CON REPORT: Monster-Mania 47

I was definitely a little reluctant to return to Monster-Mania this year, when a pandemic is still on-going. This was clearly not a concern for everyone else, as Monster-Mania 47 is probably the busiest I've ever seen this convention. The hallways were so crowded at times on Saturday afternoon, I could barely move. I guess people were eager to get back to the convention scene after over a year away. I'd say more people than not were masked today but there were a number of exposed faces. (Especially Friday night.)  Yet I'm still going to agonize about breakthrough cases for a few weeks. That's just my neurotic personality.

This was far from the only weirdness this weekend. I won't go into too much specifics but check-in Friday was a fiasco. There were some issues with JD and I's rooms. I don't know if this is all because of COVID regulations but it seems to me that the quality of the hotel services have declined some since it went from being the Hunt Valley Inn to a Delta Merriot. 

Not to mention, Friday afternoon while still loitering around the hotel while they got our rooms ready, we witnessed an old man fall to the concrete, splitting a huge gash on his forehead. Me and several other people did what we could to tend to this clearly disoriented fellow, before some hotel employees arrived. Definitely unexpected to see so much blood before the horror convention actually started! In-between the frustration with checking-in and seeing someone injury themselves so seriously, I pretty much remember nothing between that and standing in line for Joe Bob Briggs.

Anyway, despite all that, Monster-Mania 47 itself was a great convention. The first guest I actually saw was Alex Winter. I just had to tell him how much I love "Freaked" and "Death Wish 3." How "Bill and Ted" was one of the films JD and I bonded over when we first met, way back in the seventh grade. I also asked about what happened to the remake of "The Gate" he was attached to direct ten years ago or so. He said it fell apart for the reasons these things usually do: Money. Alex definitely seemed pretty chill.

Joe Bob Briggs and Darcy the Mail  Girl happened to arrive at their table just a few minutes later, so we immediately got in line. JBB is clearly someone who takes his time with each person at his table, which I definitely respect. When I got to the table, I asked him – as the drive-in movie expert – his recommendations for the best exploitation movie made or set in my home state of West Virginia. He first mentioned Mothman before Darcy brought up the "Wrong Turn" series, which she apparently loves. (I had to tell her that it really does make my day when she gives me a retweet or fave during the Last Drive-In live-tweets, which she said was "sweet.") Joe Bob then mentioned "The Barn," which is apparently made by a filmmaker stationed out of Wheeling. Coincidentally, this filmmaker also had a table here at Monster-Mania, selling his own films! Anyway, it was a really nice interaction. Clearly, these two value the experience of meeting fans a lot.

The last signature I sprung for Friday night was Richard Dreyfuss. At first, I wasn't sure if I was going to make that purchase, as his asking price was a bit expensive but I decided to go through with it. "Jaws" is a pretty big movie for me, after all. And since I figured most of the questions he'd get this weekend we're about "Jaws" or "Close Encounters," I asked him about his method behind playing Dick Cheney in "W." Dreyfuss explained that all he really had to do to get into character was scowl. His handler then recommended a film where he played Bernie Madoff, which does sound pretty interesting. Anyway, I can now say I had a conversation with an Oscar winner.

As always, the dealers room at Monster-Mania is a big attraction. This year had a pretty interesting selection, a mixture of the DVDs, toys, and shirts you expect but also some quirkier stuff. Here's just the rundown of the coolest shit I got this weekend:

From the good folks at Vinegar Syndrome, I picked up the Blu-Rays of "Silent Madness" and "WNUF Halloween Special." (The latter of which had a bad-ass, VHS box style slipcase.) I then mossied over to the Severin table and got the new 4K box set of "Santa Sangre." Finally, I had to make my yearly visit to the VHSPS booth. I purchased "Meet the Applegates," which may be the subject of an upcoming Director Report Card essay.

On the toy front, I picked up the Morlock and Crate Monster figures from the Amok Time booth. I also grabbed a loose Dr. Caligari Silent Screamers figure, which is one I've been looking for a couple of years now.

One of my favorite purchases I've ever made at Monster-Mania is a pennant depicting David Bowie's different personas as Halloween costumes. The good people at Big Purple Glasses/M. Lineham returned this year. I picked up a shirt depicting Bowie's Halloween Jack persona leaping from a Jack-o'-lantern, in the same style as the aforementioned banner. I also got a second banner devoted to the McBoo trick-or-treat pails, as well as a Kate Bush Christmas ornament, part of their series of New Wave themed ornaments. If you ever happen to see these guys at a con, say hi. Their stuff is great. (I also picked up a Last Drive-In shirt while in line for Joe Bob as well as a shirt featuring "The Burning's" Cropsey.) 

I also picked up some quirkier stuff this year. Itzy Bitzy's sells candles inspired by movies. I'm not normally a candle guy but I'm impressed by the creativity involved in assigning a scent to a character or film. I had to grab a "Pulp Fiction" candle with an I intoxicating espresso scent, obviously inspired by the "serious gourmet shit" scene.

We saw Trick or Treat Studios' Universal Monsters cardboard Halloween decorations, inspired by the old Beistle cut-outs, at multiple booths. I just couldn't resist those. I also found an old cardboard standee from the '90s Universal Monsters Pepsi/Doritos advertising campaign. As I'm obsessed with that particular string of advertising, I had to grab that

Lastly, there's two booths I always have to stop at. First, there's the artwork of Cine Tredici. I just love talking with this guy, because he has artwork inspired by movies you never see merchandise for, even at conventions like this. I bought prints based on "Four Flies on Grey Velvet," "Carnival of Souls," and "A Bucket of Blood." But I could've gotten a dozen different ones. I pointed out paintings inspired by "Wake in Fright" and "Garth Marenghi's Darkplace," and I was apparently the first person to recognize them. We ended up talking about Mario Bava, Brian DePalma, Hammer horror, spaghetti westerns, Barbara Steel and other stuff. He's really cool, check out his stuff

And then there's the movie poster guy. I don't know his name and he doesn't have business cards or an eBay store or anything. I just know he used to own a movie theater and has forty years of posters and memorabilia to move. I always come home with multiple posters from this guy, because he prices to sell. (As opposed to "priced to carry around for fifty years," as he puts it.) He didn't have his giant box of folded poster this year but I still snagged some beauties. Such as original one-sheets for "Near Dark," "Last Action Hero," "Don't Answer the Phone," and the infamous "Slam Evil!" poster for "The Phantom," which I got for free because it had some water damage on it. What a stand-up guy.

Because the convention was so ridiculously packed on Saturday, we did a little less shopping and more looking around. However, we did drop in briefly to snag a signature from Christopher Lloyd. Unfortunately, Lloyd is one of those guests that doesn't personalize his glossies and doesn't say much to you. I guess because his agent or whoever wants you to spring for the professional photo ops. Which I refuse to do as a matter of principal. So JD and I paid way too much just to have Mr. Lloyd sign some glossies nod at us. Granted, we caught him after the line died down, literally right before he left for the day. So maybe he was just tired. But it was disappointing nevertheless.

The second half of Saturday was largely devoted to panels. I knew we had to see the Joe Bob Briggs panel, because he's obviously a guy with some stories. And he was, as the prestigious Mr. John Bloom only needs limited prompting to deliver anecdotes from his years of experience. He talked about weekly spaghetti dinners were exploitation directors like Larry Cohen would meet with stars like Fred Williamson or Henry Silva. He talked about how he actually knew Bill Mosely before his cameo in "Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2," as both used to write for Andy Warhol's Interview magazine. He mentioned, during his MonsterVision days, meeting Ted Turner... Who apparently has hearing loss and shouts a lot. It was an enlightening, entertaining and highly informative hour

JD and I got a seat during the Adrienne King/Amy Steel to prepare for the Robert Englund panel. But we still got the tail end of some touching anecdotes about Betsy Palmer. But the best part was, following an answer to a fan questions, JD:s ringtone – an obnoxious sad trombone sound that I'm always telling him to get rid of – went off. And everybody in the room, including King and Steel, heard it. The chorus of laughter followed and it was amazing. This, somehow, will convince JD to keep the ringtone, I'm betting

So anyway, Robert Englund, Ronee Blakeney and Brooke Bundy showed up shortly after that. He shared some great stories about smoking pot with Scott Wilson on Jan-Michael Vincent’s ranch. Or, during a dinner party while they were making “Nightmare Café,” seeing Wes Craven crack up at the “Headwound Harry” SNL sketch. As I’ve observed in past conventions, Englund often encourages his co-stars to answer questions. Probably because he realizes that he could happily dominate these panels and fans wouldn’t care. Yet it definitely felt, to me anyway, that the last Englund panel I attended several years back had a much more upbeat, funny energy to it. Maybe I was just tired. Also, I had an amazing question about the time Englund appeared as Freddy on a Japanese variety show and the moderator never called on me. 

Of course, JD and I also ate at the Iron Rooster and got Spartacus Pizza, which are traditions of their own by this point. I’m still nervous about doing this kind of shit, especially when rooms can be as crowded as they were today. Hopefully I don’t catch the Delta Variant or some shit in two weeks! And the trouble with the hotel aside, I still managed to have a pretty great time. It definitely feels good to be doing this shit again. Hopefully by the next Monster-Mania, things will be a little closer to normal.