Director Report Card: Barry Sonnenfeld (2016)

11. Nine Lives

When a filmmaker you like starts to consistently make bad movies, it raises a lot of questions. You start to wonder: Was this director ever good? Have they always been hacks? Were their successes flukes? Was their prior films entertaining only because they surrounded themselves with talent? Or did they loose something over the years, some spark they had once before? Is a maker of bad movies born bad or do they become that way over time? These are the questions I ask myself as I sit down to review “Nine Lives,” the notorious 2016 critical flop about sex pest Kevin Spacey being transformed into an adorable kitty cat. 

Tom Brand is a highly successful business mogul, prone to elaborate publicity stunts like parachuting out of an airplane into a press conference. His latest stunt is building the tallest tower in the Northern Hemisphere. Or, at least, it would be if a miscalculation hadn't left the building a few feet short. His devotion to his business has left Tom's wife and daughter, Lara and Rebecca, increasingly isolated from him. (As well as his adult son, David.) Little Rebecca desperately wants a cat for her birthday and, even though Tom hates cats, he complies. An accident involving the skyscraper's lightning rod, just after Tom purchases a cat named Mr. Fuzzy Pants, has him falling into a coma... His body anyway. Tom's mind awakens in Mr. Fuzzy Pants' pawed body. Now, if he hopes to return to his actual body, he has to prove his love to his wife and kids. 

In my review of “RV,” I noted that it was the second redemptive parent comedy Barry Sonnenfeld had directed. I wondered if this was a pattern. Looks like I was right, as “Nine Lives” is his third such story. Once again, we are presented with the tale of a father overly devoted to his work. Tom is so preoccupied with his job, that he seems to actively resent his wife and children most of the time. He's so clueless about his daughter's wants and needs that he got her a foosball table before getting her the cat she's been begging for. We are faced again with the story of a father learning to put aside his capitalistically oriented desires and make room for what's really important in life. I have to wonder, for the second time, if this plot device is so common that it's mere coincidence that Sonnenfeld made this type of story a third time. Or if something about this particular premise appeals to him on a personal level. 

It's possible I'm reading too much into this. In many ways, “Nine Lives” is the most underachieving of family comedies. It pairs the all-too-typical redemptive parent premise with the easiest of kids flick set-ups: Adorable animal shenanigans. I'd say at least half of “Nine Lives” is made up of Mr. Fuzzy Pants doing typically cute cat things. The most elaborate of which is standing on his paws and dancing with Rebecca. Because “Nine Lives” was a studio movie with more money than most cheapie animal-themed kids flicks, there's several shots of a CGI kitty performing acrobatic stunts. Like flipping through the air to bop someone on the head or falling from a tall height.

Obviously, feline antics such as these are designed to entertain only the most indiscriminating of film goers. There's the required gross-out gags of the cat peeing in places where an animal should not pee. (Amazingly, “Nine Lives” avoids any fur ball jokes.) At least the film doesn't resort to using creepy CGI to animate Mr. Fuzzy Pants' lips. Instead, Kevin Spacey merely provides voiceover narration over countless animal reaction shots. Yet, surprisingly, there is a certain amusement factor to these moments. A cat wryly commenting on the humans around him, unaware of his sarcastic thoughts, is literally just the premise of “Garfield...” But, if nothing else, it works better here than it did in the actual “Garfield” movies.

Of course, watching “Nine Lives” in 2021 is a slightly different experience than watching it in 2016. At the time of the movie's release,  Kevin Spacey's predatory sexual habits were only rumored and wouldn't be fully confirmed until about a year later. Seeing a two-time Oscar winner commit to the role of a quipping kitty cat was just extremely embarrassing at the time. Now, it's kind of creepy. Kevin Spacey's consciousness being allowed to roam a home, interacting with little children and young men, can't help but be uncomfortable now. This inevitably colors one's perception of “Nine Lives,” turning an innocent enough family movie into a slightly uncomfortable viewing experience. 

And yet, I am surprised to say I found myself almost liking “Nine Lives” at times. There's an important difference between this film and “RV.” In “RV,” the Munro family is basically rich. The dad was a low-level marketing exec and they could afford to go on a costly cross-country trip with no pressure. The implications of this was never interrogated or considered. In “Nine Lives,” the family is extremely rich. Tom refers to himself as the third richest man in New York City. The real third richest man in Manhattan is Rupert Murdoch, who is worth 20 billion dollars, to give you an idea of the character's wealth. Yet this movie is almost solely devoted to humiliating the billionaire patriarch, to continuously putting him in situations that challenge his “captain of industry” self-perception. The process of being turned into a kitty cat doesn't make him any less of a rich D-bag but at least he's getting some degree of punishment for his behavior.

Against all evidence otherwise, somehow, I ended up finding myself kind of invested in the sentimental side of this ridiculous film. In “RV,” everyone in the family treated each other terribly. In “Nine Lives,” Tom is the only one that acts in a generally selfish manner. His daughter is genuinely adorable and I couldn't stop myself from feeling a little sympathy for her. Once she becomes convinced her dad's soul is inside a house cat's body, “Nine Lives” takes on a perversely tragic element. Look at this from the mom's perspective. Her husband is in a coma and the only way her daughter can deal with the trauma of that is fixating on the last gift her father gave her, to the point where she literally believes the cat is her dad. If “Nine Lives” wasn't an underachieving kids flick, this set-up probably could've been explored in a deeper, more dramatic fashion. 

But, alas, “Nine Lives” is still an underachieving kids flick. This means, inevitably, it becomes more tedious than bizarrely entertaining. One of the movie's subplot involves an underling of Tom's attempting to steal the business from him, as he lingers in his coma. The guy, who is nothing but the most paper thin of bad guys, acts as if Tom's already dead and immediately sets about discarding his legacy. There are multiple scenes devoted to this subplot, with a missing contract even being a plot point. I really couldn't bring myself to care about any of this. Moreover, I can't imagine any of the kids this movie is ostensibly targeting at being interested in this stuff at all. 

Then again, is “Nine Lives” targeted at children? That seems to be an obvious enough assumption, considering the content of 90 percent of its run time. Yet this talking cat movie takes a weirdly morbid turn in its last act. Tom becomes increasingly certain that he will never awaken from his coma, that he's doomed to live out the rest of his life as Mr. Fuzzy Pants. David, seemingly, becomes so distraught at the idea of loosing his father's business that he apparently plans to commit suicide. Yeah, he climbs to the top of the skyscraper and prepares to throw himself off, his dad-cat observing all of this. It all ends up being the most contrived of misdirects but introducing the idea of suicide into a movie marketed towards seven-year-olds is fucking weird, to say the least. 

As I've said before, “Nine Lives” has a premise barely distinct from any number of ultra low-budget fair. Despite sounding potentially abreast with one of David DeCoteau's kiddie flicks, “Nine Lives” attracted a weirdly A-list cast. Aside from Spacey, the movie also features Jennifer Garner and Christopher Walken. Garner plays Tom's wife, a fairly non-spectacular role that could've been played by anyone. For what it's worth, Garner seems genuinely invested in the part and especially in her scene with Malina Weissman. Weissman plays the daughter and she gives a pretty cute performance. Go figure: A little girl enjoyed playing with a friendly cat. As for Walken, he plays a role very similar to his part in “Click,” as a weirdly omniscient deliver of justice to workaholic dads. Let it never be said that Christopher Walken isn't entertaining though and he manages to wring some low-key laughs via virtue solely of his trademark weirdo energy. 

I have no idea what attracted Barry Sonnenfeld to this material. The paycheck, probably. At the very least, he seems more invested here than in “RV.” His trademark acrobatic camera work is present, in sweeping shots around the city. Or in tracking shots as Mr. Fuzzy Pant sails down the side of a building. Also, I remain impressed that the movie managed to get a performance out of several house cats. Have you ever tried to train a house cat? It's impossible. This one rolls around on its back, jumps on cue, and looks adorable on-camera. Gotta give some props for that. I also have to give props for a last minute cameo from the late Lil' Bub, beloved internet cat video icon.

Ultimately, what else can be said about “Nine Lives?” It is the lamest of low-brow kid entertainment. At the same time, there's a bizarre value to this movie. Watching this level of talent, this recognizable of a cast, degrade themselves for such mediocre material is strangely fascinating. So is the weird back-and-forth between the movie's childish ideas and its sometimes morbid plot points. It's in no way a good movie. It's also not a so-bad-it's-good movie, producing few ironic laughs or moments of unintentional hilarity. Yet I don't entirely regret watching it and, in an odd way, it even sort of worked for me at times? Consider this the faintest of praise to damn with but: It's better than “RV.” It's not Barry Sonnenfeld's worst movie. [Grade: C]

At the other end of this retrospective, here's where I stand on Barry Sonnenfeld. Dude has still made some movies I really love. His “Addams Family” duo and the original “Men in Black” will always remain nostalgic favorites of mine. I even found myself defending some less well-loved corners of his career during this look back. Yet the guy has also made some really mediocre-to-terrible motion pictures. Considering the “Men in Black” franchise – his remaining ace-up-his-sleeve – has moved on, I don't know what the future of Sonnenfeld's career will be. He's written a well-regarded memoir and has gotten some work on TV. If he does direct another motion picture again, hopefully it'll be closer in quality to his earlier work than his latter-day material.