6:50 - Welcome again to Film Thoughts' annual live blog of the Oscars ceremony!
Much to my eternal shame, I have not seen all the nominees this year. I fell short by one, not having time to squeeze in The Lost Bus. Hopefully that doesn't take away from my enjoyment of the show tonight.
Having said that, this is still what I would vote for in each category, if I was an Academy member.
7:02 - Hopefully this will be the only Aunt Gladys related gag tonight.
7:03 - Okay, excellent dummy joke. And alright, Conan as a CGI cartoon character is pretty funny.
7:05 - That bit went on a little too long but I enjoyed it.
7:07 - See, one of the great things with Conan is, even when he tells a lame joke, he can turn it around with a silly delivery.
7:08 - Me and the missus have been cracking jokes about how much our brain sees the word bologna whenever we see the word "Bugonia."
7:10 - I would go see "CAPS LOCK"
7:12 - See, this is why Conan is a class act. There's not a joke about how nobody watches the Doc Shorts, the humor goes in a totally different direction. "Little Sad!" Except the donkey one.
7:14 - What was with that split second shot of the camera shaking? Wow, the joke writers at the Oscars are still doing "TFW" jokes.
7:17 - Fifteen minutes into his Oscars hosting gig, Conan O'Brien actually did get serious.
7:19 - Okay, Conan's fake Oscar being delivered by a falcon was funny.
7:20 - It would seem like Amy Madigan is the favorite to win though Fanning would be a nice surprise.
7:22 - Yay, for horror representation at the Oscars! She is accepting the award in front of the foyer of a Chinese restaurant.
7:24 - "Thanks to all the dogs!" Awww, I like that.
7:30 - I thought they were going to a comment section joke but this is okay too.
7:31 - Will Arnet has been hitting that bronzer.
7:33 - Let me reiterate once again that I am a registered "KPOp Demon Hunters" hater. But the odds of "Little Amelie" pulling off an upset wasn't great.
7:35 - The first unsuccessful play-off attempt of the night. I'm rooting for "Retirement Plan."
7:36 - I guess if we are going by the measurement of the Academy awarding the Most and not the Best than I guess "The Girl Who Cried Pearls" makes since in this category. Definitely had the most visually elaborate animation.
7:38 - I thought we were going to commercial but here's a musical number instead.
7:40 - I like the swag the banjo lady here has.
7:41 - Well, this was an honest attempt to re-create one of the best moments from a film last year and, uh, they tried.
7:48 - Kylie Jenner's embarrassed smirk during the Bum Drum bit was amusing. Also, "Lawnmower Man" clip at the Oscars! Boy, they are still rolling with the Bum Drum thing, aren't they?
7:51 - Anne Hathaway should do comedy more often. I was hoping "Frankenstein" would win Best Costumes just for that dress Mia Goth wore in the flashbacks.
7:53 - Did her mic cut out for a second or did she say something really offensive?
7:54 - I was rooting for "The Ugly Stepsister" but "Frankenstein" probably did have the best make-up, so I'm fine with this.
7:56 - Just wouldn't be an Oscar ceremony without as many awkward play-offs as possible!
8:00 - So I've been saying Paul Mescal's name wrong the whole time.
8:03 - The joys of live television, cutting to Delroy Lindo while someone else is still talking.
8:06 - The P.T.A. Witness Protection was a good joke. "And I have one before you!"
8:12 - Matt Berry shouting out Basil Rathbone, you love to see it.
8:13 - There's definitely some Greek tragedy to Kamial Nanjami completely fucking up his face and body to get the superhero bod for a franchise that never panned out.
8:15 - I want to reiterate how stunted I was that this year's Live Action shorts were mostly not depressing!
Okay, a tie in Live Action Shorts? That's never happened before. Hopefully, "The Singers" tied with "Friends of Dorothy" or "Jane Austen's Period Drama."
8:17 - I wasn't crazy about "Two People Exchanging Saliva" but the filmmaker is actually in the Oscars Death Race Discord server I'm in and gave us a few shout-outs, so it's neat that they won.
8:18 - Boy, the joys of live television are really showing up tonight. That abrupt cut to Conan on the side of the stage was an extraordinary moment.
8:20 - Best Supporting Actor doesn't seem to have a clear cut front runner, so we'll see how this goes. I'm rooting for Delroy.
8:22 - Sean Penn's biceps didn't want to be here.
8:28 - Conan's white tux, that's a real humdinger. They are doing a few too many bits tonight though.
8:32 - Robert Downey Jr. wore his Doctor Doom suit to the show tonight.
It's actually insane that this is the first Oscar Paul Thomas Anderson has won.
8:38 - Damn, the bits have mostly been very bad tonight. All the pithy banter in the world could not sell this one. Hopefully this will not be Ryan Coogler's only time on-stage tonight.
8:44 - Mel Brooks burying both Carl and Rob Reiner just wasn't right.
8:46 - Probably for the best that they cut off Billy Crystal reading off Reiner's films at "The American President."
8:48 - Someone standing up right in the way of the camera as the In Memorium montage starts. The technical gaffs tonight have been frequent.
8:49 - I'm glad Udo Kier didn't get left out of the montage.
8:54 - Also glad they didn't leave out Cary-Hirouki Tagawa, my boy Shang-Tsung.
8:55 - Boy, whoever is responsible for the microphones and sound tonight should probably not get brought back to this job next year.
8:59 - Did they just cut to commercial in the middle of Babs finishing a sentence? Tonight's show feels like it's dragging on.
9:02 - Wow, I'm impressed it took them this long to slip a zoomer/6-7 joke in there.
9:04 - ABC/Disney getting that cross-brand synergy in there with a Grogu. What is with the timing being so severely off tonight?
9:06 - Shout-out to "The Lost Bus," the movie that fucked up my Oscar Death Race this year. Curse you, Paul Greengrass!
9:10 - "Do the hand thing, baby!
9:14 - Oh no, I dozed off for a minute, woke up, and Jimmy Kimmel was hosting the show. I must be in a nightmare.
9:16 - Man, I was really rooting for "The Devil is Busy." "All the Empty Rooms" does seem to be a little like the Academy's speed.
9:19 - Aside from it just being my favorite of the noms, it would be neat if Tig Nitaro won an Oscar. And again, inexplicably, the anti-Putin doc wins. I hate the guy too but the Academy really fuckin' hates that guy. Kimmel cracking jokes about the Melania doc, when it would not be eligible for the show this year, Jimmy! Sloppy.
9:28 - I still have never seen "Bridemaids." What the hell is up with the sound tonight?
9:30 - "This bit has been going on a little too long." That describes all the bits tonight.
9:32 - "Sinners" obviously had the best score but "Bugonia" would be an acceptable alternative for me.
Also acceptable for them to just give it to the best score.
9:34 - Jesus Christ, what are these bits?????
9:36 - Not exactly passionate about it but "F1" was my pick for Best Sound, so that's nice.
9:38 - I thought they were going to say "Welcome the President of the United States of America" and uhhhhh that would be awkward.
9:43 - Woo doggy, this might not be the most boring Oscars broadcast I've ever seen but it's definitely not one of the better ones.
9:46 - Is everybody being held at gunpoint while they read off these bits? Jesus. Also, not to be rude but Bill Pullman is looking weeeeeird.
9:49 - Matt Berry pronounces "Demi Moore" exactly the way I would expect him too. And Miss More is wearing a giant feather duster tonight.
It's got no chance at winning but I'm rooting for "Train Dreams." '
9:50 - "Sinners" had great cinematography though, so I can't complain about that.
9:55 - Ya know, man, I just don't get it. What about "Golden" makes it better than every other K-pop song out there? Just not my genre, I guess.
9:57 - "Scan the QR code on your screen" ORRRRR you just put all the performances in the broadcast, you fuckin' hacks.
10:03 - Javier, I knew you were based.
10:04 - I figured "Sentimental Value" would win International Picture. Out of a lot that I wasn't crazy about, I suppose "The Voice of Hind Rajab" was my top pick.
10:08 - Oh Lionel Richie, I didn't think you ever went away!
10:09 - There is a part of me that thinks it would be hilarious if Diane Warren actually does win this time.
10:10 - The fans of this movie are about to get even more annoying now.
10:12 - "I would like to thank.." BLARRPBRRRAPPP!!!! That made me laugh harder than any of the actual jokes tonight.
10:15 - Doesn't matter how many years go by, anytime I hear someone say "Zendaya," my brain mentally fills it in to "...is Meechee."
Anyway, Coogler gang, rise up.
10:17 - I love Paul Thomas Anderson but he should've won this award long before this for much more worthy films. When was the last time he had a coke night with Tarantino, I wonder?
10:20 - Ethan Hawke does deserve the Best Comb-Over Award. Will Timmy Shallot get or MBJ? Let's see.
Michael B. was my pick from the get-go so I'm glad he turned out victorious.
10:23 - Delroy Lindo definitely has the best ascot tonight.
10:26 - Adrien Brody doing a Turbo Tax commercial is a good reminder that, in-between his two Oscar wins, he was starring in shit like "Giallo" and "InAPPropriate Humor."
10:28 - Even Conan is like, "Jesus, can we please get this over with?"
10:29 - Buckley feels like the only person in this category with real heat. Nice peroformance. Byrne would be a nice surprise.
10:31 - I like Buckley's accent. "the arRRRRt."
10:33 - One more category, let's get this oveeeeeer with.
10:34 - I kind of like how friggin' tall Nicole Kidman looks.
10:36 - Well, there you, nobody how close it begins, the Academy will not nominated a horror film unless they can trick everyone into thinking it's a "psychological thriller."
10:38 - The cat, the most important thing in the room.
10:39 - I really loved Conan's hosting gig last year but this ceremony suuuucked. Too awkward to be serviceable, too boring to be memorable and entertaining. Few inspiring wins. Is that it? Are we done? Hot damn. Let's go to bed. Love you guys!
Oh wait, there's more.
10:40 - Ooooh this is an unfunny "One Battle After Another" bit!
Good night, everybody!






















