RECENT WATCHES: Rock 'n' Roll High School (1979)

The origin story behind “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School” is pretty well known, I think, among cult movie fans. Near the end of the seventies, Roger Corman had the idea to resurrect the high school-set teensploitation flicks he made early in his career at AIP. Initially, he wanted to make a film call “Disco High,” as that was the fad at the time. The “Hollywood Boulevard” team of Allan Arkush and Joe Dante suggested to their boss that you can’t blow up a high school to disco, prompting the title change to “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School.” Arkush would end up directing, with Dante shooting uncredited for a few days when Alan got sick. Artists as divergent as Cheap Trick, Todd Ruddgren, Devo, and Van Halen were considered as the band the story revolves around. However, the film found the perfect pairing for its absurdist, anarchic spirit with the Ramones. The resulting movie would become a punk rock cult classic and remains a personal fave.

The teens of Vince Lombardi High are so chaotic that they drove their last principal insane. The tyrannical Principal Togar steps up, looking to impose her iron fist rule on the rowdy teenagers. Her primary adversary soon appears in the form of Riff Randell. The school’s number one rebel, Riff is obsessed with punk pioneers the Ramones. When the band arrives in the near-by town, Riff becomes determined to meet her heroes and give them her original songs. When Togar confiscates her tickets, Riff makes it to the show anyway. Soon, the rivalry between lame authority and chaotic rock youth comes to a head.

“Rock ‘n’ Roll High School” does not take place in our world. Instead, the film exaggerated the facts of high school until it becomes a live action cartoon. The square jocks become the squarest jocks imaginable. Nerds are stuffed in increasingly smaller lockers. This is a movie where rock music has the power to change the physical properties of things, shattering windows and exploding mice. The Ramones’ riotous rock can morph a stuffy music teacher into a middle-age punk. In the film’s world, it’s possible for a full hooka and the school’s matchmaker’s office to appear inside the boys’ bathroom. Paper airplanes can sail across the entire campus. A warlock-painted shaggin’ wagon can contain a cavernous den of teenage sin. Within this setting, the daily struggles between rebellious teens and stuck-up adults becomes a cartoonish rivalry of explosive proportions.

This ludicrous world allows Arkush and his team to create a number of inspired comedic gags. “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School” is, after all, the kind of movie that randomly introduces human-sized mice halfway through and then, fully committing to the gag, makes them reoccurring characters. The subplot involving the school matchmaker involves an increasingly surreal set of gags, including instructions on making out conveyed in particular ways. The Ramones controlling manager feeds them on a diet of vitamins and wheatgrass. Much like later New Worlds teen classic “Heathers,” this fully artificial world allows for eccentric dialogue that’s almost poetic. “You can put it where the monkey puts the nut,” “Things sure have changed since we got kicked out of high school,” and “Do your parents know that you’re Ramones?” are just a few choice examples.

Arkush let’s the joyfully youthful energy of the soundtrack direct the entire film. In many ways, “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School” is a punk rock riff on a classic musical. You can see this in the way a disorganized gym class launches into a fully choreographed dance routine. Or how the Ramones’ arrival at the venue launches into a spirited performance of “I Just Want to Have Something to Do.” My favorite fantastical musical sequence is Riff imaging Joey Ramones serenading her in her bedroom, to the plaintively boyish chords of “I Want You Around.” Arkush pairs these imaginative scenes with more straight-forward numbers, like a lengthy Ramones concert inserted into the middle of the film. Even this is energetically directed, with quick-cutting editing or the camera being attached directly to Joey’s mic-stand.

Perfectly attuned to the movie’s rebellious heart is P.J. Soles as Riff Randell. Nearly 30 at the time of filming but totally believable as a teenager, Soles’ limitless energy is ideal for the role. She begins the movie leaping and dancing, two things she continues to do throughout the film. Riff Randell's enthusiasm never wavers, even when she has to describe Joey Ramone – generally regarded as one of rock history's ugliest front man – as a heartthrob. Due to the film's low budget, Soles picked out her own wardrobe, which is also pretty damn amazing and eclectic. Soles is utterly delightful in the role, hilarious, adorable, bubbly.

Soles is accompanied by an utterly game supporting cast. The best of which is Mary Woronov as Miss Togar. Woronov is fantastically deadpan in the part, commenting dryly after a mouse explodes or in any of her confrontations with Riff. Clint Howard, that oddball cult performer, is also quite funny as Eaglebaucer, the school matchmaker that leaps through all sorts of amusingly sleazy loops. Also funny is that the Ramones themselves are terrible actors. They stiffly recite their dialogue, all of them obviously uncomfortable acting. (Though they have no problem performing their songs.) Just to confirm that this is a New World productions, Paul Bartel, Dick Miller, and the Real Don Steele have small supporting roles.

And, of course, the soundtrack is excellent. Aside from containing most of the Ramones' big hits, you can also hear Brian Eno, Devo, Nick Lowe, and the one Alice Cooper song you'd absolutely expect. You can attribute “Rock 'n' Roll High School's” initial cult following to fans of the Ramones and the other featured bands. However, I think the film's enduring popularity has more to do with its wonderful performances and hilarious streak of absurdist humor. That following would lead to an instantly forgotten sequel in 1991, “Rock 'n' Roll High School Forever,” which subbed in Corey Feldman for the Ramones. There was even rumblings once of a remake, with Alex Winter behind the camera, that never came to fruition. It's all for naught because it's unlikely another film could capture the joy unique to “Rock 'n' Roll High School.” [9/10]

HORRORFIND WEEKEND 14 Con Report

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Director Report Card for this special horror convention write-up!

If you recall, last year I visited my first horror convention. Originally, the plan was for ever-present movie watching pal and podcast co-host, JD (Perhaps better known as Mr. Mash? Probably not.) and I to venture to Horrorfind Weekend, an annual con in local Gettysburg, Pa. That didn’t work out for a few reasons and I went somewhere else instead. However, this year, we planned ahead. JD and I were determined to make it out there, especially since the guest line-up was pretty awesome.

I was up there mostly to meet Mary Woronov, whom I was especially excited to see after my Paul Bartel write-ups earlier in the year. JD, besides just wanting to do the con experience for the first time, was pumped about meeting Doug Bradley, since he’s a pretty big “Hellraiser” fan. He was especially looking forward to getting Mr. Bradley to sign his “18 inch Pinhead figure.

The Wyndham is a nice hotel with a massive parking lot, which is positioned next to a huge movie theater. Horrorfind screens their short film festival there. Normally, my passion for indie film and new discoveries would have gotten me there but time was at a minimum this past weekend. The lay-out of the con was a little crowded, the conference rooms were small, and the hallways a little thin. Maybe it just seemed that way because this con was super busy all weekend, full of people. You could barely hear yourself think over the roar of the crowd in the meet-and-greet hall or dealer’s room.

We headed to the celebrity meeting room first. JD met PJ Soles first, who was as peppy and energetic as always. She signed his “Halloween” DVD multiple times and with “Totally!” She was very impressed by JD’s Pinhead figure. Generally speaking, the figure made JD something of a star Friday evening. He got multiple compliments about it and one guy went into a total Justin Bieber frenzy about it. (“Oh my God, has he signed it yet?!!”) Mr. Bradley, who prefers to be called Doug, wasn’t a jerk or anything. He answered our questions and seemed friendly enough. However, he was much more interested in the young girl sitting next to him then anything else. Apparently, Pinhead is quite the ladies’ man. Can’t say I really blame him.

Mary Woronov’s table was positioned next to PJ and Dey Young, a little “Rock n’ Roll High School” reunion. Mary was somewhat impressed when I told her I had watched all of Paul’s films. We mostly talked about Paul, how they met, what he was like. Mary said you couldn’t help but be his friend, he was that kind of guy. She too is excited for the Criterion Blu-Ray of “Eating Raoul” and agrees that “Death Race 2000” is his best film. (Also, that she’s in all of his best films and that “Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills” isn’t headed to DVD any time soon.) I was a little disappointed to find out that the script for the unfilmed “Eating Raoul” sequel, “Bland Ambition,” apparently wasn’t very good. Miss Woronov was intelligent and dryly funny and I probably could have picked her brain for a few hours. She’s mostly new to cons but plans on doing more.

Ray Wise and Malcolm McDowell were the big headliners. Wise was well-spoken and very friendly. He described David Lynch as “meditative” and a man of habit, who ate the same thing for lunch every day. Paul Verhoven is a “wild man” and Wes Craven is a “cool, laid-back guy.” He didn’t have anymore insight into the mysteries of “Twin Peaks” then anybody else. Specifically, I wanted to ask him about playing a cross-dressing judge on a recent episode “Rizzoli & Isle,” which he described as a fantastic experience. Ray Wise is definitely an interesting guy and I liked him a lot.

Malcolm McDowell was a bit intimidating. I joked around that I thought every one with a British accent was evil until I was about six because he played so many villains. Maybe not the best opener? Either way, the guy sounds exactly in person like he does on screen and loves playing villains. He prefers voice-acting, calling it “easier,” and loves “Time After Time.” I had to ask about “Caligula.” McDowell said Tinto Bass, the director, was “weird.” Definitely means something coming from him. When I asked him about some of his exciting up-coming project, like “Excision” and “Monster Butler,” he said the latter has a fantastic script but getting the money is an issue. As for the former, he couldn’t even remember it. I’m sure that’s not a statement on the project’s quality so much as McDowell does a lot of movies. I wish the photograph was better. Blame JD for that.

I’ve mentioned before how much I like “Repo! The Genetic Opera,” despite myself, so I was interested in meeting Terence Zdunich. Before us, a trio of teenage girl ran up to get a picture with him, totally squeeing out the entire time. I heard one of them say “He touched my shoulder!” as she left. Inspired by that, I asked Mr. Zdunich how does it feel to be a “horror sex symbol,” my words, not his. His first response was “I don’t know, you tell me!” However, he’s definitely aware of the large amount of naughty fan art there is out there of Graverobber and complained that, in all the pictures he saw, his character is always the bottom, in words more explicit then that. So that was funny. I was happy to hear that “The Devil’s Carnival” is headed to DVD in October and everyone involved wants to do a second episode. The same goes for a “Repo!” sequel. However, Lionsgate owns that one and isn’t interested. Overall, Terence is really causal and fun. He was even responsive to JD’s request that he play Dracula in a movie.

 I was a little disappointed Count Gore de Vol didn’t remember meeting me before. I guess he meets a lot of people too. Still, he posed for an awesome picture. Dee Wallace was next. She just comes off as angelic. Good vibes radiate off of her. It’s obvious she loves meeting her fans. When asked if she is in “all the horror movies,” she responded with “No, but all of the good ones.” I wish I could have gotten a little more time with her but there was a line. Another Horrorfind regular, Bill Moseley, was next. That guy is super-talkative and chatted with us for about fifteen minutes, despite being obviously tired. He has no qualms about being type-cast as a horror actor, is a fan himself, and is frank that some of the movies he’s been in are “pretty crappy.” When asked about the upcoming “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” sequel, he said the parts he’s in “don’t suck.” Make of that what you will. Bill is cool. While I was there, JD chatted with Grant Cramer and Suzanne Synder from “Killer Klowns from Outer Space,” mostly because their table was somewhat unoccupied. They seemed very nice. That was it for Friday evening.

The second day started with a look at the car show outside. Lots of hearse out there, one Ecto-1, some of them pretty neat. After that, we did a thorough exploration of the dealer’s room. There was so much stuff. Notably, there wasn’t any bootleg DVDs. Must be a policy thing. There was a huge table from Synapse Films and I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the two guys there are actually the people who run the company. I grabbed a copy of “Christmas Evil” from them, my favorite Christmas horror movie. A second DVD table, which also had some fantastic vintage posters, yielded OOP copies of “Brain Damage” and “The Beast Within.”

I was familiar with the Clay Guy through his website and it was cool to see his product in person. If the prices weren’t a little high, that Kolchak would have come home with me. I got some figures too, a brand new “Evil Dead II” Henrietta, a vintage Headless Horseman from McFarlane Toys, and a rare Mothman from Mezco, which was an especially cool find. There was so much home-made stuff there. A woman knitted superhero and zombie themed stockings as well as extensive costume-made cosplay. She was great. There were paintings, guitars, blinged-out chainsaws, brain soap, zombie dolls, Jason masks, home-made jewelry and stain-glass, lots of artwork in general, and all sorts of neat things. You really had to be there, I guess.

A big difference between Monster-Mania and Horrorfind that I notice was there was way more cosplay in Gettysburg. Beyond all the fans in leather jackets and bodices (So many bodices!), we saw two people on stilts dressed as demonic clowns. One guy wore a blue Luchador mask all weekend and said he was a “wrestler in training” named Kid-Y. I asked a guy dressed as Shaun how many times he had been asked “You’ve got red on you” so far. (Three times.) Not to sound too much like a perv, but there were a lot of beautiful woman there. The girl selling home-made vampire fangs was decked out in cape and bodice. A young lady I took to calling “Sea Girl” had some fantastic make-up. My favorite had to be the woman dressed in an impressive Catwoman costume. She wore it well.

Another big difference was the number and type of panels. Most were devoted to book readings by authors, of which there were a lot there. We only attended two panels. The first was a make-up competition which was pretty fun. The second was a “zombie survival” presentation. Going in, I figured it would be a general survivalist panel with some zombie drag stabled on to reel in the fans. I was about right and the presentation was really dry. I left about half-way through. The chairs were uncomfortable too.

 While JD stay there and supposedly argued with the windbag who ran the presentation, I got a few more signatures. Kim Darby was soft-spoken and very frail. She sat down the whole time because of bad knees and didn’t seem in the best of health. She said John Wayne was fantastic to work with. I’m sure she gets asked that question a lot. Hopefully she’s okay and will be with us for many more years to come.

The last celeb I talked to was Meg Foster. I’m glad I did. Meg was incredibly energetic. She had nice things to say about Sam Peckinpah (“No stories there”), Rutger Hauer (“Very funny”), and Gary Buesy (“Spontaneous”). Meg told some fantastic stories about baby-sitting Jake Buesy on the set of “Carny” and talked about her own son and family a lot. When JD asked about her costume on “Masters of the Universe,” asking if the crown was uncomfortable, she launched into an energetic speech about how the crown was the most comfortable part! When I told her my name she said Zack was a “beautiful” name and, when posing for the picture, she leaned in very close. I mean, make of that what you will. Either way, it was quite an intimate connection for only a brief meeting. She was probably my favorite of the celebs I met.

After browsing the dealer’s room a little more; JD snagged a really cool spray-painted LP with costume artwork of the Cenobites; we decided to head home. Not to bore you with personal details, but Gettysburg is a beautiful town and very easy to navigate. We stepped briefly into the Museum of Spiritual Investigation which was, to be truthful, kind of lame. It’s free though so can’t complain too much. On Friday, we got lunch at the Blue and Grey Bar and Grille which is pretty awesome. I got a burger with a hot dog on top of it while JD got a burger with peanut butter on top. Crazy, right? Both were surprisingly good. I’d also recommend Chinatown Kitchen, which is decent but the delivery is a bit slow. I can’t recommend Ernie’s Texas Lunch. The food was generic, if not awful, and the bathroom was filthy.

In short, Horrorfind Weekend 14 was a lot of fun, as expected. Conventions are definitely going to be an annual thing for me from now on, time and money permitting. I probably could have spent way more but still got everything I wanted. JD had a blast too, he assures me. Overall, I’d definitely recommend the con to any other horror fans, especially since there’s not a lot else going on in the Washington area as far as these things go. JD and I are hoping to make it out to Monster-Mania in Baltimore later this month. No guarantees, of course, but I really want to meet Asia Argento and Alex Winter, while JD is excited for the “Subspecies” reunion. We’ll see what happens with that.

Thanks for reading, of course. More stuff coming soon, I promise.

MONSTER MANIA 20: Day 1

I step up to the entrance of the Baltimore Mariot. It’s my first con. I was unable to get tickets online because my traveling partner waited until the last minute to confirm. We got about ninety minutes before the posted start time. I fear there will be a long wait for the tickets or, worst yet, because the universe has a vendetta against me, all of the tickets will have magically disappeared. As we walk up through the parking lot, I spot cars with Jason, Michael Myers, and Evil Dead bumber stickers. One guy has a large zombie bobblehead perched on his dash. These are my people, I think. My anxiety is alleviated, replaced instead by excitement.

We step through the door. Not only isn’t there any sort of line, there’s not a single other person in the lobby. Nothing. There is no immediate sign of life anywhere else. My traveling partner asked, “Is this the right place?” Apparently there is such a thing as being too early.

After a little more searching, we found the ticket booth and a con schedule. A near-by escalator led to the Fright Rags t-shirt table. Okay, so we were in the right place. It was quickly decided to pop for the deluxe tickets so we could get into the con an hour early. I didn’t want to miss out on anything.

There wasn’t any threat of that. As we step through the hallways of Monster-Mania 20 proper, the majority of dealers tables and booths weren’t even set up yet. The room were celebs would be signing was barren and empty. The tables marked with simple pieces of papers and names was the only sign that we hadn’t accidentally slip three days into the future.

I scan the tables, spotting many of the expected names. Tony Todd, Jeffrey Combs, Zach Galligan, and others. But one important name is missing. Where’s the Atkins?

While the majority of con-goers, I suspect, came out for John Carpenter or one of the many other “Halloween” themed guests, Tom Atkins was the deciding factor for me. Yes, PJ Soles, Tony Todd, Carpenter, and maybe a few others were all guests I wanted to see. And, of course, just to scrounge the dealers floor and go out and meet people. But, mostly: Atkins. I was worried
his flight had been canceled or something. But, as I was walking back to the car to retrieve my camera, who but Tom Atkins himself walked by, playing with some sort of smart phone.

Times were good.

After paying too much for a German “Night of the Creeps” poster, which wasn’t the one I wanted, I found the room where all the Halloween related guests were gathered. I walk up to Tom’s table and, of course, he had replicas of the poster I want right there. But, whatever. Tom seemed pretty cool, just as sharp and humorous as you’d expect. He made repeated references to the Fright Rags shirts around him, seeming slightly perplexed by his fandom’s admiration.

Of course, because I’m a nerd and had just gotten swept up in everything, I hadn’t manage to think of any good questions or topics of conversation. I stumbled through a few statements about how “Night of the Creeps” is an all-time fave and how he was the main reason I came out to Baltimore. I didn’t even need to tell him to sign the poster with “Thrill Me!” He’s probably going to get ask to write that a hundred times this weekend.

He showed me a small stack of stickers the company makes, inscribed with the message “It’s Atkins Time!” He told me to go back down to the Fright Rags table and instruct someone named Krista that this image should be blown up and placed on beer coasters. I had a mission, a message straight from the mouth of Det. Cameron himself.

PJ Soles was the next guest I really had to meet but, oh curses, I had left my “Rock n’ Roll High School” DVD back at the hotel room. By the time I got back to the convention, things had gone from sleepy to swinging. There were crowds of people out, everything was fully set up, and I saw both a Jason and a Michael Myers.

PJ Soles has got to be one of the nicest celebs I’ve meet. She seemed extremely pleased to see a “Rock n’ Roll High School” fan and admitted it was her favorite role. She talked enthusiastically about the film and her character. She signed my DVD numerously times without me even asking and even posed for multiple photos, to make sure we got the perfect one. She was just extremely friendly and nice.



The dealer’s room was impressive. There was a huge cube set up in the middle of the room, full of figures. (Sadly, nothing I needed or didn’t all ready have.) What really impressed me was the number of home-made crafts. A lady crocheted various horror movie villains, which were both adorable and awesome. One man was selling Christmas bulbs, hand-painted with the Star Trek captains, Doctors one through ten, Godzilla creatures, and, the most tempting selection for me, the Universal Monsters. There were also home-made action figures, LEGO creations, fascinating mix-medium paintings, picture boxes, prints, and mountains of bootleg DVDs. (Also, a chick with huge tits, working for some independent distributor, tricked me into buying some crappy indie flick. These people know their audience.)



Anyway, this is getting long so I’ll cut to the point: I stumbled back to the signing room. Tony Todd’s flight got delayed, so he wasn’t there. So I settled for Zach Galligan. (Nice, very willing to answer questions, but a little distracted. Also, we got into a minor conversation about the proper way to spell Zack. To quote, “Zach should always have a hard –ch sound, like Loch Ness Monster." And he confirmed my suspicion that "Waxwork" was written by a hyper-active twelve year old.)

I walked by a table and realized the attractive young lady sitting there was actually Phobe the Feeb, all grown up. Ashley Bank was quite nice and we talked for about ten minutes. She discussed how she didn’t even meet Tom Noonan until she was an adult. On the set, he was never out of make-up, so she just assumed she was hanging out with Frankenstein. We also discussed the disappearing Fred Dekker and how, even as a little girl, she loved horror movies. (She shared a great story about going to the "Nightmare on Elm Street 2" premiere, despite only being about five years old.)

Finally, I decided to go ahead and give Jeffrey Combs a look, despite what I’ve heard about his reputation. However, as I walked over, I noticed a guy sitting at a table with prints of Georgio, the titular creature from “Castle Freak.” Indeed, Jonathan Fuller not only played the monster in that film, but also the hero of Stuart Gordon’s “The Pit and the Pendulum.” The actor’s connection with the director goes back to Gordon’s stage play days. Fuller was another friendly, chatty, intelligent guy and another completely unexpected great guest I met. After going up to both Ashley and Mr. Fuller strictly out of curiosity, I ended up buying a signed print from both, just because they were so nice.

So, I decided the night was up for me, especially after scoring a really cool “Aquaman” t-shirt from a guy who turned out to be a sincere fan of the character. (And also had a whole bunch of other cool stuff for sale.) I walked past the Fright Rags table and noticed a young lady sitting there. I walked up and asked if her name was Krista. “Yep.” “Tom Atkins sent me.” The message was delivered. "The Atkin's words are law," she said. I couldn't agree more. My mission was complete.