7:40 - Welcome to Film Thoughts' twelfth annual live blog of the Oscars ceremony!
Tonight is the climax of the what's likely to be the strangest Oscar season on the books. The pandemic has totally changed the way we see movies for the last year and that had a big affect on Oscar season. Now, the ceremony tonight is going through a number of unusual loops to make it work. Including enforcing social distancing, breaking up the ceremony across multiple large locations, and bringing in Steven Sodenberg to sprinkle some "Contagion" energy on the night.
7:42 - The Academy has already managed to piss me off by excluding live performances of the Best Song nominees, shuffling them off to the pre-show. Out of all the stupid shit the Academy fills the broadcast with, I don't know why they are always so eager to cut the songs, i.e. one of the few events associated with the broadcast that actually benefits from the live element.
7:50 - Ten minutes to go. Currently enjoying a musical performance that should've been part of the proper ceremony. No, I'm not going to stop bitching about this all evening.
8:00 - And here we go!
I would watch a buddy cop movie with Bong and Angela Bassett.
8:02 - Wow, the change of setting and the more active cinematography has already lent a very different feeling to this ceremony. I wonder if it'll be able to maintain this energy the entire night. (It won't.)
8:03 - I saw "COVID Coordinator" in the credits of a new film last Friday... I guess that same class of people are getting paid tonight.
8:06 - Of these personal stories, "Sound of Metal Guys sold sushi and dog mugs" is definitely the most humanizing.
8:07 - "Promising Young Woman" won Best Original Screenplay strictly because that last act was so fucking unexpected. Also, Emerald Fennell sounds exactly like how I'd expect her to.
8:08 - Are all the speeches going to be this rambling tonight?
8:10 - I'm not sure how I feel about this way of presenting the nominees...
8:11 - "Meanwhile... HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY!!!"
Okay, Regina wins serious points for saying the whole title.
8:12 - Did, uh, anyone have "The Father" on their Best Adapted Screenplay slot? I guess it's the most... adapted of the nominees.
8:13 - I'm really missing a live orchestra to play people off-stage already tonight...
8:18 - Wait, that's James Brown's "Black Caesar" score!
8:19 - Okay, they are using a normal format to announce the rest of the nominees tonight. That first round was awkward as hell. Also, I hope "Another Round" wins just because that dance finale was so lovely. (For the record, "Better Days" is the only one of the International Feature nominees that I think is a real dud.)
8:22 - I hope Thomas accepts the award by dancing around with it and leaping off stage.
8:25 - Jesus, I had no idea about Vinterberg's daughter...
8:26 - Daniel Kaluuya looking over his shoulder should become a meme.
8:29 - These masturbatory introductory messages are dragging the pace down so much. Please just play clips.
8:30 - I honestly would've picked LaKeith over Kaluuya tonight. But this is fine. I'm 3/4 tonight thus far.
8:32 - How long has this ceremony been going on tonight? Two hours? *looks at clock*
8:34 - "My mom and dad had sex!" Okay, not something I expected to hear tonight.
8:35 - Shameful admittance: I have never seen the original "West Side Story."
Spielberg really missed an opportunity by not CGI-ing Christopher Plummer or Tig Nitaro's face over Ansel Elgort's.
8:39 - I know nothing about fashion but Don Cheadle's bowtight is friggin' amazing.
8:40 - In Make-Up, I am rooting for "Pinocchio," if only because it's the only genre film nominated this year. I doubt it'll win though.
8:41 - This feels like a winner picked totally at random. But at least "Hillbilly Elegy" didn't get it.
8:43 - I know I've complained about montages and an over-reliance on clips in the past but... Bring the clips back. Please.
8:45 - Did absolutely anyone expect "Ma Rainey" to be a multiple winner tonight? I didn't think anyone actually liked that movie.
8:47 - This is the most plodding, humorless Oscars ceremony I've ever sat through. Holy crap.
8:50 - Yes, this was totally worth prioritizing over performing the fucking songs.
8:51 - Okay, I've got it. The pandemic completely fucked everything up last year, so we're not allowed to laugh or have any fun tonight. That's why the ceremony has been so utterly lifeless.
8:54 - Listen, I've been watching and writing about the Oscars for over a decade, so let it be known I am utterly sincere when I say this: I have never been more tempted to watch something else. I am bored to my core.
8:56 - Where the fuck are the subtitles?
Also, seriously: Who the hell organized the categories this year? Why do you throw Best Director in this early in the night?
8:58 - It definitely seems like some of the heat has come off "Nomadland's" hype train recently. Is it still a lock for Director and Picture? I guess we'll find out in a minute.
8:59 - Nope.
9:01 - Oh, nice. A speech that didn't go on for six hours.
9:06 - Alright, having Riz Ahmed present the Best Sound category makes sense.
9:08 - There have been a couple of categories tonight that were easy to predict and this was one of them.
9:10 - Really nice of that one dude to dominate the entire allotted speech time.
9:11 - "Two Distant Strangers" is almost hilariously tasteless and tone-deaf, if it wasn't so offensive, and it's definitely going to win Best Live-Action Short.
9:12 - Told ya.
9:16 - There's pretty much no chance in hell of "Wolfwalkers" pulling an upset and winning Best Animated Feature but I want it. I want it so badly, you guys.
9:19 - Oh, we're doing Animated Shorts instead. It's going to be "If Anything Happens, I Love You" but I am rooting for "Burrow."
9:22 - The directors of a short about gun violence walking on-stage to the "Grindhouse" music was an... interesting choice.
9:23 - "The Secret of NIHM" is fucking awesome! Thank you for that shout-out, Reese.
9:24 - I'm really baffled by the decision to show clips for some of the nominees and just do the drollest fucking stories otherwise for others.
9:25 - "Soul" is going to win but 'Wolfwalkers" will always have my heart.
9:26 - Cartoon Saloon is going to get it one of these years.
9:28 - Who had "air horn sound effect" on their "Oscars Bingo" card tonight?
9:33 - "Love Song for Latasha" is my favorite of the Short Doc nominees but it probably won't win. I'm just really hoping "Hunger Ward," the worst kind of white lib guilt porn, doesn't win.
9:34 - That was a win I did not expect.
9:36 - Shouting out the subjects of the other nominees was a classy move. This guy is cool.
9:38 - As for Feature Documentary, I'm betting "Collective" probably has it in the bag. It's also my pick.
9:39 - Is Sergio at the ceremony tonight? He's such a sweet heart.
9:41 - I liked "My Octopus Teacher" well enough but, seriously, I hate that Netflix is pulling off a winning streak tonight. I swear to god, if "Trial of the Chicago 7" wins Best Picture...
9:45 - Why is the announcer so fucking snarky tonight?
9:49 - Wow, Steven Yuen marching in and saving this entire fucking evening.
9:51 - Tenet will win, on account of being the only big effects blockbuster released last year, but "Love and Monsters" has fantastic effects work in it and I suggest you all check it out.
9:52 - At least the guy had the sense to keep his speech short.
9:53 - I genuinely have no idea who will win Best Supporting Actress tonight but I am rooting for Maria.
9:54 - Okay, this is the first surprise win of the tonight that isn't a huge bummer. This speech is adorable.
9:56 - "How can I win over Glenn Close?" "I am luckier than you." She's awesome, I love her.
9:58 - And then she doesn't know where to walk off! This is going to be the highlight of the night.
10:02 - I really hate how they are presenting the nominees tonight. The lack of clips, of just going straight into things with these little anecdotes, is so disharmonious.
10:03 - As for Best Production Design, "Mank" really deserves it. But I don't think it'll get it.
Alright, what do I know? Also, the musical choices tonight have been mostly horrendous.
10:06 - That was a nice, short speech. I'm glad "Mank" won.
Halle Berry, you really think we don't understand what cinematography are? I am rooting for "Mank" as well but I think "Nomadland" will get it.
10:07 - I'm glad "Mank" has gotten some love tonight. "Cut my Oscar into pieces!"
10:14 - Only six categories left tonight... Before this very weird ceremony can conclude.
10:15 - Does Harrison Ford have a mouthful of marbles tonight? I've got to admit that framing this intro around negative feedback to "Blade Runner" was pretty funny though.
10:17 - Best Editing was, by far, the weakest category this year. I think "The Father" and "Promising Young Woman" were the only ones whose editing really stuck out to me at all. "Sound of Metal" seems like a truly random win.
10:20 - I like Viola's hair tonight.
10:22 - Why are we talking about Tyler Perry? We're just... doing an extended homage to the creator of Madea tonight?
10:24 - I can not believe they cut the songs to make room for the fucking Humanitarian Awards. This shit is so dry.
10:26 - Oh my god, why is the director of "Madea Goes to Jail" talking?
10:27 - SHUT THE FUCK UP, TYLER PERRY
10:31 - Ya know, what would make the nominees for Best Score more meaningful? IF WE COULD HEAR CLIPS OF MUSIC.
10:34 - "Soul" was always going to win Best Score but I was rooting for Trent and Atticus' other nominated score tonight.
10:35 - "I love you even if I DON'T KNOW YOU!" That made me chuckle.
10:36 - "Ja Ja Ding Dong" was robbed.
10:37 - At least these assholes are actually playing clips from the songs.
10:38 - Meh. Should've been "Speak Now."
10:40 - Questlove's Oscar trivia: What the fuck is happening?
10:41 - Jesus Christ, AMPAS, we have three categories left. You were so close to wrapping this shit up before midnight.
10:43 - STOP THE OSCARS I WANT OFF
10:45 - This segment is military grade torture but Glenn Close doing Da Butt was... something.
10:48 - It's fitting that this Oscars ceremony was filmed at L.A. Station because it's been a.... train wreck.
10:51 - I'm really looking forward to seeing how this ceremony fucks up the In Memorium segment.
10:53 - Is it just me or are the names going by really quickly? R.I.P. Wilford Brimley.
10:54 - I looked away to take a drink and six names passed by. Can't believe this is when they decided to go fast.
10:59 - Yes, the "Electric Company" theme song is what I think of when I think about the Oscars. Questlove, you're trollin'.
11:00 - Wait, what are they doing? Are they announcing Best Picture before Best Actor and Actresses? I am so confused.
11:01 - The attempt to shake up the formula tonight has resulted in the most ass-backwards ceremony. This thing has been all over the place.
11:05 - "Nomadland" just won Best Picture but, for some reason, we aren't done yet.
11:07 - Frances McDormand encapsulating how this ceremony is making me feel by howling into the screaming night.
11:11 - Ya know, in retrospect, this is exactly the type of Oscar show I'd expect celebrating the year 2020.
The previous Best Actress winner is presenting Best Actress, because this is the night we throw traditoin to the win.
11:12 - Oh fuck off. Come on, really? I love Frances McDormand but she did not need this one!
11:14 - Of course, the agent of Chaos, Mr. Joker himself, would close out this year and 2020's legacy.
11:15 - CHAOS REIGNS
And just like that, it's over.
11:17 - I've seen some bad Oscar ceremonies but this one was a train wreck for the books. Everything was wrong and it crystallized with some truly nonsensical final few minutes. I feel like I just slipped into a fucking alternate universe.
11:18 - And on that note of whiplash inducing madness, I bid you adieu.