Series Report Card: Friday the 13th (1993-2003)

9. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
When a film series runs as long as this one has, it’s certainly a good idea to spice up the central concept, especially when the films are as admittedly routine as these can be. However, I still feel “Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday” strays from the central ideas of the franchise a bit too much. Rewriting series’ history by saying that all this time Jason has been a body hopping demon as opposed to just a hockey-happy maniac comes a bit out of left-field and toys with fan’s expectation too much, especially since it means Jason as himself only appears for brief moments at the beginning and end of the film.

The gore is quite impressive and features some of the nastiest scenes in the franchise and is definitely the main reason to catch this one. Genre fans should also watch out for several in-jokes like the presence of props from “Evil Dead,” “Creepshow,” and “The Birds.” Also of note is that this film also features the most graphic sex scene of the series.

However, other areas lack. I appreciate the writer/director’s attempts to give the characters a little more personality then the clichés usually seen in types like this. That doesn’t change the fact that most of the cast is shrill, annoying, or just plain stupid. Not even the presence of special guest victims Erin Gray or Leslie Jordon can change this.

And what about the Jason make-up? It looks very rubbery and fake. When Jason does show back up at the end, the film actually becomes pretty enjoyable, which makes me wonder if the movie would have been better had he stuck around for the majority of the picture. As it is, “Jason Goes to Hell” is a different but unsatisfying entry in the series. [Grade: C-]



10. Jason X
By this point the franchise has been around for over two decades. Over that twenty year course, any sense of reality has pretty much been loss as Jason has returned from the dead numerous times, eventually as a super strong, indestructible ultra-zombie; fought a telekinetic chick, took a field trip to New York, became a body switching demon, and been to hell and back. (Same as New York, right?) Naturally, the only thing left to do is send him into space. (“Friday the Apollo 13th?”) Some fans deride this direction, saying it’s too far removed from the series’ roots. I completely embrace it though, as it’s this sort of campiness that keeps the movies fun.

And if it’s nothing else, “Jason X” is fun. Goofy, certainly, and stupid in parts, too, but I was entertain and that’s all I really ask from these films. Injecting some humor into the proceedings helps a lot, especially the “Crystal Lake Holo-deck” scene which is great. The gore and murder scenes are well-done and at least creative, taking advantage of the futuristic setting, though a few of them felt compromised by the budget. The cast is slightly better then expected though none of the talent on screen here is above the series’ standards. The cyborg/Jason fight is fun and Robo-Jason is a slick payoff.

Some of the humor is groan inducing and the pacing could probably be a little better, but if this is any indication of the kind of direction the series is taking, I am pleased. By embracing its B-movie roots and not being afraid to get a little crazy, the franchise may prove to have some legs outside of the eighties. [Grade: B-]

11. Freddy vs. Jason
It was first suppose to happen back in 1988 (“The New Blood” was made instead) and was set up ten years prior by the end of “The Final Friday,” but it wasn’t until 2003 that “Freddy vs. Jason” actually got made. Pitting the two reigning kings of eighties slasher horror against each other had the potential to be an embarrassment to both franchises, especially when you look at some of the early scripts and concepts that were thrown around during the decade this movie stayed in development hell. However, by hiring some smart fans to write the script and Hong-Kong action veteran Ronny Yu to direct, the payoff is basically a fan boy’s wet dream.

While a bit too much attention is paid to the cast of teenagers, who are typically pretty uninteresting, most of the film centers on the two stars themselves, which is a very smart idea since they’re the ones we all care about anyway. Freddy hasn’t been this nasty since the first “Elm Street” and we get to probe Jason’s subconscious a bit. The movie balances between the two characters very nicely, giving both of them equal screen time, and effectively blends the two universes, which is actually a lot harder then it sounds. There are also several nods here and there to past films in both franchises, which is a nice treat for long term fans.

The final battle between the two is like horror geek nirvana. Though there’s plenty of good gore throughout, the best set-pieces are saved for the final act, as the two terror titans really do beat the shit out of each other. The fight scene is choreographed surprisingly well and Yu watches the whole thing with a steady hand. Visually speaking, Yu’s direction is actually pretty good all the way through, as the film makes great use of color and set design and is very interesting to look at. Basically, this film was everything it should have been and I enjoyed myself a great deal. (I still think “A Nightmare on Friday the 13th” would have been a better title.) [Grade: A]


The next entry in the series, a remake/franchise reboot simply entitled “Friday the 13th,” is in production right now and will premier next February, on the thirteenth, natch. This report card will be updated accordingly around that time. So keep your eyes (and other body parts) peeled.

Series Report Card: Friday the 13th (1985-1989)

5. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning
Infamously disliked by fans of the series for the fact that Jason doesn’t actually appear in the movie. That’s a major flaw with the film but if the problems ended there, I might’ve been able to forgive it. Sadly, that’s just the beginning.The acting is really bad. I mean, it approaches Troma Films level here. The characters that do have personality are shrill and annoying. You can’t wait for them to die. Normally, that wouldn’t be too big of an issue. However, the gore is disappointing as well. There are a couple interesting death scenes, like the leather strap against the tree or the outhouse sequence, but a great deal of the effects feel cheap and uninspired. The whole movie is plagued with that feeling of cheapness. You can tell that none of the people involved in making this were particularly interested in the material. Even the nudity is disappointing as there is really only one scene and the breasts are small and sad. It’s a lazy, boring entry in the series and definitely the worse. [Grade: F]


6. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives!
The sense of self-parody has never been stronger then it is in this one. While there has been some humor in the franchise for some time now, this is the first time I would consider the film an all-out “horror-comedy.” I’d say it was pretty successful on that level, too, as there are at least two laugh-out-load moments.

The best thing I can say about this one is it definitely has the most energy of any of the films. There are no shots of campers just mindlessly wandering around. Something is happening in every frame of the film. No time is wasted in getting us to where we want to be. Jason is resurrected as a super strong killer zombie so the deaths scenes are a little more crazy though I think I prefer the style of the earlier films more. The script is sharp and the acting is better then expected too, as Thom Mathews, David Kagen, and Jennifer Cooke all give good performances. Alice Cooper contributes several original songs which is pretty much a perfect combination, if you ask me.

On the negative side, C. J. Graham is too tall and skinny to be a truly effective Jason and some of the humor is too “wink-wink” and is a bit distracting. Still, “Jason Lives!” is highly entertaining and one of the best film in the series. [Grade: B+]


7. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
A personal favorite of mine. Though you felt a little bit of it with the last film, this is the first time that the core concept was really experimented with. For the first time, Jason actually faces up against a worthy advisory. There are even times when you feel that the telekinetic Tina actually has the upper hand. This gives the film a freshness and creativity that distinguishes it from the others.Though the gore was heavily compromised by the MPAA, if you can get a hold of an uncut version, it is truly something to behold. The best non-Savini effects the series has seen. Fan-favorite Kane Hodder makes his premier behind the mask. Hodder has always been a solid Jason, though I think the character make-up is far more impressive then anything else. The director wanted to show all the damage Ol’ Hockey Head has suffered over the years. He looks great. A very fun addition to the franchise with a lot of action and the right amount of humor. [Grade: A-]


8. Friday the 13 Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
Continuing from Part 7 with it’s willingness to break the mold, “Jason Takes Manhattan” toys with the concept a bit by placing Jason in a different location.

Sadly, it just doesn’t work. First off, most people will point out that only the last act of the film actually takes place in Manhattan. Not too big of a grip for me since the writer/director has made it known that this was more due to budgetary restraints then anything else, but when a film doesn’t come through on its promise, it always hurts its grade some.

There are really two big problems here. First, it has some of the worst gore effects of the series. The gangsters getting needled and the impalement by radio antenna are decent but many of the deaths seem to be purposely courting the MPAA. In one scene, a guy gets his throat slashed and doesn’t even bleed. That doesn’t make any sense! Much of the effects are too fake looking. The blood looks too bright and corn-syrup-y and in an early scene, the intestine is obviously rubber tubing.The second biggest issue is how Jason is handled. One of the worst slasher film clichés is the teleporting killer, one who always manages to be in the right place to dispatch his victims, even if logic completely works against it. This cheap trick is used here and is laughably bad. In the last film, Kane Hodder was only shot from low angles which gave the illusion of Jason being a huge brute. None of that is employed here and Jason looks awfully small in several shots. And on top of all that, the unmasked make-up is pretty lousy. To add insult to injury, the film also features lousy acting, annoying characters, and goofy hallucinations on behalf of the Final Girl. Despite everything, the movie at least tries. You get the feeling that budgetary set-backs and a lack of foresight is what really hurt this film. With a little bit more money and a little bit more talent, it could’ve been half-way decent. But good intentions only amount to so much in the end. [Grade: D]

Series Report Card: Friday the 13th (1980-1984)

I'll be changing gears a little with this report card. Instead of reviewing all the major works from a certain director, I'll watch and review all of the entries in a movie series. This will also be my first multi-part report card. Enjoy!

1. Friday the 13th
One of the films responsible for starting up the slasher craze in the early eighties. But how good is it, really? Well, I enjoyed it but “Friday the 13th” is ultimately more notable for what it started then for what it actually is. The film is incredibly clichéd by this time as it seems seventy percent of the slasher films that came out afterward ripped it off. The revelation of the killer’s identity at the end will come as no surprise to in-the-know horror fans, but even if you didn’t know that going in, the ending isn’t exactly a big twist. There’s really no lead-up to it or any mystery.

Of course, to criticize this film for not having a great story seems a bit silly. Tom Savini’s gore is pretty good, though not quite as excellent as some of the other work he has done before and since. In particular, the first throat slitting is actually pretty startling in how it’s directed. Kevin Bacon’s death scene is definitely the best in the film. The final decapitation looks pretty fake, though.

If you watch the movie as a glossary of horror movie clichés, it does provide some entertainment beyond the gore. The performances are mostly flat though Betsey Palmer does have some fun with her part. Sean Cunningham’s direction is nothing to write home about really and the score is fairly derivative aside from the famous sound effects. The final jump scare is still effective, even after all these years. So, “Friday the 13th” is not a sterling masterpiece of the genre but it certainly does hold some enjoyment for fans of the series but its sequels would surpass it in quality and fun factor. [Grade: B-]


2. Friday the 13th Part 2
For the premier of a modern horror icon, “Friday the 13th Part 2” is pretty bland. I said how the first film felt derivative more because of what came after it then what came before, but Part 2 is actually even more derivative. It has been noted before by several other folks, that the two best death scenes in the film are actually swiped from Mario Bava’s “Twitch of the Death Nerve,” the original body count movie. Most of the rest of the proceedings feel pretty bland too as the rest of the gore is not all that impressive. Jason had not yet been developed as a character at this point so he doesn’t come off as a particularly interesting killer.

On the positive side, the opening scene is handled well enough and the final chase is at least more interesting then the film that proceeded it. If you are looking for a slasher fix and nothing else is available, this will do the job, but there are better things out there. [Grade: C]


3. Friday the 13th Part 3
Right from the grooving disco scored opening, I knew we were on better ground then we were last time. I would have loved to have seen this in 3-D as the novelty of that is completely lost on all legally available copies now. The death scenes are the best the series has had so far and Jason, preformed here by the imposing Richard Brooker, begins to develop into the big guy we all know and love. Getting his trademark hockey mask probably has something to do with this, too. Maybe it’s just because they seem to be evening out the camp feel the series has when it’s at its best, but I found the performances here more likable then in the past two films. The story is still pretty copy and paste by the series’ standards but you do at least feel the writers and directors were trying to spice things up a bit, especially with the motorcycle gang and some of the dark humor sprinkled throughout.

Or maybe it’s just because this is the first time you feel that the carnage is taking center stage instead of the characters that makes this more enjoyable. Whatever the reason, “Friday the 13th Part 3” is the first really solid entry in the franchise. [Grade: B]



4. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter
Certainly the best of the series. First off, this is the best written out of all the films. While the cast is still a bit too large to be fully developed, several of the characters do have enough quirks to stick out. Corey Feldman actually gives a pretty good performance as the overly excited and typically resourceful Tommy Jarvis, who would go on to become something of Jason’s nemesis. At the end of the film, you actually feel some pathos with his character. Crispin Glover is highly entertaining and he really puts his twitchy stamp on his character. Just watch the famous spaz dancing scene for further proof. Erich Anderson, though not much of an actor, does actually have a mildly interesting character and Kimberly Beck is a decent scream queen.

The sense of dark humor is even stronger here then in the last film. Director Joseph Zito, who previously made another excellent slasher, “The Prowler,” actually does bring some mood to the proceedings.

There are really two stars here though. First off, Tom Savini’s gore effects are outstanding. He’s allowed to be more creative here then in the first film and really goes nuts. Bone saws, corkscrews, harpoons, and farming equipment as well as the standards knives, axes, and machetes (of course) are all implemented in the destruction of the human body, and not always in the way you expected. Then there’s Jason, himself. I don’t care what anybody says, but Ted White is the best Jason ever. He’s hardcore, relentless, and unforgiving but still injects the character with the creativity and child-like awe we associate with him. Even though it wouldn’t be the end of the franchise, this entry would certainly serve its purpose as an excellent swan song. [Grade: A]

Director Report Card: Fred Dekker (1986-1993)

1. Night of the Creeps
“Night of the Creeps” is one of the best, as far as obscure-o eighties horror goes. The film crosses a wide selection of subgenres. We start off with pure sci-fi, head into some retro fifties footage, before finding ourselves in an eighties buddy comedy. We get some minor slasher elements before exploding into the zombie infested finale. The tone never falters and the only people who won’t go along for the ride are stuck up ass wipes.

An important reason this one endures despite the lack of availability is the strong characterization and acting. Jason Lively is a little low-key in the lead but he ultimately invokes Chris with a wide-range of impressive emotions. Steve Marshall brings just the right mix of smart-alec and pathos to J.C., the best friend most of us wish we had. It’s the relationship between the two that gives the movie its heart. It’s a very real friendship, two misfits finding someone they can count on in each other, and something a lot of people can relate too. Jill Whitlow’s Cindy Cronenberg is sweet but tough too and far more assertive then most eighties scream queens. Of course, it’s Tom Atkins that steals the show. His Detective Cameron ranks right up there with Bruce Campbell’s Ash as a great horror bad ass. While the character is a fine hero, its his insecurities that really make him human; his suicide attempt, the flashbacks, the numerous mystery penny novels strewn around his apartment that seem to suggest his tough guy persona is just a put-on. It’s without a doubt the best performance in the much under-appreciated Atkin’s long line of character roles.In addition to the great script, Fred Dekker does a solid job as a first-time director, handling the action and gore moments like an expert. The music, a mix of low synth score and fifties pop, adds to the mood. There’s a widely YouTubed alternate ending that wound up on the cutting room floor in favor of a more conventional ending. While the other is kind of sudden, I find the original conclusion maybe wraps things up too neatly.

The wide selection of in-jokes is another reason for “Creeps” popularity among fans. Most of the characters are named after famous directors. (Hell, even the cat is.) The whole premise is sort of a modern spin on “Plan 9 from Outer Space,” which is referenced and featured. There’s even a brief shout-out to Dekker’s next classic, “The Monster Squad” by way of some bathroom graffiti. The Little Rascals are referenced throughout too, which is funny considering “Monster Squad” was originally conceived as “The Little Rascals vs. The Universal Monsters.” The movie continues to influence fans, since it long predates many of the in-joke filled horror comedies of today and was a direct inspiration for James Gunn’s “Slither.”

Basically, if you love eighties’ horror movies and get a chance to see “Night of the Creeps” through one of its occasional cable showings, watch it! It’s an underrated classic! [Grade: A]


2. The Monster Squad
People love “The Monster Squad.” Many young horror fans in the eighties were just the right age when it came out on video. It appeals to that young sensibility on several levels.

First off, most importantly, the cast of kids are all vivid, realistically created. Most of the fans were these kids growing up. The acting is very strong from all of the young boys, though the best are Andre Gower as the leader Sean and Ryan Lambert as the cool kid Rudy. My favorite, however, is the sadly deceased Brent Chalem as Horace AKA Fat Kid whom is actually the funniest of the group. And the kids are realistically portrayed, right down to some of the homophobic dialogue. Hey, it might be ugly, but ten year old boys talk like that.

The monster designs, courtesy of effects giant Stan Winston, are awesome reinvention of the classic concepts, just different enough to be unique but still recognizable. The Gill-man looks the best even if the suit is a bit stiff. The actors in the parts are pretty good, too. Tom Noonan is a fantastic Frankenstein’s monster, Jon Gries does the reluctant werewolf bit well, and Duncan Regehr plays Dracula like the bad guy in an eighties action movie which is surprisingly effective. The rest of the supporting cast is solid too. Ashley Bank is excellent considering her age, Leonardo Cimino never overdoes it as the Scary German Guy, and Stephen Macht is very good as the conflicted cop father.The central concept is one of the reasons the film resonates with the young and the young at heart. Its kids, kids like you and me, getting together and kicking some monster ass, and not just any monster ass, but the asses of the classic Universal monsters! What’s not to love? More memorable then anything else is the dialogue, which is highly quoted even today. “Wolf Man’s got nards!” is just the most famous of many, many great, hilarious lines.

On the down side, not all the special effects work. Some of the animatronics are a little awkward and none of the vortex effects work at all. We really could have done without the eighties pop soundtrack. Though sweet, the subplot about Phoebe and the Frankenstein’s monster feels a little overly sincere. Flaws aside, “The Monster Squad” is a classic, a fan favorite, and just so irresistibly likable. Anybody who remembers how exciting being a kid was should love this. [Grade: A-]


3. RoboCop 3
Only so much of “Robocop 3” can be blamed on Fred Dekker. In all actually, he did the best he could, given the circumstances. His strength for comedy comes out in a handful of funny scenes (but it’s not the kind of biting satire of the first) and we at least get one likable new character.

The film’s two biggest mistakes aren’t even his fault. Peter Weller’s absence is felt so strongly. Robert Burke does an okay job, I suppose, and he gets the body language right if nothing else. But he doesn’t have the depth Weller did and it just seems wrong to hear somebody else’s voice coming out of Robo’s mouth.

Then there’s the studio meddling. The second film suffered from it too but still managed to turn out okay. (Just okay.) Here, however, it really got out of control. First, almost all the violence, grit, and social satire, all crucial parts to the series’ success, are cut out because media watchdog groups apparently thought this R-rated franchise was for kids. I feel the muddled, awkwardly paced story, though credited to the director and comic superstar Frank Miller, can probably be laid at the interfering producers’ feet as well. Some of the retarded plot decisions that can be boiled down to small words include “jetpack,” “ninjas” or “cute kid sidekick with computer hacking skills.” Seriously. If Dekker is at fault for anything, it’s the underwhelming, guns-go-off-and-people-fall-down, action sequences.I’ll give the movie some points. There’s some talent in the cast, like a young Jill Hennessy, Rip Torn and Mako. (Both of which are underused.) Nancy Allen seems pretty depressed to be here, though. The music is good and there is a seed of a good idea somewhere. All things considered, this is a pretty sad way for the franchise to go out. And it’s also a depressing note to end Fred Dekker’s directorial career on. [Grade: D]

Director Report Card: Trent Harris (1991-2000)

1. Rubin and Ed
A buddy comedy like only Trent Harris could (or would) do it. What make this movie so endlessly entertaining are its characters. Crispin Glover, one of my favorite actors, gives his greatest performance. As Rubin Farr, a person who might actually exist though I don’t think anybody but Crispin and Rubin really knows for sure, he reaches a pinnacle of weirdness. Mr. Farr seems to be a person with a history, no matter how bizarre, but he seems real. Howard Hesseman as Ed acts like he’s doing fine but is actually constantly on the edge of a nervous breakdown. He’s someone who is trying to keep his life in order. When the two personalities come together, the result is awesome. Comical flashbacks, hilariously weird dialogue, and an endless interaction between two highly interesting peoples.
But as the movie goes on, we get more then just weirdly wonderful comedy. As Rubin cries over his beloved dead cat, it’s actually a great moment. We completely, totally understand him. As Ed reaches his nervous breakdown, as he completely snaps back at his ex-wife, played by the one and only Karen Black, we get it. We believe all of it. At the end, when the two totally different people realize how similar they are and how close they have actually become, as they walk away into a dark alleyway appropriately as opposed to the sunset, you can’t help but smile. Man, how can you not love this movie? [Grade: A]


2. Plan 10 from Outer Space
Mormons, bees, motorcycles, alien sex cults. What the hell to make of this? Typical Trent Harris, of course. Lacks the weird emotional resonance of “Rubin and Ed” but makes up for it with just how wonderfully hilarious so much of it is. The movie certainly isn’t predictable. Just when you think you have the strange non-plot about sex crazed Mormons from outer space and the horrible, horrible Secret of the Bees figured out, the film goes in a completely different direction. Hell, there’s even a musical number!
Stefane Loren is quite good in the lead. I’d compare her to Alyson Hanningan with her girl next door cuteness and easy accessibility. Karen Black is the only name in the cast as the rest of the characters appear to be played by this quirky director’s quirky friends. Harris is a native Utah-ian and seems to show a real affection for the history of his home state while at the same time he has the foresight to step back and analyze. Much like the director’s first film, this has an ending that is obviously meant to complete the film on an emotional level more so then on a story level. And I’d say that’s probably a better idea. A satire of religion, sexual politics, conformity, and sci-fi b-movies, “Plan 10 from Outer Space” is highly entertaining and totally unique. [Grade: A]


3. The Beaver Trilogy
Actually filmed over a period of many years, “The Beaver Trilogy” is three different films edited together without any set-up or transition. The first is a documentary about the kind of character that can only exist in small towns. Gary Haft is a young man who likes to perform impressions. Trent meets him by chance in a parking lot. Gary longs for the camera’s attention and it’s impossible to take your eye off him. As he shows off his car, rambling on, obviously trying to make this moment last, immediately you feel some kind of connection to him. His favorite celebrity to impersonate is Oliver Newton John. In full, all singing all dancing, drag. Gary’s dream is to get on television and he seems to have that dream fulfilled as Trent Harris, then a cameraman for a local news program, agrees to record a local talent show Gary has pulled together. We watch this young man get done up in costume by the local mortician, the only person in town who can do make-up, we laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. But later, when he goes on stage and sings his song, not well mind you, but with more heart then you get out of any rock star, you are strangely impressed. It’s sort of beautiful. Maybe it’s just because you feel that his dream is finally being fulfilled or maybe it’s because he got up there and did it and didn’t worry about feeling silly. The film more or less ends there.
But, wait, no it doesn’t. The events we have just witnesses are restaged and re-performed in front of us, not once, but twice. The second time, Sean Penn plays Grooving Gary and the story has been slightly fictionalized. Penn’s performance is a dead-on imitation of the real thing. This version has an actual ending that is both sad and happy. The story gets even more fictionalized as the film folds into itself for a third time. The now renamed Grooving Larry transforms into Crispin Glover and is given a back story as the events are told from his perspective. The shooting is on a much higher film stock and shows off some interesting visual flair. The ending has been changed again and becomes more uplifting. But the story remains the same. I’m not sure what it all means but I do know that “The Beaver Trilogy” is poignant, funny, and totally unique. [Grade: A]

Director Report Card: Clive Barker (1987-1995)

1. Hellraiser
One of the most creative horror movies of the eighties. With the cenobites, Clive Barker created a series of unique villains and the mythology behind them and the puzzle box are even more fascinating. The fact that they aren’t even the main focus of the film shows how strongly they are pulled off on screen. Barker really planted a route for something ingenious here that, sadly, has only been explored on any level by one of this film’s numerous sequels.

The Frank story is creepily executed and escalates quite nicely. The story is just very tightly plotted and I like how it builds to its climax. Sadly, said climax is lacking something. It seems to be going for a “Shining” level freak-out but it feels a bit tacked on. That’s the only main problem with the film. All in all, “Hellraiser” is a great, original horror film. [Grade: A]



2. Nightbreed
Starts off interesting enough, with a very well directed opening horror sequence that doesn’t really give you a good impression of what’s to come. The great director David Cronenberg acts in this, playing a psychotic psychiatrist determine to cut down on the excess population. He’s actually really good and is easily the best part of the film. A whole movie devoted to his Dr. Decker character would have been great, but he’s really only the villain of the piece.
The majority of the film is a very Clive Barker like horror-fantasy, dealing with a newcomer being initiated into a magical world of monsters. This half of the film is quite good. The build-up to this pay-off is handled nicely and when we actually get there, we are presented with a very interesting fantasy world. However, in the last act the local racist police invade the world and the film takes a very sudden mood shift. Suddenly it seems like they’re going for an action movie route. It doesn’t work and the last half-hour feels rushed and messy. The whole “us against them” angle is also hammered home a bit too much. The ending feels like it’s setting up a franchise, which obviously didn’t happen, which is a shame because I think a sequel could have helped ironed out some of the kinks in the formula. However, as it stands now, “Nightbreed” is a highly interesting fantasy/horror film that isn’t quite as good as it could have been. [Grade: B-]


3. Lord of Illusions
“Lord of Illusions” has a lot of interesting ideas within it. However, the film seems to exist more to showcase these ideas then to tell a story containing them. Weak pacing is definitely the biggest problem here. There is so much build-up to the conclusion. Build-up actually comprises most of the movie. We get neat tidbits of the bigger picture that are rather tantalizing but when said bigger picture is revealed, it’s rather ordinary, normal genre stuff. By the time we get to the finale, we feel a little let-down. There are also too many unanswered questions. Why did Nix attract so many followers in the first place? Why was he brought back when he was and how did his followers know? There’s a lot of discussion about illusion, magic, and what reality really is. However, these themes are left mostly unexplored. The opening sequence is too long and confusing. The conclusion is over too soon and feels rushed.
Scott Bakula is a good actor and does okay in the lead but he never seems to really get a feel for the material. Kevin J. Conner seems half-asleep. The rest of the cast is pretty unnoteworthy.

Stepping away from these problems, there are some positive details. Though Clive Barker does throw in some annoying rock video shots, his direction is still quite good with some interesting camera angles. I usually don’t pay that much attention to it but I thought the set design was really something else. The music is solid too. The CGI hasn’t aged well but the practical effects are above average. The first quarter is a set-up for a good mystery. There are actually a lot of really cool scenes and concepts here, such as the magic trick going wrong or Nix’s containment mask, but the story that holds it together should have been stronger. [Grade: B-]

Director Report Cards Rules

The main project I'll display here are my Director's Report Cards. The goal here is sit down and watch all of a director's films or all the entries in a series, write a short-ish reviews for each film, and then give them a letter grade.

Of course, some directors have directed a lot of things: commercials, TV shows, short films, music videos, etc. Because I'm lazy, I'm excluding all of those before mentioned items. (I'll occasionally make an exception for short films.) Uncredited work will also be excluded. The focus is definitely on features.

TV movies are tricky. Their reviews depend solely on availability. In other words, I'm not willing to pay one-hundred dollars for a used VHS copy of John Carpenter's "Elvis" just for completest sake. I'll try and include television pilots that are over an hour since I consider them TV movies.

If this project interest you at all, I'll direct you to http/kernunrex.blogspot.com/ who more or less inspired me to do this.

Expect the first report card to show up soon.