Halloween 2019: September 24th

IT: Chapter Two (2019)

I figured the first “IT” would be popular. Stephen King's novel is among his most highly regarded and was a bestseller. The original television mini-series was, in its own way, iconic. The movie was obviously capitalizing on the success of “Stranger Things” with its nostalgic, “kids-on-bikes” vibe. But I also figured the public's interest in killer clown shenanigans had peaked by that point. Boy, was I wrong. Andy Muschietti's “IT,” of course, became the highest grossing horror film in cinema history, at least without adjusting for inflation. A sequel was already a foregone conclusion, as this was always planned as a two-part adaptation, but clearly the demand for “IT: Chapter Two” was overwhelming. While the box office receipts for the second “IT” have been typically massive, the general reaction has been much more mixed. After about a two week delay, I am finally able to judge for myself.

Twenty-seven years ago, the Losers Club – Bill, Eddie, Ben, Mike, Richie, Bev, and Stan – banished the malevolent, child-eating entity under the streets of Derry, Maine. They made a vow that, should It ever return, they would come back to kill it once and for all. The killings have started again and Mike, who stayed behind as the town librarian, recruits everyone to return to Derry. The shock is too much for Stan, who commits suicide, leaving the now adult Losers one short. As they explore the town, preparing to face It down once and for all, they rediscover the traumatic memory of their youthful summer.

I wouldn’t say I loved 2017’s “IT” but it definitely exceeded my expectation and was a surprisingly well-acted and fun horror show. I liked it just enough to be disappointed in “IT: Chapter Two.” A large chunk of the movie is devoted to the adult Losers tracking down “tokens” from their childhood, which triggers old, previously unseen memories and modern day encounters with It. This leads to a seriously episodic structure. It feels a little like the filmmakers wanted to utilize some of the unused incidents from King’s book but didn’t know how to build a straight-forward narrative around them. This also leads to a bloated runtime, as the film’s first half sags with too many attacks. The tone is also weirdly uncertain. There’s too much sarcasm and too many quibs in “Chapter Two,” as if Trashmouth himself took over the screenplay at random intervals. This is most obvious in a bizarre, comedic episode involving a Pomeranian inserted into the otherwise serious last act.

The first “IT” successfully captured a funhouse atmosphere of horror, tossing big loud scares at the audience that left them with a smile. The sequel doubles down on this, throwing more gangly CGI monsters around than you can count. Occasionally, this approach is successful. Three of the sequel’s best scenes are taken directly from the novel. The joy of the Losers reconvening at a Chinese restaurant transforms to seasick tension when grotesque surprises crawl out of the fortune cookies. Bill’s joyful reunion with Silver and the subsequent encounter with a bunch of little hands mines a similar dynamic. Adult Richie’s fight with a pissed-off Paul Bunyan statue is well done. Giving the statue a frayed fiberglass smile was a cool design choice. Having the proceeding meeting with Pennywise go Technicolored for no reason was cool too. Another of the sequel’s best scenes - Pennywise luring a little girl under the bleachers at a ball game - was invented for the film. It’s actually better executed than the similar scene with Georgie in the first film, as you believe the girl would find Pennywise friendly instead of scary in this scenario.

Usually though, I was left wondering why the screenwriters decided to make-up some goofy bullshit instead of utilizing more good stuff from King’s book. Beverly meeting It in the form of an old witch - one of the book’s creepiest scenes - is overdone here and that’s before a tri-mouthed, creaky-boned, witch woman shows up. Eddie meeting the Leper again goes on and on and ends with an utterly baffling needle drop. Ben’s flashback banks on making the adorable, lovable Sophia Lillis a figure of fear which just doesn’t wash. Pennywise’s increasing goofy facial expressions engineer laughter, instead of fear. The sequel ditches the fascinating cosmic weirdness of King’s last act for increasingly over-the-top CGI nightmares, like a drawn-out homage to “The Thing.” Overall, “IT: Chapter Two’s” scares are too proud of themselves. That smugness is also evident in King’s painfully meta cameo and a random shout-out to “The Shining.”

My fears that Muschietti and his team didn’t actually understand King’s text is confirmed with “Chapter Two.” In the book, Pennywise isn’t just a spooky clown or a succession of freakier monsters. It’s a symbol of the hateful heart beating underneath Derry and every small town. This is why he hangs out in the sewers, why a horrifying hate crime awakens It in the modern day, why the town dies when the monster finally dies. Muschietti recreates that hate crime but, with the movie so disconnected from the book’s themes, it feels tasteless. Instead of these profound statements, “IT: Chapter Two” becomes an unsightly sentimental story of self-forgiveness, of overcoming fear, and dumbass love triangles. The film literalizes the moral of “fears are small when confronted head-on,” creating a somehow more underwhelming climax than the 1990’s version. Though the Teutonic journey into the Earth is nicely handled, by largely ditching King’s cosmic weirdness, It goes from an unknowably ancient evil entity, an intrinsic force of the universe, to just another movie monster. A monster that looks like a giant spider because the human mind can’t grasp the enormity of its true form is scary. A giant spider with a clown head is just goofy.

But, yes, the film is excellently cast. The adult versions of the Losers could not be more on-point. James McAvoy is well utilized as the strong leader type as our grown-up Bill. Bill Hader is hilarious and surprisingly melancholy as Richie, even if his jokes are disruptive sometimes. James Ransone is similarly ideal as our grown-up Eddie, maintaining his childhood neurosis. While the subplot involving her abusive husband goes absolutely nowhere - the related subplot concerning Bill’s wife is similarly abbreviated, wasting Jess Weixler in one scene - Jessica Chastain certainly is strong and likable as adult Beverly. Even Isaiah Mustafa, otherwise known as the Old Spice guy, is pretty good as Mike. And it sure is nice to see all the kids again, Finn Wolfhard and Lillis especially. They are both going to be huge stars.

While I reasonably enjoyed the first “IT,” the sequel is one of those adaptations that just make me want to go back and re-read the book. While the cast is great and Muschietti has a strong visual sense, “IT: Chapter Two” represents pretty much everything wrong with modern studio horror: Loud, superficial, too long, and obsessed with CGI tomfoolery. There’s already been talks of a possible third film which seems like a terrible idea on the surface but a prequel, exploring the history of Derry more, maybe has potential. But a new creative team should be assembled. Also, this is a nitpick, but the subtitle is dumb. “IT: The Book” has way more than just two chapters. [5/10]

Count Dracula (1971)
Nachts, wenn Dracula erwacht

I've spoken before about how Halloween is often a time for me to fill some blind spots in my horror nerd education. So here goes: I've never seen a Jess Franco movie before. The hugely prolific Spanish director made well over a hundred films in genres such as spy movies, erotica, spaghetti combat, giallo, poliziotteschi, and even hardcore pornography. Yet it seems horror was his favorite, as he worked in it the most often. Franco is one of those directors considered a genius by some and one of the worst directors of all time by others. That's a reputation that certainly deserves a closer look. Among Franco's most well regarded films is 1970's “Count Dracula.” Which has about a dozen different titles but that's the one I'll be going with tonight.

Made as the popularity of Hammer's “Dracula” series was just beginning to wain, Franco's “Dracula” earned some novelty by supposedly being one of the most faithful adaptations of Bram Stoker's novel. And this is certainly kind of true. The first twenty minutes of the film follows Stoker's novel pretty closely, featuring Jonathan Harker's trip to Borgo Pass, the strange coachman and his encounter with the wolves, Dracula feeding his brides a baby, and Harker discovering the count in his crypt. After that, the film differs considerably. It includes many usually excised elements, such as Quincey Morris, Dracula's gypsy servants, Dracula growing younger as he feeds more, his climatic flee back to Transylvania, and vampire Lucy's nighttime activities hunting children. Yet it combines some characters, cuts others, removes many events, and invents others wholesale.

Over the years, I've read a lot about Jess Franco's directional style. I've seen it referred to interchangeably as stylish or tacky. Having now watched a Franco film, I can say that both adjectives seem fair. Franco sure does seem fond of his crash-zooms. Over the course of the film, characters being surprised, shocked, or scared are emphasized by fast zooms on their faces. This particular habit peaks during a hilariously goofy sequence. While hunting for Dracula, Van Helsing and Quincey are menaced by a room full of animated taxidermied animals. Franco conveys this by zooming in on the faces of the dead animals while they unconvincingly shake and discordant noises and hisses fill in the soundtrack. This also points towards the film's low budget, which keeps this version of “Dracula” largely confined to interior shots and not so much sweeping images of foggy castles.

However, “Count Dracula” does have its effective moments. That early sequence of the disguised Dracula warding off the wolves works for me. As does a scene of Dracula luring Lucy to her window, so that he may enter and bite her neck. Probably the creepiest moment in the movie occurs soon afterwards. We see the sickly Lucy collapse, followed by Quincey entering the room, and then hear his anguished wails from off-screen. However, Franco's pacing is exceedingly slow, many sequences going without music or being largely devoted to people just wandering around locations. The film apparently wanted to replicate the feeling of reading a long novel and not just the events that take place in its pages.

Lending further legitimacy to “Count Dracula” is its cast. While Christopher Lee's involvement with many of Hammer's “Dracula” movies seemed begrudging at best, here he seems excited to play a more accurate version of Stoker's count. An early scene has him monologuing about the proud military history of the Transylvanian people. Multiple scenes of Lee intimidating people from the shadows show the pure power and screen presence Lee was capable of. (And the man certainly knew how to rock a mustache.) Sadly, the rest of “Count Dracula's” cast is kind of wasted. Klaus Kinski should've been an amazing Renfield but the character is confined to an asylum the entire time, Kinski never speaking and simply making wild facial expressions while being restrained. Herbert Lom makes for a decent Van Helsing but he often has little to do besides delivering exposition. Otherwise, Maria Rohm as Mina or Soledad Miranda as Lucy aren't much more than pretty faces.

While it certainly features many variations from the book, Franco's “Count Dracula” probably still stands as one of the more faithful adaptations of Stoker's novel. The version that seems to be the most faithful is the BBC mini-series version starring Louis Jordon, also known as “Count Dracula.” And even that made some pretty notable changes. At this point, it's fair to say that those that want Dracula represented 100% as Stoker intended should probably just - duh - read the novel. While this “Count Dracula” has its moments, including a fiery Chris Lee performance, there's a whole lot of tedium you have to wade through to get to them. [5/10]

Tales from the Cryptkeeper: The Weeping Woman

In season two, “Tales from the Cryptkeeper” decided to do something the original “Tales from the Crypt” never did: It sequelized one of its previous episodes. “The Weeping Woman” sees the return of Camille and Mildred, the teenage girls/amateur paranormal investigators from season one's “Fare Tonight.” Having recently earned her driver's license, Mildred drives Camille out to a small town on the coast. Mildred claims to have given up the spook life, deciding to collect teddy bears instead. After their car breaks down in the middle of the storm, the two girls are forced to take shelter in an old hotel... Which happens to be haunted by the spectre of a wailing, feminine ghost.

Sadly, “The Weeping Woman” is not as much fun as “Fare Tonight.” Downplaying both girls' affection for the supernatural makes sense from a dramatic level. After all, more conflict between friends should make for a more interesting story, right? But Mildred and Camille are a lot less cute when bickering and I really miss their horror nerd enthusiasm. In general, the sleuthing and situations in “The Weeping Woman” aren't as much fun. However, the episode does earn points for having a truly intimidating antagonist. The shrieking spectre is relentless in her pursuit of Camille, tearing up the building around her in the process. She is never played for laughs, making it likely that this episode might've frightened some kids back in 1995. Though never spooky, there's some mild atmosphere in this episode, whenever we hear the crying of the little ghost girl that accompanies the main woman. Refreshingly, “The Weeping Woman” doesn't seem to contain any preachy moral lesson like most episodes of “Tales from the Cryptkeeper.”

Also, I'm increasingly uncertain if I find the Vaultkeeper's slapstick or the Old Witch's obnoxious puns – as opposed to the Cryptkeeper's awesome puns – more irritating. Those two are really dragging down the host segments this season. [6/10]

Forever Knight: Forward Into the Past

Season two continues to more explicitly tie Nick's vampire past in with his cop present. In “Forward Into the Past,” we learn that, in 1950s England, he was friends with a woman named Katherine and her secretary Madelyn. After Katherine's husband was murdered, there was an attempt on her life. Nick had to reveal his vampire powers to protect the woman and then helped them slip away to new identities. Now, forty years later, Madelyn has been discovered dead, after being tortured to death. Nick must now locate Katherine before a decades old crime plot threatens her life as well.

“Forward Into the Past” is not the most compelling episode of “Forever Knight.” I'll be totally honest with you guys. I found the crime plot of this particular episode so dull, that I actually slept through a good chunk of it. As far as I can, some prominent member of society is responsible for the killing, causing Nick to put the pressure on the guy, against the police chief's wishes. What is more interesting about this episode is the friendship Nick formed with the women in the past, even if the vampire's increasingly common tendency to reveal his true idea nature to people is starting to bug me. My favorite part of this episode is Aristotle, a vampire specializing in providing the undead with new identities when they have to leave town suddenly. That's a cool bit of world building in an otherwise dull episode. [5/10]

Halloween 2019: September 23rd

Us (2019)

When “Get Out” broke the mold by becoming one of the few horror movies to actually win an Oscar, newly minted Master of Horror Jordan Peele immediately announced it would be the first in a series of socially-minded horror movies he planned on creating. It didn't take long for his follow-up to arrive in theaters. “Us” would ride a similar wave of buzz and critical respect – not to mention an early-in-the-year release date – to box office success. Suggesting that Peele has, and by only his second feature, already reached the status of a marquee name director, in a time when brands are arguably more important than talent. Whether “Us” was scarier, stronger, or weirder than “Get Out” has already been debated endlessly but we can all agree that Peele is obviously the most talked-about horror director of our modern age.

As a young child, Adelaide had a traumatic experience on the Santa Cruz boardwalk, getting lost in a hall of mirrors and supposedly encountering a duplicate of herself. Thirty years later, she is returning to the beach with her husband Gabe, teenage daughter Zora, and younger son Jason. While on vacation, Adelaide can't escape this feeling that her lookalike is finally going to catch up with her. She's right. That night, a nightmarish mirror image of the family descends on their vacation home, clad in red jumpsuits and carrying golden scissors. As they barely survive their encounter, they realize events like these are happening all over the country.

“Us” is clearly about the class divide in America, how the comfortably living upper class don't even realize the effect they have on the poor. The Tethered look just like Adelaide and her family but every fortunate gift Adelaide received, her counterpart had something horrible happen to her. They live underground, described as living in “the sewers” in one scene. Yet these beings are human, no matter how monstrous they act. The violence against the Tethered is portrayed as equally brutal, the audience wondering if our heroes have gone too far in retaliation. As the title indicates, these mirror images aren't aberrations. They are us. Which, if you capitalize both letters, spells U.S. The Tethered Adelaide introduces herself as an “American,” after all. Peele loads down with images of doubles, surely to be studied endlessly in the future, as foreshadowing and also to nail this theme home.

Following the extremely dumb argument over whether or not “Get Out” was technically a horror movie – it was – Peele decided to make “Us” as unambiguous a horror picture as possible. Which means his trademark mixture of social commentary and comedy is still present. The family's banter is highly amusing, especially once they start stacking up their body counts. Some choice musical choices, jabs at Alexa, or pay-offs on earlier running gags show a puckish comedic glee. Yet “Us” is still damn effective as a horror picture. The initial home invasion fantastically keeps upping the suspense, each family member facing down their other in increasingly taunt situations. Gabe, leg disabled, being hounded by the howling Abraham is especially tense. If the first home invasion sequence is drawn out in its tension, the second is a gore-soaked gut punch.  Friends of Gabe are suddenly struck down by scissors-wielding assassins, an evil pair of twins somersaulting through the house or a drawn-out death scene set ironically to the Beach Boys.

Though “Us” obviously shows its influences – “Martyrs” was clearly an inspiration – I've liked that all of Peele's horror films have tried to create new type of movie monsters or horror experiences. While doppelganger movies have existed before, “Us” goes defiantly its own way. The Tethered are unforgettable images, clad in their red jump suits, eyes starring widely and unhinged, skin shiny and waxy. That they act as twisted mirrors of seemingly normal citizens, the film taking its time in setting up these regular folks before introducing these nightmare subversions, makes them even more unnerving. The monsters of “Us” follow a surreal dream logic. How copies of every person in America could live in underground tunnels, mirroring their above-ground counterpart's actions and subsisting off mysteriously provided rabbits, doesn't make any sense. Nor is it suppose to. The horror genre can get away with not worrying about these kind of things.

Some of the story turns in “Us” have been controversial. More than half-way through, there's a moment when the story suddenly opens up. What was previously a home invasion becomes a nation-wide, organized series of attacks. The film then barrels towards increasingly intense sequences, leading to a fantastically choreographed showdown between Adelaide and her double in the underground. It's the revelation that follows shortly afterwards, a twist ending, that really throws me off. The last minute reveal certainly connects with the film's thematic concerns, showing how close the upper class family is to their seemingly monstrous other halves. Yet it ends up treating the dream logic of the premise more seriously, while also feeling like a cheap and easy shock for the audience to think about on the way out. And that sticks in my teeth.

As you'd expect, Peele could attract top-tier talent to this project. Considering I've mostly seen Lupita Nyong'o in historical dramas or sci-fi epics, there is a certain novelty to seeing her play a regular, everyday person here. And she's excellent, beautifully showing Adelaide's anxiety escalating throughout the day as more and more strange coincidences pile up. Ngony'o, of course, plays two roles here and is highly disturbing as the snarl-voiced Tethered, starring wildly and controlling every fiber of her performance. Winston Duke is frequently hilarious as Adelaide's slightly clueless husband, who looses a leg for his ignorance. Tim Heidekcer and Elisabeth Moss are also brilliantly cast, perfectly insufferable as rich pricks but also effectively unsettling as their howling, hooting Tethered counterparts.

Though you never know, it seems unlikely to me that “Us” will receive the same kind of attention from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science that “Get Out” did. This is a gory horror picture, practically a slasher film, that isn't as obviously about important social issues as Peele's debut was. But I honestly think I might rate “Us” a little higher. It's more fun, stranger, and more stylishly constructed than “Get Out,” Peele growing more confident with his second feature. Now if only there wasn't that lame twist ending... While Peele's next directorial project hasn't been announced yet – he's producing a new “Candyman” movie, which certainly seems like it would fit this series of socially conscious horror pictures – I certainly hope the director will continue to balance his grisly thrills, sly social commentary, and goofy character-based comedy. [8/10]

Castle of Blood (1964)
Danza macabra

I need more Barbara Steele in my life. Yes, I love “Black Sunday” and, like many fans before me, found Steele's haunting beauty and piercing eyes unforgettable. Beyond Bava's classic of gothic horror though, I haven't seen nearly enough of Steele's other starring roles. After that film's success, Steele starred in a string of gothic horror flicks made in Italy. While many of these titles – such as “The Ghost,” “The Horrible Dr. Hichcock,” or “She-Beast” – are known to me, I've never actually sat down and watched them. “Castle of Blood,” also known as “Danza Macabra,” seems especially well regarded. Watching it now would also continue the totally unintentional theme of public domain horror movies I have going right now.

A journalist by the name of Alan Foster has a chance encounter with Edgar Allen Poe. Poe claims that all of his morbid stories are based on fact. His latest tale concerns his friend Lord Blackwood. The Blackwood family castle is supposedly cursed, as nobody has managed to stay a whole night in the abode over All Souls Day without dying. Foster takes the bet. Once inside the castle, he meets the beautiful Elizabeth Blackwood as well as her chillier sister, Julia. It soon becomes apparent to Alan that Elizabeth and Julia are ghosts. And they aren't alone, as Castle Blackwood is haunted by the spirits of everyone violently murdered there.

There's not a whole lot to “Castle of Blood” on a narrative level. After the general premise is revealed to us, the film spins its wheels for various intervals before getting back to actually advancing the plot. Some of its visual effects, especially the image of a shimmering painting, are cheesy. However, the movie has several very strong points in its favor. The greatest of which is its utterly gorgeous gothic atmosphere. “Castle of Blood” has the kind of thick, black-and-white horror visuals you could cut with a knife. The Blackwood castle grounds are awash in impenetrable fog, barely more than the front gate and a few trees being visible. The interior of the castle is filled with cobweb-strewn candelabras, spooky old portrait, empty dining room tables, and endless stone hallways. There's even a foggy crypt on the property. These kind of visuals cause me to settle right into my comfort zone. It's classic horror comfort food for me and made me utterly predisposed to love “Castle of Blood.”

Luckily, the fantastic gothic trappings are not the only thing “Castle of Blood” has going for it. The film's particular variation on the haunting concept is interesting. These ghosts are physical and can interact with the living. They have free will up to a certain point but are ultimately forced to live and die in the same ways they originally did. There's an undeniably sexual element in the film. Elizabeth seduces Foster. In scenes cut from the original American print and only surviving in Italian, the two actually have sex. A similarly excised sequence reveals an incestuous element to Elizabeth and Julia's relationship. Also among the ghosts is Elizabeth's enraged lover. “Castle of Blood” portrays ghosts as trapped in an unending cycle of doomed passion, forever consumed by their frustrated sexual desires. The ghost also act a little like vampires, literally feeding off the blood of the new victims invited into the castle.

You might not be surprised to read that the character of a seductive, wide-eyed, and mysteriously beguiling ghostly maiden is, in fact, the perfect usage of Barbara Steele. Even when doubt, Steele's mesmerizing screen presence drives so much of “Castle of Blood.” She largely provides the film with its achingly sensual energy, of repressed sexual drive and unfulfilled desire. She's electrifying. Steele leads a pretty decent cast too. Georges Riviere is likable as Foster, remaining charming even as he cluelessly gets himself in way over his head. Margarete Robsahm, also beautiful, also captures a certain romantic awkwardness. I even like the very Italian Silvano Tranquilli as the very American Edgar Allen Poe, who is properly forlorn. (The film claims to be based on a Poe story, though it's not. I suspect this story element was inserted in hopes of capitalizing on the popularity of AIP's Poe adaptations.)

“Castle of Blood” had a somewhat difficult production. The project was conceived by Sergio Corbucci but a scheduling conflict prevented him from directing it, with Antonio Margheriti taking over production early on. Margheritti was dissatisfied with the film and would remake it in 1971 as “Web of the Spider,” a decision the director would later regret. The film wasn't very popular in Italian theaters but has developed a following in the years since. It also shouldn't be confused with another Barbara Steele gothic thriller, “Nightmare Castle.” I've mixed those two up over the years myself. As for “Castle of Blood,” it is exactly My Kind of Shit, full of the kind of gothic atmosphere and themes I love. [8/10]

Tales from the Cryptkeeper: All the Gory Details

“All the Gory Details” – sort of a shame that perfectly E.C. Comics-esque title was wasted on the kid's cartoon, isn't it? – follows muckraking journalist Sally. She's on the trail of Dr. Cromwell, a Frankensteinian mad scientist who sewed together some undead creations in the forties before disappearing. She's teamed up with a Mr. Klump, a tabloid writer and a sexist jerk. They track the doctor to a ridiculously wholesome small town, which has never heard of Dr. Cromwell or his macabre experiments. Eventually, Sally and Klump realize the doctor is hiding out in a strange castle on the edge of town. They sneak inside and are confronted by a crowd of hideously deformed monster. But this situation is not exactly as it seems...

If it wasn't for the lack of adult content and a sickly sweet moral about not judging books by their covers, “All the Gory Details” probably could've worked as a proper episode of “Tales from the Crypt.” Dr. Cromwell's creations are surprisingly grotesque, some having multiple heads or arms in the place of legs. The twist ending, concerning the connection between the mysterious doctor and the wholesome townsfolk,  is actually pretty clever and feels totally abreast of the E.C. Comics style. Though its delivered with Saturday morning cartoon hamminess, even Mr. Klump's character arc totally fits this style. An unscrupulous journalist getting punished for his crime is exactly the kind of moral relativism “Tales from the Crypt” has always specialized in. In other words, it's a pretty good episode. Though, I'll admit, the slapstick rivalry between the Cryptkeeper and the Vaultkeeper in the host segments are beginning to ware on me. [7/10]

Forever Knight: Bad Blood

For the fourth episode of its second season, “Forever Knight” features that old chestnut of “Jack the Ripper was a vampire.” The episode begins with a surprisingly graphic sequence of a Canadian football player being torn to pieces right in front of his date. This attracts the attention of Liam O'Neal, an Irish detective that has been on the trail of this infamously grisly murderer for years. O'Neal believes in vampires, following a childhood encounter with one, and suspects Nick's secret. Naturally, Nick had a chance to stop Jack the Ripper decades ago, the notorious killer having a direct connection with Nicolas and LeCroix.

The Jack the Ripper connection in “Bad Blood” ends up being unimportant to the rest of the story. When we meet the notorious serial killer in the episode's last third, he's a snarling and inarticulate beast. (There's also not a single mention of prostitutes in this episode.) However, “Bad Blood” is still a worthy episode. The relationship between Liam O'Neal and the other police detectives, most notable in a car ride with Natalie and Nick where they discuss the little people, is pretty entertaining to watch. So is the scene where he heads to Club Raven and starts randomly flashing the crucifix at people he believes to be vampires. A lot of humor arises from the other cops tolerating O'Neal's eccentricities, while some tension exists as Nick worries about being revealed. The ending of the episode is action-packed and even a little spooky, as Schanke and a new recruit explore the foggy, run-down lair of Jack. Even if that final scene ends things on an unnecessarily downbeat note... [7/10] 

Halloween 2019: September 22nd

Child's Play (2019)

When all the eighties horror characters were getting rebooted, a remake of “Child’s Play” was, of course, announced. However, due to MGM’s financial woes, it never went into production. That is until two years ago, when a revitalized MGM and Orion decided to fast-track a new “Child’s Play” remake. This would outrage horror fans but not just for the usual reasons. As I’m sure you know, the old school “Chucky” series is still running, the original creator and star still involved, with a television show and new sequel currently in development. A remake going forward without Don Manchini or Brad Dourif greatly annoyed fans. Instead, Lars Klevberg of the perpetually shelved “Polaroid” would direct with Mark Hamill voicing the new Chucky. (Since Universal owns all the sequels, no element from those could be utilized in this film.) Nevertheless, the new “Child’s Play” hit theaters this past summer, greeted by decent box office but very mixed critical reception.

2019’s “Child’s Play” follows the original’s story in the broadest way. Single mom/store clerk Karen lives in a Chicago apartment, with her lonely son Andy. For his birthday, she gets him the hot new toy: A red-headed doll in overalls named Chucky... Who soon turns murderous. Andy knows the truth but his sanity is questioned and he’s accused of the crimes. However, the new film otherwise updates the premise in the trendiest ways possible. Andy has been aged up to 11 and given a group of similar friends, in order to get that sweet “Stranger Things”/“It” money. Most pressingly, Chucky is no longer possessed by serial killer Charles Lee Ray. Instead, he’s a WiFi-enabled, A.I. driven high-tech toy called a Buddi – not a Good Guy Doll – who has his safety protocols removed by a disgruntled factory employee and slowly becomes mad and murderous.

Though the franchise would eventually be driven by delightfully nutty impulses, the original "Child's Play" is a nasty satire about how toy marketing corrupts children’s minds. Since toy sales are down, the remake attempts to update this for our modern world. Chucky is now a symbol of two related fears. He’s the creation of Kaslan, an Apple-like corporation that produces “smart” technology. Since this Chucky is linked to these devices, he can make any Kaslan product - smart cars, drones, thermostats, lawn equipment - into murder weapons. This represents modern anxieties about how much control of our everyday lives we give over to corporate-driven digital devices. This pairs well with the older, brattier Andy and his obsession with all things high-tech, indicative of fears that modern kids spend too much damn time on their phones. That the omnipresent connectivity of this plugged-in world is ruining their minds and souls. All of that is sort of interesting but the film goes about it in the most ham-fisted ways, making the fear of technology a gimmick and Andy’s Zoomer tendencies too obnoxious. (Yes, there are Chucky memes.)

What is simultaneously most interesting and most blasphemous about 2019’s “Child’s Play” is its radically different Chucky. By writing out sadistic, perverted, oddly charismatic Charles Lee Ray, the remake creates a more sympathetic and even pathetic Chucky. 2019’s Chucky truly wants to be a good toy, a real friend to Andy. But he’s glitchy and a little too much of a kiddie toy for this older, edgier boy. Eventually, the lonely kid does bond with the robotic doll. However, as he makes real friends, Chucky is increasingly rejected and forced to perform crude pranks. His murders are ultimately twisted attempts to regain Andy’s favor and a reflection of the toy’s lack of morality. Which, in a Frankensteinian touch, is no fault of his own. When Andy is forced to take Chucky apart, or when the doll is shoved in a closest, he becomes a sad, abused creature. You can’t help but feel bad for this Chucky, a dejected plaything discarded the minute he’s no longer amusing, killing because he just wants to be loved. An interpretation furthered by Mark Hamill’s child-like performance, speaking the whole time in his “Brigsby Bear” voice, I’m not shocked some fans hated this almost-in-name-only depiction.

If allowed to focus solely on the weird relationship between Andy and Chucky, this “Child’s Play” might’ve been really fascinating. Instead, it also has to function as a new installment in a gory, horror/comedy slasher series. This creates the remake’s most tonally mismatched moments. This Chucky still cracks one-liners, though they are now parroted from the asshole tweens he hangs out with. The murder scenes get very elaborate, though Chucky still weirdly finishes most of his victims off by stabbing them in the chest. At times, the remake is trying to be an over-the-top gore comedy. Some of Chucky’s victims are exaggerated assholes we can’t wait to see die, like Karen’s shit-heel boyfriend and the apartment’s sleazy repair man. One death has a bloody toupee tossed onto a lawn gnome. Yet the gore is also actively mean-spirited, which is most apparent in the climatic scene where Chucky unleashes a whole store full of murderous Buddis on midnight shoppers. Is a scene of a little girl having blood sprayed in her face suppose to be funny or horrifying? The movie can’t seem to decide.

An uncertain tone isn’t the only sign this script might’ve been a bit rushed. There’s a general lack of logic here. The movie is ambiguously set around Christmas. Outside lights are being taken down in one scene but, in a later scenes, there’s a Black Friday-like shopping spree. Andy’s friends are more obnoxious than endearing and one of them just carries around a huge chainsaw, which nobody seems to think is weird. Andy is partially deaf now, with a hearing aide, a story element that never amounts to much. The truth is this new Chucky is too damn creepy, intentionally inhabiting the Uncanny Valley, to ever be believable as an actual product. How much Karen loves her son or simply tolerates his eccentricities is never made clear. Aubrey Plaza’s typically snarky performance doesn’t help the audience decide what’s going on here. And then, of course, the movie has to throw in horror cliches like jump scares or an undying murderer coming back for one more shock.

In other words, the remake of “Child’s Play” is kind of a mess. I don’t think Klevberg is so much to blame, as his direction is actually quite atmospheric at times. (And Bear McCreary gets points for incorporating the original film’s themes into his score.) I think this remake is so messy because it was being pulled in different directions. It was trying to be something totally different but also forced to remain faithful to the series as it has existed up to this point but also wanted to cash-in on modern trends. The result ends up satisfying no one, not fans or newcomers. They should’ve just made a feature length “BlinkyTM” movie, as that short was obviously a huge influence on this film. [5/10]

Indestructible Man (1956)

Which of the Universal Monster stars had the saddest end to their careers? Karloff's failing health left him wheelchair bound, dependent on oxygen tanks, and with his final few credits in some Mexican cheapies... But he also had “Targets,” so it wasn't all bad. Lugosi's morphine addiction left him washed-up before he ended his career with Edward J. Wood. But those movies, regardless of their quality, are cult classics now. So how about Lon Chaney Jr.? Chaney would transition from a horror star to a decent character actor. As the fifties became the sixties, his increased dependence on alcohol left him starring in movies like “Hillbillys in a Haunted House” and “Face of the Screaming Werewolf.” By the time he shot his final credit in “Frankenstein vs. Dracula,” he was so crippled by throat cancer that he couldn't even talk. (But even then, he had a “Spider Baby” every once in a while.) A film very typical of this portion of Chaney's career is 1956's “Indestructible Man.”

Bank robber and brutal killer Charles “Butcher” Benton awaits execution. Even as his time of death approaches, Benton refuses to reveal the location of his hidden cache of money to his crooked lawyer. Only Benton's ex-girlfriend, a dancer in a burlesque club, knows the location of the money. After “Butcher” is executed, his body is sold to an unscrupulous scientist. The doctor accidentally revives Benton, giving him bulletproof skin and super strength but leaving him mute. Now an undead super-killer, Benton goes on a rampage, seeking revenge on those that betrayed him and looking to retrieve his secret stash. Police detective Dick Chasen is on his trail and also begins to romance Benton's old girlfriend.

“Indestructible Man” bares a superficial resemblance to Chaney Jr.'s earlier shocker, “Man-Made Monster.” In both, a mad scientist uses electricity to turn Chaney into a silent killer. While “Man-Made Monster” was a straight-up vintage monster movie, “Indestructible Man” is more of a crime movie with sci-fi and horror elements. Once Chaney is resurrected, the mad scientists are literally tossed aside and never mentioned again. The gothic castles are traded out for the streets of L.A., which is among the film's more interesting aspects. Though he's technically one of the undead now, Chaney's Benton still acts like a common thug, most interested in petty revenge and getting his cash back. The detective element – following leads, hunting down witnesses, foot chases across urban streets – are extremely prominent. This often feels like it was written as a crime movie first, with the horror stuff added in later to make it more marketable.

The above description, sadly, makes “Indestructible Man” sound more interesting than it actually is. This movie is pretty dull. The investigation scenes drag horribly. The plot never becomes especially involving. Director Jack Pollexfen – largely a B-movie writer who was a co-director on his other two credits – has a very flat visual style. Worst yet, Dick Chasen narrates large stretches of the film. The very droll voice-over plays over about half of the film. What makes this really annoying is that the narration is often just describing what's happening on-screen. Apparently, this was done in order to invoke “Dragnet” but Max Showalter – better known as “Sixteen Candles'” Grandpa Fred and credited here as Casey Addams – is no Jack Webb.

Which leaves us with Lon Chaney. Even in a weaker film like this, Chaney has his moments. He begins the movie by delivering a vicious monologue to his crooked lawyer. Lon really bites into the delivery of “rotten stinking mouthpiece.” This, it turns out, is Chaney's only dialogue in the film, as he's rendered mute post-resurrection. Yet Chaney still acts his heart out with his sad sack face and hound dog eyes, suggesting a much more tragic, introspective inner life for this character. It's also surprising that “Butcher” Benton's rampage is so brutal. Chaney is choking people out, throwing them to the ground, tossing victims off buildings, and generally brawling his heart out. There is a certain novelty to that.

“Indestructible Man” is another public domain title, which means you can find it anywhere online and in any number of cheapie box sets. So at least you shouldn't have to pay for it if you do want to see it. The film was also featured on “Mystery Science Theater 3000,” which sounds about right. If you want to see a movie where Lon Chaney Jr. survives the electric chair and starts killing people afterwards, watch “Man-Made Monster.” Despite one or two interesting ideas, “Indestructible Man” is mostly a snooze-fest. [5/10]

Tales from the Cryptkeeper: The Avenging Phantom / Myth Conceptions

The third episode of “Tales from the Cryptkeeper: Season Two” is another two-fer. The first story, “The Avenging Phantom,” concerns a fearful young boy who is bullied by everyone around him. His sister picks on him for sleeping with a nightlight. The old lady he collects bottles for short-changes him. He's chased by a stray dog and bullied by a local bully named “Smash.” The boy wishes for the Avenging Phantom, a comic book superhero, to punish the people who torment him. That's exactly what he gets but it turns out the shadowy Phantom doesn't want to stop once it's started.

“The Avenging Phantom” comes close to getting at something kind of profound, as far as kid cartoons go. Our protagonist soon discovers that seeking revenge can only lead to more pain. However, the episode then spins this into a much lamer moral, about him finding the courage to sleep without a nightlight. However, the segment where the shadowy Avenger enters his room and begins to whisper threats at him is probably as creepy as “Tales from the Cryptkeeper” would be allowed to get. 

The second story in the episode also has its spooky moments. “Myth Conceptions” follows a money-hungry archaeologist trying to dig up Medusa's temple in Greece. However, he's not after the artifacts for their historical value. Instead, he hopes to find Perseus' golden shield and make himself rich. While digging, he gets into an argument with a local girl. He then digs himself into Medusa's underground temple, the tunnels long and winding like a snake, and finds himself stalked by the legendary monster.

Honestly, if it had a little more gore and nudity, “Myth Conceptions” probably could've worked as an actual episode of “Tales from the Crypt.” As in the original series, it follows an amoral asshole who is motivated only by a petty emotion who then gets his ironic comeuppance via a gooey monster. The twist ending involving Medusa's true identity is easy enough to guess but it's still a decently downbeat reveal to end the episode on. The sequence of the asshole archaeologist being pursued by Medusa through the shadowy tunnels is even mildly suspenseful. Most refreshingly, there's no heavy handed moral here. Just the idea that those who are greedy and don't heed warnings will get what's coming to them. John Kassir then takes us out with some quality cheese puns. If it wasn't for some overly broad slapstick involving the Vault Keeper at the very beginning, this would really be a stand-out episode. [7/10]

Forever Knight: Stranger Than Fiction

Here's a good one. Emily Weiss is the author of a hugely popular series of vampire novels, the latest of which is called “The Denied.” It would seem she has an obsessed fan, who thinks himself to be a vampire... Or, as Nick fears, may be an actual vampire. See, Weiss' novels are shocking close to fact and that is making the local vampire community edgy. Nick and Schanke are tasked with protecting Weiss and both get shocked into her fantasy world, Weiss developing feeling for Nick. Meanwhile, LaCroix continues to taunt Nick from the shadows, always urging him to give into his bloodsucking desires.

Instead of the usual flashback structure, “Stranger Than Fiction” does something a little more fun. It depicts sequences from Emily's books, with the show's cast members playing the various characters. So we see Nick, Natalie, and even Schanke's version of the novel, the last of which is pretty amusing. This is like the third time Nick has fallen in love with a witness he's suppose to protect, but it is compelling this time. Geraint Wyn Davies and guest star Larissa Laskin have really nice chemistry together. Though the resolution to the stalker story is a total shrug, it leads into a confrontation with LaCroix, which is very juicy. I wish this wasn't the second episode in a row where Nick uses his vampire hypnotism to make someone forget something but it's over all a strong episode, which touches upon some of the reason why literary fantasy worlds appeal to so much. [7/10]

Halloween 2019: September 21st

Midsommar (2019)

With “Hereditary” immediately being praised as a modern classic, a new benchmark in the genre, it was rather smart of A24 to stay in the Ari Aster business. Initially conceived as a Sweden set slasher flick – the film was produced by B-Reel Films, probably not coincidentally a Swedish company – Aster would develop the soon-entitled “Midsommar” into its own beast. The film would combine the currently trendy “elevated horror” trend with the film world's newfound fascination with “folk horror.” Much like the director's previous film, “Midsommar” would receive rave reviews from critics and a more split reaction among horror fans. Though horribly out of season right now – the movie was fittingly released in mid-July, save for an extra limited release of an extra-long director's cut at the start of the month – I figured I had to review it this Halloween, since it's one of the buzz-iest horror flicks of the year.

A tension has crept into college students Dani and Christian's relationship. He's becoming increasingly unwilling to handle her emotionally fragile state. This reaches a breaking point when Dani's bipolar sister kills her parents and then herself. Christian's friend Josh has been planning a trip to an isolated pagan community in Sweden for his thesis, at the insistence of Pelle, whose family lives in the village. Though Christian is reluctant, Dani is ultimately invited along. Once in the Harga community, the students are treated warmly... But are also exposed to the disturbing practices of the cult, which includes the elderly committing suicide. When Josh threatens to expose some of the town's secrets to the world, people begin to disappear. Dani, however, finds herself feeling more accepted.

Ari Aster clearly has his influences. “Hereditary” obviously owed a lot to “Rosemary's Baby.” “Midsommar,” meanwhile, is obviously inspired by “The Wicker Man.” Despite that, the director's films feel very innovative. “Midsommar” touches upon most of the story beats you'd expect. The longer the students stay in the village, the more unnerving secrets they discover. Suicide rituals lead to revelations of incest and magic spells. The kids ignore clear warning signs, like their friends disappearing or mysterious screams being heard in the forest. Yet even these cliché moments are made compelling by the deliberately paced story, which draws the viewer in a naturalistic way by focusing on the conflicts of the characters, justifying a two-hour-plus run time. Aster also brings a lot of absurdist humor to the proceedings, such as deadpan reactions to a bear in a cage, which further defines the film's story.

More than anything else, it's Aster's highly detailed direction that makes “Midsommar” such an immersive watch. The diorama-like set-ups of “Hereditary” lead to hyper-symmetrical visual design here, seen in the triangular temple at the center of the cult or rune-covered stones smeared with blood. Yet it's clear that Aster's main trick is to create an unnerving, freaky atmosphere that is broken up by sudden bursts of high impact violence. There's a sense of wrongness to every scene in the village. The numerous drug trip scenes – psychedelic mushrooms are used in place of any actual magic – are exceptionally well created, with subtle visual effects that make the viewer uneasy. This makes the sudden extreme gore even more unnerving than it would've otherwise been, Aster using every trick he can to make the exploded heads and shattered limbs hit the audience as hard as possible.

Aside from that similar approach, “Midsommar” features a few similarities with Aster's feature debut. Both involve nude cultist performing profane rites. The films begin in similar places. The death of her sister and parents turns Dani into an emotional raw nerve. Her barely repressed trauma boils over into hysterical screams whenever she gets a moment in private, triggered by the smallest things. Yet, where “Hereditary” was a descent into that grief and despair, “Midsommar” is a rise out of it that ends in catharsis. In the Harga, all the residents share in the feelings of each other, empathetically linked with each other. In a key moment, Dani finally breaks down in public, the other women of the village wailing with her. Her emotions go from being repressed to being embraced. And while it's tricky to describe “Midsommar's” ending as a happy one, it is one where our protagonist is allowed to feel something she's been holding back, where death is embraced as part of a natural cycle.

Early on, Ari Aster described “Midsommar” as an “apocalyptic break-up movie.” Dani and Christian pretty clearly have a toxic relationship. The film never makes him a cartoonish bad guy. He's a more everyday type of asshole. He gaslights his girlfriend frequently, smoothly (and probably unintentionally) manipulating her into apologizing for things she didn't even do. He repeatedly makes it clear that he doesn't really care about Dani very much, ignoring her clear trauma over her family's death and even forgetting her birthday. While she's noticing the very strange things happening in the village, he becomes obsessed with his thesis project... Which he's basically stealing from Josh. As if the point couldn't be clearer, Aster names the guy Christian in a movie mostly set in a pagan community. Just like he blew up familial resentment into a tale of demonic terror with “Hereditary,” “Midsommar” weaves a story of relationship toxicity into a folk horror narrative.

Part of what makes “Midsommar” work as well as it does is the cast. Florence Pugh, previously of the excellent “Lady MacBeth” and “The Falling,” shines as Dani. She strikes the viewer as someone barely holding it together. We get brief, traumatic glimpses at the inner turmoil she feels, never processing the horrific loss of her family. Honestly, I related greatly to the way she's frequently on the verge of a nervous attack, rarely helped by the clueless, insensitive people around her. This thoughtful performance contrasts nicely with Jack Reynor, who perfectly embodies a kind of passive-aggressive college age guy.

“Midsommar” definitely isn't as scary as “Hereditary.” While it has a similarly unnerving atmosphere, this film certainly never reaches the heights of hysterical terror that film did. “Midsommar” also has a lot more comedy, the culture clash discomfort being played for awkward laughs as much as unease. Or in the way Will Poutler's Mark, an utterly clueless and often stoned dude-bro, blunders his way through this alien community. Yet it's still an intricately designed movie with gorgeous production design, fantastic direction, wonderful performances, and a fascinating collection of ideas contained within it. Aster says he hopes to take a break from horror with his next film. Which I get, as creating emotionally intense films like these must be exhausting. Yet he's really, really good at this creepy stuff. I hope his absence from the genre doesn't go on too long. [9/10]

The Devil Bat (1940)

Of the 1930 stable of horror stars, Bela Lugosi is generally accepted to have had the weakest post-breakout roles. While Peter Lorre would be directed by Hitchcock and Karloff had a critically acclaimed run of films produced by Val Lewton, Lugosi would spent most of the thirties and forties starring in serials and Poverty Row productions. Among Lugosi's B-movie run, “The Devil Bat” is probably the best known. Not because the movie is especially well liked by classic horror nerds or genre historians. Instead, “The Devil Bat” is in the public domain, meaning it has been re-released on cheapie box sets more times than even Count von Count could possibly number.

The Martin Heath Cosmetic company has grown rich off the work of chemist Dr. Paul Carruthers.  He's starting to feel pretty resentful about it. So the doctor cooks up an elaborate scheme of revenge. Using electricity, he has grown a common bat to the size of an eagle. He then treats the animal to attack anyone wearing a special brand of aftershave, which he then gifts to the people he hates. Soon, the community is terrified by the Devil Bat, which flies into the night and tears out its victims' throats. Industrious reporter Johnny Layton and his ever-ready photographer “One-Shot” McGuire are soon on the case.

While I've always preferred Karloff and the Chaneys, there's no denying that nobody could ham it up quite like Bela Lugosi. “The Devil Bat's” best scenes are devoted to Lugosi's villainous scheming. He talks to the Devil Bat, elaborating verbosely about the destiny he has planned for the flying mammal. While wandering his secret laboratory, Lugois listens to his own inner monologue, which further explains to the audience why he's seeking revenge against the family that owns the cosmetics company. Probably the film's best scene has Carruthers' pride getting the best of him, as Martin Heath explains how the doctor could've been much richer if he had gone about things differently. Lugosi's face twists into a deep scowl as he begins to pontificate about imbeciles and bombastic ignoramuses. It's pretty fucking great.

“The Devil Bat” is by no means a sophisticated horror film. The special effects are extremely unconvincing. The titular killer is brought to life via close-ups of a clearly uncomfortable flying fox and a large, highly unconvincing rubber prop that listlessly flaps its wings through the night air. The fake bat is repeatedly shown leaving Lugosi's attic and, when it attacks people, the victims flop around awkwardly with this thing attached to their necks. The plot is heavy on cliches, with a spooky laboratory in a stone room with crackling electric equipment. Yet there's undeniable charm to these elements. “The Devil Bat” is incredibly creaky, with long scenes of Lugois tooling around his laboratory or people waiting in the dark woods for something to happen... And, because I love old black and white horror movies from the forties, I sort of love this stuff.

Adding to “The Devil Bat's” charm is its pair of exceedingly goofy heroes. Dave O'Brien's Johnny Layton is the kind of fast talking reporter hero you always imagine was prevalent in forties films. He's got a colorful editor always breathing down his neck, he sticks his in where it doesn't belong, and he's not above bending the truth for the sake of a good story. Donald Kerr as “One-Shot” is even goofier, bouncing off the film's hero and making outrageous demands of the editor once he has that power. He even gets a love interest of his own, in the form of the Hearth family's french maid. The scene where he photographs here is only mildly sexist by modern standards and is even sort of cute.

And one more thing about “The Devil Bat.” Its one of those movie that's about 30% montages of newspaper headlines, informing us of the (entirely off-screen) terror the Devil Bat has plunged this town into. Yet these moments have the incredibly cute touch of a bat's shadowy silhouette floating over the newspapers. That's exactly the kind of doofy but cute touch that makes this an enjoyable little B-picture. Add in a fantastically hammy performance from Lugosi and classic horror fans with a tolerance for rinky-dink bullshit will probably find themselves enjoying this one. Hey, Kino Lorber just put out a Blu-Ray remaster so you don't even have to settle for the hundreds of shitty looking public domain releases either! [7/10]

Tales from the Cryptkeeper: Cold Blood, Warm Hearts / The Spider and the Flies

The second episode of “Tales from the Cryptkeeper: Season Two” is one of those installments with two stories in it, for some reason. “Cold Blood, Warm Hearts” is presented by the Old Witch, after she once again interrupts the Cryptkeeper's host segment in a way that I'm already getting bored with. “Cold Blood, Warm Hearts” concerns the sea-side town of Culver Bay, where reports of a monster in the water is scarring people off. An obsessive fisherman plans to hunt down the monster, much to the chagrin of a reporter who sees the monster as a potential endangered species that needs to be protected.

“Cold Blood, Warm Hearts” does have its interesting moments. The sea monster has a cool design, looking like a serpentine mermaid with glassy deep sea fish eyes and teeth. This leads to an unexpected twist that genuinely caught me off-guard, setting up a surprisingly cute ending. (There's also way more quasi-nudity in that ending than I ever would've anticipated.) I'm less of a fan of the blatant Quint rip-off that hunts the fish monsters. Or of the weirdly jerky animation and bland character designs. Season two of “Tales from the Cryptkeeper” is laying on the moral lessons thicker this time, as “Cold Blood, Warm Hearts” is obviously a tale about not judging books by their covers. 

The second story “The Spider and the Flies,” is told by the Cryptkeeper. Set in the wild west, it depicts a boy who has a tense relationship with his little sister. He especially hates her habit of making nasty tasting pies. Meanwhile, the town is soon overwhelmed by a plague of ferocious spiders. A mysterious mask man rides into town and promises to get rid of the spiders, assuming the townsfolk pay his astronomical fee. That's before the kids uncover a previously unknown weakness of these spiders.

I thought “The Spider and the Flies” was going to turn into a variation on the Pied Piper story, with spiders instead of rats and a presumably less dark ending. Instead of teaching kids that you need to fairly compensate blue-collar workers, “The Spider and the Flies” goes for the much lamer moral of learning to love your annoying little siblings. The horde of spiders are more cute than they are scary, their reign of terror seeming pretty harmless ultimately. The reveal about the mysterious man is easy enough to predict, though that story thread ends in an incredibly sudden fashion. At least the animation is better than the first half. Over all, this is a really uneven episode. [5.5/10]

Forever Knight: A Fate Worse Than Death

As the first episode of “Forever Knight's” season two sheds a little more light on Nick Knight's origin, the second episode of the season looks into the past of Jeanette, another of LaCroix's offspring that has had an on-again, off-again relationship with Nick over the centuries. The episode begins when a call girl is murdered in a family man's hotel room. This leads Nick and Schanke to Julie, who shares the same pimp as the murdered girl. Nick suspects that man is responsible for the killing but the mystery soon grows more convoluted. Meanwhile, Jeanette feels sorry for Julie, as she was also a “lady of the evening” a long, long time ago and sees herself in the confused young woman.

“A Fate Worse Than Death” almost feels like a subversion of the disposable sex worker trope, which “Forever Knight” has presented uncritically before. By being explicitly about how prostitute are abused – by their pimps and society at large – it adds more depth than is usually afforded sex workers on cop shows. Julie has agency and the similarities to Jeanette's own past help further flesh that out. Sadly, the episode throws all that ambiguity when the true identity of the killer is revealed. The sex workers may not exactly be disposable but they aren't really respected as human beings with really difficult jobs. Luckily, the episode is still worth seeing thanks to the interaction between Nick and Jeanette, which is rich with history and features some nicely spooky sequences of foggy city streets and medieval castles. [7/10]