Last of the Monster Kids

Last of the Monster Kids
"LAST OF THE MONSTER KIDS" - Available Now on the Amazon Kindle Marketplace!
Showing posts with label showa eiga. Show all posts
Showing posts with label showa eiga. Show all posts

Thursday, September 17, 2026

Halloween 2026: September 17th

 
It begs the same question now as then: Why? Why remake "Psycho," one of the most hailed and studied films ever made by the medium's most lauded master? It will inevitably be compared to the original and found lacking. I suppose the same could be said for making sequels, which didn't stop Universal and produced some interesting results. If a filmmaker was compelled to remake "Psycho," surely it would be out of a desire to explore something unsaid in the original. To go deeper into Norman Bates' twisted world or to reinstate the elements from Robert Bloch's novel that didn't make it to the screen. Instead, Gus Van Sant came to studio head Casey Silver with a pitch for a shot-for-shot remake of Hitchcock's classic. Silver found this to be, quote, "a very strange idea." Van Sant, however, was still riding high on the critical, commercial success of "Good Will Hunting" and apparently could get any crazy idea green-lit. Upon release in 1998, Van Sant's "Psycho" was met with confusion and irritation. Most audience members seemed annoyed that they were presented with an almost identical but obviously inferior version of "Psycho." Critics generally found the project to be pointless, which was probably the consensus opinion. I mean, it would have to be. A 1-to-1 reenactment of "Psycho" could be achieved far more easily, and in a far more satisfying manner, by simply renting "Psycho" from the video store. Why spend 25 million dollars on that and several million more on releasing it? 

Now, Gus Van Sant is an artist, a reputation earned from his prominent position in the New Queer Cinema Movement of the eighties. He has been called upon to explain himself a few times over the years. While he's given vague answers that he remade “Psycho” “so no one else would have to” or by explaining that all remakes are merely “marketing schemes,” his true intentions are observable within the film. Van Sant's “Psycho” is a meta-experiment. If we take the screenplay to a great movie and shoot it in the exact same way as was previously done, will the results still be a great movie? The answer is obviously “no,” that you'll only get a rather literal pale imitation. You would think any filmmaker who has actually done the day-to-day work on the set would understand that. The alchemy happens because of who is there, the choices made in the moments, and copying that is not the same thing as doing it.
 
Nevertheless, I suppose it's an experiment worth trying, simply to prove if it could be done. Or as an expression of the filmmaker's obsessive fixation on the minutia of another work of art. If the stories of Van Sant and company keeping a VHS of Hitchcock's original on set and watching and re-watching scenes right before trying to replicate them are true, I suspect the remake is most a manifestation of that. He wouldn't have been the first nor the last die hard fan to attempt this. However, usually such an experiment is done by kids or students working with what's available to them and not the resources of a major studio with big stars on-screen. It's an exercise done more for the filmmakers themselves, to see if can replicate what made their favorite subject special, to push themselves to that level of greatness. It was presented to a mass audience anyway, with its own degree of pomp and circumstance and pretensions around it. 
 
But, okay, Gus Van Sant. I'll play your game. If the thesis of your “Psycho” is that the people making the film indirectly change it, even when slavishly following the blue print, what does the evidence say? Yes, Van Sant's “Psycho” is different from Hitchcock's, despite the fidelity to the source material. It is noticeably worst. Obviously, a wide released film in 1998 was going to be in color. Unable to replicate the original's stark black-and-white cinematography, the remake instead amps up the color. It makes the interior of the Bates Motel reds, greens, and yellows. The colors of Marion's bright dresses, the clean white of Norman's final prison cell, and Mother Bates' immaculately preserved bedroom are all strikingly colorful. It's not as creepy but it looks interesting, at least. 

Most of the other riffs on what came before are noticeable down grades. This is most obvious in the editing. Amy E. Duddleston cuts the remake faster than the original, managing to shave about three minutes off the runtime. Subtle though it may be, the result feels rushed. This “Psycho” feels impatient, unwilling to sit with its characters as much. I would say it sinks any chances for suspense but that was never possible, because we know every reveal and moment before it comes. The devotion to duplicating the exact camera movements, the smooth pans around Norman as he cleans up the murder scene or peering down as Mother is carried into the fruit cellar, feel less like an organic expression of the story and its themes. It's not careful choices to draw us in. It's choreography, Van Sant and his team doing the Groucho mirror gag with Hitchcock but failing to convince us that we are seeing the same thing. This is also true of the score, Danny Elfman and Steve Bartek brought in to tweak Bernard Herrman's music just enough that you notice it's different but not enough to feel like anything but a glitchy cover.

Despite everyone describing this as a “shot-for-shot” remake, it's not exactly. Minor updates are made to the story, Lila wearing headphones in one scene and the amount of money Marion steals being increased. The late nineties R rating is secured by adding stab wounds, more blood, and Anne Heche's ass in the shower scene. To show  equal oppretunity offense, I guess, Viggo Mortensen's modesty is barely maintained by carefully placed body parts in the opening scene. Most notoriously, we hear Norman tugging on his dick while looking through the peep hole. Imagine the fun the sound designer had trying to find the perfect fap-fap sounds for that moment. These additions certainly don't make the material more shocking or upsetting, while dragging away some of the original's subtly.

The other changes are even more intrusive. The sound design ups the discordant chatter in the background, which is only distracting. Lila entering into the Bates mansion occurs in daylight, rather than night, a choice that is significantly less atmospheric. She also lands a punch on Norman after he's restrained, some ill-made decision to make the character more proactive, I guess. The most baffling choices are surreal visual interludes during the murder scenes. Split-second cuts to a nude woman in some sort of mask or a cow in the middle of the road during Arbogast's face slashing do nothing but make the audience asked why they are there. The faster paced editing renders the tightly-wound frenzy of the shower stabbing to a rejected industrial rock music video. Why set out to make a shot-for-shot remake only to add these sudden swerves? That does nothing but cause the film to fail at its own stated objective, quite confusingly. 

One must be forced to ask another question: Is the “Psycho” remake a prank? Did Gus Van Sant giggle mischievously while burning through Universal's money, as he wankishly played a game of monkey-see-monkey-do with Hitchcock? Perhaps. Vince Vaughn adopts a loose-limbed, cocked hip physicality to Norman. His nervous prater projects more a sense of insecurity than under-the-surface instability. Meanwhile, his body seems squeezed into Anthony Perkins' tight-fitting turtlenecks. The impression is that the serial killer is now a swishy homosexual, giving his face-to-face confrontation with Sam Loomis a new layer. Norman now wears his mother's nightgown when acting out his murderous impulses, a sillier visual that seems to also point towards deliberate camp. The fruit cellar is now a bird-filled, curtain decorated chamber. That suggests a kind of giallo-esque, DePalma like exaggeration. If the remake had embraced that tendency more frequently, I be more charitable to agree with those that enjoy this film as a subversive act of queer parody. 

All the performances seem to have been ramped up a bit. Anne Heche adds a squirrely quality to Marion Crane, which feels like an attempt to reinterpret the character in the more openly neurotic nineties. While the film is ostensibly set in the modern day, William H. Macy is playing Arbogast as even more of a noir throwback. There's a recognizable character actor in most of the supporting roles. Robert Forester as the psychologist, James Remar as the highway patrolman, Phillip Baker Hall as the sheriff, Rance Howard as Marion's boss. All fine performers whose presence are never anything but distracting, a further indication to the viewer that we are watching an elaborate fan film rather than an involving work of art on its own. You really feel that way when Flea, of all people, shows up as Bob, the guy working in Sam's shop. Why, man? Why'd do that? 

And “Why?” is the same question I opened this review with, meaning I'm no closer to finding any deeper meaning in this act of cinematic imitation. Van Sant inserts himself into the space in the original where Hitchcock's cameo was. He is now talking to a rotund man in a hat, a clear stand-in for Hitchcock who is supposedly berating the younger filmmaker. This furthers my feeling that  “Psycho” (1998) is not a legitimate attempt to retell this story. It's not an especially effective act of meta-commentary on the idea of remakes or authorial intent. As a prank, it's not that funny either. I can only conclude that this was some masochistic humiliation for its auteur, Van Sant doing a blasphemous act and luxuriating in how obnoxiously pretentious and pretentiously obnoxious he's being. If you're into that kind of thing, more power to ya but I got little out of it. [4/10] 
 


Ooe-yama Shuten-dôji
 
You might have noticed that I am fascinated by similar folkloric concepts emerging across different, far-off cultures. St. George slaying the dragon to save the princess was likely inspired by Ragnar killing the serpent for Thora. Or Perseus rescuing Andromeda from Cetus... But what of Rama's wife Sita being abducted by demon king Ravanna? Or Māui protecting the bathing Hina from Kuna, the eel god? These are comparable stories that developed independently of each other. The hero, the maiden, and the monster he must save her from is a narrative that resonates deeply within the human soul. In Japan, another island nation often isolated from the rest of the world, there are stories like this too. Susanoo dismembering Orochi for the sake of Kushinadahime is probably the most direct parallel. Consider, also, the tale of Shuten-dōji. A hard-drinking ogre who dwelt on Mount Oe and had a habit of snatching young maidens, actual historical figure Minamoto no Raikō is credited with decapitating the monster. The most famous beat of the story then occurs, as the not-quite-expired head of the beast takes one last chomp at the samurai. Luckily, Raikō wore a couple extra helmets that day, which is all the demon gobbled before it died. It is a beloved legend in Japan, often adapted and referenced across pop culture. One such example is the 1960 film "Ōeyama Shuten Dōji," a samurai-and-kaiju predecessor to Daiei's later "Daimajin" and "Yokai Monsters" series. Since we rubes overseas don't know what the hell a Shootin' DJ is, the film is internationally known as "The Demon of Mount Oe."

Princess Nagisa is the bride to the emperor. After a demonic ox attempts to abduct her, she is transported to the city of Genji and placed under the care of general Raiko. The princess reveals that she is cursed. Demons follow her to Genji. Tsuno, Raiko's greatest warrior, is attacked by a witch and slices off her arm. Bandits, some of whom possess magic powers, torment the village. Nagisa reveals that the emperor stole her from the mountain-dwelling bandit king, Shuten-dōji. He was once human, a disgraced samurai, and is now plotting to kill the emperor with his band of otherworldly cohorts. Raiko is tasked with assembling a team to scale Mount Oe, confront and kill Shuten-dōj, and bring this reign of terror to an end. 

"The Demon of Mount Oe" begins with a heavily stylized rendition of the Shuten-dōji tale as Japanese audiences in 1960 would probably know it. After that wild opening, the film then announced that it's going to tell you "the real story" behind this legend. Yes, the film belongs to that style of post-modernist fairy tale adaptations, an approach surely taken from Matsutarō  Kawaguchi's source novel. This is probably why the sake swilling demon king of the mountain is simply a guy in this version, played by Kazuo Hasegawa in a really cool wig. That approach also assumes the audience is already familiar with the traditional telling of this story. Minamoto-no-Raiko, Watanabe no Tsuno, and the rest of the Four Heavenly Kings are introduced with little preamble. The script weaves a few different legends into the plot, alongside various historical battles. The film stars Raizō Ichikawa and Shintaro Katsu, a few years before headlining two long-running samurai franchises for Daiei. Both actors are put in similar looking period garb, with the same style of make-up on their face. When this is combined with a plot that frequently leaps around in time and location and has a large cast of characters, "The Demon of Mount Oe" proves a little hard to follow for a clueless American like me. 

For the same reasons, it's a bit tricky for me to engage with what is obviously the film's attempt to deconstruct a famous folk tale. All the more so because director Tokuzō Tanaka and screenwriter Fuji Yahiro do not dismiss the otherworldly elements. Shuten-dōji may be human in this telling but he's still backed up by demonic henchmen. Like Kidomaru, who can teleport and turn into that hideous bull demon, and the ninja-like Tsuchigumo, who shoots silk from his fingers before changing into a big-ass spider. The plot concerns folkloric devices like a witch having her true form revealed in her reflection, disguising herself as an old woman to retrieve her detached arm, a sword that glows in the presence of demons, and a magical arrow being delivered by the gods in a dream. This back-and-forth between more grounded elements and blatantly fantastical ones throws me off a little. Maybe the Japanese don't feel the need to distinguish as much between historical fact and legend as we stiflingly literal Americans do. 

Of course, the monster stuff is what got me to watch “The Demon of Mount Oe” in the first place, so I can't complain about its presence too much. Indeed, the fantasy sequences are the best part of the film. Compared to the relatively grounded and black-and-white “The Whale God,” the previous Tokuzō Tanaka film I wrote about, this one is very far-out and colorful. The opening sequence is all surreal lighting and frantic movements. The first appearance of Kidomaru is proceeded by a swirl of colors in the sky. The sequence where Shintaro Katsu meets and fights the witch is lit in bright pinks and purples and shot on an intentionally artificial looking sound stage. When she ascends up into the air and takes him with her, that is achieved in an effect that clearly looks fake but in a playful, dream-like way that really sells that this is a reenactment of an old folk tale. This peaks during the confrontation with Tsuchigumo, whose web of entwining silk are usually accompanied by bright flashes of lights. The giant spider sequence does feature a fairly stiff puppet, whose awkwardly spurts sparks from its mouth and slowly kicks its eight legs. It also takes place on a back-lit night set, with interesting uses of pyrotechnics and cinematography. It's all very stylized and neat. 

For all the verve in its fantastical scenes, “The Demon of Mount Oe” still favors feudal melodrama more than monstery stuff. There are many scenes of court intrigue, two love triangles, and at least one dying declaration of affection. At about two hours, it gets a little long winded at times. Yet the film is also likable in its stylistic bursts. There are, in fact, three separate dance numbers as well, all of which are quite interesting. One of which involves Shintaro Katsu kicking up his heels, if that's something you want to see. “The Demon of Oe” is not as grimly intriguing as “The Whale God” and doesn't feature the crowd-pleasing kaiju destruction of the “Daimajin” trilogy. It's still scratch that itch for me, of seeking another corner of obscure Japanese monster movie action. Also, I've enjoyed how many times this review has given me a chance to type “Shuten Dōji.” It's a fun name! Shoe-ten Doe-jee! [7/10]
 


Thriller: The Double Kill

The episode of “Thriller,” Brian Clemens' British crime and murder anthology from the seventies that has nothing to do with someone whose name is surely Boris Karloff, I watched last year was pretty good. So here's another! “The Double Kill” concerns Hugh Briant, husband to rich heiress Clorissa. The two are fighting more often, as Clorissa uses sleeping pills to soothe her restless mind and Hugh spends all night at poker games. The man has developed a habit of bragging in public about all the riches and wealth in their home and also how they have no locks on their windows. He's hoping a burglar will enter the house, a common crook he can then blackmail into killing his wife. That way Hugh receives her significant inheritance and doesn't have to get his hands dirty. He thinks he's found the man in a shifty-eyed young thief named Max Burns. Max has other plans though, deliberately leaving clues behind that implement the husband. Now Hugh has to enact a new plan, that gets rid of the loose end and clears his name.

“The Double Kill” is a twisty act of misdirection most made worth seeing by Gary Collins' lead performance. The prolific star of film and TV brings his resounding voice to the role of the scheming husband. Collins slithers through every scene, quite confident in his own ability to manipulate those around him. When he gives his proposal to the various home intruders he “auditions,” the certainty and smoothness in his delivery is quite convincing. The script, of course, is build around increasingly upsetting that sense of control. Watching this guy slowly loose his grip on the plan he's cooked up is worthwhile. His facial expressions as the cops reveal each new piece of evidence against him is almost comical in how on point they are. While watching this jerk slowly blow his cool as he's double-crossed at every turn would be fun, Collins' instinct as an actor are sturdier than that. A guy like this isn't going to slip up overnight. This is why Hugh is still toying with Max in their final scene together, still so confident that he can make this work. 

He can't, of course. “Thriller” has a fine twist ending coming the viewer's way. I can't decide if it's a cheat or not. It doesn't depend on misdirecting our attention so much as leaving a very key piece of information hidden until the finale. I didn't see it coming though, so I guess that means the writers got me. “The Double Kill” does keep you guessing, largely because Stuart Wilson as Max is so effectively unpredictable. You are left wondering which of these snakes will come out on top. While the twist is a good one, “The Double Kill” lacks a satisfying punchline of an ending. The implication is that the guilty party will get their comeuppance soon enough but they probably should have shown that on-screen as well. Nevertheless, this is a well assembled and nicely acted bit of seventies pulp, if a bit too stately in its presentation. I usually like the dryness of these British seventies shows but “Thriller” definitely feels a little more dry than the others I've seen. [7/10]
 

 
Friday the 13th: The Series: Shadow Boxer
 
 I love how literal the titles of "Friday the 13th: The Series" episodes tend to be. "Shadow Boxer" is about a cursed pair of boxing gloves that makes the wearer a champ in the ring... At the cost of causing their literal shadow to detach from their body and act upon their anger and resentment, beating the target of that rage to death. The Villain of the Week is Tommy, a wannabe boxer and current janitor at Manny's Gym. After coming across the gloves, he quickly starts winning matches. People around him also begin to die violently, including Manny himself who left the letters T.O. in his own blood at the crime scene. The Curious Goods team are on the case, with Micki pretending to be romantically interested in Tommy in order for Ryan and Jack to get into his apartment. This has unforeseen consequences. 

The rule I laid down last time, that any given episode of "Friday the 13th: The Series" is only as good as whatever baddie the heroes are chasing this week, holds true. If this episode had been made in 2026, the script would probably characterize Tommy as an incel. He's a loner, a smaller-in-stature young male that seems to simmer with resentment at everyone around him. In the gym, he's surrounded by bigger, stronger guys who are better at the sport of punching people into submission than the physically weak Tommy. He glares at Manny's favored student with jealousy and rage. Modern online Tommy would call this guy a "Chad," the Alpha Male that denies him access to that which he believes is his. (Or, since the rival is a black man, he would call him "Tyrone," because incels are also totally absorbed in the hyper-racist rhetoric of the terminally online right.) It's not being an outcast or shrimpy that makes Tommy an asshole. It's his unearned sense of entitlement. Tommy believes he deserves to be a champ. The magic boxing gloves allow him a short cut to achieve that dream of being intimidating and easily cutting his objects of scorn down. The same way an AR-15 does for any bitter, misogynistic manlet. 

While the plot is focused on the ultra-macho world of the gym and the ring, Tommy is still super weird about women. Micki is given the unfortunate task of charming the young psycho. The script doesn't go into it but Tommy is immediately enamored of Micki, presumably because womanly attention is something else he longs for that has been denied him. Probably because he's also a sexist jerk. After sharing one piece of pie, he assumes this female he's never talked to before, who knows nothing about him as far as he's aware, wants to sleep with him. "Shadow Boxer" takes an unexpected turn in the last act. The villain is defeated and the Cursed Artifact of the Week retrieved, the point where this show would normally end. Instead, it goes on for an extra act, Tommy breaking into Micki's apartment. He restrains her in bed and threatens her with a knife, a set-up obviously reminiscent of sexual assault. Denied access to the object he wants, he turns to violence, just like he did with the guys at the gym. Bitterness over not having what he's been taught should be his is the root of Tommy's evil. 

Josh Miller's script is not that deep and "Shadow Boxer" doesn't get into the web of toxic masculinity that births monsters like this. Tommy's rage manifesting as a shadow is a clever, Jungian image but the guy is also a sleazy ass in his regular life. His anger is not exactly repressed. It's mentioned that each of the boxers have nicknames like "Killer" or "Terrific," emphasizing that violence and triumph is what distinguished people in this world. Yet the gym seems pretty chill otherwise, the episode having neither the time nor depth to explore why prizing aggression and victory over everything else produces kids like Tommy. The script is also unaware enough that it depicts Ryan giving Micki a playful smack on the ass as charming male behavior. Which may just be another example of this show seeming to forget that these two are cousins and probably shouldn't have a will-they-won't-they dynamic going on. What's a little incest in-between solving weekly mysteries, ya know? 

As is typical of this show, it eventually gets bogged down in the nonsensical magical rules around its cursed object. Tommy's shadow is beaten back by bright light, leading to a goofy scene of Micki fighting it off with a flash camera. The exact link between the gloves' wearer, the shadow, and the object itself are not always clearly defined. The climax features an especially confusing turn of events, in how Tommy is defeated. Still, this is easily one of the better episodes I've seen so far. It shows that our modern day "crisis of masculinity" isn't anything new, that entitlement and might-as-right attitudes has been producing guys like this for a while. [7/10]
 

Wednesday, October 28, 2020

Halloween 2020: October 28th



As I've pointed out roughly a hundred times already, the horror omnibus movie is alive and well in the 21st century. In fact, it's getting to the point where I'm almost tired of the idea. It seems like just about every spin on the genre has been done at this point. Interweaving stories? Dead and done. Famous directors handling each tale? Driven into the ground. Doing stories based on holidays/letters of the alphabet/found footage? Please. At this point, it must seem like there is no new variation on the “collection of macabre tales” premise. Yet, here in 2020, I think someone has cooked up a clever new take. “Scare Me” played some festivals earlier in the year and picked up decent buzz. Josh Ruben's film would arrive on Shudder a while back and, as Halloween creeps ever closer, this sounded like just the perfect spooky gift to myself.

Fred is a would-be writer, though he's never successfully completed a story. He rents a cabin in the rural countryside, not long after a snow has covered the land. He finds the isolation doesn't help him nearly as much as he hoped. While out on a run, he meets Fanny, an author of a recently published and critically acclaimed zombie novel. Later that night, there's a power outage. Fanny comes over and suggests, out of boredom, that the two tell scary stories in order to pass the time. They weave various tales – about werewolves, creepy grandpas, trolls, demon-possessed pop stars – and are even joined by an enthusiastic pizza boy. Yet, as the night goes on, some tension begins to grow between the two.

“Scare Me” finds a clever riff on the horror anthology premise by approaching it from the inside out. This is not a movie so much about a collection of scary stories. It's about the people telling the scary stories, essentially making it an anthology where the framing device is the main feature. Making this approach even more interesting is how the movie brings the stories to life. As Fred tells his werewolf tale, we hear the sound effects as he dramatically pantomimes. We'll see a werewolf claw reach out of the darkness but mostly it's just the actors, their voices, music and sound telling these tales. “Scare Me” has fun playing with this idea. Most of the stories are cut off before the end, so we never learn the exact details of Fred's werewolf hunter or Fanny's haunted granddaughter. When telling their tale of a troll inside the walls of a “edible basket” business, Fred crawls around and does a creepy voice. This elastic approach to storytelling reaches its delightful peak when a musical number breaks out during the demonic pop star story, a wonderfully unexpected occurrence.

The truth is, though, “Scare Me” isn't actually about its stories. It's about the interaction between the storytellers. From the opening scene, the film has a somewhat shrill sense of humor. Fred's Uber driver tells a rambling version of her own novel, repeatedly mispronouncing James Cameron's last name. Sometimes, Fred and Fanny come across as intensely unlikable people. Fred has some obvious hang-ups about women and a lack of original ideas. Fanny is a snobby hipster at times, dismissing other people's ideas and shitting on “Silver Bullet.” Yet their feuding personalities eventually reveal a mirror into the creative process. Fanny writes stories to attack the injustices she sees in the world, focusing her tales on abusive men and creepy authority figures. Fred writes stories to right wrongs in his personal life, giving himself a more interesting childhood origin or reorganizing romantic turbulence. Both, ultimately, are motivated by largely petty reasons. 

Inevitably, the tension between the two boils over. The differences between the two – Fanny is successful, Freddy isn't, Freddy is a bitter man, Fanny is a vocal woman – only grow more pronounced. At first, the two can be playful about it. However, that ugly discomfort can only stay hidden for so long. The film hints at a darker history for Freddy but backs away. No, he's not a serial killer. He's just a resentful, mediocre white man. Fanny's not entirely without fault either but the bubbling discourse between them effectively sets up a thrilling, uncertain final segment. “Scare Me” had largely been a goofy horror/comedy before this point yet it successfully generates unease in these final scenes. Befitting the structure “Scare Me” has set up before this point, this last act concludes on an uncertain and amusingly off-hand manner. 

The reviews of “Scare Me” have been mixed. How much you like the movie seems to depend on how much you can relate to the abrasive characters. I personally see too much of myself in both of these assholes to dislike them totally. Josh Ruben and Aya Cash's performances are studied and frequently hilarious. As a flip on a familiar genre format, “Scare Me” is clever. As a wacky horror/comedy, it got a lot of laughs out of me too. As an examination of male entitlement and toxicity, it's not as bright as it thinks it is but still manages to cook up an interesting conclusion. Two out of three ain't bad. If you're a head-up-your-ass writer type too, you should probably give this one a look. [7/10]



Kaijû daifunsen: Daigorou tai Goriasu

By the start of the seventies, Japan's “kaiju boom” was essentially over. At that point, the only giant monster movies being released theatrically were part of long-running series like “Godzilla” and “Gamera.” And those series were becoming increasingly cheap and childish, furthering the public opinion that kaiju movies were primarily for little kids by this point. Perhaps this is because giant monster shows were popular on television, commercially diluting the idea as it were. In 1972, Toho would team up with Tsuburaya Productions, the creators of the wildly popular “Ultraman,” to make a brand new kaiju movie. That film, “Daigoro vs. Goliath,” would be pitched entirely at the grade school set, easily ranking as one of the goofiest of all Japanese monster flicks. 

Some time ago, a giant monster emerge from the sea and started wrecking Japan. The military successfully killed the creature with a missile... Only to discover that she was a mom and left behind a baby kaiju. Quickly named Daigoro, the infant monster became a ward of the state. Years later, Daigoro is growing larger and eating more food, starting to exceed the budget afforded to feeding him. Kids try to raise money for the monster, while an eccentric inventor hopes to win a contest and use his winnings for the same cause. When another monster falls from outer space, the weather controlling Goliath, Daigoro is recruited to help save the day. But is the still juvenile monster up to the fight?

Including “Daigoro vs. Goliath” in a horror movie marathon is stretching the definition of “horror.” This film is largely an extremely silly comedy targeted exclusively at young children. The slapstick antics of the inventor are often hard to swallow. A sequence devoted to him riding a rocket-powered bike he's made goes on for way too long, concluding with a farcical explosion. A later scene, where he tries to invent “magic shoes,” is similarly long-winded and ludicrous. (Though energetically directed, if nothing else.) “Daigoro vs. Goliath's” comedy isn't just based in kid-friendly wackiness. Several scenes are devoted to a supporting character, a portly alcoholic, trying to give up the booze. At one point, he imagines a beer billboard coming to life and handing him a drink. Later, he's so desperate for sake that he drinks hot springs water instead. That's the kind of subplot you probably wouldn't see in an American kids movie. 

“Daigoro vs. Goliath” was originally conceived as a Godzilla movie, in which he'd right a creature call Redmoon. Ultimately, I'm glad the King of the Monster was cut from this one as the kaiju action is fairly underwhelming. Daigoro is an exceptionally goofy looking beast, more hippo or dog than fearsome dragon. He spends most of the movie sleeping or rubbing his grumbling tummy. Goliath, who is only in three scenes, is an indistinct blue dinosaur with a big horn. His arms flop around in an unconvincing manner. Save for a few hilariously awkward drop kicks, the fight scenes between the two are underwhelming, with Daigoro's defeat of Goliath being especially anticlimactic. Yet “Daigoro vs. Goliath” does feature one or two clever gags. The scenes devoted to Daigoro's mother, who resembles both a cat and a snake, are cool. A close-up of Goliath's nostrils flaring is neat. Lastly, a sequence devoted to Daigoro using an enormous water closest the government has built him truly must be seen to be believed. 

Even Daigoro's kaiju-sized outhouse is not the craziest thing about this film. No, the wildest thing about “Daigoro vs. Goliath” is that, no matter how childish most of the movie is, it still concerns itself with the serious issues the rest of the kaiju genre is built around. Daigoro's Mother was awoken by a crashed nuclear submarine. When the idea of dropping a nuclear bomb on Goliath is considered, many express concern that this would destroy the biology of the ocean. A minor supporting character even questions if mankind will exist much longer on Earth, if we continue to disrespect the natural order of the world. Not to mention part of the film's plot involves the government's reluctance in paying to feed a giant monster. Which leads to little kids badgering a businessman into donating to their cause. Even a Japanese monster movie as childish as this one can't escape the spectre of nuclear annihilation and civilization being out-of-order that birthed the subgenre. 

Even though “Daigoro vs. Goliath” is technically a kaiju movie from the creators of “Godzilla,” it has never been officially distributed in the United States. You'd think somebody would've tried to stick this on DVD or Blu-Ray, seeing as how kaiju fans tend to be a comprehensive sort. Luckily, a subtitled copy found its way onto Youtube recently. It's probably among the more inessential kaiju flicks I've seen and certainly nowhere near as epic as you'd expect from a collaboration between Toho and the “Ultraman” studio. It does feature far less scenes of kids in tiny shorts running around and yelling than the contemporary Godzilla and Gamera flicks, which is a factor in its favor. (Though there are several juvenile songs instead.) I'm still glad I had a chance to check this oddball obscurity out. [6/10]




Stephen King movies are, of course, legion. I doubt the man himself could name all the adaptations of his work. Yet even stranger are the subcategory of sequels to Stephen King movies. With the rare exception of “Doctor Sleep,” most of the sequels to King-related works are barely connected to the famous author's words. The majority, like the roughly ten thousand “Children of the Corn” sequels or “The Rage: Carrie 2,” are purely mercenary cash-ins that attach a prominent name to an otherwise unrelated film. It's not like anybody was really asking for two sequels to “The Mangler,” ya know? Occasionally, a sequel to a King movie pops up that at least has a notable director attached. Whatever you may think of its quality, “Pet Sematery Two” is boosted by having Mary Lambert in the director's chair. Similarly, a second “Salem's Lot” movie – the unprecedented example of a television mini-series getting a theatrically released sequel – has gained some extra cult cred because Larry Cohen directed it. 

Documentary filmmaker Joe Weber is called away from a jungle adventure because his ex-wife and her new husband are tired of dealing with their delinquent son, Jeremy. Not knowing what else to do with the kid, Joe drives to his childhood home town: Jerusalem's Lot in Maine. Upon arriving, Joe realizes the town is different. The locals are hostile to outsiders. People disappear at night. Most of the townsfolks don't seem to come out during the day. Soon, the residents of Salem's Lot reveal their true vampiric nature. They invite Joe to write their history, while Jeremy quickly becomes integrated into the undead lifestyle. Yet the writer soon realize he's made a mistake and that the bloodsuckers plan to steal their lives and their souls. 

“A Return to Salem's Lot” has almost nothing to do with Stephen King's original book or Tobe Hooper's mini-series. No, the Nosferatu-like Mr. Barlow is not in the movie, despite being on the poster. What “A Return to Salem's Lot” does have is Larry Cohen's trademark social commentary. The vampires in Salem's Lot have been here for centuries, coming over at the same time as the pilgrims. They have amassed considerable wealth over the years. Any undesirables that wander through town are quickly killed and drained. Their human prey are directly compared to cattle. As petty revenge against Joe, the vamps begin to kill innocent passer-bys again. They justify their cruelty by trying to insist they were being “reasonable” before. By the way, the cops are also their mindless slaves. If all of that was too subtle for you, Cohen makes sure all the most powerful vampires are old white authority figures. (There are, notably, no black people in Salem's Lot.) Making the rich and powerful bloodsuckers simply literalizes what they do anyway. Cohen ends the film by impaling the master vampire with an American flag, making his opinion on capitalists and where they belong in the American tradition all the more obvious. 

While Cohen's smart-ass subtext is as sly as ever, other elements of “A Return to Salem's Lot” are less compelling. This film would be a cap-off to the series of eighties collaborations between Cohen and Michael Moriarty. Moriarty, naturally, makes an impression in his opening scene. He refuses to stop the tribal sacrifice he's recording and punches out his cameraman when he calls him an asshole. When the boy is introduced, he's just as foul-mouthed and attitude-driven as his dad. Which is pretty funny. However, “A Return to Salem's Lot” soon looses sight of the father/son angle. Joe is seduced by his childhood crush, who never forgot about him and considers him age-appropriate now. Jeremy, meanwhile, takes a liking to his vampire neighbors without much reason. The father's decision to protect his child is a dramatic shift the script never justifies. Joe just arbitrarily changes his mind when it's time for the last act to kick in. Moriarty is compelling as ever, though Ricky Addison Reed – in his sole screen appearance – is a little wooden as Jeremy.

As a horror movie, “A Return to Salem's Lot” is fairly low-key. The vampires are immediately introduced sucking on some New Wave teens, so the slow reveal of Hooper's mini-series is not present. While some scenes are memorably off-beat – a group of child vampires attacking two men, a wedding between two of the young vampires – the film is never scary or especially gory. Midway through the film, Cohen introduces an elderly traveler named Van Meer, played by legendary indie director Samuel Fuller. Fuller soon reveals himself as a “not a Nazi hunter, a Nazi killer.” It only continues Cohen's point to discover that some of the vamps were Nazis too. At that point, “A Return to Salem's Lot” becomes full-fledged monster movie fun. The last act, devoted to Moriarty and Fuller traveling around town and staking vampires or dousing them with holy water, is gooey creature feature entertainment. Fuller is fantastically entertaining. The vampire make-up, which becomes more grotesque as the film goes on, are amusingly gooey. If the whole movie had been like this, it would be a beloved cult classic. 

Upon release, “A Return to Salem's Lot” was widely loathed. People were seemingly insulted that the movie was largely unrelated to King's novel. Much like 1987's other Moriarty/Cohen team-up, “It's Alive III,” “A Return to Salem's Lot” was intended for the direct-to-video market before Warner Bros changed their mind and gave it a limited theatrical release instead. Thanks to video rentals and countless cable airings, the quasi-sequel would acquire a cult following over the years. It's not the high-light of Cohen's career and one does get the impression that he wasn't terribly invested in the material, which is probably why he made it so completely his own. Yet, once it gets rolling in the second half, “A Return to Salem's Lot” is still an enjoyable time for fans of eighties horror flicks and vampire shenanigans. [7/10]




It's definitely time to introduce some metal into the season. “Death Metal,” an absurdist horror/comedy short from 2017, begins with a pretty funny image. That would be a death metal guitarist attempting to shred some doomy riffs for tips in the park. This, predictably, does not go well for him. That's when his dad presents him with an ancient family heirloom: A black guitar made from a pentagram and a battle axe. It was forged by the devil in exchange for their grandfather's soul. The guitar will gift its player with amazing skill but comes with three rules. You can only play it at night. You can't use it to make money. And you can't do that pose where you pretend the guitar is your dick. Lars immediately breaks all three rules, unleashing gory mayhem in the park. 

Only being five minutes long, there's not a lot to “Death Metal.” About half of its brief runtime is devoted to setting up its premise. The second half revolves around the carnage the guitar reaps in the park. The battle axe shoots off and gorily tears through random people in the park. This is the kind of outrageous gore comedy that horror fans love. “Death Metal” happily, sarcastically rips through a series of taboos. Each time the flying axe – shot in energetic close-ups as it soars through the air – collides with someone, bodies are torn apart and blood spews everywhere. It's elaborate slapstick special effects comedy. The best gag involving a huge hole being blasted through someone's chest only for another guy to have his face pushed through this hole. Naturally, the death metal guy's reaction to this is amusement. But don't worry, he gets what's coming to him. The special effects are obviously gruesome but cartoony enough that they amuse, instead of disturbing. “Death Metal” only has one joke but extends that joke as far as it can before wrapping up just in time. Rock on. [7/10]


Sunday, September 27, 2020

Halloween 2020: September 27th



When Michael Bay and Samuel Fuller formed Platinum Dunes, they had the incredibly cynical objective of taking well-known eighties and seventies properties and making them as slick as possible for modern audiences, for maximum profits. Their first assault on good taste was the 2003 remake of “Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” fittingly one of the most cynical films ever made. But this naked cash grab worked, as the blasphemous “Chainsaw” remake was a big box office earner. For their second redo, Platinum Dunes at least decided to remake a movie that wasn't very good. I was somewhat optimistic, in 2005, that “The Amityville Horror” could be improved upon. My high hopes were misplaced, as the remake of "The Amityville Horror" manages to be even shittier than some of those sequels.

2005's “Amityville Horror” follows the same general outline as the original. Ronald DeFio, at the urging of demonic voices, murders his entire family at 112 Ocean Avenue, Long Island. One year later, the Lutz family moves in. At first, the family of five is overjoyed by are soon disturbed by bizarre, supernatural incidents. George Lutz is especially targeted by the house's evil spirits. The biggest differences is that the remake greatly downplays the religious elements. The Catholic priest is reduced to two scenes. The demonic activity is given the origin of real life historical figure Jeremiah Ketcham. Jody the demonic pig is changed out for a little ghost girl and the red room under the stairs becomes a more muted affair. The walls still bleed though.

The “Amityville Horror” remake was directed by Andrew Douglas, who had previously done the documentary “Search for the Wrong-Eyed Jesus” and a number of music videos. If Douglas had a distinct visual style of his own, it's forced out by the stock-parts Platinum Dunes approach. The remake has the same overdone visual approach as the studio's “Texas Chainsaw” remake. Everything is gray or sickly green or slimy black. There's even that 2000s horror cliché of a shot of the sky swirling by overhead. The sound design is cranked up to eleven, every creak thundering on the soundtrack, every ominous whisper a scream. This is paired with a pounding, unrelenting musical score. The editing is frantic, especially in the almost unwatchable opening flashback. Ridiculous jump scares appear every few minutes, a spooky ghost girl, demonic face, or creepy hands leaping on-screen anytime there's a moment of quiet.

Because subtly isn't in the Platinum Dunes glossary, their “Amityville Horror” embiggens the famous scares from the original. Now a tidal wave of flies burst from the air vents. Blood leaks from the wall at every given opportunity. The babysitter locked in the closest is now an extended sequence involving the ghost child. That spooky ghost girl is a new horror cliché added to the “Amityville” stew. The remake seems especially enamored of her, as she floats in the window, makes goofy faces, shows off her bullet wound, and vamps in the most obnoxiously loud ways possible. Because this was 2005, an element of gory torture horror is somehow inserted into this haunted house story. The red room in the basement has been replaced with Ketcham's torture chamber, where George gets visions of mutilated Native Americans and is then showered with blood. 

As much stupid bullshit as the 2005 “Amityville Horror' adds to the pre-exisiting story, it doesn't attempt to fix one of the original's biggest flaws. George Lutz is still an asshole. Yes, the evil spirits in the house cause him to abuse his step-kids and badger his wife but that still doesn't make him sympathetic. Ryan Reynolds is woefully miscast in the part. Reynolds attempts to add some of his trademark snark to early scenes but it does little to enliven the character. As a man whose sanity is threatened by an evil house, Reynolds is far from convincing. (His sculpted, six pack abs also stick out like a sore thumb in the seventies setting but it's not like Platinum Dunes cared about that.) Melissa George is only moderately better, giving a histrionic performance as Kathy. A tiny Chloe Moretz, as the youngest daughter, is probably among the film's more convincing casting choices.

While I'm doubtful the Platinum Dunes team ever thought much about this kind of thing, 2005's “Amityville Horror” does update the original's subtext in almost an interesting way. The original “Amityville” was all about the stresses of owning a new house, how a dream home can turn into a living nightmare through nickeling and diming you. The remake, meanwhile, is about how you never really know your new husband or stepdad. The kids are suspicious of George, uncertain if he can replace their dead dad. (Dead parents are, apparently, a reoccurring pattern in this series.) Once he comes under the house's influence, it's clear he's not fit to be their dad. This throws Kathy for a loop too, as her loving husband turns into an abusive jerk, who can't even perform sexually. If the remake had run with this, it might've been something interesting. Instead, these ideas are dropped by the abrupt ending.

If I have to find something good to say about 2005's “The Amityville Horror,” it'll be these tidbits. A scene involving Rachel Nichols as an oversexed babysitter is mildly funny. Also, the remake is considerably shorter than the original, running only ninety minutes long. The ever litigious (real life) George Lutz would sue the producers of the remake. Apparently, he didn't appreciate the new film turning him into a dog-murderer who threatened his step kids with a shotgun. It's a really a testament to the shittiness of Platinum Dunes' style that they managed to make an “Amityville Horror' movie not only worst than the original but worst than any of the previous sequels. Thus is the power of garbage bag, 2000s-era studio horror. [3/10]




It seems to me that the 1960s is when the international film market really opened up. English language pop culture icons – like Batman, the Beatles, and James Bond – became hugely popular all over the globe. Similarly, films from other countries start to filter into the United States to great success. As far as trashy genre fair goes, Japanese and Italian movies started to make an impact on the U.S. market. In 1966, MGM co-produced a quartet of science fiction films with Italian director Antonio Margheriti, about a space station called Gamma One. In 1968, MGM would take this idea – the space station renamed Gamma Three – to Japan. Partnering with Toei and director Kinji Fukasaku, the resulting film would be “The Green Slime.” 

The crew of near-Earth space station Gamma Three includes the courageous Commander Rankin, the combative Commander Elliot, and nurse Dr. Benson, whom both men are pursuing. Soon, the space station becomes aware of a large planetoid on a collision course with Earth. An astronaut team, including Rankin and Elliot, are dispatched to explode the giant space rock before it crashes into the Earth. That would be enough story for most films but “Green Slime” is just getting started. A moss-like green sludge grows on the planetoid and sticks to an astronaut's suit. Aboard the space station, it grows into a one-eyed space monster who shoots electricity and consumes energy. It also multiplies rapidly, putting the whole station at risk.

In many way, “The Green Slime” is a science fiction monster movie very typical of its era. This is an anti-septic future where people can wear mini-skirts and go-go dance on their space station. Intergalactic travel is as easy as jumping on a bus and astronauts just need to strap into their seats during escape velocity. The movie just stops short of depicting smoking in the future. The most expected of its expected story beats is the love triangle between Rankin, Elliot and Benson. The audience can immediately figure out which of the guys will end up with the (subservient, often panicking) woman, and that the alien threat will trim this threesome down to two. That doesn't stop the movie from including its fair share of bickering among the trio.

Yet the love triangles are not the reason you watch old sci-fi movies like this. It's for the delightfully hokey special effects. The miniature effects are not up to the standard of what Toho was doing around the same time, the space station often looking like a toy on strings. Yet there's something charmingly retro about the sets, especially the sequences on the rogue planet's rocky, red surface. The titular green slime is the main attraction here. Their single red eye, dome-shaped heads, and whipping collection of tentacles are pretty neat looking. They awkwardly stumble around the sci-fi sets, sparks flying from their tentacles. Most amusingly, the Green Slime make a comical chirping noise everywhere they go. Undeniably cheesy, the monsters are nevertheless charming in their own way.

Kinji Fukasaku would direct “The Green Slime” long before he made the yakuza movies that would make him famous. Even early in his career, Fukasaku's direction is colorful and energetic. He frequently adopts askew angles during the scenes of the Green Slime rampaging through the space station. Crash-zooms are utilized several times, to emphasize the impact of an explosion or attack. Memorably, the camera spins around when characters leap under a closing blast door. Or during the climax, where multiple astronauts float around in outer space while blasting the monsters with laser guns. It's extremely goofy but also fleet-footed and energetic, which suits the monster-filled material just fine. 

If the funky, silly, but undeniably fun tone “The Green Slime” is going for wasn't immediately apparent, the movie has a wonderfully ridiculous psychedelic theme song that plays at the beginning and end. The groovy guitars and melodramatic wails of “Green slimeeeeeeee!!!” are simply unforgettable. When I first saw “The Green Slime” on late night television – maybe the ideal way to see it – that theme song stuck with me more than even the lovably goofy monsters. The American cut runs a brief 89 minutes but, amusingly, the Japanese version is even shorter. Apparently it cuts out the love triangle and focuses exclusivity on the creature feature action. Never let it be said that Japanese genre filmmakers don't know what side of their bread is buttered. [7/10]



One Step Beyond: The Clown

Another important but often overlooked predecessor to “The Twilight Zone” – debuting nine months before it – is “One Step Beyond.” The anthology series ran for three years on ABC, from 1959 to 1961. “One Step Beyond” would distinguish itself from other fantastical anthology shows by claiming all of its stories were based on “true” accounts of the paranormal. (This makes it something of a predecessor to the later, and equally full-of-shit, “Beyond Belief.”) Each episode was directed and hosted by John Newland, who would grimly introduce each story with a documentary segment before the scripted scenes started. The show is almost forgotten today though I can recall seeing it on television rarely when I was a kid, probably owning to its semi-public domain status. Once again, I looked up the highest rated episodes of the show to make my selection. I decided 'The Clown,” from season two, sounded like a good choice for the Halloween season. 

“The Clown” begins with Tom Regan and his young wife, Nonnie, entering a bar. Tom is so insanely jealous that Nonnie so much as looking at another man can drive him into a rage. A carnival happens to be in town at the exact same time the couple get into a fight. Nonnie ends up befriending a mute clown named Pippo. When Tom catches Pippo and his wife innocently talking in his trailer, he stabs the girl to death. Pippo is left locked up, waiting for the cops to come. Yet Tom sees Pippo ominously looming behind him every time he looks in the mirror, the grinning clown drawing closer every time.

I wanted to watch “The Clown” because I figured it was an early example of the killer clown cliché. Which it is, though not quite how you might expect. Pippo begins as a benevolent figure, passing out balloons and making Nonnie laugh. But his painted face is uncanny enough of a sight that it easily becomes creepier once Tom's guilt begins to manifest. The episode takes way too long to get going, as the mysterious events don't begin happening until the show is half-way over. Tom is such a ridiculous asshole that it's hard to take him serious. Yet the central image of a threatening clown looming in mirrors is insanely creepy. It's more than enough to keep this brief half-hour afloat, even if Newland's melodramatic host segments border on the campy. 

Some have suggested that this episode might've inspired Stephen King's “IT.” I don't know about that – there's certainly plenty of other killer clown stories King might've drawn from – but I can say for certain another prominent storyteller was influenced by this episode. “Mirror, Mirror,” Martin Scorsese's episode of “Amazing Stories," was obviously inspired by this one. Several moments, like the clown appearing in the rear-view mirror of Tom's car, where directly ripped for the later episode. Scorsese did the same idea a little better but Pippo the Clown is way creepier than the fedora-clad villain the later director dreamed up. [7/10]



Forever Knight: Trophy Girl

Since “Silence of the Lambs” was a major pop culture phenomenon in the early nineties, it's unsurprising that so many cop shows would draw inspiration from the famous film. “Forever Knight,” naturally, was not above this inclination. During a shoot-out with some drug dealers, Tracy Vetters kills an attacker. The same night, the gruesome evidence of a serial killer – a murdered call girl, her dismembered body left on the beach – is discovered. Nick meets with a famous incarcerated serial killer, known as the Mortician, to pick his brain about this copycat. Still traumatized by the death, Vetters uses her three days of leaves to go undercover at the escort agency in find the killer... Which is exactly what happens, as she's soon abducted by the madman. Using the tips from the other killer, Nick hopes to track down the copycat before it's too late.

A plot about a cop killing someone in the line of duty plays really differently today than it did back in 1995. Still, “Trophy Girl” is the first time I think I've actually been interested in Tracy Vetters. Her guilt over the death causing her to personally try and track the killer represents her being more active and less whiny than usual. Though this growth is more than a little undermined by her immediately being grabbed by the guy and spending the rest of the episode tied up. The scenes where Nick interacts with the Mortician, played by experienced Canadian television actor A.C. Peterson, are a little more compelling. The serial killer immediately recognizes Nick as fellow brother in bloodlust. A subplot about the killer reaching out to his “fans” through message boards is amusing, if only because it presents the internet as a new novelty. (The identity of the Mortician's biggest fan is easy to guess, though a decent reveal.) The final act is a little more gruesome than expected, as it features several decapitated heads in jars. I think this is probably going to end up being one of the better episodes of “Forever Knight's” third season. [7/10]

Sunday, October 6, 2019

Halloween 2019: October 4th


Lake Mungo (2008)

In the mid-two thousands, horror movies were experiencing a renewed popularity. The DVD market was also still on the move up at the time, though those with any foresight probably figured the decline was coming soon. These two factors would combine with the After Dark Horrorfest, an annual festival of independent horror films that would play as a set in theaters before being released on DVD. While a cool idea conceptually, most of the After Dark movies ranged from utterly forgettable to outright awful. It got to the point where I pretty much dismissed any film associated with the brand. However, occasionally gems would sneak in under the label. When I started hearing positive notices about “Lake Mungo,” one of After Dark's 2008 offerings, I was surprised. So surprised it took me until now to get around to it.

Presented as a television documentary, “Lake Mungo” follows the Palmer family of Victoria, Australia. One year ago, sixteen year old daughter Alice disappeared while out swimming with her family. Though mother June is hopeful, father Russell is soon brought in to identify a corpse that is clearly Alice. In the days and months since then, the Palmer family starts to experience strange events. Younger brother Matthew, an obsessive videographer, captured what appeared to be a blurry photograph of Alice at the lake... After she disappeared. Throughout the house, he captures what appears to be Alice's ghost on video tape. June brings in a psychic to investigate but, instead, the family uncovers the secrets Alice concealed both in life and death.

“Lake Mungo” is entirely committed to verisimilitude, feeling one-hundred percent like an actual documentary in its editing, pacing, and tone. The actors all look, act, and sound like real people. This pitch-perfect loyalty to realism makes “Lake Mungo” incredibly creepy at times. Though not a real found-footage movie, the film is fascinated by blurry video footage and photographs, including those from cell phones. A trick the film exploits successfully repeatedly is slow-zooms into the background of these photos, revealing a spooky, ghostly image that wasn't immediately apparent before. Every time, this technique is really creepy, the film confidently presenting the unnerving presence of a ghostly girl existing alongside normal people. This is a haunted house story for the modern age, placing its ghosts thoroughly in the mundane context of suburban homes and wholesome vacation spots.

Writer/director Joel Anderson – currently his only feature credit – wares his influences on his sleeve. “Lake Mungo” is the modern descendant of “Ghostwatch,” with its presentation of being a regular TV broadcast, its spectre lurking in the background of shots, and a story reveal mid-way through that evidence has been hoaxed. Moreover, “Twin Peaks” was pretty clearly an inspiration, the family's last name being “Palmer” being the most obvious nod. This is the story of a teenage girl with a double life. Alice, we soon learn, was regularly having threesomes with the married couple next door. She was keeping “secrets about having secrets,” as one character puts it. Like Lynch's landmark program, “Lake Mungo” is about the darkness beneath suburban perfection, unsightly images lurking in the background that can only be ignored for so long.

Yet more than even that, “Lake Mungo” is a frank depiction of grief. June is so haunted by her daughter's passing, that she refuses to initially acknowledge she's even dead. After her daughter's corpse is exhumed, she begins to sleepwalk, wandering into stranger's homes. Actress Rosie Trayner portrays her as clearly still shell-shocked by the trauma of loosing her child. Alice's ghost lingers in the house, not immediately seen but always present. Like grief itself, the ghost can never be banished but must be lived with. The film gets right at the guts of what the ghost genre means, acknowledging the ghost's status as a lingering reminder of our own mortality.

Instead of looking at “Lake Mungo” as just another member of the AfterDark Horrorfest family – check out that exploitative, bikini-clad poster art they designed for the film – one should consider the film as part of the wave of Australian horror that sprung up last decade. It's certainly a different breed of horror than “Wolf Creek” or “The Loved Ones” but is another proud example of the wonderful genre efforts that were coming out of that country at the time. While some referring to “Lake Mungo” as one of the scariest movies ever made might be overstating it slightly, it's a fabulously creepy and fantastically subtle cinematic haunting. This ghost story is likely to linger in my mind for quite a bit longer. [8/10]



Latitude Zero (1969)

Even though I didn't much care for it, “Atragon” was clearly very successful for Toho. I suspect the movie was popular in both Japan and America. I say this because, towards the end of the decade, Toho would create a spiritual sequel of sorts as an international co-production. Don Sharp – perhaps better known for directing films like “Kiss of the Vampire” or “Curse of the Fly” – would offer to co-produce another sci-fi submarine creature feature. The cast would be an international affair too, with Toho stars like Akihiko Hirata and Akira Takarada appearing alongside known American actors like Joseph Cotton and Caesar Romero. This didn't exactly work out for Toho, as Sharp dropped out just as production was about to start, forcing the studio to go ahead with half the intended budget. Perhaps this is why “Latitude Zero” is usually overshadowed by its more well-known sort-of, kind-of predecessor.

Oceanic geology Dr. Tashiro, marine biologist Jules Masson, and journalist Perry Lawton dive into the ocean in a bathysphere. When this goes wrong, they are unexpectedly rescue by a mysterious submarine: The Alpha, outfitted with advanced technology and captained by Craig McKenzie. The crew of the Alpha claims to be 200 years old. They hail from Latitude Zero, an underwater utopia where the inhabitants – all ship-wreck survivors – never age or gets sick. The only threat to this perfect kingdom is Dr. Malic, an evil scientist with his own high-tech submarine, the Black Shark, who has a habit of creating horrific human/animal hybrids.

While American science fiction of the late sixties and early seventies grew increasingly apocalyptic, Japanese sci-fi of the same era seems way more optimistic. “Latitude Zero” presents its utopia without any subversion or dark edge. The film runs with the idea that, if people live forever, they'll have no use for greed, hatred, or interpersonal strife. Dr. Malic's evil is presented as an aberration. It just so happens most of the residents of Latitude Zero are genius scientists, who pass the time making scientific advancements like an artificial sun or a bath that heals all sickness. This utopian image is awash in swingin' sixties camp, naturally. The immortals wear a lot of golden swimsuits and jump on trampolines. Yet the film's depiction of human nature is ultimately upbeat and positive, reflecting Ishiro Honda's belief in world peace. Then again, “Latitude Zero” is basically a children's movie so you'd probably expect its philosophies to be fairly wholesome.

When the film isn't explaining its utopian ideas, it's throwing all sorts of crazy, fun, goofy sci-fi shit at the viewer. The first act doubles down on submarine battles, the u-boats spiraling through the murky depths and blasting missiles at each other. (Though none of them look as cool as the Gotengo.) Once the heroes go on the offensive against Malic, they outfit themselves with high-tech weapons. This include jet packs and suits with laser blasters built into the fingertips. The special effects, the penultimate Toho credit of Eiji Tsuburaya, are charmingly lo-fi. The monsters are similarly amusing. Such as the seven-foot tall bat humanoids, with their high-pitched shrieks, and the squirm-inducing man-sized rats. The star kaiju of the film is a giant lion/condor hybrid with a human's mind. (Just called a griffon in the dub but its official Japanese name is, confusingly, Black Moth.) While not the most convincing of Toho's monsters, the griffon is better executed and more interesting than Manda was in “Atragon.”

The international cast gives “Latitude Zero” a distinctively different atmosphere than a lot of Toho flicks. Probably because few of the actors are dubbed in the English cut. Takarada and Hirata actually speak very clear English, allowing their clear charisma to be truly shown off. Sometimes this backfires though. Hikaru Kuroki, as the henchwoman whose brain ends up in the giant griffon, has a very thick accent and clearly isn't comfortable on-screen. (This is her sole screen credit.) It's not just the Japanese actors who sometimes struggle with this. Mysterious exploitation siren Linda Haynes, in her debut role, is surprisingly wooden as the comely doctor aboard the Alpha. As for the big stars, Joseph Cotton is amusingly fatherly as the super-heroic Captain Makenzie. Caesar Romero has a lot of fun as the cackling, practically mustache twirling Dr. Malic.

It's interesting to me that “Latitude Zero” feels like such a divided film. All the sci-fi and giant monster stuff feels entirely like a classic Toho kaiju flick. The scenes of people hanging around futuristic buildings, on the other, feel much dryer and far more American. I guess the two styles didn't quite mesh. (It didn't dissuade Toho from trying again. In the mid-seventies, they attempted to make a movie called “Nessie” with Hammer, an unrealized collaboration I would've loved to have seen.) Though very goofy and ultimately extremely minor in the grand tapestry of Toho's monster movies, “Latitude Zero” is definitely a fun watch. In the loosely connected super-submarine duo – the presence of high-tech subs is the only linking fiber – I'll take it over “Atragon” any day. [6/10]



Tales from the Cryptkeeper: Too Cool for School

If the first episode of “Tales from the Cryptkeeper's” third season was ripping off a vintage “The Twilight Zone” episode, its second is directly inspired by “Jurassic Park.” A pair of teenage girls decide the rules don't apply for them and skip school, on the day they'll be dissecting frogs in science class. Instead, they wander into the swamp and meet a friendly if stern zoologist. The next day, the girls haphazardly mix frog eggs with dinosaur DNA – which is quite literally just sitting in a fridge at the school. This creates a pack of mutated frog/dinosaur hybrids, who proceed to chase the girls through the school and back into the swamp. The scene where they hide in the school meat locker is clearly ripping off Spielberg's dino-classic.

Now that the Cryptkeeper is directly interacting with the stories, the writers have gotten lazier. For the second episode in a row, the Cryptkeeper is directly responsible for introducing the monster and causes it to disappear at the end, being positioned as an arbitrator of justice against the disobedient youths. In this episode, I really noticed the downgrade in animation quality. The girl's blank stares and wide-eyes are way creepier than the dino-frogs. The preachy moral couldn't be more hammered into the viewer's head. The weirdly literal presentation of this moral – kids, don't skip school or dinosaur-frogs will try and eat you – seems to negate the goal though. (For added educational value, the zoologist character talks a little about conservation.) About the only thing I like about this episode are the dino-frogs themselves. They look like raptors with hoppity frog legs, which is pretty cute. [4/10]


Forever Knight: Partners of the Month

“Partners of the Month” represents “Forever Knight” in an uncharacteristically light-hearted mod. Schanke and his often-referenced but rarely seen wife Myra are going through a rough stretch. The arguments get so bad that they actually separate. This is bad news for Nick, as Schanke haphazardly moves into his apartment. Knight has to hastily hide his vampiric nature. Schanke's relationship problems also start to affect his police work. This is most noticeable because their current case involves a workaholic, with a number of mistresses, who was mysteriously shot dead while his wife waited upstairs.

Seeing “Forever Knight” cut loose with a goofier episode is a nice change of pace. (Though the show's visual presentation remains ever gloomy and dark.) The scenes devoted to Schanke barging into Nick's apartment, or the two attempting to co-habitat, are pretty funny. A breakfast sequence shows off Geraint Wyn-Davies' rarely seen talent for deadpan facial reactions. They quickly begin to bicker like an old married couple, a good gag. Once Schank uncovers the true killer – the murder mystery this weak is truly superfluous – Nick acts behind the scene to give his parent some glory, a cute touch. The scene where Schank drowns his sorrow at Jenette's vampire club are amusing too. The flashback sequence are devoted to Nick and Jenette breaking up during the Renaissance, showing even vampires have bad break-ups apparently. [7/10]