Director Report Card: Anne Boden and Ryan Fleck (2019)

5. Captain Marvel

With the Marvel Cinematic Universe being the biggest pop cultural force of the last decade, every aspect of the universe has been discussed and analyzed. Especially criticized was the lack of diversity in the films, both in front of and behind the camera. Of the first twenty MCU films, eighteen were directed by white men. Of that number, exactly none of them top-billed a woman. That would change with “Captain Marvel.” Ryan Fleck and Anne Boden would be the latest directors plucked out of the world of independent film to helm a massive, superhero blockbuster. This gamble would pay off, as “Captain Marvel” would become another billion dollar grossing success for Marvel, though not without some controversy.

The film begins with Vers, an amnesic human woman with powerful plasma producing abilities, living on the alien home world of the Kree empire. She was drafted some time ago into the Kree a war against a shape-shifting race known as the Skrulls. Vers is captured by the Skrull, who probe her fractured memories. They are seeking a light-speed engine and Vers' memories might be the key to that. She escapes to Earth, in the mid-1990s. Both alien federations are pursuing her. Soon, the woman known as Carol Danvers is teaming up with an American secret agent named Nick Fury to rediscovers her past, her old family, and learn the truth about the Kree.

Carol Danvers is a character that has floated around Marvel comics since the sixties, passing through at least four superhero personas, her origins growing more convoluted and bizarre. (Until her re-branding as Captain Marvel, and subsequent new series, she wasn't even that popular.) Boden and Fleck's script – which they co-wrote with Geneva Robertson-Dworet and probably the MCU writer's room – smartly dispenses with most of that. Instead, they not-so-subtly rework Danver's origin story into a metaphor for gas-lighting. Unlike most superhero character arcs, where a hero learns more abilities as the film goes on, Carol is as powerful at the beginning of “Captain Marvel” as she is at the end. She is surrounded by men who tell her not to use her abilities, not to listen to her emotions. It's all part of a grander web of manipulation, spearheaded by a man that claims to have her best interest at heart but is only interested in controlling her. Obviously, this is a story that resonated with a lot of women and is certainly a clever take on a by-now routine story arc.

When it comes to superhero comics, I've always had a hard time getting into the cosmic stuff. I like far-out ideas and crazy aliens but the intergalactic politics have always made me yawn. “Captain Marvel's” first act is knee-deep in this stuff. The movie drops us right into Kree culture – some of whom look totally human, some with blue skin – from the first scene. It then leaps into the Kree/Skrull war from there, bounding through spy missions, shoot-outs, and Carol's capture. The script never expounds on Kree culture in any meaningful way. The most we see of their home world is a city scape and a space-train. The conflict with the Skrull is set-up via awkward exposition. Before we even have a chance to care about her, we are already following Carol on a daring escape.

It's a sluggish start. Once Carol reaches Earth, “Captain Marvel” picks up considerably speed. The decision to make the film a nineties period piece – aside from freeing the movie up from the rest of the Cinematic Universe continuity – adds a charm that differentiates it from other superhero flicks. The filmmakers dot the proceedings with easy nostalgic signifiers. Blockbuster Video and beepers are minor plot points, Radio Shack puts in a cameo appearance, and every single needle-drop is way too on the nose. Yet it worked one hundred percent on me. As a misbegotten nineties kid, these touches tickled me just right. Moreover, “Captain Marvel” catches that hard-to-define nineties quality. The chase scenes, flat desert landscapes, and government conspiracies within the film all seem abreast with the movies made around 1996.

Carrying us through both of the film's wildly different settings is Brie Larson. After her Oscar win for “Room,” Larson was pretty much immediately presumed to get the part of Carol Danvers. Certain qualities of Larson's are well suited tot he part. She has a wry smile that makes every smarmy one-liner soar. She also captures the character's determination – visualized during a montage that shows her standing up after getting knocked down throughout her life – and righteous angry. However, Larson lacks a certain ability to be an action hero. She has no physical poise during the fight scenes, her body language always being slightly stiff and off-putting. Anytime she has to ball her fists and shoot some laser beams from her hands, it always looks a little goofy.

Some of this fault doesn't lie with Larson. Fleck and Boden have never directed an action movie before that's pretty evident. The early fight scenes have the directors returning tot he shaky visual style they showed in their earliest films. While never incoherent, this approach does make a chase across a subway train or the fight between the Kree and the Skrulls on a grey alien world awfully uninteresting to watch. (They even throw in one of those rough, handheld zooms, though they were presumably created digitally.) In the second half, the action scenes begin to depend entirely on CGI visuals. Marvel movies usually bring a degree of flair to their CGI slug-fests but a scene of Carol tearing through Kree battleships with ease lack even that. It feels like zeros-and-ones in a way that's not as charming as Marvel's other computer-generated climaxes. Maybe it's just because Carol faces off with a collection of random ships, instead of a proper supervillain.

Ultimately, “Captain Marvel” works best when its a buddy movie between Brie Larson and Samuel L. Jackson. Since this is a younger, less experienced Fury, Jackson – digitally youthened in a seamless manner –gets to play a snarkier and more upbeat spymaster. The two interact in an effortlessly charming way. Jackson's stone walling proves an ideal deflection to Larson's smirk and sarcasm. A conversation in a road side bar, while toiling in a waiting room, or escaping the bad guys in a records vault all produce laughs and smiles. The two are great together and that charm keeps the entire movie afloat.

While I'm hardly one to believe that comic book movies should display utmost fidelity to the source material, “Captain Marvel” does make a somewhat questionable change to long-established Marvel lore. In the comics, the shape-shifting Skrulls are undeniably bad guys. In fact, they are among of the comic universe's most devious foes. “Captain Marvel” brings the Skrull to the screen with one huge difference: The Skrulls aren't so bad. Instead, they are victims of the Kree, innocents without a home world fleeing extermination across the galaxy. Much like “Iron Man 3's” Mandarin twist, this is a massive upheaval of comic nerd expectations that is a bit too clever for its own good. In the books, the Skrulls are bad and the Kree suck too. In the movie, the Skrulls are innocent victims and the Kree operate an amoral war machine. Would more complexity have been too much to ask?

Then again, Fleck and Boden's politics have never been subtle or cooked into their movies in a smooth fashion. This isn't “Half Nelson,” where characters directly explain philosophy details into the camera. However, in addition to its dissertation on gas lighting, “Captain Marvel” is also a story of refugees fleeing persecution only to be hounded in a new location. Though clearly written long before our current immigration crisis, it seems like “Captain Marvel” is reflecting our world as it is now. The Kree are an America-like empire, spreading violence across the galaxy in the pursuit of resources. The Skrull are persecuted everywhere they go. It's easy to see where this is coming from. The film also heavily codes Carol Danvers and Maria Rambeau, her fighter pilot BFF, as possible lovers, if you needed anymore proof of the film's progressive politics. Overbearing, maybe, but it's better than the wishy washy, pseudo-Randian philosophy of the “Iron Man” series.

Setting the movie a decade before most of the rest of Marvel's cinematic output keeps “Captain Marvel” from being too bogged down by continuity. However, the film still has to include shout-outs to the wider MCU. Whether this is done organically or not is a matter of debate. “The Avenger's” Tesseract, one of those dang Infinity Stones, has a role in the story that could've been filled by any plot device. (Trying to mentally keep track of where all the Stones were over the decades proves distracting.) A young Philip Coulson has a bit part, showing his strong character even if his role could've been filled by anyone. Ronan the Accuers and Korath the Persuer re-appear, before their canonical deaths. Honestly, most of these call-backs amount to simple in-jokes. Such as the fate of Fury's eye or the way Carol contributes to the Avengers' team name.

The movie's sense of humor and the strong interaction between its cast members, its best qualities, carry all throughout its supporting cast. Ben Mendelsohn, returning from “Mississippi Grind,” appears as Talos, leader of the Skrulls. Mendelsohn could've just played another calculating villain. Instead, he makes Talos a comedic straight man with an amusingly matter-of-fact way of speaking. (A highlight is a conversation about the limits of Skrull shape-shifting.) The banter Larson has with Lashana Lynch as Maria Rambeau is sharp-witted while her relationship with Rambeau's daughter is especially adorable. Annette Benning is probably way overqualified for her role but her ability to cast a slightly edgy warmth couldn't be better utilized. Of course, among the film's best supporting cast member is Goose the Cat, a lovable feline who hides a laugh-out-loud secret.

The Marvel brand name is implicitly trusted by the general public now. Even if Joe Moviegoer didn't know Captain Marvel from that other Captain Marvel, the Marvel Studios logo guaranteed this would be a money-maker. The obvious outcry for action/adventure stories driven by women would further boost “Captain Marvel” into that upper echelon of box office money-makers. This being 2019, an incredibly stupid controversy had to follow, in which he-man woman haters objected to a rather innocuous observation Larson made on the press tour. While superhero movies once again becoming a touchstone in the culture wars can only make me sigh, this “protest” did nothing to affect the film's popularity. While it ranks as mid-tier Marvel – due to pacing issues and some irksome changes to the lore – for me, “Captain Marvel” was pretty clearly a big deal for a lot of people and that has value too. [Grade: B]

As was the case with my Peyton Reed retrospective, Ryan Fleck and Anne Boden's next project hasn't technically been announced yet. But it's pretty easy to guess. One assumes that the team is had at work on a sequel to “Captain Marvel,” which the highly secretive Marvel just hasn't officially announced yet. Your superhero franchise film doesn't make a billion dollars and not spawn a sequel.

Watching Anne Boden and Ryan Fleck go from tiny indie filmmakers to big budget directional superstars sure has been interesting. It's not a path I would've guessed if I saw “Half Nelson” back when it was new. It is interesting that many of their stylistic quirks and writing interests have been maintained throughout their entire career. I'll admit, aside from their cape movie, these guys don't really tell the kind of stories that get me passionate. My heart wasn't entirely in this Director Report Card. At the same time, most of their films are pretty good too. I am interested to see where they take Carol Danvers next, and where their careers advance after having such a success on their resumes.

Director Report Card: Anne Boden and Ryan Fleck (2014)

4. Mississippi Grind

When it comes to modern film fandom, no studio is more respected than A24. The distribution company has brought some of the most beloved indie dramas of the last few years to the masses. Considering their statuses as respected indie auteurs, it was probably inevitable that Ryan Fleck and Anne Boden would team-up with A24. After their brush with the mainstream, the duo would try their hand at a buddy comedy of sorts. However, “Mississippi Grind” would not be one of the break-through A24 movies. Instead, it became one of the films that went straight-to-Direct TV, the movie going largely ignored by everyone but the hardcore movie nerds. (Though it was well-received by those that did see it.)

Gerry likes to gamble, even though he's not very good at it. His addiction to cards, slots, the ponies, and games of chance led to the end of his marriage and an estrangement with his young daughter. One night, while out at a poker game, he meets another gambler named Curtis. Where Gerry is consistently downtrodden, Curtis is almost supernaturally lucky. The two become fast friends. The nomadic Curtis leaves town soon enough and Gerry – who is being pursued by loan sharks anyway – decides to follow him. The two travel down the Mississippi River, finding their opposing approach to gambling in conflict.

“Mississippi Grind” is apparently an extended homage to Robert Altman's “California Split,” a movie I've never seen. However, I have seen enough movies like it to get what Fleck and Boden were going for here. “Mississippi Grind” is clearly a throwback to an older style of moviemaking. It's a rambling sort of character study. There's a destination in mind but what's more important is how the two leads get to know each other, how their friendship evolves and how their personalities affect one another. It's a deliberately retro-feeling style, as even dramas are more focused on forward momentum than just hanging out these days.

With “It's Kind of a Funny Story,” Boden and Fleck told a more whimsical type of story, dealing with characters from a well-to-do world. With “Mississippi Grind,” the directors return to the kind of gritty intimacy that defined their first two features. Gerry inhabits a world of low-lives, screw-ups, drug addicts, and prostitutes. Many of the film's scenes take place in sleazy bars, poorly lit casinos, or partially empty dog tracks. This is not a movie about the glamorous world of high-stakes gambling. Instead, it' about the kind of real people – everyday thrill seekers and desperate folks – who actually hang out at your nearest casino or bar.

Despite its gritty settings, don't think “Mississippi Grind” is an overwhelmingly depressing film. In fact, it's pretty funny. This is primarily a buddy comedy. While driving to their destination, Curtis playfully picks at the gambling advice CD Gerry always has in his car player. Curtis is full of colorful stories, his lifetime of gambling adventures putting him in contact with all sorts of eccentric characters. This pays off fantastically when Gerry, badly in need of a pay day, tracks down one of the colorful figures Curtis talked about. Poor Gerry can't even get mugged correctly, as an attempted robbery has him non-seriously stabbed by an apathetic mugger.

Much like Dunne in “Half Nelson,” “Mississippi Grind” focuses in on a protagonist that keeps making mistakes. Gerry isn't a bad gambler, necessarily. While playing a poker game in a woman's den, he manages to win... Before he decides to keep going, loosing everything he won. This is not the only example. After a lucky win at the dog track, he insists on going for one more round, that screws both him and Curtis. Gerry isn't the kind of addict addicted to the thrill. Instead, he gambles because he can't help but feel that big win – that life-changing win – is just around the corner. That desire to reach that goal has him making desperate decisions, like stealing money from his wife or spending his last dollar on a slot machine.

Curtis doesn't have this problem. Curtis can walk into seemingly any situation and come out a winner. He can randomly choose a greyhound and have a winner. He can make a profit off a barroom game of darts or pool. He has a seemingly intuitive ability to always know what to do to win. Though their luck couldn't be more different, Gerry and Curtis quickly form a bond, both amazing at a recent rainbow. They laugh it up in a bar. Ultimately, Gerry and Curtis stand by each other, as seen when Curtis' VIP card is turned down at a hotel . Watching these two guys have a good time together is the primary joy of “Mississippi Grind” and certainly helps make its dreary settings bearable.

Anne Boden and Ryan Fleck's first two features both functioned as deconstructions of common subgenres. “Half Nelson” put a realistic spin on the inspirational teacher movie. “Sugar” riffed on the inspirational sports drama. “Mississippi Grind” is a road trip movie. Gerry and Curtis travel from Iowa down to New Orleans. Luckily, Boden and Fleck do not see fit to deconstruct the road movie. Granted, the guys don't see the iconic sights on their journey. Instead, they mostly hang out on a river boat or in cheesy bars and casinos. Yet the central premise of a subgenre – it's about the journey, not the destination – is maintained. And it all works out, because road movies are awesome and in no need fo a grim-dark reinvention.

Thankfully, there's something else “Mississippi Grind” isn't about. Though the characters are all gamblers and gambling motivates the entire story, this is thankfully not a movie about gambling. Much like how “Sugar” wasn't really a sports movie, the filmmakers simply use the dramatic tension inherent in the competition without bogging the viewer down in rules and strategy. That's good, as I understand the rules of gambling about as well as I understand sports. So we see Gerry and Curits play blackjack, poker, or craps, getting the general gist even if not the exact details  Wondering whether the winning hand will come up, if the dice will land correctly, is all we need to know.

The best moments throughout “Mississippi Grind” tend to be quieter moments of reflection. An absolute heart-breaking scene has Gerry bonding with a call-girl friend of Curtis. The two spend the night playing piano and talking about their lives. It's such a gentle moment, dripping with flirtatious energy – but more concerned with regrets – without anything as heavy as actual romance or sex. Later on, Curtis gets an equal moment of reflection when encountering his mom, a boozy singer in a bar, one of the rare times when he's put in his place. Ultimately, among the film's most important scene is when Curtis promises not to give up on Gerry, a sweet and bro-tastic scene that solidifies the friendship so central to the movie.

Ben Mendelsohn has made a decent career out of bringing his particularly dry and British wit to many undistinguished villain roles. Which makes seeing him as a fallible, lovable loser like Gerry a surprise. Mendelsohn acts as much with his body as his more-than-capable dry wit. It's even a plot point, as the film draws attention to his slouched posture early on. As much of a sad sack as Gerry is, there's also something unavoidably charming about him. He seems like he'd be fun to hang out with. For the most part, Mendelsohn is an utter delight as a guy with incredibly bad luck and an inability to learn from his mistakes.

Ryan Reynolds has ridden his gift for smarmy charm all the way to superhero superstardom. Before he became Deadpool as we know him, Reynolds played a more down-to-Earth smart-ass here. Yes, Curtis still has that Reynolds-esque tendency to say improbably clever dialogue. Yet it's in service of a more humane script. As much snarky dialogue as Reynolds gets to deliver, Curtis is still a fully formed character, a normal person with incredible luck and a unique outlook on life. This is a fantastic use of Reynolds' charm and a good look at why Hollywood made so many attempts at turning him into a genuine movie star before it really stuck. The guy has that quality, that ability to show an incredibly humanity while being hilarious and larger-than-life.

Boden and Fleck ditch the shaky-cam in favor of a less distracting style. They keep the tendency for on-the-nose soundtracks, this time powering the entire movie with a collection of (admittedly pretty great) classic blues songs. I think it's easily my favorite of the directing duo's films thus far. The movie proves more charming than “Half Nelson” and “Sugar,” while loosing none of the qualities that work in those movie's favor. (It's also way funnier than “It's Kind of a Funny Story.”) With two extremely likable lead performance and an ideally executed pacing, “Mississippi Grind” is an underseen gem absolutely worth seeking out. [Grade: B+]

Director Report Card: Anne Boden and Ryan Fleck (2010)

3. It's Kind of a Funny Story

It's a common path in Hollywood now. A first-time director rises out of nowhere with a rapturously received independent film. It rides a wave of hype, buzz, and positive reviews to some degree of mainstream award recognition. After this breakthrough, the director is suddenly fighting off offers from big studios and usually handle a prominent project of some sort. (Increasingly, it's a superhero movie but we'll get to that later...) After swinging back even further to their indie roots with “Sugar,” Anne Boden and Ryan Fleck would have their studio breakthrough with their third feature. “It's Kind of a Funny Story” was still technically an indie project, though it was based off a successful novel and distributed by a major studio, still qualifying as the directing duo's most high-profile project to this point.

Craig Gilner is sixteen years old and under a lot of stress. His dad is pressuring him to get into a prodigious school and he hasn't even started studying yet. His crush and his best friend are dating, actively flirting around him all the time. Among this mounting anxiety, Craig has started contemplating killing himself. Frightened by his own thoughts, he checks himself into a mental hospital. The terms of admittance says he has to stay throughout the week, even if Craig is immediately ready to change his mind. Over the next five days, he makes new friends and realizes some things about himself.

In the world of independent movies, there's a certain “type” movie fans can immediately recognize. They are comedy, frequently coming-of-age stories. They have a medium sized cast with lots of flashy supporting roles, revolving around a young protagonist trying to come out of his or her shell. These supporting characters are often excessively quirky, bringing lots of eccentric dialogue and wacky events with them. I call these the “indie quirk-fests.” They get scooped up by the studios from film festivals all the time, because occasionally a “Juno” or a “Little Miss Sunshine” will break through and become a big hit. Let me tell you, “It's Kind of a Funny Story” is one-hundred percent typical of this strain of cinema.

Yes, “It's Kind of a Funny Story” features a socially awkward teen hero, a manic pixie dream girl that changes his life forever, and a well-known comedian in a wise if highly eccentric mentor role. Yet this kind of story is told in the world of mental health. Our hero is deeply anxious, struggling with suicidal feelings and feelings of inadequacy. His hero has tried to kill himself multiple times before. The wacky comic relief characters in the background are suffering from serious mental maladies. Is it just me or is setting such a typical quirky comedy story in this kind of setting... Sort of trivializing mental illness? I'm sure Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck wouldn't see it that way. But as someone who has struggled with anxiety, depression, OCD, and intrusive thoughts, I really don't appreciate the portrayals here.

Having said all that, Craig is not the worst protagonist I've seen in movies like this. The kid isn't annoying. In fact, I even found myself relating to him a few times. Much like Miguel Soto in “Sugar,” Craig is something of a perfectionist. He wants to please his parents but, mostly, he will be disappointed in himself he can't get into this nice school. Yet this desire to be the best goes hand-in-hand with a fear of failing spectacularly. That fear is so overwhelming that he never tries and his anxiety becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is a cycle of self-defeating perfectionism that I have gone through – still fight with, really – all the time. And “It's Kind of a Funny Story” earns points for depicting it fairly accurately.

If “It's Kind of a Funny Story” had simply focused on portraying this frantic mindset, I might have been a little more forgiving of it.(Even if it continues to play deeply sick people as figures of dehumanizingly quirky amusement... However, like so many indie quirk-fest, the film also has to be a love story. About entering the mental hospital, Craig means Noelle. The film hints at her backstory – we briefly see scars on her wrists – but we learn very little about her inner life. She is interested in Craig for loosely defined reasons, seemingly motivated to befriend him based on his kindness to another patient. And that's the basis of their entire relationship. You know why he falls in love with her. Craig's an awkward nerd and she's a hot girl paying attention to him. But why the hell does Noelle care about him? I might have an answer if the film bothered to develop her beyond the bare facts.

There are other moments that make me dislike “It's Kind of a Funny Story.” There's a few minor contrivances to the plot that bug me. If Noelle likes Craig for mystifying reasons, the audience is even more confused when his crush – improperly hot for what's suppose to be a normal teenage girl – throws herself at him. This proceeds another dramatic plot turn, where that attempted hook-up goes horribly wrong and Craig declares his love for this other girl, just when Noelle happens to be walking by. Oh, come on. I've got no patience for bullshit happenstance like that. It's not the only time the movie pulls something like this. Shoving the entire story into a week, forcing one epiphany after another to cross the cast, sure feels overly convenient.

To prove how cute, how overwhelmingly twee it is, “It's Kind of a Funny” story heads off on extended flights of fancy throughout its run time. The most gratuitous of these moments concerns Craig participating in music therapy. He gets talked into singing. Instead of showing him awkwardly mumbling his way through a song, what might've been a moment of honest exposure that strips away the bullshit, we get an elaborate fantasy sequence. We see Craig and his friends as glamorously rock stars belting out “Under Pressure.” This is far from the only time the film does this. Craig's voice over narration is often smarmy, often too cute for its own. His declaration of love with Noelle occurs before the city skyland turns into an animated postcard.

Occasionally, however, the film's digressions are mildly likable. During art therapy, Craig starts to draw maps. The film then leaps into that illustration, transitioning back through the past via a fly through an animated city. That was pretty cool shot. Occasionally, I do like some of Craig's extended fantasy spots. Such as one that sees him rising up through school and to the White House, with a stopover at MTV Cribs first. That follows a line of logic I can relate too. Generally speaking, these elements are too overdone, not genuine enough, for my taste.

“It's Kind of a Funny Story” is a lead role for Keir Gilchrist, a young actor that was best known for a lead role in “United States of Tara.” (I think the only other thing I've seen him in is “It Follows,” where he plays the kind of desperate best friend.) Gilchrist definitely doesn't overcome the limitations of a character like this. Craig's quirks still comprise most of his personality. However, Gilchrist goes a long way towards imbuing these wacky habits – the nervous patter, the extended fantasy sequences – with a deeper humanity. While most of the characters in the film are nothing but surface quirks, at least Craig comes to life as a more complex being. A lot of that is owed to Gilchrist, a somewhat bland but at least mildly interesting lead.

Gilchrist, of course, has no box office clout. The star attractions in the film were Zach Galifianakis, still running high off “The Hangover” movies at the time, and Emma Roberts, who Hollywood was still trying to make happen at the time. Galifianakis plays Bobby, the mentally ill mentor. Galifianakis' wackier touches as a comedy – which includes sneaking Craig out to play basketball here – have always had an undercurrent of sadness, of frailty, and that is put to good use here. Roberts, meanwhile, does have a certain likable energy about her. She brings an attitude to Noelle that makes the audience want to learn more about her, even if the script respond to that desire.

There's a number of other familiar faces in the cast. Craig's parents are played by Lauren Graham and Jim Gaffigan. It is disappointing that such familiar, likable presence are stuck in such minor roles. It's odd that Gaffigan, the very idea of a lovable oaf of a parent, is cast as a more strict father figure. Graham is cast too type as a warm and supportive mom, the film putting her in far too few scenes. Also wasted is Viola Davis as the doctor monitoring Craig's case. She's brought in to squint at Gilchrist a few times, deliver a line of wisdom, and then it's off to the next scene. I don't know why familiar faces and talented performers were shoved into nothing roles like this.

”It's Kind of a Funny Story” made some minor waves at the time of its release. Though not much of a box office success, the reviews were mildly positive. I was working in a video store when the film came out – meaning I saw it's trailer about a hundred times a day – and it proved to be a popular rental. Again, this was right after “The Hangover” came out and slapping Zach Galifianakis' face on something guaranteed a certain level of immediate success. As for the movie itself, it's not incompetent enough to be bad but I low-key dislike it, if that wasn't obvious. A topic like depression in teenagers deserve a less routine look than this. [Grade: C-]

Director Report Card: Joe Dante (2019)

20. Nightmare Cinema

As I've commented on many times before, the horror anthology genre has undergone a serious revival in the last decade. The millennial wave of horror omnibus films are largely defined by gathering together a collection of indie filmmakers with one or two hits under their belt. These films are so common now that the idea has lost its novelty. At first, I was ready to dismiss “Nightmare Cinema” as just 2019's edition of the indie horror anthology... Until I realized it was “Masters of Horror: The Movie.” While Mick Garris' Showtime series never lived up to its potential, it was still a cult favorite. Garris has made several attempts to revive the premise, with “Nightmare Cinema” being the latest example. Garris gathered together four of his friends and colleagues – including “Masters of Horror” veteran Joe Dante – for five spooky tales, this time with a movie theater acting as the framing device.

We begin with “The Thing in the Woods.” Directed by Alejandro Brugués, of “Juan of the Dead” fame, it begins as a standard slasher story. A young woman is being chased through the woods by a murderer in a welding mask. She encounters several friends, all of whom are brutally dispatched by the masked killer. However, it's soon revealed that not everything is as it seems. Earlier in the weekend, this gathering of sexy college students noticed a strange meteorite falling from the sky, an event that indirectly led up to the bloodshed. (

As horror fans, we've certainly seen countless riffs on the slasher genre. Vampires and zombies are probably the only archetype deconstructed more. “The Thing in the Woods” at least has a clever twist on the premise. The reveal that there's a science fiction variation on the premise here, that the murders might even be justified, is unexpected. Brugués' direction is energetic, the camera being attached to a spinning sledge hammer. While the gore is elaborate, involving blow torching and face bashing, it often looks a little rubbery. The highly photogenic cast is largely blanks, which might actually be intentional.

The second episode is Joe Dante's contribution. “Mirari” revolves around Anna, a soon-to-be-married young woman. Anna is deeply self-conscious about a facial scar from a car accident. Her fiance David recommends plastic surgeon Dr. Mirari, who supposedly did a great job on his mom's recent improvement. Mirari keeps recommending more and more procedures to Anna. The girl, her body bandaged up after surgery, is prevented from looking in a mirror or calling anyone. Soon, it becomes evident that David is forcing his bride-to-be into something she neither expects nor wants.

If the presence of a heavily bandaged face and a surreal clinic didn't make it obvious, Joe Dante is paying homage to “The Twilight Zone” here. In some ways, “Mirari” operates fairly tensely. It's obvious to the audience that something ominous is happening at the plastic surgery office quickly enough. Anna's increasingly desperate attempts to escape are stifled quickly enough, in a way that just confirms the sinister suspicions. The segment is visually well assembled. The dream sequences are appropriately surreal. Cool, nighttime blues are utilized throughout the segment's second half, creating an atmospheric feeling.

However, “Mirari” ultimately leaves the audience feeling uncomfortable for all the wrong reasons. Anna is ultimately a victim. She is being manipulated by her finance, who is pretty clearly a massive creepozoid. She is trapped in this hellish situation which only gets worst. Once the easily predicted twist ending arrives, her life is completely ruined. Yet the poor girl didn't actually do anythig wrong, besides love the wrong person. Why is the story punishing her so cruelly? That unnecessarily mean-spirited quality ultimately leaves the audience uncertain of how to feel about “Mirari.”

“Mashit” is directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, the madman behind “Versus,” “Godzilla: Final Wars,” and “The Midnight Meat Train.” (Garris always liked to invite an Asian filmmaker into “Masters of Horror” and Kitamura clearly fits that bill here.) The segment is set inside a Catholic school. A young student kills himself by leaping from the top of the building. The school girls begin to see disturbing visions and act strangely. Father Benedict and Sister Patricia, who are screwing, soon discover that the demon lord Mashit is behind these ghastly events. And that's when all Hell breaks loose.

Of all the filmmakers involved with “Nightmare Cinema,” Kitamura is the one whose stylistic touch is most evident. When a school girl is tossed head-over-heels in slow motion, there's no doubt about who directed this. The director's hyper-kinetic visual approach is widely seen all throughout the episode. There's quite a lot of spooky build-up in “Mashit,” involving the sudden appearance of a lava-skinned demon and the church setting being creepy. Kitamura eventually cuts loose wildly. “Mashit” quickly explodes into crazy action and wild gore as a sword-wielding priest battles a church full of demonically possessed school girls. A guitar-driven hard rock score from Aldo Shllaku powers this crazy action even further. Though clearly indebted to “Evil Dead 2” and “Night of the Demons,” Kitamura's contribution is highly entertaining.

The fourth installment is directed by David Slade, who previously made “Hard Candy” and “30 Days of Night.” (And, uh, one of the “Twilight” movies.) ”This Way to Egress” concerns Helen, who is stuck in a very unusual waiting room. Her two sons are there for an appointment which never seems to be coming. The people around her begin to look increasingly demonic. A black, mold-like substance is growing on all the surfaces. It soon becomes apparent that otherworldly forces are both operating around Helen and through her.

With ”This Way to Egress,” Slade wears his influences on its sleeve. A whispered-about and otherworldly conspiracy, an uncertain perception of reality, and the appearance of a bio-mechanical gun are clearly inspired by “Videodrome” and Cronenberg's work in general. The filthy industrial setting and black-and-white photography recall “Eraserhead.” Humans slowly morphing into inhuman creatures in a disturbing hospital setting is clearly taken from “Jacob's Ladder.” Slade combines these influences to create an unnerving, nightmarish tone... Which is good because, otherwise, “This Way to Egress” makes no sense at all. The characters are too thin to make this brief trip into surreal hell worthwhile for anything besides the creepy atmosphere.

“Nightmare Cinema” concludes with “Dead,” Mick Garris' latest directorial effort. Riley is a piano prodigy and his parents are very proud. After an impressive concert, the family car is hijacked. The mugger kills Riley's dad and shoots him. He flatlines on the operating table but is revived. This brush with death grants Riley the ability to see the spirits of the recently deceased. He's haunted by visions from the other side, wondering if his mom is also dead. Meanwhile, the killer who shot him once before sneaks into the hospital to finish the job he started.

Mick Garris has done a lot of work for television. At times, “Dead” feels a lot like pilot for a television series chopped down to fit into this anthology. It's the longest of “Nightmare Cinema's” segments. Its premise, of a teenager suddenly gaining the ability to see ghosts, could easily be the foundation for a TV show. Garris' script is often on the mawkish side. A character enters the film solely to be a source of exposition, just to exit suddenly. Faces appearing out of a white light to belch platitudes is, by far, the story's cheesiest touch. The climax is an awkward wrestling match with the bad guy. Having said that, I didn't totally hate “Dead” either. The hospital setting is sort of likably cozy. Not making the ghosts outright malevolent, so much as merely lost and scared, was a nice touch. Re-configuring “The Sixth Sense” into a detective show isn't the worst premise I've ever heard. It's a mildly entertaining

”Nightmare Cinema” is long for an anthology, running at two hours. Most of that runtime is devoted to the segments, leaving little room for a framing device. The scenes of Mickey Rourke, serving as our grim host in a theater that plays people visions of their deaths, aren't the most exciting anyway. Rumor has it that “Nightmare Cinema” was originally conceived as a TV show, meaning this really was supposed to be a new “Masters of Horror.” Maybe the next time Mick tries to resurrect this concept, it'll be as a streaming series. (“Nightmare Cinema” is streaming exclusively on Shudder, a likely home for such a hypothetical future project.) As a movie, it has enough decent or semi-decent segments to satisfy this not-to-discriminating horror fan, with Kitamura's tale being the highlight. [Grade: B-]

Director Report Card: Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck (2008)

2. Sugar

There sure are a lot of movies entitled “Sugar,” aren't there? When movie fans asked about the title, what are they referring to? Are they talking about the 2004 gay-themed drama? Perhaps they are discussing the 2013 indie drama about a traumatized, homeless teenager? Or maybe the micro-budget horror film from 2005, that seemingly only I remember, is the topic? There was even a movie with that title released this year, an autobiographical film from Ghanese singer KiDi. Not to mention quite a few shorts and documentary also carry that title. No, they are probably talking about the 2008 baseball drama, “Sugar,” as this is the only one directed by well-known writer/director duo Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck.

Miguel Santos, nicknamed “Sugar,” is a nineteen year old black man living in the Dominican Republic. His family is poor and his community is impoverished but his talent as a baseball pitcher might be his ticket to a better life. His ability to throw a ball soon catches the attention of local talent scouts. Santos heads off to an American training camp, where he's groomed for a position on a minor league team. Santos initially has success, playing well, sending money back home and partying in his downtime. However, he's soon struggling with the pressures of being a semi-pro athlete, with an injury, a more talented rival, and his growing sense of isolation as an immigrant.

With the Oscar-nominated “Half Nelson” on their resume, you'd think Ryan Fleck and Anna Boden – she is technically making her feature debut here, getting a co-director credit – would move onto a bigger budget project. Instead, the follow-up to their break-through is even more of an independent film. There are no known actors in the cast. Most of the dialogue is in Spanish. The budget had to have been minuscule. The beginning is set in the real streets of the Dominican Republic while even the later scenes take us to the gritty parts of New York or the humble communities of small town America. The film shows the director team being even more committed to their style and interest.

More than anything else, “Sugar” is the story of an immigrant coming to America. Like many fish-out-of-water stories, there is a degree of comedy here. Santo and his friends discover the amenities of American life – like cheap booze, pay-per-view porn, and French toast – soon enough. After graduating to the A-league, Miguel ends up staying with a conservative Christian family in the mid-west. Their daughter's friends attempt to teach him about foosball or meatloaf. There are sweet moments too, such as when a kindly waitress teaches Miguel about the different English phrases for cooking an egg. Or when he throws himself on the mercy of the patriarch he lives with.

“Sugar,” however, is about a little more than that. While in his home country, Miguel is repeatedly told what a great thing coming to America will be. He wants to take care of his family, who are very poor. However, he soon starts to feel lonely and home sick. It can be hard to find people who even speak his language. A telling scene has him buying an expensive suit in an American store, only to notice the tag says “Made in the Dominican Republic.” He sees very little of himself in the world around him, in the new people he meets. He experiences bigotry for the first time. “Sugar” shows how young men in poor countries are promised one thing by the American Dream, only to receive something very different instead.

Much how “Half Nelson” was something of a deconstruction of the “inspirational teacher” movie, “Sugar” is providing a grittier, more grounded look at the “inspirational sports drama.” The movie isn't set in the glitzy world of Major League baseball. Instead, it takes place in the training camps, the sausage factory of the sports world. Santo has raw talent but it's not enough to overcome the pressures of the job. Friendships are broken up by the demands of being traded from team to team. Rivalries are less bitter than they are practical, everyone competing for the same job. The underdog doesn't blow away the competition and get an uplifting victory. Instead, he drops out all together. “Sugar” shows a more realistic side of a poor man having his life changed by the sports world.

What I found most compelling about “Sugar” was the exact reason why Miguel struggles in the minor leagues. He's something of a perfectionist. People have been telling him he's talented his entire life. His first serious game goes very well for him. Yet he sees how the other talented players around him are sent home, because of injuries or personal slip-ups. He starts to feel the pressure mount that, if he can keep up a consistently perfect standard, he'll be sent home too. People tell him he's still doing fine but he feels every little mistake is a huge flaw. Which makes him nervous. Which causes him to make more serious mistakes, until his career really is in jeopardy. It's a vicious cycle any perfectionist who also has anxiety can relate to far too well.

What's really surprising about “Sugar” is how it doesn't end after Miguel decides he can't handle the pressures of being a pro-athlete. Instead, the film continues to follow him on his new life. He shacks up in a sleazy hotel, works as a busboy in restaurant, and eventually makes new friends. This is the sort of slice-of-life naturalism that Boden and Fleck were also fascinated with in “Half Nelson.” It also shows the important lesson of how dreams can sometimes do with a revision. Miguel doesn't get what he thinks he wants but ends up being satisfied with his lot in life after all.

In “Half Nelson,” Fleck and Boden occasionally had character flat-out explain the themes of the story to the audience. “Sugar” is thankfully less didactic than that. However, it still features some awfully on-the-nose symbolism. Miguel's deceased dad was a carpenter. It's a career he thinks about sometimes too. At home, he tinkers with fixing an old table. Once in new York, he seeks out a carpenter as a mentor, a man who specializes in doors... Almost as if Miguel himself is opening a door to a new life. His desire to rebuild things – such as a wonky drawer – is clearly symbolic of his desire to rebuild the life he's build for himself.  It's pretty obvious but at least it's not directly described via dialogue.

Unsurprisingly, most of “Sugar's” cast is composed of non-professional actors making their screen debut. The film was the debut for Algenis Perez Soto, who plays Miguel. Soto has a raw quality to his acting, that makes him seem like a totally normal person. This is well suited to the scenes where Miguel is interacting with his new homeland, awkwardly attempting to learn English or flirt with a girl who doesn't even understand him. Soto is also a gifted physical performer. He says a lot with his body language, which is especially valuable during the ambiguous final shot of the film. Soto hasn't done too much acting since this, though Boden and Fleck did find room for him in “Captain Marvel.”

Another continuing trick of Boden and Fleck's is their overly gritty visual sense. Yes, I'm talking about the handheld, shaky cam shit. Luckily, it's not as overdone here as it was in “Half Nelson.” We still have scenes where the image shakes unnecessarily. Or the image roughly zooms in for no reason, like a slow pan on Soto's face during a crowd sequence. I get why the directors like this style. As it lends further on-the-ground naturalism to their gritty, grounded-in-reality stories. But I still sort of dislike this aesthetic in general. What's even more annoying is that other moments in “Sugar” are quite striking, like the way camera visually captures Miguel's growing unease during an attempt to take performance-enhancing drugs.

The movie's soundtrack is also a little too on-the-nose sometimes. There's not much in the way of music for most of the first half, some light scoring or local songs complementing mostly natural sound. Which is fitting for a story concerned with simple people in simple locations. However, after coming to America, popular songs appear in the film. TV on the Radio plays over a montage of the team's various victories. Later, the film actually uses that most overplayed of songs: Leonard Cohen's “Hallelujah,” though at least its performed in Spanish. I do like the Moby cut that plays over the end credits, as it takes us out on a fittingly melancholy if sweeping final note.

Though it was produced by HBO Films, “Sugar” did get a theatrical release. The film was well received but didn't earn any Oscar nominations, like Fleck and Boden's first feature. “Sugar” doesn't have the emotional impact of that one either, though it's not for a lack of trying. In other ways, the film shows the filmmaker's easing into their own style a little more comfortably. It's a strong second feature and a generally likable movie. And that's coming from a guy who fucking hates baseball. [Grade: B]

Director Report Card: Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck (2006)

If you hadn't noticed, I've been taking an extremely long-winded and out-of-order journey through the Marvel Cinematic Universe this year. This trip has seen me encountering filmmakers I probably never would've talked about otherwise. Originally, I had only planned on including a one-off review of "Captain Marvel." But, ya know, Ryan Fleck and Anna Boden seem like pretty interesting filmmakers. Even though I was completely unfamiliar with the rest of their output, I've decided to give it a shot and treat them to the full Director Report Card experience. Hopefully I don't regret this!

1. Half Nelson

For about a decade now, Ryan Gosling has occupied the rare position of being both the critically acclaimed star of buzz-worthy independent films as well as a mainstream sex symbol, appearing in big budget romantic comedies and action movies. It's a fine line that Gosling has proven incredibly adapt at walking, operating with both humor and just the right degree of mysteriousness. (And he also, of course, has a vanity project rock band.) Though Gosling probably would've become a huge star even without it, the actor's true breakthrough was 2006's “Half Nelson,” for which he'd receive his first Oscar nomination. The film was also the feature debut of Ryan Fleck, after making a number of documentary shorts. Though Fleck received sole credit on “Half Nelson,” it's widely accepted to be part of his partnership with Anna Boden, as she co-wrote, produced, and edited the film.

Our setting is a poor high school in Brooklyn. Mr. Dunne teaches history to an apathetic class of kids with more serious problems. Like Drey, a thirteen year old girl currently torn between her paramedic mom and her drug-dealer dad. But Mr. Dunne has problems of his own. While he grapples with his goal of teaching the kids philosophy and making the world a better place, he's also a drug addict. When Drey catches him smoking crack after a basketball game, the two form a special bond.

“Half Nelson” is a movie about a lot of important, real world shit. But because I'm primarily a movie nerd, I'm most interested in it as a brutal deconstruction of the inspirational teacher genre. Mr. Dunne certainly seems like the kind of teacher who would inspire a class of disinterested, social immobile, inner city kids. He rejects the structural rigid systems imposed on him by the school system, in favor of breaking the rules and really blowing the kids' minds. However, we quickly learn that Dunne is far from inspirational. Ultimately, it's one of his students that save him, not the other way around. That the teacher is white and the majority of his classroom is black is surely intentional as well, the film intentionally taking shots at the white savior narrative Hollywood is so fond of.

“Half Nelson” is, perhaps, most compelling for its portrayal of addiction. Dunne has noble qualities. He really does want to help the kids in his class and Drey especially, whom he rightly recognizes as special. But, like most addicts, Dunne is ultimately not able to deal with certain emotions. He claims his drug use is under control, during a hook-up with a random woman. So why does he feel the need to dose up after encountering his ex-girlfriend – who has completely pulled her life together – or an incredibly awkward dinner with his mom? He hits rock bottom when an attempted booty-call with his quasi-girlfriend turns into a near assault, a crime the film perhaps forgives him for a little too easily. Yet, even after that, it's clear that Dunne's journey to sobriety is far complete. He has a long road ahead of him and may never make it.

“Half Nelson” also feels like two movies sometimes. When not focused on Mr. Dunne's struggles with addiction, the film functions as a slice-of-life story about a teenage girl growing up in a divided family in a poor neighborhood. Her mother is a positive influence but also works a hard, demanding job that frequently keeps her away from home. Her father, meanwhile, is a drug dealer that seems eager to recruit her daughter to his empire. Drey doesn't get much out of school either, despite Mr. Dunne's best efforts. She's torn between these influences, trying to forge her own path with few easy or right chooses before her.

The film clearly has a lot of ideas in its mind. Dunne is trying to instruct his students in dialectical materialism, even writing a book for teenagers on the subject. I'll admit, that's a particular philosophy I'm not horribly familiar with. College was a long time ago, you guys. Yet I think this relates to the movie's ideas about opposites. Dunne repeatedly tries to explain to his class that western society is obsessed with the concept of division. That some things are good and some things are bad. Yet he hopes to inform them that other philosophies around the world account for the complexity of human nature, how one person can sum up two ideas. Clearly, this relates to the film's story, of a honorable teacher who is also a drug addict, of a morally ambiguous protagonist trying to live in two worlds at once.

Perhaps another aspect of the film that connects to this philosophy, that goes completely over my head, is references to America's long history of historical atrocities. The school principal wants Mr. Dunne to teach kids a long lesson plan concerning race, touching upon Brown vs. the Board of Education and Martin Luther King. Throughout the film, the students speak directly to the camera. They talk about Harvey Milk, the Attica prison riots, and the CIA-backed military coup in Chile. During his drug-fueled hook-up with a stranger, Dunne starts rambling about George W. Bush and the War in Iraq. How do these repeated references to America's less-than-spotless human rights record connect to the rest of the film's themes? I'm not sure they do and I wonder why they were included, in what is otherwise a fairly intimate story and not historical events.

“Half Nelson” probably sounds like a really dark drama. And it is pretty heavy. Yet there are little moments of humor in the film that keep it from being totally depressing. After an all-night bender, Dunne comes into the high school and proceeds to empty an entire coffee pot into his mug, while dryly staring the man down. Later, a supposedly improvised moment has Gosling picking up a stray cat and nearly walking into a house with it, being rebuffed at the last minute. The awkwardness of his Dunne's dinner with his family frequently creates nervous laughter of a sort, especially his asshole step-dad being mildly racist. Lastly, the teacher's interaction with his favorite student has a soft humor that I can appreciate. Such as a conversation they have in his car after a disastrous basketball game or the moment that concludes the film.

As a vehicle for Ryan Gosling, “Half Nelson” certainly shows off its leading man's ability. Gosling's trademark – a stoic melancholy – gets a real work-out here. Most notably during a sequence where Dunne meets in a park with his ex-girlfriend, whose success he quietly envies. Gosling has multiple moments where he stares forward in contemplation of where his life has gone wrong. Sometimes when puffing on a crack pipe. Yet that's a perhaps superficial reading of Gosling's ability. He shows a lot of range here. Whether it's rambling wildly after snorting some blow or showing off his charm while interacting with the kids, Gosling proves himself to be a versatile performer.

But Gosling is a movie star, so you expect big things of him. What of the complete unknown who co-stars as Drey? That would be Shareeka Epps. Epps gives a naturalistic performance. She rebuffs her mom's attempt to communicate before giving in with a slight smile. While her friends gossip about boys, she has bigger things on her mind. Epps says a lot with a look, conveying deeper emotion with simply a turn of her head or her body language. Her best scene comes when she faces down a bully, intimidating him largely with a steely gaze. It's an impressive debut from such a young performer. Epps has done a little bit of acting since this, most notably in cheesy horror flicks like “Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem” and “My Soul to Take,” but disappointingly hasn't appeared on film since 2013.

Stuck on most DVD covers of “Half Nelson” is another familiar face. Anthony Mackie, years before being launched to superhero stardom, appears as Frank, Drey's father. Mackie strikes an interesting balance between being an unscrupulous underworld figure and being a charming, easy-going father. One can easily see why this combination would be unsettling for a mother. I also like Monique Gariela Cumen as Isabel, who briefly dates Dunne. The two share a genuinely erotic love scene, with Cumen having a decent, easy-going chemistry with Gosling. (Not that it's especially hard for anyone to have chemistry with Ryan Gosling.)

If there's anything about “Half Nelson” that I didn't especially care for, it's the film's visual design. Fleck shot the movie with largely handheld cameras. The result is that many scenes have an unfocused and shaky look to them. Yes, this does fit the movie's gritty, on-the-ground style. However, it's also super distracting. The camera will shake while characters are talking or drift out of focus during other conversations. In these moment, it feels like the direction is drawing too much attention to itself. Personally speaking, years of watching shitty action or horror movies that employ this style has made me instinctively hate it.

That aside, “Half Nelson” is a pretty good movie. It's one of these films that I've heard about for years, an indie darling that deserved to be sought out. For whatever reason, I never got around to it before now. Maybe it's because of the cryptic title, which is apparently some sort of wrestling maneuver. No, I don't know how that relates to the story either. While I can't be as rapturous in my praise as many others, as I found the film a little self-congratulatory in its ideas, it's still a wonderful acted motion picture with some very clever concepts that it executes well. [Grade: B]

RECENT WATCHES: Batman Vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2019)

Because of the insular quality of the comics industry, it’s a lot easier for various properties to get together and make oddball crossovers happen. This is, after all, the medium that brought us “Alien vs. Predator,” “Ape Nation,” and “Archie Meets the Punisher.” In recent years, IDW Publishing has created a number of truly unexpected crossovers. The company has allowed “Star Trek” to meet “Doctor Who;” “Ghostbusters” to meet “Transformers,” the Rocketeer to meet the Spirit, and G.I. Joe to meet Cthulhu. One of the company's crossovers was “Batman Meets Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” This mini-series was so successful, IDW and DC has published several follow-ups. That popularity prompted WB Animation – who have been putting out direct-to-video animated films based on the DC superheros for years – and Nickelodeon to get together and turn “Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” into a feature film. What a time to be alive.

Loosely adapted from the first mini-series, an alliance between the Shredder's Foot Clan and Ra's al Ghul's League of Shadows brings the Ninja Turtles to Gotham City. Batman initially blames the Turtles for these crimes, leading to their inevitable confrontation, before they work out their differences and team-up to fight the baddies together.  In actuality, the story is just an excuse to match-up various complimenting elements from both franchises. So the Party Van and the Batmobile race together. Donnie nerds out over the Bat-Computer. Batman's rogue gallery is transformed via mutagen, leading to such sights as Polar Bear Mr. Freeze or Plant Monster Poison Ivy. Those are just some choice examples, the filmmakers' nerdy glee showing in each mash-up.

Aside from both being a source of nostalgia for nineties kids, what do Batman and the Ninja Turtles have in common? Well, there's a shared affinity for martial arts and stealth attacks. The wide differences between the two cast provides much of the fun factor to “Batman Vs. Ninja Turtles.” Bruce immediately sees something of a kindred spirit in the serious, studious Leonardo... But the young, inexperienced turtle has fears, which the Scarecrow's fear gas utilize. Similarly, Raphael and Damian Wayne bond over their mutual status as gruff outsiders. Donnie and Batgirl end up doing machines and science together, a fun set-up. The goofiest of these interactions is Michaelango's pizza obsession and skateboard habit inconveniencing Alfred. The film cannot resist the fun factor in getting Batman involved with this either, having him eventually consume Italian cheese/sauce bread and shout surfer slang.

There is a downside to the film though. A big problem with WB's series of DC animated features is that they all look very similar. I've seen a bunch of them and they all tend to blend together in my brain, on account of having an identical style. Since the Turtles naturally look a little more exaggerated than the Batman crew, that requires slightly cartoonier character designs. Otherwise, it's the same bland approach we're used to. “Batman vs. Ninja Turtles” even features some lousy CGI, when weightless looking cargo crates are tossed into the air. This line of animated films also sometimes double-down on edgy violence, in an attempt to prove how PG-13 they are. Despite obviously appealing to a younger audience, “Batman Vs. Ninja Turtles” does this too. Did we really need to see Ra's al Ghul cut heads off or the Shredder shove his claws through some random guy's chest?

Ultimately though, films like this are for the fans. Since “Batman” and “TMNT” both have long histories, there's lots of in-jokes that are sprinkled throughout. Fittingly, since it aired around the same time as the original "Turtles" cartoon, the film has several shout-outs to “Batman: The Animated Series.” Like those awesome crime blimps. While no one from either original series is in this movie, the voice cast is full of soundalikes. A campy fight scene with the Penguin recalls the Adam West “Batman” series. “TMNT” lore dominates the shout-outs. Shredder's entrance recalls his slow-mo descend in the first live action movie. Baxter Stockman appears as a delightfully grotesque fly humanoid. Theme songs and catchphrases are reprised. For fans of both   series, it's fun to catch this stuff.

Like so much comic book-adapted media, this ends on a blatant sequel hook. While the four-color crossover prompted three sequels, it's hard to say if the various corporate agreements that allowed this film to happen will last through to a continuation. But I would watch it, if it got made. “Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” is ultimately a trifle, a light-weight and fluffy snack that doesn't even approach the more meaningful layers of either franchise. The animation if forgettable and the story is nonsense. Yet seeing your childhood toy box play sessions realized in animation does provide a thrill or two. [7/10]

RECENT WATCHES: Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

History repeats itself. In 2009, the “Terminator” franchise was revived with eyes towards creating a trilogy of films. The film failed to attract enough of a significant audience, being declared a box office failure. Despite this, in 2015, the “Terminator” franchise was revived again with eyes, once more, towards creating a new trilogy of films. This reboot also failed to attract enough ticket-buyers and did not launch a new expansion of the franchise. A mere three years later, another attempt has been made to reboot this time traveling killer robot saga. And, yes, “Terminator: Dark Fate” has also been a box office failure. It's almost as if the public isn't interested in a reboot of the “Terminator” franchise.

So why the hell did the Hollywood deal brokers and money men decide the world demanded a new “Terminator” film, despite all evidence pointing to the contrary? James Cameron regained the rights to the series in 2016. This prompted a desire to – as has become trendy – make a new sequel that would ignore the later films and instead focus on following up the originals people actually liked. “Dark Fate” was intended to be the real “Terminator 3.” Cameron would have a hand in writing the film, with “Deadpool” director and supposed “Terminator” super-fan Tim Miller directing. But you knew that already. Let's see if “Dark Fate” is the return to form some fans seem to think it is.

Yes, “Rise of the Machines,” “Salvation,” and “Genisys” have all been tossed in the trash. The year is 2019 and Judgment Day has never arrived. Mexican day laborer Dani Ramos goes about her life with her father and brother. That's when two figures appear from the future. The first is a human solider named Grace, whose body has been augmented with futuristic technology. The second is a new Terminator, a shapeshifter determined to exterminate Dani. Yet Dani and Grace, woefully unprepared to handle the present, is not alone. Soon, Sarah Connors – years after John was murdered by another rogue Terminator – arrives to assist the girl. “Carl,” a pacified T-800, also joins the battle against the unstoppable Rev-9.

“Dark Fate” endeavors to replicate the extended chase scene plotting of the original “Terminator.” Once the shape-shifting kill-bot arrives, our heroes rarely stop moving. The scenes of peace, such as Sarah getting to know our new heroes in a hotel room or Dani and the gang hanging out at “Carl's” house, are short stop-overs on an endless race towards the next action sequence. The pacing is almost always up-hill but the execution lacks the grim tension of Cameron's original. The result is a noisy experience that wares the audience down, instead of exciting or thrilling them.

In fact, there's almost nothing interesting about “Dark Fate's” story at all. The sequel presents a number of time travel shenanigans. SkyNet has been destroyed but the murderous robot filled future is still unavoidable, another entity called LEGION arising to bring ti about. Apparently, new Terminators have been arriving from never-to-be-fulfilled futures on a regular basis over the years. Instead of exploring the possibilities of this, of splintering time lines and alternate futures, “Dark Fate” just casually explains its set-up and starts running. What LEGION is or where it comes from is never expounded on. Say what you will about “Terminator Genisys,” an incredibly goofy motion picture that made absolute mince meat of the series' established lore, but at least it was ambitious. “Dark Fate” is satisfied to set up a totally new apocalypse that just happens to look and act exactly like all the previous apocalypses we've seen in this series.

In form and function, “Dark Fate” is basically a remake of the original “Terminator.” The familiar beats of a heroine and a futuristic protector running from a Terminator all appear. This lack of creativity is evident in the film's latest evil Terminator. It's absolutely gulling to me that it's been twenty-eight years since “Terminator 2” and nobody has been able to think of a better idea for a killer robot than the liquid metal T-1000. What gimmick differentiates the Rev-9 from all past Terminators? He has a robotic skeleton, like Arnold's original, that can separate from a nano-tech “skin,” both able to function as separate entities. Essentially, the Rev-9 is just a lazy mash-up of the first two Terminators. He attacks with guns or stabbing CGI tentacles, both of which are very boring. Surely, a person as creative and inventive as James Cameron could've come up with something cooler than
this? But I doubt Jim had as much input on the script as has been advertised.

“Deadpool” certainly suggested Tim Miller was capable of constructing a creative action scene. The dude is a former animator, after all, and brought that cartoon energy to the superhero film. Perhaps I gave him too much credit with that one though. Because the action direction in “Dark Fate” is weirdly terrible. The combat scenes are frequently a blur of CGI destruction. There's lots of slow-mo, of bodies being tossed through the air or dodging bullets, but it all feels totally weightless. Though the R-rating was much hyped, there's certainly nothing memorable or especially brutal about the violence here. In the second half, “Dark Fate” becomes totally incoherent. A long fight scene takes place in blurry water. A battle above a dropping airship is difficult to follow. There's more CGI mangling and indistinct destruction during the climax, which never seems to end. There's certainly nothing here to rival the police station massacre in the original or the aqueduct chase in “T2.”

So what is there to like about “Dark Fate?” Well, the cast is pretty good. Mackenzie Davis proves to be a surprisingly effective action hero. Though CGI effects allow Davis to perform all sorts of superhuman heroics, her performance is largely characterized by vulnerability. Grace has weaknesses too, her superpowers-granting battery running low quickly. This allows Davis to bring a great deal of humanity to the role. There's even a sweetness at times, as she attempts to bond with Dani. Natalia Reyes is also decent as Dani, even if the character's transformation into a solider is never believable. (Which has more to do with the script than Reyes.)

And, of course, there's always Arnold Schwarzenegger. Much like in “Genisys,” Schwarzenegger appears here as an aging Terminator that has integrated into human society. This time, “Carl” has become rather human in his personality, even marrying a woman and providing for a step-son. Naturally, any scene of Arnold playing the Terminator as a deadpan Dad figure is absolutely delightful. This, unsurprisingly, proves to be the highlight of “Dark Fate.” Linda Hamilton returns to Sarah Connor as a woman practically broken, who survives only for revenge at this point. Sarah's character arc, of learning to live for something actually breathing, is never especially earned. However, watching Hamilton be a grizzled bad-ass, casually deploying a bazooka or grenades, is deeply entertaining.

There's a half-assed attempt at social commentary here. The heroine is Mexican, the Terminator disguises himself as an immigration officer, and crossing the border factors into the plot. But it's hard to care too much about that when the plot is uninteresting and the action is deeply uninvolving. “Dark Fate” is the first “Terminator” movie to be a full-blown bomb, as “Salvation” and “Genisys” at least broke even. Yet I suspect the “Terminator” brand is destined to be back. (Though probably not as a streaming series or something and not a big budget movie.) Producers clearly believe this franchise has too much name recognition to let rest forever. So it looks like we'll be haunted by mediocre “Terminator” spin-offs until Judgment Day finally arrives for real. [5/10]