Halloween 2023: October 26th

Transylvania 6-5000 (1985)

Many moons ago, my best buddy JD bought a four-pack of horror comedies on DVD. I was pretty sure the set was put out by Anchor Bay but apparently it was an Image release. Anyway, the movie included in the set were “Elvira, Mistress of the Dark,” “Return of the Killer Tomatoes,” “House II: The Second Story,” and “Transylvania 6-5000.” While the first three made frequent appearances in our college dorm room DVD player, I never actually bothered watching the last one. I've always been curious about “Transylvania 6-5000,” however, largely because it has a fairly stacked cast of beloved eighties performers. The sole theatrically released directorial credit of frequent Mel Brooks collaborator Rudy De Luca, the monster mash comedy has picked up a very small cult following over the years. 

Sleazy tabloid The Sensation is sent footage from Transylvania that seems to depict Frankenstein's monster. Writer Jack Harrison is skeptical but his partner Gil – the son of the paper's owner – is eager to investigate. The two travel to Transylvania, where their concerns are quickly dismissed by Mayor Lepescu. However, while staying at a local hotel, they notice how eccentric the staff is. While Jack romances a local named Elizabeth, Gil is seemingly haunted by a sexy vampire. The duo soon get on the trail of Dr. Malaqaqua, a local physician who seems to be keeping a whole horde of classic monsters in his asylum... Including a large, muted, flat-headed brute.

Given his connections to Brooks and Marty Feldman, one can't help but assume that Rudy De Luca was inspired by “Young Frankenstein.” While that film was a loving homage to Universal's “Frankenstein” series, parodying many specific scenes, “Transylvania 6-5000” is more of a generic riff on classic monster tropes. In addition to a shambling flesh golem, the film includes a vampire, some hunchbacks, a mad scientist, a mummy, a wolfman, and a fortune teller. However, the monster themselves are rarely the butts of the jokes. The hairy lycanthrope having a Brooklyn accent and a foul mouth ranks as one of the film's more biting gags. There's a few silly spoofs on Browning's “Dracula” and a minor gag about hearing a monster in the bushes. For the most part though, “Transylvania 6-5000” seems less invested in mashing its monsters together than you might expect from the title.

Instead, the film devises humor mostly from the antics of its cast. Jeff Goldblum and Ed Begley Jr. star as Jack and Gil. The two have a nice rapport, recalling classic comedy teams. Goldblum, despite his twitchy screen persona already being established by this point, is actually the straight man of the duo. Begley, meanwhile, is the goofy one who gets multiple pratfalls to himself. However, the duo makes it work. Especially during a scene where Begley interrupt Jack while on a phone call with his love interest. Or Jeff's snide one-liners while Ed attempts to sneak in and out of a lunatic asylum. The quirky energy of these two, and especially the way their individual vibes compliment each other, keeps “Transylvania 6-5000” afloat.

Instead of subverting monster movie tropes, De Luca's film largely depends on its supporting cast mugging it up to extreme degrees. A pre-”Seinfeld” Michael Richards appears as Fejos, the exceedingly eccentric bellhop. Richards' manic slapstick is often overbearing but he does get one or two laughs. John Byner and Carol Kane are the married couple hunchbacks, the two bickering in the kitchen being far funnier than you'd expect largely because both are so good at playing lisping weirdos. On the opposite end of the spectrum is Joseph Bologna as Dr. Malavaqua, whose frequent screaming and hamminess is far more irritating than amusing. Jeffrey Jones gets one or two chuckles, especially when grappling with an alligator shaped phone. Geena Davis is one of the performers most committed to mimicking monster movie antics, sporting a pretty good Lugosi accent. Though her plunging neckline admittedly draws more attention.

The production background of “Transylvania 6-5000” might be interesting than its actual content. The film was largely funded by the Dow Chemical Company, because Yugoslavian law dictated that any funds the company made in that country had to be spent within Yugoslavia. Admittedly, the genuine Eastern European locations are a big attribute of the movie. The film was a modest box office success, making seven million against a three million budget, but the reviews were brutal. The next year, another Mel Brooks collaborator would make a different classic horror spoof. “Haunted Honeymoon” got played on cable a lot more than this one, though I'm not sure it's any better. I doubt I'll feel the need to revisit “Transylvania 6-5000” anytime soon, even if it did make me chuckle a handful of times. It's a mildly amusing but ultimately extremely minor comedy. The theme song is a good addition to anyone's Halloween playlist, so it's got that much going for it. [6/10]

All the Colors of the Dark (1972)

Tutti i colori del buio

Last year, I dipped my toes into the Sergio Martino pool for the first time. When it comes to the most respected directors of Italian horror movies, Martino is usually ranked way up there, just below the Trinity of Argento, Bava, and Fulci. I had never seen any of his movies before finally watching “Torso” during the previous Halloween Blog-a-Thon. I enjoyed it, without quite being blown away by it. Martino has a whole slate of beloved gialli to choose from after that, each one with equally salacious titles. While “All the Colors of the Dark” maybe doesn't have the most obtuse title of Martino's career, it is a memorably poetic one. So much so that Tim Lucas stole it for his tome-like biography of Bava. I'll admit, that connection was the main reason pushing me to check this one out. Sometimes that's all you need when selecting what to watch during this time of year, ya know?

Following a miscarriage causing car crash, Jane's mental state is in tatters. Her sister recommends a psychiatrist and her boyfriend, Richard, believes she just needs to get over it. Neither solution is helping Jane, who is being haunted by visions of a man with piercing blue eyes. Soon, this stranger begins to pursue – and attacker – her in real life. This is when, on the recommendation of her neighbor, Jane seeks out another solution: Joining an occult coven that promises to cleanse her of her fears at the price of giving herself over to the circle. This does little to calm Jane's mind and soon she's questioning what is and isn't real... While the bodies start to pile up. 

The giallo genre is, of course, defined by stylishly directed attack scenes perhaps more than anything else. "All the Colors of the Dark" certainly has those in spades. Ivan Rassinov, wearing striking blue contact lens, makes a threatening presence from the minute he appears on-screen. When he attacks Jane in her darkened apartment, swinging a hatchet at her over the bannister of stairway, it actually got a jump out of me. A sequence in the second half, in which Rassinov attacks with a switchblade, makes use of repeating visuals and psychedelic sounds. Even if the film ends with the typically cheesy sight of an obvious mannequin falling off a building, Martino manages to orchestrate some tense stalk-and-slash scenarios. 

"All the Colors of the Dark's" willingness to get a lot weirder than your typical giallo is established from its first scene. After the titles appear over a picturesque sunset, we are assaulted with bizarre and disturbing images from Jane's nightmares. A sneering old woman and Jane's pregnant belly in an alter-like operating room, frantically edited, makes you wonder what the hell you're in for right away. This dream-like atmosphere persists throughout. Even after the threat is seemingly vanquished, we are greeted to dreamy scenes of Jane emerging from the emergency room. When paired with a very groovy score from Bruno Nicolai and stylish cinematography from Giancarlo Fernando – which, yes, is quite colorful at times – the film successfully captures a surreal feeling. 

Even by 1972, the trademarks of the giallo were well established. This was already Martino's fifth entry into the subgenre, to give you an idea of how commonplace it already was. You can see, perhaps, the director trying to spice things up here. Not just by increasing the psychedelic angle but by introducing a coven of witches into the typical murder mystery set-up. The black sabbath scenes skillfully combine the eroticism common to the giallo with a sinister energy that wouldn't be out-of-place in "Rosemary's Baby." (The likely inspiration.) These scenes sprinkled occult symbols – the long, demon-like nails on the cult leader's fingers, a Masonic like emblem of an eye inside the pyramid – that further establish this mood of Satanic decadence. Jane is slipping into a weirdo netherworld of group magik and murder, where the line between reality and dreams blur. Enough attention is paid to the occult genuines to make the audience feel a little bit of that too. 

Like every giallo, "All the Colors of the Dark" has a winding plot, full of red herrings, double crosses, and last minute plot twist. Yet, by aligning the viewer so much with a heroine possibly loosing her mind, these elements become a lot more impactful. If all the dots don't quite connect, if not everything makes perfect sense, it matches Jane seeing the world through a dream-like haze. By leaping back and forth between memories, visions, and nightmares, we are left uncertain about what is and isn't real. When paired with a heaping dose of paranoia – as Jane starts to see the cult's symbol on everyone – we are left suitably shaken up. The ending seems to ground the heroine once again, promising that the terror is over now. Yet the uncertainty over what's real and what exists only in her mind is going to be a lot harder to shake than that. 

In other words, Martino manages to shake up the giallo formula nicely here by infusing it with more existential dread, some acid-like trippiness, and a bit of the ol' Satanic Panic. After "Torso" successfully interrogated the leering misogyny of the genre, it's clear that Martino was a lot more than just your standard exploitation director. (Considering how Edwige Fenech's heroine is surrounded by manipulative, unhelpful men, a feminist reading of this film isn't impossible either.) Typically, U.S. distributors didn't quite know what to do with such a European thriller as this. They retitled it "They're Coming to Get You!" and cut it into a more traditional devil worshipper movie. Luckily, Martino's original vision circulates freely now, allowing all adventurous horror fans to seek out this stylish, peculiar, head trip of a film. [8/10]

Folklore: A Mother's Love

In 2018, Asia would essentially get its own version of “Masters of Horror” with a multicultural twist. “Folklore” aired on HBO Asia that year, becoming available on HBO Max a few years later. Each episode was directed by a notable filmmaker from across the Asian continent, the stories drawing from the unique mythologies and legends of each culture. The series debut, “A Mother's Love,” also seems to be its most acclaimed episode. It comes from Joko Anwar, the lauded Indonesian director of “Satan's Slaves” and “Impetigore.” 

The episode follows Murni, a struggling single mother, and her son, Jody. She gets a job as a cleaning lady at a mansion after being kicked out of her apartment. The first night at the new location, she uncovers a group of filthy, abandoned children in the attic. Afterwards, Murni begins to see and hear strange things, Jody especially acting unusually. It soon becomes clear that she has crossed paths with Wewe Gombel, a ghostly spirit that abducts unwanted children. 

I haven't caught up with Anwar's other films, many of which seem to be critically acclaimed. “A Moher's Love” certainly suggests Anwar has some mastery at creating a gloomy, oppressive atmosphere. The scenes of Murni – played competently b Marissa Anita, who also appeared in “Impetigore” and “Gundala” – exploring the darkened and creepy attic are effective. However, I found a lot of the attempts at scares in “A Mother's Love” rather tedious. Multiple scenes pile on the loud sound effects, usually when a group of ghostly children are about to appear on-screen. I'm usually allergic to creepy kid tropes and “A Mother's Love” doesn't distinguish itself in that regard. Nightmare sequences, where Jody disappears or Murni watches a disturbing talk show, strike me as especially ham-fisted. 

Worst yet, “A Mother's Love” has an indecisive twist that is heavily foreshadowed. Very early on, hints are placed right in the open that Murni's son is either a ghost or a hallucination. The episode builds towards this obvious twist, adding more swerves along the way. However, instead of committing to this turn we all see coming, “A Mother's Love” backtracks and introduces a double-twist before the end. It all proceeds a fairly underwhelming confrontation with the antagonistic ghost. That might've been more meaningful if the entire hour hadn't been devoted to simply trying to trick the audience. That makes it hard to take “A Mother's Love” as anything but a gimmicky narrative misdirect, with some overdone attempts at scares. By the way, the mythological Wewe Gombel has enormous, pendulous breasts that she throws over her shoulders, a detail this TV episode leaves out. [5/10]

Wake (2010)

“Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched” was really a gift to horror fans. The scope of the documentary was so wide, that even experienced genre nerds were likely to discover something they hadn't heard of before. Such as “Wake,” a twenty minute long short from filmmaker Bree Newsome. Set somewhere in the Southern United States, sometime in the post-Civil War era, the film follows Charmaine. A young woman, living under a tyrannical father, she turns to local folk magik to find a way out. She summons a demon to give her the man of her dreams, who demands her father's life in exchange. A handsome doctor soon appears in the home to be her husband. However, Charmaine's dream soon turns into a nightmare as her husband proves to be just as abusive as her father was. She goes back to the demon to try and change the terms of their agreement.

I can see why “Wake” was included in “Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched.” The short is rich in the Southern traditions and culture. The narration and dialogue capture the dialect of the time and place. The concepts of folk magik, terms like root work, add more depth and authenticity tot he story. Moreover, the story “Wake” is telling feels like a classical folk story. Not just in the way it invokes pagan rituals but also in its structure. Charmaine commits an amoral act, only to have the consequences visited on her in turn. This is exactly the kind of thing that happens when you make a deal with a demon, another traditional folkloric premise. Newsome sprinkles the film with symbols that clearly have a deeper meaning – a buzzing fly, a circle of salt, a mound of dirt – without expending too much energy on explaining these ideas. “Wake” has enough respect for the viewer to assume we can figure these things out.

Newsome's direction and Adam Newport-Berra's cinematography go a long way towards establishing the heat and sweatiness of the deep south. The interiors of the locations have a intimate, personal quality to them that make this story feel even more lived-in. “Wake” does a good job of creating a creepy atmosphere too. The exact details of the man's abuse are kept off-screen, which only makes the suggestion more unsettling. The sequences with the demon are similarly unsettling. “Wake” also clearly speaks to the kind of abuse and control women, across many generations, have endured in isolated places like this. Newsome hasn't made another film since “Wake,” which is a shame as she clearly has a lot of talent. Hopefully, she gets another chance some day. [7/10]