RECENT WATCHES: Fast X (2023)

I came to the "Fast & Furious" franchise late. My best friend and former podcast co-host JD has been trying to get me into the series for years. I, however, couldn't get pass the car-bro sensibilities of the first few entries. I'm also too much of an obsessive-compulsive nerd to simply jump in at the fourth or fifth movie. The looming release of "Fast X" – supposedly the beginning of the end for the saga of Dom Torreto and his family – was the push I needed to finally indulge in this particular franchise. Over the course of a week, I raced through the previous ten movies before heading to the theaters to see "Fast X." Admittedly, I went from a "Fast" skeptic to a full-on convert by the end. While most seem to consider "Fast X" the latest disappointing installment in a series running on fumes, I'll admit I had a good time with it. Maybe Vin was right. Maybe movies like this, of such overwhelming bombast and absurdity, are best enjoyed on a big screen with a packed audience. 

Once again, Dom and his wife Letty are living in peace with their son, Little B. Once again, the mysterious Agency they've been aligned with for the last few films wants to recruit them. This time, it's to retrieve an experimental microchip traveling through Italy. Roman decides to lead the rest of the "Fast" family on this mission, Dom staying behind. That's when an injured Cipher appears at his home. She warns him that a sadistic new villain has appeared: Dante Reyes, the psychotic son of "Fast Five's" Hernan Reyes, is determined not only to destroy Dom and his family but to make sure they suffer as well. There is no microchip and the mission in Italy is a scheme by Dante. Dom and Letty try to rescue the others from Dante's plot but it goes awry. Soon, everyone is on the run from the Agency or Dante's murderous rage. 

I've commented before that the last two "Fast" movies have started to feel a bit muddled in their plotting, with so many characters running around in pursuit of increasingly unimportant MacGuffins. "Fast X" finds a perhaps inelegant solution to this problem. It essentially isolates parts of its cast to four independent storylines for most of its runtime. Dom heads to Rio, in pursuit of Dante, hoping to spare more innocents from his wicked plot. Roman, Han, Tej, and Ramsey are on-the-run from authorities through Europe, after being framed by Dante for a terrorist attack in Italy. Letty gets captured and thrown in an underground techno prison with Cipher, the former enemies forced to forge an alliance if they hope to escape. Meanwhile, Jakob Torreto rescues Little B from Dante's thugs, leading the two on a road trip across America together. Running through all these stories are appearances from two new characters, in the form of Brie Larson and Alan Ritchson as opposing members of the Agency. 

We can only speculate on why the movie is structured like this. The fact that nobody wants to work with Vin Diesel anymore might be a factor. So might Justin Lin leaving the production early on, to be replaced by graduate of the Luc Besson school of action, Louis Leterrier. Whatever the reason, I actually found this split to work fairly well. Dom's story line is by far the grimmest, with Dante playing cruel head games by endangering innocent bystander. This segment is also the heaviest on the series' trademark car stunts, featuring a brief return to its street racing roots. Letty and Cipher's prison escape movie has its own joys. Michelle Rodriguez and Charlize Theron's mutual grizzled charisma play off each other nicely. The absurdity of the techno prison setting, with its spider robots and massive air vents, amused me. As did the convoluted planning the two characters have to think up in order to escape. 

Meanwhile, the other halves of the movie are goofier than ever. Roman's gang head into a hacker shop, leading to a cameo from everyone's favorite sunken-eyed comedy star/gossip mill whipping boy. There are comedic beats here involving Han eating a pot muffin and Tyrese tossing talcum powder into the air that are totally inexplicable. Honestly, the more surreal humor blends nicely with a series that has gone so totally off the rails. The last movie that comprises "Fast X," revolving around Jakob and Brian's road trip, feels like a nineties kids movie/action flick mash-up. John Cena might as well be playing a totally different character, the fun uncle Jakob has become resembling part nine's conniving super villain not at all. Yet Cena's goofball charm seals the deal for me. By the time the former pro-wrestling superstar is driving a homemade war wagon down the freeway, launching rockets at his enemies, I really did feel like I was watching a big budget leftover from the "Suburban Commando/Double Trouble" era of action cinema. 

If the muscled-up charms of its cast are the main thing that holds "Fast X" together, this is most true of its antagonist. The "Fast" franchise didn't start getting memorable bad guys until the sixth film and Jason Momoa as Dante Reyes easily tops them all. Momoa is exactly the kind of beefy superstar you'd expect to show up in these movies. However, Momoa made the utterly inspired decision not to play Dante as a roided-up tough guy... But as a preening peacock, a camp-gay supervillain who parades through the movie in a series of gaudy outfits. Momoa is clearly having the time of his life, gloriously hamming it up as a bad guy who relishes his own fabulousness. The character's flamboyance blends well with his sadism, allowing the ridiculous excess of his evil plan to be much more easily swallowed. The over-the-top queerness of the character is an implicit threat to the hyper-macho main characters, while also allowing the series to slyly indulge in its barely bubbling-under-the-surface homoeroticism more than ever. Momoa's The Joker by way of Rip Taylor performance enlivens the entire movie and makes it substantially more entertaining than it would've been otherwise. 

Which isn't to say that the movie's main attraction – its gravity defying action scenes – aren't thoroughly amusingly in their preposterousness. The first proper action scene involves Vin and the gang chasing a giant, flaming, neutron bomb through the streets of Rome. The climatic bridge shoot-out from part five is revived, this time with Vin doing far more superhuman acts. I really can't undersell how much I enjoyed the war wagon scene with Cena as well. There's some good fisticuffs too. Cipher's escape from Dante's ambush being the first time Charlize Theron's action chops have really had a chance to shine in this series. Brie Larson, dressed as Hillary Clinton in spiky punk heels, even gets a notable action scene to herself. The climax features Dom's iconic Charger diving out of an airplane and outrunning a massive fireball. Maybe it's not as fresh as any of the chaos from "Fast Five" or six but I'm not gonna lie. I enjoyed it. 

"Fast X" is definitely very self-aware of its status as an event blockbuster, the "Infinity Wars" of this franchise. It packs its extensive runtime with multiple high-profile cameos, and to further the "Infinity Wars" comparison, ends on a downbeat cliffhanger. While you can argue about the film's merits all you want, I guess I got wrapped up in its big, doofy charms. Whether that's largely thanks to Momoa's expert hamming or just me suddenly having a fondness for this ridiculous franchise, I suppose that's for others to figure out. I'd personally would put this above the last few installments and am absolutely on the hook for "Fast X-2" or "FUR11OUS" or whatever they call it. [7/10]

RECENT WATCHES: F9: The Fast Saga (2021)

Vin Diesel gets a lot of shit and probably not unfairly. However, one thing is undeniable: The man loves the movies. Diesel's belief in the power of the theatrical experience, how it can bring people together and entrance us all under one massive screen, made him one of the big stars pushing folks to go back to theaters following the COVID-19 pandemic. His insistence that films are best enjoyed on the big screen was surely a factor in "F9: The Fast Saga" being repeatedly delayed for two years until it was safe for theaters to open again. This perhaps saddled the sequel – also Justin Lin's return to the franchise that he had defined, which had arguably suffered in his absence – with expectations it could never live up to. "F9" was intended to be just another entry in this preposterous action series. Instead, it became one of the first big releases after life ostensibly returned to normal. All the muscle cars in the world might buckle under the weight of that, of reestablishing normalcy for millions of people all over the globe. 

Dom Torreto and Letty have retired on a quiet farm, raising their son Brian. That changes when old friends arrive with concerning news: Mr. Nobody, while transporting super-criminal Cipher to prison, was kidnapped by a mysterious agent. Dom quickly deduces that the responsible party is his long-lost brother, Jakob. Soon, the "Fast" team reassembles to chase after two halves of a device that can hack any computer system in the world. Jakob, a rogue agent with plans of world domination, is after the device too, as well as the young girl who can activate it. The mission will reunite them with friends and enemies they thought where gone and take the team around the world and beyond. 

During "F9's" quiet prologue on Dom and Letty's farm, his son asks the action hero who God is. This same moment highlights the cross medal that has become Dom's trademark symbol. Is this, an utterly ridiculous action sequel seemingly most concerned with absurd new ways to blow shit up, asking serious questions about the existence of the divine? That seems to be the case. During the first major action set piece, the series obnoxious comic relief Roman Pierce miraculously survives two events that should've killed him. What could have been a meta joke about the typical action protagonists' immunity to all injury becomes a reoccurring theme. Is the "Fast" team impossibly lucky or somehow being protected by a higher power? The spiritual side of the film reaches its apex during a moment where Dom seemingly dies for a minute and visits his father in the afterlife. Having faith and trusting in the powers-that-be does indeed lead our heroes through another set of improbable circumstances. 

This is, admittedly, a gutsy theme to introduce in a series that doesn't typically seem that concerned with deeper ideas. Inevitably, this premise eventually dovetails with the most prevalent theme in this franchise. Despite his highly memed on discussion of family, we learn in this film that Dom has never forgiven his brother for his apparent role in their father's death. The fear of losing loved ones, and the drive to protect his family no matter what, drives Dom more than ever. (This idea also emerges in a key character returning from the dead in fuzzily explained fashion.) Unsurprisingly, forgiveness is eventually offered to Jakob, despite his super villain status. If the "Fast" movies are about family, above all else, "F9" considers the actual sacrifices necessary to keep those bonds together. 

That I'm managing to find any heady themes at all inside "F9" is impressive, considering this is the entry in the franchise most detached from reality. Lin and his co-conspirators were determined to top the over-the-top action in the previous films. Early on, Dom is swinging his Charger over a gorge by tangling his front axel in a rope. Later, Dom pulls down part of the ceiling on his attackers, his action hero strength long since risen to the level of superhuman. By the end, "F9" pushes into the realm of science-fiction. Yes, this is the one where Tej and Roman fly a rocket-car into a space. That's a moment so deliriously unrealistic that it seems largely tongue-in-cheek, the franchise admitting its own ridiculousness. Somehow, this is more believable than the shenanigans involving an enormous super-magnet tossing people and cars all through a city that comprises much of the past act. 

While I have no issues with the "Fast" franchise's commitment to beyond-the-impossible action awesomeness, once again the constant doubling-down feels more exhausting than exhilarating. The final act becomes a tangled mess of double-crosses and betrayals, the vaguely defined MacGuffins driving the plot long since getting lost in the mix. The pyrotechnics go to such levels that the final image, of a massive armored bus flipping through the air, almost feels underwhelming compared to everything that came before. As in "The Fate of the Furious," the need to pack the movie as full of as much car-related mayhem as possible, alongside the needs of an ever-expanding cast, means the film concludes in a pile-up of set pieces and subplots. 

"F9" does push above its predecessor in one way. Charlize Theron's Cipher – back this time but not yet graduated to a member of the family – was a delightfully campy villain last time. Still, Dom having a morally ambiguous brother is a far better gimmick for an antagonist. The flashbacks are possibly the best thing about the sequel, expanding on the backstory of its hero and finally showing us the trauma that forged him. John Cena is clearly having a good time as a Bond-style supervillain. (The unlikeliness of a "Nordic strongman" like Cena being related to someone who looks like Vin Diesel is so absurd that the script has to comment on it.) Jakob's eventual heel-face turn, to borrow a pro-wrestling term, can be predicated from his first second on-screen. There is something satisfying in watching it unfold though. 

While far from a box office failure, "F9: The Fast Saga" did not join the billion-dollar club like the last two entries in the series. I don't know if this speaks to movie theaters' slow recovery from COVID or if the public is simply tiring of the turbo-charged antics of these movies. The novelty is definitely starting to fade, as the series focuses more on pushing their stunts further and juggling its wide-ranging family of characters. Despite its flaws, "F9" is still a reasonably entertaining time at the movies. I guess the ridiculous charms of these flicks have long since won me over by this point. [6/10]

RECENT WATCHES: The Fate of the Furious (2017)

Since the characters became millionaires at the end of “Fast Five,” there's really been no narrative reason for the “Fast & Furious” franchise to roll on. Not that anyone is making these movies for the art, at this point. “Furious 7” made it into the billion dollar club, completely insuring that we'd be getting more of these ridiculous spectacles. F. Gary Gray, right off the success of “Straight Outta Compton,” was recruited to steer yet another entry in this turbo-charged series. The amusingly entitled "The Fate of the Furious" would roar into theaters in April of 2017. It would be another massive hit, also grossing over a billion dollars at the international box office. Depending on who you ask though, this is when the wheels start to fall off the “Fast” machine.

While on their second honeymoon in Havana with Letty, Dom is approached by a mysterious woman known only as Cipher. Meanwhile, Luke Hobbs recruits the rest of the gang to capture a EMP device from an extremist faction in Europe. That's when Dom appears, turns on his make-shift family, and steals the EMP. Mr. Nobody pulls the familiar players together to figure out what has happened and defeat Cipher. Hobbs ends up in jail with Shaw, the two eventually busting out together and joining the mission. Nobody knows the reason Dom is working for Cipher: She has the son he didn't know existed and is blackmailing him to be part of her terrorist plot to take over the world.

As has often been joked about and referenced, “family” has emerged as the uniting theme of the latter-day “Fast” movies. Having Dom switch sides, seemingly betraying his family (but actually out of further obligation to them), pushes that idea further. It's also the exact kind of comic book style plotting I've come to expect from this increasingly far-fetched universe. However, there's a problem with inserting such a standard “What if the good guy switches side?” set-up. Without the fatherly figure of Dom Toretto to head this familia, things begin to feel a bit aimless. Forcing Vin Diesel back into the stoic tough guy mode he started in robs him of his charm. He seems so checked-out through large parts of this movie, one scene further removing his humanity by placing him in bulky armor and a mask, like a car-driving Jason Voorhees or Iron Man. Turning Dom into a traitor sullies the hang-out movie vibes that propels this series.

That story turn also represents another clear phenomenon: Writer Chris Morgan starting to run out of ideas. Plot ranks somewhere around the level of catering in importance to these films. However, there's no denying that the story is a mess. The exact nature of the world-endangering MacGuffin seems to change from scene-to-scene sometimes. It's obviously nothing more than a plot device to get the crew from one set piece to the next. The finale takes place in a Siberian submarine port overtaken by some other occupying forces, one example of the kind of plot points that come at the audiences nearly as fast as the cars do. Dom asking a favor of a mysterious new character or the sudden appearances of jet packs are other examples. The vehicular mayhem has always led the rest of the plot around in these movies. The action scenes driving the story, instead of the other way around, starts to feel like a problem.

Balancing out such a large cast continues to be an issue too. The subplots involving Dom's child, Hobbs, or the Shaws sometimes feel like another movie interceding on this one. There are other new characters thrown in too. The least inspired of which is charisma void Scott Eastwood as Mr. Nobody's sidekick. The best of which is Charlize Theron as Cipher, the seductive villain. Like everything else, she's a ridiculous character. The kind of pseudo-profound dialogue Theron has to rattle off – such as a strangled metaphor about watering holes and crocodiles – is truly baffling. Yet Theron is a pro, bringing a sinister curl of her lips to each absurd line, making an otherwise generic villain – also revealed to be the Author of All Dom's Pain, another bad cliché of modern blockbuster writing – way more appealing than she'd otherwise be.

Despite the tangled mess of a screenplay and a number of questionable narrative choices, “The Fate of the Furious” still works when centering its hyper-macho cast of goofy bros. I'm not talking about Tyrese's Rome, who becomes more annoying and inessential with every film, or Michelle Rodriguez' Letty, dragged along by the plot. Instead, the cock-measuring contest between Dwayne Johnson's Hobbs and Jason Statham's Shaw is definitely the highlight of the film. The constant trash-talking between these two, which immediately escalates to homoerotic tension and then mutual respect, is highly amusing. That's what you get when you paired two physical titans with gallons of charm against each other. That unexpected cameo also proves that letting extremely charming performers bounce off each other is the real strength of these films.

That brings me to the action sequences. There are definitely some good moments. Rodriguez gets a good one-on-one fight with a goon, that ends in a nicely grisly way. Statham and Johnson's escape from cyber-jail features their respective fighting styles – brute force and parkour – contrasting nicely. Statham is at the center of the film's other best moment, where he has to kill lots of creeps while protecting a baby. 

The movie actually peaks early as far as its vehicular stunts go. The opening street race, where Dom pushes a jalopy way past its limit, is by far the best car moment in the film. Later scenes, such as when Cipher's super-hacking turns every thing with wheels into a weapon, feel a bit desperate. This franchise falling to its need to make cars the currency of every action scene. (Dom managing to kill a submarine with a muscle car is the normal level of desperate for this series.) The extremely long climax, and the unending vehicular mayhem it involves, started to bore me quickly. Explosions and twisted metal aren't enough sometimes. 

You don't see much of F. Gary Gray's personal style in this one. A rare dutch angle or some smooth cinematography for a few seconds is about all you get. Otherwise, macho melees, CGI chaos, and lots of pyrotechnics characterizes this installment. Even when those moments are effectively done, “The Fate of the Furious” feels a bit self-conscious about its desire to always top itself and earlier entries. That's led to a scrambled script and repetitive action that too often puts the best elements in the backseat. [6/10]

Director Report Card: James Wan (2015)

7. Furious 7 (2015)

Over the course of four movies, Justin Lin managed to transform the “Fast and the Furious” series from a humble trilogy of immediately dated car flicks to one of the most popular action/adventure franchises on the planet. The fifth and sixth installment especially moved past the simple stories of street racing into elaborate heist plots with enormous action set pieces. This naturally made Lin one of the most in-demand directors around. He was so in-demand that another studio scooped him up for their own blockbuster, Lin jumping to Paramount to make “Star Trek Beyond.” This opened the door for another filmmaker of Asian descent to enter. James Wan would make the leap from horror films to blockbuster cinema with “Furious 7,” proving he wasn't only talented with low budget tales of ghosts and serial killers. It would be a great move for Wan, beginning the next chapter of his career.

Picking up from “Fast & Furious 6's” mid-credits teaser, “Furious 7” begins with the simplest of set-ups. Deckard Shaw wants revenge on Dom Torreto for what he did to his brother, Owen. First, he kills Han, then he attacks Hobbs, and lastly sets his sights on Brian O'Conor and his family. Dom rides into action, taking on Shaw personally. That's when the mysterious government agent, Mr. Nobody, steps in. He promises to help Dom take down Shaw if his team recovers a super-powerful surveillance device known as God's Eye, along with the hacker who created it. The “Fast” family are thrusts into an international adventure, involving terrorists and drones, while Dom and Shaw prepare for their inevitable face-off. 

By its seventh entry, the “Fast” franchise has long since outgrown its humble roots as a series about street racing. The last three installments established these movies are international affairs with more than a passing resemblance to Bond or Ocean. “Furious 7” pushes this conceit further. Throughout this adventure, the Torreto gang travels from London, to America to Japan, Azerbaijan, and Abu Dhabi, before heading back to Los Angeles for the big finale. Considering these movies have always been popular overseas, it's not surprising that the studio would insist “Furious 7” be more of a global adventure than ever before. 

In order to facilitate such a globe-trotting adventure, what probably should've been a simple revenge plot gets ridiculously convoluted. I guess the premise of  Shaw seeking revenge on Dom and the gang wouldn't have provided enough material for a 139 minute run time. Instead, the story's primary antagonist disappears for long stretches while the heroes pursue a practically unrelated plot device. Oh sure, there are token attempts to tie Shaw in with the entire God's Eye story line. They feel tenuous at best. “Furious 7” sometimes feels like two separate ideas for a sequel where hastily smashed together, in order to make a bigger – and, consequently, more crowded and contrived – follow-up.

Why screenwriter Chris Morgan – who has been shepherding this franchise since the third film – felt the need to get quite so complex with the plot is something I can only speculate on. The fact that this, the most ridiculously exaggerated of blockbusters, has to involve advanced surveillance technology and war drones raises some question. Are we so numb to the every day presence of these things, these aspect of the dystopian future we're all living in, that general audiences don't blink at their inclusion? Or is this some sort of half-assed commentary on the state of the world? It's hard to say, as no clear point is made about these things. Other than they are bad, I guess. At this point, the “Fast” movies are basically science fiction, making me wonder why Morgan and Wan didn't simply push the MacGuffin technology further into the realm of the impossible, rather than reminding us of U.S. war crimes in our goofball action movie.

How goofball is this sequel exactly? Paul Walker running up the side of an armored truck as it falls off a cliff is among the least memorable sights here. By this point, the “Fast” films are definitely self-aware of their own reputation for ridiculous bullshit. This is presumably why the movie commits to the utterly insane image of the heroes parachuting out of an airplane while inside their trademark cars. After all, it's accepted knowledge that Dom Torreto has superpowers as long as he's behind the wheel of an automobile. That's why he survives ramping off a cliff side, plummeting down the mountain or later using his vehicle as a battering ram against the villain's helicopter. The trademark action set pieces involve a souped-up sports car rocketing between not one but two skyscrapers. This level of CGI tomfoolery, watching the movie top itself in terms of over-the-top mayhem, is exactly the point of the franchise by this point. 

I can appreciate some utterly absurd, digital action shenanigans as much as the next guy. The one-on-one fight scenes continue to prove to be the bigger distraction here. The movie knows what side its bread is buttered on, by having its two biggest action heroes beat the shit out of each other within the opening minutes. The Rock and Jason Statham toss each other through glass walls and into desks, body slams and flying punches a-plenty going down. Of course, Vin and Statham have to duke it out before the end too, which they do in a similarly acrobatic melee. However, a surprise fight between an otherwise wooden Ronda Rousey, brought in as a special guest fighter primarily to grapple with Michelle Rodriguez, is a real highlight. It's certainly more believable than Paul Walker besting Tony Jaa, one of the great on-screen martial artists of our time, in a close quarters battle.

At this point, the size of the "Fast" family has started to grow a bit ungainly. There's about ten or eleven central characters here. Smartly, the script sidelines a few of them. Hobbs is laid up in the hospital for most of the movie, though the Rock is still available to kick some ass, carry a massive gun, and deliver macho one-liners. Jordana Brewster's Mia Torreto and Elsa Pataky's Elena are more-or-less written out of the story. Despite that, juggling the remaining cast members is getting shaky. Ludacris' Tej doesn't have much to do beyond press buttons behind a computer console, while Tyrese's Rome has officially been reduced to the role of dumb-ass comic relief. The jokes he's given are so clunky that you really wonder why he's being kept around at this point.

These cast are always expanding too. Kurt Russell drops in as Mr. Nobody, the government liaison. It's a role anyone could've played but Russell's ability to turn the hoariest of exposition into poetry elevates it greatly. Though the movie kindly gives him one action scene to himself. The rest of the new additions aren't as memorable. Nathalie Emmanuel is cute and all as Ramsey, the super-hacker at the plot's center, but she's not much more than a plot device. That's at least more than Djimon Hounsou gets, as the film's secondary baddie. All he really does is stand around and look intimidating, a total waste of Hounou's talents.

Ultimately, these are only minor supporting characters. When Jason Statham made his cameo appearance during the end credits of “Fast & Furious 6,” it was a moment designed to get a huge cheer out of the audience. Statham is of the same generation of action stars as Diesel and Dwayne Johnson. Getting all these modern icons in a movie together was a huge deal, obviously. Placing Statham as the antagonist against the rest of the team was another smart move, allowing the tough guy to do his thing. He swaggers through multiple scenes, glaring and coughing one-liners in that distinctive accent. The kind of indelible screen presence Statham has adds so much to a role that would've been utterly forgettable in anyone else's hands. He's an invaluable addition to the film.

“Furious 7” would become the biggest hit in the franchise yet, the first of the series to cross the billion dollar mark worldwide. It's easy to assume that the non-stop carnage of the last act might have something to do with this. International audiences are known to crave explosions and shoot-outs. Yet the continuous mayhem of the last act is honestly a bit deafening after a while. There's only so many scenes of machine guns shattering concrete and cars swerving around fireballs I can take before I get a bit numb to it. At over two hours long, “Furious 7” definitely wares the viewer down a bit before it's over. 

I think another factor, however, might've given this installment the extra novelty to make it the biggest of the series. We're all well aware of Paul Walker's unexpected passing before the film was released, ironically in a fast car not unlike any of the ones his character drives in this movie. As much as “Furious 7” is preoccupied with pyrotechnics, it's also something of a tribute to Walker. The role his character's family plays is repeatedly emphasized. A lengthy epilogue is inserted obviously as a way to honor Walker and send his character off. It's an emotionally overwrought moment, that seems weirdly maudlin if you somehow aren't aware of Walker's passing. It's nice too. Oversized sentimentality has always been the secret weapons of these movies and I'm glad the time was taken to make this ending meaningful.

While there are signs that James Wan brought his particular style to “Furious 7,” it's obviously this was a work-for-hire gig for him. He wanted to prove to studio execs that he could be trusted with the keys to a massive action franchise. Considering “Furious 7” went on to become one of the highest grossing movies of all time, I think he more than succeeded in that goal. Like all of these sublimely silly motion pictures, “Furious 7” is definitely entertaining. It's too absurd not to be. The constant need to top itself in terms of collateral damage and the struggles of balancing out such an overgrown cast does weigh the movie down some, even if Statham's sinew and some giant action shenanigans got me to smile too. [Grade: B-]

RECENT WATCHES: Fast & Furious 6 (2013)

By 2013, the Marvel Cinematic Universe had come to rule the multiplexes. Other studios were eager to copy that successful formula. While there's been no shortage of superhero epics in the last decade, Universal managed to retrofit the “The Fast and the Furious” into something like their own Marvel universe  in one important way. That would be the mid-credit teasers setting up the next adventure. “Fast Five” ended in a fairly final place but a last minute scene happily set up another installment. Two years later, that promise would be delivered on with “Fast & Furious 6.” Justin Lin was back behind the camera, with the all the important cast members back too. Predictably, it was another enormous hit but could it top the last one in terms of action?

Hobbs is pursuing an internationally wanted super-criminal by the name of Owen Shaw. Shaw is attempting to assemble a “Nightshade” device, a weapon that can shut off all power in a country, and only needs one more part to complete it. He decides to lure Dom Torreto and the rest of his crew out of retirement to help him. He accomplishes this with one important clue. Letty, Dom's presumed dead wife, is part of Shaw's team. This convinces Dom, Brian, and the rest to gather in London and take down this newest threat, all while attempting to figure out what happened to Letty.

We're now six installments into this turbo-charged franchise and it's built up a surprisingly lovable ensemble. One of the simplest joys of “Fast & Furious 6” is simply watching these characters bounce off each other. The film delights in pairing these guys up in novel ways. Such as Rome and Han discussing the nuances of relationships or Rome and Tej shit-talking while playing around with a massive spear gun. Gal Gadot's Giselle – definitely the least well-defined of this troupe –  gets some charming moments, when interacting with Sung Kang or new recruit to the team, Gina Carano. We've built up enough of an attachment to this group that seeing them interact and screw around is as much fun as the enormous action set-pieces.

Something the “Fast” films have lacked, up to this point, are truly memorable enemies. The last two movies especially – I'm excluding Hobbs from this, as he eventually joins the good guys, "Dragonball Z" style – had indistinct crime bosses as their antagonists. “Furious 6” manages to cook up a supervillain worthy of its increasingly overpowered heroes. Luke Evans – who Hollywood was really trying to turn into a star in the 2010s – appears as Owen Shaw. He's a super-capable bad-ass with specialized gadgets and weapons at his disposal, including hockey pucks he can attached to other cars to control them. Shaw also has a team of henchmen identified as evil counterparts of Dom's crew. Evans can certainly handle being a ruthless baddie with a sinister sneer, despite the script providing him with little in the way of depth.

Not that character depth is what we watch these movies for. No, we sit down for a “Fast” movie because we want to see some gravity defying stunts. “Furious 6” certainly delivers in that regard. Shaw's coolest gadget is an armored dune-buggy designed to launch other cars into the air, which happens repeatedly. I really never get tired of seeing cars corkscrew through the air. Probably the movie's trademark sequence involves a tank being unleashed on a freeway. This is a sequence that only escalates in absurdity as it goes along. Countless cars are pancaked under the tank treads, a muscle car is slowly shredded, and the climax to the scene – involving Vin Diesel sailing through the air in slow-motion – is hysterical. As memorable as this particular sequence is, I'm glad the movie made room for some close quarters melees too. It would've been a waste to slot Carano and Joe Taslim in the cast and not having them do some fighting. Taslim's fight scene, which involves kicking Tyrese through multiple planes of glass, is probably the best.

Melodrama is nothing new to this particular franchise. “Furious 6” features that most hackneyed of soap opera plot devices: Amnesia. Letty is working with the bad guys, and was thought dead, because she has no memories of her past with Dom. This is a solid way to retcon Michelle Rodriguez's clumsy death in the previous movie, while also giving her a juicier character arc. This is far from the movie's only narrative contrivances. There's a lengthy subplot that drops Brian into prison, a long ways to go just to confirm a simple plot point. Because movies were still ripping off “The Dark Knight” at this point, the bad guy gets captured on-purpose as part of his master plan. I don't think a “Fast and the Furious” movie needs a story that takes this many detours is my point.

While its cast of characters are doubtlessly a benefit to this film, by the final act, I was losing track of where everyone was a little bit. The elaborate finale, which involves dragging a massive air bus to the ground, has each member of Dom's team sparing off with their own partner or adversary. So much is happening, with the film cutting back and forth between each confrontation, that you feel a bit overwhelmed. The obvious money-shots in these scenes, such as Vin and the Rock taking down a musclebound baddie together, get lost in the shuffle of so much happening.

Despite some serious flaws, “Fast & Furious 6” still places high in my personal ranking of this franchise. The action sequences are really fabulous, with the movie balancing genuinely impressive stunt work and amusingly absurd digital fakery. The cast is still fun to hang out with and the script provides a suitably intimidating adversary. I don't really ask for much more from these films than that. [7/10]

RECENT WATCHES: Fast Five (2011)

“Fast & Furious” ended on a cliffhanger, suggesting Universal was very confident in the retooled franchise. The film was another hit, paving the way for “Fast Five” two years later. This seems to be the point where public opinion on the series started to shift. The first four were dismissed by critics and divisive among action fans. They had passionate defenders but a large group derided the “Fast” films as dumb-ass shit for dumb-ass shitheads. “Fast Five,” however, successfully transformed this into a series that reveled in its own ridiculous awesomeness. This kind of beyond-the-beyond audacity – which recalled the over-the-top action classics of the eighties – quickly won over a lot of folks I trust, really getting my attention. 

After busting Dom out of prison, the Torettos and Brian relocate to Rio de Janeiro. In need of cash, they agree to a risky heist aboard a moving train. It quickly goes pear-shaped but after the gang makes off with an especially valuable car. Inside the vehicle is a chip containing all the financial information of Hernan Reyes, the most powerful drug lord in Brazil. After Mia announces she's pregnant with Brian's child, Dom decides they are going to steal Reyes' millions as one last job. A group of new and old faces are called in to assist such an ambitious heist. Meanwhile, DSS agent Luke Hobbs – believing the Toretto gang murdered several DEA agents – pursues the racers ruthlessly. With Reyes' men also on their trail, things quickly escalate. 

The fourth “Fast” movie moved the series in the direction of globe-trotting action extravaganza. The fifth entry presents a more unified vision for the franchise by literally bringing together the divergent casts from the previous films. Matt Schulze's Vince returns for the first time since the original. “Tokyo Drift's” Han becomes a major player, following his cameo in part four. Ludacris' Tej and Tyrese's Rome from “2 Fast 2 Furious” join the rest of the team. Even Gal Gadot's Gisele from the last one comes back. More familiar faces show-up during the mid-credits scene. When so many long-running series are happy to slam the reboot button, I'll admit that “Fast Five” embracing the history of the franchise is charming. 

If I knew nothing else about these movies going into it, I knew that it was all about one uniting theme: Family. This really comes to the forefront in this installment. Dom agrees to one last job precisely because he wants his little sister and in-coming nephew to be taken care of. Vince is immediately forgiven for any past transgression and accepted back into the group entirely because he's part of Torreto's found family. That idea is presumably why this installment brings back so many established characters, to emphasize that family isn't just about blood but about who you choose. As goofy as this premise is in execution – some of these folks have known each other for a few days – it can't help but play out as kind of sweet. Vin's big speech around barbecue and beer... It's cute, ya know? Makes it feel like you're hanging out with these misfits and goofballs too.

Of course, to go up against such a memorable group of characters, you need an especially colorful antagonist. The film found that in the form of Dwayne Johnson, pro-wrestler turned one of the biggest movie stars in the world. He plays Hobbs, a super-tough agent sent to hunt down our heroes. The role utilizes Johnson's best attributes. That would be his massive physical presence and his way with a trash-talking one-liner. Hobbs isn't only a mountain of a man, clearly capable of taking down any opponent he encounters. He's also a fast-talker, casually hurling insults and colorful turns-of-phrases at those around him. In other words, the Rock was exactly the kind of bigger-than-life character necessary to play an opposing force 

The movie is well aware of what the Rock's presence means too. One of the show-stopping set pieces is a melee between Johnson and Vin Diesel, which features both men getting tossed through multiple walls. That's one of my favorite action beats in the film and also one of its more grounded. This is, after all, a movie that begins with a car jack-knifing a bus and causing it to flip through the air several times. That's not the real opening set piece either. That would be a ludicrous – but not Ludicris, he shows up later – sequence involving a truck, a train, a bridge, and a slow-mo dive into a river. The movie never quite tops that moment but its finale, where a massive bank vault dragged behind a muscle car and weaponized, sure as hell tries. Most impressively, the movie uses more practical effects than you might think. That gives these ridiculous stunt sequences a lot more heft and weight, making them exactly the kind of crazy action filmmaking I'd admire.

Built around these over-the-top sequences of vehicular mayhem is a fairly standard heist movie. I think anybody familiar with the genre knows that the plan set in place early in the film will naturally go wrong. The movie wouldn't be telling us this information if it didn't plan on subverting it. What's most fun about heist pictures is watching a group of bandits with highly specialized skills working out a complex scheme to solve some convoluted problem. “Fast Five” provides us with just that, as Dom's gang perfects a number of technique and wacky schemes to break into the vault central to the story. A moment involving exploding toilets is especially amusing.

“Fast Five” really feels like it could've been the final installment in the series, leaving all of our misfit heroes in a comfortable place. Of course, things were really only beginning for this gang at this point. If I've been a little baffled by the massive popularity of these movies up to now, “Fast Five” is when it really started to click into place for me. It's big, loud, and dumb but I can't deny that I didn't enjoy myself the whole time. [7/10]

RECENT WATCHES: Fast & Furious (2009)

“The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift” was still a box office success but it grossed one hundred million dollars less than its predecessor. Normally, this would simply mean the end of the series. In a Hollywood landscape more obsessed with on-going sagas than ever, Universal wasn't ready to give up. Instead, Vin Diesel would finally be talked into making a proper return to the role of Dom Torreto. This essentially made “Fast & Furious,” the fourth entry in the franchise, the first real sequel to the original. Justin Lin would be retained as director from “Tokyo Drift,” turning the car-centric franchise into a bigger, more international affair that more-or-less rebooted the series into a totally different type of blockbuster. 

Dom is up to his old tricks again, pulling off daring freeway heist with his gang in the Dominican Republic. After an especially dangerous stunt, he decides to go his separate ways from his long-time lover Letty. Shortly afterwards, she's seemingly killed, sending Dom on a roaring rampage of revenge. Meanwhile, re-instated FBI agent Brian O'Conner is on the trail of notorious drug lord, Braga. It's not long before Dom and Brian cross paths again, both ending up competing to become drivers for Braga. The two foes-turned-friends-turned-foes again must team-up to avenge Letty and take down the bad guy, on a quest that will take them all over North and Central America.

The change in priories represented by “Fast & Furious” is evident in one very big way: There's less focus on the cars. Oh, sure, there's still an extended race sequence and lots of vehicular mayhem. Driving cars fast is still the main characters' superpowers. The lack of lingering close-ups on shiny chrome and polished hubs shows that the fourth film was designed to be less of a car movie and more of a general action/adventure flick. You also see this in the story structure. Dom Toretto is centered in a standard revenge narrative, that sees him fighting off a drug cartel via punching, shooting, and explosions. The way Dom and Brian's adventure takes them all over Central America, in pursuit of a colorful bad guy, also can't help but be a little reminiscent of a James Bond flick. If the first three “Fast” flicks were somewhat trendy movies meant to capitalize on the early 2000's fascination with street racing, “Fast & Furious” clearly sought to push the franchise forward into a more generalized action movie direction. 

By this point in their careers, Vin Diesel and Paul Walker were much more established talents. With an extra seven years on the silver screen, both are more assured in their performances and on-screen personas. Walker's introductory scene has him chasing a perp through a building, before both go sailing out a window onto a parked vehicle. His shows that Brian O'Connor is a more grizzled, experienced agent by this point. The older, more stubbly Walker fits into that role well, following expanding the character pass his dude-bro roots. Vin, meanwhile, has gotten more monstrously jacked since the first film. This furthers his transformation into a superhuman action hero, who threatens to crush random goons with engine blocks and tosses bad guys through car doors. This sphere of Schwarzeneggerian excess is exactly where someone like Diesel excels. 

Fittingly, the action here goes from the merely preposterous to utterly cartoonish. The opening freeway heist has Dom and his team jacking a truck along a perilous mountain road, a reasonable event by this series' measure. It ends with Dom rocketing his car underneath a flaming tanker as it rolls down the hill. The level of CGI effects work necessary to pull off such an elevated stunt is high, lending a degree of unreality to events early on. It is a bit of a shock to go from the more grounded stunt work in “Tokyo Drift” to the Marvel movie style mayhem here. Probably the moment that best balances this push-and-pull between an ostensibly realistic setting and utterly absurd action is a street race midway through the film. There's some cool stunt driving, weaving in and out of traffic, and more than a few over-the-top wrecks. 

Honestly, I found myself wondering throughout “Fast & Furious” if this kind of elevated action suited the series, at least as it existed up to this point. I found myself missing the more practical stunt driving that was the highlights of the first and third films. Yet, by the time “Fast & Furious” reaches its climatic chase, I was won over by it. That particular sequence is a claustrophobic race through a series of underground tunnels along the Mexican border, which is tensely directed by Justin Lin. The tight surroundings and speeding cars causes the suspense to ratchet up and leads to a few inventive set pieces. The sequence then climaxes with a moment so supremely silly – I wasn't kidding when I said that fast cars were Dom's superpower now – that I couldn't help but love it. 

By moving the story outside the realm of street racing, “Fast & Furious” finally graduates this franchise from totally predictable half-assed scripts to more standard blockbuster screenwriting. This does not mean the film leaves the melodrama of the first three installments behind. By putting them on opposite sides of the law again, Dom and Brian's rivalry is still centered in the story, now with the extra layer of betrayal. This climaxes during a wonderfully ridiculous wrestling match between the two, during which Vin slams Walker through a pantry. Naturally, Diesel seeking revenge for his murdered wife is exactly the kind of macho fantasy movies like this cater too. That includes a gorgeous new woman throwing herself at him – a pre-”Wonder Woman” Gal Gadot – that he naturally rebuffs. For what it's worth, there is a semi-decent twist concerning who the actual villain is, which shows more thought was definitely put into this one.

It seems safe to consider “Fast & Furious” a transitional film for this particular series. From here, these movies would go further over-the-top, as opposed to the doofy but basically earth-bounded earlier entries. This naturally tracks with the “Fast” films morphing from nothing but car porn to bigger budget action-fests intended for a more general audience. There's definitely some bumps along the way but, by the end, I found myself on the same page as this ridiculous spectacle. [7/10]

RECENT WATCHES: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)

Vin Diesel passed on “2 Fast 2 Furious” because he thought the script sucked. He compared it to an eighties style sequel, where familiar characters are slotted into an unrelated story to keep the money train rolling. That's actually a fair description of the film but the sequel still made 236 million worldwide. Universal execs must've come to the conclusion that “The Fast and the Furious” didn't need Vin Diesel. Perhaps a sequel didn't need any of the established characters. This theory would be tested in “The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift,” a movie more-or-less unconnected to the previous films save for the premise of street-racing. 

17-year-old Sean Boswell can't seem to stay out of trouble. One day while leaving school, he earns the scorn of Brad from “Home Improvement.” This results in a drag race that ends with the jock injured and Sean's car totaled. Fed up, his mom ships him off to Tokyo to live with his dad. Sean doesn't stay out of trouble for long though. He soon makes of acquaintance of grifter Twinkie, who introduces him to Han. A star mechanic in the world of drift racing, Han soon takes Sean under his wing as his driver and courier. Sean catches the eye of Neela, the girlfriend of local racing star (and nephew of a Yakuza boss) Takashi. Rivalries intensify, things get more dangerous, and Sean is embroiled in the world of underground Tokyo drift racing. 

On paper, “The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift” is really no more-or-less preposterous and derivative than the previous two entries in the franchise. The opening race scene sets up a ludicrous series of events. The likelihood of Sean encountering the two other people who speak English in the middle of this bustling Japanese metropolis seems low. The minute Han first gets a look at the kid, we know the exact beats of their mentor/student relationship that are coming. Furthermore, you see how the pieces are going to fall into place on the path to that climatic race scene early on as well. The fish-out-of-water premise is never fully utilized, Sean integrating himself into Japanese culture very quickly. The exotic setting doesn't go too far beyond the lay-out of the tracks and the color of the supporting cast. The final race doesn't even take place in Tokyo but on a nondescript mountain. 

All of this is obviously true but I still found myself a lot more involved in “Tokyo Drift” than its predecessors. Sean Boswell is a ridiculous character, a supposed high schooler who looks like he's pushing thirty. Lucas Black's country-bumpkin accent is only the most obviously ridiculous element of this cartoonish character. However, I have to admit the movie got me to like Sean. He stands up for his friend – the absurdly named Twinkie, played by the artist formally known as Lil' Bow-Wow – when they are bullied by one of Takeshi's generals. He also never gives up. He keeps pushing through the opening drag race, after the bully starts to slam his car into his. He drags his scrapped vehicle up the parking garage during his first drift race. That kind of tenacity, not to mention a willingness to stand up for a little guy, can't help but endear this goofball to me.

Universal managed to lure in up-and-coming filmmaker Justin Lin to direct “Tokyo Drift.” You can tell Lin put his own stamp on material that he was not initially enthusiastic about. The most obvious of these touches is the character of Han, who originates in Lin's earlier film, “Better Luck Tomorrow.” Sung Kang, as Han, is acting on a different level than everyone else in the movie. There's a lived-in quality to his performance that makes it more real, more nuanced than the pulpy material around him. This makes the totally expected friendship that forms between him and Sean a lot more involving. The film definitely looses something once Kang exits it, though Lin is smart enough to put Sonny Chiba in a prominent role to drum up further interest. 

It's not like anyone was watching the third “Fast and the Furious” movie and expecting rich characterization and award-winning acting. Nah, this is a car movie. In that regard, “Tokyo Drift” definitely delivers as well. Perhaps learning a lesson from the abuse of CGI in “2 Fast 2 Furious,” Lin makes sure to mix real cars and digital replicas with a lot more subtly this time. There's only a few moments of obvious blue screen work and notable computer graphics here. Otherwise, “Tokyo Drift” is happy to deliver some high speed racing, shiny Japanese vehicles swerving around turns and weaving through traffic. The editing is fast paced but not incoherent, the camerawork and cutting doing a good job of putting the viewer in the seat of the cars. The wrecks are pretty spectacular too, with lots of twisted metal and spinning bodies. 

In other words, Justin Lin was given a shit assignment with “Tokyo Drift.” The disconnect from the rest of the franchise – if not for a literal last minute cameo, there would be no link to the earlier films at all – combined with the goofy high school premise made this seem like one of Universal's direct-to-video sequels given a big budget boost. Out of this less than inspiring material, the filmmaker managed to put together a pretty entertaining flick. The stunt work is strong, directed and assembled nicely. While I would not go so far as to say there's much in the way of pathos here, “Tokyo Drift” has more heart in it than expected. That goes a long way in a franchise so terminally brainless up to this point. [6/10]

RECENT WATCHES: 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

Following the surprise success of “The Fast and the Furious,” it was evident that Universal had a new franchise on their hands. It was also extremely evident what fans of the first film wanted. Vin Diesel was the break-out star of the original and audiences were eager to see him zooming around in shiny cars once again. Diesel – either showing some long-term savvy or a superstar ego that would quickly become infamous – declined to return, focusing instead on the “xXx” and “Riddick” series. Producer Neal H. Moritz was not deterred and chose to continue the “Fast” saga with Paul Walker's Brian character instead. Given the instantly meme-able title of “2 Fast 2 Furious,” the sequel would attract a surprisingly high-profile director. Academy Award nominee John Singleton was apparently a fan of the first movie and was eager to direct part two.

Following the fall-out of the first film, O'Connor is no longer a cop. Now, he's a professional street racer in Miami. After getting busted following a race, Brian is reeled back in by the FBI. He's talked into going undercover as a driver for drug lord Carter Verone. Brian invites his former best friend, Roman Pearce, into accompanying him on this mission. Pearce doesn't trust Brian anymore, blaming his once buddy for sending him to prison. The promise of clemency lures in both men, who soon discover how dangerous Verone is. The two men attempt to take down the villain with the help of a local super-mechanic and the sexy undercover agent already embedded with him. 

It goes without saying that, on his worst day, John Singleton was a better director than Rob Cohen. He mimics some of Cohen's questionable choices from the first movie here. There's one CGI dive into the bowels of a car's engine and several shots of people pressing the Nos button and making "Wow!" faces. The story still pauses for a totally gratuitous montage of girls in bikinis. The film begins with a hilariously goofy moment, of the Universal logo turning into a spinning rim. Otherwise, Singleton displays much more confident, visually stronger filmmaking. The editing is quick-paced but coherent. The action scenes are smoothly organized. In many obvious ways, "2 Fast 2 Furious" is an improvement over the first film. 

However, the sequel is not superior to the original in at least one important way, perhaps the only facet that actually matters in this franchise: The car stunts simply aren't as good. Oh, there's a few decent peel-outs and swerves. The practical effects highlight of the movie is definitely when a muscle car gets dragged under the wheels of a trailer and pancaked. Singleton certainly goes out of his way to include as much car porn as possible, lovingly displaying the shiny chrome bodies and suped-up interiors of all the star vehicles. 

Unfortunately, the sequel relies on digital effects far more than the first "Furious." That is its downfall, as the CGI cars look like utter shit. The opening race climaxes with Brian and his rivals boosting their cars over a draw bridge, leading to a truly cartoonish shot of computer-generated cars sailing through the air. This is matched by some ghastly compositing work during the "Dukes of Hazard" inspired finale. There are several shots of the stars awkwardly blue-screened into digital cars that would've looked more at home in a PlayStation 2 game. I know this series eventually becomes, and essentially always has been, live action cartoons. The ostensibly grounded mood of this one, however, is really spoiled by such visually unappealing effects work. 

Without the thrill of real cars smashing into shit and daring stunt driving, what can "2 Fast 2 Furious" offer? The script is still extremely derivative. Brian and Rome's smart-assed rivals-turned-best-buds arc has played out in roughly a hundred other buddy cop movies. It's extremely obvious when the bad guy will uncover the heroes' deception, leaving the audience to wait until the clichés snap into place. I do think "2 Fast 2 Furious" is somewhat better written than the first. The supporting cast and various subplots – including campy roles for Ludacris and Devon Aoki – are utilized better than the first film's. Having an actual villain this time, played by an amusingly hammy Cole Hauser, also improved the flow of the story considerably. The scene where he threatens a dirty cop with a hungry rat and a hot bucket is probably the only moment that caught me off-guard. 

The script here is still strictly of the C+ variety, goofy and uninspired in ways that are rarely charming. Which, once again, leaves the homoerotic posturing of the bro-tastic heroes the primary redeeming quality. Brian and Roman's history often plays like lovers that have fallen out. Roman seems to have an obsession with threading to beat Brian's ass, which suggests a fixation. Later, he says that Brian's weakness for pretty females gets him in trouble, as if to implied he'd be better off with another option. There's a hilarious moment where he whips his shirt off, Tyrese's pecs glistening in the Miami sun, for totally gratuitous reasons. I don't know if Tyrese Gibson is in-on-the-joke but his conceited tough guy performance is funny nevertheless. Paul Walker – who heavily seasons his dialogue with "bros" and "bruhs" – is looser than in the first film, leaning into the ditzy blonde appeal he showed last time. Unsurprisingly, Brian and Roman walk off together at the story's end, all-but-confirming the simmering subtext between them. 

If you combined the decent vehicular stunt of the first "Furious" with the forgettable but competent script of "2 Fast," you'd probably have a mildly diverting popcorn flick. The kind of thing you'd watch on a lazy Sunday afternoon, chuckling mindlessly at the doofiest parts. With those atrocious CGI car effects instead, it's difficult for me to recommend this one. Paul Walker and Tyrese's bro-mance only provides so much value to a collection of reheated action clichés like this. [5/10]