Last of the Monster Kids

Last of the Monster Kids
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Thursday, October 10, 2019

Halloween 2019: October 9th


A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

“A Nightmare on Elm Street 3” ended on a fairly definitive note, Freddy Krueger seemingly being killed off for good. However, the film was a huge hit for New Line Cinema. Moreover, the rising success of the first three films had created a public frenzy for Freddy Krueger content. The character was showing up on MTV, both as a host and in music videos. Robert Englund appeared, both in and out of make-up, on sketch comedy shows and “The Tonight Show.” Toys and other merchandise was starting to pop up. America was officially in the bladed grips of Freddy-Mania. And New Line Cinema would be stupid not to capitalize on that. Thus, “A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master” would slash its way into theaters in 1988.

Because “Dream Warriors” seemingly concluded a lot of plot points, “Nightmare 4” had to be clever to keep the story going... Or, at least, it should have been. Instead, the fourth sequel cleans the slate as quickly and sloppily as possible. Freddy is brought back to life in an utterly ridiculous sequence, involving a dog urinating flaming piss onto his skeleton. I think this was meant to imply his sanctified grave was desecrated somehow, freeing his evil spirit once more, but the movie never explains any further. Following that laugher of a scene, Freddy goes about murdering the surviving Dream Warriors as quickly as possible. Two of the deaths aren't even that memorable, Kincaid merely being stabbed and the recast Kristen simply tossed into the furnace. The sequel is too eager to restore the status quo, to get Freddy back in action and slashing through a new group of teens, and doesn't care how cheaply it achieves that.

“Dream Warriors” birthed clown-shoes Freddy but at least kept him as an intimidating figure. “Dream Master” cements the character's transformation from vile child murderer to wisecracking anti-hero. When Freddy is on screen, it's rare that he isn't spouting a joke or one-liner. He dresses up as a doctor, hangs out in a dinner, and writes taunting messages on a black board. Most of the death scenes are extended visual puns, wet dreams and sucking face being literalized. Goofball Freddy hits his nadir during two sequences. The first of which has the burned-face dream demon donning sunglasses by the ocean, a moment I've dubbed “Beach Party Freddy.” The second is an utterly ridiculous dream where Alice's brother is beset by an invisible Krueger, maybe the lamest nightmare sequence in the entire series. (It is unsurprising to read this was a cheaper replacement for a sequence deemed too expensive to film.)

“Nightmare on Elm Street 3” succeeded largely because you actually liked the characters. The fourth film fails largely because you don't care about the characters. This is most apparent with our final girl, Alice, who does not stand up to the standard set by Nancy and Kristen. In fact, Alice is shockingly passive. The plot machinations have her absorbing the abilities of her friends after Freddy kills them... Meaning Alice can't grow as a character until after everyone around her dies. Thus, the hero of the film, on more than one occasion, sits back and watches as the people she supposedly cares about are slaughtered. She doesn't actually advance the plot any until the final act, when she finally takes the fight to Krueger... A confrontation the character in no way earns, since she's been so inactive up to that point. And then she saves the day with some bullshit nursery rhyme out of nowhere, which is just barely set up beforehand.

In “Dream Warriors,” the teens were assigned gimmicks without being reduced down to those gimmicks, still having identifiable personalities and quirks. The teens of “The Dream Master,” on the other hand, are nothing but gimmicks. The sequel sets up these defining elements as heavy-handily as possible. So Alice's brother is into karate. Nerdy friend Sheila is a brainy inventor and asthmatic. Auxiliary friend Debbie is into fitness and has a cockroach phobia. All of these characteristics are established quickly not because they actually tell us anything about these people or reflect a greater personality. They exist simply to set-up the elaborate death scenes later in the movie. This even extends to the returning characters. Joey is now defined solely by his horniness, Kincaid by his tough guy anger, Kirsten by her dream-merging superpowers.

“A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master” is truly a film that values style over substance. Director Renny Harlin, coming off indie horror hit “Prison” and before he became an action movie specialist, affects an energetic MTV-style approach. (MTV is referenced directly a few times.) The film's production design is excellent, reflected in the spiral checkers of a classroom, a brooding old movie theater, or the blasted-out remains of a gothic cathedral. A few stinkers aside, the death scenes are likably gooey too. Sheila having her eyeballs sucked out by a deadly kiss or Joey's wet dreams are classics for a reason. Debbie having her arms torn open before being transformed into a giant cockroach is such a squirm-inducing moment that it got its own action figure. Freddy himself gets a corker of a death scene himself, his body torn apart from the inside out.

Whatever qualms I have with “A Nightmare on Elm Street 4,” the public clearly did not share them. It became the highest grossing entry in the entire series, at least until an epic crossover fifteen years later dethroned it. A sequel that favors special effects over character and story didn't dissuade ticket-buyers any. Fans generally like this one too, Alice being something of a favorite, so I guess I'm really the odd man out here. Nevertheless, without part four's success, we never would've gotten the Fat Boys video, the storytime hotline, the talking doll, the sing-a-long record, and all the other weird Freddy Krueger shit I love so much. So I guess “The Dream Master” has its place. [5/10]



The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane (1976)

Sometimes, a title is all you need to be intrigued. I first read about “The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane” in a long ago message board thread, trying to identify an old movie poster. The person described an eerie image of a little blonde girl holding a teddy bear before an ominous mansion, uncertain of the title. Someone responded by saying this was definitely “The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane,” though O.P. assured him that wasn't it. (He was wrong.) I had no idea what the film was but that title, when paired with the promise of a spooky motion picture of some sort, caught my attention. The movie wouldn't come out on DVD for a while longer, adding to the mysteriousness. Now, of course, the film can be enjoyed on an extra-packed Blu-Ray.

Rynn Jacobs is a thirteen year old girl who has recently moved from England to a small town in Maine. She claims to live with her father, a well-known poet, in their scenic but isolated home. Yet Rynn is always alone. Despite her age, the girl takes care of herself, living off the considerable fortune accrued by her father. Rynn's independence soon puts her in conflict with the people around town. Her landlady is nosy and keeps asking to see what's in the cellar. Her son, a known sexual predator, continues to show a deeply unwanted interest in Rynn. The independent girl has many secrets of her own, further threatened when she starts to form a romantic relationship with a boy from the village.

“The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane” is usually categorized as a horror movie, simply because it is not easily classified as anything else. It's a character-based story, with humor and drama, largely confined to one location. (Unsurprisingly, the book's author originally adapted it as a stage play.) However, macabre elements do emerge from time to time. An accidental death early on largely motivates the story. The exact details of what Rynn is keeping in her cellar are left off-screen but the grisly reality is more than hinted at. Primarily, an unease frequently emerges whenever Frank Hallet forces his way into Rynn's house. Even before the audience learns what his deal is, sexual menace hangs heavily in the air. After he tortures Rynn's pet hamster to death, it's clear how dangerous he is, causing the tension to go up every time he's on-screen. That peaks with the deeply uneasy climax, the final confrontation between the two.

As tense a thriller as “The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane” can be, the film also contains a touching teenage romance inside. It is by chance that Rynn meets up with Mario Miglioriti, the boy riding by on a bike just when she needs a helping hand. The two immediately bound over their mutual statuses as outsiders, as Mario is is a socially ostracized cripple. Unlike everyone else she encounters, Mario respects Rynn's independence and her private space. Soon, the develop serious feelings for each other. In a controversial scene, the two slip into bed together. In that moment, Mario subsequently sums things up by saying the two of them have been through more in their thirteen years than most have been through in their whole lives. To see Rynn, a character so tough and independent, show a vulnerable side around this truly worthy man is very touching.

This is the kind of film that wouldn't have worked without the right star. I don't think “The Little Girl Who Lived Down the Lane” would have been made at all without Jodie Foster. Foster is unparalleled as Rynn, with her buckteeth and long blonde hair. Foster absolutely inhabits the role of a deeply independent teen, a girl whose force of personality is so strong that she intimidates most adults. Yet Foster doesn't let Rynn be defined by her outward coldness, hinting frequently at the hurt that causes her to build these walls of isolation. She leads an accomplished cast. Martin Sheen's greasiness is perfectly utilized as the deeply unnerving Frank Hallet and Scott Jacoby has such an easy-going chemistry with Foster.

“The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane” is obviously a fable of some sort. The film can't help but remind me of “Pippi Longstocking” a little, with its story of an extraordinary young girl who lives alone without any adult supervision and, in fact, has no need for it. The film seems to be arguing for child independence, as Rynn is more than capable of taking care of herself. Most of the adults only seek to exploit her for one reason or another, meaning she's more than justified in wanting to be left alone. Or maybe this is an oddball coming-of-age story, as the love Rynn grows for Mario causes her to come out of her childish isolation, making this an odd story of maturation. Whatever the motivation, it's clear something deeper is going on in the mind of the film.

Upon release, the actual quality “The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane” was largely overshadowed by a controversy surrounding its sexual content. The studio supposedly insisted a nude scene be inserted and Foster, about the same age as her character, refused to participate. (Her older sister was her body double during the brief sequence.) This certainly speaks towards an uncomfortable willingness for filmmakers to sexualize Foster right at the start of her career. Read into that however you want, though the scene plays as fairly innocent in context. Luckily, in time, the controversy faded and people have been able to appreciate “The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane” for the odd, entrancing, effective thriller it is. [8/10]



Tales from the Cryptkeeper: All Booked Up

There was a big push towards literacy among kids in the nineties and, unsurprisingly, “Tales from the Cryptkeeper's” preachy third season had to touch on this as well. The episode follows a rowdy skateboarding kid who wants nothing to do with reading, despite his nerdier friend's insistence that books are cool. Eventually, the kid is forced by a teacher to actually read a book and write an accompanying essay. He naturally resents this but ends up in a spooky library anyway. The Cryptkeeper provides him with books that literally suck Greg inside the narratives. He lives through parts of “Frankenstein,” “The Man in the Iron Mask,” and “Tom Sawyer.”

“All Booked Up” barely classifies as an episode of a horror series. Yes, there is a cobweb strewn old building. Yeah, the first book Greg lives through is “Frankenstein.” It's nice to see a kid's show presenting the intelligent, speechifying creature from Shelley's novel. But focusing the other two segments on non-horror classic novels really pushes outside what should be the scope of this episode. Greg's transformation from book-hating layabout to bibliophile happens far too quickly. Of course, that the moral is so thuddingly obvious – reading is cool, kids! – drains the episode of any actual energy or entertainment factor. The Cryptkeeper is really suffering, his macabre puns being largely put aside in favor of just directly telling the audience to read a fucking book. I'm all for encouraging a love of reading in children but this shit is not how you do it. When am I going to be done with this show? [4/10]


Forever Knight: Curiousier and Curiousier

It seems every genre TV show has to touch upon the dream episode at least once, so here's “Forever Knight” putting its spin on the concept. Nick and Schanke visit Janette's goth club, only for the night to be interrupted by two masked gunmen. Nick intervenes and stops the gunmen but only after they shoot an innocent bystander dead. The trauma affects Nick to such a degree that he has a momentary break from reality. He imagines a world where he's not a vampire, where Janette is his wife and they have a baby, where Natalie is his captain and his captain runs the goth club. Where the radio DJ known as the Nightcrawler has just been stabbed to death through the heart.

Like many of these dream episodes, “Curiousier & Curiousier” shows its hand early on. It's pretty clear early on that Nick is just having an extended bad dream. The episode is peppered with Lewis Carroll references, from little caterpillar statues to repeated quotations from Carol's actual books. (Though hearing Nigel Bennett quote Caroll's various poems is a delightful sound.) What's fun about this episode is not figuring out where it's headed but seeing these characters in wildly different context. It's fun to see Natalie as a saucy seductress or Janette as an over-stressed housewife. As the episode grows more surreal, there's fun to had there as well. A fight scene between Nick and LaCroix is a definite high-light of the episode. Though the ending feels like a cliffhanger that, it appears, is never actually followed up on which just raises more questions. [7/10]

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