Christmas 2021: December 8th

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Jack Frost

Christmas traditions are so ingrained in modern American culture. From the moment kids are old enough to know, they are introduced to Santa Claus. Even if you don't put up a tree or decorate with lights, you probably exchange gifts with someone. Yet, despite what certain people in our society would want us to think, America did not invent Christmas. The holiday and its traditions have permuted around the globe in all sorts of interesting ways. For one example: The Russian equivalent of Santa Claus is called Ded Moroz or Morozko, which roughly translate as Father Frost. (And shares some similarities with the English legendary figure Jack Frost.) Father Frost is the figure of many Russian stories and fairy tales. In 1964, one of those stories would be adapted by Soviet filmmaker Alexander Rou into a feature film. And thirty-three years after that, an English dubbed version of the film would be mocked on “Mystery Science Theater 3000.” This episode would quickly become a fan favorite.

“Jack Frost” concerns Nastya, a beautiful young maiden. Nastya's wicked stepmother abuses her and heaps praises on her own daughter. While out doing another tedious chore in the woods, Nastya encounters Ivan. Ivan is a super-strong but haughty young man and he immediately falls in love with her. After being turned into a bear by a mushroom fairy, and subsequently turned back after he learns to be more kind-hearted, Ivan goes in-search of Nastya. By then, her cruel stepmother has left her to freeze to death in the woods. She's rescued by Father Frost but is turned to ice after touching his scepter. Ivan arrives just in time to rescue her. Along the way, he runs afoul of a band of thieves and Baba Yaga, the infamous witch of Russian lore.

Some things were definitely lost in translation, and the goofy English dub does the movie no favors, but it's fair to say that “Jack Frost” is a movie that contains many unusual sights. The set designs and costumes are actually quite good. The special effects and photography, however, have many quirky touches. Ivan turning into a bear happens in a hilariously sudden manner. Baba Yaga summons a horde of murderous tree monsters to attack Ivan, who leap through the air in an amusingly awkward manner. That wonderfully artificial quality reappears when the old witch flies through the air on her mortar and pestle. Even this is not the strangest sight in the movie, which belongs to a pig being transformed into a living sled. Crude effects, like the film being sped up or run backwards whenever Father Frost does something magical, look fake as hell but are unquestionably charming. 

If you doubt all those bizarre sights – plus Russian Santa Claus – can be combined into a coherent narrative, you'd be right. Yet there's actually a reason why “Jack Frost's” plot is such a tangled web of weirdo events. The film actually combines a number of different myths and stories into one plot. Only the plot thread of an old woman with a beautiful stepdaughter and an ugly daughter, who are left in the snowy forest and encounter Father Frost, is from the titular tale. Ivan's encounter with Baba Yaga in her chicken hut, where he tricks her into falling into her own oven, is from another story. You might not be surprised to hear that heroes named “Ivan” are a commonly reoccurring element in Russian fairy tales. Men turning into bears and little mushroom guys are as well. “Jack Frost” can't weave all these ideas into a decent paced story but, as a student of folklore, it's fascinating none the less. 

A movie as goofy and weird as “Jack Frost” certainly provides ideal material for “Mystery Science Theater 3000.” This is a really funny episode, full of a number of memorable riffs. Mike and the bots seem to especially delight in giving voice to the film's many animals, having them comment on the events in absurd ways. The bots typically react to the film's absurd events with dry quips and pop culture references. Their line about how Nastya's choice in men are always either “gay or bears” always gets a bit laugh out of me. The host segments are amusing as well. There's a great bit where Mike ends up acting as an improvised therapist for Brain Guy and Professor Bobo. I appreciate a winding dissertation on Russian pop culture and deadpan reactions to Crow becoming a bear and Servo becoming a cute girl. Gags about Riverdance or Yanko Smirnoff are dated as can be but still made me chuckle. 

The “MST3k” version of “Jack Frost” is probably a little more tolerable than its original form. From what I've read, most of the songs in the original Russian version were cut out of the Sci-Fi Channel broadcast. Considering the movie, in this form, already has some pacing problems, I can't imagine some songs would help. (What songs are left are still in Russian, for whatever reason.) Still, even without Mike and the Bots, “Jack Frost” would be an absurd and fascinating peek into another culture's winter tradition. With them, it becomes a frequently hilarious 100 minutes of weirdo television. [7/10]

The Twilight Zone: Five Characters in Search of an Exit

Quite a few years back, I reviewed “The Night of the Meek,” traditionally thought of as the Christmas episode of “The Twilight Zone.” Yet there is another holiday-themed episode of Rod Serling's iconic anthology series, albeit on the more marginal side of December. The general plot of “Five Characters in Search of an Exit” is summarized in its title but to go into more detail: An army general awakens in a nondescript room. A clown, a ballerina, a bagpipe player, and a hobo also reside in the room. Seemingly the only way out is above, the walls opening up as they stretch towards the sky. None of them have any idea who they are or how they got here. The general still feels compelled to find a way out, as all five of them attempt to figure out what is going on.

“Five Characters in Search of an Exit” represents “The Twilight Zone” at its most existential. Sartre's “No Exit” was certainly an influence and our five characters, soon enough, suspect they are in Hell. In fact, in its first few minutes, the characters cycled through half-a-dozen possible explanations for their situation. Are they dead, in a dream, or part of some sort of experiment? I think philosophy majors could look at this half-hour and come up with a hundred different readings. By acknowledging that this entire scenario is open to interpretation, “Five Characters” becomes an absurdist nightmare that draws attention to its own absurdity. The episode presents a weird, hopeless situation and invites the viewer to think up their own explanations and deeper meanings.   

All five characters are dressed in instantly recognizable costumes, bringing with them specific roles and traits. The general is determined to find answers and a way out. He repeatedly tries practical solutions to this surreal problem. The clown continues to perform ridiculous stunts and tell jokes, no matter how inappropriate it might be. The ballerina is fragile and soft-spoken, the hobo is happy to sit back and not do anything, and the bagpiper is resolved to play his bagpipe. These characters are all archetypes, forced to play a role that has been assigned to them by someone else. This also makes the episode a potent metaphor for how authors write their characters or fate itself.

If you're reading this, you probably already know the episode's twist ending. It's what provides “Five Characters in Search of an Exit” its dollop of holiday content: The characters are dolls in a donation bin for a Christmas charity. The deafening banging noise the quintet hear is the result of the near-by bell ringer. It plays like an ironic punchline to a meandering joke. Or the sting of the sun shining in your eyes as waking. Yet Rod Serling's teleplay even finds pathos in this unlikely reveal, zeroing in on the tears running down the ballerina's face. Because as helpless and meaningless as their circumstance seemed, all five characters will find their purpose in a child's arms. And what could be more Christmas-y then that? And now you can even buy action figures based on this episode, bringing the cosmic joke of that reveal full circle. [8/10]