Halloween 2018: October 28

Ghost Stories (2017)

The English have a long history of ghost stories. In fact, it's tempting to say the English invented the ghost story as it exist in the modern sense. The English also have a long tradition with the horror anthology. In the sixties, Amicus distinguished itself from the competition at Hammer by pumping out a series of spooky portmanteau films, one or two of which became classics. In 2010, actors/comedians/writers Andy Nyman and Jeremy Dyson created the stage play “Ghost Stories” as a homage to both of these traditions. Seven years, this homage came full-circle, as Dyson and Nyman adapted their play into a feature film. The cinematic “Ghost Stories” got some pretty good reviews, so I knew I had to check it out this October.

As a child, Philip Goodman was inspired by Charles Camerson, a famous television personality and debunker of the supernatural. He's followed a similar career path, becoming a skeptical investigator of the paranormal. Cameron disappeared years ago but Goodman has managed to track him down. The elderly Cameron presents him with his three strangest cases, that convinced him the supernatural is real: A night watchman working in the abandoned mental hospital for women encounters a ghostly child, a teenager hits a strange creature while out driving his father's car, and a financier is haunted by bizarre occurrences while waiting for his wife to give birth. As Goodman digs deeper, we see his own frightening experience from childhood.

Showing its allegiance to the genre, “Ghost Stories” functions more on atmosphere and suspense than gore or flashy special effects. The first proper segment focuses almost exclusively on atmosphere, as the abandoned mental hospital makes for a really creepy location. Sound design is also used excellent, as the night watchman's radio and the static from his walkie talkie further emphasize the isolation. The third segment, about the pregnant wife and the poltergeist, similarly uses a chilly location and spooky, barely seen events to build tension. In both cases, the grim suspense builds towards solid jump-scares, some spooky ghosts leaping towards the viewer in sudden ways. This approach makes “Ghost Stories” an effectively spooky horror picture with plenty of fun shocks.

The second segment, in particular, best balances this formula. The teenage boy at the story's center, fantastically played by Alex Lawther, is already nervous. He's a teen trying to hide something from his verbally abusive parents. Driving a car down a weird and dark back roads is an experience many of us can relate to, the sequence nicely capturing that creepy feeling. That notion builds to more dread once the strange creature begins creeping around. Some cool, “Evil Dead”-style P.O.V. shots are effectively employed in this scene. It builds towards a wonderful moment of dark humor and bristling tension, when the fiendish goat man finally makes it inside the car.

Lots of ghost stories have paired a skeptic against the supernatural before. “Ghost Stories” does this as well, characterizing Philip Goodman as something of a priggish jerk. He's too confident in his abilities as a debunker and will be humbled by his experience with the paranormal. However, “Ghost Stories” also grasps that ghosts resonant more as symbols than as proof of the afterlife. Each of the hauntings speak to the beleaguered protagonists' unstable mental states. The night watchman has a dead wife and a daughter locked in a coma. The teenage driver is belittled and traumatized by abusive parents. Martin Freeman's financier puts a productive face on the loss he experienced. Ghosts aren't real in actually, which “Ghost Stories” tactfully acknowledges by linking its spectres with the trauma that really haunts the living.

This is an astute and interesting observation, that is fairly evident throughout “Ghost Stories'” first three stories. In its last sequence, which brings the framing device full circle, the film annoyingly spells out this subtext for anyone who might not have caught it. The increasingly surreal denouncement leads to a twist ending, indulging in a trope that I thought was long since discredited. This may be another homage to Amicus' films, such as “Dr. Terror's House of Horror,” which frequently concluded on twists such as this. It left me with a bad taste in my mouth this time.

It's a bummer that “Ghost Stories” kind of shits the bed in the last fifteen minutes. Up until that point, it's the perfect kind of viewing for late October. Heavy on creepy atmosphere, with some cool special effects, some fun scares, a brain and a heart. Ultimately, the writers prove to be a bit too clever for their own good. Still, three out of four ain't bad. [7/10]

The Black Sleep (1956)

“The Black Sleep” was made in 1956, to fill the back-end of a double feature topped by “The Quatermass Xperiment,” released in the U.S. as “The Creeping Unknown.” The film was shot in all of twelve days. It was directed by Reginald Le Borg, who made a number of programmers for Universal in the thirties and forties. Among them was “The Mummy's Ghost,” “Jungle Woman,” and three of the Inner Sanctum Mysteries. (He would go on to make one more horror credit of note, Vincent Price flick “Diary of a Madman.”) After release, the film quickly sank into obscurity. I had never even heard of the movie until it started cropping up on TCM Underground a while back. It didn't receive a DVD release until 2011, a Blu-Ray from Kino-Lorber following in 2016. The film has received some minor critical acclaim since re-surfacing.

In 1872, Dr. Gordon Ramsay is about to be executed, framed for the murder of another man. As he awaits the gallows, he's visited by Sir Joel Cadman. A doctor, Cadman feeds him a strange drug – which he calls the Black Sleep – that puts Ramsay into a death-like trance. Freed, Cadman recruits Ramsay to be his assistant. Cadman, in hopes of restoring his comatose wife, has begun performing unethical brain surgery on people he's captured and given the Black Sleep to. The victims are provided by a tattoo artist turned body snatcher. Though Ramsay wonders if Cadman is actually furthering science at first, he soon discovers that Cadman's behavior has quickly escalated to the grotesque and ghoulish.

Released in the middle of the Atomic Horror era, “The Black Sleep” is an old fashion gothic story. It partakes freely in classic horror cliches but in a slightly weird way. Cadman is very much a mad scientist. His efforts are more based in fact than expected, a primitive form of brain surgery which is shown in surprisingly graphic detail. It takes a while for him to be revealed as a truly insane villain and he has a sympathetic back story. The film floats a lot of other gothic archetypes, like a secret passageway, a dungeon full of lunatics, an unscrupulous body snatcher, and a brutish mute. Some of these elements are treated in a very matter-of-fact manner, the secret passageway being explained away and the body snatcher just being a petty crook. The mutants in chains still act like monsters, with their deformed faces, hair-covered bodies, and insane rantings. They are still far more human than expected. I'm not sure if “The Black Sleep” was attempting to drag some old tropes into the modern age or was just half-assed.

I'm more inclined to believe the latter because most of “The Black Sleep” is really boring. The film is painfully slow. There's lots of long scenes of people standing around and talking. Seemingly every character explains their history through extended dialogue sequence. One moment that is insanely dragged out involves Udu, the roma body snatcher, luring a beggar woman into his parlor. Le Borg's direction is flat and uninvolving. He manages to make an old castle, the moodiest of all settings, look as uninteresting as an office building. Only a few moments – the descent into the dungeon, Ramsay's nightmare about the man they crippled – provide any classic horror atmosphere at all.

“The Black Sleep” likely owes its renown to its cast. The film is packed with horror icons, many of whom were washed-up in 1956. Sadly, they aren't given much to do. Bela Lugosi, in his final completed credit, is largely wasted as a mute servant. Lon Chaney Jr. plays another mute, this one more feral. He gets to stalk and brood some, using his large frame and soulful face to generate a tiny bit of pathos. John Carradine appears near the end as a ranting Muslim extremist and manages to be the most entertaining performer in the film. Tor Johnson also shows up, as another monster with whited-out eyes. Largely, this is Basil Rathbone's show. While the material is a bore, Rathbone treats it with utmost seriousness, attempting to craft a nuanced and intimidating villain. (The film almost had another classic genre star in it, as Peter Lorre was originally cast as Udu. After he asked for too much money, they got Akim Tamiroff to do a serviceable Lorre impersonation.) Herbert Rudley and Patricia Blake are forgettable as the hero and distressed damsel.

I really wished that “The Black Sleep” would be an overlooked classic. That star-studded cast got my hopes up. The mutated people in the basement provide an early example of body horror. The one guy's face is melting and the woman is bald, with patches of hair all over her body. That monster-filled climax is the only time this movie comes to life. Apparently, the filmmakers took the idea of a movie about a death-like trance a little too literally. I don't even like “The Quatermass Xperiment” that much but that double feature really sagged in its second half. If you're looking to nap though, “the Black Sleep” comes highly recommended. [5/10]

Ticks (1993)

The big bug film has its place in genre history. Despite remaining beloved by a certain breed of horror fan, that particular type of story largely burned out its popularity with the public by the end of the fifties. However, the enduring cult appeal of the subgenre has led enterprising genre filmmakers to make new additions to the big bug canon, about once every ten years or so. This year we had “It Came from the Deserts” – ants – and last decade we had “Eight Legged Freaks.” In the early nineties, “Hellbound: Hellraiser II's” Tony Randell and Doug Beswick would be inspired by another arachnid to create “Ticks.” Considering they suck blood and carry disease, it's surprising nobody thought to make a horror movie about ticks before. Released direct-to-video in 1993, the film would still win some minor acclaim from creature feature fans.

A group of troubled urban youths have been gathered up for a weekend trip into the Californian forest. The nerdy Tyler has a phobia of the forest, which is why his dad is sending him on this trip. He quickly meets the other campers: Hip-hop kid Panic, spoiled rich girl Dee Dee, her Latino boyfriend Rome, the unusually quiet Kelly, and Melissa, the daughter of the camp organizer. What the kids don't know is something sinister lurks in the woods. A ring of marijuana growers have been using a special steroid to strengthen the drug. This has had the unforeseen side effect of making the local wood tick population grow to massive size. Soon, the kids are fighting off the giant bloodsuckers.

Doug Beswick is a special effects supervisor while Tony Randell got his start in the same field. So it's not surprising that “Ticks” is a film all about the creative special effects. The titular critters look fantastic, appearing enough like normal ticks to be believable while being exaggerated enough to be movie monsters. Their movement is also surprisingly life-like, especially in a scene where one escapes into a veterinarian's office. Not satisfied with just making a movie about palm sized ticks, the filmmakers include lots of creative effects. The ticks grow in fleshy sacks. They crawl inside people's bodies, causing mutations in gory fashion. The biggest special effects splurg occurs when one of the human baddies is mutated into an even bigger queen tick. It's all well down and it's beautifully gooey.

“Ticks” doesn't just have cool special effects in its corner. The cast of young protagonists are surprisingly affable. Even the most obnoxious teen in the movie is surprisingly likable, as there's something cute about Rome and Dee Dee's interactions. Seth Green is lovably nerdy and shy as Tyler. Alfonso Ribeiro, Carlton himself, has a ridiculous part as tough black kid, Panic. (So named because that's what he never does.) Despite that, Ribeiro makes the character humane and enjoyable, especially because of how much he loves his dog. The camp owners want to genuinely help the teens, which seem more mixed-up than truly troubled. Continuing this friendly tone, most of the kids make it out alive. They band together to fight the bad guys, survive the giant ticks, and escape to safety.

While the ticks may be the primary threat of “Ticks,” obviously, they are not truly evil. The bloodsucking arachnids, referred to exclusively as insects, are just doing what they always do. When the forest is set ablaze, the ticks even become slightly sympathetic, as they flee the fire. Instead, humans are the villains of “Ticks.” The kids stumble upon a group of pot dealers, who are viciously violent and kind of sleazy. They are responsible for just as many fatalities as the big bugs. I'm not sure if “Ticks” is making some sort of point about bloodsuckers but, either way, it's interesting that the big bugs are more a neutral force of nature than actually evil.

There's some cult cred in the cast too. Clint Howard appears as the drug chemist indirectly responsible for creating the giant ticks. Funny enough, his dad Rance has an even smaller role as the friendly sheriff. Just for fun, the movie also throws in some drug-trip sequences, as the ticks' bites are also mildly hallucinogenic. In short, “Ticks” is a bunch of fun. The effects are fantastic and bloody. The script is goofy and fun. The characters are surprisingly likable, campy as they might be. This might not be high art but is, nevertheless, a perfect horror snack for weirdos like myself. [7/10]

The Demon (1972)
Oni

I guess it should be obvious by now that I'm really fascinated by myths and stories of monsters from any culture, foreign or otherwise. This is likely why, when researching short titles for this marathon, Kihachiro Kawamoto's 1972 stop motion short “The Demon” – simply “Oni” in the original Japanese – leaped out at me. Set in medieval Japan, the short concerns two brothers who live alone with their elderly mother. They live her alone in their home as they go out to hunt deer. Along the way, they are attached by an oni, an ogre of traditional Japanese myth. The one brother is caught by the creature and freed when the other brother slashes away its arms. When they return home, they are greeted by a grisly surprise.

“Oni” is based off a 15th century folk tale, which is very evident. Much like an old legend, the story has a cylindrical feeling. Early on, we learn that the boy's mother has had a hard, loveless life. She's a miserable old woman. When the hunters are attacked by an unseen ogre in the woods, successfully disarming it, it's easy to see where this is going. The moral here is twofold. If looked at from the mother's perspective, this becomes a story about appreciating your parents, no matter how old or bitchy they might get. If taken from the sons' point of view, this is a legend about how you should never let the hardships of life turn you into a heartless person. Either way, the ironic and mythical tone of this short is part of its appeal.

Of course, the animation is probably what you'll most remember about “The Demon.” The models look like figures from traditional Japanese wood-cuttings, adding to the film's classical feeling. They move in a dance-like rhythm, which pairs nicely with Seiji Tsuruzawa's staccato acoustic string score. There's no spoken dialogue, the plot instead conveyed with silent movie intertitles, further adding to the classical tone. The backgrounds are largely black, save for the splash of gold used for the trees and bushes. This insertion of regular animation, against the stop-motion puppets, really makes “Oni” pop. The way the oni is largely only seen as a part of red eyes against a vague, moving shape is likely the creepiest thing about this monster short. Though I can see the weird dolls that star in the film creeping some people out. I found “Oni” really fascinating and will probably look up some of Kawamoto's other shorts now. [7/10]

Halloween 2018: October 27

I am a Halloween freak through-and-through. However, I tend to go low-key with my yard decorations. My sole outside addition to the outside this year is a corgi dressed as a bumblebee and that's about it. I usually stick with the same set of pumpkins and skeletons. My neighbors feel differently. Right up the street from me is a house that filled its yard with blow-ups. This includes two dragons, a dancing ogre, a shark eating a tourist, and one of the sand worms from "Beetlejuice." Their yard set-up also includes a graveyard full of zombies and several plastic dinosaur skeletons. I am envious and admire their convictions.

The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)

Bryan Bertino’s “The Strangers” was a grim horror picture that managed to create some overwhelming suspense, despite its characters being dumb as a post. The film, with its healthy box office returns, seemed ready-made for a sequel. The trio of masked terrorizesrs were obviously ready to try the same stunt again. Despite these factors, the years went by without a “Strangers 2,” to the point were we all sort of forgot about the original a little. Finally, ten years later, the follow-up was made. It would seem the anniversary was what finally got part two out of its decade long stint in Development Hell.

I was really hoping “The Strangers: Prey At Night” would pick up right where the first left off but, since some modern smart phones appear, it looks like a decade passed in-universe too. Kinsey is a troubled teen and her parents, Mike and Cindy, are soon sending her off to boarding school. Before that, they take the family - including older brother Luke - to visit their aunt and uncle in a Kentucky trailer park. That night, there is a knock on the door. An unidentified girl asks for someone named Tamara. Yep, the Strangers – Dollface, Pin-Up and the Man in the Mask – are up to their old tricks again, terrorizing and murdering innocent people.

Even with its flaws, the original “Strangers” was an amazingly tense experience. Bertino used isolation and suspense to create an unsettling horror film. “Prey at Night” perhaps realized it couldn't top the original's grim thrills. Instead, the sequel goes for broader, more tawdry shocks. There's more gore, victims getting impaled, slashed, and left in puddles of their own bloods. The Strangers utilizes a jack-in-the-box, a gas station slushie machine, and messages written in blood to freak out their targets. The film doesn't use jump scares so much as shorter stretches of tension that conclude with louder shocks. Director Johannes Roberts, whose “F” was influenced by the first “Strangers,” flavors the villains' sadism and stalking with more of a sense of fun. The sequel trades the original's relentless dread for more of a fun house style of horror, an effective switch.

The sequel uses this somewhat trashier atmosphere to create some wild set pieces. A watermelon tossed at a windshield results in a truck slamming into a trailer, producing one of the nastier deaths in the movie. Just like in an eighties slasher pic, the cops are useless. Once one comes along to help Kinsey, he's gorily dispatched minutes later. (Also like in a classic slasher pic, the killers cut the phone lines.) That eighties approach continues in the soundtrack. A crash-zoom is used fantastically outside a pool. This proceeds a fight scene inside the water, scored to “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Another Jim Steinman piece of overwrought soft-rock, Air Supply's “Making Love Out of Nothing at All,” provides the theme for a suitably deliberate truck-vs.-feet chase. None of these moments are scary, exactly, and certainly not on par with the original. But they are fun.

Another big difference between “The Strangers” and “Prey at Night” is the approach the films take to their heroes. The married couple in the first film were largely powerless against the Strangers, outmatched at every turn. The family in the sequel prove far scrapier. Mom and Dad – played by an underutilized Christina Hendricks and Mike Henderson – go down pretty early. However, their kids are surprisingly tough. They make repeated attempts to fight off the masked villains. That combat in the pool is just one example of a drawn-out fight scene between one of the Strangers and one of their targets. These kids don't miss an opportunity to use deadly force either, shotgun blasts and explosions putting in an appearance. The take-down of the killers are so brutal that it's going to be hard to make another one of these.

Hard but not impossible. “The Strangers: Prey at Night” made twenty-four million against a five million dollar budget, which isn't a huge number but is surely profitable. So a third film certainly seems plausible. If that's coming, hopefully it won't take another ten years to get here. The film includes several deliberate references to older horror classics, with a score that directly copies John Carpenters “The Fog” score and a climatic shout-out to “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” It also rolls the Smiley Face killer theory into its trio's M.O. While not as frightening as the first film, “Prey at Night” is a reasonably entertaining sequel. [7/10]

Xtro (1982)

When Betty Hill ripped off “The Outer Limits” and told everyone her and her husband had been abducted by aliens, they really changed pop culture forever. The alien abduction put a modern name and face to the sleep paralysis phenomenon people have been experiencing since the beginning of time. Unsurprisingly, the alien abduction concept has inspired many horror movies. While most of these greys-ploition flicks came during the nineties, a film from 1982 was ahead of the curve. “Xtro” has the distinction of being one of the few home-grown films to be banned during the U.K.'s Video Nasty moral panic. I'm sure Mary Whitehouse was aghast that such a sick film could've come from her own country.

Tony's dad, Sam, disappeared three years ago. They were playing in the yard when a mysterious light appeared above. Sam vanished into thin air. Nobody believed this account and Tony's mom, Rachael, concludes that Sam just walked out on his family. In the time since, she has moved a French babysitter into the house and is living with a new boyfriend, Joe. Tony has never forgotten his dad though, nor given up hope he may return. The ball of light returns, producing a monster that impregnates a woman, who gives birth to a fully-grown version of Sam hours later. This extraterrestrial Sam soon reunites with his boy. This throws the household into chaos. Alien Sam can only keep up the charade for so long, so he infects Tony with strange powers, furthering the goal of alien insemination.

“Xtro” runs with a classic horror idea: The thought that a missing loved one can return but is somehow wrong. Tony is overjoyed to have his dad back at first. However, after catching his dad eating his pet snake's eggs, it becomes apparent that there's something wrong with Sam. This theme continues later in the film, when Rachael and Sam's attempt to rekindle their romance ends with gruesome body horror. Ultimately, the smartest thing “Xtro” does is use this idea to speak to a young boy's anxiety about his mom's new boyfriend. Tony never accepted that his dad left and hates that Mom has tried to replace him. This anxiousness manifest in his father returning as a horrific alien being, that further corrupts and destroys the happiness the household once had. 

That story idea – a boy discovering his returned dad is actually a monster – should've been straight-forward enough. Instead, “Xtro” goes on a number of bizarre digression. When Alien Sam infects Tony, the boy is given magical powers. He brings his toys to life. A tumbling acrobat becomes a small clown. This guy swings a buzz saw yoyo and wacks people with a rubber mallet. Tony also grows his G.I. Joe toy into a life-sized solider, who takes bloody revenge on the mean lady downstairs. Oh, also a black panther shows up. This stuff doesn't make much sense and feels unrelated to the rest of “Xtro's” story. It definitely feels like the writers threw this stuff in to pad the script out to feature length. But is some bizarrely intense horror imagery nevertheless.

“Xtro's” main claim to notoriety is its extremely gooey special effects. The monster on the poster only appears in the beginning (and in a bogus internet image about “skinwalkers” since), spraying a dude with acid and raping a random woman with a deformed ovipositor. That's where the very gross image of a woman giving birth to a full-grown man comes in. From there, “Xtro” throws in more gooey gore and gross body horror. Sam passes his powers along by sucking on the skin, producing huge tumors. Later, Tony's baby-sitter is turned into a grub-like incubator, popping out squishy alien eggs. The film's finale features Sam decompositing into a light-spewing monster. The disturbingly vivid special effects add to “Xtro's” mean-spirited and nightmarish tone, of fucked-up shit happening for very little reason.

“Xtro's” advertising campaign made repeated references to “E.T.” Indeed, the film plays a little like an extremely sick and dark variation on that film's cuddlier visitor. If “Xtro” can be called a rip-off of Spielberg's blockbuster, director Harry Bromley Davenport decided each movie in the totally disconnected “Xtro” series should rip-off another popular alien story. “Xtro II: The Second Encounter” draws heavily from “Aliens,” with military dudes battling extraterrestrial monsters. “Xtro 3: Watch the Skies” came in 1995. It was likely inspired by “The X-Files,” with its story involving government conspiracy and alien autopsies. Now, supposedly Davenport is working on a fourth “Xtro” film, which will presumably rip off “Guardians of the Galaxy” or something. As for the original, it's not a classic. However, it's baffling plot and icky special effects certainly doesn't make it forgettable either. [7/10]

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: October Country

On paper, the idea of a dark and gritty reboot of “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch” seems totally ridiculous. Especially if your primary exposure to the character is the deeply dumb and intensely silly nineties sitcom. Archie's long-running comic book has, traditionally, been on a similar wavelength. Yet the publisher did try to make Sabrina a proper horror host in the past. In 2014, after the shocking critical success of the zombie-themed “Afterlife with Archie” comic, the publisher decided a similarly serious reboot of the already occult-adjacent “Sabrina” might be worth a go. That comic has also been enthusiastically received, despite the company's inability to get actual issues out. And after a similarly grown-up take on “Archie” did well on TV, an adaptation of “The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina” came to Netflix this October. What could be more perfect for Halloween?

“The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina” does share some surface similarities with the other versions of the character. Sabrina Spellman is still the teenage off-spring of a human woman and an immortal warlock. Due to her absentee parents, she lives with her aunts Hilda and Zelda. Her boyfriend is still the lovable but dumb Harvey. As her sixteenth birthday approaches, she's about to be inducted into full witch training. The big difference is that these witches literally worship Satan. Sabrina's birthday coincides with Halloween and a lunar eclipse. At her Black Baptism, she'll put her name in the devil's book and leave her home town to attend a witching academy. Sabrina is not sure if she wants to do this, disliking these institutions and not wanting to leave her friends behind. Outside forces are conspiring to make sure she does.

“October Country,” the show's debut, seems designed to convince anyone doubtful that a “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” reboot could actually function as horror. This Sabrina is a horror fan, introduced at a screening of “Night of the Living Dead.” She has a spooky nightmare or vision where she sees a baby with goat hooves. A trip through a corn maze features an attacking scarecrow, a mildly tense moment. After eating a magic apple, Sabrina has a vision of dead witches and a brooding Baphomet, which is fairly impressive. The introduction of Salem, her feline familiar – who is silent here, instead of a wisecracker – is maybe the creepiest scene in the episode. A shadow, wispy creature appears behind Sabrina's mirror, whispering in a spooky fashion, before revealing its black cat form. Beyond that, the show has a beautifully autumnal feeling, with warm but misty colors.

So “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina” does fine with the horrific stuff. What about the other elements? Sabrina's adventures with her high school friends are mildly interesting. After her gender non-binary friend Susie is bullied, and the principal refuses to help, she casts an arachnophobic curse on him. The sequence where Sabrina tells Harvey the truth about her origins, and then wipe his memories after his incredulous response, is cute. The cast is fairly likable. Kiernan Shipka nicely combines a girlish charm and some smarmier sarcasm to make Sabrina a protagonist we don't mind following. She has good chemistry with Lucy Davis and Miranda Otto as her aunts.

However, the show is already attempting to mine a deeper lore by setting up lots of mysteries and potential plot lines: What are the Satanic forces' final plans for Sabrina? What happened to her parents? What's up with those Weird Sisters? Or the sinister entity that has possessed one of her teacher? Is a witch hunter really active in town? Considering how exhausted serialized storytelling makes me, I'm not sure if I'm interested in seeing those questions answered. However, “October Country” is interesting enough that I think I'll give the next few episodes a try. See if my feelings about the show is more solidly negative or positive after that. [7/10]

Harpya (1979)

In order to figure out which horror shorts I would watch this year, I consulted a Letterboxd list of horror shorts freely available on the internet. I picked out the ones that sounded interesting or were especially praised. That's how I decided upon “Harpya,” a 1979 short from Beglian filmmaker Raoul Servais. The surreal short concerns a man discovering a harpy in a fountain. He takes the bird-monster home with him. She soon takes over his life, eating all his food. When he attempts to escape, the bird-woman tears his legs off. He keeps trying to get away but the mythological monster-woman continues to pursue him.

“Harpya” is extremely weird, in a very aggressive and absurd fashion. The short is animation via stop-motion but, instead of using clay or models, uses actual actors. They move stiffly and comically though expressionistic sets, their movements combined with goofy sound effects. This, combined with the simplistic goals of the characters and bizarre events happening on-screen, makes “Harpya” more a work of surreal humor than surreal horror. This is also reflected in its blunt, odd ending. Yet there's definitely something creepy about Servais' film. The harpy woman is annoying, yes, but also determined to ruin this guy's life. The halting movement of the characters feels very much like something out a bad dream. It's not a very satisfying experience, and is borderline annoying at times, but it is interesting. [6/10]

Halloween 2018: October 26

Mandy (2018)

If one movie has dominated the discussion among weirdo cinema fans in 2018, it's “Mandy.” I can't tell you how many raves I've read about this one. Cheddar Goblin has been showing up in my social media feeds for a while, it feels like. “Mandy” has been so popular, that it's actually stayed in theaters long after most weirdo indie movies shuffle onto streaming services and video-on-demand. We've all come around to loving Nic Cage at his most unhinged these days and “Mandy” has ridden that affection to become a true cult phenomenon. This is all the more surprising, as Panos Cosmatos’ latest is genuinely a very weird movie.

Red Miller, a humble lumberjack, and his wife, Mandy, live a peaceful existence among the forest near the Shadow Mountains. Both have had hard lives and have found solace and love in each other’s arms. While walking to work, Mandy catches the eye of Jeremiah Sand, leader of a drug-fueled cult known as Children of the New Dawn. He employs the Black Skulls - a gang of LSD-addicted, S&M gimp demon-bikers - to bring Mandy to him. When the woman rejects his advances, Sand burns her alive. Red, forging his own battle axe, now embarks on a rage-driven quest of bloody revenge.

“Mandy” is another 2018 genre effort set in the eighties, specifically 1983. This is but one signifier Cosmatos makes to his influences. The film is separated into three chapters. The first two appear on-screen, in a font right off an eighties paperback. The third chapter, sharing its name with the film, appears in a scrawled death metal font. Both of these elements are furthered referenced in Mandy’s love of fantasy novels and Johan Johansson’s noise-driven score. The characters talk about warlocks, cosmic Marvel comics, and acid. Cosmatos combines these elements with a truly hallucinatory visual sense. The film is shot almost entirely in purple, red, and orange colors. Lengthy drug trips frequently play out on screen. Elements of this psychedelic trip onto Hell may seem familiar but the whole feels utterly original.

These combinations are also evident in the film’s diverging tones. The first half of the film is molasses slow, lending a ponderous, prog-rock feel to Red and Mandy’s idyllic lives. Once Red begins his march of vengeance against the Black Skulls, “Mandy” morphs into a hellish, extremely bloody horror film. The Cenobite-Like bikers appear inhuman, with distorted voices, claws, and razor sharp penises. They bring face-melting acid trips and bottomless pits with them into the film. Director Panos is the son of George P. Cosmatos, director of “Rambo: First Blood Part II” and “Cobra.” Meaning cheesy eighties action is also in “Mandy’s” DNA. This leads to moments like Red’s home-made battle axe swinging through the air in artificial ways. Or a chainsaw duel, a spectacular moment of sparks and blood. Once again, Cosmatos blends this all together with his trippy presentation.

All of this would’ve been enough to confirm “Mandy’s” cult following. Cosmatos throws in other oddball excesses though. On his journey, Red encounters a drug chemist, who keeps a full-grown tiger in a cage, the symbolism of which I’m still trying to unravel. Red’s nightmares are filled with Frazetta-like animated sequence, showing cosmic landscapes and his naked wife kneeling before a dead ogre. There’s obnoxious folk songs, male frontal nudity, a crossbow named the Reaper, Illuminati-baiting triangular visuals, and the Cheddar Goblin. Though that last element appears on-screen only for a few minutes, his impact has been vast. Created by the team behind “Too Many Cooks,” the puppety goblin shills for a Kraft Mac and Cheese rip-off and spews macaroni all over kids. The hilarious commercial, and Cage’s amazing reaction to it, provides some much needed levity.

Nic Cage may very well be the element that holds “Mandy” together and makes it a truly impressive film. Cage is largely silent throughout the film, having little dialogue. The actor has become well known for his cinematic freak-outs but “Mandy” is a deeper performance. Yes, he screams like a lunatic. He damns the villains for ruining his favorite shirt. He glares and grins like a madman. He snorts coke and goes wild. Yet Cage’s shell-shocked silence points towards the seismic pain Red is feeling. His quest of revenge is as much a primal scream towards the injustices of the universe as an excuse for wacky action. Scenes of Cage blubbering and shrieking in his tightly-whities might be hilarious. They also point towards “Mandy” being a real movie about processing grief and the human mind’s inability to overcome loss.

At two hours and one minute long, “Mandy” feels like an acid trip in more ways than one. Despite a zig-zagging pace, the film is truly a cinematic experience, among the year’s more unique cult items. I have no doubt that the film’s reputation will only grow over the years, as more freaks are drawn towards its super-weird vision. What I really respect about the film, beyond its surreal humor, drugged out visuals, and daft combination of genre materials, is that a human heart beats beneath the surface. Cosmatos has already considered a sequel and next year’s Nic Cage cult movie is already lined up but “Mandy,” I think, will endure. [9/10]

Blood Feast (1963)

Herschell Gordon Lewis never intended to make horror history. He'd be the first to admit that he went into film-making more as a businessman than a creative individual trying to express something. He started out making nudie cuties – the softest of softcore pornography – because they were extremely cheap to produce and highly profitable. Along with producer David F. Friedman, he had a thought. If nudity sold so well, graphic bloodshed might as well. “Blood Feast” was shot in a week and probably written in a weekend, using local Miami landmarks and locations for the plot. It costs 24,500 dollars and grossed well over a million. It was also the first splatter film in horror history, signaling the changes the genre would undergo in the future before any other movie did.

A murderer is terrorizing Miami. He's sneaking into young women's home, butchering them with a machete, and leaving with a different body part each time. Detective Pete Thornton and the rest of the police force attempt to unravel the mystery but there are few leads. Meanwhile, Mrs. Fremont is planning her daughter Suzette's birthday party. She hires Mr. Fuad Ramses to cater the event. Ramses promises an event like no other, saying he'll serve a real Egyptian feast. Ramses is, of course, the killer. He's the last surviving member of a deranged cult that practices ritualistic cannibalism, in the name of the goddess Ishtar.

From any sort of objective stand point, “Blood Feast” is an atrocious film. From a technical perspective, it is an utterly incompetent production. Lewis' direction is amateurish. The camera's movements are awkward and stiff. Many of the shots are stationary. At least once, the camera is obviously bumped unintentionally. The acting is, at best, stagey. Mal Arnold mugs horrendously as Ramses and most everyone else just sleepwalks through their parts. The gore is not convincing. Animal brains, hearts, entrails, or tongues are awkwardly placed on top of or around the female victims, along with lots of fake blood. The musical score, largely composed of thumping drums, is monotonous. The pacing is wrecked. The movie's only an hour long but feels much longer.

From a narrative prospective, “Blood Feast” barely makes any sense. Fuad Ramses walks with a noticeable limp. Despite that, he's able to sneak up on people several times. Even more ridiculously, he manages to outrun the cops on several occasions. Ramses' end goal is difficult to discern, as he seemingly plans to ritually murder and cannibalize Suzette a few feet from her friends and families. Naturally, the killer's behavior is ridiculously weird and off-putting at every point. However, nobody seems to think he's acting strange until the very end. The detective hero puts the clues together through sheer chance. The bad guy is then disposed off due to a totally random act of fate. Naturally, the film's backstory is phooey, starting with Ishtar, a Babylonian goddess, being referred to as Egyptian.

Of course, none of these factors distract from “Blood Feast's” appeal. In fact, the movie's incompetence and incoherence is largely why people like it. The film is frequently hilarious, in-between its ridiculous acting, unconvincing gore, and brainless characters. This is an exploitation film, through and through, so Gordon throws in some sex appeal too. There's some brief nudity in the first scene, a rejection of the good taste and style “Psycho” showed in a similar situation. Later, there's some lingering shots of the girls in their bikinis. Sometimes, Gordon's artlessness accidentally becomes artful. Such as a foggy fantasy scene, depicting a priest of Ishtar sacrificing a girl. It feels like a weirdo home movie but there's an interesting grace and poise in that context.

“Blood Feast,” in fact, is probably best appreciated as outsider art. The film doesn't have the surreal dream logic of “Robot Monster” or the oddball humor of Ed Wood's movies. It's much, much cruder than even those films. However, Gordon's mercenary approach is interesting in its own right. Naturally, the movie's historical importance can not be overstated. Aside from a spiritual sequel, an actual sequel, and a remake, it was basically the first American gore movie ever made. There's no “Night of the Living Dead,” no “Texas Chain Saw Massacre,” no “Halloween” without “Blood Feast.” Just beyond its significance to genre history, “Blood Feast” is certainly, well something. [7/10]

The Goldbergs: Mister Knifey-Hands

Michael Myers isn't the only slasher icon to make a comeback this year. Freddy Krueger, portrayed once again by Robert Englund, made a slightly more low-key return. I have never seen a single episode of “The Goldbergs” before. The involvement of Patton Oswalt, as the “Wonder Years”-style narrator, has made me tempted to check out the show before. I've always thought the promos looked obnoxious. However, a cameo from the O.G. Freddy was enough to get me to watch this half-hour at least.

As I said, I have no prior experience with “The Goldbergs” but I'll recap the plot as best as I can. Adam Goldberg, the youngest child in the family, wants to rent “A Nightmare on Elm Street” and watch it with his girlfriend, Jackie. Adam's smothering mother, Beverly, doesn't want him to watch the movie, fearful it will give him nightmares. She turns out to be right and Adam is soon afraid to sleep, terrified he might meet Freddy. This creates a schism between Adam's parents and Jackie's. The B-plot involves older sister Erica and her relationship with teenager Geoff, who hasn't graduated high school yet. Somehow, the story bends from him wanting her to wear a stupid couple's costume to her hanging around the school again, pretending to be cool.

So this show is awful. The characters are as obnoxious as the commercials made them look. Beverly is especially offensive, using every opportunity to undermine and irritate her son. Adam is just as annoying, his exaggerated nerd voice being especially grating. This peaks during an argument between the two parents at a Halloween corn maze, where everyone reveals what spiteful and awful people they are. The B-lot is especially inane. Can you imagine how creepy this would be if it was a male high school grad dating a senior girl and hanging around her class? The boyfriend is just as annoying as all the other characters on the film. His word-play based couple costumes are exactly the kind of stupid bullshit I hate. Despite all the lip-service the show pays to its eighties setting, it feels extremely modern. In general, this is one of those shows that's cut as quickly as possible in order to fit a joke every two seconds. There's no heart, personality, or substance under the nonstop one-liners.

Having said all that, “Mister Knifey-Hands” is totally worth seeing for the Freddy segment. While regretting being such a terrible mother, Beverly has a Krueger dream. There's actually some decent atmosphere in the shot of Freddy chasing her through a foggy corn maze. Two sight gags here made me laugh, when the family photos above Beverly's bed are replaced with pictures of Freddy. Later, a closest full of his trademark sweaters spring to life. Englund is not as svelte as he used to be but can obviously still ham it up like a pro. Seeing Freddy trade quibs on a sitcom is a weird feeling but it also ends up being the sole redeeming quality of an otherwise tortuous half-hour of television. [4/10]

The Facts in the Case of Mister Hollow (2008)

Here's another short that the internet told me to watch and I checked out largely because the title was cool. As it started, I was surprised to see a familiar name in the credits. Rodrigo Gudino, long time editor of Rue Morgue Magazine, wrote and co-directed the film. “The Facts in the Case of Mister Hollow” has a novel idea. The short presents a static image: A photograph from the thirties of several people standing around a car, in front of a church. There's a man reaching into his coat, another trying to start a bonfire, a smiling man in sunglasses, and a woman holding a swaddled infant. The camera peers around the photo, going inside it, and revealing more and more disturbing details.

It's a really cool idea for a short film, one that strictly uses the visual elements of film to tell its story. It does bug me ever so slightly that the filmmakers cheat a little, changing the image to reveal more details from outside the frame of the photograph. Even then, the title is rather literal: These are the 'facts,' in the sense that what we are seeing is all we know. The details raises a lot of questions – the blood inside the car, the strange tattoos on everyone's wrists, the contents of the bonfire, the woman's expression – and fires the imagination. The simple musical score doesn't hammer any note too hard, allowing all the creepy possibilities to sink in naturally. “The Facts in the Case of Mister Hollow” is a really cool idea, executed in a mostly clever way, that is perfectly built for the short film format. You couldn't do this as anything but a short moving picture. [7/10]

Halloween 2018: October 25

It's been way too long since I've visited a Halloween haunt. I consider walking through a dark maze while people in masks shriek at you to be an essential October experience. However, I frequently have trouble convincing people to do this with me and, honestly, it's not the kind of activity you can do alone. Tonight, I was able to convince a female friend of mine to join me on a trip out to Hill High Farm, home to the Haunted Nightmares attraction. The guide sends you through in parties of four, so my friend and I were accompanied by a pair of flighty teen girls. Both squealed at every shock, which made the experience even more fun. I know I was suppose to be scared but couldn't help but laugh and smile the entire time. Highly recommended! 

Summer of 84 (2018)

One of my favorite podcasts is the Purple Stuff Podcast, a collaboration between Dinosaur Dracula and The Sexy Armpit. Among the many delightful episodes was the one devoted to favorite summer memories. In that episode, co-host Jay expands on two favorite memories of his. First, he talks about neighborhood wide games of Manhunt, where kids would trace and track each other through the suburbs. Secondly, he delivers a vivid memory of a time him and his friends were convinced their neighbor was trafficking drugs. I certainly hope Jay has heard of “Summer of 84,” the newest film from “Turbo Kid's” trio of directors, as it practically adapts both of these memories. I'll be totally honest, that similarity was a big reason why the film made it onto my list of most anticipated movies this year.

The small town of Cape May, Oregon seems idyllic. Davey Armstrong lives a fairly charmed existence, delivering papers during the day, lusting after the pretty girl next door, and spending time in a tree house with his best friends: Smart-ass Eats, big sensitive guy Woody, and nerd Farraday. But a darkness beats under the town's surface. Teenage boys have been disappearing from the general area for a decade. Soon, a serial killer called the Cape May Slayer announces himself to the papers and the police. While out playing manhunt with his friends, Davey swears he sees one of the missing boys in the home of Mackey, his next door neighbor. Mackey is a cop, and a respected one, making it difficult to take these accusations seriously. As he draws his friends into the mystery, the horrible truth becomes impossible to ignore.

“Summer of 84” is the latest entry in the wave of nostalgic kids-on-bikes adventure/horror movies, joining the superstar ranks of “IT” and “Stranger Things” (which I still haven't seen), as well as some weirder, darker examples like “Super Dark Times” and “Boys in the Trees.” The film hits many of the same expected beats. There's a(n excellent) synth score. References are made to established classics, such as “Return of the Jedi” and “Gremlins.” The film nails the look and feel of the Reagan decade. What really elevates the film above similar fair is how perfectly it captures the sense of childhood adventure. Davey is already a bit of a conspiracy theorist, his bedroom wall pasted with cut-outs from the Weekly World News. He wins his friends over largely because they are boys that love adventure and it's summer. They don't have much else to do. The film is set totally within that boyhood sense of mystery and adventure, where a run around town can become a grand adventure. It's almost whimsical at times, with the wish-fulfillment fantasy of the hot babysitter next door actually expressing some interest in Davey.

I think the reason I really loved “Summer of 84” is its cast of young heroes. As you'd expect, the cast is composed of relative newcomers. Only Judah Lewis, who previously starred in “The Babysitter” and “Demolition,” is recognizable. Each of the boys is fantastic. Graham Verchere as Davey is immediately likable, making an ideal hero, while sprinkling the part with some decent eccentricities. Caleb Emery has equal amounts of humor and heart as Woody, the guy who's the biggest but also the most vulnerable. Cory Gruter-Andrew doesn't take away from Farraday's essential nerdiness but adds a nice sarcastic edge. Lewis, as Eats, is both hilarious with his one-liners while also pointing at the character's inner anger and frustration, stemming from a troubled home life. It's also how satisfying how each character slots so perfectly into the Five Man Band concept, with the bubbly and bitterly funny Tiera Skovbye's Nikki filling the role of the token female.

Like all of these modern kids-on-bikes movies, “Summer of 84” gets a lot of mileage out of contrasting its youthful, inexperienced protagonists with the actual danger of their situation. There are many moments of sustained suspense throughout the film. The boys pretend to play Manhunt while actually staking out Mackey's home, a sequence that ends with an excellent shock. Woody and Farraday follow the suspected killer to a parking garage, they are nearly caught, a moment that escalates nicely. Yet the most suspenseful sequence occurs when Mackey, after seemingly being cleared of accusations, comes to Davey's doorstep. It's a drawn out moment, the audience unclear of where exactly things are headed.

It all builds towards a shocking ending. Without spoiling too much, Davey and Woody come face-to-face with the killer. After a thrilling chase scene, the pay-off is surprisingly blunt. From there, everything seemingly falls apart for our protagonists. In one montage, we see every victory denied him. This downbeat ending is not very satisfying but totally by design. It's the end of innocence, Davey stalked from now on by the spectre of death. In other words, the knowledge that he could die at any point. This downer conclusion also helps distinguish “Summer of 84” from similar movies, going for a more foreboding and melancholic feeling.

“Summer of 84” has received mixed reviews, being compared unfavorably to the many similar projects. It's also not as deliberately loopy as “Turbo Kid,” though it appeals to the same eighties aesthetic. However, I think “Summer of 84” is primed for future cultdom. It embraces the darkness lurking under the heart of suburbia more than even the movie actually about a killer clown. When combined with a frequently hilarious but no less thrilling script and a fantastic cast, it results in a movie that's right up my alley. [8/10]

Fear No Evil (1981)

“Fear No Evil” is another movie I first stumbled upon on the internet, during those early college years when I would watch just about anything if it was horrific and at least twenty years old. I went into the movie knowing absolutely nothing about it. I found the film weird and outrageous but also, apparently, unforgettable. In the years since, occasionally a moment or song from the movie would wander into my brain. I've been wanting to revisit it for years but just never got around to it. Well, hail Satan, because it's 2018 and I'm finally rewatching “Fear No Evil.” A passion project for Frank LaLoggia – who wrote, directed, produced, and composed the film – it would launch the director to a minor but interesting career.

“Fear No Evil's” script puts its own spin on Christian lore. In this film, when Lucifer was banished from Heaven, his spirit fell to Earth. There, he would be reincarnated throughout the ages, attempting to bring about an Earthly Hell. In retaliation, Yahweh sent three angels – Gabriel, Rafael, and Mikhail  - to be similarly reincarnated. In the sixties, the human form of Rafael murdered Satan's latest incarnation and was sent to prison for his efforts. The devil was immediately reborn as Andrew Williams. Throughout his youth, the boy drove his parents crazy. Now, Andrew is a teenager and getting ready to graduate high school. As he becomes more aware of his powers, the remaining angels attempt to hunt him down and prevent his apocalyptic destiny.

LaLoggia's film re-imagines Satan as a gay teenager. Andrew is shunned and misunderstood by everyone. His dad finds him off-putting, eventually driven mad by his son's inability to follow traditional roles. In school, he's picked on ruthlessly by Tony. At one point, while in the gym shower, the bully plants a kiss on Andrew. This drives both dudes into naked seizures. Tony, a classic case of toxic masculinity who slaps his girlfriend and picks fights all the time, obviously sees Andrew as a threat to his heterosexuality. When he realizes his demonic potential, Andrew turns Tony into a woman, prompting the boy to commit suicide. At the same time, Andrew slips into a revealing and glittery outfit, fulfilling his destiny as Queer Satan. (Rainbows also seem to be a reoccurring motif in his spells.) But what of the scenes where Julie, the teen girl who is the latest reincarnation of Gabriel, has sexual dreams about Andrew? It seems unlikely that LaLoggia was unaware of this subtext, as he cast the swish-y Stefan Arngrim as Andrew, so I can only assume this is another example of the devil disrupting the hetero-normative traditions.

Most of the movie is pulled between its plot of reborn angels and the devil's high school days. The religious mythos is a bit of a snore. Watching Mikhail, in the body of an elderly woman, try to convince Julie of her destiny drags the pacing down. The high school stuff is a lot more fun though. Despite featuring a uber-hip soundtrack, which plays like a greatest hits album of punk/post-punk luminaries, the school setting is strictly in the past. Tony is an illiterate greaser. His girlfriend heads a girl gang in shiny, gold jackets. The students spend more time smoking and making out than studying. The gym teacher is an insane lunatic, driven into a frenzy by dodge ball. It feels more like “Grease” than an accurate depiction of high school life in the early eighties. Which is perfect for the film's campy atmosphere.

As a horror movie, “Fear No Evil” similarly walks a line between silly and spooky. Some sequences are hilariously overwrought. Such as Andrew turning that dodge ball game deadly, while flashy evil reptilian eyes. Other times, LaLoggia successfully creates some eerie moments. An early scene, where the devil boy's shadow moves without him, is spooky. So is the scene where Andrew raises a fleet of zombies, which features a crucified horse skeleton slowly moving. Among the first evil deeds Andrew does is cause the star of the passion play to actually experience Christ's wounds. The sound design is decent, such as a scene where Andrew sits on a swing and unknowingly raises a storm. The finale is deeply silly, featuring its somewhat sympathetic villain shrieking in pimply demon make-up and lots of magical bolts of light. Those zombies are also pretty silly, shouting at their victims in low budget make-up. Still, there's no denying that this stuff is entertaining and even occasionally effective.

LaLoggia obviously had big ambitions for “Fear No Evil.” He packs his story full of multiple subplots. At one point, five events are happening simultaneously: Andrew's demonic ritual, a near-by passion play, the graduation party, his Dad's homicidal drinking spree, the heroes rushing to save the day. Maybe the script was just underwritten, as Andrew's acceptance of his Satanic fate is inconsistent. In some scenes, he seems to know everything about it already. In others, he struggles to understand what is happening. The cast is inconsistent too, full of broad or stiff performances, Arngrim among them. Despite these flaws, “Fear No Evil” is fascinating and a ton of fun. The director successfully put his on spin on the material, packed it full of crazy ideas, and then added a kick-ass soundtrack on top. Sounds just right for a late October horror marathon to me. [8/10]

The Adventures of Pete & Pete: Halloweenie

I remember watching “The Adventures of Pete & Pete” on Nickelodeon back in the day. I thought the show was alright but have been quite surprised to discover its passionate cult following in the years since. It seems this show is considered among the weirdest and smartest kids' shows. It's entirely possible I was too young to really appreciate the show as a youngster, whose taste was more attuned to “Legends of the Hidden Temple.” Its Halloween episode, “Halloweenie,” is regarded as a classic in certain circles. With only a few days until the big event, I decided to give this beloved series a try for the first time in years.

“The Adventures of Pete & Pete” is set in the excessively quirky small, suburban town of Wellsville. It follows two brothers, both named Pete, on their bizarre adventures. “Halloweenie” concerns the brothers' differing opinions about October 31st. Little Pete, played by Danny Tamberelli, adores Halloween. This year, he hopes to break the record for the most houses visited in a night of trick-or-treating. Big Pete, played by Michael C. Maronna, is pretty sick of the holiday though. The seasonal festivities are threatened by a group of vandals named the Pumpkin Eaters. The jack-o-lantern wearing hooligans have created such a reign of terror that the town officials are threatening to cancel trick-or-treating. After he smashes a pumpkin, the Pumpkin Eaters attempt to recruit Big Pete. Feeling bad about it, he decides to accompany his smaller brother on his adventure. At the same time, he fears being captured and humiliated by the gang of delinquents.

One thing I've read about this show is definitely true. “The Adventures of Pete & Pete” certainly doesn't feel like any other kids' show. The episode is narrated by Maronna. He frequently includes surreal touches, such as talking jack-o-lanterns appearing on people's shoulders like a devil or angel. The town's residents are pretty odd, making the show feel a bit like a kid-friendly take on “Twin Peaks” or “Picket Fences.” (If you need another example of the show's hipness, it features a cameo from Iggy Pop.) There's very little humor directly pitched at the kiddie lot in this episode, save for one pee joke or some broad slapstick. The Pumpkin Eaters are genuinely weird bad guys and the chaos they reap is fittingly surreal. The performances are more measured and deadpan than you'd expect from a Nick show. Even the style of direction, with its frequent cuts away to black-and-white scenes, feel more eccentric and sophisticated than you'd expect.

The silly confrontation with cartoonish villains and indie rock soundtrack are fun. What I really appreciate about “Halloweenie” is Little Pete's enthusiasm for the day. The boy's love of the holiday is characterized as religious awe, his observations of the rituals taken with deadly seriousness. See? This kid gets it! At the same time, his hatred of the day makes it difficult for me to like Big Pete here. Naturally, he gets over it and loves Halloween again by the end. I'm not saying I'm going to turn around and immediately watch every other episode of the show. However, “Halloweenie” was really a lot of fun. [7/10]

The Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water (1973)

Growing up as an American kid in the nineties, I experienced my share of disturbing PSAs and commercial. I'm taking about drug-dealers turning into snake-monsters or asphyxiating goldfish. However, it seems the U.K. really had a knack for cooking up well-intentioned but terrifying public service announcements. Several years before creating the hyper-violent “Apaches,” Britain's Central Office of Information produced “The Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water.”

The minute-and-a-half short depicts a hooded, Grim Reaper-like figure. The spirit represents every pool of stagnant or unattended water. And not just those found in swamps. Over the commercial's length, we see a boy playing on a muddy slop fall into a deceptively deep puddle. Next, a kid dangling off a weak tree branch crashes into a fetid river. Most chillingly of all, an unsuspecting swimmer is caught on a piece of underwater debris, kicking and screaming for help that doesn't seem to be coming. All the while, the hooded figure lurks in the background, watching like an ominous sentinel. Though a group of sensible and safe children banish the Spirit by the film's end, his echoing voice assures us that he will return.

The short is especially of interest to horror fans because the titular Spirit is voiced by Donald Pleasence. His intonations are casual and matter-of-fact, dripping with sinister intent, making the information he provides even more creepy. Watching as an adult, I found “The Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water” fairly unsettling. The direction is stark and spooky, the cutting making it seem like the foolish kids die the minute they hit the water. I can't imagine how frightening this would've been for a kid. If I was a youngster in the seventies, I sure as fuck wouldn't mess with any unsupervised body of water after seeing this. [7/10]