Halloween 2019: October 17th

The Haunting (1963)

Why does the idea of the haunted house obsess mankind so? I'm not talking about ghosts. Everyone knows ghosts are such an enduring idea because they confront us with the concept of death while proving existence goes on after it. I'm referring specifically to the thought of a home, cursed by a malevolent presence. Maybe buildings and homes are objects so wrought with emotional association that the idea of never leaving it, even after we die, is appealing. Whatever the reason, haunted houses are at least as old as ancient Greece and the premise resonates deeply through the horror genre. Among the most respected haunted house stories is Shirley Jackson's “The Haunting of Hill House.” In 1963, Robert Wise turned the book into one of the most respected ghost movies of all time.

The most extraordinary thing about “The Haunting” is how it brings Hill House to life. We first see Hill House as a series of dark spires jaunting into the night sky. Long stretches of the film are devoted to merely observing the shadowy hallways of the building. It's observed later that the interior architecture of Hill House is slightly askew in every room, making the entire building off. However, it's unnecessary to point that out, as the audience can already feel something innately wrong in the building. As we learn Hill House's history in the opening scene, we see tragedy, madness, and despair play out in the darkened and twisted rooms. So much tragedy that the building itself eventually becomes a pulsating heart of insanity. Robert Wise's direction is intimate and expressionistic, drawing more attention to the disturbing world that is Hill House.

There's a reason Hill House feels so twisted and wrong. The echoing chambers represent the equally unsound minds of the people who lived there. And no mind in “The Haunting” is more ill-at-ease than Eleanor Lance's. Forced to care for a sickly mother her entire life, her mom's death has done little to ease her suffering. She's still taunted by the rest of her family. As soon as she sets foot in Hill House, something within its wall has eyes on her. And though unseen spirits terrify her, Eleanor still relishes the freedom coming to Hill House has given her. But the trauma of her life has left her short-tempered, prone to angry outbursts, and overly sensitive. No wonder a place for madness like Hill House calls to her so.

As a horror movie, “The Haunting” is characterized by two modes. There are long dialogue-driven scenes, the characters discussing the history of the building, the nature of its haunting, their own history, and whether or not the supernatural exists. While it's certainly interesting to listen to this, “The Haunting” works a lot better when it goes for the throat. There's a lot of fantastically scary scenes here. As Theo and Eleanor recline in their shared room, horrible noise pounds on the wall around them. Later, the patterns on the wall seem to stare at Eleanor as she hears more disturbing noises from inside the house. That scene ends on an especially chilling note. It all builds towards a moment of escalating suspense in the last act, based around a rickety spiral staircase. The direction here is surprisingly visceral, as the camera will often swoop and zoom in on faces and locations within the house.

“The Haunting” is further elevated by its extraordinary cast. Julie Harris so perfectly inhabits the role of Eleanor, a woman slowly being torn apart by her neurosis. One minute, she's almost child-like in her glee. The next she is seemingly on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Harris makes all these changes seem natural. Claire Bloom is similarly electric as Theo, a woman who approaches life with a certain upbeat energy. Yet even she finds her nerves tested by Hill House, which Bloom also excellently conveys. Richard Johnson is the voice of stern, welcoming authority as Dr. Markway, the scientist leading the expedition into Hill House. Russ Tamblyn, meanwhile, is something like the film's comic relief. Luke is only interested in the money he can make from Hill House, at least at first. It's the kind of youthful and sardonic performance Tamblyn specialized in at the time.

The first time I saw “The Haunting,” it totally sucked me in. Upon this rewatch, on Blu-Ray, it didn't work for me quite as well. This time, I found the repeated use of voice-over narration to be distracting. Sometimes, the characters' actions come off as a little mean-spirited in a way that bugged me slightly. Still, there's no denying that “The Haunting” is one of the most effective ghost stories ever put to film, largely thanks to the brilliant production design and direction. Jackson's novel would also spawn a big, loud, and extremely dumb remake in 1999 and, more recently, a critically acclaimed Netflix series that I swear I'll get around to watching eventually. [8/10]

The Lost (2006)

By the end of the last decade, America was finally ready for Jack Ketchum. Ketchum's intense and punishing novels – which frequently straddle the line between horror, splatterpunk, and true crime – had been shocking and compelling fans since the early eighties. However, after years of critical acclaim and cult popularity, paperbacks of his work started to crop up in big bookstore chains and even places like Wal-Mart, usually with a rave from Stephen King on the cover. Around the same time, and this is probably correlated, film adaptations of Ketchum's work started to be made. The first to be filmed was “The Lost.” I heard about the movie through my fandom of Lucky McKee. McKee – who would later work directly with Jack – produced the movie, which was directed by his buddy Chris Siverston. I scooped up the book while the movie was still in looking-for-distribution limbo and immediately became a fan of Mr. Ketchum's harsh but rewarding work.

The movie closely follows the novel, which was inspired by spree killer Charles Schmid. While out camping with his girlfriend Jennifer and their mutual friend Tim, would-be ladies man Ray Pye spies a pair of women on a trip together. He assumes them to be lesbians and, acting spontaneously, shoots both to death. He swears Jennifer and Tim to secrecy. Four years pass. While Ray was the prime suspect in the killings, he's never been arrested. Instead, he continues to pursue women, do drugs, and manipulate his friends. But it's only a matter of time before Ray snaps and kills again.

Ketchum's novel was the definition of a slow-burn. Ray Pye commits a horrible murder within the first couple pages. The reader spends the rest of the book reading about his fuse slowly burning up, waiting in suspense until the bloodshed begins again. It was a delicate balancing act. That the literally “Lost” works so well is a testament to Ketchum's abilities as a writer. The cinematic “Lost” can't quite pull off the same trick. It nails the suddenness, and the senselessness, of the opening murders. However, you don't feel the same level of tension in the scenes that follow. Watching Ray's wheels slowly turn towards homicide again involves watching him do drugs, fuck random girls, and generally act like an asshole. The scenes from the book that fleshed out his future victims, such as a love affair between a younger girl and a much older man (Ed Lautner, making his second appearance this Six Weeks after playing the bad guy in “Under Wraps”), do not feel as compelling here. While the performances are strong, especially Marc Senter as Ray, the cinematic “Lost” just feels a bit tedious at times.

And once that climatic rampage begins, you have other questions. “The Lost” is clearly a movie about toxic masculinity. Ray is serially full of shit. He crams crumpled up beer cans into his boots to make himself look taller. He attributes the resulting funny walk to a mafia-related injury, obviously a nonsensical story. He draws on a beauty mark and talks about a band we never actually see him play in. He lords over his friends and women especially. When his dominance is questioned, he responds with anger and violence. And he saves the worst of that for the females in his life. A series of romantic rejections, especially from a girl he failed to perform sexually with, is what spurns the climatic tidal wave of violence. The last third of the film has him abducting the women he feels have wronged him, subjecting them to a barrage of abusive language before killing most of them in sudden, gory ways. It's an intense sequence, the violence growing bloodier and more intense as further innocents are drawn into it. Senter's performance gets more unhinged, as Pye supplements his madness with cocaine. “The Lost” ends in a hail of gun fire, blood, and demented screaming.

The question must be asked: Is “The Lost's” insight into misogyny worth it? Or is this just an empty act of shock value? Well, it's competently directed. Chris Siverton's visual style is gritty and involving. Sometimes, Sivertson is a little too impressed with himself, with flashy tricks like additional grit, fast-paced montages, and jittery photo-tricks. (The film also leans on its soundtrack too much.) The climax grows increasingly unpleasant, the viewer growing nervous waiting to see how far the story will go. However, “The Lost” also luxuriates in Ray's depravity a little too much. There's even something like a dark sense of humor as Pye murders his mother or shrugs off a serious blow to his face. Is this intensity enough to justify such unpleasant violence, especially when it's so laser-targeted towards women? I probably would've said “sure” at one point but, nowadays... I don't know, man. I just don't know.

The book, by the way, didn't have this problem so much. Ketchum's “The Lost” was a more effective snapshot of a true crime, capturing a specific era and fleshing out the victims more. (The book is explicitly set in the late sixties and early seventies. The film's setting is much more vague, as the phones are all cordless.) Despite its flaws, “The Lost's” intensity nearly launched Chris Sivertson to bigger, better things. The end credits promised his next movie to be “Hippy,” an acid trip-motivated slasher flick. Instead, Siverston made “I Know Who Killed Me” next which basically undid any of the good will from his first feature. And now, re-watching “The Lost” in 2019, when sexist rampages by incels are everyday news, the film plays much more differently. [6/10]

Tales from the Cryptkeeper: Competitive Spirit

Here it is you guys, the very last episode of 'Tales from the Cryptkeeper.” “Competitive Spirit” follows a middle school ski team, who are traveling into the snowy mountains for a competition. Vincent is determined to win and will do anything to give himself an advantage. He attempts to psyche his friends out with a ghost story. According to Vincent's tale, a mountain climber once left his friend to die in order to become the first person to reach the summit. Now the spirit of that friend still roams the mountains, seeking revenge on anyone who gets in his way. It's just a bullshit story, designed to scare the others, but Vincent himself soon comes face-to-face with this icy ghost.

I don't have too much to say about 'Competitive Spirit.” It's really dumb that Vincent's own ghost story illustrates the episode's moral – there are more important things than winning – when he himself seems unaware of that lesson. That the ghost wears lederhosen and still carries an ice axe is a funny visual gag. There's one genuinely clever touch to the story. The ghost can control other beings made of ice and snow, so the snowmen glimpsed throughout the episode become his servants. If this wasn't such a cheaply animated, obviously written kid's show, the sequence of Vincent being stalked through the snow by the ghost might've been a little intense. But, once again, “Tales from the Cryptkeeper” committing so totally to teaching its viewer a lesson drains it of much suspense. [5/10]

After being resurrected for a third season, “Tales from the Cryptkeeper” would not rise from the grave again. The next year, CBS would just start showing Nick Jr. re-runs on Saturday morning anyway. As for my overall opinion on “Tales from the Cryptkeeper?” The first season was kind of fun. Not every episode was a winner but, when it was at its best, it was an entertaining kid-friendly extension of the E.C. Comics brand. The story themselves remained around that quality in season two but the addition of the Vaultkeeper and the Old Witch to the host segments made the show more irritating to watch. And the third season was just an embarrassing fiasco that I've already devoted too many words too. (It says a lot that the first two seasons got DVD releases, while the third has not, save a few episodes.) But, hey, at least I have now consumed nearly everything “Tales from the Crypt”-related that has aired on television. Believe me, the only thing keeping me from reviewing the game show is its total unavailability.

Critters: A New Binge: No Eating

A few years back, I reviewed all of the “Critters” movies. Despite having a small fan-following, it was widely assumed that “Critters 4” would always be the end of the series. It's not like the world was calling out for more “Gremlins” rip-offs in 2019. Yet, strangely, forces have been conspiring to resurrect the Crites for quite some time. In 2014, Warner Brothers had a stake in Direct-TV's streaming service. Looking through their library of titles, they somehow touched upon “Critters” as an I.P. that could be exploited by this new network. The team behind “Zombeavers” would produce “Critters: A New Beige,” a mini-series made up of eight ten minute long shorts. However, Direct-TV's digital platform would go belly-up before “A New Binge” could air, leaving the mini-series' fate in doubt. Finally, earlier this year, Shudder would rescue “A New Binge” so it could be enjoyed by whoever the weirdos who still remember the “Critters” movies are.

The first episode of “A New Binge,” “No Eating,” introduces us to a motley team of Crites. They are assigned a mission to Earth to uncover a Crite that disappeared there years before. They are pursued by a pair of shape-shifting bounty hunters, who get shot down and land in the Australian outback. The critters are instructed not to eat anyone while on Earth but quickly loose control, devouring the animals inside a vet's office. The aftermath of their gory snack is discovered by a trio of high school students: The nerdy Christopher, his crush Dana, and their friend Charlie.

“No Eating” is fairly crude. Several scenes were obviously shot on green-screens. While the Crite puppets look pretty good, the rest of the special effects leave a lot to be desired. However, I did enjoy the goofiness of this first episode. There's a (rather hypocritical) potshot at Syfy Channel movies in the first scene. I like that the Critters have been given individual costumes here. The trio of teens already seem like they might be endearing characters. Listening to “Flower's” Joey Morgan and Bzhaun Rhoden riff on dog poop and hot dog fingers is mildly amusing. Whether the series can keep up this kind of breezy silliness for seven more episodes remains to be seen just yet but “A New Binge” gets off to an okay start. [7/10]

Halloween 2019: October 16th

May (2002)

I'm not sure where I first heard about “May,” if it was online or in Fangoria. At the time, the qualities that would define horror in the new decade were just beginning to take shape, and I was on the look-out for anything that sounded fresh and new. “May” sounded interesting and, with my still relatively new Netflix membership, I ordered the DVD by-mail not long afterwards. I certainly wasn't prepared for the immediate emotional effect Lucky McKee's film would have on me. It immediately became the indie-horror flick I ranked all other indie horror flicks against. I inflicted the movie on many friends and girlfriends, many of whom failed to see the humor and grace in the story and were only grossed out by it. Slowly but surely, it became one of my favorite movies. I haven't reviewed “May” since the early days of the blog and I thought it was pass time for me to re-group my thoughts on a film that now ranks among my all-timers

May Canady is born with a lazy eye to a perfectionist mother. Friendless due to her condition, mom gives her Suzie, a porcelain doll who can never be removed from her glass case. May grows into a lonely, socially awkward 28 year old woman, working as a vet technician. Her lazy eye corrected by contacts, May begins to pursue her romantic obsessions. Such as Adam, a film-bro with handsome hands that May fixates on. Or Polly, a lesbian co-worker who constantly comes on to May. Neither relationship works out. As she suffers heartbreak after heartbreak, May's obsessions with finding perfect parts and making a friend slips into madness and murder.

“May” is probably the most accurate portrayal of the anxious mindset that I've ever seen. There's so many scenes here that I relate to on a personal level. May lives her life in a constant state of unease. She will nervously smile or glance in someone's direction, hoping that is enough to catch their eye, but ends up either ignored or rejected. She takes these minor interactions as huge, bruising blows. After her first semi-successful encounter with Adam, May stands in an elevator, recreating the event in her mind, acting out the next time in her head. More than anything else, perfectionism haunts May. Before calling Adam, she'll run through what she plans to say on the phone. As she switches a word or mis-speaks, she physically flinches, hating that she can do something this simple correctly. Hating that she can't be normal. The constant barrage of pestering thoughts, of hateful feelings, are represent by the crackling sound of the cracking glass of Suzie's case, which May has to shout out sometimes. Suzie is a symbol of perfection, untouchable and unmoving, that always haunts May.

Yet more than anything else, “May” is a movie defined by longing and loneliness. Because of her years of isolation, May has created a fantasy world she lives in, where she play-acts normal human interaction with her dolls. Where Suzie is constant companion whose penetrative glance – with two perfect blue eyes, it must be said – she both cherishes and resents. Her attempts to break out of that fantasy world and meet the people she longs for are difficult, to say the least. A key scene has her rubbing her face against Adam's outstretched hand while he sleeps, a simple fantasy of wanting to be touched, to be caressed. To be accepted. May's fantasies are humble. She repeats that the only thing she really wants is a friend. Yet May has been on her own so long that she hardly knows the first thing about being with other people. At best, her social interactions are destined to be awkward. At worst, they are disastrous.

May is ultimately a sensitive soul. Angela Bettis plays her as frequently child-like, fragile and jittering, posing in a play-act way with Suzie. Even if you aren't a similarly awkward weirdo like me, you probably feel the need to protect her. But “May” will run its titular character through the gamut of pain before it's over. The people May attaches herself to are not sensitive like her. Adam fetishizes quirkiness, a horror fan-boy who likes to think he's “weird.” But when he encounters someone genuinely weird like May, he's eventually put off and soon reveals himself as a philandering asshole guy. Polly, meanwhile, treats sex and romance like a game. She seduces May because she's bored and, despite her social awkwardness, the girl is attractive. When May catches Polly with another woman, she is stunned into silence. “May” puts us on its protagonist's side, portraying the people around her as insensitive to her unique needs and wants.

Maybe this doesn't sound like much of a horror movie but just wait. Director Lucky McKee's film is built upon the piercing of the flesh, of bloody and cut skin. May often wounds herself out of boredom, playing with a scalpel or cracking her hand on Suzie's case. Her job fills her head with surgical images of cut open bellies, sutures and stitches. McKee's film inevitably lurches towards graphic gore. Yet the splattery effects are secondarily disturbing to the tone of unnerving tension McKee engineers with shifting hallucinatory images and a sound design that gets under your skin. These two elements combine in a moment when a class of blind kids meets a floor covered with shattered glass. The physical pain of stabbed palms combine with the psychological pain May feels in that moment, her world shattering apart too.

The long build-up devoted to May's breakdown is the most absorbing parts of the film. Watching an actress as skilled as Bettis go through these steps, getting drawn into May's sad and broken world, is deeply compelling. In the last act, “May” becomes a slasher film of sorts, May enacting her revenge on those that have wronged her. (And sometimes some people unlucky enough to get in her path.) The bloody killings are certainly fantastically directed and beautifully orchestrated, McKee showing the previously mentioned debt he owes to Argento. May even assumes a persona of sorts as she goes about her killing, become emotionally attached. In its final moments, as May assembles her Frankensteinian perfect friend, McKee's film returns to more personal images. In the final beguiling moments, May accepts her own imperfection and the film ends on a beautifully sad moment of dream-like connection, of judgment-free love.

I could probably find another one hundred things to say about “May.” I haven't even touched upon the movie's endearingly goofy humor, its wonderfully atmospheric Halloween setting, the fantastic indie-rock soundtrack by Jayne Barnes Luckitt. McKee litters his film with meaningful symbols – a cat, an ashtray, sewing machines and cigarette boxes – that further reflect May's obsessions and loves. Bettis leads a fantastic cast, including a pre-fame Anna Farris as the highly suggestive Polly. Though its won many rave reviews over the years, “May” is still criminally underseen. McKee's powerful and beautifully assembled motion picture is one I will continue to return over and over again in the years to come. [10/10]

The Cremator (1969)
Spalovač Mrtvol

Non-English European cinema of the fifties and sixties is a blind spot for me. I'll admit, I'm not horribly familiar with the French New Wave or the films of the Italian Neo-Realism movement. I've only seen two Ingmar Bergman movies. Yet I'm definitely curious about classic art movies from overseas, especially when they veer more towards the macabre side of things. 1969's “The Cremator” hails from then-Czechoslovakia. I had never heard of the movie before it was released on DVD by Dark Sky Films in 2009. I read about that release in Fangoria, thought the film sounded interesting, and the title stuck with me. And now, ten years later, I'm finally getting around to actually watching the film.

As the 1930s close, Czechoslovakia is undergoing many changes. The Nazi Party has come to power in Germany and it's exerting its influence on the neighboring country. At first, Karel Kopfrikringl is not concerned with politics. He loves his wife Lakme and adores his son and daughter, Milli and Zina. He runs the crematorium at the local funeral home and is deeply proud of his work. He thinks of burning bodies to ash as bringing human souls closer to heaven, of removing their worldly concerns. The leader of the local Nazi chapter begins to seduce Karel to his ideology, causing the family man slip even further into madness.

At first, “The Cremator” presents Karel as a good man. He's a dedicated worker and a loving husband. He's tolerant of a morphine addict. He doesn't even drink or smoke. When the Nazi officer asks him about his German blood, Karel clarifies that this is a Czech household. As the film progresses, we learn more about Karel. He visits a brothel about once a month. It's this thirst for sex that first tempts him to join the local Nazi Chapter, invited into an exclusive casino. From there, he's offered more power, more control. Karel goes from considering himself Czech to considering himself German. He goes from being friendly with his Jewish neighbors to considering them with suspicion. When it's pointed out that his wife is half-Jewish, he bends towards even more depraved acts.

And that's how good men become evil. “The Cremator” clearly isn't just about one man sliding into true wickedness. It was made by Czech filmmakers, for whom the horrors of World War II were not an especially distant memory. Director Juraj Herz and his team probably saw firsthand how Nazisim took root in their country. In its final moments, the film becomes more and more disturbing as we realize the significance of Karel's work. Soon, he's drafted by the Nazis to work on a special project involving cremation. My stomach sank as the film moved towards this revelation. (The film notably presents Nazisim as about white supremacy and nothing else, which is refreshingly direct.) “The Cremator” is a disturbing watch for this reason alone, for the way it weaves real life history into a story of personal madness.

Yet this is also a hallucinatory horror movie. From its opening minutes, the film unfolds like a strange dream. Herz' direction involves close-ups on faces. The black-and-white photography feels otherworldly. The interiors of the rooms look still and chilly as mausoleums. As Karel shows the crematorium to an apprentice, the camera peers up through the trap doors and around the corners. A boxing match is similarly framed. Unexpected angles are often utilized to increase the nightmarish atmosphere. A long sequence involving a trip to a wax works, where the wax models are portrayed by actors, is especially surreal. As Karel's obsession with cremation, with purifying the world in fire, grows more unhinged, the direction grows more experimental. We see faces fall downward into the darkness, framed against Bosch's Garden of Earthly Delights. It's absolutely impossible to take your eyes off “The Cremator,” the visual approach feeling singularly strange and compelling. (There's also a degree of absurd comedy, such as the squeeism wife that is at seemingly every social function in the film.)

“The Cremator” stars Rudolf Hrušínský, who was primarily known for comedic performances before this movie. Hrušínský, who resembles Peter Lorre, holds this disturbing motion picture together. He narrates most of the film, his calm words explaining his particular philosophy about the world to us. Hrušínský seems extremely controlled and studied throughout most of the movie. As his words and ideas grow stranger, Hrušínský gets more wide-eyed. By the end, he seems to reach a religious awe as he talks about his goals and beliefs. Rudolf's climatic rant about what he has planned for the world is an awe inspiring display of concentrated acting.

“The Cremator” was Czechoslovakia's submission for Best Foreign Language Film at the 1970 Academy Awards. It wasn't nominated somehow. (Costa-Gravas' “Z” was the winner that year.) The film was banned by the newly Soviet government shortly after its release, not being seen again until after the fall of Czech Communism in 1989. Since then, its reputation has grown, with some considering it the greatest Czech movie ever made. I'm guessing it was largely unknown in America until that 2009 DVD release. I'm glad I gave this one a shot though. Not a traditional horror movie by any means, “The Cremator” is nevertheless a highly disturbing and powerful cinematic experience. [9/10]

Tales from the Cryptkeeper: Unpopular Mechanics

Here's another episode of “Tales from the Cryptkeeper” where the moral lesson is diluted by the main character being such an asshole. “Unpopular Mechanics” follows Randall, a young inventor with a destructive streak. For a science contest, he creates a remote control that can take control of any electronic device, though it immediately makes it fall apart. This does not impress the judge of the contest, nor his robot sidekick. Randall ignores his warnings and procedes to go on a rampage, wrecking objects all throughout his town. Eventually, the machines all around him get sick of his bullshit and decide to take revenge.

Once again, by making its moral so literal, “Tales from the Crpytkeeper” ends up imparting a very strange lesson to children. I think the episode wanted young people to learn that you should respect other people's property and not just randomly, wantonly destroy things. Instead, the lesson ends up being “machines have literal souls and feelings and will take revenge if you disrespect them.” Bizarre. Anyway, this is a stupid episode. A high school teacher having his own personal robot friend is an extraordinary feat that's considered very unimpressive, it seems. Randall is a total prick. I imagine this episode was probably inspired by Sid in “Toy Story,” as Randall cobbles together is own bizarre hybrid toys. The climax, which plays like a kiddie version of “Maximum Overdrive,” could've been interesting if the kid wasn't such a tool and the animation wasn't so bad. Typical of season three of “Tales from the Cryptkeeper.” [4/10]

Forever Knight: Blood Money

IMDb lists a different air order for season two of “Forever Knight” than the sequence its presented in the DVD box set. So instead of ending the season on the apocalyptic “A More Permanent Hell,” we wrap up our watch of “Forever Knight: Season Two” with a pretty normal episode. In “Blood Money,” we discover Nick Knight is rich. During his days as a murderous vampire, he stole a chest full of Spanish treasure. Upon his virtuous awakening, he used the gold to create a charitable foundation. And now the financial investor that helped Nick set that up has been murdered, his car exploding. The man's son, an alcoholic partier who recently opened a night club, is quickly assumed to be responsible. Nick and Schanke investigate and uncover a deeper criminal involvement.

Like I said, “Blood Money” is a pretty standard episode. Schanke has his goofy comic relief subplot, which involves him wanting to win the lottery. The flashbacks prove more compelling, as we get to see Geraint Wyn-Davies – who directed this episode – play swashbuckler a little bit. There's a cute scene where we meet another vampire who is very invested in his garden. The highlight of the episode involves Nick fighting a goon on the flashing dance floor of the night club. Colm Feore is memorably sleazy as the episode's villain, a weaselly gangster named Walken. [6/10]

I was really hoping, as season two ended, “Forever Knight” would bring some of its plot points – Nick and Natalie getting closer together, his occasional dalliances with Jenette, LaCroix's growing begrudging respect towards his off-spring – to a head. Of course, this is an episodic cop show. So serialized plot points are not too much of a concern. Watching my way through this season has been a bit of a slog at times. While I enjoy the characters and the actors, I wish the episode-to-episode stories were a little more compelling. Too often, “Forever Knight” isn't really a horror show. It's just a cop show where the protagonist happens to be a vampire. But, hey, I've only got one more season left so I'll definitely be finishing up watching and reviewing it next season.

Halloween 2019: October 15th

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

When Platinum Dunes and New Line Cinema partnered to remake “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” in 2003, launching the horror remake trend that would dominate the genre for most of the decade, it was pretty much inevitable what would happen next. Michael Bay's obnoxiously slick remake factory would get its grubby mitts on the other eighties horror icons included under the New Line House of Horror banner. After Jason was retrofitted into a slick scare delivery machine in 2009, Freddy Krueger would unsurprisingly follow the next year. While Platinum Dune's Leatherface movies had defenders at the time, even though they were garbage, and their Jason movie could've been a lot worst, 2010's “A Nightmare on Elm Street” has attracted few fans in the nine – yes really – years since its release.

Instead of remixing the original story, 2010's “A Nightmare on Elm Street” is a direct remake of Wes Craven's words. Nancy's last name is different and Tina is now called Kris but the character's roles are the same. The biggest difference this “Nightmare” enacts is adding a degree of doubt to Freddy's past. Now, the film presents the idea that maybe Freddy wasn't such a bad guy in life. Maybe he was framed for a crime – changed from murder to molestation, because I guess killing kids wasn't edgy enough for Platinum Dunes – he didn't commit. Never mind that this makes the nature of his revenge way less interesting. If Freddy was an innocent in life, why does he become such a depraved murderer in death? It's all a ruse anyway, as Freddy is revealed to be responsible by the end. Why add this difference then? There's no reason, other than a desire to make the new film different from the old one. It adds nothing to the story.

What makes the remake's changes seem even more superficial is how willing it is to listlessly re-enact scenes from the original. Anybody watching this film knows the blonde we follow for the first act is a decoy protagonist, destined to die and be replaced by Nancy. Yet our ersatz Tina is still sent through the motions. When she levitates above her bed, she's knocked around the room in a goofy looking fashion. Finally, as she dies, as CGI slash marks streak down her chest, she dies with a sigh, not a scream. Or look at Freddy phasing through the wall above Nancy's head, which now becomes an elaborate act of deeply unconvincing CGI. Instead of Freddy getting pulled into the real world to face off with a house full of traps, he has his throat slashed with a single swipe. So much of 2010's “Nightmare” is about recreating the original's thrills in an utterly joyless, bored fashion.

What new elements the remake add are equally uninspired. As you'd expect, 2010's “Nightmare” maintains the Platinum Dunes' house style. Everything is caked with grit and dirt while simultaneously looking as sleek and intentionally placed as possible. It's the car commercial version of horror, gritty but fashionable, commercial. The remake's nightmare sequences and death scenes are absolutely forgettable. All the dreams are Freddy lurking through the shadows. All the deaths are stabbings and slashings. Freddy's boiler room is piss-yellow lights seeping through indistinct machinery. The film loads down on jittery jump scares, Freddy's scarred face or claw leaping into the camera on more than one occasion. A good example of the lack of subtly here is the huge plume of sparks his claws produce every single time he drags them against any metal surface. And because the film has no respect for its audience's intelligence, there's an extended flashback explaining every factor of the killer's origin.

About the only element of the remake people seemed to actually like was our new Freddy Krueger. Jackie Earl Haley, hot off playing Rorschach, was selected as Freddy early on. Haley, though physically a shrimp, is certainly menacing in the part. He's adapt at playing a creepy pervert and a threatening psychopath. His gruff, husky laugh is good. Yet this Freddy is generally not an interesting villain. The film gives him too much dialogue, wordy explanations that could conceivably be construed as one-liners. The more realistic make-up design is also deeply boring looking. He looks like a gray alien with acne. Worst yet, the remake shoves the make-up into direct light early on and never stops. The original largely kept Freddy in the shadows and was better for it.

As deeply boring as this version of Freddy is, Haley is still easily the most interesting actor in the film. The rest of the cast are the blank underwear model types Platinum Dunes always shoved into their remakes. The teens are blindingly pretty young people that have zero personality behind their eyes, all of them acting in as bored as possible. Even Rooney Mara, obviously a talented actress, gives a truly somnambulist performance. And, of course, 2010's “A Nightmare on Elm Street” is utterly ignorant of any of the original's themes or ideas. Springwood is just a town, not a suburban ideal. The adult's lies are not in service of a larger idea about parental abuse. They are just assholes. No deeper thought was put into any of this.

By the way, Samuel Bayer directs. Bayer is responsible for the most iconic rock videos of the nineties. It took several offers to convince him to direct and he hasn't made a feature since, suggesting he wasn't especially interested in doing this. The film made 115 million dollars against a 35 million dollar budget. That certainly should've justified a sequel. Yet Platinum Dunes had this obnoxious habit of relaunching classic series and then squatting on the rights after making a single film. Even after Platinum Dunes' option expired, New Line Cinema seemed utterly ambivalent about their trademark franchise. Hopefully, now that the Wes Craven estate has regained control of the I.P., they'll team with a production company actually eager to make more Freddy Krueger adventures. I'm certainly willing to trust them more than anyone involved in the making of this utterly lifeless, soulless, empty product. [4/10]

Under Wraps (1997)

Determined to be the mega-conglomerate to top all other mega-conglomerates, Disney will be launching their own streaming service next month. Disney's growing domination of the pop culture sphere has been widely damned but you have to give the evil corporation some credit for the sheer width of selection their streaming service will have. Many obscure offerings from the early days of the Disney Channel's basic cable days will be included on the service. (Including “So Weird,” available on home media for the first time ever, which is a pretty big deal for a select group of people.) Oddly absent from the list is the film officially considered the very first Disney Channel Original Movie. That is 1997's “Under Wraps,” a Halloween-set kid-friendly monster comedy that I watched probably a hundred times back in the day.

Twelve year old Marshall is obsessed with monster movies and horror, much to the chagrin of his much nerdier friend Gilbert. After learning creepy neighbor Mr. Kubat has been stiffing Gilbert on his paper route money, Marshall insist they confront the guy. This goes badly but, it's okay, because Mr. Kubat seemingly dies the next day, covered in pancake batter. The boys, accompanying by snarky girl-next-door Amy, sneak into his house the next night. They discover an Egyptian sarcophagus in the basement. They also discover the re-animated mummy inside the sarcophagus. The undead goofball begins to pal around with the kids, Marshall quickly growing attached to him. The boy soon learns the wrapped-up corpse, quickly nicknamed Harold, has to fulfill special conditions of a curse or face destruction.

Mummies have never been the scariest of the classic horror icons. Ultimately, a guy stiff from thousands of years of rigor mortis, stumbling around in bandages, does not make a very imposing threat. However, they are kind of funny. This is something “Under Wraps” understands. It gets a lot of comedic mileage out of the surreal sight of a mummy stumbling around through a modern, small town. He encounters a fast-food restaurant, stumbles into a hospital and is confused for a burn victim, rides on a skateboard, and gets into a nerf gun fight with the kids. Harold, named due to a minor resemblance to Marhsall's uncle, is played by Bill Faggerbakke. (With decent make-up provided by K.N.B., of all groups.) Faggerbakke proves to be a decent physical comedian and makes the mummy an endearingly silly presence.

Being a television movie made for children, “Under Wraps” does have to appeal to the young ones. Its kiddie protagonists, designed to be as hip as possible for pre-teens in 1997, range back and forth between sort of likable and sort-of annoying. Marshall makes for a decent hero. His love of gory slasher movies – he's introduced watching something called “Wart-Head IV” and has a room full of rubber mask and props – immediately endears him to me. Gilbert, played by minor child star Adam Wylie, veers more towards the annoying. He's an exaggerated nerd, constantly threating about everything and stumbling into trouble. Clara Bryant's Amy is probably more caustic and bitchy than a main character in a kid's movie need be. Her snipping at the other kids gets a little too personal at times.

Despite airing on Disney Channel and being embraced as the first DCOM, “Under Wraps” wasn't actually produced by Disney. Which might explain why some of the jokes are a little edgier than expected. However, the movie does include the kind of emotional moral lesson you would expect from a TV movie made for the House of Mouse. You see, Marshall's mom and dad recently divorced and the boy is still recovering from this change. He resents his mom's new boyfriend, not because he isn't a nice guy, but because he misses his dad. Harold the Mummy's adventure involves him being reunited with his old mummy girlfriend, a princess he was kept apart from by tradition. Ultimately, Marshall realizes he can't direct his mom's love life and learns to let go. The same actor plays both Harold and mom's new boyfriend, which definitely seems like it should be significant.

When I was roughly the same age as the characters in “Under Wraps,” I was a regular Disney Channel watcher. Because the cable network re-broadcast their original movies constantly, I saw “Under Wraps” a lot. I remembered it being pretty good. Moments definitely stuck in my memory. Like the stop-motion opening credits, a joke involving howling wolves and crashing thunder, and the first thing the mummy does upon being awoken. Unlike fellow spooky D.C.O.M. “Halloweentown,” which holds up shockingly well, “Under Wraps” isn't as good now as it was then. The kid-movie adventure stuff feels pretty uninspired, especially in the last half-hour, and the characters irritate slightly. Still, the mummy is pretty funny and that is worth something. [7/10]

Tales from the Cryptkeeper: It's for You

You'll have to excuse me. I didn't plan for this. The third season of “Tales from the Cryptkeeper” contains a Christmas episode. “It's for You” revolves around an idea modern children will find especially baffling. For Christmas, Gary receives just the gift he wanted: His very own landline in his bedroom! Even though his parents warn him not too, he immediately goes about using the phone to prank call and harass people in the local neighborhood. This is all great fun for Gary and his friend until he calls a mysterious old lady at random. The lady then calls him back. And keeps calling him back. Her incessant ringing soon isn't leaving him alone at all. He attempts to confront the woman in person and uncovers her terrible secret.

Here's an episode premise that couldn't be more antiquated. The idea of a landline is totally obsolete, much less the premise of a young kid being excited by having his own. We take cellphones utterly for granted now. Caller I.D. is also something we take for granted now, making both the set-up for this episode and its moral – don't go making phony calls, kids – seem baffling. (Caller I.D. already existed in 1999 too, meaning this episode was already out-of-date by the time it aired.)  Gary is another “Tales from the Cryptkeeper” protagonist who is presented as a juvenile prankster that actually acts like a psychopath. His prank calls include harassing a single mom and leaving a threatening phone call for a little child. That ends up being far more disturbing than the ghostly old woman who haunts him, though she is mildly creepy. Luckily, the Christmas element of this episode is pretty minor so it doesn't spoil my Halloween mood too much. [5/10]

Forever Knight: A More Permanent Hell

The penultimate episode of “Forever Knight's” second season certainly has a more interesting premise than your usual episode. An astrophysicist at a planetarium has seemingly killed herself. As Nick and Schanke investigate, they discover why. The scientist has discovered that a massive asteroid is on a collision course with Earth. In three months, the human race will face extinction. Naturally, this information quickly leaks to the public and the world goes crazy. Natalie asks to become a vampire. Schanke worries about his family. Riots break out. Nick, however, notices some inconsistency in the initial suicide and continues to investigate. Meanwhile, LaCroix recalls his origins, bitten by his own vampire daughter during the final days of Pompeii.

Obviously, we can presume that “Forever Knight” isn't going to end the world in the second-to-last episode of its second season. Nevertheless, “A More Permanent Hell” does have a fascinating premise. Seeing how this lot of characters react to the apocalyptic news, thrusting them into the heart of a doomsday scenario, sure allows for some interesting growth. The episode continues the increasing intimacy between Nick and Natalie, especially as she begs him to become a vampire only to become frightened by what that entails. Even LaCroix gets a moment of contrition, left to wonder what the point of it all truly his. (The flashbacks to his origins are fantastic to see, even if the period details leave a lot to be desired.) Honestly, the only issues I have with “A More Permanent Hell” is the idea that facets of society like police work, radio stations, or goth clubs would be able to function at all in the face of such cataclysmic news. [7/10]

Halloween 2019: October 14th

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

Since at least the days of “Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman,” horror fans have always been fascinated by the question of which monster would win in a fight with some other monster. And being the two most iconic horror villains of the decade, fans debated for years over such a title bout between Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees. Hollywood producers realized the box office for that match-up could be enormous. In the early nineties, New Line Cinema gained the rights to Jason essentially for the expressed purpose of making “Freddy vs. Jason” a reality. Yet the crossover film would stagnate in Development Hell for over a decade, fans being tempted and frustrated by innumerable false starts. Finally, in 2003, the stars aligned and every eighties horror nerd's wet dream came true. The Sultan of Slash and the Dream Stalker faced off in a bloody battle to the death, a once-in-a-lifetime event for horror fanatics.

Part of why “Freddy vs. Jason's” pre-production process was so extended is because many of the scripts considered took bizarre deviations from established series lore. Say what you will about the final screenplay but it found a faithful, fairly logical way to blend these two characters. In the years since “Freddy's Dead” – which is only a few, since that film was technically set in the late nineties – Springwood has suppressed Freddy's memory by erasing his name from local history and doping any nightmare-prone kids up with dream-negating drugs. Freddy discovers Jason in Hel and manipulates him back to life, sending him to Ohio to reap terror and rewaken a fear of Krueger in the local populace. Naturally, Jason proves too hard to control and the slashers start fighting over the right to kill everyone. It's doubtlessly messy yet also works fairly smoothly without rewriting series history and does some neat new things with both characters.

Perhaps more important than anything else, “Freddy vs. Jason” respects both franchises. Jason is a great lumbering beast, who brutally and efficiently kills anyone that gets in his way. Yet there's also something kind of sad in his eyes, barely glimpsed behind that hockey mask. He loves his mama and was once just a scared little boy. The film earns a lot of points for exploring the psychology of the character. Freddy, meanwhile, is characterized here between the goofy prankster of the later films and his original, darker personality. He cracks some real groan-worthy one-liners and still enjoys goofing around in his nightmare realm. Yet the crossover repeatedly reminds viewers that Freddy killed (and probably molested) kids, by playing up his sexually menacing side. Robert Englund, naturally, excels as both a hilarious goof and a disturbingly sleazy pervert. 

The most fun part of any wacky crossover like this is finding cool ways for the characters to compliment each other. Which “Freddy Vs. Jason” does repeatedly. This is most evident when Freddy enters Jason's mind. The resulting nightmare sees Jason spun through the air like a pinball and has Freddy exploiting the slasher's primal fear of water. The dreamy Camp Crystal Lake sequence that follows is worthwhile in its own right. While Jason doubtlessly reaps more carnage, including massacring a whole rave of teens, more of the movie's actual plot is based in “Elm Street” lore. Which is a good compromise. Weston Hill Sanatorium and Hypnocil reappear. Once again, the adults of Springwood are lying to their children and manipulating them. Freddy's nature as someone who plays with people's fears for his own amusement is maintained. We even get an awesome boiler room stalking sequence. Care was taken to ensure “Freddy vs. Jason” would follow both series as closely as possible.

Which isn't to say mistakes aren't made. Watching “Freddy Vs. Jason” sixteen years after it came out, the movie now looks as hilariously dated as its eighties predecessors do. The visual style is immediately recognizable as the early 2000s. This is most evident in the gratuitous slow motion peppered throughout. There's a cornfield rave sequence, which naturally features some hilarious slow-mo too. The fashion and slang of the teens stinks of my high school years. There's a then-relevant pop star in the cast and the actors all look like they are from MTV central casting circa last decade. Not to mention the shriek-y, nu-metal soundtrack. 

Unlike the best of the “Nightmare” or “Friday the 13th” movies, you never care about any of the teens here. Monica Keena's performance as lead girl Lori is heavy on yelling and over-emoting but low on actual emotional investment. Most of her friends are a bland lot that are barely sketched out. The kids frequently get goofy, exposition-heavy dialogue that comes off as wholly unnatural. This causes many of the set-up scenes to drag quite a bit. The film murders a likable actress like Katherine Isabelle, grossly underserved anyway, but keeps the clearly uncomfortable Kelly Rowland around until nearly the end. The stereotypes sometimes emerge as more personable. Stoner Freeburg is kind of funny, especially in the bizarre “Freddy-pillar” sequence, while pathetic super nerd Linderman at least gets a noble death.

Not that the teens are horribly important anyway. We are here to watch Freddy and Jason rumble and the movie absolutely delivers on that. Ronny Yu, of “Bride of Chucky” and a number of clever Hong Kong action films, brings a frequently atmospheric and stylish approach to the visuals and a steady, furious hand to the action. The final showdown at Camp Crystal Lake is incredibly satisfying. Jason slams Freddy through windows, Freddy performs acrobatic stabs and flips. The environment is used in fun and clever ways. Compressed air canisters turn into missiles while a construction set adds even more variety to the fight. Most importantly, the gore level is impressively high. Freddy and Jason are slicing huge chunks out of each other by the end, tearing apart each other's bodies. It's pretty bitchin'. You can tell early on who will win and even the circumstance is easy to predict. But getting there sure is a thrill ride.

I was fifteen years old in 2003 and a huge fan of both franchises. In other words, I was right in the movie's demographic and, obviously, loved it. All the other dopey horror dorks that were my friends felt similarly. The gimmick was too great for audiences to ignore and the film became the biggest in the “Jason” series and the second highest-grossing in the “Freddy” series. New Line was eager to replicate “Freddy Vs. Jason's” success. (And a minor trend of other “versus” movies would follow.) The only sequel idea that seemed to gain much traction was “Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Ash,” which proved too crazy a pipe dream to manifest on-screen. Ultimately, “Freddy Vs. Jason” would stand alone as a gloriously goofy but deeply entertaining one-off experience. I'm not sure it's an especially good movie but I can still have a very good time with this one. [7/10]

Grizzly (1976)

Anyone who knows their horror history knows that animals-run-amok films had their hay-day in the seventies. The decade featured rats, frogs, snakes, spiders, ants, cockroaches, bats, panthers, and dogs going on rampages against mankind. After the release of “Jaws,” suddenly every animal that swam in the sea was headlining its own horror picture. Director William Girdler previously ripped-off “The Exorcist,” with a blaxploitation version of that film called “Abby.” Seeing the blockbuster success of “Jaws,” Girdler clearly set his eyes on a new cinematic fad to take advantage of. “Grizzly” would follow the blueprint set out by Spielberg's masterpiece while starring one of the few animals that hadn't already starred in a seventies killer beast flick.

Filmed in Georgia, “Grizzly” is set in a national park presumably somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. The scenic location is an attraction for hikers, vacationers, and picnicking families. Chief park ranger Michael Kelly – whose team includes helicopter pilot Don and naturalist Arthur Scott – claim to have relocated all the bears in the forest. However, they pretty obviously missed one. A fifteen foot tall male grizzly bear has entered into the park and begins to brutally tear apart anyone it encounters. Soon, Kelly and his friends are being pressured to track down the bear and stop it before any more innocents die.

“Grizzly” isn't just attempting to ride the coattails of “Jaws” and other killer animal flicks. It is a nearly one-to-one rip-off of the shark movie. Like Sheriff Brody, Park Ranger Kelly is a regular joe authority figure determined to protect people, campaigning to close the park. The owner of the park, however, refuses to close it during the lucrative tourist season, even if it means people are going to get eaten by a bear. Sound familiar? The role of Quint is split between eccentric zoologist tough guy Scott and grizzled veteran Don. (Who has a Vietnam flashback that recalls Quint's Indianapolis speech.) After the attacks begin, the park is filled with hunters determined to bring down the bear, the same way Amity was flooded by shark-hunting fishermen. A helicopter stands in for the Orca and both get wrecked before the movies are over. Both films even feature a child being attacked by the menace, though the boy here just barely lives. The killer animal even blows up at the end of the both movies, the bear exploding hilariously thanks to a randomly applied bazooka.

Considering its rip-off status, “Grizzly” is most entertaining as a piece of camp. In another blatant emulation of Spielberg, Girdler fills his film with P.O.V. shots from the bear's perspective. However, Girdler's P.O.V. shots go on for so long, and are soundtracked to the bear's grunting noises, that they become funny. Many of the attack sequences are awkwardly framed. The fatal bear hugs involve actors being uncomfortably squeezed by a large fuzzy model. Another scene involves a woman being yanked up through a tent, which is badly framed. The bear is an unusually determined predator. He smashes his giant hairy paw through a wooden door and, in one hilarious sequence, slowly knocks over a park watchtower. The bear is also a rather polite wild killer, as he buries several of his victims after mauling them. The biggest laugh of the film comes when the bear suddenly, unexpectedly decapitates a horse. (Despite the copious gore, “Grizzly” was still rated PG.)

While the bear attack scenes in “Grizzly” are all hilarious, any non-bear attack sequence proves to be rather tedious. A subplot involves a potential romance forming between Park Ranger Kelly and a female photographer. However, this story line ends up going nowhere and is dropped half-way through the film. There are many long scenes devoted to our hero arguing about what he should do, the park operator always insisted that the Park Stays Open!!! Exploitation mainstay Christopher George stars and he is a compelling presence. However, even he can only do so much when forced to repeatedly march through such repetitive moments. Luckily, the movie is short and moves along quickly, so it's rare that too many scenes pass before the grizzly is ripping someone else a new asshole.

Despite – or perhaps because – it followed the “Jaws” formula so closely, “Grizzly” would become a considerable box office success. In fact, up until “Halloween,” it was the most successful independent film of the decade. “Grizzly” even spawned a rip-off of its own, in the form of 1977's “Claws.” In the early eighties, an attempt was made to make a sequel. “Grizzly II: The Concert” would've feature another giant grizzly bear attacking a new wave concert. Pre-fame Charlie Sheen and George Clooney had bit parts. Mid-way through production, the producer left with all the money and filming shut down. “Grizzly II” was never finished but bootlegs of the completed footage circulate around the usual corners. Quite a legacy for such a dumb, simple, but doubtlessly amusing little motion picture. [6/10]

Tales from the Cryptkeeper: Town Gathering

Here's a season three episode of “Tales from the Cryptkeeper” that sidelines the moral lesson a little bit and is stronger for it. In “Town Gathering,” Erin – who lives in a small town with her mom and grandfather – is constantly playing pranks on her family members. It's gotten to the point where nobody believes anything the girl says. Erin leaves her bike in the road, attracting the attention of Ben Arnold, an unscrupulous businessman who is being paid to locate a small town by a mysterious party. It's soon revealed that his employers are flesh-eating aliens looking for an obscure town to wipe off the map. And Erin just led him to the perfect candidate. Naturally, nobody believes her when she tries to tell them the truth.

“Town Gathering” acknowledges right from its early scenes that it's a variation on “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.” By foregrounding its moral lesson, it allows its story a little more breathing room. This episode is actually more preoccupied with telling its wacky little story, than constantly hitting the young viewer over the head with an obvious lesson.  Ben Arnold is a compelling human villain. The aliens are nasty enough, with interesting designs that are both insect-like and reptilian. Erin is a likable protagonist. The end of the episode has a suitably ironic fate being delivered upon the bad guys, which is probably one of the more violent conclusions in this kid's cartoon. “Town Gathering” also features the sight of the Cryptkeeper dressed as a trucker. It is without a doubt one of the better season three episode, recalling the superior first season. [7/10]

Forever Knight: The Code

Here we go with another Schanke focused episode. (Which is unsurprising, considering John Kapelos wrote this one.) A chance meeting puts Schanke back in contact with his childhood best friend, Delehanty, who runs a hugely successful private security firm in Arizona. Fed up with the Canadian winters, Schank considers leaving the police force and joining his friend in a warmer climate. After the two seemingly crack a rash of poisonings, it seems to confirm Schanke's desire to leave. Nick, however, isn't so sure they've gotten to the bottom of this case. Meanwhile, he's also reminded of a time back in his wild west days when he trusted the wrong person.

The highlight of “The Code” is watching Kapelos bounce off of Joseph Ziegler, who plays Delehanty. The characters have a long history together and pepper their conversations with private in-jokes, which they do not feel the need to explain much. Which is amusing and accurately reflects what an old friendship is like. However, from the minute Delehanty appears on-screen, you know the guy is hiding something. Eventually, Schanke will be forced to make a hard decision regarding his friend. Another interesting element of the episode is that its case-of-the-week is obviously inspired by the infamous Tylenol tampering case. “Forever Knight” didn't do too many “ripped from the headline” episodes, so there's some novelty here. The flashback sequence are largely superfluous, though it is sort of fun to see Nick dressed up as a cowboy. [7/10]