Last of the Monster Kids

Last of the Monster Kids
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Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Halloween 2020: October 21st



The other day, I was asked if I preferred zombie movies or vampire movies. Though I don't consider myself especially fond of the bloodsucker genre, I had to answer “Vampires.” The truth is, I'm pretty sick of zombies and have been for quite some time. Vampires are more versatile. A vampire movie can be about almost anything. The majority of zombie movies, however, are survival situations. Despite the fact that I'm pretty burnt out on undead flesh-eaters, new takes still arrive with some frequency. This year, “Blood Quantum” appeared on Shudder to considerable critical praise, supposedly offering a fresh reinterpretation of the zombie movie. 

The time is the early 1980s and the place is the Red Crow Indian Reservation in Northern Quebec. The Sheriff on the Reservation, Traylor, notices some strange things happening: Like dead animals seemingly returning to life. This is the day the dead rise and begin to kill and eat the living.. Six months after the zombie uprising begins, the Reservation has become a barricaded fortress. People with indigenous blood are, for mysterious reasons, immune to the virus. Traylor and his father, Gisigu, try to main a peaceful balance. His youngest son, Joss, is fearful for his pregnant, Caucasian girlfriend. Traylor oldest son, Lysol, is more hostile to the white survivors that come to their walls every day. He soon betrays the Reservation and lets the undead inside the walls.

“Blood Quantum” has an interesting approach to the zombie apocalypse scenario. It seems to center in on the most interesting parts of the premise. We see the apocalyptic first day of the outbreak and then leap ahead to the new status quo, where undead hordes are just a fact of life. We skip over the tedious breakdown of society, the bickering survivors, the readjustment. Truthfully, as much as I admire this approach, “Blood Quantum” never tops those opening minutes. A gutted salmon leaping back to life is a hell of an image to open on. The panic of that opening is well-trod territory but it works. None of the zombie theatrics that follow – save for a clever gag involving a wood chipper – tops that intensity. There's plumes of blood, chopped-off heads, gory disembowlings, and a severed penis but the zombies themselves are never all that scary again. They are just your typical running, bleeding, screaming zombies, the type of undead that make me miss the classical shamblers of Romero's days.

What's most frustrating about “Blood Quantum” is that it has a lot of really cool ideas but frequently stops just short of fully utilizing them. Near the end, Gisigu makes a last stand, wielding a katana against an on-coming wave of “zeds.” A tribal war song blares on the soundtrack. We get the very start of what should've been an amazing action sequence but then the film cuts away. Clever gore gags, like a zombie dangling upside down by its intestines, happen in the margins of the scene. The film frequently sidelines its most interesting characters, Traylor and his bad-ass dad, in  favor of the milquetoast Joss. When an interesting new survivor, named Lilith, is introduced, she's immediately zombified by her next scene. A lot of “Blood Quantum” is like that, touching upon exciting concepts before diverting its attention elsewhere.

What truly distinguishes “Blood Quantum” from a hundred other zombie movies is its unique perspective. The view-points of Indigenous people are still overlooked in our culture. Basing a well-worn horror premise around this group is truly groundbreaking. “Blood Quantum's” social/political perspective is clear. Indigenous communities have been marginalized since Europeans arrived in America. Now, their immunity to the zombie plague makes them the privileged people. While Traylor only wants what's best for his people, Lysol actively desires revenge on the white man. He rounds up a group of Caucasians in a church and plans to turn the zombies loose on them. “Blood Quantum” clearly presents this as bad without minimizing the anger Lysol feels. Yet even this interesting angle is sometimes downplayed in favor of Joss' subplot, about whether his baby-mama will be okay. 

“Blood Quantum” is also sometimes badly hampered by a desire to be edgy. Animated inserts add nothing to the film. Bursts of extreme gore, like a munched-on fetus or the aforementioned castration, feel self-consciously in-your-face. As do “cool” touches, such as the white mask we see on the poster or a few shout-outs to Tarantino. “Blood Quantum” does prove there's still some blood left in the zombie movie, that there are still new angles and ideas to exploit here. At the same time, the film is frustrating. The cast is strong, the effects are good, new ideas are present, and the intensity is there. Yet writer/director Jeff Barnaby feels pulled between wanting to do something new and respecting the expectations of the genre. I'm forced to give “Blood Quantum” one of my less enthusiastic [7/10] ratings. 




In addition to collecting DVDs, Blu-Rays, and movie-related action figures, I also collect movie posters. Truthfully, original theatrical one-sheets may be the most addictive of all. Once you buy one, it's very easy to start buying more. I think of them as little art pieces and now officially have more posters than I do wall space to display them. At times, I'll often find myself buying a poster just because I love the way it looks, even if I don't like the film or have never even seen it. Take, for example, “Eyes of Laura Mars.” Though I'm aware of the movie, especially in reference to it being an early screenwriting credit for John Carpenter, I've never watched it. But I own the poster, because it's fucking cool looking. This October, I decided to see if the movie matched up to that artwork.

Laura Mars is a wildly successful fashion photographer, though the way her work combines sex appeal and violence has made her controversial. While preparing her new book of photos, she begins to have psychic flashes of violent crimes. As if she's looking through the eyes of the killer as they strike. More concerning, the murders are actually happening... And it's Laura's friends and professional colleagues being targeted. Police lieutenant John Neville is designated with protecting her. The two end up falling in love. Even this does not keep Laura from fearing that her life is in danger, that the killer is closing in on her with every vision she has.

“Eyes of Laura Mars” was intended as a vehicle for Barbara Streisand, who ultimately found the project too lurid to star in. (She did contribute the theme song, which is hilariously overwrought but kind of pretty.) Instead, the film stars Faye Dunaway, in the period between her Oscar win for “Network” and “Mommy Dearest” destroying her career. Dunaway is talented but she gives into all her worst impulses here. The character seemingly has no inner life, as we never learn why she's attracted to these violent images. This forces Dunaway to pretend depth by starring off into space. When asked to panic, Dunaway goes to histrionic heights. Worst yet is the romantic subplot. Mars and Neville fall in love over the course of one scene and spend the rest of the movie professing their affection for one another. Yet there's no chemistry between Dunaway and Tommy Lee Jones – a weird choice for a romantic lead – and no reason for these two characters to fall in love. The romance feels like a plot point where told about, that's not actually depicted. 

“Eyes of Laura Mars” is a movie about New York City in the seventies, made in New York City in the seventies. Which lends it a certain charm. The smoky streets, crowded traffic, and dingy back-allies all add an appealing atmosphere of sleaze to the proceedings. The multiple scenes devoted to models preparing for photo-shoots, while disco music plays, further emphasize the time and place. The sweaty, potentially coked-up supporting performances from Brad Dourif, René Auberjonoi, and Raúl Juliá – as a Brooklyn cab driver/ex-con, a flamboyant homosexual, and Mars' alcoholic ex-husband – certainly aid this particular atmosphere. But I wanted more. “Eyes of Laura Mars” comes close to satisfying that itch for grindhouse sleaze but is also held back by a prudish attitude. The movie is too classy to be trash but too trashy to be class.

As a horror film, “Eyes of Laura Mars” also leaves a lot to be desired. The movie is often credited as an American giallo and it has a lot of those elements. The glamorous victims, the first-person shots from the killer's perspective, and the murder mystery angle all fit the genre. Yet the film even fails to satisfy in that regard. “Eyes of Laura Mars” is shockingly bloodless for a movie about a serial killer who cuts women's eyes out. The stalking and stabbing scenes come close to creating some tension. However, they are all seen through Laura's eyes. The audience is almost never “there” when the murders happen, going a long way towards draining suspense. The film was directed in Irvin Kershner, who mostly made crowd-pleasing adventures or dramas. Which might explain why “Eyes” is so reluctant to commit to the slaughter. (Though rumor has it this is the movie that convinced George Lucas that Kershner was the man for “The Empire Strikes Back.”)

In its first half, “Eyes of Laura Mars” focuses a lot on the violent element of Mars' photos. While the film is certainly trying to say something about voyeurism and pop culture's obsession with killing beautiful things, Mars' utterly passive role keeps a coherent point from forming. The bullshit plot twist that reveals the killer also robs the movie of any deeper meaning. John Carpenter would later state that his script was “shat upon.” Aside from the P.O.V. shots of the killer, there's nothing much linking this to Carpenter's style. “Eyes of Laura Mars” needed to commit to its themes of violence-in-the-media or needed to totally abandon substance in favor of cheap thrills. Instead, the movie indecisively floats between both axis, satisfying no one. A shrieking lead performance and unconvincing love story further marks this one as a dud. But the poster is still really cool. Nobody can take that away from it. [5/10]



The Twilight Zone (2002): The Placebo Effect

"The Twilight Zone" has been rebooted three times but you'll be forgiven for not realizing that. The eighties version attracted a cult-following, largely thanks to the impressive list of directors that worked on. The latest iteration received a much-hyped premiere last year, further elevated by the presence of superstar filmmaker Jordan Peele. The 2002 "Zone," meanwhile, came and went without much attention. It aired on UPN – hardly the most popular network – for 22 hour installments, each composed of two half-hour segments. Forest Whittaker was drafted as host, a truly random choice. It had an obnoxious nu-metal version of the theme song. I watched it for a while as a teen but was soon driven off by the mediocre writing. Save for a few episodes remaking or sequelizing installments from the original, 2002's "The Twilight Zone" is almost totally forgotten

I, however, enjoy being thorough so I knew I had to include an episode. And most pointed towards "The Placebo Effect" as being one of the few notable episodes from this "Zone." The installment revolves around hypochondriac Harry Radditch. He arrives at a clinic absolutely terrified, where his very patient doctor, Dr. Coburn, is prepared to humor him. But, this time, something is actually wrong with Harry. He's bleeding from his eyes and his body is covered with large sores. He soon confides that the disease is one he read about in a sci-fi novel, a fictional virus, that he's somehow caught. Despite the insanity of that, the deadly pandemic quickly begins to spread. How is Dr. Coburn expected to treat a sickness that doesn't even exist?

The reason "The Placebo Effect" was recommended to me is its star. Jeffrey Combs plays Radditch. Combs, as he displayed in "The Frighteners" and his other films, is exceptionally good at playing high-strung, panicking paranoics. Combs' unhinged hypochondriac act is, indeed, highly entertaining. The unfailingly negative attitude Radditch takes to everything makes him a good foil to Sydney Tamiia Poitier's upbeat Dr. Cohen. The details of the fictional super-bug – I just can't escape pandemic narratives this year, can I? – are suitably grisly. The idea behind this segment, that someone can believe something so totally that they make it real, is interesting but unexplored. What I most remember about this version of "The Twilight Zone" is that almost every episode had a shitty twist ending. "The Placebo Effect" is no different. You see it coming a mile away. However, this half-hour is mildly entertaining mostly thanks to Combs' gloriously sweaty performance. [6/10]




For two years, the Dissolve was home to some of the best film writing on the Internet. Now, insightful film websites like Bright Wall/Dark Room and Little White Lies survive on a subscription model but, in 2015, the Dissolve was forced to sustain itself on meager advertising revenue. The spirit of the Dissolve lives on through a wonderful Facebook community but I still find myself re-reading columns from the original site. One reoccurring feature was Short Cuts, devoted to highlighting short films from across the Internet. During October, Short Cuts naturally focused on horror. This October, I decided to catch up with some of the shorts recommended by that feature.

“Run” comes from British filmmaker Mat Johns. It follows Simon, an American drifter in the U.K. He mentally dictates a letter to his Mom while the audience sees his transitory existence. He meets a nice college couple, who invite him back to their flat to spend the night. As “Run” goes on, we learn more about why Simon is on the run. He has a very gruesome hobby, which Johns brutally depicts while cutting back to the pleasant evening with his new friends Simon had the night before.

“Run” lures you in with a gentle opening. The music is peaceful and remains calm throughout. Simon’s narration is quiet, Joseph Stacey’s voice sticking to a nostalgic, recollective tone. The early scenes focus on autumn leaves and pleasant chit-chat between new friends. Slowly, the film reveals its protagonist’s evil intentions. “Run” gets surprisingly depraved as it goes on yet maintains that quiet atmosphere, making for an unnerving contrast. The letter-to-mom format presents a new angle to the serial killer premise, reminding us that even murderers have loved ones. The six-minute long short asks us to consider two things: Never to trust strangers and to consider the extent parents will go to protect their children, even when other people need protection from them. [7/10]


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