Christmas 2020: Hanukkah (2019)

In 2009, director Eben McGarr released indie shocker “Sick Girl.” Despite its obvious flaws, I was a fan of the serial killer character study. In 2009, McGarr directed “House of the Wolfman,” a homage to classic Universal Monster movies that definitely had its heart in the right place. Not too long after that, McGarr started to hype his next project: A slasher movie called “Hanukkah.” I think Jewish horror fans have long awaited a horror film centered around our own winter festival. Some hilarious poster mock-ups, inspired by classic slasher flicks, were soon released. After that, there was no news about the project for over a decade. For a long time, I assumed McGarr's “Hanukkah” simply wasn't going to get made. Finally, a few years back, filming started. “Hanukkah” had a limited theatrical run before arriving on VOD back in February. Now, as 2020's Festival of Lights begins, I decided to sit down and watch the long-in-development feature.

Thirty two years ago, Judah Lazarus – dubbed the “HanuKiller” by the press – murdered a dozen people. A fanatical Orthodox Jew, Judah was driven by voices from God to murder what he deemed to be “bad” Jews. Cops shot him down just as he was about to sacrifice his son, Obediah. Three decades later, Obediah has grown into a man determined to carry on his father's work. A group of Jewish twenty-somethings gather as Hanukkah starts to throw a party. After they get stranded at a friend's house, Obediah arrives to punish all he deems as violating the rules of the Torah. 

As previously established, I like the cut of Eben McGarr's jib. The guy is obviously a real horror fan. You can see that in “Hanukkah.” The movie loads its cast with familiar faces. A frail looking Sid Haig plays Judah in the opening. P.J. Soles has an amusing role as the mother of a character, getting to quote two of her iconic “Halloween” lines. This is far from the only explicit shout-out to Carpenter's classic. Genre regulars like Dick Miller and Caroline Williams also have small roles, while Kane Hodder and Felissa Rose had behind-the-scenes roles. Veteran “Friday the 13th” composer Henry Manfredini provides the score. In its best moments, “Hanukkah” captures a classic slasher atmosphere by lighting its scenes in intense reds and blues.

However, for far too much of its run time, not a whole lot happens in “Hanukkah.” McGarr feels the need to stretch his story out for as many of the eight nights as possible. This means there's a Shabbat in there where Obediah has to rest. Meaning he must refrain from killing. So the film's gang of slightly obnoxious characters have to hang out in one location for several days. With no other options, McGarr has to pad the movie out with increasingly tedious relationship drama. Characters cheat or attempt to cheat on one another, arguing about their various entanglements or other petty bullshit. None of it is all that involving and the movie frequently feels like it's just killing time until the next murder scene.

At least, that's what I would assume but most of “Hanukkah's” murder scenes happen off-screen. A foul mouthed Santa Claus is slashed while several members of the far-too-large cast are vanquished in-between scenes. When “Hanukkah” does provide gore, it's similar to the graphic torture scenes McGarr utilized in “Sick Girl.” A graphic skinning is not so much the kind of cheap thrills I had hoped for from a Hanukkah-themed horror flick. (Though the movie piles on the sex and nudity.) The movie is at its best when utilizing its Jewish roots. Such as when Obediah makes a kippah from a victim's scalp or uses a dreidel to decide someone's fate.  

Ultimately, “Hanukkah” can't help but feel half-formed. The movie's climax is an ethical debate about the tenets of Jewish faith between Obediah and the film's other most prominently Jewish character. What follows is an incredible sloppy resolution, that does little beside raises more questions. “Hanukkah's' end credits then promises a sequel, “Day of Judgment,” which would presumably resolve the plot points raised in those final minutes. Once again, I have to applaud McGarr for having his heart in the right place. “Hanukkah” is a great idea for a horror movie. It turns out, the traditional rabbinical outfit – fedora, tallit, payot curls, black overcoat – makes for a cool slasher villain look. Yet the actual “Hanukkah” falls short of that potential. Let's light a candle and prayer someone takes another try at this irrepressibly trashy premise some day. [5/10]