Director Report Card: Richard Donner (1995)

18. Assassins

Joel Silver has an eye for talent. In the eighties, he unleashed Shane Black onto the world. He paired with filmmakers like John McTiernan and John Millius, stars like Arnold and Mel. In the process, he created some of the most beloved, down and dirty action flicks of the eighties. As the nineties rolled on, Silver picked up another talented screenwriter. Or two, I should say. Before the Wachowskis created “The Matrix,” they sold the script for “Assassins.” Nearly directed by Mel Gibson, he passed the screenplay onto Richard Donner. Though the Wachowskis claim their script was entirely rewritten, many of their trademarks are still visible in the final product. Maybe the world wasn’t ready for the future in 1995. “Assassins” underperformed domestically and merely broke even overseas. Did the film deserve to fail?

Robert Rath kills for money. If you need someone to be dead, he’s the best man to call. Yet the years of bullets and death has taken its toll on him. Rath’s haunted by the faces of those he’s killed and is nearly ready to retire. His penultimate job puts him in conflict with Miguel Bain, another killer for hire. Unlike Rath, who is a composed professional, Bain is an unhinged psychopath. Both are hired to kill a female computer hacker. When faced with her, Rath has a change of heart. He teams up with the woman, both on the run from Bain’s mad gun, trying to discover the identity of Rath’s boss who now wants them all dead.

Here in the new millennium, it seems like every unambitious action film is about an assassin or hitman. 1995 was a year less obsessed with professional killers. Yet even back then, “Assassins'” central plot was a little old hat. Yes, this is a movie about a murderer for hire who has a change of heart. Robert Rath is old, worn out, and ready to retire. It seems like his soul is entirely calloused over when he meets Electra. The woman reignites his desire to live. United against a common enemy, they rush through one last adventure. By the conclusion, they have successfully buried their sordid old lives and our ready to build new ones. It wasn’t an unheard of story back then but plays out as incredibly old hat now.

To this well worn concept, the Wachowskis bring a new emphasis on then-current technology. Rath receives his targets over the internet. That is, on his clunky laptop computer via a dial-up connection. He contacts his employer through a simplistic chat interface, that was probably still too hi-tech for 1995. He uses the same computer to play electronic chess, a fairly strangled visual metaphor for Rath planning against his opponent. The same boss desires a floppy disc containing some pertinent information. We often see this disc shoved into a portable drive of some sort. There’s a lot of discussion about code, passwords, and encryptions. It’s nearly hokey from 2016’s perspective. Yet it’s not too difficult to see the Wachowskis leaping from the quasi-high-tech aspects of this story to the cyberpunk setting of “The Matrix.”

There is a downside to the movie’s focus on what’s new and exciting. The first act of “Assassins” borders on the incoherent. We see context lacking flashbacks, that won't mean anything for a little while longer. The movie then leaps ahead into its first action sequence, leaving little time for the audience to get its barrings. Julianne Moore’s character is introduced in an especially convoluted manner. What exactly her character is doing in the plot at first isn’t entirely clear. There’s some Dutch businessmen and some Interpol agents. Even if you pay close attention to the chat room communications between Rath and his boss, it’s possible to get lost during “Assassins” first act.

The part of Robert Rath was offered to a number of established action stars. Sean Connery, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and, uh, Michael Douglas all passed on the role. When Sylvester Stallone starred in “Assassins,” it was during his nineties low period, when the star was trying out different characters and failing to find many hits. As Robert Rath, Stallone is at his most mumbly. During a terse conversation in a taxi cab, you can barely understand anything he says. In the first half, when Rath is strictly a graveled old killer, Stallone’s performance seems bored, irritated, and one note. Eventually, he comes out of his shell some, showing a quiet humor. Still, it’s not one of Sly’s more memorable performances.

Luckily, Antonio Banderas picks up the slack. Post-“Desperado,” Banderas already had some action movie cred of his own. In “Assassins,” he goes gleefully over the top. Miguel Bain is completely unhinged. While Stallone drives a cab, he launches into a frenzied speech, describing the pleasure he takes in his profession. He punctuates the conversation by shooting the glass, mostly for the hell of it. Banderas makes pithy comments to fruit, grins, sweats, cackles, and swears. He acts up a storm, Antonio really enjoying a chance to play a nutty bad guy. Considering how muted Sly can be, Banderas’ mad villain often keeps “Assassins” entertaining. It was a performance so deranged that it even spawned an internet meme.

The third central character is Julianne Moore’s Electra. Despite Brian Helgeland’s total rewrite, I can’t help but think Moore’s character features the most Wachowski thumbprints. Aside from being a computer hacker, a hobby she shares with Neo, Electra has a number of quirks. She deeply loves her pet cat, carrying the animal everywhere she goes. She’s wired her apartment complex with cameras, spying on her neighbors. This isn’t for any malicious reason. Instead, Electra watches her neighbors’ lives like it’s a reality show. Moore is able to define her character beyond these eccentric attributes. She brings a pep and energy to the part, enlivening “Assassins’” during its more routine scenes.

Honestly, the best part of “Assassins” has nothing to do with sniper rifles or explosions. Instead, the relationship between Sylvester Stallone’s Rath and Julianne Moore’s Electra proves unusually compelling. The film seems to play this as a romantic relationship. The two share a kiss and, at the end, walk off hand in hand. However, it works better for me as an unexpected friendship. Sly plays with the pet cat, who happily climbs into his lap. She tries to shoot him but he successfully disarms the tension. After making a close getaway, the two share a laugh. Before long, Rath is criticizing Electra's taste in music. The actors don’t share much in the way of romantic chemistry. Yet they do seem to be having fun together.

Don’t think “Assassins” lacks action though. The earliest action beat is a shoot-out in a cemetery, which features Stallone hiding a hand gun in a sling on his arm. After picking up Banderas in his cab, “Assassins” hits its first really cool action beat. Bain dangles out the window while Rath drives the car into the side of the bus, trying to throw the villain out. Aside from some slightly shaky direction, it’s a neat moment. Inevitably, the two assassins meet again as enemies. While inside Electra's apartment, a shoot-out ensues. Mirrors are cleverly utilized during this scene and there’s some neat diving and firing. The shoot-out concludes with a big explosion, Banderas tossed out the window while hiding behind a table. Even a relatively simple sequence of Sly bailing out of a monorail, walking across and climbing down the platform, features some neat, action-heavy imagery.

Surprisingly, the most suspenseful action scene features comparatively little gunfire. During the last act, Stallone enters a bank. He knows Banderas is waiting in the bell tower across the street, a sniper rifle aimed at the door. He knows this because he pulled the same trick decades before. Instead of giving the bad guy what he wants, he waits him out. Stallone sits inside the air conditioned bank, happily biding his time, Moore talking to him through a hidden microphone. Antonio, meanwhile, swelters in the heat outside, pissing in a bottle, and frantically aiming his gun every time someone walks through the door. This sequence is a lot funnier and more suspenseful then the eventual final confrontation between Rath and Bain. Even that features a cool gag, of Banderas falling through several platforms through the dilapidated tower.

As a Richard Donner movie, “Assassins” isn’t that distinct visually from the rest of the director’s nineties output. His by-now trademark of slow motion photography is utilized a few times, such as when Banderas is launched out the window. Another unusual aspect of “Assassins” is the number of not-so-subtle political stickers Donner slaps in the background. While Sly and Banderas shoot at each other, anti-NRA logos are visible on a bus. While Moore tells jokes to the waiting hero, a waitress is seen wearing a “Pro-Choice” t-shirt. Is there any deeper purpose to these choices? Or did Donner just think it was funny to fill a gunfire heavy action flick with anti-firearm and other politically progressive iconography?

“Assassins” opened at number two at the box office, coming and going from theaters without much attention. I think this has less to do with the movie’s quality and more to do with the public’s general indifference to Sylvester Stallone at the time. While hardly a cult favorite, some action fans have suggested that “Assassins” deserves a second look. Which is true. The script has some bumps and Stallone doesn’t seem very interested. Yet when focused on the villain or the love interest, “Assassins” does alright for itself. The Wachowskis would go on to bigger and better things but “Assassins” is worth a watch. [Grade: B-]

Director Report Card: Richard Donner (1994)

17. Maverick

This might be hard to believe now but, once upon a time, Mel Gibson was one of the biggest stars in the world. Many years before that, another fact that may seem difficult to believe now, westerns were the most popular genre on television. “Maverick,” a Western series that ran from 1957 to 1962, starred James Garner as a rascally card player. It was noted for being a more subversive, comedic take on the genre. For whatever reason, in 1994, Mel Gibson, Richard Donner, and screenwriter William Goldman combined to turn “Maverick” into a movie. Despite the western being an increasingly noncommercial genre in the nineties, Mel’s star power and the general affability of the final film were enough to turn “Maverick” into another hit for everyone involved.

Bret Maverick – card shark, conman, rascal, and occasional reluctant gunfighter – ambles through the Wild West. He’s on his way to a major poker tournament in New Orleans, hoping to prove himself the greatest card player of all time. But he’s a few thousand dollars short. Along the way, he meets Annabelle, a card player and con artist in her own right, and Zane Cooper, a Federal Marshall. Before they even make it to the poker game, all three will have unexpected encounters, all the while trying to figure out the others’ alliances.

Befitting an adaptation of an old TV show, “Maverick” has an appropriately episodic storyline. The main motivating factor is the river boat bound poker tournament, the ultimate destination of the primary characters. But “Maverick” doesn’t arrive there until the last forty minutes. Before that, Bret and his companions wander into a few unrelated adventures. There’s poker games escalating to bar fights, runaway carriage rides, and a mission of women who claim Indians have stolen their money. Usually, such a disconnected, off-balance screenplay would be a weakness. “Maverick” makes it work. The film is like a rambling, funny story told by an old friend, eventually circling back to the main point but making room for some amusing anecdotes along the way.

The original “Maverick’s” five year run, or even the brief 1981 revival also starring James Garner, were quite a ways off in 1994. Despite that, it’s easy to see why Bret Maverick was such a memorable, lovable character. Maverick isn’t the traditional Western white hat, in the old TV show or this movie. He’s reluctant to participate in violence, preferring poker to gun fights. When fisticuffs do arise, he’s remarkably good at thinking his way out of it. In an early scene, he impresses some combative card players by beating four men in a fist fight. Later, we discover that these guys were paid by Maverick to take tumbles in the fight. He’s often out thinking his adversaries but in a way that suggests he’s also making a lot of shit up.

Bret Maverick is a character also perfectly suited to Mel Gibson’s charms. The character is introduced on the back of a horse, with a nose around his neck. In voice over, he wryly states that he’s been having a shitty week. Though Gibson excels at playing traumatized heroes, the later “Lethal Weapon” sequels proved that easy-going and quirky Mel is the best version. “Maverick” happily provides us with another oppretunity to enjoy funny, rascally Mel. The character’s roguish attributes allow Mel to display some of that eccentric humor. He’s consistently hilarious and incredibly charming throughout, helping along “Maverick’s” easy going pace.

When you think of early nineties sex symbols, Jodie Foster is probably not the first person that comes to mind. Yet “Maverick” successfully cast her as a woman who uses her beauty and feminine charm to out think the men around her. This usually manifests as her swiping wallets while getting in close for some smooches. An especially amusing moment has Foster’s Annabelle pulling Mel’s Maverick into bed when returning to the poker table is an important matter. Foster has a mischievous glint in her smile, which takes the character a long way. And just to make sure the script doesn’t make her too wily for her own good, Annabelle is also given a clumsy streak.

As I said, “Maverick’s” willingness to ramble on and hang out is actually one of its strengths. My favorite sequence in the movie occurs about halfway through. After retrieving the mission’s stolen money, a group of Indians appear on the scene. They’re completely harmless but Maverick, the only white man there who speaks their language, instructs them to act threatening. The simple gag of subtitles showing the banal, friendly dialogue, while Mel relays violent threats to the frightening crowd, is a surprisingly sturdy gag. The Indians speaks English and are totally civil. However, a rich Russian duke is paying them to act like the pop culture conception of savages. This include saying “How!” and playing war drums all day. This is the best example of how “Maverick” subverts and plays with the expected rules of the western. Graham Greene, as Bret’s Indian friend, is also hilarious and has some great chemistry with Mel.

Casting James Garner in the cinematic version of his second most beloved TV character might seem like a gimmick at first. However, Garner is actually acting as Bret Maverick’s foil throughout the film. Playing Marshall Zane Cooper, he often responds to Bret’s antics with incredulous disbelief. He takes Foster’s character at face value, not realizing she’s a con artist too. In many ways, Garner is playing the traditional western hero that Maverick was created to subvert. At least, until the reveal in the last act… Garner gets a lot of dry humor out of the part, utilizing his scratchy voice and rugged charm extremely well.

Alfred Molina returns to a Richard Donner movie for the first time since “Ladyhawke.” He plays a not-too-dissimilar role. Angel takes poker way too seriously. He’s a twitchy-eyed nut, prone to launching into violent rages from the smallest provocations. The way Gibson’s laid back sense of humor triggers Molina’s anger also provides plenty of amusement. Molina has fun in the part, once again making the most of playing an unhinged bad guy.

It would be a stretch to call “Maverick” an action movie. However, the film still features some fun and thrilling set pieces. When traveling across the western desert in a carriage, Maverick wakes up to see that the driver has unexpectedly died. Heading towards a gorge – of course, there’s a gorge – Bret has to stop the cart. He leaps from around the moving horses, dangles from the undercarriage, nearly collides with the spinning axles, and ends the scene hanging off the gorge’s edge. It’s a well orchestrated sequence, a solid as any of the action beats in the “Lethal Weapon” franchise. The other quick flashes of action, like the quick-draw shoot-out at the end, are well done, if not as memorable as the carriage scene.

Once the gang arrives at the river boat, “Maverick” develops into a damn fine gambling flick. It takes a talented director to get tension out actors shadily glancing at each other or reading their handful of cards. The film does a surprisingly good job of balancing humor and some alright tension during this finale. During the climatic moment, Maverick slowly lays his cards down, revealing his winning hand one by one. This also pays off on Bret’s wished-for magical abilities referenced earlier in the film. The last act also brings James Coburn in for a great role, as the organizer of the event.

Like any con movie worth its salt, “Maverick” doesn’t quite end there. Instead, the film happily tacks on a fourth act, where everybody double crosses everybody else and reveals their true intentions. Garner is less heroic then he appears. Coburn wasn’t interested in playing fairly in the poker game. Jodie Foster rips everybody off. My favorite twist is the one that reveals “Maverick” isn’t an adaptation of the old TV show. It’s a sequel. Garner is reprising his original role. Mel is playing Bret Maverick the Second. It’s a genuinely unexpected turn, catching the audience off-guard in the best way. A lot of con artist movies collapse under the wait of the expected, last act twists. “Maverick” is too light-hearted and fun for that, breezing through the twists and turns with ease.

Furthering the fun, “Maverick” is full of cameos and in-jokes. Former Donner collaborators, like Corey Feldman, Margot Kidder, and Danny Glover, stop by. Glover’s brief scene is especially amusing. Multiple country and western singers, such as Clint Black and Reba MacEntire, also appear briefly. “Maverick” is a low stakes affair, more preoccupied with getting grins out of the audience then anything else. Which doesn’t mean it’s not fantastically acted and directed. In truth, creating a comedy this consistently charming and amusing is probably a lot harder then it looks. The clever script and talented cast is up to the challenge. “Maverick” is a great Sunday afternoon watch, a movie that entertains me more and more every time I see it. [Grade: B+]

Director Report Card: Richard Donner (1992) Part 3

16. Lethal Weapon 3

“Lethal Weapon” was an iconic hit and one of the defining movies of the eighties. “Lethal Weapon 2” was the third highest grossing movie of 1989, during a huge summer that included “Batman” and “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.” “Lethal Weapon” was a gold mine franchise now and had to continue. A third Murtaugh and Riggs adventure rolled out in 1992, going on to become the biggest grossing entry in the series. It was exactly the kind of surefire hit Richard Donner needed after “Radio Flyer’s” box office failure. But at this point, the critics and audiences were less unanimous on the film’s quality. 

Three years after the last movie, Murtaugh is now a week away from retirement. While interrupting an armored truck robbery, the duo discovers that armor-piercing rounds - cop killer bullets - are now circulating on the streets. The bullets are traced back to Jack Travis, a former cop himself who is now specializing in selling illegal arms and using his construction company as a cover. Teaming up with Riggs’ new love interest and a returning Leo Getz, the gang goes about avenging the death of friends and stopping the villain.

“Lethal Weapon 2” added more gravitas to the action movie formula by incorporating the real world issue of Apartheid. Realizing that worked last time, “Lethal Weapon 3” throws in three real world issues. First is the issue of police corruption. The bad guy is a former cop himself and uses his police privileges to help facilitate his criminal empire. The second issue is the issue of armor piercing bullets and especially their available among the public. This was a hot button topic in the early nineties and provides the main MacGuffin of the plot. However, the biggest real world issue the film tackles is young people being caught in the crossfire. I was a kid in the nineties. I remember the PSAs about gangs, street crime and gun safety. More then once, “Lethal Weapon 3” makes references to “killing babies.” The villain isn’t just a bad guy because he’s selling bullets that can more easily kill cops. He’s a bad guy because his guns are killing kids.

The movie’s stabs at real world relevance feels especially forced-in at times. Not because action movies shouldn’t tackle ideas like this but because “Lethal Weapon 3” is the goofiest of the series thus far. Firstly, Leo Getz is back with an even bigger role. He acts more like your typical Joe Pesci character this time, going on more then one profane tirade. Getz was decently well used in part two but definitely takes up too much screen time. Watching him squirm on the hockey rink or deal with the aftermath of a proctology exam aren’t not exactly welcomed additions. (The character was apparently a last minute addition to the script, which is obvious.) There are other goofy, broad gags. Murtaugh attracts the attention of a portly female officer, an affection he doesn’t return and actively scorns. Riggs, meanwhile, does things like accidentally interrupt a movie shoot. The humor in this series has never been exactly cutting edge but this stuff seems awfully silly.

But the movie is still funny, at times. The opening skit has the two guys accidentally setting off a bomb they were sent to deactivate. As ridiculous at it is, this provides a decent chuckle or two. A reoccurring gag throughout the movie has Riggs attempting to quit smoking. He substitutes his cigarettes with dog biscuits. This pays off in a sequence where he befriends a vicious guard dog with the same biscuits, the dog following him home and becoming a pet. And if nothing else, the banter between Mel Gibson and Danny Glover remains strong. That counts a lot.

The eighties were over and with them the eighties style of ridiculous, hyper-campy, overly macho action movie were slowly going out of vogue. But in 1992, “Lethal Weapon 3” was keeping the gay subtext alive. Riggs and Murtaugh’s bro-mance remains epic. After shooting a perp the same age as his son, Murtaugh has a miniature breakdown, getting drunk on his boat. It’s not his wife that goes to solace him, it’s Riggs. The conversation escalates into a lover’s spat that concludes with Murtaugh admitting he loves Riggs. When Riggs says he’s attracted to a woman, Murtaugh punches him overboard. (Ostensibly, Murtaugh punches him because he thinks his best friend is sleeping with his daughter. But we all know the truth.) Before the movie is over, Danny Glover is even on his knees before Mel, holding a bouquet of flowers. “Lethal Weapon 3” reestablishes that the only thing these guy love more then stopping crime is each other.

Despite the two guys obviously only having eyes for each other, the movie invents yet another love interest for Gibson. Rene Russo co-stars as Lorna Cole, an internal affairs officer that becomes involved in the case. At first, the two share some belligerent sexual tension, reluctant to admit their mutual attraction. It takes an evening of stripping down and showing off their battle scars for them to admit they like one another. From that point on, Riggs’ main element of character development is his anxiety over dating a fellow officer. Soon, the two are trading cutesy nicknames. The movie ends with them declaring their love for one another. Gibson and Russo have alright romantic chemistry, better then Mel had with any of his previous love interests.

That’s not the problem. The problem is Russo herself. Lorna is set up as tough as her boyfriend. Before the scene where they compare battle scars, she performs a judo flip on Riggs, dropping him on his ass. Russo remains an active member in the action sequences, rushing around and blasting bad guys along with the heroes. This itself is not an issue. The problem begins when the movie starts to push it too far. The extended sequence where Riggs and Murtaugh stand back and watch while Lorna beats up potential leads in a mechanics shop goes on too long and stops the pace dead. It feels less like natural screenwriting and more like the film forcing in some self-indulgent “girl power.” It’s awkward, is what I’m saying.

Another determent towards “Lethal Weapon 3” is its villain. Part one had a psychotic Gary Busey. Part two had a pair of creepy, fascist South Africans. Part three has… A dude in a suit with a mustache. He’s not a physical threat to any of the heroes. Jack Travis is played by Stuart Wilson, an unassuming looking actor. The movie could have used this in the film’s favor. Travis could have been the kind of villain that people purposely underestimate. Instead, the film plays him up as a tough guy gangster who executes snitches and buries traitors in concrete. The character seems like less of an evil mastermind and more like a mean-spirited accountant. He even willfully exposes himself to the cops at one point. He has little cunning, his master plan is not especially brilliant, and he’s not very threatening. Jack Travis is a failure of a movie bad guy.

Travis does provide one worthy contribution to the film: An oppretunity for Danny Glover to go nuts! In no doubt an intentional move, the movie has the more reasonable partner loosing his cool. Murtaugh yanks would-be thugs out of bed and points a machine gun in their face. He holds a guy’s head near the spinning wheels of a revving vehicle. The entire time, Danny Glover’s face is caked with sweat. He gets in people’s faces and screams profanity at them. After two movies of Glover being the more reserved half of this partnership, it is sort of fun to watch him cut loose and act a little crazy for once.

For its many flaws, “Lethal Weapon 3” is still a solid action flick. The cops bust up an armored truck theft just as the vehicle peels out of there, leaving Gibson fighting in the cab of the truck and tossing the driver through a window. A shootout in a subway is dynamic enough, with some fun duel wielding and enough running, gunning, and leaping to make it fun. A freeway chase has Mel diving under a semi-truck and diving off an incomplete bridge, which features a call-back to the dislocated shoulder from the last movie.

The action highlight comes during the finale. The heroes corner Travis at his building project in the desert. It quickly goes up in flames, so now the good guys are fighting among burning buildings. Everyone gets some good shots in. My favorite of which is Murtaugh tossing a claw hammer into someone’s chest. Further proof of how ineffectual a villain Travis is appears during the climax. His Hail Mary move is not a close-quarters fight to the death or a sneaking up and shooting someone. Instead, he jumps in a bulldozer. Woo. Overall though, the fiery climax is probably one of my favorite things in “Lethal Weapon 3.”

It’s not a bad movie. There’s still some blood left in this stone. However, part three is not the most inspired entry in the franchise. Gibson and Glover’s chemistry remains strong and the action’s not bad. But the bad guy is lame, the tone is inconsistent, the humor is not as strong, and some of the new additions to the cast are questionable. What we’re left with is the most uneven “Lethal Weapon” movie yet, one that isn’t terrible but doesn’t match up to either of the previous films. [Grade: C+]

Bangers n' Mash 90: The Omen Pentalogy

Man, I had originally hoped to get this episode out on the 6th! You know, then it would've been released on 06/06/16. Then if figured I could've made the 16, which still would've fit. Almost made that one but then some last minute shit came up. Oh well.

Anyway, did you really expect me to watch and review all of the "The Omen" movies and not get a podcast episode out of it? I'm a big fan of that first one, as you probably already know, while JD just kind of sits back and lets me ramble. Normal episode, in other words.



Anyway, the Richard Donner Director Report Card will continue tomorrow/today. I'm going to wash these dishes and go to bed. Thank you and goodnight.

Director Report Card: Richard Donner (1992) Part 2

15. Radio Flyer

As I previously observed, Richard Donner seem to fall into a pattern in the late eighties and nineties, alternating between comedies and action movies. “Ladyhawke” beget “The Goonies.” “Lethal Weapon” was followed by “Scrooged.” If you disregard “Two-Fisted Tales” as a side project, “Lethal Weapon 2” was followed by “Radio Flyer.” It would be incorrect to call the film a straight-up comedy but “Radio Flyer” is a more low-key Richard Donner joint, a drama rift with childhood nostalgia and elements of magic realism. Donner almost didn’t direct it. David M. Evans’ screenplay ignited a bidding war among studios and, despite his inexperience as a director, Evans was chosen to direct his own script. After several weeks of filming, Evans’ work was considered inadequate. Production halted and was restarted with Donner at the helm and a totally new cast. This inflated the budget, which made the movie’s four million dollar box office gross even more disappointing. Yet time has been kind to “Radio Flyer” which is now regarded as a minor classic of early nineties cinema.

As his two sons have an argument over a model airplane, Mike stops them. He tells the boys a tale about his childhood with his younger brother Bobby. After a trip across country, the boys, their mother, and their German shepherd move into a suburban community. Mike watches out for Bobby, a perpetual outsider prone to flights of fancy. This becomes especially true after mom remarries. The step-father, who likes to be called the King, is an alcoholic and beats Bobby, which the brothers keep secret. Until the abuse becomes so bad, it can’t be ignored. At that point, the brothers plot an escape for Bobby, transforming their Radio Flyer wagon into an airplane.

It’s tempting to compare “The Goonies” and “Radio Flyer,” as both films concern children protagonist and a child-like sense of whimsy. But the comparison falls apart beyond that. For “Radio Flyer” is a melancholic film about nostalgia, about an adult relating his traumatic childhood through a hopeful, retroactive lens. It’s also about the value of fantasy, as a coping tool with the serious and minor ordeals of reality. It’s about the secret world children inhabit, apart from adults. Mark’s narration references the Seven Secret Rules only children understand, that are put aside in puberty and completely forgotten by adulthood. It’s about hope in a hopeless situation, bolstered by brotherly love and shared daydreams. Some critics considered the films contrast between childish flights of fancy and the real life issue of abuse in bad taste. Yet “Radio Flyer” directly concerns itself with how young children survive and process such abuse.

Mostly, it’s about the brothers. Elijah Wood plays Mike and Joseph Mazzello plays Bobby. Despite his young age, Wood already had six prior acting roles to his name. As Mike, he shows talent, depth, and understanding far beyond his years. After their father leave them, Mike considers himself the man of the house, that Bobby is his responsibility. Wood’s crystal blues eyes projects an unexpected wisdom. A moment when he prevents the mother from discovering Bobby’s bruises is especially powerful. The strength of Wood’s performance grows as “Radio Flyer” evolves as a story. Joseph Mazzello is also excellent as Bobby, managing to convey secret thoughts and hidden emotions through a brave face. The bond between the brothers is the emotional heart of the entire movie. If it wasn’t for both young actor’s performances, “Radio Flyer” might not have worked at all.

Of course, the brothers aren’t entirely alone. They have their pets. Their German Shepherd Shane accompanies them most everywhere. Shane’s soulful yellow eyes are often focused on, as the dog whines or makes little doggy noises. The boys literally believe he can talk. A really cute early scene has the dog getting playfully pushed out of the family car after farting, a moment any dog owner can relate too. Shane is protective of the boys, fighting off bullies and the step-father on several occasions. The boys love Shane dearly, as he shows the kind of faithfulness that only a dog is capable of. The movie loves Shane too. It loves him so much that it doesn’t have the heart to kill the dog off, even when it probably would’ve made sense to do so. The boys have another pet too. When moving into the new home, they find a tortoise with a chain poked through his shell. They name him Samson, for being strong enough to break the chain. The quiet respect and playfulness of a turtle is also seen in little Samson, a minor but lovably part of the film.

The boys spend most of their days away from home, out of school and hoping to avoid their step-father. Together, they build a world, full of secrets, stories, and turn-of-phrases that only they understand. The most prominent aspect of their world is the Wishing Place. A extending peak over a picturesque forest, the two boys make silent wishes atop the hill. They say they're high enough that God can hear them, which seems true sometimes. As young boys, they get up to some wild adventures. They cook a “monster juice” with repugnant ingredients in Mom’s pressure cooker which has a disastrous pay-off. Their encounters with local bullies usually end with the kids getting scared off by Shane. They go on adventures through tunnels and wooded paths. They make money by collecting golf balls or empty glass bottles. The film accurately captures the childhood ability to turn nothing into something great.

Due to pitching “Radio Flyers” directly from the eyes of the kids, the film also goes on visual flights of fancy, an element of magic realism being inserted into the story. When the boys get deeply invested in their stories or adventures, they tend to imagine wild events. The film handles this well, fantastic events appearing in quick flashes. When first opening the back shed, and meeting Samson the Turtle, both boys are startled, seeing a giant turtle leaping out of the room. After messing with a Quija board, Mike asks a question about Bigfoot. The boys imagine seeing Bigfoot at their window, a shock they quickly reel back from. The famous cryptid appearing seems perfectly reasonable to the boys. They imagine monsters under beds and in closest. These are cute sequences, showing how children inhabit a world halfway between reality and dreams.

The most extended sequence of magic realism in “Radio Flyers” is a dream Mike has. After Bobby awakes from a nightmare about the step-father, Mike dreams that the clubhouse transforms into a giant buffalo. The buffalo, moisture leaking from his eyes, steps to the window and talks, asking Mike what he can do to protect Bobby. What does the buffalo mean? While traveling through the mid-west, the boys’ mom stopped at a roadside attraction. There, they meet a single buffalo, which they believe to be the last buffalo in the world. The buffalo represents Bobby. He’s alone, an outsider. Even Mike doesn’t always understand his brother’s odd behaviors, the far away look in his eyes when they discuss flying. Mike is bullied by both the step-father and other kids. Like the buffalo, he’s one of a kind, apart from the world, always alone, even with friends.

“Radio Flyer’s” financial failure can probably be blamed upon the advertising. The trailers sold the story as a kid-friendly family adventure. And it is, in a way. But that ignores “Radio Flyer’s” serious, sometimes frank treatment of child abuse. The first time the King hits Bobby, it’s a quick motion, a sudden action that shocks both boys. The rest of the abuse happens off-screen, Mike and the audience only seeing the bruises and marks on Bobby’s body. It’s blunt enough, making it clear how horrible the abuse is without becoming exploitative. The King is played by Adam Baldwin, who reportedly hated the part. We never clearly see his face, which is always shadowed or shown from obscuring angles. This emphasizes the step-dad’s monstrous qualities to the boys, how he never seems relatable to them.

Another important part of the film is the boy’s mother. “Radio Flyer” is careful not to ever blame the mother for the abuse that happens. She works a lot, she has to, in order to support the household. The boys intentionally keep the abuse a secret, because she seems so happy with the King. When she becomes aware of the violence, she kicks her husband out… And later accepts him back. Because he promises to change, because she loves him. But he doesn’t change, as is so often the case. It’s a hard line to tow but “Radio Flyer” is successful in not limiting or incriminating the mother. Lorraine Bracco’s performance is charming, sensitive, and thoughtful.

No aspect of “Radio Flyer” is more heavily debated then its ending. After Shane is nearly killed by the King, the brothers make the decision to put their plan in action. Inspired by a local urban legend of a boy who survived riding his bike over a cliff, the boys have turned their Radio Flyer wagon into a crude aircraft. Mike is going to fly away and Bobby is going to stay. After nearly being attacked by the drunken step-father, Mike successfully flies the machine over the cliff and goes on adventures around the globe, sending his brother and mother back post-cards. Richard Donner has insisted that the ending is meant to be taken literally. Yet adult Mike’s narration clarifies that this is how he remembers events. The dream-like finale doesn’t represent reality. Instead, Mike has written a happier ending for his brother’s life. Whether Bobby crashed the wagon over the cliff or was murdered by the stepfather isn’t important. He might not even have died, instead choosing to run away from home. Either way, he’s gone. But Mike’s stories, and the fake post-cards he almost assuredly writes, keeps the spirit of his brother’s dreams alive.

“Radio Flyer” is a tear-jerker but never crosses over into maudlin… Most of the time. Donner’s direction occasionally steps into the realm of overwrought. When the boys are running back home, calling for their dog, the movie lurches into slow motion for some reason. Donner’s direction throughout is usually even handed which makes this odd moment even more off-putting. Hans Zimmer’s score isn’t a bad listen. His use of airy whistles is a nice addition to the soundtrack. However, the score often ladles the emotion on a little too thick, with repetitive strings and Zimmer’s trademark of random percussion. When a moment is supposed to be hopeful or touching, Zimmer’s score is sure to emphasize that.

Though flawed, “Radio Flyer” is a surprisingly touching and nuanced drama about childhood fantasy as an escape from harsh reality. Most negative reviews tend to stem from people not expecting the movie’s darker element or those thinking the film’s handling of its subject matter is irresponsible. Which seems to ignore that children don’t always process trauma in a logical, clear headed way. For those that appreciate “Radio Flyer’s” keen mixture of childish fantasy and painful truth, the film has become the very definition of a hidden gem, an overlooked picture that is better then its unresponsive reception implies. [Grade: A-]

Director Report Card: Richard Donner (1992) Part 1

14. Two-Fisted Tales

In 1989, Richard Donner would team with Joel Silver, Robert Zemeckis, Walter Hill, and others to launch “Tales from the Crypt.” The moralistic, gory, controversial and influential horror stories from EC Comics inspired Donner and his cohorts to make movies. They returned the favor by producing a series that adapted many of the EC Comics horror stories to television. By airing on premium cable, “Tales from the Crypt” could get away with levels of sex and violence then unseen on broadcast TV. This graphic content, along with the campy host segments featuring an animatronic Crypt Keeper, made “Tales” a pop culture phenomena in the early nineties. I’m a fan, obviously. The success of “Tales” prompted Donner, Zemeckis and the rest to try and launch a spin-off series.

While “Tales from the Crypt” pulled its inspiration from EC’s horror comics, “Two-Fisted Tales” looked towards EC’s war and adventure comics for stories. Though the lurid content of “Vault of Horror” or “Haunt of Fear” is far more infamous, the company’s action tales were no less hard-hitting and bloody. Despite riding the coattails of a popular show, “Two-Fisted Tales” never went to series. Originally airing on Fox as a TV movie, “Two-Fisted Tales” wasn’t popular enough to spawn an on-going anthology. Eventually, the three segments would be recycled as episodes of “Tales from the Crypt.” Despite the series often featuring crime or thriller stories, the “Two-Fisted Tales” segments still seemed highly out of place on that show. In the same spirit, forgive me if I reuse my “Tales from the Crypt” reviews for this Report Card.

An EC Comics series wouldn’t be the same without a host. “Two-Fisted Tales” is hosted by Mr. Rush. Played by William Sadler, Rush is a wheelchair bound ex-soldier or cowboy of some sort. Unlike the Crypt Keeper, Mr. Rush doesn’t regale the audience with lame puns or goofy sight gags. Instead, he berates the viewers like a drill sergeant, warning us that we aren’t man enough to handle these manly stories. While Sadler happily goes over the top in the most extreme way possible, Mr. Rush’s abusive speeches do not endear themselves to the audience. If there’s any reason I can point to for why “Two-Fisted Tales” didn’t go to series, it’s because of Mr. Rush’s confrontational, abrasive antics. They couldn’t have had Sadler just play the Reaper instead?

“Two-Fisted Tales” begins with “Showdown,” Richard Donner’s stab at the weird west subgenre. As oppose to the other segments, this story’s supernatural elements made it an okay fit for “Tales from the Crypt.” A western gunslinger comes into town, shooting down another would-be challenger in the dust. Upon sitting in a saloon, he notices it is populated with his many victims, all returned from the grave. As the story progressed, the gunslinger realizes he’s dead too. He’s a ghost, haunting the old building which has, in the modern age, become a tourist attraction.

“Showdown” is moody and low-key. The camera lingers on the dusty setting, creating an atmosphere of sun-baked regrets. Michael Kamen’s score is full of mournful cords, discordant brass, and wailing wind sounds. Richard Donner frequently employs slow-motion flashbacks, often emphasizing the acts of violence. Which isn’t to say the segment is lacking in that EC Comics flair. The confrontation between the shooter and his victims features ghouls pointing out their wounds and taking delight in tormenting their killer. The climatic shoot-out that follows is dramatically directed. Neil Giuntoli gives a solid performance as Billy Quintaine, a gunslinger that has to come to grips with his troubled life, even if his tortured screams are a little overwrought.

My favorite part of “Showdown” is when the setting leaps into the future. We see the gunslinger observe his modern day legacy as a legend. Billy Quintaine, a fearsome murderer, scourge of the West, is now an excuse for people to buy trinkets and snap photos. Immediately after jumping into the future, Billy is greeted by a tour guide in a garish cowboy outfit. We flash-back to his body in a casket, surrounded by his killers, posing for a morbid photograph. The gritty, violent truth is lost. We’re all washed away by history. The story even presents an afterlife for old cowboys, a posse riding across the desert sands forever. “Showdown” attempts to say something about the modern world’s relationship with the legends of the Wild West.

The second segment, “King of the Road,” shifts gears to the carsploitation genre. It also stars future world-wide superstar Brad Pitt, the biggest name to ever show up on “Tales from the Crypt” or its associated series. Character actor Raymond J. Barry stars as Joe Garrett, a cop and father. Secretly, Joe was a champion street racer when he was young but has been running from that past since killing a rival racer. That past comes rushing back when a young punk named Billy shows up, demanding a race. When Joe says no, Billy seduces his daughter, kidnaps her, and forces Joe to get behind the wheel of a dragster one last time.

The EC comics usually worked in archetypes and “King of the Road” is no different. How much you enjoy the segment probably depends on whether or not you have a built-in affection for those archetypes. I, myself, have a soft spot for carsploitation flicks, stories of old professionals being challenged by new-comers, and father/daughter stories. So I enjoy “King of the Road” a lot. Raymond J. Barry is good as the strong, silent Joe. Brad Pitt hams it up nicely as the psychotic Billy while Michelle Bronson strikes the right balance of youthful energy and fragile innocence needed for the role of the daughter.

While Richard Donner and Robert Zemecksis were established hit-makers, the third director of “Two-Fisted Tales” was in a different league. Todd Holland was known for clever, subversive genre fare like “Fright Night” and “Psycho II.” He had also directed several episodes of “Crypt,” which might explain why he tagged along for “Two-Fisted Tales.” Tom Holland’s direction captures the sleazy, nostalgic tone necessary for this sort of story. The race scenes are too short but still feature lots of twisted chrome, spinning tires, and speeding muscle cars. Somehow, Warren Zevon was convinced to contributed some original songs to “King of the Road.” “Bad Road” is rowdy and rollicking while “Roll with the Punches” is more nostalgic and insightful. Frustratingly, only the latter has ever been given an official release.

The final segment of “Two-Fisted Tales” is brought to us by Robert Zemeckis. Simply entitled “Yellow,” it’s the only part of the film directly based on an EC comic story. (Though it was published in “Shock SuspenStories,” instead of “Two-Fisted Tales.) Set on the European battlefield of World War I, the episode follows a young lieutenant, son of a high-ranking general. A pacifist who’s afraid of death, the lieutenant backs away from the bloody war. An attempt to prove his courage goes horribly wrong, leaving his entire squad dead. The boy is charged with treason, facing execution, causing the conflict between father and son to come to a head.

“Yellow” is the most star-studded segment of “Two-Fisted Tales.” Hollywood royalty like Kirk Douglas stars alongside his less famous younger son, Eric Douglas. The supporting cast features an expectedly glib Dan Akyroyd and Lance Henriksen. Despite the pulpiness of the material, Kirk Douglas treats the character with utmost seriousness. This is amusing, since Douglas’ casting was assuredly a reference to “Paths of Glory,” were Douglas played a solider questioning his superior’s actions. Eric Douglas is good in his part as well. Considering the second Douglas son’s numerous run-ins with the law and his eventual death from a drug overdose, you can’t help but wonder if there’s an autobiographical element to the speeches with his father here. Lance Henriksen is at his most horse here and has fun growling his dialogue.

“Yellow” is a surprisingly bleak anti-war story. Eric Douglas' lieutenant is afraid of death and unwilling to fight on the battlefield, like most anyone would be. His father and comrades force him into combat. When he proves his previously stated incompetence as a soldier, he’s court marshaled and set for execution. His dad lures him into a false sense of security, promising to spare his life, before having him killed anyway. In other words, the military values their own conceited sense of honor over the lives of their men. Zemeckis makes the most of his direction, creating some effectively foggy atmosphere on the nighttime battle fields. Despite mostly being inside cramped bunkers and trenches, the costumes and locations are still full of period details.

“Two-Fisted Tales” wouldn’t be the only attempt to launch a spin-off from “Tales from the Crypt.” Direct spin-offs, maintaining the Crypt Keeper character, included three movies, a Saturday morning cartoon, and a kid’s game show. After “Tales” ended, “Perversions of Science,” a series based off EC’s science fiction comics, aired for one season. As for “Two-Fisted Tales,” it was never re-aired or released on home video. Aside from those “Tales from the Crypt” episodes, “Two-Fisted Tales” mostly survives as a shaky VHS rip on Youtube. While none of the stories in “Two-Fisted Tales” are masterpieces, each are entertaining in their own right. I’m not sure if it would’ve made for a long-lasting series but, as a one-off movie, it’s not bad. [Grade: B]

Recent Watches: Omen IV: The Awakening (1991)

Damien Thorn – the Antichrist, the Son of the Devil, the Great Beast – is dead. Yet even franchises are sometimes more immortal then demonic off-spring. 20th Century Fox’s then-fledgling television network was looking for viewers. The channel hoped to utilize Fox’s vast library of recognizable titles by producing made-for-TV sequels to popular films. Because of producer Harvey Bernhard’s undying devotion to “The Omen” series, he made sure the devil child saga was the first series selected for this treatment. And the primary antagonist being dead wasn’t going to stop him either. “Omen IV: The Awakening” premiered on Fox on May 20, 1991. The sequel failed to revive the series and prematurely ended Fox’s plans for film-based TV movies.

Ignoring the Second Coming of Christ at the end of “The Final Conflict,” “The Awakening” instead follows the original series in broad strokes. Virginian congressman Gene Park and his wife Karen are unable to conceive. They adopt an infant girl, which they name Delia. Years later, as Gene builds towards a presidential campaign, Karen begins to worry that there’s something wrong with Delia. The girl acts coldy and cruelly, has no friends, and frightens animals. Soon, strange deaths begin to follow the girl. After Karen becomes pregnant, she becomes increasingly disturbed by Delia’s behavior. Further investigation leads Karen to believe that her adopted daughter may be the off-spring of Damien Thorn, a second generation Antichrist.

By re-focusing the story on a parent worrying about their child, “Omen IV” could’ve built upon the original’s ideas about parental anxieties. Instead, a total lack of subtly turns “The Awakening” into the hokiest of horror sequels. Delia is obviously evil from the moment we meet her, starring blankly and darkly. She acts like a sociopath in every scene. So her mom’s concerns aren’t common anxieties, they’re completely founded. Meanwhile, the movie shoves dime store horror down your throat at every turn. Inverted crosses are tossed around with abandon, placing one on-screen whenever something creepy is suppose to happen. (Of course, any informed Catholic could tell you that the inverted cross isn’t a Satanic symbol at all.) The musical score is also seriously overdone, every moment emphasized with obnoxious stings and uninspired themes. “Ave Satani” is surprisingly only used three times, Jonathan Sheffer’s generic and cartoonish score doing the heavy lifting.

“The Awakening’s” attempts to update “The Omen” for the early nineties is also hilariously awkward. Delia’s nanny, Jo, is into all kinds of New Age bullshit. She wears a crystal around her neck, rambling on about its purity and positive energy. This enrages Delia, causing all of Jo’s crystal to turn black. Her friend Noah, played by Jim Byrnes and his awesome mullet, claims he can see energy fields and gets some serious bad vibes from Delia. Later, the nanny drags the little girl to a “psychic fair,” where Delia has her aura photographed. The black, squiggly lines floating around Delia in her Polaroid is enough to confirm Jo’s suspicion. I’m not sure why screenwriter Brian Taggert felt the need to incorporate hokum and pseudoscience like this into the already ridiculous “Omen” mythology. Would the ominous warnings of crazed priest be too tame by 1991 standards?

“The Omen” series’ trademark of graphic and disturbing death scenes, in retrospect, makes it an odd choice for a network television continuation. “The Awakening” struggles to find nifty ways to dispatch people. Delia’s earliest evil act is to whack a bully with a lunchbox. Later, she strands him up a ladder, causing the boy to wet his pants. When the violence actually comes, most of it is kept off-screen, as you’d expect. A car crashes into the lift of a tow truck, resulting in the driver’s decapitation. A snake-handler gets bitten by a viper, dying of venom poisoning in a hospital bed. A private detective is struck by a rogue wrecking ball, his body transformed into a flailing dummy at death. But the most ridiculous death scene is reserved for Jo. After being suddenly blinded by Delia’s evil, she’s chased through the house by the devil’s cuddly Rottweiler companion. This dog pushes Jo out a window, where see lands on a playground roundabout. The score punctuates the death by playing some carnival music. I get that grotesque gore was off the table for the TV movie but surely they could’ve done better then this.

Further sinking “Omen IV” is a set of awful performances. Faye Grant stars as Karen. Grant’s performance is always pitched a little pass believable. As the story progresses, and her character becomes more upset, Grant’s acting gets more and more silly. The scene that flatly explains Delia’s connection to Damien in great detail is especially goofy, Grant acting with all the subtly of Miss Piggy. Asia Vieira plays Delia. Vieira’s key to acting evil is to stare ahead blankly and declare mildly sinister statements in a blank monotone. Ann Hearn as Jo the nanny is incredibly irritating. Really, the only memorable performance in the movie is Michael Lerner as the private detective that slowly uncovers the Satanic connection. Lerner is the kind of character that can spin shit into gold. He huffs and puffs as the sleazy P.I., acting absurdly but in a way that’s enjoyable, rather then laughable.

Maybe I’m being too hard on “Omen IV: The Awakening.” Maybe I’m expecting too much from a cheap cash-in sequel released straight to television, that blatantly recalls the previous films with half the budget and none of the skill. Yet even the previous lackluster “Omen” sequels had more to offer then this dumb flick. Even the unintentional laughter it provides doesn’t justify the movie’s existence. Feeling exactly like the cheap TV movie of the week it is, “The Awakening” makes the clear case that “The Omen” franchise should’ve died with Damien. [4/10]