Halloween 2019: October 31st - HALLOWEEN

Say hello to Bud and Lou.

Halloween was in kind of a weird place this year. Earlier this year, when people realized the holiday would fall on a Thursday, there was a ridiculous petition to move the day. That failed, obviously, but it didn't stop most people from having their parties and celebrations last weekend. This caused the odd sensation of Halloween feeling like it was over prematurely.

Despite that, I went ahead and made plans for today. Originally, I was going to head over to a friend's place and help hand out candy to trick-or-treaters. However, a storm is blowing into the East coast tonight, with high winds and rains. Trick-or-treating was postponed to Saturday and the 31st was now left weirdly anticlimactic. I ended up buying a bitchin' Frankenstein mask for no reason. Oh well. More time to watch movies and wrap up the Halloween Horror-fest Blog-a-thon in a big way!

Halloween Is Grinch Night (1977)

There's no doubt that “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” is among the most iconic Christmas specials of all time. It's also delightful, being beloved even among relative, well, Grinches like me. Considering its success and status, it's unsurprising that there have been several attempts to follow up the original “Grinch.” The first of which, “Halloween Is Grinch Night,” was produced ten years later. It shows that Christmas isn't the only night the Grinch terrorized the Whos. As a “sour-sweet wind” blows into Whoville, the peaceful residents realize it's Grinch Night. The Grinch travels down from Mount Crumpit, riding his Paraphernalia Wagon and determined to unleashes surreal horrors on the Whos. Only one boy, Euchariah, is brave enough to venture out and confront the green creature.

While “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” is a beloved classic, “Halloween is Grinch Night” has been consigned to pop culture's dust bin. And it's not too hard to see why. While the “Christmas” special was entirely narrated, “Halloween” gives the Grinch and the Whos individual voices. Hearing the weirdly gentlemanly Hans Conried's voice come out of the Grinch is odd. Somehow, hearing Dr. Seuss' nonsensical rhyming verse actually spoken in conversation makes it go from charming to obnoxious. And the special isn't even committed to the rhyming, as it sometimes lapses out of it. The songs here are incredibly repetitive with tinny, irritating melodies. They also cause the plot to meander, as we get an unnecessarily depressing song told from the perspective of frequently abused Max the Dog. The attempts at humor – the Grinch falls into a bush of prickly berries – is uninspired. The animation isn't as well done either, as the character designs are more self-consciously “cute.” The Grinch looks like a cat here.

When “Halloween is Grinch Night' is remembered at all, it's for the collection of surreal imagery the Grinch unleashes. It begins with his eyebrows leaving his head and flying through the air, accompanied by another annoying song. Afterwards, he opens his Wagon and a succession of increasingly strange monsters appear. Some of these creatures are shockingly creepy looking. Like a gathering of tall, white, possibly robed and vaguely-penguin shape entities. Other high-lights include a spectral worm with glasses, a giant spinning wheel of legs and feet, metallic humanoids with massive spotlights for heads, and an enormous sea scorpion. There's also a cameo from the Jibboo, another Seuss creation originating in “Oh, the Places You'll Go.” The bird-like Jibboo, covering with ratty feathers and featuring an ominous posture, has always been one of Seuss' creepier creations. So it's a good addition here. All of these encounters take place among a typically Seussian surreal landscape of platforms and colorful backgrounds.

Aside from that phantasmagoric collection of nightmares, “Halloween Is Grinch Night” is pretty disappointing. It's not even explicitly set on Halloween. Apparently, the Whos have a conception of that human holiday Christmas but not of Halloween. Yet I guess someone liked it, as it won the Primetime Emmy for Outstanding Children's Program. (I'm kind of guessing the competition in that category was none too fierce.) There would be one more Grinch television special, wherein the fuzzy green asshole met the Cat in the Hat. All subsequent appearances have re-told the Christmas story. I don't know if that's better or worst. [5/10]

The Vampire Bat (1933)

You might have noticed that, this Halloween, I've been trying to watch as many features with classic horror stars as possible. Over the course of 2019's Six Weeks, we've seen Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, Lon Chaneys Sr. and Jr., Barbara Steele, Peter Lorre, Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Donald Pleasence, and lots of Vincent Price. With it now being October 31st, I'm worked my way through most of the big names. Yet how about Lionel Atwill? A regular of the Universal Monsters movies, Atwill was enough of a notable name at the time to headline a few of his own horror flicks. “The Vampire Bat,” from 1933, also features Fay Wray and Dwight Frye, making it a classic horror star triple header. Awesome. Let's dive in!

The vaguely Germanic village of Kleinschloss has been stricken with terror. A string of mysterious murders have occurred. Multiple people have died in their beds, totally drained of blood, with odd pin-prick bites on their necks. The suspicious townsfolk immediately blame the deaths on a vampire. They quickly blame Herman, the town simpleton with an affinity for bats, for the crimes. Police inspector Karl Breettschneider isn't so convinced and searches for a non-supernatural culprit. He works alongside Dr. Otto von Niemann, a local biologist.

“The Vampire Bat” was produced by Majestic Pictures, another one of the Poverty Row studios. The film was an attempt to ride the coattails of two other high profile releases: “Mystery of the Wax Museum,” which also starred Atwill and Wray, and Universal's “Dracula.” The latter was especially influential, as “The Vampire Bat” is a clear attempt to emulate the bigger studio's monster movies. Dwight Frye plays Herman, who is a more benign but still rather Renfield-like character. Lionel Belmore plays the Burgomesiter in this film, after playing the same role in “Frankenstein.” Majestic even used the same sets from “Frankenstein” and “Dracula,” lending this low budget movie extra production values. The elements that made “The Vampire Bat” a cheap knock-off in 1933 now makes it utterly irresistible to classic horror fans now.

As you'd suspect, “The Vampire Bat” has its fair share of likable classic horror ambiance. It's not as shadowy and foggy as Universal's most atmospheric films. However, there are several pretty cool point-of-view shots of mysterious, creepy, caped figures closing in on sleeping maidens. An especially fantastic shot involves a cloaked figure crawling alongside the roof of a building. By the end, we have multiple incidents of electronic equipment sparking in a dark laboratory. There's even a mob with torches and pitchforks chasing people through a dark cave! The cast certainly helps along this classical feel. Dwight Frye is excellent as the bat-obsessed man-child. Lionel Atwil does a good job of balancing reasonable discourse with more mad scientist-vibes. Melvyn Douglas is a fantastically entertaining hero, showing a likable degree of humor and adventurous grit. I wish Fay Wray was given more to do though...

“The Vampire Bat” mixes a few other elements into its stew. Such as broad comedy. There's a portly aunt who is prone to fainting, gets a terrible fright from a dog, and spouts nonsensical medical advice. There's the required romantic scenes, Melvyn Douglas and Fay Wray kissing over each other and sharing an apple. I also like the element of skepticism that's brought to the story. While the populace immediately jumps to vampire-filled conclusions, and even kill an innocent man because of it, the Inspector maintains that nothing supernatural is afoot... And he's right, even if the film does take a likably odd turn towards science fiction in its last act. Yes, there's a pulsating tumor in a tank of water that feeds on blood. Still, “Vampire Bat” pulls off the incredible feat of doing a “Scooby-Doo” ending without it feeling like a cheat.

“The Vampire Bat” has a pretty underwhelming conclusion, the primary threat essentially being resolved entirely off-screen. It's very creaky, as films of this age and pedigree usually are. The non-horror/mystery scene do drag after a while. However, it's fair to say this film is entirely in my wheelhouse. It has just enough of that old monster movie atmosphere to make me feel right, especially on Halloween, and the star-studded cast certainly helps me enjoy it too. By the way, this one is also in the public domain – another theme this October! – so, if that strain of bullshit sounds amusing to you, you can watch it right now totally for free. [7/10]

Them! (1954)

The horror genre changed in a lot of ways throughout the fifties. However, the idea of giant and other monsters mutated to massive size by the power of radiation will always be the defining concept of the decade to me. And, of course, the giant mutant bug movie was 1954's “Them!” While it launched countless low budget creature features, “Them!” was not a B-movie. It was a major studio release, with a considerable budget and production values. The cast was headlined by two Academy Award nominees and featured more recognizable faces. It would go on to become one of Warner Brothers' highest grossing films of the year. So that's why this film would be so influential, if you ever wondered.

A little girl is found wandering through the New Mexico desert, totally catatonic. Police discover a near-by home that's been totally destroyed by something huge. More strange disappearances start to pile up – a destroyed grocery store, the dead body inside pumped full of formic acid – before the culprit is uncovered: A colony of ants, each mutated to the size of a Buick by exposure to nuclear radiation. A special of experts is assembled, including FBI agent Robert Graham and myrmecologist Dr. Medford, are called in. If the ants can't be contained and destroyed before a second colony is formed, all of mankind may be doomed.

The temptation may be to dismiss them as campy artifacts but the giant ants of “Them!” are actually still intimidating threats. The puppets move somewhat awkward but they are massive, with huge twitching antenna and giant snapping mandibles. More disturbing yet is that immediately recognizable noise they make, an electric chattering that always proceeds their arrival. Though it seems like giant ants wouldn't be hard to miss, the ants often strike when least expected. The sequence of them slamming suddenly through a wall and dragging off a cop is still a fantastic jump scare. Sequences devoted to being in a tight, confined area with these monstrous insects are the stuff of nightmares.

Part of what makes “Them!” so effectively tense is that even regular sized ants are pretty scary. The film takes the time to emphasize ants' organization, their strength, their efficiency. “Them!” successfully argues the case that a group of enormous ants, if allowed to grow out of control, would effectively be the end of mankind. Thus, “Them!” becomes a taunt race against time. The entire second of the movie is devoted to hunting down the escaped queen ants. While the montage heavy story structure, in which the heroes chase after one lead or another, slows the pacing a bit, the audience is still on their toes worrying about the apocalyptic ramifications of the story. “Them!” then throws in some missing children, trapped right in the middle of ant country, as if to show this situation actually could get more precarious.

While “Them!” is expertly designed thriller and special effects film, what makes the extra lovable to me is its characters. These aren't just the stern-chinned scientist hero, the bland voice of authority, the shrieking love interest that you usually see in fifties sci-fi. Many of the cast members are given little quirks. Edmond Gwenn – otherwise known as Kris Kringle – as Dr. Medford struggles with his goggles or can't quite figure out the specifics of talking over radio. Joan Weldon's Pat insists on going down into the ant tunnels with the men, not once feeling in terror into a guy's arms. Even minor characters have their moments. Like Fess Parker as a pilot who spots the flying ants, assuring everyone he's not crazy. Or another ant witness, an old drunk, who happily repeats what he wants in return for the information he's providing to the government.

While the build-up to it is effectively tense, I've always found the conclusion to “Them!” slightly disappointing. Yet the film, like many that would follow, issues a warning that unregulated nuclear experimentation could lead to more monsters again. (The original “Godzilla” notably concludes with a similar moral.) And that certainly proved to be true, as just about every common insect you could think of became the topic of a monster movie. While a few came close, none quite topped the thrills and smart writing of “Them!” Though there have been a few attempts to remake the movie over the years, none of them came to fruition. You'd think the story of giant radioactive ants taking over the world would be easily retrofitted into a story of large scale urban destruction and post-9/11 anxiety. Maybe someday. Until then, the original still stands up as the superior big bug thriller. [7/10]

The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)

As the age of physical media starts to slow to a close, I wonder if certain DVD traditions will be remembered by future generations. Who will mourn for the 50 Movie DVD Box Set, the collection of public domain movies from years long since passed? It's unlikely anyone will, as those movies will now survive forever as videos on Youtube or whatever other site you prefer. If you're a horror nerd of a certain age, you almost definitely received one such release for as a gift at some point. There were some stalwart inclusions in those sets, the A-list public domain horror titles: “Night of the Living Dead,” “House on Haunted Hill,” “The Terror,” “Little Shop of Horrors” and, for some reason, “The Brain That Wouldn't Die.” So why has this rather salacious B-movie become so notorious?

Dr. Bill Cortner wants to push science to new breakthroughs, and is particularly fixated on the transplant of limbs and organs, but his peers hold him back. His girlfriend, Jan, assures him that the world will catch up with his genius eventually. After receiving an urgent phone call from a colleague, Bill and Jan speed off towards a remote cabin. Along the way, he crashes the car. Jan is seemingly killed, decapitated. Saving her head, Bill uses his experimental chemical to keep her brain and head alive. Bill starts to seek a fitting body for Jan, moral ramifications be damned. Jan, meanwhile, sinks into nihilism and soon discovers how big of a scumbag her boyfriend truly is.

Though unreleased until 1962, “The Brain That Wouldn't Die” was filmed back in 1958. If released four years earlier, the film would've been notable for being unusually downbeat for a fifties sci-fi/horror movie. There's no good guys in “The Brain That Wouldn't Die.” The earliest scene establishes Bill as an egomaniac. As the film goes on, we discover he's performed a number of deeply unethical experiments. As the story goes on, he contemplates committing murder to “save” Jan... Jan, by the way, has no desire to return to normal. She only wishes to die. After being reduced to a head in a dish, she descends totally into nihilism and psychosis. Kur, Bill's assistant, is more sympathetic. He lost an arm in the war and Bill's attempt to grow it back has left him with a deformed claw. Yet even he is more concerned with making himself whole and is compliant in the ethical violations. No attempt is ever made to redeem the doctor or anyone else.

In addition to its grim tone, “The Brain That Wouldn't Die” is also far gorier and sleazier than you'd expect from an American monster movie made in the late fifties. Instead of looking for a suitable body from Jane Does at morgues, or something reasonable like that, Bill immediately hits the strip clubs. He quickly seduces a burlesque star in a see-through body-stocking, after implying she's a prostitute. This eventually builds to a totally gratuitous cat-fight with another stripper, this one in a black bodice. This is hardly the only part of the movie where the camera leers at attractive women. There's a swimsuit contest, a shot of women walking down the street accompanying by the sleaziest music possible, and a bikini-clad model being crudely hit on by a horny photographer. (In another surprising move, she's identified as a survivor of sexual assault and basically confirmed to be  a lesbian.) As for the gore.... After a hideous side-effect of Bill's experiments is revealed – played by Eddie “The Jewish Giant” Carmel in a mound of twisted looking latex – a man has his arm torn off. Later, the same monster bites a huge chunk out of someone's neck, the camera lingering on the bloody strip of flesh. When the film isn't grim and horny, it's grim and grisly. 

Yet, despite being such a dark, unpleasant film, “The Brain That Wouldn't Die” is regarded as a so-bad-it's-good classic. That's probably because the utmost melodrama the film approaches its goofy-ass premise with. The film' dialogue is especially overwrought. Jan – reduced to just a head in a pan – rarely stops going on about how much she wishes to dead. Her conversations with Kurt, about being half-formed and the hideousness of their conditions, are especially overdone. Every discussion in the film is like this, whether it's Bill and the lesbian, Bill and the stripper, or Bill's interior monologue. This is hardly the only ridiculous part of the film. After the monster in the closest tears his arm off, Kurt takes a very long time to die. The central visual, of a woman's disembodied head in a pan of juice, is obviously more goofy than scary. 

Maybe that's why “The Brain That Wouldn't Die” is so notorious. It's regarded as an especially bad movie. After all, the film was featured on both “Mystery Science Theater 3000” and “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” Bizarrely, it has been adapted into a comedic musical stage play on three separate occasions. (Even stranger, there have been no attempts to straight-up remake the movie, despite its public domain status, well-known title, and a premise with some room for improvement.) Even though it's considered a stinker, I think “The Brain That Wouldn't Die” is slightly better than its reputation. There's something bold about how nasty, how grim it is and its mix of sleaze and cheesiness has a certain appeal to. [7/10]

Hell Night (1981)

If you're looking for a premise for your college campus-set horror movie, fraternity hazing rituals are a pretty good place to start. This form of ritualized humiliation, in order to earn the approval of drunken assholes, continues to inspire horror filmmakers to this day. Especially considering a classic form of hazing is to spend the night in a spooky house, it was inevitable that someone would combine this custom with the slasher movie premise. In fact, it didn't take long at all. In 1981, producer Bruce Cohn Curtis would recruit Tom DeSimone – who previously directed a ton of gay porn and oddball comedy “Chatterbox” – to make “Hell Night.”

Some people claim “Hell Night” is set on Halloween but there's no mention of the holiday or any other seasonal signifiers in sight, so I'm just going to assume it's a generic costume party. The time of year has come when Alpha Sigma Rho subjects new initiates to the yearly hazing rituals. That includes dragging the new student out to Garth Manor, a mansion near the campus. Legend has it, Ramon Garth had several deformed children. After Andrew was born similarly maligned, Ramon killed his wife, his kids, and himself... Except Andrew's body was never found. Supposedly, he still roams the halls of Garth Manor. Everyone thinks it's just story but mechanic's daughter Marti, rich kid Jeff, party girl Denise, and surfer dude Seth are going to find out otherwise.

Setting goes a long way in the slasher genre, where many scripts are calling upon the same collection of tropes. “Hell Night” has a hell of a setting. A dark and gloomy Victorian-style mansion proves an ideal location for a murder-filled spook show. Garth Manor is full of shadowy staircases, dark rooms, and blue-black rooftops lit only by candles or the occasional fireplace. DeSimone and his team uses this setting to build up a surprisingly sustained tension. You really feel Marti, Jeff, and Seth's desperation as the killer closes in. The last third features several sequences, such as an extended chase through underground tunnels, where the intensity never lets up. “Hell Night” keeps throwing more scares at the audience until the monster is finally banished and the sun finally rises.

Andrew Garth was never going to be an icon on the level of Jason or Michael Myers. He's simply a grunting brute with a weird shaped heads and dressed in rags. However, beginning the film with the legend around his family sure was a great idea. It builds up a mystique around the Garth Manor, making the film's ritual as much legend trip as hazing prank. You're left wondering throughout the movie how much of the legend is true, an ambiguity bolstered by the plausible appearance of an actual ghost. To this air of uncertainty, a series of decent slasher scenes are added. “Hell Night” is not extremely gory but when it does uses violence – a body tossed from a window, a scythe to the chest, a neck graphically twisted – it counts.

While likable characters are not necessary for an entertaining slasher movie, they never hurt. “Hell Night” is a mixed bag in that regard. Linda Blair, looking chubby-cheeked and voluptuous in a low cut gown, makes for a compelling final girl as Marti. I love her backstory of being a mechanic's daughter, which comes in handy later when the typically faulty slasher movie car won't start. She has nice chemistry with Peter Barton's Jeff, even if he is obnoxious about his family's wealth. Vincent Van Patton shows an amusing goofy streak as Seth, who proves surprisingly resilient and brave for the token stoner. However, most of the rest of the fratboys are just fodder. However, the one dressed up as a pirate with a parrot on his shoulder leads to a good suspense gag.

By the way, future directors-of-note Chuck Russell and Frank Darabont worked on the film, as a producer and production assistant. “Hell Night” was mildly successful upon release but dismissed by critics as just another slasher flick. Which, granted, it is though one that also connects itself with older traditions like Hammer horror and old dark house flicks. Naturally, slasher fans have embraced the flick as a minor classics in the years since. There was even rumblings of a remake, back during that period when everything was getting a remake. I know it's nothing special but I still like this one a lot. [7/10]

Haunt (2019)

It didn't even occur to me until just yesterday that 2019's wave of Halloween-set slasher movies are all attempts to ride the coattails of last year's “Halloween” reboot. (And the subsequent sequel, arriving next October.) In retrospect, even last year's “Hell Fest” was probably given a greenlight because of Michael Myers' then-forthcoming return. The most high-profile of this year's mini revival of Halloween horror is “Haunt.” The film was produced by Eli Roth and directed by the duo who wrote “A Quiet Place.” It's won the best reviews of 2019's slasher films and was given a plum release date on Shudder. As we head into the final hours of October 31st, I'll be the judge of that!

“Haunt” also superfluously resembles “Hell Fest,” as it's also another slasher movie about the “safe” horrors of a haunted attraction being invaded by real evil. It's Halloween night and Harper is reeling from a recent break-up. Her roommates hope to take her mind off things by inviting her out for a night of Halloween partying. While out, Harper meets the sort-of handsome Nathan. Nathan's friend insists on checking out a local “extreme” haunted attraction. Upon arriving, the group have to hand over their phones and sign wavers. Everything appears normal at first but soon the teens begin to suffer serious injuries. It quickly becomes clear that this is no ordinary Halloween prank. The proprietors of this haunt have murder on their mind.

I was pretty into “Haunt” for its first half-hour or so. Yes, the characters are kind of annoying. Especially the fat guy who dresses up as a solo Human Centipede. Yet once the characters arrive at the haunt, I was drawn in. The appearance of the haunt is very low-key and humble, beginning with corny scares like skeletons on springs or distorted mirror. This builds towards more intense scares playing off common phobias, like claustrophobia or arachnophobia. Probably my favorite scene in the movie is also one that was in “Hell Fest,” where a person is actually murdered and everyone assumes it's just part of the show. This version involves a witch costume and a red hot poker, which is cool. 

“Haunt” does, admittedly, have some clever ideas of its own. The film is as much “Saw” riff as slasher flick. Various traps are featured throughout the haunt, many of which put the characters in very uncomfortable situation. One involves shallow cuts appearing on the arm. A row of nails line the floor in one scene, waiting for someone to step on them. (You'll notice, this exact same gag was also in “A Quiet Place.”)  Another squirmy bit of gore involves the palm of the hand being torn away with a strip of glue. The shotgun on a timer is another relatively clever gag. The killers have a really cool look, wearing plastic store-bought mask. This is eventually revealed as a cover for far more horrific appearances, the film hinting at an odd philosophy for the clan of murderers.

However, “Haunt” features a lot modern horror tropes that I'm just so bored with. In addition to recently breaking up with her asshole boyfriend, Harper also has an emotional trauma in her past. Her father was abusive and she's haunted by a memory of dad pushing mom to the floor. This is a tiresome trope used to add emotional weight to stories in a cheap way, especially when the trauma inevitably has nothing to do with the film's story. (As it does here.) The cast of characters are mostly foul-mouthed assholes, who crack profane dialogue in some attempt to appear endearing. Naturally, they make dumb decisions too, running back into the path of danger when they have a clear chance to escape. By the end, “Haunt” is even relying on shaky-cam visuals and a blaring musical score.

The film tries to tie its various plot points together with an ending that, I think, wants to be cathartic. It doesn't work. I was still kind of on the fence about “Haunt” until a slowed-down, soft rock version of “Dragula” played over the end credits. That dropped the film down a whole number. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that all of the Halloween-themed slashers of 2019 kind of sucked, considering knock-offs are usually not very good. “Haunt” definitely doesn't beat the superior “Hell Fest” at its own game. While it's not terrible or anything, I wouldn't even say I liked it as much as “Trick.” [5/10]

2019 wasn't the smoothest Halloween I've ever had. I got the stomach flu mid-way through October, which seriously threw me off my game for a few days. I've spent the last two weeks desperately trying to catch up, which sucked a lot of the fun out of the proceedings for me. In general, trying to balance the Blog-a-Thon with my new life responsibilities was tricky. And, yes, the 31st did not go the way I had originally planned. Thank the rain and wind for that one.

However, let's applaud the effort. This year, I watched fewer films than I usually do – topping out at around 97 – but more television episodes. While marathoning my way through the third season of “Tales from the Cryptkeeper” and the second season of “Forever Knight” wasn't much fun, I did really enjoy sampling a selection of different anthology series. I will definitely be doing that again next year. On the film side, I ran through a number of interesting themes and series. I watched all sorts of cool stuff I hadn't seen before and re-watched a number of films I love. That is a big part of why I do the Halloween Horror-Fest Blog-a-Thon after all. So even if keeping up with the daily habit of watching and reviewing two movies and two TV episodes was sometimes exhausting, I'm still satisfied with what I accomplished.

The bitchin' mask.

And now it's November first. The sun will be rising soon. I have stayed up through the night and greeted the Harvest. I can hear them now, the ghosts singing sad songs as they shimmer back to their crypts. The candle lights flickering out inside the Jack O'Lantern, the dancing skeletons dancing so hard they crumble to dust. The bats have left the bell tower. The victims have been bled. The wolves have howled until they can't howl anymore. Yes, it is bittersweet when Halloween ends. Yet putting the spookiest, scariest season of the year to bed also comes with a promise. Renewal. Return. Like a slasher movie villain, Halloween will be back.

And so will I. 2019's Halloween Horror-Fest Blog-a-Thon is completed. I had a blast. I hope you did too. Thank you all for reading and see you again real soon.