OSCARS 2022 LIVE BLOG!

7:45 - Welcome to Film Thoughts' 13th Annual Live Blog of the Academy Awards ceremony!

Has there ever been an Oscar season more chaotic, more fraught with stupid controversary, than this one? You had numb skulls out there arguing that movies that already made a billion dollars weren't rewarded enough by the Academy. You had Sam Elliot shooting his mouth off about "Power of the Dog." 

Of course, the most insulting of all the controversies this year are the ones the show producers themselves created. A few years back, ABC talked the Academy into cutting several categories from the live broadcast and introducing a "Best Popular Movie" award, both as desperate attempts to raise the ratings of the show. This year, they actually went through with it. Eight categories designed to celebrate the gifted artisans and craftsman that make movies possible and the short filmmakers who only get this one moment in the spotlight have been removed from the live broadcast. The award was given out before the show and edited versions will air during the broadcast. I really thought enough people in Hollywood would protest this that the people in charge would change their minds but they are really going through with it this year. 

Meanwhile, the Academy also introduced a dumb-ass Twitter poll thing that was immediately mobbed by insane fans and lunatics, meaning that Amazon "Cinderella" movie you've already forgotten about and whatever random shit Johnny Depp were in last year could win an award of some sort. Or them inviting TikTok influencers to the show or not inviting Rachel Ziegler at first. All of this bullshit.

If you're looking at this screen, you know all of this already. It's such a dishonorable, hideous series of events, so against the spirit of what the Academy Awards are meant to represent, that I seriously considered skipping watching the show altogether. But these monstrous changes were not the idea of the Academy themselves but rather of the ABC producers, who are desperate to bring up ratings for a show that only caters to a niche audience of film lovers. So technical categories are being pushed the margins to make room for a bunch of stupid bullshit. Yet I just can't quit the Oscars, so here we are. Hopefully, once this year's broadcast tanks even harder than the ones before it, ABC will just say "fuck it" and let the Oscars be 

And none of this is mentioning the fact that, across all the major categories, there's almost no clear front-runners. "The Power of the Dog" or "Belfast" were the likely Best Picture winners going into this Oscar season but now "CODA" has emerged as a possible dark horse winner. There's almost no clear choice in the Best Actress or Supporting categories. 

So I'm fully prepared for this year's broadcast to be a complete and total fiasco. Here we go, I guess.

7:54 - And apparently Hans Zimmer and "Dune" won the Best Score Oscar. I haven't seen the winners in the other seven categories yet. Sure would be nice if they just broadcast those with the rest of the awards!

7:56 - Jesus, I hate that I have to scroll through Twitter to try and see whose already won. Apparently "The Windshield Wiper," the worst of the Animated Shorts, won in that category and "Dune" is, unsurprisingly, sweeping the technical categories. Again, why am I finding out this way!!!!

8:00 - Here we go. 

8:01 - Starting with Beyonce in a desperate attempt to seem relevant. 

The tennis ball colored gowns is an... interesting choice. 

8:03 - Every attempt tonight to talk about the Magic of the Movies is going to be soured by the fact that the showrunners didn't care enough about the editors, cinematographers, and other artisans that MAKE ACTUAL FILM POSSIBLE to show them winning live. No, I'm not going to stop bitching about this all night.

8:05 - The bejeweled garter is a nice touch.

8:06 - Well, that was a better opening than an Amy Schumer monologue. 

8:07 - "Where movie lovers unite to watch TV." Alright, that's a good jab, Wanda. 

"Representing black women" as long as they aren't editors, composers, or cinematographers. 

8:09 - I saw "House of Gucci" and nobody got snubbed for that mess. 

8:10 - The Oscars: We're telling jokes about how little we actually watch movies!

8:11 - This is definitely a better use of our time than giving cinematographers their statues. 

8:12 - Sean "Diddy" Combs, definitely here for some reason!

8:14 - Didn't Amy Schumer get canceled for joke theft? 

8:15 - "I didn't see any of them." How many jokes are there going to be tonight about how the Oscars doesn't actually care about movies?

8:16 - "Don't look up reviews." Okay, that was a decent jab. 

8:17 - Aaron Sorkin totally deserves every dunk he gets. 

8:19 - Seventeen minutes into the show and we are finally getting to the first award. Yes, this was definitely a better use of our time than letting the Short Filmmakers and Cinematographers win. (Dune apparently swept.) 

8:20 - Anyway, I think DuBois is going to win but I think I'm rooting for Dunst. 

8:21 - Good performance, good for her. I'm glad this represents another instance of two different performers winning awards for playing the same character. 

8:23 - That was a nice speech. What is with the weirdly close angles on her face?

8:24 - We Didn't Nominated Bruno but we're going to perform it anyway. 

8:26 - Looks like "Dune" won Best Score, Best Editing, Production Design, and Best Sound. "Tammy Faye" got Best Make-Up, which is definitely a case of Most Make-Up winning over Best Make-Up. "Queen of Basketball" won Best Short, which is nice, even if it wasn't my pick. 

8:28 - Looks like "The Long Goodbye" won Best Live Action Short. ("Please Hold" was so much better.) Did Riz perform his rap as part of his acceptance speech? 

8:30 - I don't know who this guy is. I barely know what "Euphoria" is. This stupid skit was definitely a better use of our time than giving out awards on this award show.

8:32 - Don't give up hope, Jason. "Aquaman 2" comes out next year. 

8:34 - These speed-run versions of the cut categories are not exactly seamless. 

Yes, that beloved classic of cinema... "White Men Can't Jump???"

8:36 - I'm rooting for "West Side Story." Incredible camera work.

8:38 - I kind of figured "Dune" was going to sweep the tech categories. 

8:44 - So letting people tweet about the cut categories and then presenting Chop-Slapped versions of the acceptance speeches during the show done to accomplish anything besides drain all the suspense and excitement from long stretches of the show? Anyway, I didn't know Lusia Stewart from "Queen of Basketball" had passed away. That's a shame. 

8:45 - "CODA" was a cute little movie but I really hope it doesn't win Best Picture.

Also, is Rachel Ziegler really short or is this guy really tall?

8:46 - "Free Guy:" A movie that got nominated for an Oscar for some reason. 

8:47 - "Dune?" More like Doing a Sweep of the Tech Categories. 

8:49 - Hi, Tony Hawk! I don't know why you are here either!

8:50 - I hope the James Bond montage has a string of clips of him drinking and smacking women. 

8:51 - They left out the slide whistle from that "Man with the Golden Gun" clip, really underselling the magnificence of that moment. 

8:57 - I do like this song a lot but "Waiting for the Miracle" was my fave number from "Encanto." 

9:00 - I like these dancers. 

9:01 - So glad they are celebrating the mediocre Disney live action remakes, instead of the actual voice actresses. 

9:02 - I know "Encanto" is going to win but "Luca" is my fave of this lot. 

9:04 - Every single person in Columbia, this award is for you!

Oh yeah, this stupid thing. The "Moment That Make You Cheer" Twitter poll thing. Looks like the Snyder Bros rallied and got that painful "Justice League" recut some recognition. 

9:10 - "BoxBallet" was hilarious and adorable. "Beastia" was disturbing and powerful. And the Academy gave the award to "Phone Bad: The Motion Picture."

9:13 - A pre-taped skit/advertisement for the Academy Museum is definitely a much better use of our time than giving out awards during this award show. 

9:15 - How much longer is this sketch going to last? 

9:17 - First genuine and adorable moment of the night. 

9:18 - Honestly, Best Supporting Actor is not a great line-up this year. I'm rooting for Kotsur, I think he'll win, and he's the best of the lot this year. But I don't know if Hinds, Simmons, and Plemmons really earned their slots. 

9:20 - Though I do enjoy Kodi Smit-McPhee representing skinny, pale, weird guys in "The POwer of the Dog," speaking as a fellow skinny, pale, weird guy. 

Signing his name after opening the envelope, that was classy. 

9:23 - See, this is a Cheer Moment. If everything else is fucked-up about the Oscars this year, at least they aren't trying to cut acceptance speeches short. 

9:24 - Also, for all the talk about wanting the show to be shorter this year, the pacing has been absolutely painful.

9:29 - Damn, I love Simu Liu's suit. 

"DRIVE MY CAR" GANG ASSEMBLE! BEEP BEEP YEAH!

9:31 - Hell yes. "Drive My Car" deserved it, though "The Worst Girl in the World" was a close second, in my opinion. 

9:32 - Oops! He wasn't done yet, you guys!

9:33 - "Four Good Days" was pretty meh and, uh, I love Reba but this song is generic as can be. Better luck next year, Diane Warren. 

9:40 - It feels like they blew the dancers budget on the opening Beyonce number. The other two song performance thus far have been weirdly subdued. 

9:41 - I'm sorry, I'm never going to get over the Academy deciding a six minute advertisement for their fucking museum was more important than giving the short filmmakers their moment in the spotlight. What a goddamn travesty. Also, "Please Hold" should've won.

9:43 - I fucking love Lupito's glasses. 

I don't know if that was a genuine slip or scripted but it made me laugh. Also, Costume Design is the one category where I think "Dune" really deserves it. (Which probably means it won't win here, lol)

9:44 - Told you so! That is so like the Academy to give Best Costume Design to the movie that's literally about the fashion industry. 

9:47 - First play-off of the night! Took them a while to get to that point. I liked her speech too.

9:48 - John Leguizomo should host the Oscars. 

9:49 - Disney outright apologizing for not submitting the break-out pop hit from "Encanto" for Best Song with this. Also, has anyone noticed that the sound mixing has been all fucked-up tonight? 

9:50 - A wild rapper appears! Got to love the gull of the Academy cutting categories from the broadcast and then changing "We Don't Talk About Bruno" into a celebration of their own show. Jesus Christ...

9:55 - what the fuck is this

why are BTS here??? What even is this broadcast? 

9:57 - Wanda Sykes is not bringing her A-game tonight. These sketches are fucking murdering me. 

9:59 - LICORICE PIZZA GANG RISE UP!

10:00 - "Belfast!" Ugh, no. I spit on you, Branagh! 

So many great films nominated in this category and they gave it to the most middle-of-the-road shit possible. 

10:02 - I'm rooting for "Drive My Car" in Adapted Screenplay but, like, it's gonna be "Power of the Dog," right? 

10:03 - Also, I didn't like "Dune" that much but this is probably the one category I might've voted for it in because they managed to turn that impossible to read book into something commercial and palatable for normal people.

10:04 - "CODA" won and I really hope it's not going to sweep because... It's a cute and harmless film, please don't make me hate it. 

10:06 - I love how the Academy went out of its way to find a reason to give "Spider-Man" an award and it came in fucking fourth place because Johnny Depp, Camilla Cabella, and Zack Snyder have absolutely psychotic fanbases. 

Oh apparently, they haven't announced the winner yet but I'm still pretty sure that's what is going to happen.

10:12 - Cutting Best Original Score from the broadcast was especially egregious, when they've made such a big deal about music tonight.

Also, ignore all the dumb-ass Twitter nontroversary around "Licorice Pizza." That shit is brilliant. 

10:13 - I didn't like the "No Time to Die" theme the first time I heard it but it's really grown on me over subsequent listens. In fact, I think it's now my favorite of the nominees. 

10:16 - This feels like the first musical performance tonight that wasn't fucked-up in some way, but that's probably because Billie Ellish knows what she's doing. 

10:19 - "Our final hour." That felt like a threat. 

10:22 - Joe Walker's acceptance speech sounds delightful. Would've been nice if we could've seen it in full!

10:23 - Ya know, "The Last Duel" was actually pretty good! Better than the Ridley Scott movie that actually got nominated this year! Yet another fucking joke tonight about how people don't care about movies. This is infuriating. 

10:25 - "Breathing raw dog." Okay, that made me laugh. 

10:26 - Oh awesome, the sound just cut out on my TV. 

10:27 - Did anyone else experience the sound cutting out just now or did I briefly clip out of reality?

10:28 - Also, it has no chance of winning but "Attica" is the best of the Documentary Feature nominees tonight. 

10:29 - "Summer of Soul" winning is fine and kind of a nice surprise. But apparently, Will Smith genuinely got mad at Chris Rock and threatened him lol and that's why the sound cut out for a minute. Moment of the night!

10:30 - Anyway, Academy Award Winner ?uestlove

10:32 - Questlove seems as confused by what just happened as much as everyone else. Lol, P. Diddy is going to work it out. And you know he's a real movie lover because he's on the "Godzilla (1998)" soundtrack. 

10:34 - Here's my thoughts on montages at the Oscars: I watch this show to see people win awards and to see spontaneous moments like Will Smith swearing out Chris Rock live on television. So not only do I feel shit like this drags the pace to the halt, it adds nothing to the show.

10:35 - But, hey, nice to see Francis Ford Coppela! Can't wait for "Megaopolis!" 

10:36 - R.I.P. to Robert Evans, whose memoir inspired one of my favorite Patton Oswalt bits. 

10:39 - Oh, is it time to see who didn't make it into the In Memory montage?

10:40 - Get close enough to the screen so I can see who the fuck we're remembering, Oscar!

10:41 - Aww, that was a nice tribute to Ivan Reitman from Bill Murray. Sonny Chiba gets a shout-out!

10:42 - Did I forget that Marvin Van Pepples passed away?

10:43 - Jamie Lee Curtier and a puppy paying homage to Betty White. That's nice. His name is Mac N' Cheese! 

10:46 - Anyway, I hope Will Smith wins Best Actor now to prolong the awkwardness of this night. The magic of live television, everybody!

10:49 - So is Power of the Dog going to get completely locked out tonight? It's crazy how that went from the BP front runner to this in the span of a week. 

10:51 - Anyway, "Dune's" Production Design was excellent but that funhouse in "Nightmare Alley" was so good. It got my imaginary vote based on that. 

10:52 - So, wait, did Van Morrison not get invited? They just aren't performing the "Belfast" song tonight? 

10:53 - I was hoping he'd show up and it would be really awkward and I'd have an excuse to share this again. 

Better luck next year, Diane Warren! But Billie is winning again next year for the "Turning Red" soundtrack too...

10:56 - Welcome to the stage, the star of "Sizzle Beach U.S.A.!" What is Kevin Costner's opinion on "The Power of the Dog's" depiction of the western? 

10:57 - Okay, this rambling introduction is for Best Director. Jesus, Kevin Costner still doesn't know how to pace something...

10:59 - Is this going to be the only Oscar "Power of the Dog" wins tonight? Starting to feel that way. This has been a weird fucking night lol

11:00 - "Thank you, Kevin. That was very dramatic." Jane spitting straight fire. Just don't ask her about the Williams sisters...

11:02 - From someone on Facebook: "They had to cut all the technical awards bc Kevin Costner speaks so slowly."

"Brought to you by crypto.com" jfc

11:05 - If ABC wants the ratings to be better next year, just have Will Smith smack somebody randomly at the end of every hour.

11:06 - "The 28th anniversary of Pulp Fiction" crumbles into dust

11:07 - Alright, I'm an easy mark for "Pulp Fiction" homage, so I enjoyed that sketch.

11:09 - Okay, yes, I'm still rooting for Cumberbatch to win Best Actor.. But what if Will does win now? Wouldn't that be awesome???

11:10 - Oh shit, it's happening. 

11:11 - "A fierce defender of his family" lol

11:12 - People on Twitter are apparently genuinely mad at Will Smith tonight because nobody appreciate spontaneity anymore. 

11:13 - And now he's rambling about "disrespect." Oh man, this is awkward. 

"I just spit on TV." Okay, this is officially The Best Oscars now.

11:14 - Every single person in the theater and at home are incredibly uncomfortable. 

11:17 - The slap is all anyone is going to be talking about tomorrow, lol, but I want everyone to know that Will's win tonight was a career achievement award. "King Richard" was forgettable Oscar bait. This was a retroactive win for "Ali." 

11:20 - There's no way this evening is coming back from that but, hey, "The Eyes of Tammy Faye" won Best Make-up.

11:21 - Amy Schumer's first decent joke tonight. 

11:22 - And then immediately killed the energy of that joke... What the fuck were those random shout-outs to the Ukraine and the trans community about? The Academy is going all-in on awkwardness tonight. 

11:24 - Tony Hopkins is a better comedian than Amy Schumer. 

11:25 - I'm glad Anthony Hopkins dropped in to remind us "Hey, you thought last year's ceremony was awkward, didn't ya?"

Anyway, I'm rooting for K-Stew in Best Actress and the way this night is going, maybe she'll get it.

11:27 - And here's another "We're sorry" win tonight. Jessica Chastain is a wonderful performer but her acting in "The Eyes of Tammy Faye" was weird and off. The entire movie was tonally uneven. This is a win for "Zero Dark Thirty."  

11:29 - But at least "Being the Ricardos" didn't win...

11:30 - As America slides towards full-blown fascism these days, it's hard for me to feel too impressed when celebrities go on speeches like this.

11:32 - Lady Gaga's tux looks fucking amazing. 

11:33 - Alright, will it be a big upset? As if this night could get any stranger. 

11:34 - Yep, sure did.

11:35 - What a weird fucking night this has been.

Listen, "CODA" winning has taken it from being a pleaseant little movie that most people will remember fondly to this vastly overrated thing that will be looked back on with scorn. They fucked up.

11:37 - A middle-of-the-road indie weepy winning Best Picture is just the ideal ending to this completely chaotic night.  

11:39 - By the way, tonight's show still ran longer than last year's. So cutting eight categories from the show did absolutely fucking nothing. 

11:40 - I don't even know what to say about tonight's show. Started out extremely badly, with so many obviously bad decision, before a totally titanic moment of utter chaos derailed EVERYTHING in the second half and absolutely nothing could be done to get the night back to normal after that. The fact that the winners were all over the place and the night was full of upsets just goes in line with that. THis will forever be known as The Chaos Oscars. 

11:41 - Anyway, Happy Oscar Season! Haha!

OSCARS 2022: Final Reviews Round-Up

For the third year in a row, I'm happy to say I've seen every movie nominated for an Oscar. I was really hoping I'd be able to do full-length reviews for each of them but, as is too often the case, just ran out of time. I did manage to write about more 43 of the 53 nominated films, which is a personal record for me. (I reviewed "No Time to Die," "Raya and the Last Dragon," and "Shang-Chi" last year.) However, just to make the effort worthwhile, I've once again written capsule reviews of everything else I saw. All of this is in preparation for my Live Blog - the twelfth year I've done that! - which I'll be doing as the ceremony unfolds, which I have no doubt will be an absolute fiasco. Anyway, on with the reviews:

Cruella

Disney squeezes one of their most amusingly devious animated villains through the superhero origin story meat grinder. This includes a secret identity, a supervillain to fight, and a big dramatic reveal in the second act. The already ridiculous story gets increasingly unlikely as it goes along. The soundtrack choices and references to the cartoon are both painfully obvious. Emma Stone and Emma Thompson, along with Craig Gillepsie's energetic direction and some admittedly spiffy costumes, give it their all. But it's not enough to justify this crass studio product's existence. [5/10]

Cyrano

Joe Wright knows how to direct the hell out of an sword fight or a dance number. Which makes it odd that so much of this romance feels strangely passionless. The songs aren't bad but ultimately prove forgettable. Peter Dinklage is well cast in the titular part except for the fact that he can't sing. In fact, most of the cast is made up of non-singers and it's really distracting. Ultimately, this is a nice try to blend indie rock songs, respectful costume drama, and sweeping romance but doesn't make for a satisfying whole. [6/10]

Documentary Shorts:

Audible

Textbook definition of a short that probably should've been a feature. “Audible” shoves in so many topics and ideas into its forty minutes run time. What begins as the story of the struggles a deaf high school football team face soon grows to touch upon mental illness and teenage suicide, sexuality and relationships, and the main boy's relationship with his estranged father. While it's compellingly assembled, well directed, and especially good at putting us inside the mind of deaf youths, many of the other topics are not really explored in any meaningful way. [6/10]

Lead Me Home

Bracing depiction of the homelessness crisis in the United States. The interviews and footage of people forced into these desperate situations are absolutely heartbreaking. The brief scenes devoted to the "Not in My Backyard" crowd will make you want smack someone. Yet this still comes off as a bit shallow. (Which makes it ethically dicey, considering the subject matter.) I think focusing on just one story, instead of short slices of a whole swath of folks, would've helped this feel more substantial. This definitely needed fewer drone shots of the city streets while sad music plays and no scenes of politicians talking about how hard it is to solve this problem. [6/10]

The Queen of Basketball

Lusia Harris strikes the viewer as an utterly delightful human being. She's all smiles, laughing frequently, as she describes her achievements. She's incredibly humble, seeming more like a small town grandmother than a basketball champ and Olympian. She's doesn't linger on the question of what might have been, had she came along when women's sports were more prominent. Which allows this short to capture a place in not just sports history but women's history too. [7/10]

Three Songs for Benazir

An intimate look at life in an Afghanistan camp for people displaced by war, following a young man who wishes to join the army. What most strikes me about this short is how funny the guy is, how much he loves his wife, the joy he feels when their first child is born. Despite the absolute poverty they live in, they find a degree of happiness just by being together. This makes the ending, which jumps ahead four years, all the more effecting because it shows keenly and bluntly how war and limitations effects the lives and dreams of young people more than most. [8/10]

When We Were Bullies

A guy made a movie about a kid he bullied in elementary school obviously to absolve himself of the guilt he felt for these actions. He then changed his mind about including an interview with the guy, making this documentary feel like it doesn't have an ending, and concludes by telling this person the short was never about him anyway. I enjoy trying to unravel the mental gymnastics necessary to figure out why the fuck this filmmaker thought that was okay. If you look at the entire short as a self-aggrandizing and incredibly half-assed apology, it becomes an amusing examination of the psyche of the director. That does feature some insight into how and why bullying happens and a quirky visual style. [7/10]

The Hand of God

The first half of this is a frequently absurd comedy about extremely Italian topics such as having a huge and weird family, being horny, and loving soccer. At almost exactly the half-way point, the protagonist suffers a personal tragedy that triggers a severe tonal shift. That's pretty interesting but this still felt kind of shapeless to me. Beautiful cinematography and interesting individual scenes - like the virginity loss scene or the bear-related prank - are pretty memorable. [6/10]

House of Gucci

Ridley Scott plays this story of a rich family in-fighting like an opera, which often veers towards full-blown camp. Every effects a ridiculous Italian accent, with Jared Leto's make-up covered performance being especially over-the-top. The script is highly episodic, with far too much time devoted to squabbling over stock shares, to the point that the climatic act-of-murder almost feels like an afterthought. This leads to a tonally uncertain and overlong motion picture. [5/10]

Luca

Pixar in slice-of-life mode, it turns out, really works for me. The story here, of friendship and simple life goals, is so lovely and heartfelt. The characters, both in their designs and personalities, are adorable. Watching these three misfits grow and adventure together is so endearing. The animation is utterly gorgeous. And it's all so fantastically Italian. The narrative may be derivative in some regards but that did nothing to prevent me from enjoying it. [9/10]

The Mitchells Vs. the Machines

The expressive, multi-media animation style provides a kinetic energy that carries this one a long way, supporting a lot of manic humor and nicely cartoon-y character designs. The Mitchells are mostly a pretty lovable group, with the dinosaur-obsessed son being my favorite. This also feels like one of the few big budget studio films to understand the internet. It's way too fucking long though and some of the gags are repeated far too much. [7/10]

OSCARS 2022: The Worst Person in the World (2021)

When reviewing “Drive My Car,” I pointed out how non-English films are increasingly breaking out of the International Feature ghetto the Academy often puts them in. That film earning its place in the Best Picture and Best Director race is obviously one of the biggest surprises of 2022's Oscar season. Yet there have been some quieter victories too. “Flee” also broke unexpected ground. Finally, Norway's “The Worst Person in the World” would also score an unexpected nomination in the Best Original Screenplay category. Some have even suggested that, if Neon had campaigned a little harder for the movie, it might've done even better with Academy voters. As it stands, the quirky European film still managed to do way better than I would've expected.

“The Worst Person in the World” breaks its episodic, sometimes digressive story into twelve chapters, plus a prologue and an epilogue. Julie is a college student who indecisively changes her major. After sleeping with her professor, she begins a relationship with an underground cartoonist named Anksel. Julie pursues her own creative endeavors while falling in and out of love with Anksel. Eventually, the two break up and she begins a relationship with a man named Elvind. Yet Anksel continues to take up space in Julie's mind. As she struggles with deciding whether to have a child or not, she learns that Anksel has a terminal cancer diagnosis.

While the exact year and span of time “The Worst Person in the World” covers is never exactly detailed, the film is pretty clearly about the ever neurotic condition of the millennial. Julie is impulsive, switching her college degree every few weeks it seems. She has a similar attitude about relationships, longing for one man when she's with another and vice versa. All of this indecisiveness seems born out of a total insecurity about her future. Julie doesn't know what kind of person she wants to be and can't envision a clear future for herself because of it. This mixture of emotional, relationship, and psychological baggage seems to be cornerstones of the benighted generation I belong to. 

Julia is a stereotypical millennial in another way: She's a bit of an overgrown child. This is another reason why she leaps from job to job. Ultimately, this woman-child will be forced to grow up. When it seems like she might be pregnant, the pressure is on. When she discovers that Anksel is dying of cancer, she can no longer avoid it. Julia has to make some hard choices about her future, whether to give herself a legacy, while Anksel struggles with his sudden lack of one. This speaks to the millennial generation's collective anxiety over our own futures, as we are set adrift in a world with none of the safety nets that earlier generations were awarded. (Though Julia notably doesn't have much in the way of financial hardships.) It also makes “The Worst Person in the World” a delayed coming-of-age stories of a sort.

The film's depiction of an adrift twenty-something, with various romantic and neurotic entanglements, doesn't make “The Worst Person in the World” that different from the countless American mumblecore films made in the last decade. In form anyway. Functionally, however, Joachim Trier has a lot more fun with the subject here. The film includes a number of surreal flights of fancy. While having a conversation with Anksel, Julia imagines the world around her freezing. She goes running off to see Elvind before running back through the frozen city. Later, a magic mushroom episode produces a barrage of surreal images. Grotesque make-up and animation – Anksel's underground comic leaping to life – interact with the characters. This moments are really well assembled, keeping a story that might've gotten tedious fresh. 

“The Worst Person in the World's” novel-like structure has it leaping around in time and place frequently. One chapter isn't even about Julia, instead focusing on the relationship Elvind was in just before he met her. Yet Renate Reinsve's performance as Julia is what holds the entire movie together. Despite the title, Reinsve makes sure Julia is not a bad person. She's a good listener, insightful, and creative. She's also acts without thinking sometimes, being a fundamentally messy human being. Reinsve's performance pays homage to all of these characteristics without ever having one overtake the other, creating a complex and compelling performance.

Ultimately, “The Worst Person in the World” surprised. Its title suggests a more bitter or sarcastic film. Instead, it's actually a very sincere movie, that cares deeply about the thoughts and feelings of its characters. It has many funny or oddball moments but stand alongside a sweet and observant story about growing up in your twenties. It is, if nothing else, a lot better than many of those mumblecore flicks that I compared it to above. If more slightly weird shit like this is going to get Oscar recognition, that sure would be neat. [7/10]

OSCARS 2022: Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

Here's how I can tell that I'm getting old. If you had told kid me that superheroes would be the biggest genre in movies someday, that we'd have an entire Marvel Universe on-screen, I would've lost my mind. Even twelve years ago, I would've doubted that an idea as far out as multiverses would be embraced by mainstream flicks. Yet, here in 2022, I'm officially tired of the multiverse. It was cool when “Into the Spider-Verse” did it. Marvel's “Loki” streaming series had some interesting takes on the premise, before “What If...?” ran with it.. But then “Spider-Man: No Way Home” used the multi-verse as an excuse to fold previous “Spider-Man” movies into continuity with the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Marvel is taking the idea even further with the next “Dr. Strange” and WB/DC is going to do something similar with “The Flash.” I may be burned out on multi-verse shenanigans but nobody else clearly is. Because “No Way Home” became the biggest movie of 2021 and an immediate fan favorite.

Following the reveal of his civilian identity, Peter Parker's life has fallen into chaos. The Department of Damage Control is breathing down his neck. He's being accused of murdering Mysterio, who some people believe is a hero. When even his friends can't get into a decent college because of their association with him, Peter takes desperate action. He asks Doctor Strange to remove the knowledge of his secret identity from the world. The spell goes horribly wrong though, instead drawing five villains from across the multiverse to this version of Earth. Peter must now contend with Doc Ock, the Green Goblin, the Sandman, the Lizard, and Electro. He seeks to heal the bad guys before returning them to their home worlds, which puts him into conflict with Strange. Yet this multiverse shattering adventure brings with it some new allies too...

I enjoyed the last two of Marvel's “Spider-Man” adventures but it was apparent that something was off about their interpretation of the web head. The last movie saw Peter Parker, who is suppose to be a poor kid from Queens, become the heir to a billionaire's fortune. “No Way Home” seems to directly address this concern. A fundamental part of Spider-Man's story is that he can't balance his superhero identity with his life as Peter Parker. “No Way Home” directly address this idea. It also returns to the premise that personal responsibility, loss, and guilt over inaction, is what drives Peter as a hero. The script accomplishes this by putting a clever spin on the expected Uncle Ben origin story. Ultimately, Spider-Man works best as a blue collar character, who struggles to pay his rent and questions if he's doing the right thing. By the end, the sequel has set-up a new status quo directly built upon that idea.

The MCU “Spider-Man” films probably could've gotten this course correction without invoking the multiverse. I was extremely skeptical of bringing back a bunch of villains we'd seen before. Yet, in execution, it works a lot better than expected. First off, it's practical. Now, the Marvel Cinematic Universe is no longer obligated to put their mark on classic characters like Doctor Octopus or the Green Goblin. Secondly, it's fun. Watching great actors like Alfred Molina, Willem DaFoe, or Thomas Hayden Church interact with each other is entertaining. It even allows a chance at redemption for some of the villains, as Jamie Foxx's Electro – who was not handled the best way in “Amazing Spider-Man 2” – is reinvented into a more palatable character. The Green Goblin's ugly Power Rangers style suit is replaced with a purple hood, goggles, and Dafoe's insane grin. Not everyone gets the same amount of screen time. Rhys Ifens' the Lizard is still stuck as an ugly reptilian humanoid and gets the least development of the rogues gallery. Sandman feels like a fifth wheel sometimes. Yet I think it's a choice that ultimately works.

It helps that “No Way Home” doesn't bring these guys back just for fan service. Ultimately, “No Way Home” returning to the past highlights how superhero movies have changed in the last decade. It's soon discovered that more than half of the villains were plucked from their universes seconds before dying. Tom Holland's Peter Parker doesn't think it's right to doom these people, no matter how villainous they are, to death. He seeks to help them, cure them of their afflictions. Superhero movies used to be content to kill off their bad guys but now the needs of cinematic universes means villains get to grow and evolve. Most of Spider-Man's rogue gallery, at least in the movies, are victims of circumstances. Giving them second chances allows them more depth as characters, allowing Molina's Doc Ock to redeem himself or Dafoe's Norman Osborne to struggle with his mental health more. And turning J. Jonah Jameson into Alex Jones might not make sense but I do enjoy seeing J. K. Simmons rip it up some more. 

What is, arguably, an extended act of fan service is bringing back previous versions of Peter Parker as well. The worst guarded secret in Hollywood last year, Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield appear about a third of the way into the film. On one hand, it's nice to see Tobey Maguire, the elder statesmen of Spider-Men, again. Garfield's Spidey is treated as the lovable loser of the lot, acknowledging how unloved his “Spider-Man” franchise was. Garfield also gets a chance to provide his aborted story line with something of a conclusion. More than anything else, it's fun to watch the three actors bounce off each other. Holland, Garfield, and Maguire all have a way with wry dialogue. They all have radically different takes on the character that play off each other nicely. Yet I do wonder how necessary this fan pleasing decision was. When the in-jokes about webbing, subtitles, or internet memes start to fly, “No Way Home” begins to feel self-congratulatory. 

There's lots of things you can complain about when it comes to Marvel's juggernaut-like grip on pop culture. Some people shit on the movies for their dialogue, which often pack in as many snarky one-liners as possible. And, sure, Doctor Strange quipping about how Peter and his friends need to “Scooby-Doo this shit” might be distracting... But it's ultimately the interaction between these characters that keep me coming back to these movies. Tom Holland's Peter Parker is an adorable dork. He has fantastic chemistry with Zendaya's sardonic but sweet M.J. Seeing those two flirt and support each other is so charming. Jason Batalon's Ned and Jon Favreau's Happy Hogan are also consistently amusing. And, sure, not all the dialogue is natural but Benedict Cumberbatch sure knows his way around a sarcastic one-liner. The warm humor of these “Spider-Man” movies, when combined with the great cast, is why I really like them.

Film Twitter is also constantly bitching about Marvel's overreliance on CGI and green screen effects. Yes, this is also extremely distracting at times. Many of the bemoaned shots look quite bad. The decision to replace Sandman with a CGI pile of sand for most of the movie, presumably so Thomas Hayden Church didn't actually have to be on-screen, was misguided. The fight on the bridge between Peter and Doc Ock feels like an overwhelming mess of computer graphics at times. What makes these moments especially frustrating is that some of the visual effects in “No Way Home” are extremely good. The fight between Spider-Man and Doctor Strange in the Mirror Universe is fantastically surreal, images doubling over on themselves in exciting ways. The final fight between the trio of Spider-Men and the villains makes sure to include several iconic poses. This is almost less of an issue with the movie and more of a problem with how Disney treats their effects houses.

Some of my concerns about the multiverse approach to “Spider-Man” making the leap to live action are still represented in “No Way Home.” A part of me wonders why every Spider-Man movie must be a universe-spanning event now. Ya know, a part of me just wants to see him fight Kraven. Or team-up with Black Cat against Hammerhead. Or some shit like that.  Yet “No Way Home” works better than I expected. The winning cast goes a long way. It mostly manages to balance its collection of villains and heroes. There's enough heart inside this massive spinning machine to keep it from feeling like a totally soulless corporate product. I can still enjoy “Spider-Man: No Way Home,” even if I'm beginning to have misgivings about the MCU's effect on the film industry overall. [7/10]

OSCARS 2022: Lunana: A Yak in the Classroom (2019)

The purpose of the Best International Feature category at the Oscars is to highlight cinema made outside of America. This is presumably why the category name was changed from Best Foreign Language Film last year, to purposely acknowledge that movies are a global language. Despite that, the category is always full of controversy and oversights. I feel like there’s a lot of frustrating aspects to the rules governing the category. Nevertheless, sometimes it works exactly the way it’s supposed to. The nomination of “Lunana: A Yak in the Classroom” marks the first time a film from Bhutan has been recognized at the Oscars. This presumably brought Bhutanese cinema, and therefore Bhutanese culture, to a much wider audience than ever before. At least among people who pay attention to the Academy Awards. 

The film follows Ugyen, a struggling teacher working for a Bhutanese government program to educate every child in the country. Ugyen is disenfranchised with teaching and wants to move to Australia to pursue his dream of becoming a musician. This is when he’s reassigned to a classroom in Lunana, one of the most remote villages in the entire country. He’s initially reluctant to stay in the community, which is hundreds of meters above sea level and considerably lacking in resources. However, he soon grows attached to his students and the people he meets there. As a severe winter quickly approaches, Ugyen has to reconsider his decision to leave the country, and his life as a teacher, behind. 

Despite its exotic setting, and the secluded culture it displays, “Lunana” follows some well-trod narrative tropes. This is the story of a city slicker learning to love life out in the sticks. Ugyen quickly learns how unprepared for Lunana he is, when the fancy sneakers he wears are ruined during the arduous hike up to the village. There’s limited electricity in Lunana and no cell phone reception. The classroom doesn’t even have a blackboard at first. This is a poor community of farmers and yak ranchers, who are committed to their traditionalist lifestyles. While skeptical of the local culture and spiritual beliefs at first, Ugyen soon grows to appreciate this way of life. Like a hundred fictional characters before him, he is an urbanite who falls in love with a rural world. He even grows attached to yaks and discovers all the various applications of their dung. 

This is not the only commonly seen story type on display here. At first, Ugyen has no attachment to his class. He’s so put off by life in the extremely rural Lunana that he makes plans to leave as soon as possible. You can tell he considers the locals kind of backwards too. Of course, it’s only a matter of time before he develops a connection with these kids. Class representative Pem Zam especially becomes important to him. Another cliché of this type of story is clear in Pem Zam’s troubled home life, though the film doesn’t linger on that too much. Basically, from the moment Ugyen says he doesn’t want to be a teacher anymore, it’s obvious that his experience in Lunana will reignite his passion for the profession. “A Yak in the Classroom” hits most of the expected beats, right down to Ugyen’s growing fondness for the school’s hairy mascot that’s given title billing. 

As cliched as the film might be, that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy “Lunana.” The film has an extremely quiet, laidback feel to it that is charming. Just as Ugyen slowly warms up to life in Lunana, the audience is drawn into the unique world these characters reside in. The film turns away from melodrama or theatrics, instead doing everything it can to impose pleasantness on the viewing. The spiritual beliefs of the community are highlighted via a flirtatious friendship with a young woman that Ugyen forms. The importance of yaks, to both the way of life and folkloric beliefs, are repeatedly referenced. It’s all really interesting and quietly compelling, giving you a peek at an obscure corner of the world that you probably didn’t know anything about before hand. You come away from the film with the general impression that Lunana is a challenging but really nice place to live. It doesn’t hurt that the village and its surrounding mountain tops are gorgeous, highlighted by some lovely cinematography. 

Obviously, the filmmakers actually traveled all the way up the mountain to film in Lunana. It’s unsurprising to read that many of the locals played themselves in the film, that the classroom set is the town’s actual schoolhouse. That means “Lunana: A Yak in the Classroom” is a glorified travelogue. Some have even questioned the movie’s purpose. The film has been refer to as propaganda from the Bhutanese government, made to encourage young people to stay in the country. Once you read that, it’s impossible not to notice the way the film does subtly promote that message. Yet “instead of leaving Bhutan, move out to the country and start a family” is a pretty mellow objective, as far as propaganda goes. “Lunana: A Yak in the Classroom” is a sweet, quiet motion picture that puts a spotlight on a secluded community, which gives it a lot of value it otherwise probably wouldn’t have had. [7/10]

OSCARS 2022: The 2022 Oscar Nominated Live-Action Short Films

The Dress (2020)

The first of this year's live action shorts comes to us from Poland and sets the typically depressing mood for the evening. It follows Julka, a woman working as a maid at a motel. She has little self-confidence, believing herself to be unlovable due to her dwarfism. She's never had a boyfriend either and harbors a crush on Bogdan, a truck driver that often passes by the motel. With the encouragement of a friendly co-worker, Julka gets a sexy dress made for her that fits her body. She has a charming evening with Bogdan but it ends horribly, all the woman's fears and anxieties about men seemingly being confirmed.

In the decade or so I've been making an effort to see the Oscar nominated live action short films, a trend has emerged. Most of the nominated shorts are dour foreign language films about war, suffering, death, or some other depressing topic. “The Dress,” I'm sad to say, fits this stereotype to a tee. It has a fairly promising, if low-key, start. Anna Dzeidduszycka is compelling as Julka. There's a lived-in, realistic quality to the conversations she shares with the other characters in the film. Whether or not the movie is a sensitive portrayal of living with dwarfism is up to debate. The character is still defined by the shape of her body and it informs her entire personality. This includes a sequence where she sobs about wishing she was a “normal woman.” I suspect actual short people would prefer not to be depicted this way but “The Dress” is still fairly even-handed up to that point.

This is before the climax of the film, where Julka's date with Bogdan goes hideously wrong. You can probably guess what happens. This is when “The Dress” begins to feel like what so many of these shorts: A slog of unending misery, that piles more horrible events onto its protagonist for no specific reason. Before a guy treats her like trash, Julka's life is already really sad. Was it necessary to make it worst? The cinematography is pretty but “The Dress” mostly just made me wonder why it had to be so needlessly mean-spirited. I think the point the film wants to make – about the challenges of being different – could've been conveyed without pissing me off so badly. [5/10]

Ala Kachuu – Take and Run (2020)

The second depressing topic of the night is, at the very least, one that deserves to be better publicized in the western world. That would be ala kachuu, the tradition of kidnapping a young woman and forcing her into marriage that still happens in some rural regions of Kyrgyzstan. The short follows Sezim, a 19 year old girl who breaks with her traditionalist family. She's gotten a job in a bakery, taken a college entrance exam, and is learning to drive. That is until she's captured one day, shoved into the back of a van, taken to a isolated village, and forced to marry a man she's never met before. Trapped in this horrible situation, she makes every attempt she can to rebel and escape, despite pressure from all the older women in the village to stay and make the best of it.

I had never heard of the practice of ala kachuu before this short, as I'm afraid Krygyz culture is not something I'm especially well read in. It sounds like an edgy joke from a “Borat” movie, a backwards tradition that would've been outlawed decades ago. In fact, bride kidnapping is illegal in Krygyzstan but this has apparently done little to stop the practice. While debate rages over how common it is exactly, with some sources saying the tradition is simply a form of consensual elopement, ala kachuu does seem to be a reality in many portions of the country. So if the practice of films like this is to raise awareness of real world horrors, “Ala Kachuu” accomplishes that. 

Approached as an actual movie, instead of a piece of narrative journalism, “Ala Kachuu – Take and Run” is, at least, a persuasive watch. Sezim is a character you can root for immediately, as she bristles against regressive politics from the beginning. Her willingness to stand up for herself makes her likable. That she's surrounded by older women who insists running away would bring shame on the family, or that she should just accept her lot in life as a woman, makes you want to see her successfully escape. This makes “Ala Kachuu” feel like more than just a parade of misery, so that certainly elevates it above some of the other short films I've watched over my years as an Oscar watcher. [7/10]

The Long Goodbye (2020)

The shortest of all the nominated films this year – running only twelve minutes – is also the only nominated short this year with a recognizable star behind it. “The Long Goodbye” stars Riz Ahmed, seemingly as a loosely fictionalized version of himself. It begins as another normal day for a family of Islamic people living in the U.K. Riz plays with a small cousin of his, his friend flirts with a girl, the dad tries to watch TV, and his sisters do their hair upstairs. It's as normal a situation as you can imagine. That all changes when a group of white men, wielding guns, arrive and begin to round up every brown person in the neighborhood. This state-sanctioned act of racial violence escalates to predictably grim results. 

"The Long Goodbye" is no less grim than your usual Oscar-nominated live action short. At least the film has a fairly salient point. We live in a time when acts like this, far-right skinheads deciding to systematically perform acts of racial violence in our cities while the cops look the other way, seem all too probable. “The Long Goodbye” does a good job of establishing a sense of normalcy, of regular daily life, before the all-too-possible violence breaks out. That certainly makes it a bracing watch in the second half. The shaky-cam visuals director Aneil Karia employs are maybe a bit distracting but it does add a documentary-like immediacy to the what is depicted here.

The only thing about “The Long Goodbye” that gives me pause is its extended epilogue. After the story more-or-less ends, Ahmed begins to perform a spoken-word rap about his racial identity and his frustration with the prejudice he's encountered in his life. And Ahmed is a very talented actor and even displays a pretty good sense of flow here. It's just an odd creative choice, to have a well executed and fairly serious-minded short like this conclude with the actor showing off his rapping skills like that. I don't mind seeing Ahmed perform but “The Long Goodbye” would have been just as powerful and effective if it had ended right before this puzzling sequence. [7/10]

On My Mind (2021)

There's usually one excessively sentimental and weepy short among the nominees each year and here's 2022's edition. “On My Mind” begins with a disheveled man entering a karaoke bar. He orders a drink and asks if the machine has the song “You Were Always On My Mind” on it. He attempts to sing while the bartender records the performance on his phone. This is interrupted several times, much to the annoyance of the accountant working in the bar. Soon, we learn why the man is so determined to sing this song and make this recording today. His wife is about to be taken off life support and he wants him singing to be the last thing she hears before she dies.

“On My Mind” works best when you're wondering where it's going. Obviously, the man in the bar is facing some challenges in his life. You don't know exactly why singing this song is so important to him but clearly it is. You feel bad for the guy as his attempts to record himself singing are repeatedly interrupted. When he finally, tearfully explains what is going on, it makes everything that happened before much more meaningful. The final scene is the short at its most heart-tugging and it brings around the idea of the breath left on a glass representing the human soul. 

The problem with “On My Mind” is it stops making sense if you think about it for more than a minute. Why doesn't he just sing the song to his wife as she's unplugged? Why must he make a recording of himself at a karaoke bar? Isn't it odd that he's spending the precious remaining hours of his beloved's life in a bar? This exposes “On My Mind's” role as glurge, sentimental goop that is meant to make you cry and not meant to be examined too closely. On that surface level, “On My Mind” works fairly well but stuff like this probably doesn't deserve the Academy's attention. [6/10]

Please Hold (2020)

“Please Hold” is set in what seems to be the near future. It follows a young man named Mateo. On his way to his minimum wage job, he's accosted by a police drone and informed that he's been arrested. When he asks why, he's threatened with a tasing. Carted off to an automated, for-profit prison, he's left in a cell with a touch screen monitor. The computerized menu he's presented with does nothing to answer his questions, only asking him if he's pleading guilty or not. He attempts to contact the police but, because phone calls are three dollars a minute, his bank account is depleted while he's on hold. The cheapest lawyer is 10,000 dollars. He does low-paying prison labor to build up enough money to call his mom to get a loan. After 90 days, he's forced to plead guilty or not, despite never being told what crime he's being charged with. In fact, he talks to very few people during his time in prison.

“Please Hold” is the most depressing of this year's nominated shorts but also the funniest, the most insightful, and the most entertaining. It presents what feels like an all-too probable vision of our future. The film takes the idea of being stuck on hold with an obnoxious automated system, trying to get a question answered, and extends it to its dystopian extreme. The menu that gives Mateo the grim information that he could go to prison for forty years, if he's found guilty, is presented by a patronizing, cutesy cartoon mascot. The prison labor program he works with is presented like a wholesome start-up business. Every time he is served lunch, his bank account dips a little lower. He almost ends up pleading guilty, because the robots are threatening him and not a single human soul is present to relate to him on a normal level. 

It's obvious from the beginning that Mateo is not guilty of any crime, that he's been mistaken for another person. Which raises issues of police racism, since the implication is that the increasingly automated police system can't tell the difference between different brown people. By the time this is acknowledged and he's released from prison, he's unemployed and homeless. (All of these messages are delivered via automation.) If all of this sounds incredibly bleak, that's because it is. But “Please Hold” is also fresh, funny, and energetically paced. There's enough pep in how the story is told, enough humor in Mateo's frustration with this situation, to keeps things light-hearted. Even while the film is making a fatalistic, and all too likely, statement about the near future of our increasingly corporate, machine-run world. [8/10]