Halloween 2025: September 13th

 

Predator: Killer of Killers (2025)

Back when I was in the sixth grade or so, my school had one of those annual book fairs. For whatever reasons, I picked up a paperback collection of the comic book “Predator Vs. Judge Dredd,” despite its gory content probably not being teacher approved. Nestled in the back of that collection was a second story, told entirely without dialogue. It depicted an African tribesman, sometime in the distant past, encountering an extraterrestrial hunter while on a manhood ritual. Dark Horse often told stories like that through their extensive “Predator” and “Aliens” comic book series, realizing these monsters can work in almost any setting. The cinematic installment of this particular franchise never showed any interest in following this lead until Dan Trachtenberg took over with 2022's “Prey,” which did just that. Trachenberg was clearly so fond of this approach that he's doing something similar with “Badlands,” the forthcoming release in the franchise which has a post-apocalyptic theme... And the surprise animated “Predator” movie that was made in secret and dropped on Hulu back in April. “Predator: Killer of Killers” sends the iconic alien into three different eras of mankind, once again showing how versatile this particular creature truly is. 

In 7th century Norway, Viking warrior Ursa and her teenage son Anders seek revenge on the Krivich warlord that murdered her father. The bloody onslaught into enemy territory is interrupted by the arrival of a human hunting alien creature, equipped with a sonic wave manipulating weapon. 700 years later, in feudal Japan, the sons of a samurai damyo are forced to duel to see who will inherit his royal role. Now as adult, the losing brother – acting as a shinobi – sneaks into the family stronghold to resolve the sibling rivalry. Plans are interrupted by an intergalactic interloper. In 1942, teenage John Torres is drafted into World War II. While stationed on a battleship, the fighter jets start being shot down by a mysterious craft that doesn't belong to either side of the earthly conflict. In the final segment, the survivors of these three encounters awaken on an alien world, forced to compete in gladiatorial combat for the amusement of the trophy-obsessed travelers.

The idea of the original “Predator” was that Earth's mightiest warriors, over-the-top icons of machismo like Arnold and The Body, had met their match in the form of a big game hunter from beyond the stars. It established a pattern that most of the four or six sequels have followed. We Earthlings are always outmatched by the Predator's superior technology at first but human ingenuity and our never-say-die attitude eventually wins out. “Killer of Killers” sees this same outline playing out four times in a row. This gives the impression that these Yautja – the species name for these creatures introduced in the comics that I guess is canonized now – actually aren't very good at hunting other lifeforms. However, it is a sturdy formula. The viking familiarity with the frozen Scandinavian landscape, a samurai's sense of brotherhood, or a World War II mechanic forced to think on his feet in mid-air all prove to be interesting ways to get the upper hand on the aliens. And maybe there's simply an evergreen appeal, in we mighty humans actually being allowed to be the underdogs against a greater threat. 

Obviously, setting does ninety percent of the work in “Killer of Killers.” There's an undeniable cool factor in the concept of the Predator fighting Viking warriors, of a ninja and a samurai teaming up against the same alien, or a WWII dog-fight with an UFO. However, each segment does a good job of quickly getting us invested in the characters. Ursa introduces herself with a tale of woe, detailing her quest of vengeance. The sibling rivalry that drives the feud between Kenji and Kiyoshi is the kind of universal theme anyone can relate to. Same goes for John Torres trying to prove himself as a mechanic getting his first shot at piloting a plane. The characters are archetypal. The film does nothing to dissuade cliches of vikings being obsessed with paying blood to blood or the samurai fixation on bushido honor. Once John gets a tough but fair commanding officer, it's not hard to guess what will happen to him. (The officer is voiced by Michael Biehn, who now joins Bill Paxton and Lance Henrisken in a very exclusive club.) 

As simple as the characters and stories in “Killer of Killers” can be, it works in the film's favor. The script takes just enough time with each character and setting to fully establish them, before introducing the mandibled threat on their tails. These themes are universal, the characters straight-to-the-point, to get us hooked as quickly as possible, since the film only has so much time to showcase each segment. This also leaves plenty of room for the other thing “Killer of Killers” is about: Kick-ass action. “Prey” showed Trachtenberg had a talent for creatively engineered mayhem, the camera weaving in and out of stylish showcases of high-tech butchery. Being a cartoon – visual effects expert Josh Wassung is credited with co-directing the film and presumably handled a lot of the technical aspects of the animation – allows this one to go further with that approach than “Prey” did. Ursa dismembering enemies with a battle axe and shield is a smoothly executed, highly brutal sequence. The stylized swordplay of the samurai sequence is also extremely well down, the end including a visual trademark of the Jidaigeki genre that is truly satisfying. 

If there is a weak link in “Killer of Killers'” quartet of stories, it is probably the World War II sequence. That sequence sees a Predator – this one has an eye-patch, so you know he's a bad-ass – mostly doing his hunting from a spaceship. The film works hard to incorporate the species' trademark technology into this setting, shooting heated chains that can cut through jets like a cheese slicer, but it's not quite as compelling. Either way, it's incredibly clear that Dan Trachtenberg loves playing in this sandbox. Each hunter is outfitted with their own technological gimmick. There's a sonic wave super punch, a spear that sprouts extra barbs, and a chained whip. Pretty cool stuff and logical expansions on what has appeared in previous entries. The final segment takes us back to the home world, giving us a bit more of a peek at the alien culture that produced such honor-obsessed poachers. You can tell the movie was made by massive “Predator” fans because the leader of the clan has a cape of spinal columns that bares more than a passing resemblance to the old Kenner Toys conception of a “King” Predator. That made me smile, big and proud. 

If all modern franchise film-making can be described as overgrown nerds playing with their action figures well into their old age, the mid-credits teaser “Killer of Killers” throws in will do nothing to dissuade that notion. Which is a fair enough criticism. I'm not sure every corner of a nostalgic nerd property needs to be overturned, in order to mine them for all they're worth. However, at least “Predator: Killer of Killers” expands more than it retreads. The freedom of animation – competently done, if not a mind-blowing application of the cell-shaded CGI style seen in most post-”Into the SpiderVerse” features – allows a lot more leeway in what can be shown here versus in a live action film. I don't think an “Avengers Assemble” of past “Predator” heroes is necessary. However, Trachtenberg and his team clearly have a passion for this world that extends beyond merely homaging what came before. That bodes well for "Badlands" – annoyingly not releasing during the Halloween season – and hopefully for the rest of the franchise's future as well. [7/10]

 

 

 

Perfect Strangers (1984)

To me, Larry Cohen is one of the essential New York City filmmakers. Fred Williamson strutting through Harlem as "Black Caesar," Andy Kaufman becoming a rogue shooter during the St. Patrick's Day parade in "God Told Me To,"  "Q: The Winged Serpent" roosting in the Chrysler Building: The guy was gifted at invoking something essential about America's most prominent metropolis. In 1984, Cohen would return to NYC after an unsuccessful year in Hollywood. He would shoot two low budget thrillers back-to-back, made with no-name cast plucked from the local theater scene. While the self-reflective "Special Effects" has grabbed a little bit of attention over the years, the second of this burst of creativity, "Perfect Strangers," remains largely overlooked. If you search the title on Wikipedia, you have to scroll a bit to find this one. A Google search produces more results about the sitcom and Deep Purple song of the same name. Is this one a hidden gem or a rightfully forgotten piece of Cohen's eccentric career?

Johnny, a young punk in the New York mob, is ordered to knock off a small time drug dealer. He stabs the guy to death in a back alley. Only to realize that a toddler saw the whole thing. Feeling guilty, Johnny tells his boss about the witness. He is next instructed to clean up any loose ends, in whatever manner necessary. Johnny goes about talking to Sally, the two year old's single mother. She is having trouble with her baby-daddy, who never wanted the kid but is now protective of him, and barely scraps by as a clothes reseller. She is charmed by Johnny and soon falls in love with him. He starts to develop feelings for her too and also bonds with Matthew, the kid at the center of all this. As the police continue to investigate the murder and connect Sally to the crime, Johnny is put under more pressure to complete his orders. More killings follow, a child is endangered, and a mother will have to defend her baby.

The entirety of “Perfect Strangers” hinges on a rather implausible idea: That any judge in the land would put a two year old kid up on the witness stand. Matthew is a toddler, non-verbal and unable to dress himself. The likelihood of him remembering witnessing a murder, much less being able to identify the killer, strikes me as unlikely. Moreover, if Johnny had kept his mouth shut and simply not mentioned the kid to the mob, he wouldn't have been commanded to commit infanticide. This speaks to the rather cheesy tone that infects all of “Perfect Strangers.” Cohen and Paul Glickman, his regular cinematographer, made the baffling decision to shoot the entire movie through a waxy, soft-focus lens. This makes the whole film look like a flashback sequence. Dwight Dixon's score – his sole credit – is defined by chintzy sounding synth shrieks. This is paired with some hilariously corny songs from Michael Minard. (Previously of the hilariously corny “Fall Break” from “The Mutilator.”) It's difficult to take whatever angst Johnny might have seriously when he expresses himself by spray painting black outlines of his own body underneath bridges. 

A degree of campiness or intentional melodrama would not be unprecedented, from the director of “The Stuff.” I guess there's a big difference in handing material like this to a professional eccentric like Michael Moriarty versus the less experienced cast here. Brad Rijn, as Johnny, has a strange rhythm to his delivery. He never seems entirely convinced of anything he's saying. Anne Carlisle is a little better as Sally. However, the love story between the two is never anything less than awkward.  The two don't have any sparks so much as a weirdly antagonistic vibe between each other, that the script insists they play as romantic. They go from being strangers to lovers far too quickly. The eventual sex scene can't overcome a sense of discomfort. All the acting in the movie is kind of like that. Stephen Lack, the extremely wooden star of “Scanners,” plays a detective as some sort of camp-gay figure. John Woehrle, as Sally's ex, walks an uneasy balance between stilted and exaggerated. Meanwhile, Carlisle's “Liquid Sky” co-star Otto von Wernherr shows up for one inessential scene, lumbering through a conversation with a distinctly Schwarzeneggerian accent. 

As a romance, “Perfect Strangers” is sunk by the bizarre anti-chemistry between its stars. As a character study of Johnny and his conflicted morality, it never comes together. Mostly because of Rijn's weird performance but also because of the script's refusal to give Johnny any real depth. The scene where he's bathing Matthew and trying to couch the kid on what to say are, I think, supposed to be suspenseful but only come off as uncomfortable. Which is odd because, as a thriller, “Perfect Strangers” is quite competent. Cohen gets right to the point – so to speak – arriving at the bloody stabbing that kicks off the plot the minute the opening credits end. That's a frantically cut scene, a furious stabbing that concludes with blood stylishly splattered on the ground. A moment where Johnny is pushing Matthew on a swing set or the kid is in a mobile merry-go-round come close to catching that same sense of out-of-control danger. As the kid flies overhead – the little actor genuinely seeming in peril – the film taps into the inevitable feeling this is all going to end in tragedy. Which it does. The last act of “Perfect Strangers” transforms into a well executed stalk-and-slash scene, the film finally committing to the slasher undercurrents it was suggesting all along. Right before ending rather abruptly but at least it goes out on a high note. 

The most interesting thing about “Perfect Strangers” has little to do with the genre parameters it plays around in. As was often his style, Cohen shot part of the film right on the streets of New York without any permits at all. When Matthew is abducted briefly by his father, the reactions of the people behind the arguing couple seem genuine. Most notably, a long sequence was shot at an on-going Women Against Pornography march. This brings up another element of the film I've not yet mentioned. Sally's best friend is a die-hard feminist and talks greatly about how women have to defend themselves from men. A key scene has Johnny going ballistic on her ex, beating him in a playground. Any exact message about the relationship between men and women isn't totally coherent. It wouldn't surprise me if Larry Cohen was working through some hang-ups with his own ex-wife through this story. At the end though, the film does seem to come around to the idea that women are pretty justified in being afraid of men, who are too often driven by feelings of violence and entitlement. 

To repeat a statement I think like I've been making a lot this September, “Perfect Strangers” is an extremely flawed film that still has some interesting stuff floating around inside it. When focused on being a grim little thriller, Cohen definitely shows his skills as a consumerist pro at giving the audience what they want. He also couldn't repress his tendency to make his films both a record of their time and place and a statement on some woes of the day. All of which is well and good but not quite enough to make up for the movie being a bit of a fiasco otherwise. A silly script, an uneven cast, a fine layer of cheese, and a very slow middle keeps “Perfect Strangers” from standing tall on the wings of its dreams. Vinegar Syndrome put the film out on Blu-Ray recently, meaning it will be rediscovered by people who will probably like it more, but I kind of agree with history forgetting this one. [5/10]

 

Door Into Darkness: Eyewitness
La porta sul buio: Tentimane oculare 

 

Last year, I watched an episode of Dario Argento's short-lived seventies anthology series. In the time since, “Door Into Darkness” has gotten a spiffy Blu-Ray release from Severin, along side a few other Argento obscurities. Ultimately, Dario's style of murder mysteries proved a little too intense for Italian television. This is why the series would end with “Eyewitness,” only its fourth episode. The hour follows Roberta who, while driving home one night, sees a woman leap out in front of her car. She looks closer and sees that the woman was already bleeding before she was nearly struck, spotting an obscured male figure nearby. She reports the crime to the police but they are unable to locate a body. Roberta is convinced of what she saw though and continues to investigate on her own. The detective and her boyfriend, Guido, both become concerned about her sanity. Especially when she claims to be pushed into traffic, despite everyone around her reporting that she nearly fell. Once Roberta receives a threatening phone call from the killer – who says he'll track her down that night, while Guido is out of town – she knows she isn't crazy. She's in danger. 

“Eyewitness” has a lot in common with “The Tram,” the installment of “Door Into Darkness” I previously covered. Both episodes present a seemingly impossible mystery: A woman stabbed to death inside a crowded cable car with no witnesses in the former and an apparent murder for which no evidence can be found in the latter. Both hours get off to slow starts, as the protagonists go through the routine of everyone believing they are crazy despite never wavering in their certainty. However, where “The Tram” followed the eccentric detective on the case, “Eyewitness” has the much more classically Argento premise of an ordinary person caught up in a crazy mystery. Marilù Tolo plays Roberta as a woman who is nervous enough to be possibly cracking up but also seems sensible enough. She returns to the scene of the supposed crime, goes over the events in her memories again and again, and tries to assemble a logical explanation. Once you factor in the creepy phone call, the similarities to “Profondo rosso” truly come into focus. Like in that classic, the killer ends up revealing themselves after the hero gets too close to the truth.

The gender of the protagonist adds an interesting new layer though. Roberta is surrounded by men who think she's hysterical. Her boyfriend never outright says he's concerned about her sanity. The detective admits he respects her and believes her recollection of events. (While also implying he's romantically interested in her.) At the same time, there's an undeniable layer of condensation to their words of encouragement. Argento's work has been accused of sexism many times over the years and not always without good reason. However, “Eyewitness” does force the viewer to relate to a woman who is doubted, looked down on, and manipulated by the men around her. It feels like something of a rebuttal to the idea that the director had issues with women. (Though how pushed around Roberta is by the plot, not exactly being proactive in the second half and waiting for the killer to come get here, makes it difficult to interpret “Eyewitness” as a feminist text.)

The opening credits of “Eyewitness” claims it was directed by Roberto Pariante, Argento's second unit man on the Animal Trilogy. In fact, Dario was displeased with Pariante's work and fired him after a few days. He finished the episode himself before having Luigi Cozzi go back and re-shoot everything Pariante did complete. You can definitely see Argento's stylistic fingerprints on “Eyewitness.” Early on, there's a point-of-view shot from the perspective of a tea cup. Later, Roberta is watched by the camera as she listens to an answering machine. The episode has a jazz score, largely composed of frantic drumming, that recalls Ennio Morricone's soundtrack for “Four Flies on Grey Velvet.” The climax has the girl cornered in her own home, while a black-gloved killer wielding scissors busts through the door. It's a tense sequence and shows that the director could still create plenty of suspense without the gore of his theatrical releases. The denouncement is a bit disappointing, the responsible party simply explaining the how and why of their crimes. Still, up to that point, “Eyewitness” is a suitably Argento-esque experience that fans will surely get a kick out of. [7/10]

 

 

 

The Addams Family: Gomez the Cat Burglar

 

After having extra helpings of Grandmama's yak stew at dinner, Gomez gets out of bed in the middle of the night with an episode of sleep walking. Being an Addams, Morticia doesn't consider this suspicious. Nor does she connect this moment with the story on the news paper the next day of a cat burglar stealing valuables in the neighborhood. As the title reveals, these two incidents are very connected, Gomez's newly acquired collection of gold, jewels, and furs in the basement making it apparent. The family makes multiple attempts to prevent the patriarch's nightly somnolent activity – such as Fester standing guard outside the bedroom door or Morticia playing a snake charmer's flute to hypnotize her husband – but nothing works. When the cops show up, something more serious most be done.  

"Gomez the Cat Burglar" is a very sight gag centric episode. Luckily, the bits of wacky physical comedy and implementation of goofy props are consistently amusing. Lurch acts literally when instructed to help Gomez "hit the sack." The sequence where Fester attempts to stand guard outside the master bedroom – he immediately falls asleep – keeps escalating in nicely ridiculous ways. I like the reveal that the Addams keep bags of dirt, including a fire axe behind a "Break In Case of Emergency" glass, in the hallways. The bit with Morticia playing a magic flute to hypnotize her husband also gets silly quickly too, Gomez busting out a bugle in response. The last act features John Astin disguising himself as an old man to fool the police but it's spoiled when Morticia says "Voila." Good to see the writers finding new variations on the "Tish, that's French!" running joke. The resolution also managed to catch me off-guard, one goofy joke coming back around to resolve the plot. 

This episode is especially a showcase for Carolyn Jones' comedic timing. Her initial reaction to her husband sleepwalking or her response to a newspaper smashing through a window are both so perfectly deadpan. Though it does strike me as odd that she's confused by her ability to only cut paper dolls with multiple limbs. Or Fester reacting to her modernist painting with bafflement. You'd think this family would be delighted by such weirdness! Presumably not wanting to be left behind by Lily and Herman, this episode reveals that Gomez and Morticia are now sleeping in the same bed together. (He puffs his cigar in his sleep and her nightgown is almost identical to her regular clothes, both subtle little gags.) In fact, Gomez says the word "Sex" later in the episode. Maybe 1965 was less prudish than I previously thought? Also, there's a cool shot when Fester and Morticia enter the dark Playroom, the two of them framed between the spokes of gold wagon wheel. Nice cinematography there. [7/10]

Halloween 2022: September 25th

Prey (2022)

“Predator” became a long-running franchise despite every sequel resulting in a dead-end. “Predator 2” is a cult fave now but remains the lowest grossing entry in the series. “Predators” set-up further adventures and but only did decent box office internationally. “The Predator” was built to retrofit the series into a modern day blockbuster. Instead, it got wrecked in the editing room and under-performed. And everyone hates the “Alien Vs. Predator” duo. When Disney acquired Fox, the future of such an unsuccessful series was in question. Yet sometimes a good idea prevails. In 2019, Dan Trachtenberg was attached to a project called “Skulls.” Just as “The Basement” was eventually revealed to be “10 Cloverfield Lane,” it was soon discovered that “Skulls” was actually “Prey,” a new movie in the sci-fi/action/horror franchise. Trachtenberg's approach with the far-flung prequel might have finally broken the losing streak for “Predator” follow-ups. 

In the time before America was colonized by the white man, Naru is a young Comanche woman living on the Great Plains. She bucks tribal tradition by seeking to become a hunter, much to the consternation of her brother, Taabe. While on the hunt for a mountain lion, Naru sees signs that a greater threat is facing the tribe. She discovers French fur trappers are slaughtering the local buffalo population... And that an inhuman visitor, armed with advanced weaponry, is hunting humans and animals for sport. As the predator kills all who oppose it, Naru is soon the last person left standing against the alien hunter.

The comics, the medium where the “Predator” series has had its most consistent success, often found value in placing the alien hunters into different settings and time periods. “Prey” follows this lead but depicting what's, perhaps, the first encounter between mankind and the Yautja. Placing a story that's not too dissimilar to the original “Predator” during a time when a wild America was about to be conquered by white settlers changes the meaning of many of the franchise's trademark elements. One imagines Naru and the Predator are on similar journeys: Both are trying to prove themselves by going on hunts. The difference is that the Comanche hunt to survive, while the Predator hunts for sport. Even the image of a skinned body – in this case, a herd of hideless buffalo corpses – is a familiar visual given a new meaning here. The Predator is not responsible for these skinnings. The white man is and it's going to destroy the native population. 

“Prey” certainly pays homage to the franchise's past. A beloved line of dialogue is revisited. Mud is used prominently in the climax. Yet Trachtenberg and his team find some clever new riffs on established lore. Being set four hundred years before the first film, this Predator is slightly less advanced than the alien usually is. His cloaking technology is not as sturdy. He fires metallic bolts, instead of laser beams. He wears a skull over his face, as opposed to a metal mask. It's familiar but different. You see the strength of that writing in the script's structure as well. Not one minute of “Prey's” runtime is wasted. Everything set up in the first act, from the rope Naru adds to her tomahawk, to a bog she nearly drowns in, comes back later in the film. It's very satisfying to watch unfold.

While building a “Predator” movie around a female protagonist has led to a mild amount of bitching and moaning from the expected corners of the internet, “Prey's” star has mostly been well received. Amber Midthunder plays Naru. She makes for a compelling lead, as a young girl bucking the gender norms of the culture she's grown up in. Her unconventionality gives her the novel outlook she needs to survive this unusual experience. Yet she makes mistakes too, struggling every step of the way against cultural challenges and physical difficulty. Midthunder projects an incredible sense of strength. She also has great chemistry with the little dog who plays her best friend. He's endangered all throughout the film, which adds a great deal of grim tension to the proceedings. Yet I'll go ahead and tell you, because it stressed me out: The dog lives. He's a very good boy.

If any criticism can be leveled at “Prey,” it's that the CGI effects are not exactly up-to-snuff. The so-called Feral Predator is mostly brought to life through practical make-up effects and looks pretty cool. Yet the CGI animals he tangles with, ranging from a bear to a wolf to a snake, all look fairly artificial. The action scenes are also perhaps a little over-choreographed. The Predator has a little too much fun flipping his weapons through the air. Naru's jumps and kicks seem a little too acrobatic, for someone not trained in martial arts. Yet it's easy to forgive these flaws when the movie piles on some gnarly gore. The scene where the Predator massacres the fur trappers features some inventive bloodshed, including making novel use of the alien's telescoping shield.

Since “Prey” is a Hulu exclusive for the time being, its success can be gauge entirely in terms of fan reaction and critical response. The prequel has, in fact, been very well received, with many calling it the first good “Predator” sequel. I really wish Disney had deemed this worthy of a theatrical release. Considering its compact 65 million dollar budget, I can't imagine it wouldn't have turned a profit. Considering this R-rated franchise is under the House of Mouse now, I suppose we should be happy a new “Predator” movie got made at all... And that it actually managed to be pretty damn good too. The comic books figured out ages ago that the Predator is a sturdy monster that can reliably work in just about any scenario. It seems the movies have finally figured that out. If this leads to further films, dropping the alien hunter down into a number of exotic, historical settings, that would be a-okay by me. [7/10]

Confessions of an Opium Eater (1962)

Obviously, I think of Vincent Price, first and foremost, as a horror star. This is certainly true for the majority of cinema fans. However, Price had a fantastic career that took him across many different genres. His campy theatricality was well-suited to melodrama and comedy. His dramatic flair made him an ideal fit for villain roles in swashbucklers and epics. He even showed up in a western once or twice. Yet, after horror, Price is probably best known for his work in film noir. He was a distinctive presence in classics like "Laura," "While the City Sleeps," "The Web," "Leave Her to Heaven" and countless others. In 1962, Price's two trademark genres would cross-pollinate in a very off-beat fashion with "Confessions of an Opium Eater."

Set in 1902, Price plays Gilbert de Quincey, the descendent of "Confession of an English Opium Eater" author Thomas de Quincey. A freelance adventurer, de Quincey has come to San Francisco's Chinatown for a specific reason. Gang wars among Tong factions are tearing the community apart. Girls are being imported from China to sell at auctions – with opium as the currency – to men seeking traditional Chinese brides. Gilbert has been hired to retrieve a bride that has escaped the slavery operation, yet he soon finds himself fighting to free the kidnapped girls. His journey will take him through underground tunnels, opium dens, and into the depths of the sex trade. 

Though made long after the genre had largely fallen out of favor, “Confessions of an Opium Eater” fits clearly into the noir genre. The film begins with Vincent Price narrating on the nature of human existence, as extrapolated from the story's themes. This is just one example of the hyper-stylized dialogue on display here. He plays a perpetually unlucky hero, who spends the whole movie getting beaten up, captured, and humiliated. This ties in with a perpetually downbeat tone, the seemingly hopeful climax leading us to an unusually unexpectedly downbeat final scene. The urban setting is full of shadows. The story is typically convoluted, occupied with double-crosses and shifting alliances. Price is even at the whims of a femme fatale, in the form of a duplicitous woman named Ruby Low. Considering enough time had passed for noir conventions to pass into cliché, “Confession of an Opium Eater” almost feels like a weirdo parody of the genre at times. 

If this one is so clearly a noir throwback, why am I talking about it during the Halloween Horror-Fest Blog-a-thon? Halfway through the film, after escaping from one den of sin or another, Price walks into an opium house. He puffs on a pipe and sinks into a nightmarish opium dream. What follows is a montage of horrific images, centered around a skull emerging out of the fog and approaching ever closer. Images of snakes, ghouls, and spiders fade in and out as Price pontificates on the evils of the drugs. That pushes the film clearly into the margins of the genre for me. The movie's not done being weird after that. The effects of the opium persists through the chase that follows. This plays out in slow-mo, with two minutes of total silence followed by repetitive editing and unusual sound effects, further adding to the feeling of disorientation. Close enough for the Six Weeks of Halloween for me!

If it isn't obvious, “Confessions of an Opium Eater” is kind of an odd one. Director Albert Zugsmith – other credits include “Sex Kittens Go to College” and “Movie Star, American Style or; LSD, I Hate You” – brings some stylized shadows to the visuals, paired with shotgun editing that feels totally intentional. This is most evident during the opening action scene, where a net full of girls is dropped on a boat via the power of stop-motion photography. Albert Glasser's Theremin-heavy score provides an off-kilter ambiance. The plot includes unexpected developments, like Price earning a Chinese dwarf lady sidekick midway through the film. Or a supporting character tricking everyone with an unmoving mask and a high-pitched voice. Strangest of all, perhaps, is the decision to cast Vincent Price as an action hero. Obviously, I love Price but he seems hopelessly out-of-place dueling a vicious Tong enforcer with an axe on a board over a stream. Or swinging a flail at guys who look like sprites from a “Double Dragon” game. He's much more adapt at trading the movie's stylized, often circular dialogue.

By the way, the movie's racial politics do not hold up to modern, sensitive scrutiny. Almost all the Chinese characters are either helpless damsels, scheming human traffickers, or bumbling comic relief. (Though the movie gets points, I guess, for casting actual Asian actors in the parts.) There's a scene where girls from different cultures perform sexy dances for the buyers, a moment dripping in exoticism. When combined with its off-putting, weird choices and a plot that's often hard-to-follow, it's not surprising this one has largely been dismissed. Yet those same eccentricities have attracted a few fans. Joe Dante lists it as one of his favorite movies. Its story of a smart-ass hero, bumbling through underground tunnels and Chinese crime lords, seems like a likely influence on “Big Trouble in Little China.” I came away liking this one for its oddball tendencies, even if it's mid-tier Price at best. Though any of his monologues here would make a great sample for a goth-rock/industrial track... [7/10]

Creepshow: Drug Traffic / A Dead Girl Named Sue

“Creepshow” gets about ten minutes longer than usual for its season finale. “Drug Traffic” is about Evan Miller, a presidential candidate who takes U.S. citizens across the Canadian border to make a point about U.S. healthcare. (And as a publicity stunt.) On the bus is an Asian-American woman with a very sick daughter, who is detained for the massive amounts of pills she's smuggling. Miller and the die-hard communist border guard soon discover why she needs the pills: Her daughter is a demon from Malay mythology. “A Dead Girl Named Sue” takes place in 1968. It begins with Police Chief Foster attempting to calm a vigilante mob, enraged by the actions of the mayor's psychopathic son. Recent events in the town – revealing that this segment is a prequel to a horror classic – changes Foster's minds on how to deliver justice. 

I'm always a fan of building a story around myths from underrepresented cultures. The creature in “Drug Traffic” is what I've always heard call a penanggalan, though it has different names depending on where you are. The exact nature of the entity varies but it's most consistently depicted as a young woman whose head detaches from her body, her entrails trailing under her neck, and floats around in pursuit of blood. It's a visually spectacular beast, even if it stretches “Creepshow's” effects budget to its limit. I wish the penanggalan myth had anything to do with “Drug Traffic's” political angle. Casting Michael Rooker against type as a communist is a nice touch. Yet, by the time he's talking out the episode's political agenda with Miller – which boils down to “politicians don't give a shit about the people who vote for them” – the script has officially crossed over into ham-fisted territory. Truthfully, this one would've been stronger if the political angle was downgraded from text to subtext.

The homage episodes in “Creepshow” have mostly sucked, especially this season. “A Dead Girl Named Sue” isn't bad though. The script doesn't foreground that this story takes place parallel to a landmark horror film. Any Shudder subscriber will pick up on it quickly – the date and black-and-white photography is a big clue – but the episode doesn't shove your face in it. It helps that the plot stands alone. The premise of a by-the-book cop finally reaching his breaking point, when dealing with a total son-of-bitch, is conveyed well enough. Christian Gonzalez and Josh Mikel are strong in those roles. The script is too dialogue heavy. I wish the final reveal, which includes a burst of color in this monochrome setting, was set up better. Yet it's a clever idea that's executed in a sturdy manner. A decent way to wrap up a season that has featured the best and worst episodes of the show thus far. [Drug Traffic: 6/10 / A Dead Girl Named Sue: 7/10]

Chucky: Cape Queer

“Chucky” is at the inevitable point all these serialized shows reach, where episodes are just made up of juggling various plot lines. Junior's mom reveals her cancer diagnosis to her family, right before Chucky kills her. This makes it apparent to Jake, Lexy, and Devon that the murderous doll is still at large. Jake and Devon get closer while preparing themselves for their next confrontation. They also get a hold of Andy Barclay, the little boy from the original “Child's Play,” and Kyle, his adoptive sister from the sequel. Those two have been traveling the country, searching for the additional Chucky dolls from “Cult.” And else where, Tiffany purchases Charles Lee Ray's childhood home in Hackensack after discovering Nica has regained control of her body.

It took way too long for Jake, Devon, and Lexy to start working together as a team. Now that the trio is together, their dynamic is really working for me. Jake and Devon are adorable together. The scene where Devon comes out to is mom is really cute. So is the scene where the two boys bond over their love of horror movies. I'm okay with blatant references, like Devon name-dropping Jamie Lee Curtis, when it tells us more about these characters and their worlds. The three preparing to fight off Chucky is also a blatant homage, to Scorsese's “Cape Fear.” Yet watching these three interact is simply fun. 

It's a shame nobody can figure out how to write a slasher TV series that doesn't eventually degrade into soap opera-ish digressions. While it's possible Junior and his dad might still make a meaningful contribution to the overarching plot – though I'm doubtful – his mom really was introduced just to be killed off. (Though the biology teacher being framed for the principal's death may be an even more worthless subplot.) At least she gets a fairly spectacular death scene, Chucky pushing her out a window and right into a car windshield. That's not the only victim the doll claims in this one, though the second death at least has the sense to occur in the middle of an otherwise tense confrontation.

I do feel sorry for Jennifer Tilly, always having the time of her life in this role, and Fiona Dourif, honestly a quite subtle and talented performer. Presumably, their storyline will interact with the rest of the show at some point. Right now, it's not much more than fan service. The same can be said for Alex Vincent and Christine Elise, as Andy and Kyle. I like the insight that Andy has actually gotten quite sadistic, when it comes to Chucky, the years of torment the doll put him through having an effect on his sanity. Yet it's so frustrating to have these characters weave in-and-out of the episodes, essentially just to remind the viewer they still exist, on their way to actually doing something of importance. That's why movies are the superior medium to television. All killer, no filler, baby. Anyway, this show remains pretty good when it's not fucking around. [6/10]

Director Report Card: Shane Black (2018)

4. The Predator

Usually when an actor directs a sequel to a film he appeared in, it's a case of a weary star being lured back with a chance to direct or a lead becoming the shepherd for the series that made him a star. It's very unusual for a minor player from the first movie to come back to write and direct the fourth movie. Then again, Shane Black was primarily a screenwriter when he appeared in the original “Predator.” In fact, Black returning to make a new “Predator” seemed like a slam dunk at the time. This hype was up-ended a few weeks before the film's release when a controversy, surrounding a bit part in the film being played by a registered sex offender, emerged. And then the very mixed reviews started to come out. Going into “The Predator,” I began to worry that this would be another “Iron Man 3,” where Black put his personal stamp on an established series and fucked it all up in the process.

In the depths of space, one alien ship chases another. The pursued ship, piloted by a rogue Predator, heads to Earth. He crashes and attacks a troop of black ops guys, led by Quinn McKenna. McKenna is the only survivor and ends up with some of the Pred's special equipment. Soon, McKenna is detained with an entire group of mentally unstable soldiers. But not before sending the alien tech to his wife and autistic son. The Predator was also captured and quickly escapes. It turns out he's being pursued by another warrior from his home world, a deadlier and more advanced one. McKenna, his son, a biologist who specializes in alien organisms, and a group of self-declared Loonies are caught in this interplanetary conflict.

As he did with “Iron Man 3,” Black makes no attempt to disguise his trademarks while working within an established franchise. The heroes are smart-asses, hard guys with mental health issues who have a bond. There's also a precocious kid, who naturally has a connection with the lead tough guy. The film is set around a holiday, though Black subs out Halloween for his preferred Christmas. That last choice may be the decision of Black's co-writer: Fred Dekker, the beloved but rarely utilized auteur behind “The Monster Squad” and “Night of the Creeps.” You can see Dekker's influence in other scenes, such as Rory being bullied at school. Or the genre-savvy characters, who do things like point out that the Predators don't actually live up to their names.

My biggest concern about Black directing “The Predator” was his tendency towards convoluted plotting and a complete disinterest in following established lore. Luckily, “The Predator's” plot is totally straight-forward, save for a few plot holes. Black doesn't totally fuck up the series' mythos either. In fact, the additions he makes to “Predator” lore are pretty compelling. The species' habit of collecting trophies from their prey is given another purpose. In their efforts to make themselves more effective hunters, the Predators have begun to genetically alter themselves. The primary antagonist, the Ultimate Predator, has the armor, blades, and cloaking device built into his massive jacked body. This seems like a logical extension of the species' technology. The film is set before the events of “Predators” and seems to show the beginning of the inter-species conflict that installment was about. We also see a prototype for the Predator hounds, who are much more canine-like and cuddly here.

I don't know how good Fox executives are at learning from their mistakes. However, it's definitely significant that the studio has never tried to make another PG-13 entry in the “Alien/Predator” franchise since 2004. “The Predator” is gloriously gory. The expected dangling, skinned corpses appear early on. The renegade Predator tosses people through the air. He tears a whole truck load of guys apart with ease. The Ultimate Predator is similarly adapt at dismemberment, blowing enemies apart or easily eviscerating them with his claw. There's even some alien-on-alien violence, plenty of green blood being spilled.

However, “The Predator” has a fairly serious problem in the editing department. There's a rushed, incoherent quality to some of the action scenes. Moments that should be important – like a major character comically, accidentally blowing his own head off – go by so quickly, they could be easily missed. Another moment has a child casually killing someone, without much attention being drawn to it. Other times, the editing seems to confuse or disguise simple plot points. In one scene, the characters are in an RV. In the next scene, they each have their own cars. A dog seems to play a significant role before vanishing after a key moment. The final fight also features a character suddenly appearing and disappearing. It seems to me that Shane Black or whoever wanted to get “The Predator's” run time as tight as possible ended up cutting out some important details in the process.

Or maybe “The Predator's” post-production was rushed in general. Many of the special effects are perfectly serviceable. The practical creature effects are all fun. The CGI frequently functions believably, even cleverly. Such as when dripping blood reveals a cloaked Predator. Other times, however, the CGI leaves a lot to be desired. The CGI on the Predator Dog varies from decent to shaky, depending on the scene. A moment, where the Ultimate Predator grabs a soldier and bites his head off, looks overly artificial. A dismembered body flying through the air near the end is awkwardly green-screened. There's a lot about “The Predator” that suggests sloppy re-shots and re-editing.

I've read people complaining about the editing and the effects in “The Predator.” Yet the element that seems to bother people about the sequel the most is its treatment of autism. McKenna's son, Rory, is identified as having Asperger's. He's sensitive to loud sounds, speaks in an overly specific manner, and is socially withdrawn, leading to him being bullied. None of that seems especially egregious. However, “The Predator” eventually piles on that old chestnut about autism being magic. Rory is gifted with technology and computers, easily learning how to use the Predator tech. Eventually, the movie drops the bombshell that autism isn't just neuro-divergence. It's the next step in human evolution. While I'm sure the filmmakers meant well, and Jacob Trembly is fine in the part, they end up playing into a lot of dehumanizing stereotypes about the autism spectrum.

While many of “The Predator's” problems are hard to ignore, the likability of its cast goes a long way.  I was worried Boyd Halbrook, best known as one of the villains in “Logan,” was going to be one of those boring, pre-fab Hollywood leading men. However, he proves to be quite charming as Quinn McKenna. Halbrook adapts well to the typically caustic sense of humor all Shane Black protagonists must have. (I do wish Yvonne Strahovski, as McKenna's long suffering wife, was given more to do. She disappears half-way through the movie and isn't seen again.) I also liked Oliver Munn as Dr. Bracket. Munn is equally quick with a comedic one-liner as she is during the action sequences.

The group of PTSD-afflicted soldiers, the self-proclaimed Loonies, that help McKenna could've been easily annoying characters. Yet they prove surprisingly likable as well. Thomas Jane's Baxley is not a very flattering depiction of Tourette Syndrome. However, his mental trauma is taken seriously. The bond he forms with Coyle, played by Keegan-Michael Key, is also interesting. Borderline homoerotic, the two share a special bond and struggle with their trauma in their own ways. Trevante Rhodes, as Nebraska, has a heroic streak despite his suicidal tendencies. Augusto Aguilera's Nettles also shows an interesting child-like quality, along with a more erratic side.

Some have complained that “The Predator” is too flippant. This is not an unfair criticism. The hyper-profane dialogue becomes a bit much at times, especially with Jane's sprouting random swear words. Everyone is cracking jokes, no matter how serious things get. Probably the most embarrassing moment in the film occurs when the lead character has to suddenly go to the bathroom. There's a plot reason for this but it definitely feels unnecessarily crass. Still, a lot of the jokes in “The Predator” work. Such as Munn accidentally hitting herself with a tranquilizer gun, the attempts by the men to win over the female scientist, and a scene where the guys debate on whether or not they should follow the hero.

While Black didn't seem very interested in the “Iron Man” lore, he obviously loves the “Predator” franchise. There's quite a few callbacks and references in the latest sequel. Henry Jackman's score makes sure to incorporate many of the classic themes from Alan Silvestri's beloved original soundtrack. Jake Busey appears, playing the son of Gary Busey's character from “Predator 2.” There are cheeky homages to the original's most famous lines of dialogue. This stuff is a little corny but far more charming than the attempts to set-up a potential sequel. That final, belabored scene goes on far too long and ends with an underwhelming reveal.

It's already clear that “The Predator” is a divisive film. Some hardcore fans of the franchise have dismissed it. Others have loved it. Such a mixed response is actually totally fitting. “The Predator” does some things really well. It puts a clever spin on the series' mythology, features some likable characters and actors, and definitely has its charming moments. At the same time, the editing and special effects are inexcusably bad at times. Some of the writing decisions are practically tasteless. If nothing else, I find it more interesting than “Predators.” Though definitely a bit of a mess, I would still consider the latest “Predator” an entertaining hundred minutes at the cinema. [Grade: B]

Recent Watches: Predators (2010)

When “Predators” came out in 2010, I was surprisingly hyped for it. If you ignore the cross-over flicks, it had been two whole decades since we had a real “Predator” sequel. Producer Robert Rodriguez promised to make a worthy sequel that took the series in a new direction and expanded on the mythology in interesting ways. An up-and-coming director, Nimrod Antal, was hooked into directing and a worthy cast was assembled. When the movie came out, I even got a bunch of my nerdy high school friends together to see it. I walked out disappointed, maybe because I was putting too many expectations on what was meant to be a modest creature thriller.

A group of killers awaken in free-fall, tumbling towards a jungle. As the mixture of soldiers, mercenaries, criminals, enforcers, and one seemingly normal man get to know each other, they realize what’s going on. They are on an alien world. They are being tracked by unseen forces, seemingly hunting them for sport. They are on a game preserve planet, pursued by the Predators. As they struggle to survive and work together, the disparate group realizes there is in-fighting among their captors, which could be their ticket home.

“Predator” was a clever combination of an eighties action flick and an extraterrestrial horror movie, with a great cast and even better direction. These perhaps humble beginnings spawned an extensive series of comics, novels, toys, and video games. This was the universe “Predators” was entertaining in to. The film attempts to expand on the established “Predator” mythology in new ways. The sequel takes the original’s sci-fi spin on “The Most Dangerous Game” concept to its natural conclusion. This time, the humans are being hunted… On an alien world. These Predators have hounds, spiky dog-like creatures that pursue their prey, which leads to one of the best scenes in the movie. One of the aliens even has a robotic falcon on its suit, which it surveys the area with. The bulky armors that hunters wore in the “Alien vs. Predator” films are thankfully ejected, returning to the stripped-down look of the original. All of these are clever additions.

In some other ways, “Predators” bites off more then it can chew. An aspect of the film that was heavily hyped is that the film deals with two warring clans of Predators. Disappointing, this is a brief aspect of the film. The promised Pred-on-Pred fight happens once, late in the film, and doesn’t last long. The villainous alien, called either the Super Predator or the Berserker, is an ugly design too, with wider jaws and a more detailed head. The inter-species war is such small part of the movie that it feels like a tacked-on idea. “Predators” also doesn’t give us much of a peek into the aliens’ home world either. A subplot about Lawrence Fishburne as a survivor hiding on the planet doesn’t amount to much. Fishburne’s bizarre, over-the-top performance doesn’t help any either. It mostly feels like a variation on the original movie in a new setting. From the fan service perspective, “Predators” is still a bit of a let-down. Even the callbacks to the original, like the reappearance of Ol’ Painless or another character coating themselves in mud, feels a bit desperate.

Something that is occasionally mocked is the movie casting Adrian Brody as its bad ass hero. Brody sure has had an odd career, hasn’t he? An Oscar-winner who has done time in lots of schlock, he gives it his all even in material as dire as “InAPPropreite Comedy.” As Royce, the morally ambiguous anti-hero of the film, Brody is surprisingly good. He’s believable as a stone-cold killer. His whispered dialogue actually helps up the tension. The dude put on a lot of muscle for the part too. I also really like Alice Bragga as Isabelle, the female lead. The more compassionate of the team, Bragga brings a humanity to the role while still being an effectively tough soldier.

Sadly, we don’t get to know the rest of the cast very well. It sometimes feel like the writers dropped a bunch of stereotypes onto the alien world. What do you think of when imagining the most dangerous people from around the world? We have a Mexican drug cartel enforcer, a shiv-wielding prison psychopath, the stoic Yakuza, a Russian super-soldier, and a death squad member from an African war zone. Sometimes, the movie wastes likable character actors in these thin parts. Danny Trejo – go ahead and guess which one he is – is underutilized and exits the film far too soon. Walter Goggins as the convict goes way over the top, which may be more of a scripting problem. Oleg Taktarov has some humanizing moments but still isn’t given much to do. I like the Japanese guy but he’s mostly a cipher. Only Topher Grace, as the wolf in sheep’s clothing, makes much of an impression. Unfortunately, the internet spoiled the reveal about his character, probably the film’s most clever element.

“Predators” is never truly effective as a horror flick. It occasionally builds a little intensity but never any scares. It fares slightly better as an action flick. There’s no distracting shaky-cam at the very least. The fight with the hounds works well. The duel between a Predator and the yakuza is slightly cheesy but memorable. The fight between the Predator should have lasted longer but works while it does. The movie certainly splatters plenty of green blood. The final duel between our hero and the Berserker underwhelms though. It essentially replays scenes from the original, without putting a unique twist on it. “Predators” was modestly budgeted. This is clear not just in the limited screen-time of the monsters but in the half-assed CGI, which is not convincing.

Weirdly, “Predators” might work the best before the titular aliens are introduced. The scenes of the cast exploring the planet, figuring out what’s happening and what their situation is, are the most effective in the entire movie. You know where it’s going but it is fun to see the wheels roll into place. “Predators” still doesn’t live up to its potential. Maybe that upcoming, Shane Black-written reboot will. The third film isn’t an embarrassment to the legacy either. It’s an occasionally entertaining but mostly unextraordinary entry into the franchise, with some clever ideas it doesn’t capitalize on and others that seem undercooked. [6/10]

Recent Watches: Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

The first “AVP” had a lousy reception, with critics and especially among fans. I know all the kids at my high school lunch table were as disappointed in it as I was. Despite this, it made money. It won the weekend and, when inflation is disregarded, is actually the highest grossing film in either franchise. You have no idea how much that factoid bums me out. Two years later, a sequel was greenlit out of the blue. The Brothers Strauss, experienced effects guy but first time filmmakers, took the director’s chair. The filmmakers promised to deliver a movie that would satisfy fans of both series, the ones who were disappointed in the previous installment. “Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem” was hated even by the fans it set out to please and grossed far less at the box office.  Controversy opinion incoming: I actually enjoy “Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem.”

In the final minutes of “AVP,” a Xenomorph/Yautja hybrid was seen bursting from the chest of a dying Predator warrior. “Requiem” picks up right where the first film left off. The PredAlien rampages through the ship, killing the hunters aboard. The ship crashes outside Gunnison, Colorado. The PredAlien, and the set of facehuggers on-board, survive the crash. The aliens begin to tear apart the small town. The ship’s distress signal is received by a lone warrior on the Yautju home world, who heads to Earth to clean up the mess before it gets too out of control. The human residents of Gunnison are caught in the war between the extraterrestrial monsters.

“Requiem” seems to be widely hated by hardened fans of either series. I get this, really. Like its predecessor, the film takes place on Earth, in the present, running counter to what we’ve come to expect from the “Alien vs. Predator” comics and games. The film’s characters are not tough space marines or experienced scientist but teenagers and twenty-somethings. The movie lacks suspense and doubles down on gory special effects. There's also has a mean-spirit thread running through, the script delighting in endangering children and pregnant women. I understand why people dislike these elements. I mean the following as a compliment: “Aliens vs. Predator” reminds me of a trashy, splatterpunk novel. The big cast, characters obsessed with sex, small town setting, plentiful gore, nasty tone, and slimy monsters reads like something out of a Richard Laymon novel. Swap the Xenomorphs and Yautja out with generic monsters, and maybe ramp up the sex and violence, and its very easy to imagine this as a sleazy paperback. Do these elements have any place in the “Alien” or “Predator” series? Probably not. But taken on its own, the film is enjoyable.

Though it didn’t succeed in doing so, “Aliens vs. Predator” obviously wants to please die hard fans of both series. Numerous in-jokes are scattered throughout. Brian Tyler’s score features call-backs to both James Horner’s “Aliens” score and Alan Silvestri’s “Predator” score. “Get to the chopper!” and “One ugly motherfucker” are both uttered. The movie ends by putting a face to the Yutani side of the Weyland-Yutani corporation. Moreover, the film shows us things we’ve always wanted to see. We get a brief glimpse at the Predator home world. The PredAlien, a creature featured in the comics and video games from time to time, is the primary adversary. All of this stuff is cool. It’s evidence that the filmmakers are indeed big fans of both series.

But the biggest indicator that the sequel was made by real fans is that Predator is a bad ass. Referred to as “Wolf” in the credits, this Predator is not merely on a hunt. He’s a cleaner, a specialized agent that swoops in and cleans up other people’s messes. You know this, because he dissolves evidence of both aliens with tubes of blue acid. This means he’s an especially bad-ass member of an entire species of bad-asses. He swoops into town, loaded with weapons. Beyond the wrist blades, shoulder cannons, and cloaking devices, he’s got other toys. The glaives from the previous movie return and are much better used this time. There’s a nifty blade whip and a plasma shotgun. One scene has him blasting the aliens into laser nets set up previously. Compared to the incompetent Predators from the first “AVP,” it’s refreshing to see one that means business and knows what he’s doing.

The Strauss Brothers obviously respect the lore of both series. They don’t introduce any lame ideas into the mythology like Paul W. S. Anderson did last time. They ditch the lame creature designs from the first feature, instead recreating the ridge domes from “Aliens.” The Xenomorphs are shadowy, frightening monsters. One scene, which has an alien leaping through a window to grab the little girl’s father, actually got a jump out of me. The aliens still die fairly easily, even being taken down by the humans and their machine guns. At least the film attempts to make them scary again. Anderson was completely ignorant of the creature’s symbolic meaning. The Strauss Brothers communicate with the subtext in a crude way. The PredAlien force-feeds a pregnant woman some Xenomorph eggs, which is filmed as if it’s a rape scene. It’s not smart but at least they understand that these creatures mean something.

I don’t think people hate “Requiem” because of its nasty gore. I don’t even think it’s the sort of lame monster design for the PredAlien. The dreadlocks certainly look awkward on the traditional Xenomorph frame. Instead, people are down on the movie because of its cast of characters. There’s no doubt that the humans are an utterly generic band. There’s the hero, a good-hearted guy that just got out of prison, looking to redeem himself. There’s his kid brother, a pizza boy who has unrequited romantic feelings for the local hot girl. Said girl has an asshole boyfriend. How about the mother, just returned from the military? Or the local police chief? Really, there’s no reason to care about any of them. The movie even seems to actively dislike them. The hot girl is killed off in a way that’s so sudden, it’s almost funny. Most of the cast ends up dead. Considering the “Return of the Living Dead”-style ending, I’m surprised anyone makes it out alive. Of course the human characters are lame. They’re supposed to be. Wolf is the hero of the movie.

The final monster duel between Wolf and the PredAlien tops anything in the first movie. Gore hounds are sure to be pleased by “Requiem,” as it's almost beginning-to-end mayhem. The movie’s in-jokes, vulgar tone, and focus on bad-ass action makes it feel like fan fiction at times. But, if so, it’s fun fan fiction. Really, the only thing I genuinely dislike about the movie is how dark the photography is and how inconsistent the Predator’s behavior can be. (He’s on a salvage job but sometimes he acts like he’s hunting.) Give the movie a second chance. In the right mind-set, “Aliens vs. Predator” can be a lot of fun. It’s not all an “Alien vs. Predator” movie can be. Taken as a side story to bigger, more important series, it’s an amusing bit of drivel. [7/10]