Yet More Bangers n' Mash Episodes

I know I've been chronically forgetting to post the new Bangers n' Mash episodes as they come out. Truthfully, I often forget, as my focus here at Film Thoughts is more on my writing than my podcasting. Luckily or not, depending on how you look at things, JD and I haven't put out many episodes in the last two months.

There are Reasons for this. JD doesn't have as much to watch stuff for the show anymore and, now, I'm at the point where I'm straight-up just inviting other people onto the podcast to make up for this.

Anyway, here's a Nerd Vomit episode from May, where we talk about Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 and some other stuff that seemed relevant at the time.



Here's the more recent episode. I invited Brandon Ledet from Swampflix to discuss the RoboCop franchise. It's actually a good episode. Expect more guest hosts in the coming months.

RECENT WATCHES: Our RoboCop Remake (2014)

When the remake of “RoboCop” was announced, fans were, naturally, very skeptical. In fact, they were hostile. “RoboCop” is a movie that means a lot to a lot of people. It perfectly represents a bygone era of action, special effects, and concise screenwriting. In our PG-13 era of big budget superhero blockbusters, a new “RoboCop” movie represented something very different. So fans became proactive. A group of organizer brought together over fifty different filmmakers. They would put their own spin on every scene from the original “RoboCop,” fans allowed to change up Verhoeven's classic however they wanted. The result, “Our RoboCop Remake,” was released for free on the internet. The film's tagline - “If anyone is going to ruin “RoboCop,” it's should to be us” – perfectly captures the fan feature's absurdist, home-made approach.

Something that's fascinating about “Our RoboCop Remake” is the diversity of filmmaking styles on display. Just to remind viewers where the story is, scenes from the original “RoboCop” occasionally flash on screen. These scenes are then recreated by the fans. Sometimes, the shots are fairly faithful, until something crazy happens. Other times, a more low budget approach is taken. A foam RoboCop suit puts in frequent appearances. Often, the style shifts entirely. Both hand-drawn and CGI animation are utilized. (One exceptionally crude computer animated scene is from Jon Watts, who made the latest “Spider-Man.”) Some scenes mimic 8-bit video games. Others are recreated with action figures. Everything from puppetry to musical theater to interpretive dance makes up the many scenes in “Our RoboCop Remake.”

When you have so many different filmmakers collaborating on the same film, the outcome will inevitably be uneven. Luckily, “Our RoboCop Remake” is amusing more often than not. A number of scenes cleverly play with the format. One moment features the original dialogue but substitutes Kurtwood Smith and Peter Weller with babies. ED-209 machine gunning an OCP executive into bloody ribbons is recreated with muppet-y felt puppets, gore being replaced with fluff. Later, Murphy's murder scene plays out as a rather graceful dance scene. There are two musical numbers, the second of which rather brilliantly features action figures. Two of the funniest gags replaces cocaine with milk and cookies and has RoboCop writing a Christmas letter to his parents. Another scene has a lawyer stepping in, decrying the fan production, and encouraging the viewer to watch the officially sanctioned remake instead.

This stuff is pretty fun but the funniest moments in “Our RoboCop Remake” tend to focus on freewheeling absurdity. Such as when the cops shooting RoboCop argue about how human he is. Emil's robbery of a gas station is interrupted by his sincere appreciation for philosophy. Boddicker's assassination of Bob Morton dissolves into a cocaine-fueled hooker party. RoboCop discussing his remaining humanity with Lewis, brilliantly, dissolves into a discussion about the band Sublime. Two scenes made me laugh incredibly hard. One features ED-209's life flashing before his eyes, before Murphy explodes with him with the anti-tank gun. Another, which practically became a meme unto itself, escalates the original's near-rape scene into an orgy of gunfire and exploding penises.

Of course, not every segment is going to work that well. A few are awkward. Such as the opening, where the newscasters grossly chew on spaghetti, or a clown being inserted into Murphy's dying dream. The contribution from Cracked.com leans heavily on Spielberg references for no reason. Some scenes are overly occupied with potty humor. Dick Jones and Bob Morton's bathroom confrontation relies too heavily on piss and shit jokes. So does a scene devoted to RoboCop farting extensively. The SUX 600 commercial is transformed into a big dick joke. Several scenes are too clever for their own good. Such as a moment devoted to explaining “deconstruction,” which visually overloads the audience. Or Emil's toxic waste-assisted death, which simply warps the original footage.

Still, “Our RoboCop Remake” made me laugh enough to justify the time spent watching it. The collective filmmakers were obviously targeting the remake. The breakdance filled happier ending features an explicit potshot at the new version. Yet the fan film exist less as a rebuttal to 2014's “RoboCop” and more as a loving homage to 1987's “RoboCop.” The creativity on display by some of the filmmakers is very impressive. Who else but true fans would recreate a life-sized replica of ED-209? Or write a song and dance number about shooting baby food jars? Fans of that level should definitely give “Our RoboCop Remake” a look, if only for a few of the specially inspired moments of lunacy. [7/10]

RECENT WATCHES: RoboCop (2014)

During the last decade, seemingly every beloved eighties property was getting rebooted, remade, or at least a brand new sequel. In this rush by studios to exploit any recognizable I.P. they might have, there was no chance that “RoboCop” was going to remain untouched. A remake was first banded about in 2005. The project really started to move forward in 2008. Darren Afronosky was briefly attached to this new “RoboCop,” one of several superhero-themed projects the art house favorite would pick up and then quickly drop. Eventually, the director's chair would be occupied by Brazilian action specialist Jose Padilha. Fans had their fangs out for 2014's “RoboCop.” It was quickly dismissed as another overly slick repackaging of a beloved, gritty classic. Audiences ignore it. A few years later, does this new “RoboCop” deserve a second look?

In the near future, the super-corporation OmniCorp has great success producing robots for overseas military use. The machines are very effective but a law makes it illegal for drones to operate in America. OmniCorp CEO Raymond Sellars thinks of a work-around. What if they put a person inside a robot? After cop Alex Murphy is blown up by a car bomb, OmniCorp gets his wife to sign over his body. Murphy is rebuilt as RoboCop, a cyborg designed to fight crime. Yet Alex maintains his humanity. Soon, struggles arise between Murphy's desire to live a normal life, his need to solve his own murder and OmniCorps' hope for a super successful RoboCop.

The original “RoboCop” was about Alex Murphy being turned into a machine and regaining his humanity. Padilha's remake has practically the opposite idea in mind. 2014's “RoboCop” is about a man loosing his humanity. When this Alex Murphy wakes up as a cyborg, he still has his personality. He tries to maintain a relationship with his wife and son. He begs for the sweet release of death. However, this human element runs counter to the corporate objective. Thus, Murphy's free will is slowly stripped away until he only cares about fighting crime. This doesn't make as much sense to me as the original's concept. But at least it's something different. Padilha's “RoboCop” has its own ideas and objectives. It's not just a meaningless retread of the original.

In fact, the “RoboCop” remake is even somewhat insightful at times. Paul Verhoeven's satire of Reagan's America is traded out for something more contemporary. This “RoboCop” takes place in a world where corporations manipulate politics. OmniCorps wants to sell their kill-bots in America so they can make more money. The entire plot is motivated by corporate greed, RoboCop existing as a means to a billion dollar ends. A very Bill O'Reilly-like television pundit is paid to spew the corporation's message. Meanwhile, there's public debate over whether or not machines can be trusted to protect the innocent and uphold the law. This speaks to America in the 21st century, where drones fly the skies, corporations want to privatize basic public needs, and news networks' agendas oppose the truth.

Sadly, everything that's interesting about 2014's “RoboCop” goes out the window halfway through. At this point, “RoboCop” becomes an uninspired modern action movie. Murphy overcomes his programming and pursues his murderers. He uncovers a police corruption plot, which doesn't go anywhere. He chases after the crime boss that set him up, a seemingly important character that is disposed of without much fanfare. The last third is a blur of overly CGI'd action. Padilha's Brazilian films have been praised for their action but his work here is uninspiring. An Infrared shoot-out is hard to follow. The showdown with three ED-209s is weightless, CGI mayhem. Weirdly, the film reels back the chaos at the very end. Its climax is a totally limp stand-off which ends in the most underwhelming way possible.

Like many modern day, would-be blockbusters, “RoboCop” loads its supporting cast with familiar faces. Look at some of these names. Samuel L. Jackson is effectively shout-y as the O'Reilly stand-in, especially at the end when he unleashes his trademark profanity. Gary Oldman is suitably empathetic as the scientist who oversees RoboCop's programming. Jay Baruchel is amusingly weaselly as OmniCorp's marketing executive. Jackie Earle Haley works well as the former military expert who attempts to train RoboCop, an unlikable asshole. Michael Keaton doesn't ham it up as the main bad guy. Instead, he plays the role as feckless corporate douche bag. All these big names can't make up for Joel Kinnaman, the meat-headed, jocko void of charisma inside the RoboCop suit.

That suit is honestly one of the problems I have with the film. As to be expected, this “RoboCop” is nowhere near as interesting to look at as the original. Initially, the new RoboCop design doesn't look that different from the original. It's a fairly stream-lined modern version of the classic suit. That is until they paint the guy black. The remake tries to pass this off as a joke but it can't disguise what a boring design the modern RoboCop is. For another example of the remake's uninspired aesthetic, look at the updated ED-209. This ED is Jeep brown without the personality of the original. The remake mocks the “Transformers” movies which is funny, since its ED-209 looks like he'd fit right in with the Bayformers.

Many die hard “RoboCop” fans hated the remake. Which is an instinct I relate to. Yet the remake doesn't boil my blood. You can actually see the bones of an interesting film in here. The way Padilha's remake updates the original's satire actually makes it truer to Verhoeven's vision than most of the sequels. But, ultimately, those intriguing elements are sacrificed for the kind of boring theatrics people accuse the whole movie of being. The result is a film that is halfway sort of interesting and is halfway totally boring. Which is something “RoboCop” should never be. [6/10]

RECENT WATCHES: RoboCop: Crash and Burn (2001)

You probably think I watched all of “RoboCop: Prime Directives” in one day. That's how they were often shown on TV. Or at least one nightly until I was done. I wish that was case. In fact, it took me over a week to watch all of the “Prime Directives.” I guess there wasn't much incentive for me to actually watch these things. For all the clear effort that was put into making “Prime Directives” faithful to the original, it was difficult for me to become excited about the conclusion. So here we finally are, at “RoboCop: Crash and Burn,” the final installment of the mini-series. Would the story finally come together into a solid whole at its conclusion? Well, I don't want to disappoint anybody...

“Crash and Burn” begins with RoboCop, James Murphy, and super-thief Ann heading towards OCP head-quarters. There's only a few hours until SAINT, Damian Lowe's artificial intelligence, takes over the city. Unbeknownst to Lowe, SAINT has been infected with the matter destroying virus Legion. Dr. Kaydick, protected by the still brainwashed RoboCable, are also on their way to the tower. As the timer counts down, rivalries come to a head. The two RoboCops face off. Ann and her ex-husband fight to the death. And Lowe wars for control of OCP with Cable's own ex-wife.

Here's a big problem with “RoboCop: Prime Directives.” Throughout the mini-series, a number of subplots have been teased. Throughout each installment, we've gotten small updates about Lowe's corporate takeover of OCP, about SAINT, about Alex Murphy's son, and about Kaydick and Ann's war over their daughter. Instead of delivering a satisfying conclusion to these lingering plot points, “Crash and Burn” just tosses everything together. Lowe is awkwardly disposed of, literally getting pushed down an elevator shaft. Kaydick and Ann's fight takes place apart from the rest of the story. James Murphy is just shuffled from scene to scene. Only SAINT becomes a truly pivotal story point, as the corrupt AI drives the entire episode.

Throughout my previous three reviews, I've mentioned how the action sequences in “Prime Directives” were rarely very satisfying. This trend, unfortunately, continues into the final act. Far too much of “Crash and Burn” is devoted to the fight between RoboCop and RoboCable. The battle between them stretches on for so long, that I honestly forgot why they were fighting in the first place. The degree of free will Cable has seems to vary from scene to scene. The non-stop fight actually leads to the two RoboCops being knocked unconscious for a while. As underwhelming as that fight is, it's still better than the fight between Ann and Kaydick. The two jump, kick, and wrestle with each other for minutes on end. Julian Grant tries to spruce up this scene with slow motion and shaky-cam, which only emphasizes how lame the fight is. (This, combined with Ann's leather outfit and sunglasses, makes it clear that Grant was emulating “The Matrix.”)

As “Crash and Burn” nears its conclusion, the mini-series attempts to put a bow on Alex Murphy's character arc. RoboCop spends, more-or-less, the entire film getting the shit kicked out of him. This makes the conclusion, where he is knocked unconscious and someone else saves the day, even more disappointing. Cable's final fate is very easy to foresee and any meaning his actions might have had are undermined by some epically shitty CGI. In the final moment, RoboCop regains his humanity and reconnects with his son. Which would be fine, if the original movie didn't end on a similar point. I will give the writers credit for bringing the whole prime directives thing back around.

During these reviews, I haven't mentioned some of the weird, minor things about “RoboCop: Prime Directives.” Like the oddly fitting spaghetti western-style score or a scientist who walks with a cane literally being named “Hobley.” Having watched the entire mini-series, I can now roundly declare “Prime Directives” another mediocre “RoboCop” spin-off. The filmmakers' hearts were in the right place but a lack of money, time, and skill undid these intentions. I guess “Meltdown” was the best installment, with “Crash and Burn” being the worst, but they all rate about the same for me. Having said that, I suspect if I had seen this show as a teenager, during a lazy Sunday while munching on chicken wings and mozzarella sticks, I probably would've dug it. Which is to say: “RoboCop: Prime Directives” is great if you have nothing better to watch or nowhere else to go. Consider the show damned with faint praise. [Crash and Burn: 4/10] [RoboCop: Prime Directives: 5/10]

RECENT WATCHES: RoboCop: Resurrection (2001)

I'm beginning to question how the creators of “RoboCop: Prime Directives” picked the subtitles for each installment. “Dark Justice” made sense for the first movie, as the plot concerned a vigilante. The second and third episodes, “Meltdown” and “RoboCop: Resurrection,” seem to me like they should be switched. The second part concerned a character returning from the dead. The third part revolves around RoboCop's systems being completely torn down. Maybe they just decided it was catchier this way? Either way, “Resurrection” continues the “Prime Directives” series' attempt to follow the lead of the original, low budget and lack of talent be damned.

Last time we saw RoboCop, he was fleeing with Cable into the ruins of Old Detroit. “Resurrection” picks up there, both cyborgs being pursued by OCP shock troops. Murphy's power cells are nearly depleted, his life endangered. The two are soon separated. RoboCop is rescued by the band of mutant thieves he met last time. Cable, meanwhile, is abducted by Dr. Kaydick, a mad scientist with a grudge against the whole world. Kaydick manipulates Cable by implanting a kill switch in the cyborg's brains. Soon, the two RoboCops are once again turned against each other.

It seems every episode of “Prime Directives” is more action-packed than the one before it. “Resurrection” begins with a lengthy sequence of Cable gunning down the OCP men. The film ramps towards its conclusion when RoboCop drives a muscle car into a warehouse. This leads to another big sequence, with both RoboCops shooting yet more OCP goons. While this goes on, Kaydick and his ex-wife Ann – that's one of the superpowered ladies – have a kung-fu fight. The film even attempts some Verhoeven-esque ultra-violence. A bad guy gets his arm blasted off before Cable beats him to death with a sledgehammer. There's a problem though. Director Julian Grant's grasp on action is unimpressive. He employs slow motion too often, creating a melodramatic tone. The pacing is awful, as the action scenes drag on and on.

Something “Prime Directives” has lacked up to this point is a decent villain. Damian Lowe is  too smarmy and Bone Machine was laughable. “Resurrection” introduces Dr. Kaydick. If you watched a lot of genre television in the nineties, you might recognize Geraint Wyn Davies from “Forever Knight” and “Dracula: The Series.” Kaydick is a goofy character. A former OCP scientist, he's responsible for the Old Detroit thieves' superpowers. Kaydick can also run fast and shoot lightning bolts. His ridiculous plan involves a virus that infects both computers and people, an invention that stretches believably even for a sci-fi show. The writing is weak but Wyn Davies happily hams it up. He sports a perfectly demented grin and delivers all his dialogue in a horse whisper. If nothing else, a half-way decent villain centers the convoluted story a bit.

Speaking of the convoluted story! In its third part, “Prime Directives” is finally starting to do something with the various subplots it's set up. The last part concluded with James Murphy discovering RoboCop is his father. Throughout “Resurrection,” James insist he doesn't care about his RoboDad, helping OCP track him down. Yet, when they come face-to-face, his story changes. “Resurrection” also sees Lowe's advanced AI, SAINT, automating most of Delta City. By the end, the program has adsorbed Kaydick's killer virus, presumably setting up the last installment. This stuff is middling at best but at least the story is moving forward.

“Prime Directives” is still making attempts to follow the spirit of the original “RoboCop.” Satirical commercials play throughout, including a gag about Lowe replacing all the newscaster with clones of the same woman. Yet the mini-series' own mythology receives the focus here. I can't say I'm too interested in John Cable struggling with his robotic state or Kaydick stealing his daughter away from his ex-wife.  The seams in the acting are starting to show too, as Page Fletcher becomes a weaker RoboCop with every new installment. Still, I'm almost at the end of “Prime Directives” so I might as well wrap it up. [5/10]

RECENT WATCHES: RoboCop: Meltdown (2001)

The first episode of “RoboCop: Prime Directives” set up multiple story ideas the mini-series could utilize in future installments. Would the second episode revolve around the SAINT artificial intelligence, invented by an ominous OCP executive Damian Lowe? Or would the focus turn to James, Alex Murphy's adult son, still unaware that his dad is RoboCop? Both of these ideas are advanced in “RoboCop: Meltdown” but they're mostly saved for the end-of-the-episode cliffhanger. Instead, “Meltdown” focuses on Murphy's relationship with John Cable, his former partner that he was forced to kill in “Dark Justice.”

“Dark Justice” ended by hinting that Cable may be resurrected as the next RoboCop. This comes to past in “Meltdown.” After a trio of superhuman thieves break into OCP, Cable's wicked ex-wife wants to get rid of Robo. So she builds her recently deceased husband into a lookalike cyborg and has him attack OCP's CEO. The original RoboCop is declared a public menace. He is now pursued by RoboCable and a team of soldiers trained to take down cyborgs. While on the run, RoboCop ends up in the slums of Old Detroit, befriending one of the thieves that got him into this mess in the first place.

One complaint I had about “Dark Justice” was the relative lack of action. “Meltdown” certainly fixes that problem. The episode begins with the thieves turning the OCP building's security against itself. Several cops are sliced in half by high-powered lasers! Later, RoboCop tangos with the superhuman ladies. The episode concludes with him gunning down the cyborg kill squad. However, don't get too excited. “Prime Directives” still looks and feels incredibly cheap. The opening barrage of laser-assisted dismemberment is brought to life with some dodgy CGI. The fight between RoboCop and the thieves mostly involves him standing still while the women shoot shitty-looking lightning at him. The climatic shootout is handled better but still features some weak action direction from Julian Grant. He utilizes slow-mo and shaky-cam too often to cover up the show's obvious budgetary limitations.

I suspect the main attraction “Meltdown” offers undiscriminating fans is the promise of two RoboCops fighting each other. RoboCable looks just like Murphy's RoboCop, except with a darker, shinier armor and two guns. The Robo-on-Robo action, it may not surprise you to hear, is fairly unimpressive. The first big confrontation between the two involves Murphy standing still while Cable pelts him with machine gun fire. (Bizarrely, groups of innocent bystanders who were not there the moment before are endangered by this.) This results into a painfully slow foot chase. The car chase that follows is slightly more entertaining, even if it liberally indulges in car chase cliches. The second fight is more successful, as the two cyborgs toss each other through walls.

The second part of “Prime Directives” does expand on the series' world a little bit. The second half is set entirely within Old Detroit. Murphy even visits the old police station, which the mini-series does a decent job of replicating. Old Detroit is depicted as post-apocalyptic, the citizens gathering in seedy clubs and crowded markets. That's fine but the episodes other contributed to the series' mythology is baffling. The thieves that attacked OCP in the first scene have superpowers. They can produce lightning, morph into shadows, and run super fast. RoboCop befriends the young daughter of one of the thieves, who also has these abilities. If any explanation is ever offered for these powers, I missed it. Moreover, the superhuman individuals seem to exist mostly so the mini-series can indulge in half-baked special effects.

Despite its obvious flaws, I do like “Meltdown” slightly better than “Dark Justice.” The second episode is a little more faithful to the original film's tone. There's more blood. There's even some nudity, thanks to two random strippers. The second episode leans on the satirical commercials more. The opening news broadcast paints RoboCop as a hero. After OCP turns on him, the same programs talks about what a menace he is. They even sell a compilation movie of RoboCop's most violent moments! There's some other amusing stuff. A tabloid investigator sneaks into the police station, snooping around the lab RoboCop sleeps in. Amusingly, every time the reporter says something, a corresponding infographic appears at the bottom of the screen. In the back half, there's a commercial for a kids cartoon where a psychotic RoboCop fights “homeless ninjas” and a Furby-style toy that, the small print reveals, may cause seizures. It's not as smart as Ed Neumeier's writing but at least the mini-series is trying to keep up. (Amusingly, the commercials make references to antiqued technology like VHS and pagers. Canada really is another country, isn't it?)

Predictably, “Meltdown” concludes with Murphy reaching Cable's inner humanity and the two RoboCops teaming up. Perhaps showing the filmmakers' pretensions, a quote from Erich Fromm flashes on screen before the credits roll. The problem is, the quote is misattributed to Henry David Thoreau! I'm pretty sure Thoreau never wrote about robots. “Prime Directives” improves slightly in its second part but it's not enough to turn my overall opinion on this show around. “Prime Directives” is still a very cheaply made attempt to cash in on the “RoboCop” brand name. Here's hoping it gets better in the second half. [5/10]

RECENT WATCHES: RoboCop: Dark Justice (2001)

At some point in the early 2000s, I was exploring the new video store that opened up in my home town. Sitting on the new releases shelves was a quartet of titles that intrigued me. There were, seemingly, four brand new “RoboCop” movies. I guess I wasn't interested enough to actually rent them though. Years later, I would discover just what the hell these movies were. Following the collapse of Orion, the “RoboCop” rights would end up with Fireworks Entertainment, a Canadian television company. A decade after producing the forgotten “RoboCop: The Series,” Fireworks' right to the series were about to expire. Hoping to squeeze a little more blood from that stone, they produced a four-part television mini-series entitled “RoboCop: Prime Directives.” Each episode was feature length and released individually in the States. The first of which was “Dark Justice.”

“Prime Directives” seems to treat the previous “RoboCop” sequels in broad strokes. OCP is still in business, which would seem to contradict “RoboCop 3.” Yet the Cadillac Heights slums so pivotal to that film are also referenced. Either way, the mini-series is set a decade after RoboCop first came online. OCP is suffering corporate re-shuffling and, once again, nearing bankruptcy. Meanwhile, RoboCop is dealing with a new dangerous breed of criminals and feeling obsolete. A vigilante calling himself Bone Machine is killing bad guys. RoboCop hunting the killer brings him to John Cable. Cable was Alex Murphy's partner but he has no idea that Murphy is now RoboCop. Soon, the two come into conflict.

All of “Prime Directives” was directed by Julian Grant. Grant previously directed “Electra,” an erotic thriller starring Shannon Tweed, and “Airborne,” a low budget action flick starring Steve Guttenberg. Grant insisted “Prime Directives” would be more faithful to Paul Verhoeven's original than the sequels were. Well, “Dark Justice” does lean heavily on a condescending television news program. Which is a decent attempt at replicating the original's satire. Don't expect any ultra-violence though. The action is pretty anemic. There's only two real action scenes. RoboCop fights some mad bombers in the beginning and Bone Machine in the last act. During the former, he spends most of the fight knocked out on the floor. During the latter, he fidgets around in a dark warehouse. Not exactly the most impressive action sequences.

The underwhelming action is a symptom of “RoboCop: Prime Directive's” primary problem. It's so cheap, you guys. OCP head quarters is primarily composed of a series of board rooms and overly dark offices. The police station seems to have one office and a hallway. RoboCop spends most of his time sitting in that fancy chair that monitors his computer systems. There's a long – way too long – scene devoted to two OCP executives talking in an elevator. As I said, the big finale takes place in a shadowy warehouse. Which is the favored location of many low budget action flicks. Bone Machine's equipment is composed of cheesy looking machine guns and a goofy skull mask. The producers clearly didn't have much money to work with.

There's another indication of “Dark Justice's” minuscule budget. Much of the episode is devoted to a lengthy flashback. To Alex Murphy and John Cable's days as partners, before Murphy transferred to the Old Detroit station. In other words, there are long scenes that are less “Robo” and more plain “Cop.” (Even these scenes are very cheap, as a dog is played entirely by off-screen sound effects.) Yet “Dark Justice” is mildly interesting as a prequel to “RoboCop.” After all, we've never seen much of Alex Murphy's time before becoming RoboCop. Murphy and Cable uncover a cannibalistic serial killer. Murphy is reluctant to use deadly force, showing his clear morals. These flashbacks mostly set up a scenario during the climax. But, on their own, this does shed some light on an underexplored area of the franchise's history.

“Prime Directives” first tried to lure back Richard Eden, the actor who starred in “RoboCop: The Series.” When that didn't work out, they got Page Fletcher. Fletcher might be recognized for his starring role on eighties horror anthology show, “The Hitchhiker.” (Coincidentally, Paul Verhoeven directed an episode of “The Hitchhiker,” giving Fletcher a vague connection to the original film.) Page does okay in the part. As RoboCop, he sports an oddly robotic voice. His performance isn't as disciplined as Peter Weller, lacking the trademark stiff movements. However, I do like the tired quality Fletcher brings to the part. This is an exhausted RoboCop, worn down by years of misuse, wondering what purpose his life now has.

“Dark Justice” is obviously meant to set-up further adventures. There's a number of plot points left unexplored. Such as Murphy's now adult son working for OCP, totally unaware of what became of his father. Or Damian, a sneaky OCP executive creating a sinister computer program named SAINT. These scenes often distract from “Dark Justice's” primary plot, the conflict between RoboCop and Cable, and the hunt for Bone Machine. As a stand alone film, “Dark Justice” is mildly distracting but a little too cheap to be truly effective. Hopefully “Prime Directives” will get better as it goes on. [5/10]

RECENT WATCHES: RoboCop 3 (1993)

Orion Pictures were determined to make “RoboCop” into a franchise. After “RoboCop 2's” box office success, the company went right to work on a second sequel. “RoboCop 3” was filmed in 1991, a year after part two came out. Despite disliking how his script was mangled last time, Frank Miller was lured back to write. Fred Dekker, director of cult hits like “Night of the Creeps” and “The Monster Squad,” was hired to direct. A big budget sci-fi/action sequel could've been a breakthrough for the cult filmmaker. Instead, the producers demanded a family friendly flick. Once again, Miller's script was butchered. Orion went bankrupt and “RoboCop 3” wouldn't come to theaters until 1993. When the sequel was finally released, the reviews were bad and the box office was worst.

OCP has fallen on hard times and is facing a corporate buy-out from the Japanese. The mega-conglomerate needs Delta City, the high-tech metropolis built atop Detroit, ready immediately. OCP sends in the Rehabs, their personal army, to forcibly evict the residents out of the city's slums. An underground rebellion has cropped up, to protect the citizens and oppose the Rehabs. While in the area to fight gang members, RoboCop ends up between the Rehabs and the rebels. After Anne Lewis is shot dead, RoboCop finds himself aligned with the resistence and standing against the corporation that made him.

A subplot in “RoboCop 2” took aim at moral guardians who wanted RoboCop to be less ultra-violent. Orion's producers were less self-aware than they appeared. In the wake of “RoboCop: The Animated Series,” a franchise defined by its gore was retrofitted to be kid friendly. Thus, “RoboCop 3” features few squibs and no graphic violence. The toning down doesn't stop there. The satire is reeled way back. We get one satirical commercial, an attempt by OCP to sell the Rehabs to kids. The movie ratchets up the goofiness. Such as the ridiculous mohawked gang members or a sequence where RoboCop drives an exploding pimp mobile. Most embarrassing of all, RoboCop gets a kid sidekick. She's called Nikko and she can't be older than ten. Yet she's such a genius that she can hack ED-209 with ease. She's the worst kind of overreaching kid sidekick, designed to be too precocious, too brilliant.

Despite a script obviously hassled by meddling executives, “RoboCop 3” does start with an interesting idea. A key scene puts the cyborg once known as Alex Murphy in a tricky scenario. On one side is a church full of innocent homeless people. On the other side is OCP's private army. He's pulled between two of his prime directives. How can he both protect the innocent and uphold the law? It's an interesting idea that “RoboCop 3” quickly scraps. After Anne is killed, RoboCop has his programming rewritten so he can get revenge on OCP and the Rehabs. I suppose, if the franchise was going to continue, RoboCop taking on OCP head-on was inevitable. When “RoboCop 3” has the hero marching into the corporate head-quarters with a flamethrower, it's taken things too far.

“RoboCop 3” was made for 10 million less than “RoboCop 2.” This is evident in a few ways. The special effects aren't as strong. ED-209 is still brought to life by Phil Tippet's brilliant stop-motion work. However, the dim-witted robot only appears in two brief scenes. RoboCop doesn't appear on-screen until ten minutes in. He doesn't actually do anything until the twenty minute mark. By the time RoboCop straps on a jet pack, the limitations of the budget become especially apparent. The action, overall, is forgettable. Fred Dekker wanted to hire a Hong Kong stunt team. However, Orion couldn't afford that. So the action is pretty weak, too often reduced to guns going off and people falling down. One really awkward scene has RoboCop shooting a gun out of a bad guy's hand, to embarrassing effects.

Another serious sin “RoboCop 3” commits is recasting the main role. Peter Weller was unavailable, due to filming “Naked Lunch” at the same time. Robert John Burke, a character actor who had starred in two Hal Hartly movies and “Dust Devil” by then, filled Weller's suit. Burke does a decent job of replicating Weller's robotic movement. However, he doesn't bring the same pathos to the part, his hands shackled by a thin script. There's some other talent in the cast. Nancy Allen agreed to appear only if they killed her character off. Allen, fittingly, seems deeply disinterested in what's happening. Rip Torn gets a few funny moments as the gutless CEO of OCP. Mostly, the talented supporting cast – Jill Hennessy, CCH Pounder, Stephen Root, Mako – are wasted in underwritten parts. Hennessy maybe gets the worst of it, as the scientist who befriends RoboCop and the little girl.

In an interview years after the fact, Fred Dekker took full responsibility for “RoboCop 3,” dismissing the narrative that a young director was steamrolled by pushy producers. If you squint, you can see some of Dekker's trademarks shining through. A shot, devoted to RoboCop carrying Lewis' body through a dimly church, recalls Dekker's work as a horror director. The aforementioned OCP commercial is brought to life with some goofy animation, which seems to fit Dekker's style. A plot point that clearly came from Frank Miller are the robot samurais that OCP's Japanese owners send to Detroit. One cool scene has the katana-wielding android straighten his mechanical jaw after getting whacked with a steel pipe. Sadly, this kooky element is underutilized.

“RoboCop 3” flopped but the franchise would continued. A television series would follow the next year, lasting for one season and earning little attention. Even though there's a sea of mediocre “RoboCop” spin-offs out there, the third entry still gets the most hate from fans. Which isn't totally unfair, as “RoboCop 3” is deeply mediocre. It's certainly less awesome than you'd expect a “RoboCop” movie directed by Fred Dekker and written by a pre-insanity Frank Miller to be. If given more time and money, and fewer family-friendly mandates from Orion, those two might've made something special out of this. Instead, they contribute to “RoboCop's” faltering reputation as a series. [5/10]

RECENT WATCHES: RoboCop 2 (1990)

With the commercial success of the original “RoboCop,” a franchise had been launched. This was fitting, as “RoboCop” was basically a superhero movie before such things were in vogue. Despite seemingly being ready made for sequels, “RoboCop 2” went through some speed bumps. Paul Verhoeven was approached to direct but turned the project down, feeling like Orion just wanted to cash in on the first's success. Ed Neumier and Michael Miller's sequel idea was well received but they ultimately left the project due to a writer's strike. Instead, Irvin “The Empire Strikes Back” Kershner was brought in to direct, while comic auteur Frank Miller provided the script. Miller's script was heavily altered by Kershner and the producers, displeasing both Peter Weller and Nancy Allen. The resulting film made money but satisfied few fans.

It's not surprising to read that “RoboCop 2's” screenplay was needlessly shuffled around. The finished film features a weirdly convoluted plot, that is both overwritten and underwritten. It involves a mostly needless subplot about Detroit going bankrupt and the mayor's desperate attempts to keep OCP from buying out the city. This jives badly with an imbecilic attempt by OCP to recreate RoboCop and the main plot, about the cyborg hero fighting an insane drug dealer/cult leader named Cain. These plot lines eventually come together in an exceedingly messy fashion, leading to a last act that is heavy on the action but short on dramatic satisfaction.

Another big problem with “RoboCop2 “ is how it handles Alex Murphy's character arc. The first film ended with the robotic cop regaining his humanity. The sequel could have explored what happened next. Would Murphy try to get his old life back? Part two addresses these questions in a half-hearted fashion. RoboCop is still working for OCP, which seems an unlikely conclusion. He is stalking his wife, driving by her house during the day. This leads to an encounter in the police department between RoboCop and the woman that was his wife. With encouragement from OCP professionals, he tells her to go away, that her husband is dead. And that's the last we hear of that subplot. Instead of building on the original's character development, the sequel intentionally tosses it out.

“RoboCop 2” does explore the conflict between Murphy's human soul and his robotic programming... But in the most awkward fashion possible. After his emotions making him difficult to control – and the bad guys chop him up – RoboCop's three prime directives get expanded to hundreds, many of them conflicting. This leads to fitfully entertaining scenes of RoboCop acting very strangely, weakly disciplining children, reading Miranda Rights to a corpse, and shooting a cigarette out of a smoker's mouth. These moments are funny, and sold well by a typically compelling Peter Weller. There's some decent jabs here at moral guardians who want the hyperviolent RoboCop to be a kid-friendly superhero. Yet the humor ends up meshing roughly with the rest of the film. The sequel's humor, in general, is overdone. Its attempts to copy the original's satirical commercials hit certain notes way too hard.

Being a product of the early nineties, the overblown sequel to the eighties, “RoboCop 2” has to try and top the original. Since it was too dumb to truly top the original's pathos or satire, “RoboCop 2” placates itself by ramping the action up. Some of the action scenes are, admittedly, pretty damn cool. After gunning his way through the bad guys' drug lab, RoboCop chases after Cain on a motorcycle. He gets skidded across a brick wall and eventually plays chicken with the large truck. That stuff is neat. Yet “RoboCop 2's” desire to outgun the original results in violence that is often overly mean-spirited. There's just as much gore but part two lacks Paul Verhoeven's love of theatrical bloodshed. Instead, Kershner's action scenes degrade into RoboCop firing his gun and bad guys bloodily falling down. It's blunt and not nearly as much fun.

“RoboCop 2” pretends to be faithful to the original's social commentary. Yet its basic plot line boils down to that most empty of late eighties/early nineties platitudes. RoboCop says Just Say No. It's no coincidence that the movie's fictional drug, “Nuke,” has the same number of syllables and the same hard k sound as “crack.” Instead of making a point about the impact a society destroying drug had on inner cities, “RoboCop 2” plays anti-drug hysteria totally straight. Nuke is the worst drug ever. It's super addictive and its high is similar to religious awe. The drug turns users into hyper-violent acolytes. RoboCop and all the other cops are disgusted by the mere presence of Nuke. The sequel is attempting to address a serious social woe but approaches the topic with all the subtly of ED-209.

Another thing I dislike about “RoboCop 2” is how it turns OCP's Old Man into a major villain. The original gave the impression that Dan O'Herlihy's executive was at least less evil than his underlings. Part two reveals that the Old Man is even more calculating, cynical, and decadent than Dick Jones. O'Herlihy's performance is entertaining, if nothing else. Nancy Allen is mostly going through the motion, the script not giving Anne Lewis much to do. Delinda Bauer is likably sleazy as the psychologist that chooses Cain to be OCP's next murderborg, even if the character is so dumbly written. There was no topping Kurtwood Smith's Clarence Boddicker but “RoboCop 2” does have a pretty great bad guy. Tom Noonan brings all of his boundless nervous energy to Cain, a totally committed villain whose creepy God complex is only topped by his dependence on Nuke.

In fact, Cain is probably the best thing about “RoboCop 2.” The movie's last act is an orgy of destruction that lacks much meaning. Even from a plot perspective, it's a shaggy mess. However, the giant murderous cyborg is pretty damn cool. Code-named RoboCop 2 – which is a clever way to get the sequel's title actually in the movie – Cain's robo-body is brought to life via more of Phil Tippet's ingenious stop motion. The machine is all snapping claws and blazing chain guns. Despite his bulky size, he quickly navigates elevator shafts and auditorium halls. Tippet even incorporates some humor. When the Old Man foolishly holds up a canister of the drug Cain is dependent on, the robot hungerily snaps his claws. That's just one example of the character and personality Tippet brings to the massive kill-bot.

“RoboCop 2's” score isn't even as good as the original. Instead of reprising Basil Poledouris' brilliant score, Leonard Rosenman started from scratch. His heroic theme is alright but employing a choir, chanting “RoboCop!,” was probably a step too far. “RoboCop 2” is clearly a compromised affair. The script is disorganized. The tone is all over the place. The sequel lacks the original's heart. It does feature some cool action and creature work. Weller and Noonan's performances are worth seeing. Yet “RoboCop 2” is largely lackluster, failing to live up to the majesty of the first film. It's exactly what Paul Verhoeven feared it would be: a quickie cash-in. [6/10]

Director Report Card: Paul Verhoeven (1987)

8. RoboCop

After “Flesh + Blood” opened to lackluster box office, Paul Verhoeven doubled down on his efforts to establish himself in the American film industry. He moved to Los Angeles. “RoboCop” began life as a red hot screenplay written by Edward Neumeier, with the concept expanded on by Michael Miner. After the script was turned down by Alex Cox, it was presented to Verhoeven. He initially threw the script away, partially because he thought the title was silly. However, his wife fished the script out of the trash and got him to reconsider. It was a good call. “RoboCop” would become a rousing success, launching a film franchise that ran for years. Moreover, it remains one of the most iconic films of the 1980s, a landmark in science fiction and action story telling. It also happens to be one of my all time favorite films.

You already know the premise of “RoboCop” but I'll recount it anyway. In the near future, Detroit is a decaying city, full of crime. Massive corporation Omni Consumer Products have privatized the police force. When their initial plan for the future of law enforcement, a robot named ED-209, goes wrong, they move forward on the RoboCop project. Alex Murphy, a hard-working family man and cop, doesn't know any of this. When he's gunned down by psychotic crook Clarence Boddicker, his body is used by OCP as the basis for RoboCop. RoboCop goes to work cleaning up the streets. Yet, as memories of Murphy's past life filter into RoboCop's mind, the cyborg discovers that something more sinister is going on.

When created in 1987, the world of “RoboCop” was a cyberpunk dystopia. Thirty years later, it seems strangely prescient. Detroit really is a city in decline now, that doesn't even have clean drinking water. The police force has become increasingly militarized and the government is actively encouraging the privatization of public services. One prediction of the film hasn't come to past yet but might as well be true. OCP plans to bulldoze Detroit and build a glorious city in its place. A city for the rich that will exclude the poor that lived there once. This latter point is visualized when an attempt rape plays out underneath a billboard for the future Delta City. I don't think Ed Neumeier is a prophet or anything. He simply exaggerated the world as it already existed in the late eighties. And what was ridiculous satire thirty years ago just happened to be closer to realty now.

In 2017, “RoboCop's” status as biting satire is widely recognized. That the film's satiric element was overlooked for years, “RoboCop” being too often dismissed as a brain-dead action flick, really speaks to the myopia of some people. It's not as if Paul Verhoeven is subtle about it. The film's skewering of American foibles circa 1987 is most obvious in its faux television content. We see hilariously exaggerated commercials for massive sports cars or a nuclear war themed board game. The newscaster force smiles onto their faces, staying upbeat and cherry, even while delivering grim news about wars abroad or dying presidents.  The public consumes a crass, sexist sitcom based around a mindless catch phrase. The dual decadent and brainless entertainment clearly points to what America is in “RoboCop's” world: An empire in decline.

“RoboCop's” brilliant script was certainly a contributing factor to the film's lasting cult status. Yet “RoboCop” was also made at the peak of eighties' practical special effects. This resulted in some truly brilliant production design and creature work. Consider RoboCop himself. Inspired by Judge Dredd and Japanese superheroes, the titular character's design is impeccably sleek. Everything about RoboCop is meant to bring smooth machinery to mind. His rounded head and segmented shoulders creates a defined silhouette. The pistons on his legs bring the character's pure strength to mind. The effects work, from Rob Bottin and his team, is truly groundbreaking. After RoboCop removes his helmet, the viewer fully believes that Murphy's face was stretched over a robotic head. I don't know how they pulled that off.

As great as the RoboCop suit is, and I think it's truly great, it's not my favorite special effect in the film. That honor falls to ED-209, Murphy's most persistent reoccurring adversary. ED-209's design is also brilliant, looking like the three-way offspring of a pick-up truck, a Tyrannosaurus Rex, and a Sherman tank. ED-209 has a personality too. His programmed voice barks orders in a harsh tone, when it isn't growling like a monster. Yet ED-209, a top-of-the-line machine, can't navigate something as simple as stairs. When it falls on its ass, it kicks and screams like a baby. ED-209 is brought to life by a beautiful life-sized prop and some brilliant stop-motion effects from master Phil Tippet. Tippet's work contributes much of ED's humorous aspects, creating a life-like, personable character.

All throughout his Dutch films, Paul Verhoeven's visual sense continued to evolve in interesting ways. This developing talent is obvious in “RoboCop.” Compare the somewhat stiff action sequences in “Flesh + Blood” with the shoot-outs here. During the cocaine factory shoot-out, one of the best scenes in the film, Verhoeven's camera gracefully slides through the violence, providing a constant sense of motion. As awesome as the action scenes are, the quieter moments are even more impressive. Such as the scene where RoboCop explores the house that belong to him and his family when he was still Alex Murphy. The film smoothly shifts between what the cyborg is seeing and the memories of his wife and child. It's a gorgeous, touching sequence, powerfully conveying what the character is feeling through purely visual means.

When Paul Verhoeven came to America, he traded the explicit sexual content of his Dutch film for the most American of content: Graphic violence. Verhoeven would push his bloodlust to unseen levels in “RoboCop.” Every bullet blast produces an enormous, weeping wound. Bloody chunks are tossed into the air every time someone is shot. This is most apparent when ED-209 malfunctions. The robot's unintentional victim is reduced to a pile of bloody giblets, a grown man Swiss cheesed into blasted-up meat. Guns aren't the only weapons employed. When RoboCop stabs an opponent, more blood than seems possible spurts out. My favorite bit involves a man driving into a toxic waste bin and stepping out as a melted, mutated man. Who then gets splattered around by a car. It's an incredibly fucked-up scene seemingly inserted for the hell of it. It says a lot about Verhoeven that the only thing his director's cut returns to the film are longer, grislier scenes of carnage.

Still, there are trademarks Verhoeven didn't leave in the Netherlands. The director's Christ fixation remains present. Alex Murphy rises from the dead, making him an obvious Christ figure. Verhoeven points towards this with the cop's extended death scene. He is “crucified,” when Boddicker and his gang dismember him. During his climatic battle with the same villain, he is pierced in the abdomen by a spear, another Christ parallel. Moments before, RoboCop is seen walking on water. Verhoeven sneaks a sex scene into the film using similar tactics. When secluded in a junkyard, Alex Murphy and Anne Lewis share an intimate moment. She helps him straighten his gun, caressing his arm romantically. Afterwards, he can shoot straight. He then blasts a jar of baby food, the goopy contents splattering everywhere. RoboCop can't get laid anymore so this is the closest thing for him.

By 1987, Peter Weller already had one genuine cult favorite under his belt, playing the title character in the delirious pulp adventure “Buckaroo Bonzai Across the Eighth Dimension.” With “RoboCop,” Weller would cement his status as a nerd icon. (It probably doesn't hurt that he's a history expert in real life too.) When first introduced, Alex Murphy is an everyman. He's an energetic cop, who wants to make a good impression on his first day on the job. We don't see much of him in these early scenes but it's evident that he loves his son. After becoming RoboCop, Weller brilliantly creates a new character through his body language. He affects a carefully chosen voice. Every movement is calculated, to display the precision of a well oiled machine. This is evident in the biggest action scenes and the smallest dialogue exchanges. Thought went into every movement Murphy makes. Weller's performance is simply brilliant.

As compelling as Weller's robotic motion are, what truly makes his performance touching is Murphy's character arc. Because “RoboCop” is a story about a man regaining his humanity, a machine realizing its human. A combination of the direction and Weller's performance make RoboCop hugely expressive. Such as when he searches the police archives for the men who killed him. His face never moves and yet we understand his pain. After barely escaping OCP, while heavily damaged, RoboCop removes his helmet and reveals his face. In a touching moment, he asks Anne to leave him alone. As Murphy regains his humanity, Weller integrates more human-like quirks into his robotic performance, visually illustrating the character's transition. At the ending, when RoboCop responds with Murphy's name, his journey back to manhood is completed. Which makes the film touching, even with all its bloodshed.

Weller is backed up by a fantastic supporting cast. Nancy Allen, the former muse of Brian DePalma, plays Anne Lewis. Allen is convincing during her early action scenes, smartly driving a car to get a drop on the bad guys. She's even better when reaching Murphy's humanity. A simple exchange in a hallway speaks volume. Among the OCP lot are several beloved character actors. The sadly late Miguel Ferrer is perfect as Bob Morgan, a spiteful bro of a business executive. He's an ideal villain, someone the audience hates but so entertaining that you still enjoy watching him. Ferrer amusingly hints at Bob's cocaine addiction by repeatedly flaring Bob's nostrils. Ronny Cox, meanwhile, mixes desperation and scraggly psychosis as Dick Jones, a despicable douchbag.

As great as those two are, they are not the best villain in “RoboCop.” Let's give a hand for Clarence Boddicker. He looks like an accountant, wearing a pair of glasses that seem like an odd choice for a thuggish drug lord. This is an intentional subversion, proving that not all hardened criminals look like Danny Trejo. The great Kurtwood Smith makes Clarence Boddicker a slimy little shit, someone who willingly sells out his boss when shoved into a corner. Yet Smith also brings a hilariously sardonic sense of humor to the character. A line like “Bitches leave!” become poetry in his scratchy Midwestern accent. The character is a punishing, sadistic bastard who is only in it for himself. Despite this, there's something oddly lovable about Clarence Boddicker. He's the perfect foil for the upstanding, driven RoboCop.

If I'm saying “RoboCop” has some of the best practical creature effects of all time and one of the best villains of all time, I might as well call its soundtrack one of the best scores of all time. Basil Poledouris had already create amazing scores for “Conan the Barbarian” and Verhoeven's own “Flesh + Blood.” With “RoboCop,” he tops even impressive work like that. The main theme mixes soaring strings with a metallic, hammering bass line. This hints at the dual nature of the protagonist, both man and machine. It also drives the action scenes with an irresistible energy. The quieter moments emphasize the strings, creating a mournful theme for Murphy's melancholic inner life. During the action scenes, Poledouris doubles down on the horns and percussion, creating powerful music to waste goons by. It's probably my all-time favorite score.

“RoboCop” remains a great film satirizing American action movies while also functioning as a perfect American action movie. Its humor is biting and hilarious. Its social observations are still relevant. Its performances are excellent. Its special effects still impress. The action is bold and bloody and unforgettable. The script sneaks a surprising amount of pathos into a hyperviolent story of cyborgs and crooks. One of the best blockbusters ever made, “RoboCop” still satisfies as a crowd-pleaser and as a surprisingly deep vehicle for social commentary. [Grade: A]