Zack Clopton's 2021 Film Retrospective

 “What is grief if not...

ZACK CLOPTON'S 2021 FILM RETROSPECTIVE

persevering?”

First and foremost: Congratulations. If you're reading this, that means you made it through another year. 2021 was full of challenges and difficulties. At this point, I don't think anyone can be commended for anything more than survival. So let's raise a glass to that, before we do anything else.

Secondly, if you're here in my extremely humble little corner of the internet, it means you are probably trying to take your mind off the incredible bullshit of the world by reading about movies. And, boy, 2021 sure was a year full of them. In fact, in an incredible display of nerdiness and what is either an incredible management or misuse of my free time, I managed to watch more new releases in the past year than in any other before. Yes, I watched 139 new movies in the last twelve months! I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed of that number. 

I wish that huge number meant I had a well rounded view of the cinematic year that was. Instead, it just means I watched a bunch of low-budget horror movies. In the age of peak streaming, there's more content out there than either and, I guess, my eyes tend to stick to what interests me the most. I'll make an effort to watch more documentaries and foreign dramas in 2022. I don't know how many people are actually going to read through all this but here it is anyway: Capsule reviews of every single new release I saw this year, ranked from what I loved the most to what I disliked the most. I present to you: THE LIST.

FOUR STARS:

1. Titane

A movie that defies all expectations, that consistently surprises you by mixing extreme violence and sexual deviancy with sentimentality and raw emotion. A story equally about transformation, the viscerally physical and the psychologically twisted, from characters striving to be something else. Ducournau's direction is extremely fierce. The violence and skin-crawling body horror in this movie *hurts.* Yet its final images are of acceptance and compassion. Both Vincent Lindon and Agathe Rousselle are heart-rendingly sincere. It is the most unpredictable, most satisfyingly baffling, motion picture experience I've had all year.

2. The Green Knight

By going back to the roots of the archetype – showing a boy becoming a man by learning chivalry, challenging temptation, forging his own path, and confronting death – David Lowery reinvents, and eventually subverts, the Hero's Journey. The film understands the other-worldliness of old English legends and the mythic quality of the deep, dark woods. It's also gorgeous to look at, brilliantly using color. With an ending that will spurn debate for years to come, this is 2021's most beguiling motion picture.

3. Luca

Pixar in slice-of-life mode, it turns out, really works for me. The story here, of friendship and simple life goals, is so lovely and heartfelt. The characters, both in their designs and personalities, are adorable. Watching these three misfits grow and adventure together is so endearing. The animation is utterly gorgeous. And it's all so fantastically Italian. The narrative may be derivative in some regards but that did nothing to prevent me from enjoying it.

4. Riders of Justice

Brilliant deconstruction of the revenge movie that grapples directly with weighty ideas like grief and fate, while also being consistently hilarious. The collection of misfits around Mads Mikkelsen – such a deadpan straight man, that he's like a clockwork soldier killing machine during the (very good) action scenes – produce a number of bizarre sight gags and digressive dialogue exchanges. Yet the film still takes these characters and their feelings very seriously, resulting in a surprisingly touching conclusion. 

5. Evangelion 3.0+1.01 Thrice Upon a Time

Simultaneously the final entry in a massive, global franchise and also a deeply personal statement about rising out of depression, forgiveness, connection with others, and literally saying goodbye to this very series. The extremely quiet, character-driven first hour was fantastic. The final act couldn't hope to top “End of Evangelion” as a descend into Freudian surrealism but it's still pretty great. As always with this series, there's a lot of stuff I didn't understand and the lore gets a bit impossible at times. Yet this is still a miraculous achievement in animation and sci-fi storytelling. 

6. Swan Song

Maybe the most delightful motion picture of the year. Udo Kier is effortlessly charming as an old queen regaining his sparkle. As often as this is a hilarious fish-out-of-time comedy, it's also a deeply bittersweet and quietly touching reflection on an earlier generation of gay men and the impact they had. It's impressive how really funny, personable moments are followed up with genuine tear-jerking ones. 

7. Bo Burnham: Inside

Yeah, I can see why everyone talked about this for a week. Burnham rolls up all the anxieties of the pandemic era, of watching the world end in slow motion, and sums it up in ninety minutes of jokes and songs. It's hilarious and inventive, such as the distressingly accurate song about sexting or a problematic past being re-framed as a workout montage. It's sociopolitically insightful in an almost painful way, when a children's song becomes an anti-capitalistic rant or modern online life being perfectly summed up in “Welcome to the Internet.” It's also incredibly poignant, during the cathartic conclusion or the disconnect of modern life being encapsulated as “That Funny Feeling.” Having depression has never been so entertaining! That song about white women Instagram kind of blew though...

8. Violation

The writing and dialogue does an excellent job of establishing who the characters are, in a naturalistic sort of way, before the shit hits the fan. The nonlinear storytelling does a good job at leaving the viewer as disorientated as Miriam. The gore is graphic and up-front, while the sexual assault is no less disturbing for its lack of explicitness. Madeleine Sims-Fewer gives an excellent performance, that allows Miriam to be as conflicted as possible. An utterly griping film full of ambiguities and complexities. 

9. Benedetta

Perhaps the most interesting aspect of “Benedetta” is how the title character considers erotic love and religious awe as one and the same, which brings with it a beguiling degree of ambiguity. Encouraging of personal faith but contemptuous of the church, with sympathy to the women caught in these systems. This is still a rip-roaring Paul Verhoeven movie too, set in a filthy middle ages, full of outrageous visions and violence and genuinely erotic lesbian sex scenes. A perverted masterpiece. 

10. No Man of God

Probably the best film about Ted Bundy, because it dares to consider his humanity, the compulsions that drove him to kill, without forgetting that he was a disgusting murderer too. This is mostly shown through the intimate relationship he has with Bill Hagmaier, who is closer to Bundy than he'd like to admit. Luke Kirby so uncannily captures Bundy's mannerism, while Elijah Woods is his perfectly vulnerable opposite. The film brilliantly takes us inside his mind, as he grapples with understanding this brutal killer. 

THREE AND A HALF STARS:

11. The Beta List

Frantically paced and edited to give the impression of a panic attack, that draws you in the longer you watch. Writer/director/actor Jim Cummings only gives one kind of performance but it's perfect here: A nervous wreck of a man desperately trying to hold his incredibly shallow persona together and always incriminating himself more as he does. This film is about a hundred things – paranoia, social media, Hollywood power dynamics – but it's most about incredibly fragile masculinity that is terrified of loosing control. This is why, incredibly intense sequences of highly gendered violence are inserted throughout. I don't know if this catches all the balls it throws up in the air. I just know I loved it.

12. Jumbo

A sometimes funny, sometimes sweet, frequently surreal, but utterly sincere approach to the topic of object sexuality. Ultimately, it's the story of a young woman – played brilliantly by Noemie Merlant – struggling against a mother who doesn't understand her alternative lifestyle. The sense of awe director Zoe Wittock brings to the private moments with the Tilt-a-Whirl impact the significance of this relationship. It's a teenage love story, overwrought in its emotion, but the peculiarity of the subject, and the utmost commitment to the film makes to it, more than justifies that.

13. The Matrix Resurrections

A gloriously meta attack on nostalgia, franchise engineering, and the unexpected effect the “Matrix” had on the pop culture sphere. The “Matrix” universe is expanded in new and exciting ways, this series continuing to blend far-out ideas with crowd pleasing action. And, yeah, the fight choreography isn't as good, I really miss Lawrence Fishburne and Hugo Weaving, and most of the new characters aren't that interesting. (Though Neil Patrick Harris makes an inspired villain.). But the way this embraces Neo and Trinity's love story provides a sickly sweet heart to another hugely ambitious narrative. 

14. C'mon C'mon

A movie that feels like a hug. Even the black and white cinematography is more warm than moody. The kid at the center of the story is absolutely adorable and watching a very neurotic Joaquin Phoenix attempt to understand him is incredibly charming. It's a quiet, deeply empathetic film all about doing our best to communicate and to make sure the next generation of children are better off than we were. 

15. Cryptozoo

Visually inspired by medieval bestiaries and underground comics, this independent animated film is unlike anything else I've seen this year. Darkly humorous, brutally violently, genuinely upsetting, and sexually explicit, it grapples with complicated questions about the ethics of zoos, humanity's responsibility to the natural world, and the cost of dreams. It's also surprisingly action-packed with a story that grows in scope as it goes along. An incredibly specific creative vision.

16. Psycho Goreman

I've long wanted to see a show or movie about a Saturday morning cartoon supervillain trapped in a totally mundane job. This gets pretty damn close to that, with the added bonus of squishy monsters and wonderfully wet gore effects. The titular entity makes a fantastic straight man to the mildly sociopathic – though frequently hilarious – pre-teen girl protagonist. The energy flags a little in the last act, the subplot around the parents isn't very compelling, but the various running gags and the balance between the absurd and the sincere all pay off fantastically. 

17. Censor

Finds clever parallels between the way censors police media and the ideology, of wanting a reality free of things that upset them, that enforces. Yet this is ultimately a far more personal story. Niamh Algar's performance brilliantly draws you into Enid's personal hell. How she's tightly wound up until the point she isn't, a powerful breakdown that is the film's proper climax. The visual aesthetic isn't just a neat gimmick but a good way to show the character's mental space, how she's loosing the ability to tell the difference between reality and fiction.

18. Malignant

I enjoyed the first act, as Wan has fun with the Argento-like camera movements and colors, the detective's quirky attributes, and the foggy atmosphere. After the stylish Silvercup scene, it settled into a predictable groove for me. Once our heroine gets locked in the pokey with a bunch of anachronistic tough ladies, I was thinking "Okay, this is funny." Then the reveal kicks in and I'm like, "Alright, that's cool!" And then everything goes completely bat-shit and I was thoroughly won over. Been a while since I cackled with that much glee at a horror movie.

19. The Pizzagate Massacre

Ignore that trashy title and dive into what is a frequently funny, often deeply uncomfortable, and completely unpredictable piss-take on far right conspiracy theories. The film presents the horrible beliefs of its character's just straight enough that it makes the inevitable acts of buffonery all the more hilarious. Duncan is painfully alone and broken and awful and brought to life brilliantly by Tinus Seaux. The violence escalates in sickening ways, making you more uncomfortable for the next inevitable shoot-out. Add in an ending just screwy enough to leave you with some questions and you have one of the most unexpected surprises of the year.

20. Coming Home in the Dark

From the moment the film's sardonic and soft-spoken villains walk on-screen, a grim tension overtakes this one. The most shocking act of violence occurs in the opening minutes, letting you know that this is only going to get uglier. Impressively, the filmmakers manage to keep that white-knuckle suspense going throughout the entire run time, even as the story bends in some unlikely directions to keep it going. It helps that the cast is so capable, with Daniel Gillies being terrifying as the main killer. Elements of moral ambiguity, and how cruelty begets cruelty, are introduced halfway through. They weren't necessary – the movie probably would've been just as scary without it – but it does add a few more layers here.

21. French Exit

Michelle Pfeiffer is absolutely brilliant as a depressed, supremely bitchy socialite who has run out of cash. The script moves in surprisingly surreal directions, that eventually involve seances and talking cats. (Who behave exactly as you'd expect a cat too.) The dialogue is always pointed and frequently hilarious. And like all of Azazel Jacobs' films, it's ultimately about flawed people trying to do their best. 

22. A Glitch in the Matrix

Another excursion into a weird subculture from Rodney Ascher. Some of the ideas here are fascinating or disturbing. Like an interviewee's unfortunate night in Mexico or the idea that people don't exist when we're not looking at them. Some of it is boring, like the guy who endlessly compares life to a video game. What is intriguing is that Philip K. Dick comes off as a total loon or that the “Matrix” murderer never brings up simulation theory. That one of the more personable interview subjects fully admits simulation theory is probably bullshit. Like all of Ascher's films, it says more about the people who believe these things than the concepts themselves. Wrapping the entire thing up in trippy CGI visuals is the icing on the cake. 

23. Encanto

A quirkier Disney animated feature that often breaks from the expected tradition, focusing more on the trials and tribulations of being a part of a neurotic family than fairy tale grandeur. I found myself relating a lot to Mirabel, the perpetual outsider trying to hold everyone together. The characters are more than just their superpowers and the magic house is part of the ensemble too. The visuals are imaginative, there's a nice pop sensibility to the songs, a music video style to the song-and-dance numbers, and at least one really emotional flashback.

24. Saint Maud

Maud is searching for meaning in her life, hoping to be born again via a new persona. She is pulled between the lowly, lusty concerns of the flesh and what she feels is her higher calling. Like all of us, she is grappling with failure and sexuality and all the other difficulties of the world. Morfydd Clark is completely committed, body and soul, in bringing this complex character to life. The finale bends towards full-blown demonic horror. Pretty damn good, a creepy ride into one person's personal version of Heaven and Hell.

25. Come True

Great example of a film that subsist almost entirely on its intoxicating atmosphere. The visuals are frequently fascinating and creepy, creating a spooky ambiance. The synth score is gorgeous and pairs well with the lo-fi aesthetic. (Which actually has a reason for being in the film.)  An amazing sequence is enough to justify the otherwise underwritten love story. I can already tell that Julia Sarah Stone is going to be a new celebrity crush of mine. The pacing is slow, story never really comes together, and there's an absurd twist ending. But it's all worth it for the vibes, man.

26. The Suicide Squad

Hearkens back to James Gunn's Troma roots, with over-the-top but ugly violence, crude but absurd humor, and fuzzy social satire. Like “Guardians of the Galaxy,” this is also the story of amoral outsiders coming together to form a makeshift family. Gunn's love of weirdos has now emerged as the defining characteristic of his career, linking these bickerers via parental issues. It's hard to build a smooth narrative around so many different characters – and Bloodsport and Peacemaker suffer because of that – but plum roles from goofy DC icons like King Shark, Starro, Ratcatcher, and Polka Dot Man redeem those issues.

27. Spider-Man: No Way Home

A much needed course correction for Marvel's Spider-Man movies. I was skeptical at first but bringing back past villains is a good way to get those characters into the MCU and to allow previous actors/incarnation to get some closure or at least ham it up one more time. Watching the different Peters bounce off each other is a lot fun, as is the very comic-book-y confrontation with Dr. Strange. Jon Watts' action direction still needs a little work but there is some suitably stylish superhero poses. 

28. The White Tiger

A story of class inequality, that is culturally specific but also universal, and maintains a careful tonal balancing act. Balram pretends to be utterly loyal, while inwardly plotting his own scheme. There's often a light humor to this yet he has an ugly side too. You still find yourself rooting for him though, due to the truly inhumane conditions he has to put up. Adarsh Gourav gives a skillful double performance, as the faithful servant with his own schemes.

THREE STARS:

29. Godzilla Vs. Kong

Obviously, I am predisposed to enjoy this. The story is so joyfully ridiculous that Godzilla boring a tunnel into the Hollow Earth isn't even in the top five silliest things that happen. The camera swoops along with the monsters as they swing and fall. The penultimate battle in Hong Kong is lit almost exclusively by searing colors. The puny humans are irrelevant to the movie's point and it is a little frustrating. I do wish Wingard and his team found a way to tell this highly entertaining story that didn't disregard the human element quite so much. 

30. Candyman

An ambitious film full of high-minded ideas. Candyman is an amalgamation of different legends, showing folklore to be a living organism that is constantly evolving and changing with time. But primarily this is an elaborate expression of the anxieties of being black in modern America, how this trauma is commercialized and gentrified. The film struggles to get all its ideas inside its compact 91-minute run time. Yet, ultimately, the new "Candyman" is still compelling more often than not with a strong visual sense and several creepy scenes.

31. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

Destin Daniel Cretton brings more of his indie drama style to his MCU debut than expected. This is essentially a story about the very different ways father and son process the grief of their mother/wife's death. And the Marvel Cinematic Universe is, of course, awash in Daddy Issues. Simu Liu absolutely proves himself as a leading man and Tony Leung is far from a one-dimensional villain. (Awkafina's typical schtick is less distracting than expected.) This features some good – not great – fight scenes before succumbing to the typical Marvel mayhem in the alst act. Also, Morris is awesome.

32. Nobody

Almost a deconstruction of the Dadsploitation genre, as an act of senseless violence on the hero's behalf is what gets the plot rolling. There's also a tactile acknowledgment that venting his righteous dad fury is destroying the protagonist's life... But, ultimately, this gives in to being a middle age man wish fulfillment fantasy. And an incredibly entertaining one too, as the brutal violence is fantastically choreographed and a sense of absurd fun – Christopher Lloyd with a shotgun! – creeps in as it goes on. Bob Odenkirk is inspired casting and Ilya Naishuller's flicks continue to have excellent soundtracks.

33. Jakob's Wife

Equally about a woman breaking free of patriarchal control as it is an undead marriage coming back to life. The vampire premise makes this a surprisingly wacky horror-comedy. The movie makes great use of spurting gore. Barbara Crampton is excellent, as a bored housewife and a revitilized bloodsucker. Larry Fessenden shows the limitations of Jakob's personality without turning him into an asshole. Surprisingly funny, sweet, and grisly in equal measure. 

34. Lucky

Once again proving the versatility of the slasher genre, this is a very funny and very insightful film about being a woman. That everyone repeats the same platitudes to the protagonist, every single time the central violence happens, is both hilarious and genuinely upsetting. Brea Grant is very good as the sole reasonable person in an insane world that resembles our world a lot. The final moment – there's a reason the attacker is credited simply as The Man – is the only time this one feels heavy-handed, instead of quick-witted, funny, and perceptive. The fight choreography is also unexpectedly excellent. 

35. The Boy Behind the Door

David Charbonier and Justin Powell know how to create some striking images. A grim, prolonged tension escalates in the second half. Both young actors, Lonnie Chavis as Bobby and Ezra Dewey as Kevin, are really good even if we never learn anything about these kids. When they turn the tables on their captors, it's cathartic as hell. A later flashy narrative misdirect really has no deeper meaning other than to catch the audience off-guard. I still don't know if it was necessary to build a taunt genre exercise around such a triggering, disturbing topic.

36. The Columnist

There is something certainly purgative about watching internet trolls get murdered. The film is observant enough to address the hypocrisy in its protagonist being hated simply for the things she's said; and her gender; and murdering people simply for what they've said. Director Ivo van Aart and cinematographer Martijn Cousijn created a good look film. The various murderous montages are extremely well organized. Enough tension is orchestrated through the various chase and stalk scenes. Katja Herbers is excellent as Femke. 

37. Finch

As heart-tugging as you'd expect a movie about a dying man, his dog, and a robot to be. And it's mostly earned, because the dog and the robot are both really adorable. Watching Jeff the robot grow more human is especially satisfying. Tom Hanks is, of course, down-to-earth, likable, but understandably edgy at times. The post-apocalyptic setting warrants some tension, all of which is well executed. There's some light themes about parenthood that aren't too heavy-handed. 

38. The Mitchells Vs. the Machines

The expressive, multi-media animation style provides a kinetic energy that carries this one a long way, supporting a lot of manic humor and nicely cartoon-y character designs. The Mitchells are mostly a pretty lovable group, with the dinosaur-obsessed son being my favorite. This also feels like one of the few big budget studio films to understand the internet. It's way too fucking long though and some of the gags are repeated far too much. 

39. The Scary of Sixty-First

Genuinely impossible to tell what level of irony this is operating on, as multiple scenes – and almost all the dialogue – feel like absurdist jokes played extremely stiffly. The characters are insufferable and basing a sexually explicit would-be cult classic on real life sex crimes is obviously a tactless provocation... Yet there's a creepy, dream-like power to the entire affair that I can't quite shake. The direction varies from elegant to rough, like in a real seventies genre movie. The score is excellent and the story of internet era obsession and perversion is immediately compelling. Apparently the director/co-star is a famous political podcaster and it's possible the entire movie is an elaborate in-joke for her audience. But I think I really liked this anyway???

40. V/H/S/94

Uses its shot-on-video gimmick to create a disturbing sense of immediacy. This is especially evident in “Storm Drain,” which gets increasingly creepier as it goes on. “The Empty Wake” mostly exploits the found footage style for atmosphere. “Terror” is the segment with the most humor in it and a cleverly horrific reinvention of a classic monster. Timo Tjahjanto's “The Subject” has creative creature designs but definitely feels drawn out at times. As is practically a tradition with this series, the framing device is the weakest element.

41. Knocking

Swedish thriller that successfully generates an atmosphere of chilly unease and keeps you guessing at what exactly is happening here. The premise, of asking whether the protagonist is truly experiencing something unusual or is just going crazy, sounds old hat but is utilized effectively. That's mostly thanks to Cecilia Milocco's fully flesh-out lead performance and a directorial style that places you directly in her head. I was also happy to see that the film has no supernatural element – which would've been a cheat – and even manages to wrap things up on a satisfying emotional level. 

42. The Djinn

With only two features, David Charbonier and Justin Powell have already proven themselves adapt at creating hugely suspenseful shock-horror sequences. “The Djinn's” simple premise – mute boy alone in apartment with evil spirit – and lack of dialogue essentially makes it a clothesline upon which to hang these intense scenes. A confrontation in a bathroom, a game of misdirection in a bedroom, and multiple examples of ankle-related trauma are the highlights. “The Djinn” does run out of steam eventually and chokes a bit on its own mythology before the end.

43. Teddy

Anthony Bajon brings a magnetic sort of sad-sack charm to Teddy, a very ordinary looking young fuck-up with not a lot going for him. You find yourself relating immensely to this kid as he stumbles and attempts to navigate life. The werewolf element is more metaphor than anything else, kept almost entirely off-screen, but it does lead to some squirming body-horror. This one is funny, sad, and most of all genuine in almost equal measure. 

44. Broadcast Signal Intrusion

Drawing inspiration for a conspiracy thriller from the Max Headroom hijacking, and a couple other examples of weird internet videos, is a pretty good idea. The film does an excellent job of capturing the creepiness of those signal intrusions. Harry Shum Jr. makes for a compelling lead as he sinks deeper into this web of strange mysteries. Not every single one of its plot threads tie together in a meaningful way but I still found this spooky and intriguing.

45. Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched: A History of Folk Horror

An utterly comprehensive tour through the history of this thing we call “folk horror,” which we soon come to understand encompasses a large variety of stories. (Some of which aren't even really horror.) Intensely academic, but never dull, I think just about every question you could have about folk horror is answered here. It needed more of those animated poem reading sequences to break up the three hours of film clips and interviews but this is still a lot more than just a string of titles... Even if I did end up adding almost fifty movies to my watch list.

46. The Humans

Using the visual language of a horror movie to enliven a miserablist drama about familial tension is a pretty good idea. There's jump scares, spooky sound design, and a tone of general dread here. The direction is also quite distant and chilly, making it a little hard to relate to these unhappy characters. The cast does everything they can to make you not hate these people, with Richard Jenkins and a surprisingly good Amy Schumer being the stars here. Honestly, the crumbling apartment might be my favorite thing about this. You don't usually see a shitty building that realistic in movies.

47. Fear Street: 1978

Considerable improvement over the first installment. This really captures the feel of late seventies/early eighties slashers in a satisfying way. The gore is brutal, even if you can always predict who's going to get the axe next. The cast and characters are likable too. (Alice is the MVP here.) I didn't even mind that cheap thing modern horror pics do, where they awkwardly insert a traumatic backstory for the heroine to overcome. I'm still not sold on the series' lore but I had a lot of fun. The needle drops are less intrusive too and it makes clever use of “The Man Who Sold the World.”

48. Ghostbusters: Afterlife

Frequently goes out of of its way to remind viewers of the older movie. Yet, at other times, this does put some clever spins on the older ideas its utilizing. Like the little Stay Puft sequence, the Muncher chase scene, and the expansion on the lore. McKenna Grace gives a star-making performance and there's more practical effects than I expected. But you can't help but wonder about Jason Reitman's relationship with his own dad and debate the merits of CGI necromancy. 

49. The Banishing

Christopher Smith does a great job replicating the look and feel of a classic gothic ghost story, creating a quietly spooky atmosphere with lots of creepy stuff happening in the margins. The thematically rich script also weaves ideas of sexual repression, religion, gender relations, and war in. The performances are also solid, with Sean Harris making an especially convincing Harry Price. Sadly, everything that's interesting about the film disappears into an overly complicated lore in its last third.

50. Nightbooks

Damn, this is really close to being the platonic idea of a modern day kid-friendly horror movie. The production design is gorgeous, especially during the stage play-like story-within-the-story segments. There's some pretty clever writing here, about how real life pain influences fiction and how stories control our demons. The late October ambiance is aces and the young cast is decent too. Yet there's definitely something a little off in the execution, the gross-out comedy being too shrill, the sound design too loud, the pace shifting between slow and fast. Still, definitely gets an A for effort. 

51. Kate

“Kate” is boldly derivative of a dozen other movies, with every twist and character development being predictable from the opening minutes. And it almost doesn't matter, because Mary Elizabeth Winstead is simply breathtaking as an action hero. She's simply stunning in the fight scenes, tough and capable but somehow vulnerable too. The violence is also effectively brutal, with only a cartoonish CGI car chase being the moment that sticks out.

52. Honeydew

Modern day hicksploitation that is designed to make the viewer as uncomfortable as possible, from its procession of freaky characters, its emphasis on food, and a jittery sound design/score. Features one of the creepiest grannies I've seen in a horror movie recently. The central couple are kind of irritating, which makes me wonder if this isn't meant to play as cringe comedy to a degree. The direction is definitely trying too hard, the swerves into surreal horror are unnecessary, and the ending is overly cruel. Excellent use of Lena Dunham as a backwoods mutant.   

53. A Ghost Waits

As far as micro-budget horror comedies go, this one is pretty adorable. The slow start emphasizes the protagonist's loneliness before his initial interactions with the ghost become an amusingly flippant comedy. This is the first sign that the story will head in increasingly neurotic and funny directions, which includes the best depiction of the afterlife as a bureaucracy since “Beetlejuice.” The finale goes in a surprisingly sweet, emotional direction and I think it works. The acting is a bit ropey and the production values are nonexistent but this is a promising debut. 

54. Seance

When it comes to creating decent jump-scares or stylish murder scenes, Simon Barrett knows what he's doing. This supernatural-tinged slasher has some decent spooky ambiance, thanks to its chilly prep school setting, and at least one dance-assisted scene of gory murder. I like that the girls are fighters and it leads to an action packed, bloody climax that is pretty damn good. The characters aren't much more than archetypes but the cast is capable enough to make them likable. 

55. Prisoners of the Ghostland

Damn, it looks so cool. The sets, costumes, cinematography, and production design are all amazing. Nicolas Cage is, of course, hilarious and leads an eclectic cast. The slow-mo infused action scenes are fun, especially when Sion Sono deliberately subverts the expectations we have for those scenes. For as much imagination that's on display in this post-apocalyptic samurai/western/sci-fi action fantasy, it's strangely lifeless for long stretches. Great beginning and decent ending, with a saggy middle. 

56. Fear Street: 1666

The 1666 half of this is surprisingly good. The puritan paranoia is well utilized, the reveal is satisfying, and I like how the theme of teenage rebellion is maintained. Once the setting shifts back into the nineties, things slow down a little bit. Largely because, as previously established, I don't really care about the “Fear Street” mythology much. Still, there are some neat moments in the latter half, like the slasher showdown. Better than the first installment, weaker than the second.

57. Pig

Nicolas Cage gives a titanic performance, carrying a lifetime of regrets on his face and dropping cutting, perceptive monologues. This is a movie designed to defy expectations, to focus on the quiet moments. And, sure, some of this stuff is great. Like Cage reuniting with an old friend over baguettes or a conversation with a little boy about a tree. Yet the movie is so determined to keep its themes of loss close to its chest that it just comes off as vague, especially when concerning the supporting characters. And what about Pig, the creature that motivates the plot that we barely spend any time with? I appreciate the ideas but I wish the film didn't keep them at a distance.

58. The Stylist

I've always partial towards stories of isolated outsiders falling deeper into obsession and striking back violently at the world. “The Stylist” doesn't break any new ground but it does feature a number of memorable sequences, largely built around its main character's habit of scalping people. Najarra Townsend gives a wonderful lead performance but I wish the film explored Claire's lonely world, and her fixations on what she can't have, a little more.

59. Last Night in Soho

Through her dreams of Sandie, Ellie quickly learns a hard truth: That the past wasn't all it was cracked up to be. The vibrant colors immediately bring the gialli to mind. The movie is quite compelling for its first hour or so. Afterwards, a series of increasingly underwhelming reveals unfurl. There's also elaborately choreographed sequence set to specially selected needle drops, some of which are literally dance numbers. Yet it's never scary. The final twist muddles the thematic waters. 

60. A Quiet Place Part II

I'm not sure this does anything that the first one didn't do but one must admit that John Krasinski is adapt at engineering crackling scare sequences. The panic-soaked opening salvo, a suspense-filled encounter on an empty train car, and a cut between conflicts on a dock and in a factory are all pretty damn well done. The acting is strong enough and there's enough new variations here to keep you invested, even when folks sometimes thrust themselves into unnecessarily dangerous circumstances. Yeah, I'd watch another one of these. 

61. I Blame Society

Not the first time I've seen the “self-actualization via serial murder” story but I gotta commend the filmmakers for the commitment. The mixture of pitch-black laughs, on-the-nose satire, and an increasingly severe atmosphere of depravity works pretty well. I wasn't sure about Gillian Wallce Horvat's performance at first but she grew on me by the end. The character's malignant narcissism/desire-to-be-loved is well conveyed. The found footage camera work is pretty messy but I still dug this one.

62. The Night House

As an exploration of grief, “The Night House” is very compelling. Especially when Beth is faced with the horrible revelation that the man she loved wasn't who he appeared to be. That sometimes the people we love do horrible things and it doesn't change how we feel. Rebecca Hall gives it her all, depicting a woman completely at a loss to handle all the conflicting emotions she's feeling. In fact, the story is way more interesting when focused on Beth's feeling than when attempting to craft scares.

63. Gunpowder Milkshake

Gorgeous production design, in service of a retro aesthetic inspired by cutesy anime, and some very fun action only go so far. The story wears its influence – John Wick, Edgar Wright, Tarantino, bisexual lighting – on its sleeve, which might be why this has such a been-there, done-that feeling. A stacked cast being allowed to do their thing – hello Michelle Yeoh with a chain whip – also helps but the characters are such thin sketches. I was smiling by the time there's a dinner shoot-out set to the Animals but I'm probably not going to remember anything about this in a month.

64. Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight II

I prefer the played-straight, meat-and-potatoes slasher thrills of the original but I've got to admire the audacity of this sequel. It starts as a silly horror/comedy about idiot cops being torn apart by a monster. The last third totally flips the premise, the lovelorn monsters now being the main characters, as they try to navigate their relationship and brutally murder anyone who gets in their way. It's never as funny or clever as it wants to be but I enjoy how purely unexpected it is.

65. Castle Falls

A modest film with modest goals. Takes its time getting to the action, with a slow first act that establishes all the characters and lets director/co-star Dolph Lundren emote and cry on-camera. Once the timer starts, this rarely stops. Scott Adkins, of course, insures the fight scenes are excellent. (Even if his fight with lumbering, ancient Dolph is a bit like watching a chimpanzee wrestle an ox.) The direction is frequently inventive and intense as well. The bad guys are as two-dimensional as can be and the story is totally predictable but this certainly satisfies that throwback action itch.

66. Kandisha

Unsurprisingly, Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo create some graphic and disturbing death scenes here. I also like how the titular entity grows increasingly monstrous as the film goes on. I wish the central teens were more developed. The movie spends a lot of time with them but they remain frustratingly vague. Also, for a film steeped in other cultures and urban legend, this is disappointingly disinterested in exploring those ideas. Still, a creepy villain and some intense gore go a long way.

67. One-Shot

The illusion of being one long, continuous take actually serves a purpose: It puts the viewer right in the thick of it, dragged through this tense situation as our heroes try to survive a siege. It's frequently exhausting and that's by design. This is also a movie almost entirely devoted to watching Scott Adkins murder an entire island full of bad guys, and that's pretty entertaining too. The story also interrogates the immorality of the War on Terror a little bit. At least more than you'd expect a down and dirty action flick like this to do. It still feels like watching a video game play-through at times though.

68. The Loneliest Whale: The Search for 52

I honestly should rate this a lot lower. Like all of director Joshua Zeman’s documentaries, he foregrounds himself in this story too often. There’s obviously not enough material here for a feature film, so the run time is padded out with information on the whaling industry, the history of the “Save the Whales” campaign, and the science of sonar. And you might not be surprised that the ending here is far from conclusive… Yet it also becomes oddly touching. When focused on why the story of the 52-Hertz whale resonates with people so much is when this shines the most. Also excellent use of Kate Miccuci. 

69. Rose Plays Julie

Technically, this has a lot in its favor. The narrative keeps you guessing, as you wonder if the protagonist is dangerous to fearing what situation she's gotten herself into now. The way an emotional bond slowly forms between its two lead women is weirdly touching too. There's a lot on this one's mind, as far as the trauma of sexual assault and how it effects women is concerned. Yet the damn thing is so distant, so cold, in its approach. You never feel like you can get close to these characters, who feel so remote and robotic, because the movie is so icy in its presentation.

70. Hell Hath No Fury

Grim action-thriller essentially all about how war turns everyone into an asshole. The violence is bloody and brutal. The cast is certainly more than capable, Nina Bergman being a strong heroine and Daniel Bernhardt being one of many imposing villains. The story has enough twists and turns to keep you guessing. Not all the subplots pay off and it's a bit too minor to handle the themes it does but, overall, I enjoyed this.

71. Some Kind of Heaven

Takes us inside a pre-fab retirement community in Florida, an extremely surreal world. Naturally, the people inside this plastic paradise are deeply dysfunctional. We meet some pretty eccentric characters here, like the elderly acid-head who has to go to court. Or the freeloader in constant legal trouble. Or the widow who is one of the few people miserable in this town. Interesting stuff but, even at only 82 minutes long, it's definitely too long. This would've made a great half-hour of television.

72. Venom: Let There Be Carnage

The bickering between the alien life form and his human host is usually amusing, which climaxes with an elaborate “coming out” sequence. While this gets a lot of laughs from the CGI slime monster's snide remarks and its dysfunctional relationship with Eddie, the cinematic Carnage is an anemic imitation of his four color counterpart. None of the pyrotechnics and stunts are especially memorable and some of it borders on the goofy, yet Serkis is smart enough to cook enough humor into the action to keep things plugging along at a decent pace. 

73. Black Widow

Foregrounds the Marvel fixation on family that allows for a lot of smaller, funny moments. One gets the impression that Cate Shortland was a lot more interested in the familial squabbling than the special effects-packed fight scenes. The feminist subtext is toothless, as the film never broaches the ideas in any deep way. Florence Pugh steals the show and there's the occasional pause for gracefulness but it can't beat the lingering sense that this is an epilogue, instead of a new beginning.

74. The Spine of Night

As a fan of “Heavy Metal,” Ralph Bakshi, Frank Frazetta, and other examples of album art fantasy, I definitely appreciate the idea behind this animated anthology. The rotoscoped animation provides a distinctively ugly look to the entire film. The voice cast – packed with cult favorite performers like Richard E. Grant, Lucy Lawless, and Patton Oswalt – certainly bring their A game. This starts strong but eventually gets lost among its own elaborate lore. The constant nudity and graphic gore quickly grows tiresome though.

75. Beanie Mania

Much like the tiny little toys that inspired it, this documentary is slight with not much inside. That doesn't mean it's not fun to revisits the Beanie Baby craze of the nineties, to see how it developed, fell apart, and how it became a source of nostalgia. Some of the characters we meet here are pretty amusing. And, of course, we see how the speculation bubble bursts and how greed corrupted something pure. But even at only 80 minutes this feels a bit overextended. 

TWO AND A HALF STARS:

76. Halloween Kills

As a slasher movie, “Halloween Kills” is certainly fantastically engineered. The murder scenes are intense and impressively bloody. David Gordon Green and his co-conspirators understand that Michael Myers is a completely unknowable force. Yet the way the plot sidelines Laurie Strode, wanders off on a number of digressive episodes, and an extensive subplot that feels disconneted from much of the movie. Ultimately, “Halloween Kills” suffers badly from being the middle chapter of a trilogy. As is too often the case with stories planned out this way, it feels a bit like the filmmakers really only had enough story for one sequel but were determined to make two instead.

77. Blood Conscious

The writing here slingshots wildly between really interesting and extremely frustrating. The opening act is incredibly tense and uncomfortable and the film never quite recaptures that. The idea that white people naturally distrust people of color is a strong foundation for a horror story. This film certainly features 2021's most insidiously obnoxious Karen. The eventual uncertainty in the premise, that people might or might not be changing into demons, creates some fine paranoid. For all these strength, the actions and choices the characters make – like staying in the cabin their family was just murdered at – still feels utterly unnatural. In general, I think everyone should've been panicking a lot more in this situation and it took me out of an otherwise interesting story.

78. My Heart Can't Beat Until You Tell It To

Another one of those dour domestic dramas disguised as an “elevated” horror movie. I'm not necessarily against this. The performances, Owen Campbell especially as the sickly brother, are all excellent. The premise of vampirism as metaphor for terminal illness is a novel one. Eventually, a sort of grim tension does begin to form as this scenario spirals more out of control. But it's so tortuously slow, so maudlin and self-serious, and almost nothing happens for most of the run time. Do filmmakers realize horror movies can have both character development and a sense of movement? 

79. No Time to Die

Mostly another attempt by Hollywood to appear progressive without actually putting any work into it, that renders Bond just another sexless modern blockbuster hero. An especially mopey one,  with an overly maudlin and serialized script. The villain's under-explained plot left me with a few lingering questions too. The action sequences are still stunning and there's some nice color in the cinematography. Ultimately, “No Time to Die” represents the long-running franchise during a time of transition. 

80. Old

Like a lot of latter day Shyamalan, this floats between goofy and genuinely nightmarish. The precise direction does create a creepy mood sometimes. In its best moments,  “Old” shows how people respond while panicking or to the adverse effects of aging. There's even a few poignant scenes, as the cast gracefully accept what's happening. The body horror is also pretty creative. Yet Shyamalan's stilted, surreal dialogue is frequently distracting. This is definitely a premise designed not to be thought about too hard. Shymalan inserts one of his classic twists and it needlessly muddles what was a straight-forward metaphor before that point. Good on the casting director for finding an older actor that looks so much like Alex Wolff though.

81. Dune

Congratulations to Denis Villeneuve for somehow making a mostly comprehensible movie out of Frank Herbert's impenetrably dense book. There's the right level of sci-fi spectacle awe but also a sense of humor, crowd-pleasing supporting cast, and even an attempt to make the main characters something other than archetypes. Corny shit like the Voice and body-shields even look kind of cool. (But not that silly tooth poison gas scene.) Splitting the story in half allows for more focus on world-building, which was definitely a good idea. That also means all the action is shoved into the back-half, leading to a lumpy pacing. But it's still “Dune,” so it's still suffocatingly up its own ass. And it really does just end at a random point half-way through the story...

82. Fear Street: 1994

Like a lot of modern slashers, this gets in its own way. When focused on the trashy thrills – the stylish, neon-lit direction; the extended stalk-and-slash scenes; the hanky-panky; the gore gags, at least one of which is a show-stopper – it's fairly engrossing. The attempts to build-up a lore are okay but ultimately slow the story down and feels like an unnecessary complications. Did we need three archetypal killers? Wouldn't one have sufficed? I didn't think I liked the characters that much but the cruel twist ending pissed me off, so I guess I was more attached than I realized. The needle drops are way too obvious but I did appreciate the traditional orchestral score.

83. Oxygen

Certainly has a hell of a premise. The idea of waking up inside a box is a terrifying thought. This claustrophobic set-up is paired with an aggressively ticking clock, generating some real suspense. Unfortunately, the movie begins cheating with its premise almost immediately, introducing a robot friend for the protagonist early on and featuring extensive flashbacks. A series of preposterous plot twist and some far-out visuals almost won me back, before a weak ending lost me again.

84. Threshold

This was shot on two iPhones and you can't tell, which I guess shows how democratize the movie-making process has gotten. The script was also supposedly largely improvised and that's also only obvious once or twice. Truthfully, I was surprisingly sucked into the very natural seeming relationship between Madison West and Joey Millin as troubled siblings. Whenever the movie remembers it wants to be a horror film is when it falters, with overdone sound design and uninspiring “creepy” visuals. (Oh no, a clown mask and a fat naked man!) This is especially apparent in the utterly underwhelming – and then very abrupt – climax. Not a bad try though.

85. Fully Realized Humans

Genuinely can't tell if I liked this or not. The deeply neurotic protagonists are kind of annoying and this ventures into mumblecore arguing too often for my taste. The (admittedly pretty short) movie is basically a collection of comedy bits, several of which are actually decently funny. Such as the sequence in which Joshua Leonard talks a friend into punching him in a face, or when the couple gets way too personal with a physical therapist. The film, totally unexpectedly, ends on a surprisingly touching confrontation, revolving around the basic idea that every parent tries to do better than their parents did. But even moments that I enjoyed are partnered with other ones, where something quirky happens for quirkiness' sake or the characters are obnoxious.

86. Horror in the High Desert

I wanted to like this scrappy micro-budget take on “Lake Mungo” more than I actually did. The mockumentary segments are undermined by some pretty ropey acting, the reality of the situation never quite being sold. Having said that, the slow build-up to the found footage segment in the final twenty minutes is effective. It's a surprisingly creepy scene... Right up until the movie stops implying and starts showing its threat, which comes off as more goofy than scary. Nice try though. Gotta give credit where it's due, it almost works.

87. The Sparks Brothers

I went into Wright's documentary as a Sparks skeptic. The film is an exhaustive tour through the band's fifty-year history. There's certainly lots of amusing or interesting stories from the road here. Yet I left "The Sparks Brothers" wishing it gave us a little more insight into their creative process. There's only so many times you can hear the statement "fans and critics love them but they've never quite broke through with the public" reframed before it ceases to be interesting. The film at least makes me understand the band's appeal, even if it can't make me a fan.

88. Slaxx

The killer blue jeans this horror/comedy is about are probably its most charming attribute. They are pretty expressive for denim, especially once they start to dance. The movie earns points for thinking up creative ways for a pair of pants to kill people, in increasingly gory ways. It's also a convincing recreation of – and occasionally gutsy critique of – shallow corporate capitalist culture. Sadly, the characters are way too thinly defined to be endearing, any of the non-jeans-related comedy lands with a thud, and the tone of the movie eventually veers towards the weirdly serious.

89. Wrath of Man

What we have here is an incredibly straight-forward story of revenge and there being no honor among thieves that Guy Ritchie can't resist twisting into something more elaborate. So leaps in time and switches in perspective and lots of morally gray subplots are added in an attempt to make this seem more complicated than it really is. The tricks are compelling for a while but wear thin well before the two hour runtime is up. Which is a bummer because, when this is devoted to Jason Statham barking hard-boiled dialogue and shooting people in the face, it's a solidly entertaining flick. 

90. The Wild Man: Skunk Ape

This found footage flick definitely has its tongue partially in cheek, as there's plenty of goofy shenanigans in the first half. The movie also earns some serious points for continuing pass the point where this story would normally stop, spinning the plot off in a bizarre, conspiracy theory flavored direction. The monster effects are very cheap and it becomes repetitive once the skunk ape becomes the central focus. 

91. 15 Things You Didn't Know About Bigfoot (#1 Will Blow Your Mind!)

It has the funniest title of the year and perfectly captures the look and style of a VICE documentary but also, sadly, captures the matching sense of smug detachment as well. There's a number of decent reoccurring gags – such as the cryptozoologist's tendency to ramble on about his ex-wife or the contrast between the protagonist's monotone narration and his enraged actions – and it builds towards a number of amusing reveals in the last third. Yet the main character is such a miserable fuck and the movie attempts to mine his relationship with his cameraman/producer for some sort of actual pathos, which does not work at all. 

92. Lamb

Ada, the child/lamb hybrid at the center of this story, is both quite uncanny and kind of cute. You understand both why her adoptive parents love her and why everyone else is creeped out. The sweeping cinematography and quiet weirdness of this quasi-fairy tale did draw me in. Noomi Rapace is, of course, fantastic. Yet the ending is so blunt, so anticlimatic, that it makes you notice that the rest of the movie, and any poetic ironic it may contain, is actually pretty shallow. 

93. There's Someone Inside Your House

A somewhat desperate attempt to reinvent the slasher movie for modern youth. The racially and sexually diverse cast is fine, even if the film makes the least interesting character the protagonist. (And I wasn't clear how this lovable group of outcasts were also friends with the rich kid and known by everyone in the school.) But the murder mystery is so boring! This has one of the most tedious killer motivation speeches I've seen recently, which does nothing but reveal that the film's social-political themes are half-assed. And it's a shame too, because the stalk-and-slash scenes are really well done, tense and gory. 

94. The Deep House

Taking the structure of a Halloween haunted attraction and setting it underwater, which includes hybridizing the story with some found footage elements, admittedly is a novel approach. The characters – one of which is an obnoxious know-it-all that could've been punished more – going through this spooky location, finding more unsettling discoveries, is pretty neat. However, following an intense sequence involving some chains, this runs out of steam and the story simply repeats itself, with increasingly louder jump scares, before reaching its admittedly surprisingly grim conclusion. 

95. The Night

I can pinpoint the exact moment this one fell apart for me. The first hour is a fairly sturdy haunted hotel flick, as a couple on the verge of divorce are hassled by creepy apparitions. The two then try to drive away, which seems like a reasonable course of action. The movie can't end at only 50 minutes though, so the film has to find increasingly tedious ways to keep its story going. Turning this from a simple haunting to something more philosophical is ill-advised, leading to a meandering last act. But there's definitely some novelty in seeing the Iranian version of this kind of story.

96. Skull: The Mask

Brazilian gore-fest that is completely focused on the squishy villain graphically hacking people to pieces. This is probably why the plot is an incoherent mess, that regularly shifts between (unlikable) protagonists and is knee-deep in hard-to-follow lore. That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy some of the slasher shenanigans here. Like a stretchy massacre in a dance club, a duel with a katana wielding priest, or the hallucinatory visions. This one definitely needed to get out of its own way more often though...

97. Raya and the Last Dragon

Feels a lot like an adaptation of a long-running series of books or manga... One of those adaptations that tries to squeeze the entire story into one movie. And yet front-loading with a ton of exposition is not it's most distracting aspect. Any attempt to transport the viewer is undermined by the snarky, sub-Whedonesque dialogue. We never really care about the different characters and the theme of unity never work. This is an animated fantasy for kids that's also a martial arts movie, which has some novelty. 

98. Dementer

Spooky vibes only take you so far. Chad Crawford Kinkle continues to put his own unique stamp on backwoods horror and he gets a strong performance out of Katie Groshong. The premise, revolving around developmentally disabled adults, is interesting. Sadly, this eventually degrades into weird stuff happening for undefined reasons before totally loosing the audience at the end. I'm just not sure there was enough story here for a feature. 

99. Boys from County Hell

Returns to the primordial roots of the vampire, depicted here as a nearly indestructible, rotting corpse that can suck the blood out of people without even touching them. That's also the coolest thing about this extremely Irish – I had to turn the subtitles on – horror/comedy. There's definitely some likable faces in the cast, Michael Hough as SP especially, but the characters never quite come to life. Add to that an uncertain tone that swings between manic and maudlin and you have a monster feature that isn't quite steady enough to entertain consistently. 

100. The Power

Better as an examination of the way men abuse their authority to abuse women than as a horror movie. The setting – an old English hospital during a power outage – is pretty great, utilized for some decent spookiness. The film throws every cliché it can into the mix, from bodily contortions, to willowy children's laughter, and imperiled women, in an attempt to be scary. It never quite works because our protagonist is so one-note, the pacing is aimless, and the film's supernatural threat is never developed into something concrete. 

101. Eternals

I don't give a shit about the Eternals. These are godly entities that are apart from, and above, humanity. We're told over and over again that the Eternals love humanity but we're not really show this. Ikaris and Sersi's eons-spanning love is limited to a few terse conversations. The movie is so concerned with the overwrought, but strangely lifeless, interpersonal affairs of these immortal assholes that it barely functions as satisfying superhero spectacle. The story is most compelling when it asks the question of "what do you do when you've been alive for 10,000 years?" 

102. Willy's Wonderland

When focused on a silent but raging Nic Cage beating the shit out of animatronic animals, this is pretty damn fun. The goofy slasher elements, best emphasized by the scene were two teens decide to fuck in the haunted birthday room, can be amusing sometimes too. Ultimately, this can't maintain the manic energy necessary to make a cult experiment like this fully satisfying. By the time Nic faces off with Willy, you feel a little worn out. Not to mention the visual style is obviously beholden to numerous other genre films. 

103. Isolation

Pandemic themed anthology is very uneven. Larry Fessenden's “Fever” has some surreal sights but its horror content is abrupt. “5G” never attempts to address the reason why people believe these conspiracy theories. "The Dread" is an almost plotless story without much tension or dread. "Pacific Northwest" builds grim tension from its children characters. "Meat Hands" has a real sense of sadness while “It's Inside” features some seriously cringe-inducing gore. "Gust" has excellent sound design and an ending that hits like the punchline of a cruel joke. “Homebodies” functions decently enough without any depth and “Comfort Zone” ends on a low-key note.

104. Escape Room: Tournament of Champions

The escape rooms are more convoluted and the traps are sillier. Watching the characters – all of whom, aside from the returning cast, are provided a single defining characteristics – unravel these goofy puzzles is involving. You can't help but try and figured things out alongside the protagonists, no matter how unlikely some of the reveals are. There's a fairly decent plot twist in the last third but, like the first movie, it leads to a lame ending. Taylor Russel is developing into a sturdy heroine.

105. Witch Hunt

Elle Callahan's follow-up to “Head Count” is, if nothing else, incredibly ambitious. She pulls off some pretty good world-building on an obviously low budget, creating a distinct and somehow eerily plausible version of the U.S. ruled by anti-witchcraft hysteria. (The social commentary, about immigration and misogyny may be on-the-nose but, if the last year has taught us anything, totally justified.) The cast of unknowns are decent, especially Christian Carmargo as the fanatical witchhunter, but the film does end up feeling like part one of a Y.A. Saga. The ending left me scratching my head and the attempts to become a jump-scare filled horror movie are deeply underwhelming.

106. The Toll

One of the better “spooky shit happens for no reason” indies I've seen recently, if only because I actually liked the socially awkward Uber driver and his very nervous fare. That kept me watching during the obviously Slender Man-inspired middle, where the filmmaker is shoving in whatever quasi-creepy scenarios he can think of. The writing is awkward, with a hilariously bad exposition dump and the questionable insertion of some serious subject matter. I actually like the twist ending, as it circles back to what you expected the movie to be in the first place. 

107. In the Earth

I like the streak of goofy-gruesome humor throughout this. Like the protagonist being the biggest wimp possible or a unhinged attacker reacting to a knife in his eye in the most mundane way. Ben Wheatley includes some of those psychedelic, quick-edit visuals that he's so fond of. (In many ways, this is a company piece of “A Field in England.”) Linking mythological ideas with modern facts about fungus is interesting. Yet the narrative feels shaggy and incomplete in a very frustrating way, as if the film was written quickly and thrown together on-the-spot.  

TWO STARS:

108. The Advent Calendar

Unsurprisingly, a movie about a killer advent calendar is – go figure – pretty silly. There's multiple attempts to wring scares from a cute dog. By the time Eva's closest friend is humped to death, the movie had drifted into total ridiculousness. If an ostensibly still sympathetic protagonist has slowly become an unrepentant psychopath, and the rules of your rules-govern monster stop making sense, that might be a scripting issue. The cinematography is decent and the special effects aren't bad. 

109. Antlers

It tries really hard. The relentlessly gloomy atmosphere includes excellent, unrelentingly bleak cinematography and dour characters defined solely by their pain. Themes of trauma, abuse, the meth epidemic, and environmentalism weave in and out of the story without solidifying into an actual point. The monster stuff is cool, though the movie holds off on doing anything with it for as long as possible. It's frustrating to see a film that probably could've been great if one or two things were a little more consistent or invested with life.  

110. Slumber Party Massacre

Admittedly, this remake tries to spruce things up. The retro opening, references to true crime podcast, and the girls being prepared for the killer are all neat touches. Yet the story essentially ending with a half-hour to go, the film limping through a twist-filled last act, was a big mistake. The movie thinks it's being really clever by subverting the male gaze, seemingly missing that the original was already pretty subversive and in a less show-off-y way. Since this was made for TV, the gore's not that memorable. The characters never come to life and all the best gags are taken directly from the original.

111. The Sinners

As long as this is focused on the stylized world it created, it works pretty well. Watching well-dressed schoolgirls terrorize each other in exaggeratedly bitchy ways, to rebel against the religious fundamentalist community they live in, is fun. As soon as the movie swerves towards more overt horror trappings, of abduction and masked murder, it lost me. By the time the confession-filled denouncement comes, a once promising film has disappeared totally up its own ass.

112. John and the Hole

Chilly study of a young sociopath that definitely needed more meat on its bones. The methodical direction, deliberate visuals, and a creepy performance from Charlie Shotwell as the titular boy are all worthwhile. Yet that's the only thing the film has in its narrative, aside from a few shrug-worthy subplots that go nowhere. Perhaps the family he sticks in the hole should've been developed more, as the film ultimately feels as emotionless and distant as its cold protagonist.

113. Jungle Cruise

The Rock and Emily Blunt's easy-going charisma only goes so far. The first act of this is decent enough, breezy fun. Once the setting shifts to the Amazon, you notice 90% of the movie is made up of underwhelming CGI and green-screen work. Once the mutated conquistadors – rejects from a “Pirates of the Caribbean” sequel – show up, the movie lost me. This signals the story sliding more into its own mythology, in ways that increasingly don't make sense. The fun evaporates long before the two hour run time is up.

114. Bloodthirsty

When this one seemed like it was about a Svengali manipulating a young woman into abandoning her principals and becoming evil, I was pretty into it. Greg Bryk gives an effectively sinister performance. Inevitably, the story collapses into melodrama, plot twists, and overly vague resolutions. The budget was obviously not there for the werewolf aspect, which is kept mostly off-screen in the most frustrating way possible. One also can't help but notice that the rising pop star protagonist isn't actually that talented a singer or songwriter. 

115. Werewolves Within

Josh Ruben's follow-up to “Scare Me” obviously has somethings in common with his debut. Both contain highly exaggerated and more-than-a-little obnoxious characters spouting stylized dialogue in a confined location. While the director's first movie managed to eventually warm the audience up to the aggressively annoying characters, the same can not be said here. Most of the people in “Werewolves Within” are caricatures, defined by one broad attribute that the movie attempts to exploit for comedy. When tied to a whodunit plot full of red herrings, it's hard to get invested. And absolutely none of this hyper-smarmy humor works when you don't care about the characters speaking it. Sam Richardson and Milana Vayntrub give the best performances and the eventual werewolf reveal is effective, if a bit obvious in retrospect.

116. Dashcam

A certain grim tension is generated in “Dashcam's” best moments, such as when our protagonist uncovers the titular footage. Or when an ominous shadow stretches over him. Sadly, a number of factors keep this from being truly compelling. There's far too many tedious sequences of watching our main character fiddle with editing software. Or wandering around a park at midnight. He's also kind of unlikable, motivated more by avarice than good intentions. It's a mystery that kind of goes nowhere, despite some interesting stops along the way (the linguist sister) or an underutilized Halloween night setting. 

117. Sator

After a certain point, an attempt to build a spooky atmosphere of woody isolation just results in a movie where nothing much happens. It seems 70% of this one is devoted to people lingering around a forest. The most interesting thing about it is a naturalistic performance from the grandmother – played by the director's real grandmother – who is dealing with dementia. The supernatural stuff is kind of creepy but it's so vague. In fact, the entire movie is overwhelmingly vague to the point where I had trouble following the (otherwise very simple) plot. 

118. The Tomorrow War

Despite being comprised of parts stolen from earlier and better sci-fi/action movies, the premise still doesn't make a lot of sense. I've got to admire the movie foregrounding its Daddy Issues themes so much, even if the script was clearly work-shopped to death and back. No matter how minor an element in the beginning may seem, believe me, it'll be important later... The creature effects are the highlight of the film, which is unsurprising considering an animator directed this. The aliens are certainly better than the action scenes, which are frequently hilariously melodramatic. Chris Pratt is woefully miscast. 

119. Mortal Kombat

The fight choreography is disappointing, over-edited and with too much forced-in CGI. The story focuses on lore and people finding their superpowers. Instead of letting the viewer get to know the characters, the script dials down on obnoxiously vulgar “funny” dialogue. Just when it feels like the story is really getting going, the movie ends. Hiroyuki Sanada and Joe Taslim are good. Their fight scenes are the only really memorable combat – mortal or otherwise – in the film.  

120. Shadow in the Cloud

Every time this one started to win me over, it pushed back with stupid bullshit. The narrative leaps through so many hoops to justify its premise before revealing a decent twist... Which it undermines with the most insincere “tough girl” bullshit I've seen recently. Some tight tension is engineered in the confined first half... Before the action gets increasingly improbable in utterly laughable ways. The trying-too-hard electronic score started to work and then a fucking pop groove appears on the soundtrack. The gremlin is kind of cool and at least Chloe Moretz drops the embarrassing accent quickly enough. 

121. Black Friday

Reminds me of a lot of other low budget horror/comedies that mistake obnoxious quirks for lovable personality traits. The script also confuses colorful profanity for memorable dialogue. It says a lot about how listless “Black Friday” that none of its cool zombie effects comes off as neat, fun, or all that interesting. Unsurprisingly, Bruce Campbell and Michael Jai White are the highlights.

122. Demonic

Neil Blomkamp, patron saint of squandered potential, introduces an intriguing virtual reality premise in the film's first half, bringing some mildly creepy visual distortion along with it. All of this interesting stuff is then abandoned half-way through, in favor of a totally standard and deeply boring demonic possession film. It's almost startling how little these two plot threads have to do with each other! Throw in a goofy looking raven demon, some unlikely plot twists, and a shaky lead performance and you have another forgettable misfire from a once promising filmmaker.

123. Sacrifice

There's some good bisexual lighting here. Otherwise, this Lovecraft-inspired story of cults among the fjords doesn't have too much to offer. The husband immediately becoming attached to this community strains plausibility and makes him a massive asshole for the rest of the movie. His pregnant wife is forced through a series of largely frightless nightmare sequences. The performances aren't great, including the usually reliable Barbara Crampton affecting a Swedish Chef accent. And it all leads towards a twist ending that is both too blunt and too predictable.

124. Cruella

Disney squeezes one of their most amusingly devious animated villains through the superhero origin story meat grinder. This includes a secret identity, a supervillain to fight, and a big dramatic reveal in the second act. The already ridiculous story gets increasingly unlikely as it goes along. The soundtrack choices and references to the cartoon are both painfully obvious. Emma Stone and Emma Thompson, along with Craig Gillepsie's energetic direction and some admittedly spiffy costumes, give it their all. But it's not enough to justify this crass studio product's existence.

125. The Forever Purge

In a post-Trump America, what purpose does “The Forever Purge” serve? A movie about right-wing militias waging a race war barely qualifies as speculative fiction anymore. Pointing out that something exists doesn't count as social commentary. As is typical of the series, the horror shenanigans here are actually pretty silly. Such sequences existing alongside scenes of Neo-Nazis describing their desire to racially cleanse America definitely feels fucking weird. Moreover, “The Forever Purge” sees the series mostly consumed by its action tendencies. There's more shoot-outs, fisticuffs, and dune buggy chases than fear and suspense in this sequel. 

126. Sound of Violence

Staunchly refuses to invest its characters or premise with any further depth. How does Alexia's occasional deafness, her murderous impulses, her synesthetia, and the orgasmic glee it causes her connect? The film never elaborates. It also never attempts to probe Alexia's thought process or inner life, making her a blank of a protagonist. The gory murder scenes feature ridiculous torture contraptions that push far past plausible. The detective subplot is totally disposable. The scene with the razor wire harp was pretty sick. That made me cringe in a good way. 

127. Silent Night

Such a hopelessly bleak story, with such an air of futility and nihilism about it, that the apocalyptic question seems moot. We are presented with a group, too large to keep track of, of miserable, unhappy characters being awful to each other. Yet everyone is so hateful, that you can't care if they live or die. A handful of times, a sick sense of humor does successfully emerge here. Mostly thanks to the cast. 

128. Wrong Turn

The worst thing about this "Wrong Turn" is that it lacks any convictions behind its views. I assume this was going to be a story about clueless urbanites fumbling into a rural society they can't understand and being punished for it. Despite that, the movie still treats the Foundation as antagonists, especially in the thoroughly unnecessary denouncement. Are we suppose to sympathize with the Foundation or fear them? Make up your mind, movie. I actively disliked most of the characters, who come off as conceited and out-of-touch when they're not outright belligerent.

129. Fried Barry

You can't just make a whole movie about a weird looking dude wandering from one surreal encounter to another. To hear this is based on a short is unsurprising, as it can only maintain its drugged-out energy for about a half-hour before the audience realizes, no, this isn't actually going anywhere. The crunching electronic score, spaced-out lead performance from an actor with an intriguing physicality, and some fucked-up gore are kind of fun but the high wears off quickly. 

130. The United States Vs. Billie Holiday

Andra Day definitely does a pitch-perfect impersonation of Holiday's distinctive vocal patterns. A strong lead performance can only go so far to redeem a melodramatic take on the material. The film often uncomfortably perched between exploitative and striving to be taken seriously. This overheated touch is most obvious in Daniels' treatment of the film's racial elements. Eventually, this just becomes a miserable slog as repetitive misfortune is revisited on the Holiday. 

131. Annette

I hate sung-through musicals, because inevitably the songs just turn into explaining the plot. I don't really like Sparks much either. Every song is so repetitive, tinny, and literal. Why were two actors who can barely sing cast in a movie where almost every line is sung? I understand what the movie was doing, playing with operatic melodrama tropes, but I still wish more time was put into developing the relationship. I liked the weird puppet baby.

132. Army of the Dead

There's something about Zack Snyder's work that I find philosophically repugnant. There's a macho nihilism to this film that is exhausting. Even Snyder's “fun” movie has mentions of sexual assault and an aborted fetus. Characters randomly pause to have painfully maudlin conversations about grief, dead parents, and missed opportunities. It looks and feels incredibly drab. With an extended, dragging run time, the movie should have plenty of time to expand on its extensive cast. Instead, they are all indistinct sketches. The film puts its own twist on the undead, which is the only interesting thing about it.

ONE AND A HALF STARS:

133. Benny Loves You

The one clever idea inside this otherwise painfully lame horror/comedy is the titular plush toy, when not murdering people, otherwise maintaining the personality of a childish plaything. Benny is pretty cute. Everything else about the movie is less so. All the characters are obnoxious, reduced to annoying quirks like an obsession with Prince or smacking people. The humor is frequently mean-spirited, such as an preoccupation with killing animals, or obvious gags, such as hoary cliches about nerdy characters. The CGI is terrible, the practical effects are unimpressive, and the direction is hammy. 

134. We Need to Do Something

Essentially mashes together two premises. The first, of a pair of teenage girls falling in love and enacting supernatural rituals, might've been good if developed more. The second, of a family trapped in a bathroom during some sort of apocalypse, suffers from truly obnoxious writing. This features maybe the most annoying unreasonable father figure I've seen in a movie recently. Eventually, this devolves into an utterly tedious “creepy shit happening for no reason” movie. It really just feels like the filmmakers didn't have enough story for a feature film. Good use of “Putting on the Ritz” though.

135. Zack Snyder's Justice League

Honest to God, this makes me appreciate Joss Whedon more, who managed to assemble a coherent, mildly enjoyable movie from Zack Snyder's lumbering monstrosity. Whatever problems his “Justice League” had, they can't be fixed by doubling the movie's length, adding more gore, and making it suffocatingly dour and joyless. All sense of pacing is abandoned as endless exposition dumps, digressive introductions, or visions are inflicted on us. The incoherent teases for sequels that will never be feel painfully self-indulgent. And somehow the Flash is more annoying here than before. 

136. False Positive

An astonishing waste of time for everyone involved, the viewer most of all. From early on, it's apparent that the protagonist is hallucinating and that none of the freaky stuff that happens will matter at all. The best parts of this are ripped off from “Rosemary's Baby,” in an attempt to build up a mess of thematic ideas that manage to be offensive to women and men, plus a homophobic nightmare sequence for no reason at all. It all piles up to make an experience that is trite, deeply tedious, and completely annoying.

137. The Widow

Good to know the Russians can make a mediocre, generic horror movie just as easily as the Americans can. “The Widow” is heavy on characters – so generic they might as well not have names – wandering around the woods and shouting. Along with obnoxiously loud sound effects, convoluted magical rules, and inexplicable attempts at random spooky events. It's also boldly derivative of “The Blair Witch Project,” to the point that I can hardly believe the movie isn't done in the found footage style. (Though the presentation is so dull, I kind of wish it was.)

138. The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

All the “Conjuring” movies are varying degrees of loud and stupid and this is among the loudest and stupidest. A number of desperate attempts to wring scares out of the material are employed: wild abuse of creaky contortionist horror, a big fat naked corpse, goofy demons that clatter out of the darkness, and, of course, countless jump scares and CGI tomfoolery. The “true” story is actually completely sidelined in favor of a ridiculous plot involving curses by an evil witch. Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga must be great actors, because they keep a straight face when spouting off this dumb-ass bullshit and even manage to make Ed and Lorraine's relationship kind of sweet. 

HALF A STAR:

139. Space Jam: A New Legacy

So extraordinarily ugly, with so many clashing colors and moving characters on-screen, so much intrusive stuff shoved right into your face, that I developed a headache instantly. Not a single one of the Loony Tunes does anything funny, which is not surprising as the film doesn't understand the Loony Tunes. The movie isn't even about them, as LeBron James (predictably, not a good actor) and his father/son dilemma is actually the main plot of the film. The jokes are so painfully lame, I'm not even sure if they are supposed to be jokes. You've already read about how this is one long commercial for Warner Bros.' I.P. library and it's absolutely true. Everything about this is trite, soulless, and hideous, an intensely unpleasant and boundlessly cynical act of corporate synergy. 

RECENT WATCHES: Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

Ya know, I love “Ghostbusters.” I grew up with the cartoons and toys. I have nostalgia for Ecto Cooler and all that. But it says a lot about how fucking weird things have gotten that a harmless blockbuster from the eighties would become a center point of the Culture Wars. That a fan backlash to a comedy reboot would be a foundational part of a sexist, racist political faction. Whatever you thought of that 2016 movie – I thought it was okay –  it didn't make the kind of money Sony was hoping for. Back to the drawing board they went, deciding to capitalize on another recent trend in I.P. expansion: Decades later sequels. “Ghostbusters: Afterlife” positioned itself as a “real” “Ghostbusters” movie, so determined to show fidelity to the original that it's directed by Ivan Reitman's son. This has also been a controversial decision, as some have complained that this was Sony bending the knees to the horrible fanboys. All of this overlooks a pretty crucial question: Is “Ghostbusters: Afterlife” even any good?

Callie receives news that her father, Dr. Egon Spengler, has died. She has been willed a crumbling farm house in Summerville, Oklahoma. She moves with her two kids, rebellious teenager Trevor and brilliant pre-teen Phoebe, to the middle of nowhere. There, Phoebe discovers that her grandfather was a Ghostbuster. Led by Egon's spirit, she uncovers a basement full of equipment. With help from a podcast obsessed classmate and her teacher, a Ghostbusters fan himself, Phoebe also finds something more frightening: That Ivo Shandor, the occultist who nearly summoned Gozer back in 1984, operated out of this town. That the machinations he set into motion are preparing to bring the evil god into our world again. 

Due to movie studios relying on it so heavily to help sell big budget tentpole releases, like this, film fans have endlessly debated the merits of nostalgia. And it's true that, sometimes, filmmakers rely on knowing nods and callbacks to older, beloved properties to smooth over any flaws with their actual movie. “Ghostbusters: Afterlife” is awash with nostalgia. The film is a direct sequel to the original “Ghostbusters” and revisits many of its ideas. Beloved creations like the Terror Dog, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, and the Cab Driver Zombie return in one form or another. The climax patterns itself directly after the original's conclusion, in many ways. Even Elmer Bernstein's score is quoted extensively. “Afterlife” frequently goes out of of its way to remind viewers of the older movie, to reassure us that it was made by people obsessed with “Ghostbusters.” It feels a little desperate at times, especially when the movie is recalling the Keymaster/Gatekeeper plot point from the original.

Yet, at other times, “Afterlife” does put some clever spins on the older ideas it's utilizing. If it's determined to revisits so many beloved pieces of “Ghostbusters” history, it at least occasionally does something kind of different with them. Stay Puft returns via an army of miniature doppelgangers, who are all driven to commit suicide in dessert mimicking ways. Which almost leads like a critique of the babyification of various characters, if the little Marshmallow Men weren't so marketable. A chase sequence through the town involving the classic Ecto-1 and Muncher – seemingly the stand-in for Slimer, who is strangely absent – has a few neat gags. Like a ghost trap being installed on a remote control car. Or a gunner seat being installed in the vehicle. As much as “Ghostbusters: Afterlife” goes out of its way to say “Hey, remember this thing?,” it does have some fun with these old toys. It expands on the mythology of the first film in some interesting ways. 

“Ghostbusters: Afterlife” is also a rare example of a son directing a sequel to his father's film. Jason Reitman – one of his earliest credits is as a kid in “Ghostbusters II” – at least had already established himself as a successful director before this point, so it's slightly less nepotistic than it looks. Part of “Afterlife” involves Callie dealing with her resentment towards her father, who was emotionally distant. When a son directs a sequel to his dad's movie, that involves a crucial hug between an alienated child and their remote father, one can't help but assume the filmmaker put some of himself into the material. I don't know, maybe Jason has a great relationship with his dad. Either way, the lingering daddy issues in the air does give “Afterlife” a far more bittersweet tone than the previous entries in the franchise. 

In fact, when the earliest trailers for “Ghostbusters: Afterlife” came out, some people noticed the overly reverent tone. This was certainly sold as a “Ghostbusters” movie that had no jokes in it. Well, I am happy to say that “Afterlife” does have jokes in it. A lot of these laughs are owed to the cast. Paul Rudd was such a natural pick for a “Ghostbusters” sequel, because he has that similar vibe to Bill Murray. Where he's so relaxed, so funny in an off-handed way. He makes gags, like getting a classroom full of kids to watch “Cujo,” that would probably be clunkers in anyone else's hands, and turns them into highlights. Logan Kim also gets a surprisingly high number of laughs as Podcast. His gimmick, of always recording everything and narrating in a hyper-dramatic way, probably should've been annoying but it's a surprisingly versatile joke that continuously produced laughs. 

Among the next generation of Ghostbusters in this film, the biggest star is Finn Wolfhard as Trevor, Egon's teenage grandson. And I still don't know if Wolfhard is actually a good actor or not, as the teenage petulance he displays here is a little too accurate. Luckily, Grace McKenna, as his little sister, makes up for it. She's the real protagonist of the movie anyway. She's regularly funny but, more importantly, is incredibly charming all throughout. Phoebe is an inquisitive, brilliant young lady but McKenna manages to make sure these attributes never come off as overly precocious or annoying. I think she's going to become a big star.

Whatever your opinion on nostalgia poisoned cash grabs like this, they can usually be counted on for one thing: A fidelity to the special effects legacy of the original. Oh, sure, there's a lot of CGI in “Ghostbusters: Afterlife.” Yet the movie makes plentiful use of practical creature effects and animatronics, especially in the sequences involving the Terror Dogs. That was refreshing to see. Even when CGI is utilized, effort was taken to replicate the look and feel of the photography effects in the original. Muncher frequently moves in a slightly stiff way, which seems designed to recall similar moments from the original. If sequels must be made “for the real fans,” at least extra care is taken to ensure they look better than a lot of other big budget would-be blockbuster. 

“Ghostbusters: Afterlife” certainly didn't generate the maelstrom of angry screaming and cultural conversation that Paul Feig's reboot did. Most of the controversy that greeted the film dealt with the on-going debate around digital necromancy in modern films. A lot of people dismissed the entire sequel. Some fans did, indeed, really like it. It did decently at the box office and it remains to be seen whether Sony will continue down this path or reboot the franchise again in a few years. I can't say “Ghostbusters: Afterlife” is the generation defining comedy classic that the original was. I don't think you can catch that lightning in a bottle again. Yet it's a decent little follow-up, too beholden to the original but with enough charm of its own to justify its own existence. Bustin' makes me feel, eh, pretty good, I guess. [7/10]