THE SYLVESTER SEMESTER PART II: Rambo (2008)

After Sylvester Stallone successfully resurrected Rocky for a final bout, it was inevitable that he would bring his other trademark character back for one more mission. The fourth entry in the Rambo series was even entitled “John Rambo” at one point, to match “Rocky Balboa’s” title. After cycling through half a dozen other titles – including ridiculous subtitles like “Pearl of the Cobra,” “In the Serpent’s Eye” and “To Hell and Back” – the film was released domestically with the hilariously curt title of “Rambo.” (It remained as “John Rambo” overseas and most fans call it “Rambo IV,” for clarity’s sake.) Though not as well received as “Rocky Balboa,” Rambo’s fourth adventure was still a hit, cementing that Stallone’s star power had been restored.

John Rambo has apparently spent the last twenty-one years in Thailand, capturing cobras for a local snake show to make ends’ meet. After seeing that his efforts as the ultimate soldier have only made the world worst, Rambo has become a loner and a cynic. That is until a group of Christian missionaries ask him to furry them into Burma. Once inside the war-torn country, the missionaries are captured by an especially cruel, sadistic general. Hoping to rescue the innocents, John Rambo has to go into the war zone once again.

The Rambo series went through some serious changes along the way. Beginning as a character-oriented thriller, it soon became a jingoistic action series. By part three, it was practically mindless. 2008’s “Rambo” looks to restore some of “First Blood’s” character-driven aspect. The film considers the psychology of someone like John Rambo. At story’s beginning, he’s given up on people. Apparently, a pretty blonde smiling at him is enough to convince him that some people are worthwhile. After realizing he must go back to war, “Rambo” enters its best scene. A montage devoted to John forging his new knife – more like a machete, this time – he monologues in voice over, realizing that killin’ is what he does. Ultimately, he decides potentially dying for somethin’ is better then living for nothin’. The ending has Rambo’s faith in humanity restored, as he seeks to reunite himself with his father, who must surely be in his nineties. It’s not a lot but, considering the “Rambo” series had degraded into shoot-em-ups by now, any introspection counts for something.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Rambo movie without some unnerving, right-wing politics. Despite obviously believing that war is hell, “Rambo” still seems disturbingly pro-violence. Rambo sneers at the missionary’s belief that they can change anything. The group’s desires to help people only gets them captured and tortured by the wicked Burmese military. After witnessing ghastly carnage, one of the missionaries embraces the way of violence, bashing an attacker’s head in with a rock. Moreover, “Rambo” is not an insightful examination of the atrocities in Burma. After portraying the Vietnamese as evil torturers in “First Blood Part II,” Stallone happily portrays the Burmese army as equally sadistic villains. It seems John Rambo is most happy while slaughtering Asians, regardless of country.

The film goes out of its way to portray the atrocities the villains commit. “Rambo” begins with a newsreel, showing actual footage of death and violence from the country. The next scene introduces the villain playing sadistic games with prisoners. Each gun shot results in a graphic burst of blood. A particularly sickening sequence is devoted to the military laying siege to a village. Women are raped. Children are shot, stabbed, and tossed into a burning building. Those who fight back are murdered with flame throwers or reduced to exploding body parts by grenades. To make it clear that General Tint, the primary antagonist, is extra evil, he’s also portrayed as a pedophile. Stallone’s quest for realism makes “Rambo” almost too bleak and unpleasant to work as populist entertainment.

Yet it’s clear why the writer/director piles on such graphic carnage. The bad guys must be so evil that it justifies Rambo’s equally monstrous retaliation. As far as action goes, 2008’s “Rambo” creates the kind of violence previously unseen in the genre. Rambo clears out enemies with his trademark bow, piercing heads and necks. He tears a man’s throat out with his bare hands. Before the movie even gets to the good stuff, Rambo blows up a hundred guys with a mine. After decapitating the gunner, he turns the cannon on the driver, reducing him to a spray of gore. From the jeep-mounted platform, Rambo cuts through an entire army. The camera lingers on enemy soldiers being cut in half by gunfire, heads exploding, huge holes blasted through bodies. He destroys a boat, a truck hauling more men, and hundreds of fighters. (Nobody seems to think to sneak up behind him.) It’s glorious action movie violence that I don’t think will be topped any time soon.

With the death of Richard Crenna in 2003, John Rambo lost his only consistent supporting cast member. “Rambo” can’t cook up any characters as lovable as Col. Troutman. If anything, the film’s new characters are some of its weakest additions. Julie Benz plays Sarah, the missionary that reaches Rambo’s heart. Benz mostly spends the film captured and panicking. Paul Schulze is an obnoxious wet blanket as the leader of the missionaries. In order to assists Rambo’s war on the genocidal military – as if he needs any help – a team of mercenaries accompany him. Some of these characters, such as Graham McTavis’ Lewis, are obnoxious and unlikable. Others, like Matthew Marsden’s School Boy, are just indistinct. The best among them is Tim Kang’s En-Joo, mostly thanks to Kang’s considerable charm. Ultimately, these characters could’ve been cut from the film and the story would practically be unaltered.

2008’s “Rambo” has some troubling undercurrents and its in-your-face violence is definitely distasteful and exploitative. Stallone’s direction is a little too shaky and he overdoes the slow-mo. Despite these flaws, “Rambo” features some incredibly intense action movie theatrics. It also manages to provide a satisfying conclusion to John Rambo’s story. That last factor made me question Stallone’s insistence on making a fifth movie. A final Rambo movie was discussed for years and was even given the awesome working title of “Last Blood.” Reportedly, this adventure would’ve seen John either waging war on Mexican drug cartels or a genetically engineered super soldier. Ultimately, Sly abandoned plans to continue the series, realizing Rambo’s war was finally over. I agree. 2008's "Rambo" provided massive action and an emotional end to the character's long journey. [7/10]

[THE STALLOWNAGE OF SLY: 4 outta 5]
[X] Frank Stallone or Frank Stallone-esque Inspirational Music*
[X] Incapacitates or Kills Someone With His Body
[] Shows Off Buffness
[X] Social Outcast [Loner Killing Machine]
[X] Sweaty, Veiny Yelling

*On the boat ride, one of the mercs sings a song that sounds Frank Stallone-esque enough for me

THE SYLVESTER SEMESTER PART II: Rambo III (1987)

John J. Rambo’s story more-or-less concluded in “First Blood Part II.” When a Vietnam vet defined by his PTSD returns to Vietnam and kills everyone there, what else is left for him to do? Yet a film as hugely popular and immediately iconic as “Rambo” demanded a follow-up. It’s not as if Sylvester Stallone was unfamiliar with continuing the adventures of his characters past their logical end points. “Rambo III” blasted into theaters in 1987. While the sequel was still a sizable international hit, it suffered the indignity of being bested at the box office by “Crocodile Dundee II.” Being not quite as explosive a success as part two put John Rambo into retirement for twenty years. Knowing this, how does the third adventure of America’s favorite super solider stack up?

Following his disappearance at the end of “First Blood Part II,” Col. Troutman has tracked John Rambo to Thailand. His country needs him again. Troutman wants Rambo to assist the rebels in Afghanistan as they fight against the invading Soviets. John refuses at first. When he receives news that Troutman has been captured by the Russians, he changes his mind. Sneaking into Afghanistan, Rambo befriends the Mujaheddin. After witnessing an especially brutal attack by the Soviets, Rambo is motivated even more to rescue his closest friend and aid the revolution.

As I mentioned above, Rambo’s character arc basically wrapped up in the previous entry in the series. The script recognizes this. At story’s beginning, he’s competing in street fights for money, which he gives to a community effort to build a church. Rambo is, as much as possible, at peace. When Troutman shows Rambo evidence of the Soviet atrocities in Afghanistan, he states that this isn’t his war. So the movie makes it his war. As with the deaths of Apollo Creed in “Rocky IV” and Co in “First Blood Part II,” the loss of a personal friend is what truly motivates Stallone’s hero. The capture of Troutman, Rambo’s heterosexual(?) life partner, gets him back in the shit. Yeah, the movie has Rambo being disgusted by the Russian’s actions, furthering his transformation into a freedom fighter. Mostly, though, he’s fighting for love. Sweaty dude love.

The second “Rambo” film was barely concealed Cold War propaganda. Yeah, he killed a shit ton of Russians last time but his personal grudge against the Vietnamese took precedence. Part three dispenses with the “barely concealed” part. The Soviets are comically evil in “Rambo III.” They massacre an entire village, blowing away Afghanis with missiles and machine guns. Inside the secret camps are cages full of women, awaiting their fates as sex slaves. The Russians brutally torture their captives, with beatings and rope bindings. When they’ve gotten everything they can out of the prisoners, they burn them to death with a flame thrower. The reaction the film hopes to breed in its viewers is obvious: “Rambo III” wants you to hate the Soviet Union. It wants you to cheer at the death of every Russian psychopath on-screen.

Of course, reality sometimes has a way of intervening on fantasy. While John Rambo was decimating the Soviet military on the screen, Gorbachev’s policy of glasnost was opening the East more to the West then ever before in real life. The movie’s box office is sometimes blamed on this factoid. Yet other factors make “Rambo III” an even more uncomfortable watch in retrospect. In an early scene, Troutman says that most Americans can’t find Afghanistan on a map. In 2016, this is a less likely scenario. The real life equivalent to the rebels Rambo assist here would grow into the Taliban a decade later. As in, the guys who did 9/11. America covertly supporting its future enemies is an irony not lost on historians. It’s a circumstance Sylvester Stallone and his creative team clearly did not anticipate. It’s certainly makes “Rambo III” a dissociative watch, seeing the most American fictional character fighting along side future terrorists.

“Rambo III” was nearly directed by Russell Mulcahy, the genius behind “Highlander” and “Razorback.” Stallone and Mulcahy disagreed on the film’s direction though, causing Sly to give second unit man Peter MacDonald his first directorial gig. MacDonald hoped to soften Rambo’s image slightly, adding more humor to the script and giving the hero more friends. That humor mostly manifest as a few stray one-liners, which Stallone has no trouble delivering. As for the friends, they’re a fairly unobtrusive lot. Richard Crenna’s Troutman is given an extended role, allowed to blast Ruskies alongside his best bro. You can tell Crenna enjoys being given more to do. Rambo’s main Afgani friend is Mousa, played by an enthusiastic Sasson Gabai. The film even adds a little kid to follow Stallone’s ultimate killing machine around. Luckily, Doudi Shoua’s Hamid isn’t a totally annoying kid sidekick, as he often proves useful. He also exits the film halfway through, before he has a chance to get annoying.

Sequel escalation is a rule Sylvester Stallone definitely understands, as evident in the increasingly high stakes of the “Rocky” sequels. In “First Blood,” we heard about how unstoppable a solider Rambo was. In “First Blood Part II,” we saw how unstoppable he is. In “Rambo III,” he’s somehow even more unstoppable. He leaps into a mounted machine gun, blasting a helicopter apart at point blank range. Later, he one-ups this sequence by blowing up a helicopter with one of his exploding arrows. He beats the main henchmen, pulls the pin on the guy’s grenade, kicks him into a hole, and snaps his neck with a rope, upon which the man explodes. After being run through by shrapnel, Rambo cauterizes the wound by exploding gun powder inside himself. In other words: If you piss off Rambo, he will murder you and everyone who knows you. In addition to his higher body count, Stallone is even more buff then last time too.

For a time, the Guinness World Record book listed “Rambo III” as the most violent film ever made. There’s no doubt that part three somehow tops the previous film’s considerable carnage. The Russian raid on the Afgani village includes countless squibs and dozens of explosions. When Rambo retaliates against the Ruskies, he blows up an entire base. The conclusion has John and Troutman facing down an army by themselves. Naturally, the two have little problem with this. Rambo kills the main bad guy by ramming a helicopter with a tank. Holy shit. You can argue about the film’s aesthetic value all you want but, as far as hard-hitting cinematic action goes, “Rambo III” delivers in spades.

That’s the name of the game. For red-blooded action junkies, the third “First Blood” film may actually satisfies more then any of them. It’s a ridiculously macho experience. For example: There’s not a single named female character. As far as brain dead action fest goes, there’s certainly lots to like. This is, after all, the only movie you’ll see where Sylvester Stallone plays buzkashi. And I do like the movie. But it ultimately lacks the heart of the first and the freshness of the second. Maybe it’s for the best that Stallone would hang up his red bandana for two decades. [7/10]

[THE STALLOWNAGE OF SLY: 5 outta 5]
[X] Frank Stallone or Frank Stallone-esque Inspirational Music
[X] Incapacitates or Kills Someone With His Body
[X] Shows Off Buffness
[X] Social Outcast [Loner Veteran]
[X] Sweaty, Veiny Yelling

THE SYLVESTER SEMESTER PART II: Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)

Sylvester Stallone is a man who, more often then not, gives the people what they want. “First Blood” was a big hit for the star. Rambo, as an emotionally disturbed Vietnam vet, hardly seemed as commercial a character as Rocky Balboa. This didn’t stop Stallone from creating a sequel revolving around him. While the first film was a moody thriller, “Rambo: First Blood Part II” was a crowd pleasing action flick full of massive explosions and shoot-outs. The sequel would be an even bigger hit, overshadowing the original. It would also become one of the most iconic films of the eighties, producing countless rip-offs, parodies, and two further sequels.

Following his rampage in Hope, WA, John Rambo has been imprisoned, currently cracking rocks inside the walls of a penitentiary. That is until Col. Troutman comes to him with a proposition. Rambo has been selected for a secret mission, in exchange for a federal pardon. He’ll be sent back to Vietnam, looking for evidence of POWs still in the country. When he finds those prisoners, a government bureaucrat leaves Rambo behind enemy’s lines. Now the soldier must fight back again, rescue the men, and destroy a crap ton of Vietnamese and Communist forces.

When Troutman asks Rambo to go back to Vietnam, the soldier responses by saying “Do we get to win this time?” This characterizes “Rambo’s” philosophy towards the Vietnam War, a conflicts whose psychic scars were still felt ten years later. “First Blood Part II” essentially has John Rambo going back to Vietnam, killing everyone there, and retroactively wining the war for America. By rescuing the POWs – whose actual existence is largely discredited – Rambo is symbolically bringing home all the soldiers who never returned. In the film’s final minutes, the largely monosyllabic veteran delivers a speech reiterating the first movie’s themes: That this country needs to honor the sacrifices its men made in Vietnam. Like all forms of American populist entertainment, eighties action films were about healing the wounds felt in the real world. “First Blood Part II” takes all the Vietnam War’s baggage and blows it up with a bazooka.

The sequel also re-contextualizes the conflict for the feel good eighties. In “Rambo,” the Vietnam War is no longer a case of a corrupt government sending regular people to die in a foreign country for reasons they do not understand. Yes, Charles Napier’s Murdock is a federal dirt bag who betrays Rambo’s – and, by extension, all the other vet’s – trust. Yet, once Rambo is captured again by the Vietnamese, Soviet soldiers march in. They torture him, showing a clear sadism, the red stars on their uniforms always visible. Once Rambo escapes, you sure as hell know he murders the shit out of these Commie bastards. “First Blood Part II” is a Cold War film, showing the conflict between the U.S.A. and the U.S.S.R. in big bold, comic book strokes. Is there any wonder Ronald Reagan, with his overly aggressive foreign policy, loved this movie?

As a character, John J. Rambo was a far more introspective man last time. “First Blood” grappled more actively with the mental damage the war reaped on Rambo’s mind. In the sequel, meanwhile, he is primarily a heartless killing machine. He doesn’t have very much dialogue throughout. For most of the film, Stallone stares ahead blankly, focused solely on his mission. This is the movie that would cause the public’s perception of Sylvester Stallone to change. Before this film, he was mostly known as Rocky Balboa, a common man with a simple mind and a gentle heart. Afterwards, he would stack up continuously bigger body counts in outrageous action flicks like “Cobra” and “Tango & Cash.” He was no longer an everyman. Now he was an unstoppable juggernaut, the eighties action movie incarnate.

Don’t think I’m giving “Rambo: First Blood Part II” a bad review though. The movie’s politics may be obvious or even reprehensible. However, as an action film, “Rambo” is almost unparalleled. The first film devoted some run time to explaining what a bad ass John Rambo is. While he was insanely tough last time, he was mostly on the run. This time, all of Rambo’s skills as the ultimate solider are on display. He remains unphased throughout brutal torture. Once unleashed, Rambo becomes truly unstoppable. He covers himself in mud, hiding from enemies. He drags victims off-screen, like a horror movie monster, dispatching them with ease. (For that matter, Rambo’s trademark giant knife wouldn’t be out of place in a slasher flick.) One of the film’s most absurd sequences has an enemy solider shooting at Rambo. He stands still, bullets avoiding him, before blowing the man up with an arrow. He’s not quite John Matrix but John Rambo is still one of the most unstoppable heroes to ever grace action cinema.

“Rambo” packs its last act full of big ass explosions. Rambo leaps out of the range of a giant fireball. He commandeers a Russian helicopter, resulting in a mildly tense chopper chase. After tricking the filthy Ruskie pilot, Rambo explodes it with a rocket launcher. He then turns the vehicle’s missiles and machine guns on the Vietnamese base, reducing it to ashes. Even before then, he’s leaping out of boats, narrowly avoiding other explosions. It’s not sophisticated stuff. Yet it undeniably tickles the lizard brain. As a fan of old school action, “First Blood Part II” is obviously a high water mark of the genre.

The film’s ability to entertain so easily with giant action is likely why “Rambo” would prove so irresistible to low budget filmmakers. Faux Rambos would emerge from places as divergent as Italy, South Africa, the Philippines, and Turkey. They would all copy the formula of a lone solider blasting away entire armies worth of enemies, usually in some jungle country. These are lesser flicks but if a rip-off managed to grasp a fraction of "First Blood Part II's" entertainment value, it would be doing great. “Rambo’s” politics made it perfect for eighties America but the rest of the world loved it too. (Well, maybe not Russia…) If you wanna see armies of faceless goons get gunned down, and you can’t get a copy of “Commando” or “Death Wish 3,” rent this one. George P. Cosmatos directed and James Cameron co-wrote the script but this is undeniably a film straight from the psyche of Sylvester Stallone. [8/10]

[THE STALLOWNAGE OF SLY: 5 outta 5]
[X] Frank Stallone or Frank Stallone-esque Inspirational Music
[X] Incapacitates or Kills Someone With His Body
[X] Shows Off Buffness
[X] Social Outcast [Abandoned Soldier]
[X] Sweaty, Veiny Yelling

THE SYLVESTER SEMESTER PART II: First Blood (1982)

After the perpetual underdog Rocky Balboa, emotionally disturbed Vietnam veteran John J. Rambo is the character most associated with Sylvester Stallone. "First Blood," a film adaptation of David Morell’s violent 1972 novel, had spent a decade in development hell. Multiple notable stars – Clint Eastwood, Robert DeNiro, Paul Newman, Al Pacino, Powers Boothe, John Travolta – had been attached over the years. When Sylvester Stallone entered the project, he naturally rewrote the script. Buzz Feitshans and Mario Kassar were credited with the screenplay. Ted Kotcheff, whose other films include “Wake in Fright” and “Weekend at Bernie’s,” directed the picture. Despite his numerous creators, Rambo belongs the most to Sly. His rewrite made the character more sympathetic, his star power made the film a hit, and his devotion made Rambo into a franchise.

Rambo enters Hope, Washington looking for the last living member of his platoon. Instead, he’s faced with the news that his friend has died of cancer. Wandering the town, distraught, he’s accosted by the local sheriff. Arrested for vagrancy, Rambo is abused by the power mad police officers. Triggering a PTSD flashback, Rambo becomes violent. He goes on a rampage through the countryside, using his considerable combat skills to evade capture and attack the cops. His old commanding officer, Troutman, is brought in with the hope that he can stem Rambo’s rage.

In the early parts of his career, Sylvester Stallone’s films outside the “Rocky” series weren’t successful. “First Blood” finally provided Sly with a non-pugilism themed hit. Rambo has some similarities to the simple-minded boxer. Both are outsiders, motivated more by instinct then intellect. Rambo, however, is unstable. He’s haunted by his memories of the war and is spurned by a modern America eager to forget. Though he’d eventually evolve into a commie-blasting action hero, the first film portrays Rambo as strictly an anti-hero. He has his honor, and he’s not as murderous as his literary counterpart, but he’s hardly a lovable guy. Stallone’s acting, meanwhile is sweatier, more intense then his performances in the “Rocky” films.

Another change employed to make Rambo more sympathetic is making the cops in Hope huge assholes. Brian Dennehy’s Sheriff Teasle endlessly badgers the guy for the crime of walking around town. Deputy Galt, played by Jack Starrett, is a straight-up sadist, actively enjoying beating Rambo. Dennehy is very good, managing to find some humanity in the part despite the character’s shitty behavior. The cops are pricks for another reason. Later in the film, Rambo screams about being called a “baby killer,” being spat on by protestors. (Reported events like this are more or less urban legends.) This represents Stallone’s growing conservative politics, as he used the film to criticize an America that he believed didn’t honor the sacrifice of its soldiers. This streak would eventually grow out of control, manifesting in the boneheaded vigilantism of “Cobra” and the Reagan-era aggression of “First Blood Part II.”

As far as tone goes, “First Blood” balances between thriller and action. There are numerous exciting beats in the film. John’s acrobatic escape from the sheriff’s department, which involves both leaping and sliding kicks, concludes with an exciting motorcycle chase across town. Later on, a police car is tossed into the air after colliding with a truck. A bazooka is fired into a cave and Stallone makes a spinning jump into a valley. However, other scenes are more focused on generating darker thrills. Rambo kills three dogs, though thankfully off-screen, and spears a boar. A cop is sliced with a hand-made boobie trap. A long sequence is devoted to him crawling through a rat infested sewer. When he blows up half the town and goes nuts with a M60 machine gun, it’s decidedly not cathartic. The long scenes devoted to John’s silent brooding clarify the character’s ambiguous loyalties.

Its politics may be potentially ham-fisted but “First Blood” still features some steering stuff. Col. Troutman, played by a sarcastic but steely Richard Crenna, makes it clear that Rambo is a monster that was made, not born. As violent and unhinged as Rambo is, his behavior is brought about by his conditioning during Vietnam. The climax of the film is not so much the face-off between Rambo and Teasle. Instead, it’s when Troutman reaches Rambo. The soldier breaks down, weeping and bellowing. The shouting and yelling doesn’t help Stallone’s traditional mumbled delivery. However, the moment shows undeniable heart. When Rambo, so strong and unstoppable throughout most of the film, is huddled on the ground, a true vulnerability is shown. Though potentially ridiculous, what with the cried bellows about an exploded friend, Stallone’s acting makes the moment work. The scene is effective enough that it makes up for the movie leaving Rambo alive, when he probably should’ve ended up dead.

Further cementing “First Blood’s” classic status is Jerry Goldsmith’s unforgettable score, equally sweeping and mournful. The orchestration is good enough that even the overly earnest version of the main theme, sang by Dan Hill, works. “First Blood” lacks the discipline and relatability of “Rocky.” However, it’s an effective film in its own right. Stallone’s performance is good, the action direction is well done, and the British Columbia scenery is beautiful. Rambo would return, more roid-tastic then before, but “First Blood” remains an entertaining and emotional thriller. [7/10]

[THE STALLOWNAGE OF SLY: 5 outta 5]
[X] Frank Stallone or Frank Stallone-esque Inspirational Music
[X] Incapacitates or Kills Someone With His Body
[X] Shows Off Buffness
[X] Social Outcast [Traumatized Veteran]
[X] Sweaty, Veiny Yelling