Halloween 2020: September 30th

Lake Placid (1999)

In the 1990s, the advances made in special effects – especially the advent of CGI – would cause studios to revisit cinematic fads of the past. Because the nineties was also the decade of Gen-X sarcasm, many of these revivals had their tongues planted firmly in cheek. So “Twister,” “Independence Day,” and “Volcano” blew up the disaster movie premise in terms of special effects and dumb-ass comic relief. We also got a wave of new monster movies, likely inspired by “Jurassic Park's” blockbuster status. Some – like “The Relic,” “Phantoms,” or “Mimic” – were mostly serious. The likes of “Deep Rising,” “Anaconda,” “Deep Blue Sea,” and 1998's “Godzilla” paired B-movie premises with big budgets and sarcastic screenplays. None of these end-of-the-decade creature features would be more glib than “Lake Placid.”

Despite the title, “Lake Placid” does not take place in the well known ski town in upstate NewYork. Instead it takes place in Black Lake, a small town in Aroostook, Maine. Sheriff Hank Keough is out on the titular body of water with a game warden, who is then pulled underwater and bitten in half by a large animal. Kelly Scott, a paleontologist from Manhattan, is brought in to investigated and quickly deduces that the teeth in the corpse is from a crocodile. A fish and game warden named Jake Wells and a crocodile-obsessed mythology professional named Hector Cyr soon join the hunt for the aquatic reptile. Soon enough, they find the thirty-foot long crocodile that is eating people.

“Lake Placid” was directed by Steve Miner, who certainly had lots of experience directing cheap thrills-filled genre pictures. The man behind “Friday the 13th” parts 2 and 3, “House,” and “Halloween H20” knew how to create a well-balanced giant croc flick. Clearly inspired by “Jaws,” the movie keeps the giant reptile off-screen for most of its run time. When the croc does appear, it usually in well utilized jump scares. A deputy getting his head suddenly lobbed off or the croc overturning a canoe happen suddenly enough to get a reaction out of the viewer. There's a certain degree of off-beat humor to how unexpected these moments are. Which is also clear in the scene where the croc drags a running bear into the lake. Miner even manages to generate some okay suspense, in a scene where Kelly is trapped underwater and nearly gets devoured. Yes, the CGI effects have aged pretty poorly, further justifying Miner's decision to limit the monster's screen time. (Stan Winston provides the practical effects, which are naturally excellent.)

Ultimately, it is not Miner's aesthetic that directs “Lake Placid.” The film was written by David E. Kelly. Yes, the creator of “Alley McBeal,” which was a pop culture phenomenon at the time. Kelly's script is defined by sarcasm. The characters speak entirely in snarky insults, directed at one another. The neurotic female protagonist – whose relationship troubles seem right out of “McBeal” – mocks the lack of niceties in rural Maine. Even though Sheriff Hank does his best to accept everyone, he is treated exclusively like a backwards hick. This is further emphasized when Cyr enters the story, as he's nothing less than belligerent in his tendency to insult the locals. There's also a saucy female deputy, who wants to sleep with him for no particular reason. “Lake Placid” even includes some hacky slapstick and crude sex jokes. Kelly clearly wasn't taking this seriously. That's also evident in the film's staunch refusal to justify how a giant saltwater crocodile could survive in frigid New England waters or how it even got in the lake in the first place.

Which isn't to say that the humor in “Lake Placid” is unsuccessful. A sequence where the heroes attempt to lure the croc out, by airlifting a cow, is pretty funny. The cast often goes a long way towards making the jokes work. It's less funny now, because we're so used to seeing her in this type of role, but casting Betty White as the foul-mouthed keeper of the crocodile was a good gag in 1999. Brendan Gleeson is entertaining as the put-upon Sherrif Keough, grimacing through all the abuse heaped on him with a grumpy frown and a barely disguised Scottish accent. (He's certainly a lot better than Oliver Platt as Cyr, who is at his most insufferable.) Bill Pullman has a more appealing snideness and plays off Bridget Fonda decently, even if the romance between them is a total non-starter.

Compared to the other killer animal thrillers from around the same time, “Lake Placid” would not be quite as a successful. Perhaps this is why 20th Century Fox would wait eight years before it started cranking out sequels. “Lake Placid 2” would be released direct-to-video in 2007, quickly being followed by five other DTV sequels, the most recent one being in 2018. Somewhere in there was a versus flick with the “Anaconda” franchise and a not-so-final final chapter. I have no idea if these sequels continue the original's smart-alack tone but, from what I hear, they do feature lots of shitty CGI crocodiles. As for the original “Lake Placid,” it has its moments but probably should have focused more on the crocodile mayhem than the sitcom style humor. The damn thing is only 82 minutes long though, so you won't be wasting much time on it. [6/10]

This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse (1967)

Esta Noite Encarnarei no Teu Cadáver

If “At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul” was Brazil's first horror movie, than “This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse” was destined to be Brazil's first horror sequel. Jose Mojica Marins would not immediately return to Coffin Joe. He would make two other films, in 1965 and 1966, at least one of which is supposedly a horror movie. (Though there's almost no information out there on it.) Yet clearly the vicious undertaker with the long fingernails was still rattling around inside his mind. A far more ambitious and more professional-looking sequel, “This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse” would continue the saga of Zé do Caixão, further turning Marins and his trademark character into genre icons.

The opening minutes of the sequel reveal that Coffin Joe did not die at the end of “At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul.” Apparently the vengeful ghosts of his victims just roughed him up a little. After some time in the hospital – and seemingly having learned nothing from his previous encounter with the supernatural – Zé do Caixão heads to another village. Joined by a henchman named Bruno, he continues his quest for the perfect woman to beget the perfect son with. After kidnapping, torturing, and murdering several women, he finds the ideal candidate. Yet  Zé soon finds himself pissing off the locals and facing another otherworldy curse. 

While its predecessor was truly the first of its kind, “This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse” is more of a traditional exploitation film. Marins' influences are more obvious. Coffin Joe gains a deformed sidekick named Bruno, likely inspired by “The Awful Dr. Orloff's” deformed sidekick Morpho. The film introduces a bevy of female characters, who spend most of their screen time in see-through negligees. The camera makes sure to zoom-in on their legs, thighs, asses, and breasts while spiders or snakes crawl over them. Marins clearly learned more about film-making between 1964 and 1967, so the sequel is more polished in its presentation... Which has the unfortunate side-effect of stripping away some of the home-made charm that was so appealing about “At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul.”

Marins didn't just spend the two years between Coffin Joe movies improving his technical know-how. “This Night” devotes far more time to its villain's philosophy. We see more of his soft spot for kids, like in an almost sweet moment where he saves a boy from a speeding motorcycle and calms his tears with a small music box. This protectiveness extends to fetuses, making Coffin Joe one of the few explicitly pro-life horror villains. Watching Marins pontificate in his theatrical style is entertaining... Yet far too much of “This Night I'll Posses Your Corpse” is devoted to speechifying. Joe monologues at his unwilling harem, at Bruno, at his enemies, and – in one scene – even at himself. The pacing issues apparent in “At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul” really come to the forefront here, as the film stops cold whenever Joe begins his dissertations. At nearly two hours long, the sequel seriously starts to drag before it's over. I appreciate the character development but this was a bit much. 

And then there's the question of why Marins devotes so much time to Joe's  übermensch beliefs. No matter how gleefully sadistic the first film was – or how charismatic Joe is – your sympathies were clearly meant to lie with his beleaguered victims. In the sequel, Joe's adversaries are a greedy colonel, a not-too-bright strong man, and his thug-like friends. Though he occasionally gets his ass kicked, Coffin Joe ultimately outsmarts or kills all of them. When the mother of Joe's supposedly perfect offspring dies, his grief is played totally straight. Combined with multiple scenes of people, usually attractive women, praising Zé do Caixão as the perfect man, you begin to wonder if this project was an ego trip for its autuer. Other moments make me wonder if the film is more self-aware than that. After all, Coffin Joe is a hypocrite. As he sinks into a bog in the final minutes, he denounces his evil ways and begs God for forgiveness. An earlier scene, after hearing his bride is pregnant, has Joe rejoicing to the swell of the Hallelujah Chorus. This is a juxtaposition so absurd, it has to be deliberate. So it's hard to say how much we're suppose to relish in Coffin Joe's amoral antics or how full of shit he's suppose to be. 

For all its flaws, “This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse” is still capable of generating some effective horror imagery. The pure sadism in scenes of Joe slamming an axe into someone's face, or slowly crushing an enemy with a boulder, is still startling. The clear highlight of the film is Joe's nightmare vision of Hell. An eerie spectre – tall, thin, faceless, black-as-pitch – drags Joe from his bed. Hands bursts from graves and pull him below. While the rest of the film is monochrome, Hell is in searing, psychedelic color. Some of the sights, like red-skinned demons graphically jabbing damned souls with pitchforks, are classical. Others are truly bizarre, like a man transformed into a screaming wall of flesh. Heads, limbs, asses and boobs protrude from cave walls. This inferno is both blisteringly hot and freezing cold. The sound design, hellish shrieks and strange moans, is overwhelming. While the rest of “This Night” is devoted to trashy thrills and spooky atmosphere, its vision of perdition is truly unlike anything else I've seen, equal parts hokey and horrifying but totally original. 

It's only mentioned briefly but “This Night” reveals Zé do Caixão's real name as Josefel Zanatas. (The last name being the Portuguese word for “Satan” backwards.) This was part of a larger back story Marins conceived for the character. Apparently, Coffin Joe developed his nihilistic viewpoints as a solider in World War II. Marins clearly clearly didn't have the budget to depict that but I wish we had seen a little more of that back story. “This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse” can't help but pale in comparison to its predecessor. It's too long, too slow, and too talky... Except for that trip to Hell, which is amazing and makes the whole thing worth seeing. [7/10]

Night Gallery: A Question of Fear

Much like Rod Serling's earlier, better known series, not every episode of “Night Gallery” fell easily into the horror genre. Some episodes dealt with light magical-realism, comedy, or science fiction. Some episodes, however, went right after that goal of making people squeal. “A Question of Fear” has that most classic of horror premises. A man in a bar tells stories of his ghostly encounters, largely within the extremely haunted house he owns. A big game hunter and colonel – played by Leslie Nielson in an eye-patch! – inside the bar is unimpressed. He claims nothing can scare him. The owner makes him an offer: Stay 24 hours inside his house and 10,000 dollars is all his. As soon as the hunter steps inside the house, it's apparent something is up.

“A Question of Fear” doesn't waste much time getting to the point. Right after the bet is established, Nielson is immediately entering the home. After that, the episode starts bombarding the viewer with spooky stuff. Blood drips down onto hands, cobwebs line doorways, sinister laughter is heard. A very cool video effect is used to bring the ghosts to life, coloring them in pulsating rainbow hues. There's even an effective jump scare, when one such ghost leaps out suddenly at the camera. As we'd learn in the next decade, Leslie Nielson is extremely talented at keeping a straight face, no matter what. His nonchalance at the spook show happening around him is the perfect pairing to the in-your-face haunting.

“Night Gallery” being the kind of show it is, “A Question of Fear” has a twist about a third of the way through. After his first night in the supposedly haunted house, Nielson's colonel gets a very lengthy explanation behind the real reason he was invited here. This extremely talky sequence drags down the pacing of what was a speedy episode up to this point. Just when it seems like this dragging denouncement is reaching its point, the story concludes on a very underwhelming note. It's a shame that “A Question of Fear” wraps up so badly, as I was really enjoying it up to that point. Still, it is worth seeing for Nielson's performance. [6/10]

Forever Knight: Sons of Belial 

“Forever Knight: Season Three” gets spookier with “Sons of Belial.” While babbling in Latin, a woman runs over a cop before driving her car off a bridge. Nick and Tracy investigate, learning from her religious fanatic brother that she was seeing an exorcist. The cops go to meet the priest just as he's exorcising a man. At that point, the demon leaps into Nick. He soon feels a dark power creeping over him. After nearly attacking another vampire at the Raven Club, Nick talks LaCroix into taking him back to the exorcist. The whole ordeal reminds Nick of a time, during the Inquisition, where he and LeCroix were almost burned alive for the crime of being vampires.

Usually when TV shows take a stab at the demon possession genre, the results are pretty cheesy. It's hard to replicate “The Exorcist” and stay within network standards. “Sons of Belial” features lots of Nick making goofy faces, speaking in a deepened voice, and floating in the air. Yet the exorcism scenes are still strongly directed, generating a reasonable amount of frenzied tension. Bringing LeCroix into this situation was a good idea, as it forces the elder vampire to acknowledge the goodness inside his off-spring in order to save him. The flashback sequences are strong too, as it concerns Nick saving a man from the stake by revealing his fangs. (The flashbacks also reveal that Nick and LeCroix used to be atheist, which is a weird thing for vampires with a natural fear of the cross to believe.) On the downside, this episode intentionally rolls back the progress Nick and Natalie made in their relationship last time. Status quo is god, I guess. Still, this is definitely one of the better season three episodes so far. [7/10]