Director Report Card: Tobe Hooper (2013)

20. Djinn

“Djinn,” when filming was just beginning, was greatly hyped by the company backing it. The producers trumpeted it as a proud co-production between American and Middle Eastern cinema. A quote-unquote major director like Tobe Hooper making a movie in Dubai was treated like a big deal. It was sold as the first horror film in both English and Arabic languages. Horror films are generally rare in the Middle East, making “Djinn” an anomaly in that sense as well. Whatever hopes the producers had for the film were undermined by its protracted post-production. Though filmed in 2011, the film wouldn’t see a state-side release until 2015. It is, as of now, the last film Hooper has directed.

Following the death of their infant child, Arabic couple Sarah and Khalid are convinced to move back to the United Arab Emirates. While Khalid is happy to be back near his family and has a new job waiting for him, Sarah hates the idea. She misses America. The two move into a towering apartment complex, built along the coast. Deserted in the foggy winter time, both Sarah and Khalid find the building unnerving. Local legends claim the area is haunted by djinn, the mystical beings of fire of Islamic beliefs. While Khalid is away at work, Sarah has an up close encounter with the djinn, who seek to punish her for past crimes.

Being a co-production between two separate countries, “Djinn” is rightfully a culture clash stories of sorts. This is clear in the way the film often leaps between English and Arabic. It’s not uncommon for characters to speak two different languages in the same scene. Beyond the language barrier, the film is clearly about the Westernization of the Middle East. The cutting edge apartment is built on traditional land, full of legends of its own. An early scene shows a white millionaire, riding around in a big ass truck, falling victim to the djinn. Sarah is thoroughly westernized, spending the entire movie wishing she was back in America. American ideas meeting traditional ones is fertile ground to tell a horror story.

Disappointing, “Djinn” has an unsightly conservative streak running through it. One of the things Sarah misses about being in America is working. In Dubai, she’s expected to stay at home all day. Moreover, she’s expected to have another child, to become a traditional mother. As the story progresses, the djinni haunts Sarah with images of her dead child. Near the end, it’s revealed Sarah actually murdered her infant son. While the story reasons for this is because the child was half-human, half-djinni, the results come off as hopelessly puritanical. In other words: She never wanted to be a mother and, the film suggests, that’s bad. Another dispiriting element has the female villain being shown as sexually forward. The horror genre is often reactive and “Djinn” falls into this traditional in the worst way.

At least “Djinn” has a decent idea at its root. As screenwriter David Tully pointed out, there aren’t many horror films about djinn, despite them being a notable component in a major world religion. Using an underutilized mythological figure from another culture is always a good basis for a horror flick. Early on in “Djinn,” a minor character tells a ghost story of sorts. He presents the legends behind the film’s central villain. That of a baby-snatching female djinni with a history of seducing human men. That’s a mythological archetype with a long history, stretching through the Hebrew Lilith, the Greek Lamia, and the Slavic Lady Midday. “Djinn,” too often, plays like a typical ghost story but at least it has an interesting set-up.

Being a Tobe Hooper movie, “Djinn” naturally features a memorable location. The apartment building rises out of the fog, looking alien and unusual among the landscape. Once inside, the architecture is clearly modern in design. Yet there are small symbol towards the location’s traditional history. Stone pillars points towards Arabic temples. The air vents are decorated with stars. The room where the djinn hang out feature the same black and white checkered floor that have shown up in other Hooper films. The director even manages to make a relatively normal looking building seem sinister, when his camera peers around the hallways and doors of the apartment.

As a horror film, “Djinn” is goreless. There’s maybe a little bit of blood in one or two scenes. Instead, the film seeks to get chills out of atmosphere and ghostly effects. Occasionally, these moments are effective. When Sarah is attacked by the djinni, alone in the apartment, there’s a handful of spooky elements. She watches on a monitor, as a ghostly images moves through the hallways. While praying in the foreground, a blurry image in a black veil creeps across the ceiling after her. Lastly, the movie makes the most of its foggy setting. The image of a truck suddenly emerging from the fog is one of the film’s genuinely effective jump scares.

Too often, though, “Djinn’s” attempts to be scary totally lack bite. The film utilizes close-up zooms on the ghastly faces of the djinn. When the camera is snapping back and forth between shots of eyes or teeth, the audience is just irritated, not frightened. An increasingly goofy gag the film returns to repeatedly is someone’s eyes turning black, as a sign that the djinn has taken control of them. Ghostly sounds are utilized too often. The first time Sarah hears a baby crying down the hall, it’s mildly effective. Every time afterwards is much less interesting. Sadly, before the movie’s over, it even relies on the kind of shaky-cam, rock video edits that I thought Hooper was above.

Once credits are subtracted, “Djinn” runs under eighty minutes long. Despite that brief run time, the screenplay for “Djinn” still fruitlessly spins its wheels for extended periods of time. The entire middle section of the film is built around Sarah being alone in the apartment. Khalid totally exits the story, being stuck at world. This classic horror troupe – of a woman alone and in peril – seems to be the only idea the script had. After that sequence ends, “Djinn” searches hopelessly for more story. The exact nature of the haunting varies from scene to scene, different characters being associated with the titular spirits. There’s a long scene devoted to the female djinni inviting Khalid and Sarah to a party, attempting to poison both with contaminated food. A long scene is devoted to Khalid having flashbacks while in the bathroom. These scenes bumble around hopelessly before “Djinn” finally lurches towards its underwhelming conclusion.

The acting in “Djinn” is uneven. The cast is actually fairly small, which seems to point towards the film’s low budget. Aiysha Hart plays Sarah. Most of the film revolves around her, a tall order that Hart is relatively prepared to handled. She panics nicely, rooting the character’s reaction to the supernatural events in something realistic. As Khalid, Khalid Laith is less consistent. When playing off Hart, Laith does okay. However, when the script calls on him to react to the spooky events of the story, Laith is totally unconvincing. Considering the actors are best when together, the script separating them for long times is a problem. A bigger problem is when the story reveals both of them to be assholes by the end. Hart’s Sarah is a child killer. Laith’s Khalid is an adulterer.

Despite the small cast, there’s still one or two notable supporting role. A number of actresses play the main female djinni, with Kristina Coker, with her piercing eyes, being the most memorable. As Sarah’s mother, Razane Jammal is okay, especially once she becomes possessed by the spirit. I like May Calamawy as Aisha, the younger sister. Her part is much too small. Saoud Al Kaabi shows some boisterous energy as the father, Mubarak. In the brief role as the American asshole in the first scene, Paul Luebke is very entertaining in a ridiculous way.

Like everything else in “Djinn,” the special effects vary in quality. CGI is utilized too often. Sometimes, like when one of the djinni is moving in the distance, this isn’t too distracting. Obscure figures in black veils, jittery in the background, even borders on creepy at times. However, when the creeping djinn are in the foreground of a shot, how fake they are becomes apparent. Too often, shoddy CGI is used to enhance an actor. Where the real person ends and the computer generated images begin is too obvious. The most awkward special effect in “Djinn” is actually one of its most simple. At the end, a character dangles from the edge of the towering building. This is clearly shot on a sound stage, the characters never once appearing to be in actual danger.

There’s a reason “Djinn” took nearly five years to reach theaters. The film was re-edited and re-cut multiple times during pre-production. As a co-production between Americans and the Middle East, perhaps the film faced extra scrutiny. Extensive care was taken not to offend local sensibilities. This is probably the reason why “Djinn” feels so disjointed. There are definitely tell-tale signs of too many cooks in the kitchen. And it’s a shame too. The chance to fuse American and Eastern sensibilities could have resulted in something really interesting. The resulting film is too often uneven and forgettable. [Grade: C]

Hooper worked steadily throughout the nineties and two-thousands. However, he's slowed down a lot this decade. "Djinn" is, thus far, the only film he's made in the new tens. In 2011, he co-wrote a meta horror novel called "Midnight Movie." His IMDb profile lists a film from 2009 called "Destiny Express Redux" but the film apparently isn't real and exists only as a plot device in the pages of the book. I assume some prankster added the listing to IMDb.

I went into this Director Report Card with low expectations, knowing Hooper has directed many forgettable and out right bad films. While this is true, I've come away from this project with a new appreciation for Hooper. With the exception of "Crocodile," even his worst films aren't all that bad. There's even some interesting reoccurring quirks throughout his career. He's not responsible for as many outright masterpieces as his seventies horror brethren. But this has still been pretty fun.  

Director Report Card: Tobe Hooper (2005)

19. Mortuary

The positive critical reaction of “Toolbox Murders” revitalized Tobe Hooper’s career. After years of horror fans ignoring the mediocre products he was involved in, suddenly Hooper’s name meant something again. The next year, Hooper would re-team with the “Toolbox Murders’” screenwriting team of Adam Gierasch and Jace Anderson once more. The next film, “Mortuary,” went direct-to-video and received little attention. Many perceived Hooper as squandering the good will he had built up with his latest success. Yet, if approached with reasonably measured expectations, “Mortuary” holds up alright.
   
Following the death of her husband, Leslie Doyle picks up her teenage son, Jonathan, and her young daughter, Jamie, and moves them across country. Leslie has taken a new job as a mortician in a strange town. The house they move into is surrounded by a graveyard and is totally dilapidated. It’s also the source of a local legend, about Bobby Fowler, a deformed boy locked in the attic. Despite these roadblocks, Jonathan still manages to make some friends. He’s going to need them, as a strange entity under his new home is turning people into murderous zombies. Soon enough, his own mother has turned into a killer.

Scripting wise, “Mortuary” doesn’t appear to be anything special on the surface. The film’s general set-up, about a kid moving into a new town and struggling to make friends amidst bizarre circumstances, isn’t too unusual. However, what keeps “Mortuary” entertaining is its light, comedic tone. The film is slightly goofy, the character being a little ridiculous and the threats being equally quirky and scary. In time, the story reveals itself to be a kids on an adventure flick, Jonathan and his new friends working together to survive the ordeal. While not topping genre classics like “Night of the Creeps” or “Tremors,” it happily recalls the same atmosphere. The characters are threatened by monsters and surrounded by death yet still seem to be having an awfully good time.

The funny tone nicely balances out a story that is all about death. The death of their father continues to haunt Jonathan and Jamie, with the little girl still not seeming to understand where he went. Leslie is eager to start over but literary filling her house with dead bodies constantly reminds everyone of her late husband. When the mother becomes a zombie, the siblings loose their remaining parent. Yet this isn’t the only death in “Mortuary.” The Fowler house is crumbling and so is the town around it. Many of the local businesses are closing. The kids don’t have much of a future. Moreover, “Mortuary” also concerns itself with the literal realities of death. Leslie’s work puts her in contact with rotting flesh and bloated bodies, a fact that even Jonathan’s gothy girlfriend isn’t prepared to handle.

“Mortuary” takes its time getting to the zombies. In its first half, the film appears to be a different kind of horror movie. As soon as the other kids hear that Jonathan is living in the Fowler house, they begin to mock him. After becoming friends with Liz, she regales him of the story about Tommy Fowler. About the legacy of black magic, about his deformity, about his sheltered existence. Every town has a legend like that and “Mortuary” happily invents its own. Other scenes are devoted to teens’ sexual adventures being interrupted by a masked madman, a moment that blatantly recalls slasher flicks. This pays off in small moments, such as Tommy’s distinctive mask appearing in little Jamie’s closest. The film’s story is full of fun references like this, including a brief shout-out to H.P. Lovecraft.

Once the zombies show up, “Mortuary” puts its own spin on that well-worn horror archetype as well. The zombies here are not shambling corpses that feed on human flesh and spread their infection via bites. Instead, they’re capable of limited speech, often repeating phrases they used in life. Some of them can even pass for human, though their pale flesh gives them away. They spread their zombie virus by puking a black sludge into their victims’ mouths. Most importantly, the zombies are created and controlled by a black/green mold or moss, that crawls into the dead bodies. Likely inspired by a bizarre real life fungus, the organism compels the zombies to gather victims. They are then fed to a Sarlacc mouth in the basement. The script also gives the monsters a weakness, in the form of salt, a mineral with numerous occult properties. In other words, it’s not the same old zombie shenanigans you might be use to. “Mortuary” is a quirky, unique take on the subgenre.

“Mortuary” is solidly in the horror/comedy mold. The behavior of the zombies is often absurd, the undead teens spitting black ooze at the old woman. Or the local sheriff carrying his obsession with “graveyard babies” beyond the grave. However, the film occasionally goes for real scares. The scene devoted to the zombified Leslie trying to get her kids to ingest the zombie-creating slime is appealingly morbid. The children’s slow realization that something is wrong with their mother plays out nicely. Soon afterwards, “Mortuary” becomes a siege pictures, the teens walling up inside the house, attempting to keep the undead out. This leads to some solid sequence, such as the undead mom bursting through a morgue locker. An earlier plot thread, that has dead bodies being stored in coffins inside the house, pays off nicely. Some of the early jump scares are too obvious but “Mortuary” eventually develops into a decent spook show.

Building the story around a spooky old building certainly plays to Tobe Hooper’s strengths as a filmmaker. Few horror directors go to as much effort as him in making the settings characters. The Fowler house in dilapidated, the walls rotting apart. Jonathan chooses Tommy’s room, which maintains bars on the window. The kitchen is always bathed in sickly green light, making the already filthy room seem especially unwelcoming. “Mortuary” goes even further by building a series of tunnels and hidden rooms underneath the house. In a move that recalls “Toolbox Murders,” Tommy Fowler has been living secretly inside the home for years. His hiding place is full of small details, toys and artwork. Just for kicks, the movie also throws in a spooky graveyard, adding further to the horror atmosphere.

A likable cast is another reason to seek out “Mortuary.” Dan Byrd stars as Jonathan. The characters embodies many teenage clichés. He’s eager to make his own life, getting a job in town, driving around, smoking pot behind his mom’s back. Yet Byrd adds enough personality to keep Jonathan from being annoying. Truthfully, he brings a lot of humor and character to the part. The biggest name in the film is Denise Crosby as Leslie. (Considering the story, her casting seems a likely reference to “Pet Sematary.”) Crosby also seems to be on the film’s comedic wavelength, bringing a nice light-hearted energy to the role. Once she becomes undead, Crosby goes nicely over the top, acting truly unhinged. I also like young Stephanie Patton as Jamie, who doesn’t come off as an obnoxious kid. Instead, she’s sweet and likable, making her eventual peril more compelling.

Maybe more important then his family are the friends Jonathan makes. Alexandra Adi plays Liz, a waitress at the dinner Jonathan works. He’s immediately attracted to her and, in an especially rewarding moment, she reveals that she shares that attraction. Liz is a bit gothy and is intrigued by Jonathan living in a mortuary. (At least, until she actually sees a dead body…) Adi is charming in the part, bringing equal amounts of humor and enthusiasm. I also like Rocky Marqutte as Grady, Liz’s best friend. Jonathan assumes the two to be lovers at first but Grady, it turns out, is gay. Marqutte is decently funny, even if he exits the film far too soon.

Among the supporting cast is Michael Shamus Wiles as Sheriff Howell. The local cop has several odd preoccupation and, amusingly, is incredibly awkward around strangers. Lee Garlington plays Rita, Liz’s aunt. An old hippy, Rita often references the many drugs she did in her youth. That burnt out quality makes the character memorable, Garlington playing the role to full effect. A trio of teens up the body count. Tina, played by Courtney Peldon, seems to be an indistinct blonde type before developing a surprising will to live. (Her chestiness is often drawn attention to and pays off in a sick gag.) Bug Hall as Cal and Tarah Paige as Sara, both believably brain dead, round out that trio. “Toolbox Murders” graduate Greg Travis has an amusing small role as Eliot Cook, an incredibly sleazy local politician.

“Mortuary” has two major flaws. While obviously a horror/comedy, the movie sometimes pushes too far in the comedic direction. Such as in a scene where Leslie’s attempt to embalm a body is cross-cut with Jonathan dispelling of some pot smoke. That moment is weirdly scored to some distracting rock music. Lastly, some dodgy CGI crops up throughout the film. The malevolent mold sometimes leaps into victim’s mouths, which is not a convincing special effect. The final scene, where the brains of the plague is revealed, also features some shaky effects. It’s clear that the film’s vision sometimes was beyond its budgetary means.

“Mortuary” is definitely flawed. In Hooper’s overall career, it’s also fairly minor. It’s not even as good as “Toolbox Murders.” However, it’s charming and fun. After years of making forgettable films, it proves that Hooper was still capable of creating a likable loopy flick. The horror and comedy elements are usually nicely balanced. The cast is agreeable. The script takes some unexpected turns. While unlikely to emerge as a great cult classic for the ages, it certainly is a pleasant way for a horror fan to spend eighty-nine minutes. [Grade: B]

Director Report Card: Tobe Hooper (2004)

18. Toolbox Murders

In 2003, Hollywood remade Tobe Hooper’s most iconic movie. The next year, he decided to return the favor in a round about sort of way. His next feature would be a remake too. Tobe would put his own spin on “The Toolbox Murders,” a 1978 exploitation cult classic that was inspired by Hooper’s own “Texas Chain Saw Massacre.” Instead of just using a chainsaw to reek murderous havoc, the delightfully cheap and sleazy flick utilized every tool in the toolbox. Hooper’s version drops the declarative article and most everything else too. While “Toolbox Murders” only received a limited theatrical release, the reviews were some of the best Hooper had seen in years.

Recently married couple Nell and Steven Barrows have just moved into Lusman Arms, a crumbling apartment complex in the heart of Los Angeles’ film distract. They have trouble integrating themselves among the fighting couples, apathetic staff, and would-be movie stars living there. As Steven has a demanding job at a near-by hospital, Nell is often left alone. The strange behavior of her neighbors, including a few disappearances, prompt her to look into the apartment’s history. She discovers an entire separate building hidden inside the hotel. Living there is a deformed killer kept alive by the eccentric architecture of the building. Nell must escape the murderer and the long list of tools he uses to kill.

The original “Toolbox Murders” has its place in horror history. The original is most infamous for its opening cascade of misogynistic gore. Within the span of about a half-hour, the ski-mask clad killer graphically murders four women with a drill, a screwdriver, a hammer, and a nail gun. For extra exploitation value, lots of gratuitous nudity and sex is included. The rest of the movie is a relatively stodgy mystery with a foregone conclusion. In other words, it’s a good candidate for a remake, a film with a few memorable elements that doesn’t work as a whole. 2004’s “Toolbox Murders” keeps the setting, the killer’s look, a few of the kills, and nothing else. Hooper’s take instead spins the story in a wildly different direction.

Another way the original “Toolbox Murders” emulates “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre” is a bogus claim that the story was based on true events. The remake doesn’t bother with this. However, it does start with blank text pointing out that lots of people head to California in search of fame. And some of them disappear. Early on, the apartment manager claims Elizabeth Short, the Black Dahlia herself, once lived there. Two of the residents of the Lusman Arms are actors, hoping to break into Hollywood. Julia used to be overweight and obsesses over exercise and dieting. Another tenant, before being claimed by the killer, comes home from a dispiriting audition. The reason the murders have gone undetected for so long is because Los Angeles eats up the young, the hopeful, and the naïve. Nobody notices when they’re gone because so many have come and gone before.

Beyond that, “Toolbox Murders” draws on another aspect for its creepy atmosphere. As soon as Nell and Steven move into their apartment, their neighbors are off-putting. An intimate moment between the couple is interrupted when a neighbor ask if they want to borrow some tea. Later, the couple next door have a loud argument, every shout audible between the paper thin walls. A few days later, the same couple have enthusiastic, loud make-up sex. At one point, Nell calls the cops after hearing violent screaming down the hall. Turns out, one of the actors is just practicing lines. Another interesting reveal shows that the creepy teenager next door is spying on another tenant, via a hidden webcam. The film builds off the anxiety and curiosity of apartment living to create an effectively spooky tone.

Over his long career, across the wild ups and downs of quality, one distinctive attributes unites all of Tobe Hooper’s work. That is an interest in locations, how they relate to the characters and story. The Lusman Arms apartment provides Hooper with some prime real estate. The building is undergoing renovation, meaning nails are constantly being hammered and work is always being done. The wash room in the basement is incredibly creepy, hidden behind brick walls and sudden turns. Dreary lights overhead cast an eerie glow over the entire film. The film even shares some similarities with one of the other highlights from Hooper’s later career. As in “The Apartment Complex,” a missing room number is a plot point. Unlike that film, there’s nothing especially inviting about this apartment complex. The Lusman Arms is a shitty place to live, weird, and off-putting. In other words, a fine location for a horror film.

Despite the bleak setting, there’s a sense of humor in “Toolbox Murders.” The eccentricities of Nell’s neighbors is just as likely to amuse her as upset her. The boredom of having nothing to do during the day gets to her. Soon, she finds an adventure to head out on. Looking at the discrepancies in the building causes her to seek out the blue prints. This leads to a fun, and slightly goofy, conversation with a librarian. After learning that the hotel is full of secret rooms, we’re treated to a montage of her exploring the hotel, knocking on walls. The character is interested in what’s happening and so is the audience, caught up in her infectious energy. 

That “Toolbox Murders” is capable of some goofy fun is important. Aside from the drab setting, the film also features some seriously grisly violence. There are direct homages to the originals. A woman is pinned to the wall with a nail gun. A claw hammer splatters brain matter. A drill bit enters one side of a woman’s head and exits the other. A skull is sliced in half with a buzzsaw. One of the most brutal kills has the killer squeezing a victim’s head in a vice before dousing his face with quicklime. Sometimes, the gore is so excessive that it borders on humorous. The flailing screams of a victim, after getting his spine snapped with some bolt cutters, is almost funny. Meanwhile, there’s some unfortunately fake sound effects in a few other scenes. Still, more often then not, the gore is effectively grisly and memorable, rising above typical slasher movie thrills.

Tobe Hooper’s latter day flicks are rarely scary, never approaching the intensity of “Texas Chain Saw Massacre” or “Poltergeist.” “Toolbox Murders” isn’t as good as those movies. However, the film does show the director having some fun. Yes, there are jump scares. An attacker will jump out and grab someone, loud music blaring on the soundtrack. Several times, Nell bumps into someone, startled and shocked. Despite that, Hooper employs some decent misdirection. When you expect the killer to enter a room through the doorway, he leaps form behind a curtain. One of my favorite gags has the film pointing towards the murderer appearing in a closed mirror. Instead, nothing happens… Which builds towards a more startling scare later, when the attacker bursts through a window. It’s never truly scary but there is a sense of spooky fun, like a haunted house ride.

Starring in “Toolbox Murders” is Angela Bettis. Star of “May,” from fellow Master of Horror Lucky McKee, Bettis was a rising cult star at the time. Obviously, I’m a huge fan. As Nell Barrows, Bettis brings a nervous quality to the part. While snooping around the apartment, investigating the mysteries of the building or checking on her neighbors, she seems genuinely interested or concerned. Bettis isn’t your typical horror starlet. She seems more like a normal person, with a unique personality of her own. Nell is fragile but resourceful, playing up some of Bettis’ greatest strengths. This script isn’t as deep as “May” or “The Woman.” Yet Bettis still makes the most of it, elevating the overall quality of “Toolbox Murders.”

Bettis isn’t the only then up-and-coming scream queen present in “Toolbox Murders.” Sheri Moon Zombie, in her only film role not directed by her husband, appears as the first victim. It’s not much more then a cameo but Moon brings some okay energy to the part. Juliet Landau, of “Buffy” and “Angel” fame, plays Julia. As the deeply insecure and fame hungry young actress, Landau does a lot with a little. Rance Howard, father to Ron and Clint, plays the old man living in the apartment. The character exists mostly to deliver exposition but Howard still establishes some charm. Greg Travis plays the sleazy manager, obviously meant to be the comic relief of the film. There are many other characters in the film, though few of them prove all that interesting. Still, none of the characters or actors are annoying or distracting.

“Toolbox Murders” runs less then ninety minutes, having the good sense to end immediately after the story concludes. Even across that brief run time, the film manages to build up a decent mythology around the killer. Hearkening all the way back to “The Funhouse,” the killer reveals a deformed face when unmasked. Instead of being silent, he possesses an unnerving shriek. The apartment is littered with occult symbols. These runes, along with the architecture of the building, has extended his life. The renovations is threatening this immortality, hence the murders. This is an interesting and unique motivation. (It also recalls concepts Hooper has previously visited in “I’m Dangerous Tonight” and “The Mangler.”) The credits reveal the killers name as Coffin Baby. There’s a brief line of dialogue about this, referencing how he was born in his mother’s grave. It’s an odd last minute decision. Still, it certainly provides a different take on the ski-mask clad maniac.

That mythology was interesting enough to earn “Toolbox Murders” a sequel… Eventually. After nearly a decade in development hell and an extended post-production, including severing all legal connections to this film, “Coffin Baby” a.k.a. “Toolbox Murders 2” finally came out in 2013. By that point, any of the buzz from this movie had worn off. Considering the mediocre-to-awful credits they’ve wracked up – including “Crocodile” – this is also the best work of screenwriter duo Adam Gierasch and Jace Anderson. While far from a masterpiece, “Toolbox Murders” is easily one of the best films Hooper has been involved with in many years. It’s a satisfying, well assembled mixture of slasher flick and supernatural horror. [Grade: B]

Director Report Card: Tobe Hooper (2002)

17. Shadow Realm

As previously established, Tobe Hooper’s latter day career has mostly been filled with television work. In 2001, Hooper directed two episodes of short-lived anthology series “Night Visions.” “Night Visions” was clearly modeled after “The Twilight Zone.” The stories often straddled the line between science fiction and horror, more properly belonging to the fantastique genre. Like the eighties revival of “The Twilight Zone,” each episode of “Night Visions” featured two stories. The most prominent similarities was that the show often ended its tales with ironic twists and moral lessons. The series suffered from executive meddling. Fox insisted on a host. The creators wanted Gary Oldman but the producers picked rock star/occasional actor/asshole Henry Rollins. The network aired the show as summer filler, where it was met with a tepid response. The series didn’t air in its entirety until the Sci-Fi Channel picked it up some time later.

What does any of this have to do with “Shadow Realm?” For some reason, after airing most of “Night Visions,” the Sci-Fi Channel decided to edit two of the unaired episodes – four stories – into a TV movie. The Henry Rollins host segments were clipped out. This was no great loss as all Rollins did was blankly introduce the story and then lazily reiterate the theme at the end, his scenes comprising only a few seconds. Tobe Hooper directed one of the “Night Visions” portions in “Shadow Realm,” which is why I’m talking about this. As far as I know, the “Shadow Realm” presentation has never been released on home video or leaked to the internet. However, the individual “Night Visions” episode are available. I hope it doesn’t shake anybody's sense of my professionalism to know I just watched those instead.

“Shadow Realm” begins with “Patterns.” Martin Hudson is admitted to see Dr. Daniel Critchley. Critchley immediately recognizes Hudson as suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder. He constantly makes odd gestures and repetitive actions. Hudson believes that his obsessive rituals keep the world from falling into chaos. If he, for example, forgets to cross himself multiple times, airplanes will start falling out of the sky. Critchley believes Hudson to be mentally ill and wants to help him control his compulsions. After doing so, though, horrible things begins to happen.

The Sci-Fi Channel producers were smart to start “Shadow Realm” with “Patterns,” as it’s probably the best segment in the film. Two recognizable cult actors are cast in the main roles. Malcolm McDowell plays Hudson. McDowell is adapt at harnessing nervous energy to create eccentric characters. This makes him an ideal choice for an OCD crippled man. Miguel Ferrer plays the skeptical doctor. Ferrer’s gravelly voice brings with it a certain level of authority, making him a good choice for a disbelieving shrink. Watching the two play off each other is entertaining, as Ferrer pushes for his version of the truth and McDowell holds steady to his conceptions.

The two solid performers make up for the script’s heavy-handed aspects. The flashbacks to Hudson’s childhood, when he first discovered his ability, feature some awful child acting. Once McDowell is medicated, the world goes mad. This is shown in several fairly silly ways. Suddenly, the security guard is naked. A car lays in a parking spot upside down. Even the inevitable violence, such as casual murder and suicide, lack impact. It all leads up to an incredibly obvious ending. The conclusion is easy to guess, the set-up coming nearly from the beginning. The twist is too on-the-nose, pinned with overly obvious dialogue. It’s a problem every segment, and one assumes every episode of “Night Visions,” has.

The second story in “Shadow Realm,” “The Maze,” is directed by Tobe Hooper. Thora Birch stars as Susan, a college student primarily focused on her study and track training. One day, while walking across campus, she takes a short cut through a hedge maze. After emerging from the other side, she’s seemingly been teleported a year into the future. Society has crumbled in the wake of a scientific announcement: A planet devastating meteor is headed on a collision course with Earth. Susan now has to find a way back home, before her world ends.

As I said, every segment in “Shadow Realm” approaches its moral in an incredibly obtuse manner. “The Maze” begins with a fellow student asking Susan out on a date. She ignores him and, afterwards, a friend tells her she needs to make room for romance in her life. After her time jump reveals that the world will end in a year, Susan changes her mind about the guy. In other words: You should take chances and enjoy your life because you never know when it’ll end. Maybe this would be less annoying if the world going mad was portrayed better. Instead, we get Amanda Plummer as crazed music professor, stabbing her students to death. It’s weak sauce, not helped by Birch’s sleepy performance or Plummer’s broad overacting.

Tobe Hooper’s television work is unusually fairly indistinct. “The Maze” is mediocre overall but it does feature some decent camera work. As Birch explores the abandoned college campus, Hooper often employs expressive shots. Scenes of the girl walking up a stair case or wandering through an empty cafeteria are accompanied by dutch angles or wide lens. While exploring the hedge maze, off-center, askew perspectives are employed. It doesn’t amount to a whole lot but it does show one of the director’s trademarks still surviving, even into the doldrums of his career.

The third segment in “Shadow Realm” is easily its worst. “Harmony” concerns Timothy Olyphant’s Eli, a traveler whose car breaks down outside the titular town. Upon getting the car in the shop and finding a hotel, he discovers Harmony is an incredible pleasant town. Except everyone freaks out at the slightest sound of music. Eli soon discovers that the inhabitants of Harmony believe that music will summon the Beast, a murderous monster who lives in the woods. It’s a belief the townsfolk are willing to kill to gurantee.

“Harmony” has a lack of interior logic. A monster being summoned by music strikes me as a random writing choice. The people in the town haven’t seen the Beast for hundreds of years. Yet this belief is so built-in, that anything that even resembles music drives them into a violent rage. Whistling or tapping on glasses apparently counts as examples of “music.” The climax of the episode is a stiff, passion lacking conversation between Eli and the townsfolk. The dialogue here is incredibly stilted, the script making its points as broadly as possible. The last minute twist is entirely senseless. Turns out, the Beast is real, making Harmony’s paranoia and violence wholly justified. Henry Rollins’ assures us that the moral here is “respect other people’s beliefs,” apparently even when people are dying senselessly because of them.

“Voices,” the final portion of “Shadow Realm,” concerns Sandra, a deaf woman whose profession is court room illustrator. She’s undergoing experimental treatment to possibly restore her hearing. It doesn’t seem to be working. That is, until she hears a man’s thoughts in court one day. While a cop testifies that a man was killed in a gang shooting, his deranged thoughts reveal he committed the murder. Soon, the murderous cop discovers Sandra’s knowledge of his crime and begins to pursue her.

The most interesting thing about “Voices” is how it illustrates a deaf person’s observations of the world. The soundtrack will go silent, the murderer’s voice being the only noise. Mostly though, “Voices” is as overdone as the rest of “Shadow Realm.” Terrylene’s overly earnest performance as Sandra often borders on camp. The thoughts of John Finn’s killer cop, singular statements always barked in a gruff voice, quickly become ridiculous. The episode devotes a lengthy sequence to explaining the killer’s backstory. The traumatic childhood event that turned him violent is extensively detailed. Instead of Sandra and the mad man having a thrilling confrontation, she talks him back from the edge of insanity. It’s seriously underwhelming and deeply silly. Those words also accurately describe the entire segment.

“Shadow Realm” is easily the most obscure entry in Tobe Hooper’s long career. Considering the forgettable and barely released films he’s been associated with, that’s no small statement. “Night Visions” is a show with a very small cult following. Which makes a TV movie cobbled together from a few stray episodes even more minor. The handful of recognizable names both in front of and behind the camera – Keith Gordon directed “Patterns,” by the way – made me curious enough about the anthology to give it a look. Ultimately, it’s a film I’d probably forget about if it wasn’t for the odd behind the scene circumstances. [Grade: C]

Director Report Card: Tobe Hooper (2000)

16. Crocodile

There was a time when I watched the Sci-Fi Channel, as it was then known, a lot. I loved “Mystery Science Theater 3000” while Sci-Fi often filled its schedule with old school genre television, classic horror and science fiction flicks. In the early two-thousands, the channel began to change its focus. Soon, the cable network began to show cheaply produced, direct-to-video monster movies over and over again. The special effects in these movies were often pathetic, relying on the shittiest of CGI. Nowadays, the channel’s biggest original movies are the “Sharknado” franchise, showing that this focus hasn’t shifted any. A common presence on the network at the time was “Crocodile.” For some reason, Tobe Hooper directed this movie. His long fall from the horror A-list had finally reached rock bottom.

Brady and Duncan are headed for a wild spring break in Florida. Once in the swamp, they meet up with Brady’s girlfriend Claire and a bunch of other kids. Their week of debauchery, drugs, and booze is interrupted when Claire discovers Brady has slept with Sunny, the loose girl in the group. Meanwhile, a pair of drunken hunters wreck a nest filled with mysterious eggs. Afterwards, they’re killed by a giant crocodile. A local legend, about a croc-worshipping hotel owner importing the reptile from Egypt, is connected with the beast. After the teens stumble upon the nest, the giant critter comes after them. Will any of them survive? Will the audience care?

During the Sci-Fi Channel’s rapid decline around the turn of the millennium, the network frequently showed movies produced by Nu Image. The company would eventually reach a certain level of main stream success by releasing “The Expendables” series. But they got their start producing low budget action schlock like “Cyborg Cop,” “Project Shadowchaser,” and “Operation Delta Force.” In time, the company would branch out into low budget horror schlock, such as “Shark Attack.” “Crocodile” was part of a loose trilogy of singularly entitled killer animal movies Nu Image released in 2000. “Crocodile,” “Spiders,” and “Octopus” were all shown on Sci-Fi Channel constantly. Their sequels – “Crocodile 2: Death Swamp,” “Spiders II: Breeding Ground,” and “Octopus 2: River of Fear” – were also frequently shown. “Crocodile” isn’t the worst of this particular suite of films. That’s “Octopus.” It’s also not the best, which is “Spiders.” (Maybe Nu Image agrees with that, as they bafflingly remade “Spiders” in 2013.) Not that quantifiers like “best” and “worst” mean anything when we’re discussing Z-grade garbage like this. “Crocodile” is still a monumentally shitty movie.

Let’s talk about the titular crocodile first. That’s what we’re all for here anyway, ostensibly. The creature is brought to life through four primary methods. The first of which is good old fashion monster-vision, when the camera assumes the point-of-view of the beastie. The second method is a large fiberglass prop. This one floats in the water but otherwise seems immobile. The third of which is a set of jaws, seemingly without eyes, capable of chomping actors. These are cheap but okay special effects. It’s obvious they aren’t real but, at the very least, they actually look like a big ass crocodile.

The fourth and final method the movie uses to create the title-lending monster is the most questionable. Back in the year 2000, mainstream Hollywood movies didn’t always have decent CGI. Studio produced creature features like “Anaconda” and “Lake Placid,” both of which were undoubtedly huge influences on “Crocodile,” featured digital effects that have aged extremely poorly. So what hope can we have for the computer generated images in a flick made with a quarter of those budgets? The CGI crocodile here doesn’t even appear to occupy the same plane of reality as the human characters. When walking, it floats an inch above the ground. When forced to interact with other objects, like a log or a gas station, the fakeness of the effects become even more obvious. The special effects are so crappy, they become insulting. How could anyone think this looked acceptable, much less good?

Okay, you’d at least expect a low budget horror movie to pile on the gore. Disappointingly, not so much. It’s clear that “Crocodile” was at least partially intended for a television audience. There’s no nudity and all the profanity can be easily dubbed out. As for the gore, it’s pretty meager stuff. We see someone get chomped by a croc, their body disappearing in a splash of blood. When a limb is bitten off, there’s a quick burst of minor blood. We don’t even see a weeping stump or get a gory close-up. The most explicit gag in the movie has a guy getting chomped in half by the croc, with the prosthetic being unconvincing. The lack of proper gore and nudity means “Crocodile” can’t even satisfy the most prurient of horror expectations.

There’s really nothing interesting about the film at all. Except for one, fairly minor detail. Before the crocodile really begins to go on its killing spree, the teens gather around a campfire. Kit, the most responsible of the group, tells a local legend. Apparently, an owner of a near-by hotel brought the crocodile, named Flat Dog for some reason, home with him from Egypt. Once there, he created a cult around the beast, worshiping it as an extension of Egyptian god Sobek. Apparently, the conservative Christian townsfolk were so scandalized by this, they chased him out of town and burned the hotel down. There’s a lot of foreshadowing concerning the dilapidated old building, with discussions about its checkered floors being stained with blood. That would’ve been cool to see, which means it was definitely outside Nu Image’s budgetary boundaries. This backstory suggest that something interesting could’ve been mined from “Crocodile.” Could’ve but wasn’t.

When he made “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre,” Tobe Hooper laid the groundwork for countless low budget horror movies about partying teens stumbling upon murderous terror. “Crocodile” also follows this familiar outline. While the teens in “Chain Saw” could occasionally be irritating, the teens in “Crocodile” are absolutely repugnant. Chris Solari’s Duncan has a stupid hair cut, hits crudely on all the girls, and spends most of the movie screaming profanity. Rhett Jordan’s Foster is similarly vulgar, obsessed with partying. Greg Wayne’s Hubs drinks until he pukes and plays cruel pranks. Sommer Knight’s Sunny, who also has a stupid haircut, is referred to as “that slut,” a character type she plays without subversion. Doug Reiser’s Kit shows a smidgen of self-awareness while Julie Mintz’ Annabelle is obsessed with her dog. They too get involved in the loud-mouth partying. Characters being poorly written is one thing. Making them outright unpleasant to be around is another.

You’d expect the main duo to be more likable. Mark McLauchlin’s Brady and Caitlin Martin’s Claire are at least more sensible then their friends. But only barely. Meanwhile, the movie quickly reveals that Brady cheated on Claire with Sunny. Why? Because he’s a scum bag frat boy, that’s why. When Claire discovers this, she acts coldly towards her boyfriend. Oh yeah, that’s what a shitty killer animal flick needs: Relationship drama. Since the script is utterly senseless, these disagreements soon dissolve into petty bickering and profanity-laced screaming. I hate it when B-movies do this shit. In-fighting, drama, and shrieking swears are not how you endear your obnoxious characters to the viewer.

Naturally, there are some authority figures floating around inside “Crocodile.” Harrison Young’s Sheriff Bowman appears early on, warning the kids not to drink too much. He floats back into the story from time to time, occasionally providing some hope to the teens’ hopeless situation. Along for the ride is a local gator farmer named Shurkin. He has a personal grudge against Flat Dog, who ate his daddy decades ago. Yep, he’s the Quint in this scenario, proving that movies will never stop ripping off “Jaws.” Except Terence Evans is no Robert Shaw. Yes, of course, he gets chewed apart as well. Neither of these character end up adding anything to “Crocodile” at all. Instead, they only make the movie longer.

All right, so the script, special effects, and acting in “Crocodile” are total shit. But Tobe Hooper is a professional who’s been in the business for thirty years. Surely the movie at least looks good? Sadly, not even this holds true. When the crocodile is chasing after the teenagers, the camera often spazs pathetically. This kind of lame shaky-cam effort doesn’t add any intensity or urgency to the movie. Instead, it just makes the movie look like garbage. If you’re hoping to find some of Hooper’s trademark production design, you’ll be disappointed. Most of “Crocodile” takes place outside. The sets we do get are generic backwoods interiors. Even the opening credits are written in a cheap font, further emphasizing how careless a production this was.

There’s nothing notable about “Crocodile.” Does the film have any value at all, even of the unintentional variety? Occasionally. The redneck fishermen who wreck Flat Dog’s nest are so vocally anti-vegetarian that it becomes amusing. The white toy poodle named Princess somehow survives the whole movie. The dog does this by being smarter then the humans and running away from danger. A real laugher of a sequence has the poodle leaping between the crocodile’s snapping jaws. (John Kennith Muir suggest this is an intentional reference to Hooper’s earlier “Eaten Alive.” This time, the director allows the dog to live.) The funniest scene in “Crocodile” occurs where a stupid victim is tossed into the air by the croc and swallowed whole. Soon afterwards, the reptile vomits up the teen. How did he do this? By spraying the animal’s throat with bug spray. It’s gross but so dumb, it makes you laugh. Sadly, most of “Crocodile” is too boring, too obnoxious to produce much unintentional humor.

This nonsense somehow stretches on for 93 minutes. At least the shitty creature features of the seventies and eighties had the good sense to wrap things up in less then a half and hour. I have no idea why Tobe Hooper took a job like this. Did he need the money that badly? There’s no sign of the talented, fascinating, quirky filmmaker Hooper once was in “Crocodile.” It’s the most dire of direct-to-video horror sludge. It’s boring, annoying, incredibly cheap, and totally lacking in charm or sense. The utter contempt the production company had for the audience is clear. They hated the viewer and, in turn, the viewer hates “Crocodile” too. [Grade: F]

Director Report Card: Tobe Hooper (1999)

15. The Apartment Complex

With the commercial failure of “The Mangler,” Tobe Hooper had finally been permanently banished to the world of television and direct-to-video cinema. Following the 1995 release of that movie, Hooper directed two episodes of “Nowhere Man” and an episode each of “Dark Skies,” “Perversions of Science,” and “Prey.” Many of these shows were produced in the aftermath of “The X-Files” repopularizing spooky TV. So it’s no surprised that Hooper’s next feature length credit would also be made for television. “The Apartment Complex” was produced for Showtime, the same network that aired “Body Bags” five years prior. Though easy to overlook, the humble film may actually be the best thing Hooper has been involved with in years.

Stan Warden is a young man who recently moved to California for education. Pursuing a psychology degree, and wondering what he’ll write his thesis about, he finds money running low. So when he sees an ad in the paper for a position as the manger of an apartment complex, he immediately takes the job. As soon as he enters the complex, he finds the place off-putting. The residents are strange, including a homeless man living outside the building, a pair of models, a man who claims to be a CIA agent, a would-be psychic, and others. After pulling a bloated dead body out of the filthy pool, Stan suddenly finds himself being pursued by police as a murderer. He also begins to wonder if he’s going insane, all by himself or because the apartment is driving him crazy.

“The Apartment Complex” premiered on Showtime on Halloween night of 1999. This certainly suggest the film was intended to be spooky. All the advertisements sell the movie as a thriller. At the start, “The Apartment Complex” certainly seems to be going in this direction. Stan is introduced to the landlord, named Dr. Caligari. Turns out, the man he thought was the landlord was actually someone else entirely. The former tenant of Stan’s room was seemingly an obsessive compulsive man with psychotic tendencies. The residents of the apartment all seem to have ulterior motives, possibly having it out for Stan. There’s a missing room in the apartment, suggesting that there’s something sinister about the location itself. All of this is before the bloated corpse is pulled from the pool. “The Apartment Complex” actually does an alright tone of creating a slightly disorienting tone, drawing the audience in.

However, these elements are eventually revealed to be something of a misdirect. “The Apartment Complex” isn’t a horror movie at all and only marginally qualifies as a thriller. Instead, the movie is most focused on quirky comedy. The police pursue Stan with such dogged determination that it becomes funny, as they dig up his apartment and confiscate his stuff. The apparent psychic living in the building attempts to seduce Stan, stripping down to the nude in his bed. The romance Stan potentially forms with one of the tenants is sidelined by her boyfriend, a bizarre macho caricature. Despite the murdered body, there’s little grisly about “The Apartment Complex.” Instead, the movie develops a friendly, offbeat tone that is inviting to viewers. The titular location is weird but you kind of enjoy spending time there.

The most consistent directorial trademark throughout Tobe Hooper’s career has been his interest in expressive set design. Though it’s never really gone away, it’s usually harder to spot in his television credits. This isn’t the case with “The Apartment Complex.” The landlord being named Dr. Caligari is only the most obvious shout-out to Expressionistic cinema. The swimming pool, an important plot location, has an odd, triangular shape. The buildings jut out at off-center angles. The hallways even directly recreate “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari’s” angular set design. The individual rooms are often packed with small details, granting a lot of personality to the room.

While its script is comedic and its story is often morbid, “The Apartment Complex’s” tone often borders film noir. Stan frequently narrates the story, contemplating his situation, his slipping sanity, and whether or not he can ever figure out his thesis. This narration is, more often then not, very distracting. it often feels like it was added to the movie after the fact. However, it points towards the movie’s noir aspirations. The photography often drapes the characters in expressive shadows. Mark Adler’s score is filled with boozy saxophone and waltzing brass, which also recalls noir. While more a goof on the neo-noir movement then a proper entry in it, “The Apartment Complex” gleefully adds this to its tonal mix.

If there’s any element of “The Apartment Complex” that is overdone, it’s Stan’s psychology background. He often chit-chats with a bust of Sigmund Freud. While at school, he watches mice navigate a maze. His monologues directed at the mice often pair with the movie’s plot turns. That self-reflective attribute builds towards the final moment, where the title is revealed to be a pun. The apartment building is often compared to the mazes the mice are seen wandering. While the story happily puts Stan through absurdist hell, the apartment complex is ultimately too appealing a location. There’s no threat of the main character going insane.

As an thespian, Chad Lowe is not especially well regarded. He’s most well known for having a more famous and successful older brother. (Or maybe for being Hilary Swank’s ex-husband.) However, as Stan Warden, Lowe gives a solid performance. He’s funny, often responding to the story’s unexpected turns with bafflement. He mines decent laughs from the character’s confusion. He also sells the affection Stan develops for the apartment’s tenants in time. Lowe ultimately proves to be compelling, calmly guiding the viewer through the movie’s goofball world.

Lowe also has decent romantic chemistry with Fay Masterson as Alice, the tenant that eventually wins his heart. Despite the movie’s heightened world, Masterson is one of the more grounded characters. She’s game, leaping into another actor’s arm and spending a portion of the story in a skimpy nightgown. Patrick Warburton plays her boyfriend, Morgan. Warburton has a hugely affable comedic presence, often using his baritone voice to get big laughs from simple lines. In “The Apartment Complex,” Warburton plays a bully. He beats up any man who he thinks is interesting in his girlfriend. Late in the film, it’s implied that he beats her too. While an unpleasant character, Warburton’s talent goes a long ways towards making Morgan seem off-beat and quirky, instead of just outright unlikable.

There are other notable faces living in the apartment. Amanda Plummer plays Miss Chenelle, the psychic that lives there. Plummer’s naturally eccentric energy is well suited to this project. She delivers all of Chenelle’s dialogue with a spacey affectation, managing to make simple lines rather funny. She’s also oddly sexy in the part, which peaks during her extended nude scene, appearing on Lowe’s bed with the intention of seducing him. Another familiar performer is R. Lee Ermey as Frank Stanton. Stanton claims to be a former CIA agent and seems to enjoy spying on the other tenets. He’s ultimately proven to be harmless, even likable. Ermey gets some of the film’s funniest lines, such as a reoccurring line about a chase lounge. By the end, he even becomes likable, his gruffness hiding a friendly heart.

“The Apartment Complex” fills even the furthest corners of its ensemble cast with likable characters. Tyra Banks seemingly plays a version of herself, an up-and-coming model living in the low rent housing. Banks has some okay comedic chops. Her roommate is a female body double, who introduces herself to Stan by beating him up. The detectives who harass Stan are played by Ron Canada and Miguel Sandoval, both of whom get some laughs. Jon Polito appears as Dr. Caligari, happily playing up the character’s cheapskate personality. Obba Babatunde plays Chett, the homeless man, providing some likable unhinged elements to his few scenes.

There’s a free-floating absurdist streak throughout “The Apartment Complex” which manifests itself in unexpected ways. At one point, Stan receives a strange package. Inside is a boa constrictor. It escapes the box, slithers into the complex’s plumbing, and pops up during important times. After the dead body is fished out of the pool, somebody slips sunglasses onto his face and cigarettes into his lips. It seems likely to me that “The Apartment Complex” was meant to launch a series. Many of these elements are left unexplained, probably with the intention of building upon them in an on-going story line. Since that TV show never appeared, these dangling plot threads instead add to the movie’s earnestly quirky, goofy atmosphere.

I expected “The Apartment Complex” to be a horror film or, at the very least, a thriller. The murder mystery aspect of the story is resolved in a free-wheeling way, practically being unimportant to the rest of the plot. That’s because the dead body in the pool, and the question of who is responsible, isn’t the reason to watch “The Apartment Complex.” Instead, the TV movie works because of its likable off-beat tone and its cast of memorable characters. I have no idea if the movie would’ve worked as a series. However, the film is solid enough that I probably would’ve watched it. By no means a masterpiece, “The Apartment Complex” is still the best movie Tobe Hooper has made in quite some time. [Grade: B]

Director Report Card: Tobe Hooper (1995)

14. The Mangler

People sometimes make fun of Stephen King. I’m not the world’s biggest fan but, for his many flaws, he’s usually good for coming up with a really punchy, one-line synopsis. “Alcoholic family man goes crazy in haunted hotel.” “A small town is taken over by vampires.” “Writer is held hostage by psychotic fan.” You get the idea. King’s tendency for easily understood premises has clearly contributed to his success. By the same accord, that habit sometimes produces stories so high concept, they read like parodies. “How about a vampire who’s also a pilot?” “What if cellphones turned people into literal zombies?” “What about a murderous industrial laundry press?” Which brings us to “The Mangler,” the last of Tobe Hooper’s films to get a proper theatrical release.

Something horrible has happened at Gartley’s Blue Ribbon Laundry. Sherry Gartley, the niece of the business’ elderly owner, cut her hand on the industrial laundry’s machinery, splashing blood on the tread. Later that same day, a co-worker is dragged into the press, her body torn apart and horribly mangled. Grisly accidents continues to happen. Alcoholic cop John Hunton investigates, suspecting an ominous link between the Gartleys and the huge machine. His brother-in-law Mark, meanwhile, suspects that the laundry press is possessed by a demon. They’re both right. The Mangler’s murderous ways are connected to the occult dealings of the Gartley family.

While reviewing “I’m Dangerous Tonight,” I commented on the perils of making your horror movie about an inanimate object. In that movie, someone had to be wearing the cursed dress for its evil properties to take effect. “The Mangler” has a similar, but bigger, problem. The movie’s threat is a giant, immobile piece of machinery. What the Mangler does to its victims is incredibly grisly. But they have to get close enough to the machine for that to happen. They have to get a limb or bit of clothing caught in the gears. Therefore, the script forces characters to repeatedly get close to a machine that’s proven to be deadly. This doesn’t make the cast look very smart. The screenplay makes several awkward attempts to get around this issue but ultimately can’t defeat it. The simple truth is a stationary object can only be so threatening.

In “Poltergeist,” Tobe Hooper incorporated a message about big business not caring for the little people. In “The Mangler,” he revisits a similar theme. The film begins with the floor manager in the laundry screaming at his employees to pick up the pace. After Sherry cuts her hand, she’s told to get back to work. After Mrs. Frawley is torn to pieces, the factory closes down for a few hours before opening again. There’s another accident, several workers being burnt by hot steam, which doesn’t even illicit that much of a response. Every time one of these “accidents” happen, Mr. Gartley screams about productivity being interrupted. The money makers care so little about their employees that their deaths are only inconveniences. It’s not subtle but it does show that the story had some potential to say something deeper.

Truthfully, the film’s theme seems in service of a goofy pun. After the first death, the police insist a safety inspector, a judge, and a sheriff investigate the scene of the violence. After looking around for five minutes, they deduce that nothing illegal happened and that business can resume. Hunton correctly observes that Mr. Gartley owns the cops. Apparently, the entire town of Riker’s Valley is owned by Gartley. That he has some personal information on the town’s officials. In other words, the town’s “dirty laundry” runs directly through Gartley’s Blue Ribbon Laundry.I guess an obvious narrative pun like this was unavoidable, given the subject.

Despite having these two separate subtexts surging under the main story, “The Mangler” also incorporates a more obtuse theme into the film. John Hunton is haunted by the death of his wife. It’s why he drinks and why he spends the entire film with a haggard expression on his face. As the story goes on, brother-in-law Mark makes continued references to the laundry press being possessed by a demon. Gee, I don’t suppose somebody could draw a parallel between these literal demons and the personal demons that haunt Hunton? In case you don’t get this, “The Mangler” directly points it out. I wish the movie had ran with the callous businessman subtext instead of these other elements.

“The Mangler” stars Ted Levine. This was only a few years after his role as Buffalo Bill in “The Silence of the Lambs” made him an unforgettable part of pop culture. Levine would go on to play cops and military officers many times in the future, bringing a stately authority and dry sense of humor to these parts. Despite that, Levine’s performance in “The Mangler” is closer to Buffalo Bill. Levine sports a greasy, truly unflattering haircut in the part. He scowls during most of the movie. The character is hung over throughout most of the story, a state that Levine all too realistically recreates. Even after Hunton makes some peace with his wife’s death, Levine still plays the character as a man at the end of his rope. It’s such an odd, unappealing decision, making “The Mangler” an even harder movie to like.

Though Levine was no doubt known in 1995, he’s not the marquee name on “The Mangler.” That honor falls to Robert Englund. This is the third time Hooper has teamed with the man better known as Freddy Krueger, after “Eaten Alive” and “Night Terrors.” Somehow, it might actually be the craziest of the three performances. Englund wears heavy old age make-up, playing the elderly Bill Gartley. The character wears braces on both of his legs, wobbling around with two canes. Several time, Gartley falls down, forcing Englund to pantomime ridiculously as he attempts to regain his footing. Englund yells, shouts, and screams. He acts to the heavens. It’s maybe the most over-the-top performance of Englund’s long career, which is no easy task. His acting is drawing so much attention to itself that it frequently derails an already shaky movie.

“The Mangler” eventually comes to focus on Hunton and Mike’s friendship. As the two investigate the strangeness surrounding the laundry, the film develops into an unexpected buddy flick. Daniel Matmor plays Mike and the character is entirely ridiculous. He often rants about deadly nightshade and the rites of exorcism. It’s all very goofy stuff but Matmor is entertaining in the part. As the virginal Sherry, Vanessa Pike spends most of the movie in an extended traumatized state. Pike is decent in the part, even if she mostly just screams her way through the role.

In order to extend Stephen King’s short story to feature film length, Tobe Hooper and his screenwriters had to add a number of new subplots. A friend of Hunton is the crime scene photographer, who has the winking name of Pictureman. The photographer is dying of lung cancer and grows worst throughout the film. This storyline doesn’t add much to the film. For some reason, Jeremy Crutchley plays the part in extensive old age make-up and cameos without make-up as a coroner. Another unneeded addition to the story is Lisa Morris as Lin Sue, an employee at the factory that Gartley corrupts and seduces. This is another baffling subplot, with seemingly no purpose to the overall film.

“The Mangler” is ridiculous throughout. The film has many moments of unintentional comedy. The first time somebody is sucked into the laundry machine, it’s an okay horrific sequence. As it continues to happen, the audience can't help but chuckle. How often are people going to get hurt in this thing before they learn to stay away from it? That goofiness peaks when Levine’s coat gets stuck in the mangle, leading to him shouting and screaming at the device. Yet even that isn’t the funniest scene of the movie. That occurs when the Mangler’s evil spirit inhabits an ice box. A little kid gets stuck in the box, suffocating. Birds are caught inside, dying. Mike’s hand is clipped by the door. As potentially silly as the idea of a killer laundry press is, a killer freezer is much sillier.

“The Mangler” does feature some of Tobe Hooper’s trademark. The titular beast is an elaborate design itself and housed inside an ominous warehouse. A hospital set features some interesting production design, including arched doorways and checkered floor tiles. Yet the biggest Hooper-esque element is the film’s utterly bonkers last act. The Mangler claims Gartley before the demon is set free. The special effects are incredibly shoddy, the crawling Mangler being created with some laughable CGI. What’s happening is entirely ridiculous, of course, as the evil laundry press chases the heroes through the surprisingly spacious sewer beneath the factory. At this point, the kooky energy inside the film finally rises to the surface, reaching an enjoyable level of goofy genre fun. I have no idea if this was intentional. In fact, I suspect it isn’t. Yet it’s still the only time “The Mangler” really reaches a level of entertainment remotely close to Hooper’s insane eighties films.

So the film isn’t good. “The Mangler” is actually most amusing when it doesn’t mean to be, becoming a true example of “so bad, it’s good” cinema by the end. As a straight horror film, it fails. The plot is thin, the performances are broad, the characters are clichéd, the special effects are cheesy. Yet it’s never boring, which is more then I could say for “Night Terrors” or “I’m Dangerous Tonight.” Sometimes, it’s even giddily entertaining in its stupidity. The film flopped theatrically and naturally received extremely negative reviews. Somehow, “The Mangler” still spawned two direct-to-video sequels, whose connection to the original is apparently tenuous. It’s not a film I can defend from any aesthetic level but I get some enjoyment out of any way. [Grade: C+]