Director Report Card: Peter Jackson (2001-2005)

7. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings
It’s boring. I’ve never read J. R. R. Tolken and have never been a fan. Sure, when the novels first came out, it was a unique world that had never been heard of before. But by now so much of what was new and exciting back then has been stolen and reused so much that it just isn’t anymore.

The biggest thing I dislike about this film is its lack of a sense of humor. It’s that humor that characterized so much of Jackson’s earlier films and without it, this film lacks the certain energy needed. It’s way, way too serious. And did I mention how incredibly uninteresting the characters are? This film is full of great actors and none of them can transcend the pretentiousness of the original text. Very little of this is Jackson’s fault, granted, as these are all problems I had with the original novels and if he had dared to changed something the geek gods might have rain vengeance down on him.
What is his fault is the ridiculously long run-time. I know there’s a lot of ground to cover, but did this really need to be three hours long? The final battle scene in particular drags and the film takes forever to end. And of course the worst punch line is, that’s not the end! There are still six more hours to sit through before you get any sort of closure!

Still, I’ll give credit where it’s due. The world created here is visually beautiful and probably the best realized universe seen on film in ages. The special effects are particularly flawless. Truthfully, elves and hobbits just aren’t my thing so I can’t really appreciate this film on any other level then the “Wow, that’s pretty!” one. [Grade: C]

8. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
This one is a little better. There are big battles scenes all around and I think that’s why I enjoyed it more then part one. When the characters stop spewing that hopelessly droll fantasy speak at each other and just start stabbing things, the film actually comes close to being fun.

The film is also the debut of Gollem, the only character that is actually interesting in the entire film series. Gollem is totally fascinating and you can’t take your eyes off him when his on screen. The Academy robbed Andy Serkis of an award because of some stupid technicality but it is a wonderful performance that deserved some sort of recognition. The film is still too goddamn long and when Gollem isn’t around and somebody isn’t getting stabbed, I couldn’t care less. But still, it’s definitely a step forward. [Grade: B]

9. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
I actually enjoyed this one quite a bit… …probably because I skipped it in theaters and only saw it on DVD, where I could fast-forward through all the boring shit. And I didn’t really miss any of the plot either which proves how bloated these films really are.

The battle scenes are as epic as you’d expect. The ring slowly consuming Frodo is actually entertaining to watch and Gollem still can do no wrong in my eyes. This film also features an honest to God conclusion which makes it all far more satisfying then the other two. (Of course, the film takes frikin’ forever to end, but still, at least it did end.) I actually found myself almost liking Sam and Frodo too, though I would never ever admit it in the presence of some Tolken humping fan boy. [Grade: B]

10. King Kong
Jackson seems to be suffering from Sergio Leone syndrome and can’t seem to make a film less than three hours anymore, so this is a bit longer then it should be and the first act could probably have used some trimming. Still, I much prefer it to anything from the Hairy Feet trilogy.

When watched back-to-back with the original film, it actually proves to be a rather brilliant post-modern treatment of the 1933 classic. Scenes from the original are recreated here as the film-within-the-film and Jackson seems to be saying that much of the original is outdated macho pandering. Which it is, of course, but we love it anyway. And the director obviously loves it too as none of this comes off as really critical. Jackson takes a much more humanistic approach to everything, particularly the characters. Adrian Brody’s Jack Driscoll is an everyman playwright as opposed to the original’s two-fisted hero. Jack Black is great as Carl Denham and isn’t afraid to play up the character’s more bastard-like qualities.
The concept to receive the biggest overhaul is the relationship between Ann Darrows and the big monkey. There actually appears to be, if not a genuine affection between the two, at least a mutual respect. Naomi Watts redeems herself after a bunch of crappy movies and proves that she is indeed a great actress. Andy Serkis makes Kong just as memorable and lovable a character as Gollem was. The Skull Island sequences are exciting and thrilling, the dinosaur stampede being my favorite. The spider pit is pretty squirm inducing as well. And I don’t even think I need to tell you how good the special effects are.

The film has a real soul to it, however, that makes it a far more dramatically rounded feature then “Lord of the Rings” was. As Kong scales the Empire State Building and Howard Shore’s score plays, the film pulls back and makes you aware of the inevitable conclusion to all this. You realize that the story is really a heart-breaking tragedy. [Grade: A]

Director Report Card: Peter Jackson (1994-1996)

4. Heavenly Creatures

Feels like something of a transition from Jackson’s earlier more outrageous films to his slicker Hollywood productions. It maintains a lot of the spirit of his previous productions. There’s certain energy, plucky spirit, and anarchic humor to many of the fantasy sequences. Jackson’s imagination shines during these moments and he forges many unforgettable images.

The film’s short prologue seems to be a sort of warning to the audience to let them know that, despite most of the film feeling like a whimsical story of young friendship and budding sexuality, none of this ends well. There’s a certain darkness underlining much of the lighter proceedings. This prevents any sudden shift in mood because you realize it’s been building up to this all along.
The two lead performances are really wonderful. I wonder how many directors envy Peter Jackson for being the one who discover Kate Winslet. She’s captures the essence of a bubbly, energetic teenage girl right on the edge of a breakdown perfectly. Despite Winslet demanding much of your attention, Melanie Lynskey’s Pauline is at the center of the film. When she stares at you with those eyes, you can feel a real intensity cooking inside the girl. She completely immerses herself in the role. Of course, it’s how the two actresses, playing very different but strangely very similar characters, compliment each other that really makes the film work. The relationship they have feels honest and, dare I say, heart-warming. Proof of how involving the film is, is that at the end I wasn’t thinking, “It’s horrible what they did,” but, “It’s so sad they’ll never see each other again.” [Grade: A]


5. Forgotten Silver (with Costa Botes)
I suppose a lot of the fun of “Forgotten Silver” is ruined by knowing anything about the movie before watching it. The movie is quite a brilliant mockumentary.

It details the career of early film pioneer Colin McKenzie. Rising out of obscurity in New Zealand, McKenzie would go on to make such cinematic advances as motorized film, feature length stories, synchronized sound, close-ups, and color. He would film the first working airplane (not the Wright brothers), an early example of police brutality, before his career climaxed in a epic four-hour rendition of the biblical tale of Salome, that wouldn’t be seen until years after his death in the Spanish Civil War. Peter Jackson himself would accidentally discover much of McKenzie’s work before presenting it to the world, where McKenzie was accepted as a hugely important pioneer of early film, to be held in the same regard as Edison, Melies, and Griffin.
Never heard of Colin McKenzie before? That’s because the whole movie is a fabulous hoax. He never existed and everything here is totally fictional. Even if you didn’t know that going in, there are several clues, such as a preposterous use of digital recovery and the amusing series of misfortunes that prevented McKenzie’s amazing developments from being recognized. Everyone involved, including such recognizable faces as Leonard Maltin, Sam Neil, and Harvey Weinstein, keep straight faces. All of the silent recreations as very well done and fairly convincing. The final Salome feature in particular feels pretty definitely like a real silent film. I also really like the music. Under an hour in length despite the 70 minute running time listed on the DVD (I suppose that includes the excellent “Behind the Bull” featurette included in the special features), “Forgotten Silver” is still a really neat little picture and a good example of Peter Jackson’s range as a filmmaker. [Grade: B]

6. The Frighteners
I suppose we couldn’t expect Jackson’s first studio horror film to meet up with the expectations of his earlier gory projects. Considering those expectations, “The Frighteners” holds up pretty well. The movie’s tone isn’t one hundred percent perfect. Ultimately, it’s a horror-tinged supernatural mystery-adventure with some comedy thrown in.

In the earlier parts of the movie, when Frank Bannister is chatting with his ghost friends, many scenes come off as shrill or too frantic. Generally speaking, the goofy slapstick antics of our spectral pals doesn’t really gel over all. Once they exit the picture, things start to go better. Not to say this section is bad. It’s still pretty decent and the likes of John Astin, Chi McBride, and R. Lee Ermy make the goofy ghost pretty entertaining anyway.

Still, once the set-up is established and we get on with the story, the movie improves dramatically. The second half is excellent. The entire finale in the old hospital is thrilling, exciting perfect popcorn stuff. If the whole movie was like that, “The Frighteners” would be a masterpiece. But, you know, the set-up is necessary.
Michael J. Fox isn’t the kind of leading man you would have thought of for a project like this but he actually does a pretty good job, keeping some of his typical smarmy charm while occasionally going to darker places. Jeffery Combs steals the show in his supporting part as the highly demented FBI agent. He’s hilarious and I’d say its Combs best performance after old Herbert West. Dee Wallace, who is almost unrecognizable in a black wig, has fun playing a villainess for once. Jake Busey is good even if he doesn’t cover any new ground.

Peter Jackson’s direction is quite good. Color is used excellently and the whole movie has a beautiful green, blue drab to it. The score, with its gothic violins, is a good listen and provides a unique tone. Though this is definitely Peter Jackson’s project, you can’t help but wonder how much influence producer Robert Zemeckis held. “The Frighteners” feels a lot like a Zemeckis project at times. Still, it’s a good time. [Grade: B+]

Director Report Card: Peter Jackson (1987-1992)

1. Bad Taste
I didn’t like this one as much as I hoped I would, considering it’s a film right up my alley. It very obviously a low budget, very independent film and I can’t help but feel that hurts the film, even though it really isn’t its fault. For a film of this type, I thought the cast was maybe a little too large as you only get to know two or three characters.
More then anything else, “Bad Taste” is driven by its demented sense of humor. It’s filled with the gross-out humor that characterizes many of Jackson’s early films. Some of it crosses the line from “funny-gross” to just plain gross, but still, this has a generous amount of twisted laughs. When you consider how professional this looks considering it’s budget, it becomes a little impressive. Though I was disappointed, it’s hard to really dislike any film with an exploding sheep in it. [Grade: B-]


2. Meet the Feebles
“Meet the Feebles” is a sick and twisted comedy so sick and twisted that those words don’t really aptly describe it. Jackson tops “Bad Taste” in just about every way as this movie is better made, funnier, and more outrageous.

The general plot is, basically, Muppets acting as deprived as humanly (Muppet-ly?) possible. Sex, rape, drug abuse, gang violence, war violence, S&M, vomiting, binge eating, coprophagia, murder, and full frontal puppet nudity are just some of the acts feature within. And all of it is played for laughs, of course. This very easily could have been a one-joke movie but somehow it works. The funniest moment in the film is the knife-throwing frog’s drug-induced Vietnam flashback, in which the Americans are portrayed as frogs and the VC are woodchucks. There’s also a “Deer Hunter” style Russian Roulette game. Also deserving of mention is the film’s climax, in which the jilted, suicidal/homicidal hippo diva goes on a machine gun rampage throughout the theater set to the tune of the “Sodomy Song.” If that doesn’t tickle your funny bone then you are obviously not the target audience for this film. [Grade: B+]


3. Dead-Alive
Jackson’s so-called “splatter trilogy” reaches it crescendo with “Dead/Alive” (aka “Braindead”), the film that pretty much defines the “splatstick” subgenre of horror film. The bigger budget shine helps this one a lot and the quality of the special effects are greatly improved from the last two films. The lead performances are actually pretty good and the central romance is nice, too. There’s also some not-so-subtle Freudian subtext that adds some replay value.
Of course, the real reason anyone talks about this film is for the demented comedy and gore. There’s plenty of great gags in this one. The diner party? The zombie baby? The Nazi chemist? The kung-fu ass-kicking-for-the-Lord priest? Yeah. Possibly not as outrageous as “Meet the Feebles” but definitely funnier. And the gore? This film has the label of goriest of all time for a reason. There’s some blood throughout but it’s the climax where the movie really pays off. Seriously, not a second pass without somebody getting dismember or splattered. Words fail to convey the greatness of the last twenty minutes. It’s a gore hound’s wet dream and is just as likely to horrify you as it to cause you falling off the couch laughing. The rest of the public can have their “Lord of the Rings” movie, in my mind, this will always be Peter Jackson’s greatest achievement. [Grade: A]

Director Report Card: Bryan Singer (2000-2006)

4. X-Men

As his past films proved, (especially “The Usual Suspects”) Bryan Singer can do good stuff with ensemble films. And if “X-Men” is nothing else, it is an ensemble film. That the picture’s greatest strength. How the character’s personalities, as well as their superpowers, are understood shortly after meeting them. As soon as we understand those things, the fun stuff, mainly how they interact, can start.The film spends most of it’s time focusing on the cast and even then some characters are left underdeveloped. The story also takes a back seat and is not as strong as it probably should be which means the experience as a whole is not completely satisfying.

Still, on a superhero movie level, “X-Men” is highly successful. The action sequences are well done, the movie is fun, and many of the characters are a case of actor and material being perfectly matched. (Halle Berry aside, everybody gives a great performance.) [Grade: B+]


5. X2
First off, this sequel improves upon its predecessor by shaping a much stronger story. The tale builds to a nice tension by the end and all the pieces are expertly set up. It maintains the problem of having too many characters and some cast members are underdeveloped or underused. (I’m glad I’m not a Cyclops fan as his part has been reduced significantly.) The movie is smart enough to leave enough room for new characters however, allowing Alan Cummings as Nightcrawler and Brain Cox as General Stryker to shine in their respective parts.

The action scenes are a step-up too. Magnento’s escape, Nightcrawler’s White House assault, the invasion on the school, and Wolverine’s fight with Lady Deathstrike are all memorable set-pieces. While this film is superior to the first, generally speaking, it lacks that sense of comic book fun and excitement that is really necessary for a project such as this. While it’s not a big issue, I think the film takes itself maybe a little too seriously. Still, “X2” is a great sequel. [Grade: A-]


6. Superman Returns
Visually, this is Bryon Singer's best looking film. His camera dances in and around scenes in a way that I didn't really expect from him. Many of the effects are beautifully done. Not once did I point at an effect and say, "That looks fake." Most notable is the big airplane crash scene, which is just a very well staged, thrilling, and brilliantly paced scene. Kevin Spacey, though a little broad at times, seems to be having a pretty good time playing Lex Luthor. And for a movie that is nearly three hours long, not once did I stop to check the time.My biggest complaint with this film is the acting from the two leads. Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane never really convinced me. Brandon Routh lacks a certain charm and all the good stuff he does is basically just ripped from Chris Reeve's performance. Because of this their relationship is never quite as emotionally involving as it should be. What really saves the movie, in the end, is that it's just so heartfelt. Singer's love for the character and the material is palpable. The whole thing is just a big fuzzy love-letter to the Christopher Reeve films, and maybe to a lesser degree, the whole idea of comic book heroes. I'm still not sure if that's a good thing, in the long run, as a fresher approach probably would have been better. Yet this is still a highly enjoyable film and great summer blockbuster fare. Now if only they had found a better actor to play Superman. [Grade: A-]

Director Report Card: Bryan Singer (1993-1998)

1. Public Access

Certainly an interesting little movie, even if it doesn’t actually do too much with its premise. Not completely unlike Singer’s next film, “Public Access” is a movie that actually spends more time telling you what it’s not about. We are ask to draw our own conclusion; not a bad things at all, but we’re not really given enough to figure much out.
Still, I found plenty to enjoy here. The discussion about small town values is compelling stuff. A lot is done with what was obviously a small budget. Ron Marquette’s lead performance is deceptively deep. Singer’s direction is stylish and colorful with some interesting visual clues and subtexts. “Public Access” is not required viewing, but fans of the director or of smart indies might want to give it a look, if they have nothing else to watch. [Grade: B-]


2. The Usual Suspects
An intricate puzzle box of a movie. The plot is complicated and really demands your attention, but this appears to be a ploy just to drawl you into the movie’s world. Or it could just be to confuse, cause you to over think things (Much like Chazz Palminteri’s character does), so when the twist ending does comes, it hits harder then you’d expected. I’d probably hate the movie for that if the twist wasn’t as awesome as it is.
The movie might be easily dismissed as a one-time pony if it weren’t for the care taken to bring the story to life. Bryan Singer’s direction is cool and smooth, in perfect neo-noir style. There is a great ensemble cast here. All the individual characters are well acted, memorable, likable, and well-rounded. Possibly more important is how well they play off each other. Each character is design to play off the rest of the team in order to produce maximum drama. So while the big twist gets you the first time, it’s the multiple layers that make you come back for seconds. [Grade: A]


3. Apt Pupil
What’s best about this feature is its acting. Ian McKellen, despite an obviously fake German accent, is certainly a fine actor and gives a good performance and Brad Renfro does a good job as well. Their personalities don’t quite clash and click as they should and that causes the film too loose a lot of tension. The character interaction is still entertaining to watch, but the mentor/enemies concept just didn’t seem very rounded to me.
Singer’s direction does manage to produce at least two scenes of actual tension, Renfro’s frenzied bike-ride through the tunnel and the sequence with the homeless man being them. The nature of evil in people is the main theme, something carried over from the original Stephen King novella, and that gives the final product considerable more strength. The way these two people affect each other, how their beliefs contaminate one another, is fascinating and makes up for the noticeable lack of tension. The final act drags a little but I really liked the ending. So, if you go in expecting more of a character study and less of a thriller, you’ll probably be pretty satisfied. [Grade: B+]

Director Report Card: Guillermo del Toro (2004-2008)

5. Hellboy

I haven’t read too many “Hellboy” comics but I’ve seen enough to know what a spot-on adaptation this is. It nails all the characters and the comic’s quirky tone while also allowing the director to show of his unique eccentricities.

Ron Perlman really shines in a rare starring role, creating easily the most appealing on-screen superhero of the decade. The rest of the acting is not as good with John Hurt and Jeffery Tambor more or less sleepwalking, though Selma Blair is decent. More great special effects and the action scenes are defiantly a step-up from “Blade II.” (Yea! No more obvious CGI!) The fact that this movie is as funny as it is really differentiates it from its superhero contemporaries.

The climax is not as exciting as it should which is disappointing after all that build-up. The love triangle is also a completely unnecessary subplot and there are more pointless characters which I hope is something that doesn’t becomes one of the director’s trademarks. Speaking of which, this film features underground tunnels/mazes, clockwork machinery, and even manages to throw in a curious little kid, too, however briefly. [Grade: B+]


6. Pan's Labyrinth
A dark fairy tale is a phrase that is being a used a lot to describe this film. The film truly is a fairy tale but isn’t all that dark when compared to Hans Christian Anderson or Greek mythology, both of which were obvious influences.

The movie is pure del Toro. Its protagonist is a young girl who refuses to have her innocence corrupted by a world that is becoming increasingly darker but at the same time is not naive to those evils around her. An underground maze is pivotal to the plot as the title makes pretty clear. A pocket watch plays a minor role in the proceedings.

Ivana Baquence hits all the right notes as Ofelia, the lead, and Sergio Lopez, playing her fascist general step-father and the true villain of the piece, is very frightening. Like the best of classical fairy tales, the movie is whimsical, but isn’t afraid to be scary either. The Pale Man sequence is very intense. The director does it right here by including subplots and extra characters, but they actually add to the story proper instead of distracting from it. Also like a fairy tale, the film can be examined from many different levels and is certainly multi-layered. It’s a highly successful film, the best film of 2006 in fact, and might be the director’s masterpiece. [Grade: A]


7. Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Summer movie season is becoming increasingly crowded. It seems that from May to August, every week brings a new huge budgeted superhero movie that has to make a gazillion dollars that weekend to be consider a profit before next week’s huge budgeted superhero movie appears and pushes the last out of the top ten. It’s a shame when a genuinely interesting movie like “Hellboy II: The Golden Army” appears during such a summer.

Sadly, Hellboy’s latest outing seems somewhat pale in comparison to the summer’s many other offerings. Yes, there are big effect scenes. Sadly, only two of them, the forest elemental showdown and the battle with the title army, are really exciting. Yes, there are fight scenes. Sadly, compared to the kung-fu theatrics of every other blockbuster around, they don’t exactly warrant oohs or ahhs.

For once, though, none of that matters. “Hellboy II” is a hugely entertaining picture more because of its characters then anything else. Ron Perlman was born to play Hellboy. Never before has there been a better combination of character and actor. The supporting cast is much stronger this time around. Selma Blair’s Liz has developed a lot since part one and, along with a new Lain-inspired hair-do, makes the character far more fresher and engrossing then before. All the dead weight has been dropped from the cast, Johan Strauss makes for an amusing addition, and Doug Jones is actually allowed to voice his character this time around. His character of Abe goes through a lot of developing too. The emotional resonance of the cast is important since love is the main motivating force in the story. It should be noted that a drunken warbling of a cheesy Barry Manilow song is probably the best moment of the movie.

The CGI effects are better then the first but probably won’t age well. No, it’s the practical creature effects that rule the day. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this many unique looking monsters and creatures, all created by animatronics and good-old fashion makeup, in a movie together. Del Toro brings his full imagination here and a lot of this can be summed up as “Hellboy Goes to Pan’s Labyrinth.”

So, the movie may not be as exciting as the latest Will Smith or Batman flick, but “Hellboy II” is funny, refreshing, fun, and possibly more over-all entertaining then anything else this summer.
[Grade: B+]

Director Report Card: Guillermo del Toro (1993-2002)

1. Cronos
One of the few vampire movies released in the past twenty years that you could truly describe as original. The acting is great from all the leads, though it’s Tamara Shanath who is the most surprising talent. She has one line of dialogue in the whole movie but manages to create a real character with just her body language and facial mannerisms. Consider how young the actress is makes this even more amazing. And that’s good too, because if the relationship between the grandfather and the granddaughter didn’t work, I doubt the movie would have either. It is this that is at the heart of the film and is its main driving force.

The golden scarab that set-ups the film’s plot is the first of del Toro’s clockwork creations, which is a reoccurring theme, you’ll discover. The photography is very moody and the final image stays with you for some time. The mixture of Spanish and English is distracting and the film is deliberately slow-paced, but it more then makes up for that with its creativity and heart. [Grade: A-]


2. Mimic
This is a pretty basic monster movie that benefits from Guillermo’s strength for atmosphere and some pretty good special effects. It is the first of his films to feature underground caverns and the second to have an imaginative child be part of the plot. The opening would work great as a short film and is probably the scariest part throughout, with its brilliant use of shadows, light, and sound effects.
As the movie delves into the cliché characters, it gets less interesting. The majority of the first act should have been more interesting but it’s mostly set-up being laid down. As soon as we get to the underground, we are greeted to a good number of well handled scare scenes. Toro’s use of shadows is of particular note. While much of the CGI hasn’t aged well, the mutant bugs are still interestingly designed monsters. The ending could have been a little better, however, and lacks a certain satisfaction. An entertaining picture, but not as imaginative as some of del Toro’s other work. [Grade: B]


3. The Devil's Backbone
“The Devil’s Backbone” is a movie about a lot of things, ultimately. It’s a coming of age story, a loss of innocence. But it’s also got a buried treasure. It’s a ghost story, though the ghosts are probably the least of the character’s problems. It’s a movie about a war, but more about how it affects people and less about the conflict itself. When you get down to the barebones, it’s about children trying to survive a harsh world during a harsh time, a theme del Toro has since revisited.
His writing is really impressive here, as he manages to develop a large cast and each one of their stories successfully. The actors are all excellent, especially the young boys who are just as good as any of the older cast members.

He creates many eerie, spooky images, especially when the ghost of Santi is concerned. (Honestly, he’s one of the cooler ghost designs I’ve seen in recent memory.) But it’s a melancholy film in the end, a meditation on childhood and eternity. [Grade: A]


4. Blade II
An action movie that kicks ass with a capital K. This is the first time del Toro gets a chance to show off his skills as an action director and he proves to be just as talented there as he is in other territories, though his use of CGI is questionable. It’s also a good sequel in that it keeps everything from the first film that works and ditches what didn’t, builds upon number’s one themes, and adds just enough new stuff to make it interesting.
Wesley Snipes skills as an actor might be in questions but he has enough charisma to make up for that and Kris Kristofferson and Ron Perlman are always interesting to watch. The plot is surprisingly good for a film like this with several twists here and there. The special effects and gore are also excellent with the neat looking new Reaper vampires.

The film’s energy peters out before it ends and you get the feeling that there is maybe one action scene too many. The cast is also too big with most of the characters getting killed before really getting developed. It feels more like a Guillermo del Toro movie then a Blade movie at times, though I really don’t think that’s a bad thing. Underground caverns/tunnels/mazes? Yes! Clockwork or scared little kids? Unfortunately, no. [Grade: B+]