Director Report Card: James Wan (2023)

11. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

I, as an average citizen, should know nothing about the business side of Hollywood. The names of entertainment company CEOs, ideally, would remain complete mysteries to me. I'm here for the art, man, not to learn about stock numbers. Unfortunately, we live in an imperfect world which means I know who David Zaslav is. Warner Brothers' 2022 merger with Discovery Media and Zaslav's appointment to the corporation's throne seems to have thrown things into chaos. WB's attempt to build their own superhero cinematic universe to rival Disney/Marvel's became a load-bearing wall in the company's existence, despite the series always trailing behind their direct competition. James Wan's "Aquaman" had been one of the few unarguable hits of the DC Extended Universe, which obviously meant a sequel immediately went into production. Zaslav, however, pinned the entire future of the franchise on "The Flash," the kind of behind-the-scenes fiascos that books are written about. (Following "Justice League," already an example of an equally staggering production clusterfuck.) By the time "Aquaman 2" made it to theaters, "The Flash" had bombed to such a degree that an entire reboot of the cinematic DC Universe was already announced. This meant "Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom" was the dying gasps of a failed endeavor, the unintentionally final chapter in an attempt to build an international brand. That's not the only reason the sequel failed to repeat the original's billion dollar success. Many other factors were involved in "Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom" being the latest victim of superhero fatigue. Few of them where the fault of James Wan and the rest of the creative team. As a genuine fan of Aquaman as a comic book character, let me attempt to autopsy what the sequel got right, what it did wrong, and why it failed to resonate with a public that ate up the first one. 

Since defeating his brother and ascending to the throne of Atlantis, Arthur Curry's life has changed considerably. He's taken Mera as his queen and beget a son, Arthur Jr. Balancing the duties of fatherhood, ruling a kingdom, and being a head-smashing oceanic superhero has been difficult though. As a global climate crisis cripples Atlantis, Arthur is faced with an old foe returning. Black Manta, still determined to take revenge on Aquaman, has acquired an ancient black trident. The weapon is possessed by the spirit of Kordax, the inhuman king of a cursed Atlantean kingdom that was imprisoned in Arctic ice centuries ago. Kordax is using Manta's hunger for revenge to burn Orichalcum, a powerful fuel source with disastrous effects on the environment, to free himself and his army. Arthur seeks out the help of an unexpected source to stop Black Manta's destructive quest: His brother Orm, the Ocean Master. The two will have to overcome their legendary sibling rivalry if they hope to save the world. 

Much of the first "Aquaman's" success, I suspect, can be attributed to the public's love of Jason Momoa's goofy dude-bro persona. Momoa's sex appeal and charm turned a character probably regarded as a joke by many into a huge moneymaker. Not unreasonably, Momoa was given more control over the sequel, first pitching an idea for a follow-up during production of the original. This means "Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom" features far more of Momoa's silly machismo. He begins the film with a monologue about how boring he finds his kingly duties and how much more he'd rather be fighting bad guys. The subsequent action scene is scored to "Born to Be Wild," among the most obvious of dad rock needle drops. Throughout the sequel, he extols the virtues of cheeseburgers, beer, and fist fights. Now that Aquaman is a dad, the sequel turns Arthur Curry into more of a meat-headed tough guy with a heart of gold that loves his son. It removes the cinematic Aquaman further from the complex character he is on the page while also showing the limits of Momoa's charms. He's amusing when doing the cartoonish surfer guy angle but the sequel is unable to add much more depth. Momoa and Arthur Curry with him becomes a more two-dimensional – and perhaps annoying at times –  caricature. 

This goes hand-in-hand with an overall goofier tone. There are multiple jokes throughout the first ten minutes about Arthur Jr. peeing in his dad's face. The image of an infant telepathically communicating via psychic waves emanating from his head crops up a few times. Topo the Octopus played the drums in one scene in the first "Aquaman," an in-joke that became an internet meme. Now Topo has graduated to a proper supporting player, leading to the hero dismissively making rude comments to the squishy cephalopod. John Rhys Davis as the Brine King, the odd crab humanoid, is given a larger role too while Storm the giant seahorse also gets the spotlight for a sequence. Arthur tricking his brother into eating a cockroach is a running gag. All of this and more contributes to a far sillier, jokier tone. Wan's first "Aquaman" didn't take itself that seriously and it was a license for the film to embrace a delightful, imaginative looseness. The sequel doubles down on the silly without raising the amusement and imagination much, making the limitations of this approach much more evident.

James Wan and David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick supposedly took inspiration from the Silver Age era of comics when writing “The Lost Kingdom.” This is fitting, as that was the era when Aquaman became one of the few superheroes to be an active family man. During that time, Mera would often accompany him on his adventures, Aqualad and Aquagirl became part of the team, and even Arthur Jr. was sometimes involved in the shenanigans under the name Aquababy. This era would come to a definitive end with issue #452 of “Adventure Comics,” published in August of 1977. That is when Black Manta murdered Arthur's toddler son, in what is surely one of the darkest events in superhero comics up to that point. It's a notorious story and one the sequel hints at, with Black Manta abducting the child in the last third. All throughout production, the question of whether “Aquaman 2” would go that far floated over it. That would certainly distinguish the film from the rest of the superhero lot.

Unsurprisingly, this light-hearted superhero adventure does not climax with infanticide. Unwilling to murder a baby, the sequel instead attempts to emphasize the theme of family. Mera getting injured by Black Manta is what drives him on this mission. His dad and mother get larger roles, with the plot eventually bending towards the two brothers learning to forgive each other. It's a nice idea but it proves to be an element more informed than depicted. Amber Heard somehow became the center point of right-wing hatred after she sued her alcoholic ex-husband with a history of erratic behavior. How exactly this effected the production of “Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom” remains largely within the realm of tabloid gossip. However, we do know that Amber Heard's role in the film was reduced during reshoots. Mera is practically a non-entity throughout long stretches of the film. Meanwhile, it's tricky to fight crime with a baby strapped to your back, meaning Arthur Jr. spends a lot of time with his granddad. Ultimately, it's hard to take the movie's claims of being about a love of family when it intentionally forces the hero apart from his wife and son for long stretches of its runtime. 

Superhero movies being subjected to extensive re-shoots and essentially rewritten in the editing room has become standard practice over the last decade. You might go so far as to call it the Marvel Method. While we can only speculate exactly on how “Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom” was re-shuffled after filming, the effect is undeniably felt. The sequel is overly burdened with exposition and back-story all throughout. Concepts – like the nature of the desert prison Orm is kept in or this mysterious fuel source Manta is exploiting – are sloppily introduced in voice-over during visual montages. Seemingly important plot points, like a plague sweeping through Atlantis and killing Willem DaFoe's Vulko, are relegated to easily missed lines of dialogue. The worst example of this occurs in the last third. The entire backstory of Kordax and the Lost Kingdom – otherwise known as the thing that gives the sequel its subtitle – is delivered in one massive exposition dump with less than an hour to go. The impression that the film had a litany of ideas and concepts to introduce, but no organic way to set them up in the narrative, occurs throughout all of “Aquaman 2.”

These are not the only ideas in “The Lost Kingdom” that seem like they are going to be important but are abandoned quickly. The opening montage suggests that weary is the head that wears the crown, Arthur finding himself ill-suited to being royalty. This is a frequent theme in the “Aquaman” comics and seems like it's going to add additional tension to the sequel's story. Arthur busting Orm out of jail potentially makes him a traitor to his own state. Instead, this idea never really builds to anything. Similarly, earlier scenes also suggest that Atlantis revealing itself to the surface is going to be a major plot thread throughout. It's not, being mentioned in this early sequence and coming back for the final sequence, but never actually being incorporated into the plot. All of this suggests that many different ideas were floated for “Aquaman 2,” some of them being incorporated into different drafts and cuts of the film, and the final result is a compromised combination of all of them.

In other words, “Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom” is a bit of a mess, clearly at the mercy of behind-the-scenes studio politics and endless re-structuring in post-production. Despite that, the movie still managed to entertain me. Once Arthur and Orm are teamed-up, the sequel becomes a rather entertaining movie in the buddy cop mold. Two guys who don't like each other, for reasons perhaps more personal than usual, are forced together on an adventure. During this wild journey, they will learn to respect each other and maybe love each other too. Watching that play out, with recovering villain Orm proving himself or Arthur risking his neck for the guy, is the smoothest element of the script. Moreover, the chemistry between Jason Momoa and Patrick Wilson provides a lot of pep to the second half. Momoa, in full-on goofy surfer dude mode, plays nicely off Wilson as the humorless Orm. That the brothers literally come from different words, and have totally different perspectives on everything, makes their dynamic juicier. When the sequel doesn't let its own overdone script get in its way, and focuses on the spark between these two, is when it manages to be most amusing.

Something that made the first “Aquaman” a lot better than expected was James Wan fully embracing the Saturday morning cartoon nuttiness of the material. While the sequel is probably too goofy overall, you can tell that the director is having a great time playing around with this mega-sized budget. Wan's loyalty to New Line Cinema meant he never got the call from Disney to work on a “Star Wars.” No matter, because Wan simply makes an underwater “Star Wars” here. A battle through the transportation tubes of Atlantis, an elaborate CGI dog-fight with high-tech vehicles patterned after various aquatic animals, brings the trench run of George Lucas' space opera to mind. The influence becomes impossible to deny once Arthur and Orm visit a seedy hang-out for pirates. Full of bizarre aquatic creatures, a colorful band of inhuman singers, and a corpulent and monstrous crime boss at the center, it's a moment clearly evocative of Mos Eisley and Jabba's palace. Both of these scenes are a lot of fun too, featuring creative applications of the underwater setting and more moments of the heroes reacting to the strange shit around them.

“Star Wars” is not the only influence that Wan wears on his sleeve here. Black Manta's base of operation is a secluded volcanic island. The burning of Orichalcum has mutated the local flora and fauna. Which means Arthur and Orm have to run through an island gauntlet of giant killer bugs and man-eating plants. Yes, Wan is allowed to get a little "King Kong" into this brew. The homage is made obvious when the two brothers have to run across a statue precariously balanced between a massive gorge. Putting some enormous, flesh-eating locusts and giant carnivorous plants in your pulpy adventure story is a great way to win me over. Moreover, this represents "The Lost Kingdom" at its most fast-paced and fleet-footed, getting laughs and thrills out of this mismatched pair running from and outsmarting some king-sized beasties. Presumably the script for "Aquaman 2" being so overloaded is why the film didn't go the extra mile and make the setting Dinosaur Island, to further the "Kong" connection.

Among the influences James Wan actually pointed out was Mario Bava's “Planet of the Vampires.” I suppose this is evident in the sequences of old, undead monsters being awoken from an ancient sleep. The finale of Kordax and his army of undead warriors is the most obvious example of Wan sneaking his horror influence into his superhero sequel. Black-boned skeletons, shrouded in green-burning fire, and wielding medieval weapons is something that could fit on a heavy metal album cover. These zombie-like elements are mixed with tentacles creatures emerging from the deep, which brings certain Lovecraftian vibes to the material. Probably my favorite horror-esque touch are those blood-drinking, skeletal warriors living in the desert and running around on bizarre, reptilian monster steeds. That was cool.

That's what sticks in my mind about “Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom.” As a comic book, action movie spectacle, it still delivers some impressive moments. The desert chase concludes with Orm emerging from the beach, Patrick Wilson's rippling pectorals returned, and an impressive melee fighting. A battle in Black Manta's base with a huge, robotic octopus vehicle features a massive anchor on a chain being swung around, a dynamic prop. When Arthur and Black Manta finally go toe-to-toe in the last act, after a whole movie building up their confrontation, the resulting fight scene features some smooth, clever camera movements as the weapons swing through the air. These moments remind us that these movies are based on comic books, of striking images strung together panel by panel.

That the action scenes are exciting are nice. However, the sequel seems to lack a convincing villain. “The Lost Kingdom” redeems Ocean Master, Patrick Wilson allowed to turn the over-the-top bad guy of the first movie into someone more sympathetic. That means Black Manta, now established as Arthur's arch-nemesis with a potent grudge, should rise to the role of proper antagonist, right? Yahya Abdul-Mateen II remains incredibly intense throughout the part, almost comically so. He is bathed with a layer of sweat in every scene, his eyes always wide as he remains utterly focused on destroying his foe. And Manta does drive the plot... By being pushed around by the ancient spirit of Kordax. The villain spends the whole obsessing with Aquaman but doesn't actually confront him until the finale. The result is that the film's antagonist feels like a flunky for an eldritch entity. Who, by the way, is defeated in a hugely anticlimactic fashion. Ultimately, try as the film might, it can't make Aquaman's comic book adversaries – whether it be his all-time most frequent enemy or the green-skinned, blonde, one-armed, accursed prince – into truly memorable characters. 

“Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom” also includes a moral about global warming. Out of control climate change is melting the polar ice caps, creating increasingly erratic weather patterns, and causing disease to spread among the Atlanteans. This is an important element to cook into your mass-appeal blockbuster, since climate change is a very real threat to all of us here in the real world. Unfortunately, there's a reason fantasy stories like this were not meant to directly address real world issues. Because the polar ice caps melting, in the DC Universe, isn't bad because it'll flood coastlines and lead to the deaths and displacements of millions... It's because it'll unleash an ancient evil. Similarly, the ice caps aren't melting because unchecked corporate greed keeps the majority of the globe dependent on fossil fuels. It's because a high-tech pirate is burning an ancient super-fuel that was locked away centuries before. The result comes off as good-intentioned but hopelessly clumsy. The moral is twisted, making real world evil an accessory to comic book supervillainy. 

The overall reaction to “Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom” seems to have been a negative one. Many seem to agree that the sequel strayed too far into its own goofiness. The controversary around Amber Heard – a manufactured attempt to disparage a woman leaving an abusive marriage, in my opinion – nevertheless stained the sequel's reputation. A vocal minority of embittered fanboys were still stung about Zack Snyder's miserabilist vision of the DC Universe being tossed aside. A combination of oversaturation and the extended pause of the COVID pandemic changing the world's priorities ended the era of superhero movies dominating our pop culture, it would seem. All these factors combined to prevent “Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom” from being a hit on the scale of the first. It's a deeply compromised, incredibly uneven movie, that probably was never meant to support the stakes placed on it. That doesn't mean there isn't some fun to be had here. Jason Momoa has hung up his trident, next scheduled to play intentionally ridiculous space biker Lobo, the DC character he probably should've been cast as from the get-go. His tenure as Aquaman – it remains to be seen if another actor will ever fill the green and orange tights – represents an interesting, sporadically fun attempt to turn the much malign superhero into a global phenomenon. [Grade: B-]

Among Wan's unrealized projects was a spin-off of “Aquman” centering on The Trench, the man-like fish monsters that popped up in a few scenes in the first movie. That shows the director's interest in horror stories about humanoids from the deep. That fascination seemed destined to climax with Wan directing a remake of “Creature from the Black Lagoon,” as part of Universal's latest attempt to retrofit their classic monster characters for the modern age. He's also working on a feature adaptation of Lovecraft's “The Call of Cthulhu,” further suggesting that gilled horrors from beyond the briny deep are on his mind lately. It's been about a year since we've heard any updates on either of those projects, so who knows if they'll make it to the screen. Until then, Wan is staying busy as a producer, shepherding other franchises and filmmakers through his Atomic Monster studio. I think Wan is mixed talent, having made some movies I liked and some I didn't care for much at all, but he's certainly a more distinctive filmmaker than I previously gave him credit for. I hope whatever he makes next is closer in tone to “Malignant” than “The Conjuring 2.”

Director Report Card: James Wan (2018)

9. Aquaman

In 1939, newsstands would be introduced to a superhero inspired by classic tales of seafaring adventure and the myth of Atlantis, ideas likely pushed into the zeitgeist by the naval battles of a quickly escalating World War II. The soon-to-be iconic character was named... Namor the Submariner, created by Bill Everett and first appearing in Marvel Comics #1, published by a company then known as Timely Comics. Two years later, in 1941, competitor DC Comics would introduce their own maritime do-gooder. First appearing in issue #73 of More Fun Comics, and created by Paul Norris and Mort Weisinger, was Aquaman. Though fairly distinct from each other in the Golden Age, the two oceanic defenders would develop suspiciously similar profiles over the years. Aquaman grabbed Namor's origin, as the offspring of a surface dweller and a runaway Atlantean royalty, while Namor swiped Aquaman's telepathic rapport with all water-dwelling animals. Aquaman survived the end of the forties' fascination with superhero comics by being the back-up feature in Adventure Comics, a book anchored by the ever-popular Superboy. That's how a long-time second-stringer – who didn't have his own book or even appear on a cover until twenty years after his introduction – would slowly eclipse his watery rival in terms of public knowledge. That boost in popularity can probably be attributed to Aquaman, now with the civilian identity of Arthur Curry, becoming a founding member of the Justice League of America in 1960. 

That led to the character appearing on the Saturday morning cartoon series, "Super Friends." That show, in one form or another, ran for twelve years. In that time, it would reach a far wider audience than the most popular comic book ever could, despite the typically subpar standards of seventies television animation. While Superman and Batman's reputation survived co-starring alongside Wonder Dog and Gleek, Aquaman's largely did not. The seemingly scope-limiting requirement that his adventures take place near water, and his powers being widely mischaracterized as "talking to fish," combined to make Aquaman a favorite target of hacky comedians for years afterwards. As late as 2004, the character was still public shorthand for a lame superhero among people who don't actually read comic books. That is the year the idea of a big budget "Aquaman" movie became a running gag on "Entourage." Such a concept was considered that absurd and improbable at the time. 

That was before the decade defining success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which turned relatively obscure and easily mocked characters like Hawkeye, Rocket Raccoon and Ant-Man into the stars of billion-dollar grossing movies. Punchline though he may be, Aquaman was still way more famous than those guys. This meant Warner Brothers was completely serious about developing an "Aquaman" movie as part of their somewhat late, largely ill-fated attempt to create a Marvel-like franchise around their pantheon of DC Comics heroes. And comic writers had made many attempts to rehabilitate Aquaman's image over the years. His stories got a lot more intense, his archenemy killing his infant son and his marriage to longtime wife Mera falling apart. He led the Justice League for a bit. He got a cooler costume, quickly abandoned because it was too hard to draw. In the nineties, a well-received retooling from Peter David focused on the mythic fantasy element. That brought with it an edgy new look that included a pirate-like hook hand and beard. When Geoff Johns brought back the Silver Age look and origin – while occasionally nodding at the character's status as the butt of many lame jokes – that was successful as well. Various cartoons and video games leaned into the observation that Aquaman is actually pretty cool, playing up his status as a noble king, a family man, a large ham, an environmental protector, and a legitimate bad-ass that can go toe-to-toe with Superman and Batman. By the 2010s, the likelihood of the public turning out for a big budget "Aquaman" movie seemed totally plausible. 

Thus, Warner Brothers went ahead with the idea, saying in 2013 that a film based on the character was a high priority. Aquaman would appear in Zack Snyder's hyper-grim "Batman V. Superman" before having a starring role in the behind-the-scenes clusterfuck that was "Justice League." While neither film were the hits Warner Brothers needed them to be, casting Jason Momoa as the ocean protector was extremely well received. Especially the decision to make sure the TV heartthrob was shirtless as often as possible. By this time, I was seeing the friends of my mother and other people who have never gone near a comic shop in their lives declaring they "loved Aquaman." Warner Brothers had begun using New Line Cinema's horror flicks as a place to recruit directors who could work efficiently for their superhero productions. This is how James Wan made the leap from "The Conjuring" to "Aquaman." The director chose the character because he perceived him as having lower stakes, seeing more freedom to do his own thing with a less beloved property than a better known one. This promise of "funderwater adventure" was the right instinct to follow. Utilizing the same eye for outrageous action that made "Furious 7" a billion-dollar grosser, Wan's "Aquaman" would defy the odds and also become an eight figure success.

Drawing mostly from Johns' New 52 run, "Aquaman" explains the hero's origins as the son of lighthouse keeper Thomas Curry and Atlanta, aquatic royalty fleeing an arranged marriage. Arthur grows into a defender of the seas, able to breathe underwater, swim at superhuman speeds, telepathically control sea life, lift submarines with ease, and survive freezing, crushing depths. He is reluctant to embrace his status as Atlantean royalty however. The water manipulating Atlantean warrior Mera arrives to try and recruit Arthur. His half-brother King Orm has gone mad with power, seeking to declare himself master of the oceans and start a war with the surface world. As the son of the (still missing) queen, Arthur has the right to challenge his brother for the throne. He's slowly talked into it, beginning an adventure that takes him and Mera on a quest to retrieve the magical trident of the first king of Atlantis and prevent war. 

By 2018, the formula for superhero movies had been well established. You run through the hero's origin and introduce a villain for him to tangle with, hopefully one related to said origin in some way. There's a climax full of CGI destruction, sometimes with a beam of light shooting into the heavens. By the end, our good guy fully embraces his status as a superhero, ready for further adventures in potential sequels gratuitously hinted at in this first film. Working with a script from "The Conjuring 2's" David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick and Will Beall, Wan's "Aquaman" does not challenge this set-up. Barely acknowledging that it takes place after "Justice League," frequent flashbacks establish Arthur's beginnings as the son of two worlds and his training from a wise mentor. The sequence where Mera takes Arthur to Atlantis for the first time, and he's introduced to a dazzling and technologically advanced kingdom he had no idea existed, is clearly inspired by "Black Panther." The plot eventually turns into a standard MacGuffin chase, as Arthur and Mera seek a plot device that will solve all their problems. This takes them to a number of scenic locations, the constant pursuit from Orm's henchmen allowing for frequent action set-pieces. It concludes in a massive underwater war, equal parts "Avengers" and "Lord of the Rings." Shout-outs to the comics appear right on time to get cheers out of the nerds in the audience, a bigger world and history established that future continuations can explore. 

In other words, "Aquaman" is a bunch of phooey, derivative of other movies and comfortable existing totally within the perimeters of its genre. Which isn't to say the movie isn't wildly entertaining. Wan and his team keep the approach light throughout. "Aquaman" is, in many ways, a fish-out-of-water – pun fully intended – romantic comedy. As someone raised on land, thoroughly modern and common in his attitudes, Arthur finds Atlantis to be a strange, unusual and stuffy place. Likewise, Mera is unfamiliar with surface culture. This is illustrated in a cute scene where she makes friends with a little girl in an Italian villa. The two can't stand each other at first but, as Arthur proves his worthiness and Mera lightens up a little, they fall for each other. It's a cute progression, the movie following these two misfits as they learn more about each other's world and slowly develop feelings for one another. It's a good way to introduce the audience to this world and this duo. 

Making "Aquaman" into a partial rom-com plays to its leading man's strengths. In the comics, Aquaman is usually ambiguous about his status as king and often torn between the world he was raised in and the world he was born to protect. How often he uses humor to lighten his load or how much he sees superheroing as a burden or a joy varies from writer to writer. Mostly, he's a serious guy, his wife and family keeping him grounded as he grapples with protecting the seas and tricky Atlantean politics. As played by Jason Momoa, Arthur Curry becomes a long-haired, beer-gulping dude's dude. He is a super-macho brawler who carries a secret pain about being abandoned by his mom and rejected by both the sea and the surface. Mostly, he copes by being kind of a goofball. He's a stinky smart-ass that seems dim (though actually isn't) but mostly rejects the casual sexism once associated with the surfer bro attitude. He's a modern wholesome himbo, designed to appeal to a certain population of women who like their guys hunky and hyper-masculine but also sweet and non-intimidating. This makes Aquaman into a totally different character from what exists in the comics, not dissimilar to how Thor acts in the later Marvel movies. The script bends Aquaman around Jason Momoa's celebrity image as a self-aware sex symbol and chill biker guy, also incorporating his Polynesian heritage into Arthur's backstory. As a fan of the character's traditional portrayal, it definitely took me a little time to adapt to this wildly different take on the character. Momoa's schtick is amusing and he's an affable screen presence, making it difficult not to eventually be won over by him. I don't know if it's how I would've chosen to depict Aquaman in a movie but it is, nevertheless, a winning combination. 

Wan's "Aquaman" never comments on the cultural meme of its hero "talking to fish." In fact, Arthur Curry's telepathic bond with all the animals in the sea is shown as a devastating superpower with many practical combat applications. Don't think for a minute that the movie isn't well aware of how goofy this material supposedly is. Like many modern superhero films, "Aquaman" often uses comedy to let mainstream audiences know that it also thinks this shit is stupid and lame. One of Orm's henchman gets his head dunked in a toilet bowl. The chase through Florence often pauses for disbelieving stares from the locals. Momoa often doesn't go long without cracking a joke of some kind, which doesn't stop when the stakes are high. There's been much debate over taking such an approach to comic book material. When handled badly, random slapstick comedy and constant one-liners can drain any tension or grandeur from the story, coming off as if the filmmaker is embarrassed to be working on this nerd shit and regards what he's adapting with patronizing insincerity, if not outright contempt. 

Perhaps James Wan was a little embarrassed to be working on an "Aquaman." There are definitely times when the film feels too in-on-its-own-joke. However, any director who considers Ed and Lorraine Warren to be real world defenders of good clearly isn't in any place to look down on Aquaman. For as much as the film jokes about its fantastical scenario, there's also a full-blown embracing of the wackiness of what we are seeing here. An octopus playing the drums or narwhals impaling people with their curly horns becoming deadly are silly but it's also awesome. The film is filled with humanoid fish creatures, crab men, laser guns, pocket dimensions and magical tridents. Rather than flee from the more “comic-book-y” elements of the material, the film embraces it. Aquaman rides a giant seahorse, Mera wears a gown made of jellyfish, and Orm actually refers to himself by the supervillain name of Ocean Master. The story is fully absorbed in the absurd mythology of its setting, throwing around names like Xebel and Atlan and the Brine King without any shame.

Another smart decision “Aquaman” makes tonally is packing the supporting cast with sturdy actors who never blink in the face of all this silliness. If Jason Momoa's lead performance is mostly tongue-in-cheek, he's surrounded by performers who play the material as grand opera. Nicole Kidman, as the misplaced queen, and Patrick Wilson as Orm all approach their roles as larger-than-life mythic figures. Wilson brings an edge of Olympian melodrama to his gestures and dialogue, while Kidman is totally committed to the nonsense she has to spew here. Willem Dafoe is similarly straight-faced in the even more standard role of Vulko, a generic wise mentor role imbued with Dafoe's gravelly charm. Amber Heard and Dolph Lundgren – inexplicably cast as daughter and father – aren't consumite pros on the level of Kidman or Dafoe. Heard is never as enchanting as Mera needs to be, doing better as the bitchy straight-woman to Momoa's antics. Dolph does bring some regality to a mostly thankless supporting part. Mostly, it's simply neat to see him in a high-profile film like this after years in the direct-to-video ghetto.  

As in “Furious 7,” Wan approaches the action in a largely theatrical style. The action scene in Italy feels the most like a sequence from one of the “Fast” movies, a high-impact foot chase across the rooftops of the village. People smashing through walls and buildings stand in for cars and trucks flipping and crashing. The climax of this sequence is a cool shot of Black Manta tossed from a cliff, the camera careening down the mountainside with him. The superhero genre allows for flashier special effects, of course. Mera's hard water powers lead to several novel images. When Aquaman boards a submarine under siege from pirates, the movie delights in using the tight interiors of the location to creates some comic panel-like shots. Don Burgess' cinematography suits this material much better than “The Conjuring,” the camera weaving dramatically through the CGI sets. The oceanic setting lends itself to some colorful visuals, like Atlantis being lit by bioluminescence or a flare falling through the deep.

The latter image is the climax of another high-light of “Aquaman.” On their quest to locate the mythical Trident of Atlan, Arthur and Mera encounter the Trench. That's an underwater race of monstrous fish-men, heavily recalling Lovecraft's Deep Ones and the Creature from the Black Lagoon. The set piece, of the monsters swarming around Arthur and Mera on a storm-tossed boat, heavily recalls Wan's horror work. This is not the only time the director is clearly using the superhero movie budget to indulge his inner monster kid. The plot weaves in a lost world setting, allowing some dinosaurs to appear. This is shortly before the movie throws in a proper kaiju, in the form of a Kraken-like enormous cephalopod. All of these elements are taken from the “Aquaman” comics. However, you can tell the chance to include stuff he obviously loves was probably a deciding factor in Wan choosing this superhero over The Flash or anyone else. 

In its climax, “Aquaman” fully embraces its status as computer-generated spectacle. The finale is a massive underwater war sequence, with lots of crustacean casualties, Mosasaur steeds, subaquatic explosions, and every thing that swims and crawls in the sea being weaponized. It is an unending assault on all the senses, unbearably loud and frenetic, with any number of digital effects being tossed directly into the viewer. (Literally if you saw the movie projected in 3D.)  Alternatively, it is a gleefully goofy burst of epic nonsense, the movie going out of its way to top itself in the last half-hour. Just when the film seems to have pushed past the point of total ridiculousness, it's reeled back in for the final showdown between Arthur and Orm, which smartly takes place as a one-on-one melee. If you have the patience or tolerance for superhero movie shenanigans, there's no denying that this is a well done example. I suppose it depends on if you think a fleet of murderous orcas coming to the rescue of a John Rhys Davis-voiced crab monster is delightful or intolerable. 

“Aquaman” wouldn't be a modern superhero movie if it didn't go out of its way to leave some narrative crumbs for a sequel to exploit. This is mostly apparent in the subplot surrounding Black Manta. Anybody a little familiar with the source material probably know that Black Manta is Aquaman's number one foe and most persistent enemy. Ocean Master obviously makes more sense as the bad guy for a first “Aquaman” adventure but he wasn't on the Legion of Doom, so who cares, right? The movie, smartly skipping the militant black separatist or evil autism origins, goes out of its way to establish the personal grudge between the sea pirate and the next King of Atlantis. The distinctively helmeted enemy weaves in and out of the story, never quite justifying his appearances beyond the expectation that he'll get more to do next time. Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, an actor Hollywood was really insisting on turning into a big star around this time, cranks the blustery, sweaty intensity up as high as possible in the part. It's the most blatant example of the movie setting up shit for a follow-up but, I will say, at least the suit looks really good. 

In fact, all the costumes in “Aquaman” are quite good. Arthur suiting up in the orange and green is rightfully treated as a cheer-worthy moment, while Mera and Orm's own duds look suitably accurate to the comic book source material. Rupert Gregson-Williams' score is full of sweeping themes and ear-catching melodies, adding a properly grand feeling. As a final display of the sincerity with which it approaches the characters, the end credits are accompanied by a nineties-style love ballad written specifically for the film. Obviously, I'm unusually fond of this particular strain of bullshit. Considering how little respect Aquaman usually gets as a character, his big movie only being a little self-reflectively dumb might have been a best case scenario. By no means rising above the standards of the genre, it's still a joyfully silly two hours and twenty-three minutes. Any movie that casts Julie Andrews as a sea monster is having too much fun to ultimately denied. That the public ate it up is all the more delightful to me. The “Aquaman” movie pleased this long-time fan while also making this particular corner of the DC universe appealing to a wide audience. It also beat that other aquatic superhero to the big screen by four years, once again solidifying Aquaman as the preferred deep sea defender by the public at large. [Grade: B+]

NO ENCORES: Johnny Mnemonic (1995)

1. Johnny Mnemonic (1995)
Director: Robert Longo

Here in 2019, the genre of cyberpunk is having something of a moment. This is, after all, the year “Blade Runner” and “Akira” were prophecized to take place in. There’s a hotly anticipated video game with the word right in its title coming soon. While big budget releases like “Blade Runner 2099” and “Alita: Battle Angel” haven’t exactly set the box office on fire, they have found passionate fan followings. The last time mainstream studios showed this much interest in cyberpunk was around 1995, when “Johnny Mnemonic” hit theater screens. The film was scripted by William Gibson, father of cyberpunk, and directed by artist and music video creator Robert Longo, making his feature film debut. The film was primed to be a blockbuster, with a 30 million dollar budget and a prime May release date. It was accompanied by tie-ins like a video game, a pinball machine, and an early attempt at internet viral marketing. The film, re-edited at the last minute to be more mainstream, failed at the American box office but was more successful internationally. The experience was so negative that Longo would retire from filmmaking all together.

The film is set in the dystopian future of 2021. (We have a lot of catching up to do in the next two years.) Cities have become burnt-out slums. Mega corporations rule the world. A debilitating virus known as NAS - neuron attenuation syndrome - is ravaging the public. Here we meet Johnny, a mnemonic courier. That’s someone with a hard drive built into their brain, used to discreetly transport hypersensitive information. The latest info dumped into Johnny’s brain is so valuable that many people are ready to kill him to prevent it from getting out. Teaming up with a NAS-afflicted bodyguard named Jane, Johnny goes on the run.

Like a lot of cyberpunk fiction, “Johnny Mnemonic” creates a compelling world to tell its story in. There’s a lot of details quickly presented to viewers here. Aside from concepts like NAS or mnemonic couriers, there’s also details like the Lo-Teks - rebels fighting the power - or PharmaKom - the big drug corporation - to learn about quickly. This world has its own lingo, fashion, drugs, and music. It’s a colorful future, full of casual cyborgs, transgender bodyguards, and super-hacker dolphins. The various rules of operating as a mnemonic courier is quickly prattled at us. These are all concepts that display a lot of imagination. The film’s stellar production design is up to the challenge presented by these concepts, creating a world that’s interesting to look at and inhabit.

While “Johnny Mnemonic’s” world is compelling, that doesn’t mean its story is especially coherent. The script strikes me as hopelessly overstuffed. The film bombards viewers with information but it still isn't enough to clarify everything happening in the story. Character introductions are rushed and blunt, leaving the audience with few ideas of who these people are or what they want. For example, the information that the executive of PharmaKom, played by wildly popular Japanese performer Takeshi Kitano, recently lost a daughter is dumped on us in the most awkward way possible. How the Lo-Teks and other factions weave in and out of the story is unwieldy. There's enough lore and backstory here to occupied a 13 episode anime. Instead of cutting anything, the film just shoves it all in. I'd place some of the blame on Gibson, more accustomed to writing novels than screenplays, but he claims the finished film doesn't resemble his script much. Granted, I watched the 96-minute long American cut of the film. The Japanese cut runs six minutes longer, is supposedly closer to Longo and Gibson’s original vision. Yet its hard to imagine those six minutes flesh things out that much.

More recently, the internet has really come around on Keanu Reeves. We've realized that, even if he certainly has his limitations as an actor, he's still a truly lovable performer. Moreover, he has gotten better with age. Compare his slick, quiet, intimidating performance in the “John Wick” films with his work here. As Johnny Mnemonic, Reaves comes off as somewhat petulant. He plays the part as a stiff jerk throughout most of the film. This may not be Keanu’s fault. Though the script depicts the character as learning to care about more than just himself, that isn’t really conveyed through his actions. However, we do still get occasional glimpses of what an appealing performer Reeves can be. Such as the effortless cool he summons up as Johnny assembles a hacking apparatus. Or during a delightfully over-the-top monologue, where Johnny describes what he feels he’s owed. This shows that Keanu is not a bad actor but a highly entertaining one rarely well-served by Hollywood.

The film does assemble a colorful collection of actors to fill its eccentric world. Such as Udo Kier, who appears as a perfectly sleazier middleman for Johnny, doing his typical Udo-Kier-thing, adding a layer of delicious camp to his scenes. Dolph Lundgren gets second billing but wouldn’t appear in another theatrically released film for fifteen years. Dolph brings his particular delivery to the role of a cyborg street preacher who moonlights as a vicious contract killer, given plenty of chances to deliver campy sermons and be physically intimidating. Ice-T shows up as the leader of the Lo-Teks, bringing the same decent tough guy hustle he showed in the same year’s aesthetically similar “Tank Girl.” Henry Rollins tries out dorkiness and empathy as an underground doctor to some success. Beat Takashi attempts to bring some stoic pathos to an underwritten part. Really, the only weak link in the cast is Dina Meyer, in her film debut. She seems baffled by the film despite playing the secondary lead.

Another thing that’s appealing about “Johnny Mnemonic” was totally unintended by the filmmakers. What once seemed like a high-tech vision of the future is laughably antiquated. The information Johnny carries in his brain hard drive, that is so taxing for his body to contain... is 230 gigabytes. Roughly the storage equivalent of an XBox 360. The film hits most of the laughable predictions of what people thought the future would look like in the nineties. Techno music is everywhere. MiniDisc is a cutting edge storage format. VR headsets are widely used, though not a single game of Beat Saber is played. Naturally, this leads to several garish virtual reality sequences. As much fun as the movie’s way off-base future is, those CGI scenes still look like shit. The climax, where Johnny enters the digital world to best an anti-virus program, is utterly impossible to follow.

Gibson and Longo originally envisioned “Johnny Mnemonic” as a low budget art film. They couldn’t get it funded in that form, forcing the transformation into a big budget action film. Yet it’s very clear that action is not really where Longo’s passion resided. There’s cool ideas here, like the villain utilizing a laser beam garrote to quickly dismember people. Yet the action scenes are not clearly directed. Dead bodies fly into frame suddenly. Most of the big fight scenes take place in blurry close-ups or far off wide shots. And, sometimes, big explosions are randomly inserted into the film. Dolph’s big bad guy is disposed through a very unclear manner. It’s not fair to blame Longo for these oversights, as I’m sure some of this stuff is the result of studio interference, but you can also tell action scenes were not his forte.

With its difficult to follow story, “Johnny Mnemonic” is best experienced if you just let it wash over you. As a delivery system for ridiculous characters, goofy visuals, and neat production design, it’s fairly entertaining. It is clear that this outcome fell short of Gibson and Longo’s vision. (Though I am curious if that Japanese cut is a significantly stronger film.) I can’t blame the guy for deciding movie making wasn’t for him after the difficult production. Of course, we all know that Keanu would eventually star in a successful cyberpunk action film loosely adapted from William Gibson’s writing, albeit in an unofficial capacity. As a campier prototype for “The Matrix,” “Johnny Mnemonic” does have its moments, even if it’s tricky for me to fully recommend it. [6.5/10]

THE SYLVESTER SEMESTER PART II: Rocky IV (1985)

It’s hard to believe that Sylvester Stallone once envisioned “Rocky” as simply a three part story. The continued box office success of the boxing series, and Stallone’s inescapable connection with the character, meant Rocky would have many more matches. “Rocky III” saw the series graduate from naturalistic drama to theatrical action flick. “Rocky IV” would push the series even further in that direction. In the process, Sly would make the most notorious of the “Rocky” films, cementing the series’ somewhat unearned status as a campy relic of the Cold War era.

Rocky Balboa is happily retired from boxing, enjoying his millions with his wife, kid, and heterosexual life partners Pauley and Apollo Creed. Meanwhile, a challenger emerges from the Soviet Union. Ivan Drago is a result of Soviet engineering, the perfect boxing machine. Wanting to prove that he’s still got it, Apollo Creed agrees to an exhibition fight with Drago. During the bout, Drago beats Creed to death. Feeling responsible for his friend’s demise, Rocky agrees to face Ivan Drago in the ring. Will a rigorous training regime be enough for Rocky to defeat the towering titan of Soviet power?

“Rocky IV” was released the same year as “Rambo: First Blood Part II,” a film which put Sylvester Stallone’s Cold War politics out in the open. Inspired by the legendary Joe Louis vs. Max Schmeling matches, Stallone thought up an unlikely scenario where Rocky would battle a representation of the U.S.S.R. For Stallone though, the struggle between democracy and Communism is indistinguishable from personal revenge. In “First Blood Part II,” the death of Co spurns on Rambo’s war against the Vietnamese. In “Rocky IV,” the death of Apollo Creed forces Rocky to face down Ivan Drago. This notion props up a blatantly, gratuitously jingoistic script, where Rocky’s goodness stands against the evils of the Soviet Union. His brave effort even, eventually, wins over the Russians.

Making “Rocky IV” even harder to swallow is how the film is easily the goofiest of the “Rocky” series. Within the opening minutes, Rocky presents Paulie with a birthday present: A robot. A robot which Paulie then programs to have a female personality, which raises some interesting questions. This is only the most obvious ridiculous element of the film. Apollo Creed rides into the ring atop a giant transforming golden calf. Simultaneously, James Brown sings a rousing rendition of “Living in America.” After Apollo’s death, we’re treated to a ten minute long montage of Rocky driving in his car, while flashing back extensively to the previous movies. Insanity like this makes the movie’s other silliness seem more manageable. In a world where Paulie has a robot, the montage comparing Rocky’s all natural training regime to Drago’s steroid and machine assisted training seem subtle. It makes Rocky winning over all of the Soviet Union seem plausible.

Stallone spent most of “Rambo” as a grim-faced killing machine until the final minutes, when he delivered a speech summing up the movie’s themes. This was in contrast to the humanistic qualities he displayed during his three previous bouts as Rocky Balboa. “Rocky IV” sees Sly’s other trademark character undergoing some big changes. Rocky was previously a mushed mouth simpleton. He spoke from the heart because he didn’t know any other way to say things. In “Rocky IV,” the Italian Stallion has suddenly developed a verbose side. While debating with his wife about whether or not he should fight Drago, he expounds on his side of things. (Compare this to the similar debate in “Rocky II” to show how far Balboa’s come.) After defeating Drago and winning over the evil Communists, he delivers a long speech about how anybody can change. It’s clear that Rocky can change too.

Along with the series’ general content, the villains of the “Rocky” films have gotten increasingly outrageous. Apollo Creed was just a braggart and a showman. Clubber Lang was psychotically obsessed with beating Rocky. Ivan Drago is a full-blown supervillain. We know nothing about his life other then he’s been created by the Russians to show Soviet superiority. Drago is played by Dolph Lundgren, in his first major role. At 6’5, heavily muscled, and featuring an exact Aryan appearance, Dolph perfectly inhabits the part. What makes Drago kind of interesting is his odd vulnerability. He seems frightened when asked about possible steroid abuse. When ushered into the ring with Apollo, his body language is clearly confused. After Rocky puts up more of a fight then expected, he breaks character, informing his managers that he fights for himself. Lundgren’s actin abilities rarely get praised but he does well here, playing an unstoppable juggernaut but allowing some humanity to show through.

You know what I miss the most about eighties action movies? Their economical pacing. “Rocky IV” runs a manageable 91 minutes. Its script construction is clear and concise. Once Drago beats Apollo to death, it’s not too long before Rocky is training, before we get to the fight. Stallone, naturally, also wrote and directed the film. The fight scene shows the way his directorial style has evolved. During the match, he continues to utilize slow motion and dramatic montages. An especially effective moment has both fighters being punched in the face, each face lingering in the frame. It’s still fairly ridiculous that someone of Rocky’s size could defeat Drago. (More so, once you read that a single punch from Dolph put Stallone in the hospital.) Still, that’s the magic of movies.

In addition to being jingoistic and ridiculous, “Rocky IV” is also blatantly derivative of “Rocky III.” In both, a powerful new adversary kills Rocky’s mentor, forcing him to come out of retirement to fight for revenge. In both, a powerful new training regiment leads Rocky to victory. Formula, sometimes, works. “Rocky IV” would become the highest grossing entry in the series and, thanks to its sheer goofiness, would develop a fond cult following. I think I love three a little more but four is certainly a massively entertaining flick. [7/10]

[THE STALLOWNAGE OF SLY: 4 outta 5]
[X] Frank Stallone or Frank Stallone-esque Inspirational Music
[X] Incapacitates or Kills Someone With His Body
[X] Shows Off Buffness
[] Social Outcast
[X] Sweaty, Veiny Yelling

JCVD-A-THON: Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (2012)

Damn, who would’ve thought “Universal Soldier” would be such a long-lived franchise? As I’ve said before, it’s not like the original is some universally beloved, unassailable classic or anything. After “Universal Soldier: Regeneration” became a minor sensation among genre film fans, suddenly the idea of a sixth “Universal Soldier” movie didn’t seem unappealing at all. Director John Hyams, Van Damme, and Dolph all returned for “Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning.” The sequel also added Scott Adkins, more-or-less the modern equivalent of what Van Damme was in the late eighties. “Day of Reckoning” would push the surprisingly long-running series into a totally new direction. That change of tone made the film divisive but it won some rave reviews, quickly garnering a following even larger then what “Regeneration” gained.

Everyman John is awoken in the middle of the night but his young daughter, who thinks there are monsters in the house. She’s right. Three men in black masks beat John bloody before dragging his wife and daughter down stairs. Before killing them both, the leader reveals himself to John as Luc Deveraux, Universal Soldier and former hero. After awaking in a hospital bed, John suffers from confusion and warped memories. He’s also determined to track down the man that murdered his family. This path puts him into a bloody confrontation with a cult of deprogrammed Universal Soldiers, led by Deveraux, waging a guerilla war against the U.S. government. Yet everything is not what it seems, not even John’s own desires.

“Day of Reckoning” has few connections to the previous “Universal Soldier” films. Aside from a wildly different interpretation of Luc Deveraux, Lundgren’s Andrew Scott, and the concept of government created super soldiers, the story is totally unrelated. In truth, the film is more of a psychologically tinged horror/thriller then a proper action flick. The hero is doggedly pursued by an unstoppable villain, who dispatches enemies in very violent ways. This isn’t unlike a slasher flick and, until Scott Adkins begins fighting back around the half-way point, “Day of Reckoning” feels more horrific then action-y. The themes of memories, identity, and manipulation were probably influenced by David Lynch films like “Lost Highway” and “Muholland Dr.” Deveraux’s brainwashed cult of soldiers and their swampland hideout were intentionally modeled after Kurtz’ jungle stronghold in “Apocalypse Now.” Mostly, the film’s dark, downbeat tone is wildly different then the popcorn fun of the original “Universal Soldier” and its 1999 follow-up.

Another element that pushes “Day of Reckoning” to the edge of horror is its brutal violence. From its opening minutes, it’s incredibly bloody. The first scene is shot from Adkins’ perspective, disoriented and blinking to replicate someone suddenly awoken in the middle of the night. His face is beaten raw with a tire iron. Each head shot leaves a dripping splatter of grey matter on the walls. When a UniSol attacks a brothel, gaping holes are blown in people, victims are blasted across the room, and the walls are painted red. Faces are shattered into pulp, skull and brains tossed into the air, with gunfire and even a baseball bat. Hands and feet are cleaved in half with an axe. Skin is slashed with a machete. Limbs are twisted apart and an eighteen inch long blade is driven through someone’s head. By the end, Scott Adkins is covered head to toe in gore. “Day of Reckoning” is as bloody as the best latter day horror film and utilizes its violence just as dynamically.

While tossing a shit ton of fake blood into the air, “Day of Reckoning” also provides a display for the skills of its leading men. Andrei Arlovski returns from “Regeneration” as the most homicidal of the super soldiers. The scuffle between Arlovski and Adkins in a cramped hotel room is exciting. So is the car chase that climaxes with a Jeep spinning three times through the air. However, the first proper fight between Adkins and Arlovski overshadows them both. The two men wrestle through a sporting goods store. They toss each other through shelves and wield baseball bats like bo staffs. Adkins’ incredibly acrobatic skills are shown off, when he does a spinning back flip into his opponent’s face. The climax of the film has Adkins rampaging through the UniSol base, tearing each of the henchmen apart with bullets and blades. Hyam shoots the scene in a series of long shots, creating a hypnotic swirl of violence and fantastically choreographed action. Adkins’ fights with Lundgren and Van Damme truthfully pale in comparison, even if both feature a lot of flipping, kicking, and brutal contact.

“Regeneration” managed to find an interesting moral about the way governments misuse their soldiers. “Day of Reckoning” has some even heavier themes on its mind. Throughout the course of the film, John discovers that he’s actually a clone of one of Deveraux’s men. Later on, he learns that his family was never real and that his memories of them were implant in his head by – you guessed it – the government. Even after taking out the bad guys, John continues to discover yet more manipulation in his life. His masterful massacre of the rogue UniSols was also planned. The same people who put the false memories in his head also hoped he’d exterminate the renegades. These story turns keep the audience guessing and sometimes threatens to spin the film in a convoluted direction. If these themes and ideas solidify into a coherent whole – beyond “Don’t trust the government,” I guess – I’m not sure how. Yet it’s certainly far more ambitious then you’d expect from the fifth sequel to a barely remembered nineties action flick.

I knew going into this one that it was mostly a display for Adkins and Arlovski’s talents. Adkins is an extremely talented martial artist. The film gives him several opportunities to show off his aerial kicks and tumbling dives. Adkins is also a decent actor, mining okay pathos from John’s loss and anger. Arlovski suffices at playing an inhuman murder machine but neither this film nor the previous “UniSol” story provided chances for anything more. If you’re expecting a lot of Van Damme or Lundgren, you might be disappointed. Their scenes count though. Dolph gets to deliver two insane monologues, something he’s gotten increasingly good at. Van Damme isn’t Marlon Brando, even if his shaved head is obviously meant to recall him. His face slathered in black and white war paint, like a voodoo houngan, is certainly a memorable image. Van Damme’s performance seems halfway between a nihilistic philosopher and a tired soldier. Which is appropriate, and effectively sinister, even if I would’ve perhaps preferred something more colorful.

“Day of Reckoning” does feel a bit like an original screenplay that was hastily retrofitted for the “UniSol” franchise. The film won’t win any awards for its representation of women. Adkins’ love interest provides little to the story and is forgotten by the end. Most of the film’s women are either strippers or prostitutes and usually wind up graphically murdered. I can see why the story’s bleak tone and extreme content turned some people off. “Day of Reckoning” is still a bold statement, featuring impressive action and an ambitious storyline. If another film is made – and Hyams has hinted at that – perhaps it could explore Van Damme’s character some more. What happened to Luc Deveraux to explain the changes between “Regeneration” and this film? Well, that's what I'd like to see anyway. [7/10]

[THE VAN DAMMAGE: 2 outta 5]
[] An Entire Fight, Sans Shirt
[] Close-Up Screaming
[] Dancing
[X] Jump-Kicks A Guy, Through Something
[X] Performs Either a Split or a Spinning Roundhouse Kick

JCVD-A-THON: Universal Soldier: Regeneration (2009)

I don’t think many people cared about the “Universal Soldier” franchise before 2009. The original was occasionally recalled fondly as an above-average Van Damme vehicle and a fairly entertaining popcorn flick. Nobody gave a shit about any of the previous sequels. That all changed with “Universal Soldier: Regeneration.” Following “JCVD” and “The Expendables,” Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren were the most relevant they had been in years. The son of previous Van Damme collaborator, Peter Hyam, director John Hyam had made his name with documentaries about MMA. Hyam would bring that same intensity and urgency to this film. Despite being a direct-to-video fourth sequel to a barely remembered nineties movie, “Universal Soldier: Regeneration” quickly gained fans.

Ignoring all prior “UniSol” sequels, “Regeneration” brings the misbegotten franchise into the modern day. The children of the Russian Prime Minister are kidnapped by an even more deadly, new model of Universal Soldier. Procured by a rogue scientist, the NextGen UniSol is working with Ukrainian terrorists, whose base of operation is inside the ruins of Chernobyl. The U.S. army tries to retrieve the children but the super soldier makes quick work of all of them. With few other options, Luc Deveraux is recruited. However, Deveraux has a serious case of PTSD and, with the help of a therapist, has slowly been reentering normal society. Will the formerly great UniSol be able to stand up to the new model, especially when an old enemy also enters the fray?

Minutes after beginning, “Regeneration” leads with extremely brutal, bloody action. The opening scene is devoted to the girl being abducted by the bad guys. The bullets hit extremely hard, blood spurting from every wound, splattering on glass and chrome. Vehicles crash, the metal twisting and the tires shrieking. After that mission, the NGU’s broken arms and scourged skin are treated in a cold, scientific manner. When Luc Deveraux is finally unleashed in the film’s final act, Van Damme cleaves through a small army with a knife. The arterial spray flies freely and, while the stab wounds are occasionally lingered on, the focus is on brutal and bloody efficiency. The hardest hits are reserved for the man-on-man melees. Van Damme and Dolph’s duel has the two titans tossed through windows, shelves, walls and tables. After diving thirty feet out a building, the fight concludes with a metal pipe through the forehead and a shotgun to the brain. Deveraux’s final fight with the NGU is no less vicious, as it features an even higher fall, harsher kicks and punches, and an explosion making mince meat of a grown man. It’s awesome.

The action scenes just aren’t intense in content. Hyam’s direction is kinetic but smooth. The car chase, for example, has a fabulous sense of motion. The camera rolls along with the vehicles, as bullets shatter the glass and the cars smash into each other. Despite all the chaos going on, Hyam’s hand remains steady. The action scenes are characterized by slickly edited, longish shots. Such as when Van Damme runs into battle, blowing away bad guys and effortlessly dodging explosions. A sequence that practically feels like a horror movie is devoted to the NGU stalking the other soldiers, cornering them and dispatching them with a retractable wrist-blade. Even a smaller moment, such as when Mike Pyle’s hero sneaks into Chernobyl and quietly disarms some enemies, has a fluidness to the action. “Universal Soldier: Regeneration” is not just hard hitting but is cleanly and stylishly directed.

The previous “Universal Soldier” movies were not exactly the type of movies to feature smart, insightful subtext. The original had the thinnest wisp of a point about the military establishment making normal people into inhuman killing machines. “Regeneration” runs with this, taking the theme much further. When Devereux is first introduced, he’s the spitting image of a shell-shocked soldier. He’s quiet, withdrawn, on medication, yet still prone to violent outbursts. When the government decides it needs him, they break into his home and drag him off. Luc is dropped onto a treadmill, pumped full of drugs, tossed into training, and back on the battlefield in hours. They don’t care about his well-being. The movie’s final image makes this point even more abundantly clear. The war machine rolls on, using up good men. In the world of “Universal Soldier,” even death can’t keep the government from exploiting its soldiers.

“Regeneration” is a strong film but it has one serious flaw. The story is seemingly without a primary protagonist. Van Damme’s Devereux is obviously the hero we want to root for but he’s on the sidelines until nearly the end of the movie. Andrei Arlovski, a MMA fighter of some renown who is credited as “The Pitbull,” plays the NGU and gets top-billing. Arlovski is physically intimidating and does well in the part but the villain intentionally has no personality. Which leaves Mike Pyle, another professional fighter, as Captain Kevin Burke. Burke is the most morally ethical of the characters, leads the various failed military charges, and helps save the hostages. Despite that, he exits the film well before the end and, truthfully, only has a handful of scenes to himself. Without a solid lead character for the audience to focus on, “Regeneration” ends up sometimes feeling like nothing but a series of (beautifully orchestrated) action scenes.

It almost feels like the film was written with Pyle as the main hero and Arlovski as the primary villain, the producers assuming Van Damme and Lundgren wouldn’t return. I have no proof of this but I suspect that Jean-Claude and Dolph’s insertion into the movie was the result of a quickie rewrite. Whatever the reason, the film is better because of their participation. The tired, worn-out quality on Van Damme’s face adds another sad dimension to Deveraux. By the film’s end, he is sadly resigned to his role in life. A nice touch is Van Damme closing his eyes during a brief moment of quiet, as if he’s a warrior monk centering himself before striking again. Arlovski is a pretty great villain but Dolph brings some perverse fun to the film. As in the original, Andrew Scott is unhinged from the moment he appears. Before crushing the mad scientist’s head with his bare hands, Dolph turns a previous line of dialogue against him. The casual way he decides to murder a pair of children is equally chilling and morbidly funny. These action stars may be pushing retirement age but “Universal Soldier: Regeneration” makes it clear that they can still kick some serious ass.

“Universal Soldier: Regeneration” may not have the sturdiest script but, as far as break-neck action goes, it delivers in spades. It’s not a dumb movie either, with some real ideas on its mind. The film is another proud addition to the line of alt-action flicks, providing hard-hitting alternatives to the CGI-filled spectacles of Hollywood, that also includes “The Raid” and the films of Isaac Florentine. And who would’ve expected that from the fifth film in a series most people probably don’t even remember? [8/10]

[THE VAN DAMMAGE: 3 outta 5]
[] An Entire Fight, Sans Shirt
[X] Close-Up Screaming
[] Dancing
[X] Jump-Kicks A Guy, Through Something
[X] Performs Either a Split or a Spinning Roundhouse Kick