Last of the Monster Kids

Last of the Monster Kids
"LAST OF THE MONSTER KIDS" - Available Now on the Amazon Kindle Marketplace!

Friday, October 8, 2021

Halloween 2021: October 8th



Barbara Crampton had a great run as a scream queen back in the eighties, appearing in several instant classic Stuart Gordon films and minor but no less beloved flicks like "Chopping Mall" and "Puppet Master." It would seem, to horror fans anyway, that Crampton mostly disappeared in the nineties. The truth is she was just doing long stints on soap operas and raising her kids. In the last ten years, Crampton has been making her comeback in films like "You're Next," "We Are Still Here," and "Sacrifice." The most buzzed about film in this Crampton Renaissance is this year's "Jakob's Wife." 

Anne is Jakob's wife. He is the beloved minister of their small town, whose milling industry has long since died. Anne fulfills all the duties of a pastor's wife but is growing frustrated with her stale marriage. When she meets an old boyfriend for dinner, they end up snogging inside the abandoned mill... Where both are attacked by a vampire. Anne finds herself revitalized by her bloodsucking transformation, challenging Jakob's authority. When her husband discovers that his wife is now among the undead, and that more vampires are infesting their town, their marriage comes to something of an impasse. 

It's pretty easy to guess where “Jakob's Wife” is going early on but that doesn't make it any less entertaining. Annie has been living the role of the proper pastor's wife for so long, that she's begun to feel numb. Becoming a vampire breaks her out of her stupor. The next morning, she's immediately defying her assigned duties, refusing to make her husband breakfast. Yet Jakob is not a bad man, just a boring one. Anne does care about him. So “Jakob's Wife” is only partially about a woman breaking free of patriarchal control. It's equally about an undead marriage coming back to life too. Their bloodsucking adventure revives the spark between Anne and Jakob, leading not just to the expected blood-soaked sex scene but also to moments of them laughing again, talking again. Having fun together for the first time in a long time. It's both refreshing and realistic to see a movie that allows both partners in a thought-loveless marriage to be complex, compassionate characters.

“Jakob's Wife” starts out in a fairly low-key mode, mimicking the lifeless mood of Jakob and Annie's marriage. Yet, as the movie goes on and more of its vampire business is revealed, it becomes a surprisingly wacky horror-comedy. An energetically cut montage of a revitalized Anne dancing around the house to a cover of “Bloodletting,” an invigorating scene, concludes with the hilarious moment of her projectile vomiting cow's blood. Husband and wife's conversation about what to do about this vampire situation plays out, not like grand drama, but like petty bickering between an old married couple. Which is essentially what it is. This amusing mixture of the macabre and the mundane is also evident when Anne and Jakob's neighbors stop by unexpectedly. Or a small child harasses them while sneaking around with a dead body. Shots like a recently revived corpse wandering around the house with a blanket over it's head or an extended, darkly hilarious scene devoted to Anne's visit to the dentist add a nice layer of manic, physical comedy to the film.

“Jakob's Wife” is directed by Travis Stevens, who previously made gooey haunted house riff “Girl on the Third Floor.” Stevens certainly knows how to assemble a sequence that produces both horror and comedy. The master vampire – which, in an amusing gender-bender twist, is played by “The Nun's” Bonnie Aarons – sneaks up on a teenage victim in a spooky sequence. The movie makes great use of spurting gore. It seems every time a vampire makes a kill, it results in a geyser of blood. Those moments are cut well enough to result in both humor and shock. There's even a little body horror, in the form of the gaping bite marks on Anne's neck pulsating as she hungers for blood. 

The connective fiber here is a pair of top-shelf performances. Crampton is excellent all throughout the film. As a bored, put-upon housewife, she brings an accurate amount of sadness and resignation to the role. A dinner party, where she's quietly prevented from talking several times, is almost heartbreaking. Crampton also excels at portraying Anne's rebirth, showing her effortlessly lifting a couch and embodying her newfound youthful energy. Equally good as Jakob is Larry Fessenden. Honestly, I was surprised when Jakob turned out to be a fairly normal dude, as (great indie horror director turned quirky character actor) Fessenden usually plays weirdos. Yet Fessenden is also excellent, showing the limitations of Jakob's personality without turning him into a bully or an aggressive asshole. He's just a normal guy with some shitty habits but he can learn and become better. 

“Jakob's Wife” received largely positive reviews, with Barbara Crampton earning most of the praise. If a horror movie version of the Oscars existed, she'd definitely be a Best Actress frontrunner in my book. It's a film that is surprisingly funny, sweet, and grisly in equal measure. It's sharply directed, Travis Stevens emerging as one of the hottest new names in the genre to watch. The script is full of clever observations, like a master vampire that hearkens back to “Nosferatu's” rat obsession or the idea of vampire surviving by existing in dying small towns. If it doesn't find any new angles to bring to the vampire tropes, it's at least a spirited and highly entertaining riff on the idea. [7/10]




Earlier in the season, I made reference to A.I.P.'s “I Was a Teenage Monster” trilogy. This was, in fact, a debatable statement. While “Blood for Dracula” is connected to “I Was a Teenage Werewolf” and “I Was a Teenage Frankenstein” by its stories and themes, a different film might be a more fitting caper on the loose trilogy. Herman Cohen would only produce the vampire flick, while providing the scripts for the Frankenstein and werewolf movies. Cohen would also do double-duty on “How to Make a Monster.” A film that would also function like something of a meta-sequel to Cohen's previous two teenage monster stories. So which entry is the third prong on this particular trilogy is really up to the viewer.

For two and a half decades, make-up effects master Pete Dumond has created monsters and madmen for American International Pictures. His most recent effort is creating the titular beasts for “Teenage Werewolf Vs. Teenage Frankenstein,” the studio's latest creature feature. It is also the studio's last creature feature. The corporate executives want to shift production to musicals and comedies. This means Dumond is getting sacked. He's none too happy about this and plots an elaborate revenge. He hypnotizes the young actors playing the teenage monsters, while make-up, motivating them to kill the producers that have betrayed him. Yet how long can Pete go about his murderous hobby without being caught?
 
“How to Make a Monster” offered viewers, in 1958, a peek behind the curtains at movie-making... An extremely sanitized, highly fictionalized peek. This is one of those classic movies-about-making-movies where the studio back lot is always bustling with people in different colorful costumes. For example, someone is shooting a pirate movie across from the monster movie. It also doesn't present an especially accurate depiction of film-making in general. The big fight between the Teenage Werewolf and Teenage Frankenstein is, apparently, shot in one take with no rehearsals or blocking beforehand. I mean, I know A.I.P.'s productions were low budget but I don't think they were that low budget. All of this is aside the fact that A.I.P. didn't have a studio at the time. Ziv Television Studio stands in for the fictional one. About the only thing the movie gets right about actual move-making is that producers watch dailies. 

Yet it's not like an accurate behind-the-scenes glimpse at A.I.P.'s process were what audiences in 1958 expected from “How to Make a Monster.” As a horror movie, this one is pretty goofy and fleet-footed. Robert H. Harris is amusingly histrionic as Dumond, who pontificates with great effort about how betrayed he feels. The monster movie thrills feature the drooling Teenage Werewolf strangling people, the Teenage Frankenstein wrestling in the dark, and Dumont making himself into a Mr. Hyde-esque murderer. Like the previous “Teenage Monster” movies, there's also a mildly diverting subplot about police detectives. The scene where they interrogate Dumont's weaselly assistant is a highlight. Another thing this one has in common with the previous “Teenage Monster” flicks is a random musical number. This time, John Ashley – a minor pop star of the time – sings-asks a set of scantily-clad dancers if they've got “ee-ooo.” 

Another thing “How to Make a Monster” takes from “I Was a Teenage Frankenstein” is the decision to move away from black-and-white. While most of the movie is monochrome, the entire last act is presented in color. It's presented rather cleverly. Dumont leads his teenage actors into his home, where he keeps monster masks from his past movies. (Which are actually cameos from Paul Blasidell's previous creations) As he lights a candle to show off his collection, the movie illuminates too. Unfortunately, this is the sole clever idea the film's ending has. “How to Make a Monster's” conclusion is pretty underwhelming, with the villain being defeated almost by accident. The police detective do not make appear and the movie ends abruptly after its fiery climax, making for a seriously anticlimactic finale. 

The movie doesn't just reference Cohen's past credits but his future ones as well. A studio tour is invited to watch the filming of “Horrors of the Black Museum,” which would be the producer's next project. (The first of several films he'd produced in England.) Ed Wood, of all people, would claim the idea for the movie was stolen from him. Supposedly his idea would've had a bitter monster movie actor – played by Bela Lugosi – taking revenge. There might be some truth to this, considering Cohen worked with Lugosi early in his career and he was supposedly the first choice to star in the film. Still, I think the two ideas sound pretty different from each other. (And both might as well have been ripped-off from an old “Batman” comic.) While I got some minor entertainment from “How to Make a Monster,” it's a bit too thin to be wholly satisfying. [6/10]



The Ray Bradbury Theater: The Veldt

After it made the not-so-prestigious leap from HBO to USA Network in its fourth season, “The Ray Bradbury Theater” would adapt another one of the prolific author's scariest short stories. “The Veldt” takes place in a highly advance, future society. A married couple, George and Lydia, live in a high-tech home that is automated largely by computers. Their young children, Peter and Wendy, are obsessed with the “nursery.” Which is actually a room with wall-sized television screens that project immersive environments. The kids seem especially enamored with an African savanna environment, where wild lions stalk prey. When this fantasy begins to encroach on reality, the parents begin to be concerned. 

One of the reasons Bradbury's story works so well is how it plays on a universal truth of the world: All children, to some degree, resent their parents. Peter and Wendy are, in their own way, challenging their parents' authority by playing all day with the nursery. Lydia feels like her role as mother has been usurped by the high-tech house while Peter shows his disrespect for his dad by calling him by his first name. Bradbury's text extends this conflict to a nightmarish extreme, with the children's fantasy life turning on their parents. The TV adaptation maintains some of these ideas, largely in the subplot of a child psychologist being called in to help the troubled parents figure out what's wrong with their kids.

Unfortunately, this humble TV show is not quite up to tackling these ideas in a nuanced way. Bradbury's story, which dealt with complex ideas like man's dependence on technology and the role family plays in a changing society, is simplified here to “screen bad.” It's sort of amazing this was written before the rise of cellphones and tablets, as the intended moral really does seem to be that children will pick screen time over their own parents. This ham-fisted message is also hampered by incredibly cheesy costumes and sets. This falls strictly into the “togas and spires” version of a sci-fi future and it looks antiquated as that sounds. The acting, especially from the actors playing the children, is also pretty stiff. The story has been adapted to film a few other times, so perhaps those versions do a fantastic piece of writing justice. [5/10]




Here's another bit of spooky animation from the sixties, adapted from a poem by Maurice Ogden. The ten minute short depicts a mysterious hangman with “buckshot eyes” arriving in an otherwise peaceful town and erecting a gallows before the courthouse. Every day, the hangman takes another person to his rope. At first, he takes a foreigner to the gallows. Then a Jew and then a black man and yet more people. After each execution, the gallows grow larger and more elaborate. The people in the town ask why each death was necessary and the hangman makes a convincing excuse, which he accepts. The hangings continue until the narrator is the only person left in the town.

Obviously, “The Hangman” is a parable about standing by, and not speaking up, when evil takes power. Probably inspired by Martin Niemoller's “First they came...,” it depicts a public that allows a murderous force to take control. The people kowtow to this authority, believing their reasoning when they execute another innocent person. Though most obviously about the Holocaust, which is made all the more apparent with the Hangman's earliest victims being non-WASP individual, it's a meaningful message to send at any point in time. There is some chilling about the way the story progresses, a singular force clipping away at everyone in town until a single person is left, one man who assumes he could never be the next person on the gallows. 

Ogden's verse, which is intricate but smooth, is read fantastically by Herschel Bernardi. The actor delivers the lines with quiet composure, making the narrative all the more chilling. As an animated short, “The Hangman” is primitive. Most of the film is made up of still, or barely moving, paintings. Yet they are awfully good paintings, depicting an surreal city made up of impressionistic structures. The way the ever-mutating gallows is depicted, or the populace willing to go along with the killing spree wearing blindfolds on their heads, is similarly striking. The actual moments of animation, usually devoted to the Hangman himself, feel like exclamation points. The jazz musical score is a bit distracting at first but soon helps engineer the mood of dread. “The Hangman” is a powerful eleven minutes, creepy and unnerving for the accurate way it captures how evil can spread if no one stands up to it. [8/10]


No comments: