Last of the Monster Kids

Last of the Monster Kids
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Tuesday, September 28, 2021

Halloween 2021: September 28th



“Friday the 13th: A New Beginning” still opened in first place at the box office but it dropped off steeply in its second weekend, ultimately grossing eleven million less than the previous installment. (Which was still a substantial profit against its 2.2 million dollar budget.) While there are a number of explanations for this – the perceived quality of the movie, people annoyed that part four wasn't really the final chapter, the general decline of the slasher genre – Paramount execs zeroed in on one complaint: The lack of the real Jason Voorhees. The studio made sure audiences knew that the next “Friday the 13th” definitely had Jason in it. The subtitle announced his return and the entire trailer was built around this resurrection. The resulting film remains a fan favorite and is widely considered one of the best in the series.

The director hired to revive the Hockey Masked One was Tom McLaughlin, previously of clever zombie flick “One Dark Night.” McLaughlin has admitted to not really being a fan of the slasher genre. He also figured, after five movies, the series had slipped into self-parody anyway. For these reasons and more, McLaughlin decided playing “Jason Lives!” for laughs was the best approach. The humor often leans on the fourth wall. Characters, once or twice, reference being in a horror movie. A caretaker asks what kind of sickos enjoy this stuff like while looking directly into the camera. A scene is cut in such a way that it appears children are calling someone a fart head. There's even a little bit of social commentary, when a group of businessmen on a paintball trip – including an aggravated, macho type – are incensed that a woman is allowed to play among them. They all wear bandannas with the word “Dead' right before Jason strikes them down. 

The goofy humor goes hand-in-hand with “Jason Lives!” embracing the improbable. Jason Voorhees is resurrected via lightning bolt, in one of several nods to Universal's “Frankenstein” films. This turns him into a super-strong zombie that can do pretty much anything. He lobs off three heads at once. He shoves a girl into a wall, perfectly imprinting her face into the metal. Jason performs other impossible feats like bending a man in half, effortlessly ripping out Horshack's heart, and triumphantly emerging from a wrecked RV. The movie acknowledges Jason's superhero-like standing among fans by slotting the killer into a riff on the James Bond gun barrel sequence early on. It's an amusing choice. Turning Jason into a zombified super-slasher is such a natural decision for the series that I'm shocked it didn't happen until part six. 

As much humor and exaggerated scenarios are in “Jason Lives!,” what really makes the movie work is that McLaughlin and his team take the titular murderer totally seriously. C.J. Grahams, a 6”2 former marine, brings a Terminator-like intensity to the role of Jason. His stiff posture suggests an unmovable object and he is properly intimidating. The movie also respects the mythic quality of its iconic villain. There is a quiet, contemplative scene where Jason's legend is recounted. Tommy Jarvis' master plan to defeat Jason involves returning him to the place he originally “died:” Under the waters of Crystal Lake. There's an intuitive, mythic quality to that method of defeat which I really like. Jason is a legend, both inside and outside the movie, and it's nice to see the film acknowledge that.

Precisely because “Jason Lives!” takes the hockey masked maniac so seriously – even allowing him to be something of a comedic straight man, who doesn't know his own strength – it even generates some actual suspense. Raising the stakes considerably is that the camp actually has children in it now. There are actual, terrified and vulnerable kids around as Jason is knocking off the councilors. One of the movie's best moment has Jason stomping into the campers' cabin as they sleep, hovering over a terrified little girl's face. By investing a degree of actual suspense into the story, it makes Jason and Tommy Jarvis' final battle on the burning lake tenser than it otherwise would've been. 

The truth is “Jason Lives!” is stronger than other “Fridays” because we actually care about some of the characters. Tommy, now played by “Return of the Living Dead's” Thom Matthews, is obsessed with Jason. But he's also a normal young man, who reacts with surprised delight when an attractive girl pushes his face into her crotch. Said girl, the rebellious sheriff's daughter, is played by a capable Jennifer Cooke. The chemistry she shares with Matthews powers an otherwise implausible romance. Other likable characters include Sissy, an upbeat and personable councilor, and Cort, a lovably doofy himbo. You're actually sad to see some of these guys go. Even the drunken gravedigger is kind of fun to hang around with!

“Jason Lives!” is not just about slaughter. In fact, most of its graphic gore was heavily trimmed by the rating's board. This neutered otherwise cool effects like the aforementioned triple decapitation. It's got humor and a little bit of heart and also some really nice cinematography. McLaughlin claims gothic horror as an influence and you can see that in the film's images. Such as the iconic shot of Jason putting his hockey mask back on and turning towards the camera. Or an equally lovely first-person perspective sequence of the maniac shoving a spear through a windshield. The night's are beautifully blue-black here, lending the entire film a – dare I say? – classy feeling. If nothing else, “Jason Lives!” is definitely the best looking “Friday the 13th” movie.

Perfectly accompanying the film's self-aware sense of humor is several songs from hair-metal era Alice Cooper. Cooper's own tongue-in-cheek mixture of cartoonish gore and classic horror tropes makes him a perfect match with “Friday the 13th .” Injecting a little humor and some slick visuals into “Friday the 13th” did earn “Jason Lives!” some of the franchise's best reviews. (Though the movie still holds only a 46% on Rotten Tomatoes.) It's also widely beloved by the fanbase, with the film usually residing in the top half of any fan's personal ranking of the films. I think I prefer the harder edged thrills of part four or the decidedly un-self-aware camp of part three. But there's no denying “Jason Lives!” is a lot of fun. [7/10]




I will always associate John Carradine with horror films, even though he worked across many genres over the course of his sixty year, 354-credit career. He's probably just as associated with his many western roles as his monster movies. Even working in horror movies, it was rarely in starring roles. Dracula was but one of the headlining monsters in Universal's “House of” movies. He might have gotten prominent billing in the various low-budget schlock shockers he did late in his career but was almost never the star. Among Carradine's few, macabre leading roles is 1944's “Bluebeard.” The actor himself would single this low budget production – made by the notoriously thrifty Producers Releasing Corporation and shot in all of six days – as one of his favorite roles.

Sometime in the early 1900s, the streets of Paris are haunted by a killer. As more bodies of young women are fished out of the Seine, the papers have dubbed him “Bluebeard.” Dressmaker Lucille is cautious of the murderer but is still charmed by Gaston Morrell, who performs popular puppet operas in the park. The two are smitten with each other and he hires her to make some clothes for his puppets... But Morell is actually Bluebeard. Also a popular painter, he murders his models after doing their portraits. When one of his paintings is recognized as Bluebeard's latest victim, the police begin to circle in on Morell. What will become of Lucille when she discovers her new boyfriend's murderous habits?

“Bluebeard” was directed by Edgar G. Ulmer. Back in 1934, he made “The Black Cat,” one of the greatest horror films of a decade that had no shortage of great horror movies. By the forties, Ulmer had been ejected from the studio system and was making low-budget quickies for PRC. Even in this environment, Ulmer could be counted on to produce some striking visuals. Long stretches of “Bluebeard” aren't much to look at but the film occasionally throws in a memorable sight. Such as Notre Dame looming behind Carradine through a window, the famous cathedral looking like sketchy lines. A shot of Carradine brooding in his studio, the shadows of his puppets over top him, is also pretty cool. The film gets more visually expressionistic as it goes on, especially the climatic rooftop foot chase. (Though the overly dark, scratchy public domain copy I watched makes it hard to appreciate that.)

“Bluebeard” is also interesting for being an early serial killer movie. We know from early on that Gaston is the infamous Bluebeard, as we see him strangle his girlfriend after growing attracted to Lucille. It seems portrait painting triggers his murderous streak but he attempts to quit the killing lifestyle for her. Yes, this is a surprisingly sympathetic portrayal of a deranged killer. There's even an extended flashback sequence of him explaining his compulsion, which are rooted in a romantic rejection by his first muse. Hence why portrait painting sets him off. Carradine stares insanely while strangling his victims, the camera lingering on his deranged eyes. Yet his performance is mostly soft-spoken and frustrated, with moments of desperation. It's not the portrayal of a mad strangler you'd expect in 1944.

“Bluebeard” has a lot of obvious strengths but it still feels like the cheap programmer it ostensibly is. The police investigation element of the film is wholly uninvolving. Since we already know who the killer is, there's no intrigue involved in the investigator. Scenes devoted to determining whether the girl in the portrait was one of Bluebeard's victims drag on. A moment wherein a former model is questioned in court, to farcical results, feels especially meandering. The guy they have playing the detective, Nils Asther, is deeply uninteresting. A subplot about Gaston's art agent being aware of his hobby also feels largely unnecessary. I guess what I'm saying is “Bluebeard” is quite interesting, even bold for its time, when its a grim horror/drama about a man compelled to kill. When functioning as a more traditional detective story, it degrades into tedium. 

After this film, Edger G. Ulmer would make “Detour” for PRC, a subversive film-noir masterpiece that easily overcomes its low budget roots. You can't quite say the same thing for “Bluebeard.” The novelty of a movie that attempts to probe the mind of a compulsive killer, made way back in the forties, certainly goes a long way. Ulmer's direction is stylish and Carradine is excellent. Yet the movie is not able to overcome its status as a routine programmer, with a little too much puppet opera in it, made to fill the bottom half of a double bill somewhere.  Still, it wouldn't surprise me if this one gets re-evaluated someday, probably after it gets probably cleaned up and restored by a boutique DVD label or something. Most of the public domain releases out there look pretty lousy. [6/10]



One Step Beyond: If You See Sally

Last September, I watched an episode of “One Step Beyond” – the first American anthology series to claim its tales of the uncanny were based on true stories – and it was pretty good. So here's another one. “If You See Sally,” from the series' 1960 season,  concerns an older married couple living in the American south. Their youngest child, Paul, recently died in a boating accident. The father, in his grief, blames their teenage daughter Sally for the death. She runs away from home and tells her mom to put an ad in the newspaper, telling her to come home, whenever her father forgives her. Five days later, she reads that ad. Leaving work, she catches a ride home with a long-haul trucker. A storm breaks out and the truck crashes but Sally pulls herself from the wreck. That's when, bleeding and dizzy, she hitches a ride with another driver. This man's life is about to change forever.

From the beginning, I assumed “One Step Beyond” based its stories less on quote-unquote “true” accounts of the paranormal and more often on urban legends. This is obviously the case with “If You See Sally.” From its opening minutes, I correctly guessed the episode was an adaptation on the world famous “Vanishing Hitchhiker” legend. Yet, as far as variations on a familiar story goes, this is a decent one. Specifically setting the story in the American south adds some folksy charm to the rendition. The opening scene, of the father forcing the daughter out, is fittingly poignant. So is the idea of him finally forgiving her and asking her to come back home. The final scene, when the familiar twist in this oft-told tale arrives, proves touching without being sappy. This is definitely a supernatural story that veers more towards the heart-touching than the creepy but I still liked it. It's a shame that the copies of “One Step Beyond's” episodes floating around online are of such poor quality. This show needs a proper restoration. [7/10]



Godzilla Singular Point: Graftage

“Graftage” begins with the JSDF ready to face off with Godzilla. The kaiju fires his atomic breath at the ground, incinerating a large chunk of the city... And is then encased in a giant cocoon and doesn't do anything for the rest of the episode. Meanwhile, the Red Mist spreads across the ocean to England. Professor Li takes Mei to a massive library full of nothing but Aishihara's notes, with the hope that she'll be the first person to decipher them. In Japan, team Jet Jaguar investigate a Manda that has mysteriously died on a beach. This leads them to what appears to be an enormous spider's nest. That's when a brood of giant spiders – known as Kumongas – attack them. 

I'm officially annoyed by “Singular Point's” obnoxious habit of teasing something cool happening and then immediately pulling back. I think over these first eight episodes, we've gotten exactly two minutes of Godzilla doing anything. This habit has officially begun to feel like trolling. Here, we get a genuinely impressive sequence of Godzilla firing his atomic breath that then takes him out of commission for God knows how much longer. At least the sequence with the Kumongas is kind of fine. Watching Jet Jaguar slice away at the giant spiders is entertaining and you feel like the characters are genuinely in danger here. While I've generally liked “Singular Point's” redesigns of the famous kaiju, I'm not crazy about its take on Kumonga. It looks more like a crustacean than a spider, enough so that I thought it might be Ebirah at first. 

And what does “Singular Point” occupy itself with when not handing out quick bites of monster mayhem? Yet more technobabble, of course! In this episode, Mei becomes convinced Aisihara predicted some sort of super calculator that could predict the future. Or something, I'm not quite following it. There's yet more discussion about the properties of the Archetype molecule, this time involving minor supporting characters whose names I'm not bothering to learn. There's even a random stop-off at the post office! I swear to god, this show has its priorities all fucked up. I did like the scene where Jet Jaguar, now inhabited by one of Yun's A.I.s, plays games with some kids on the sidewalk. That was cute. Definitely the highlight of another frustrating episode of this frustrating series. [5/10]

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