Halloween 2025: October 10th

Watchers II (1990)

During my review of 1988's “Watchers,” I referred to it as the first of four adaptations of Dean Koontz' novel. That might sound like an odd way to talk about the film of a book that then got three sequels. However, none of the cinematic follow-ups to “Watchers” are truly sequels. Instead, each film more-or-less is another try at adapting Koontz' book. I can only speculate on why “Watchers” would go down this path as a franchise. The changes the first film made to the source material are disliked by fans of the book now. I imagine this was also the case back in the eighties. Not that “Watchers II” is markedly more faithful than “Watchers I.” It just didn't replace the main character with a teenage Corey Haim. While it's tempting to say that producer Roger Corman saws the sequel as a second chance at doing the book right, it's more likely that no one could think of a better idea than simply telling basically the same story a second time.

And so: For the second time, a genetics research laboratory has a top secret government contract. They have bred and modified dogs to be highly intelligent, capable of complex thought and able to understand language. Animal psychologist Dr. Barbara White has been working closely with a golden retriever named Einstein. Unbeknownst to White, the dog is telepathically linked with a hideous monster kept in the facility's basement. A pair of NSA agents arrive to investigate and our killed by this “outsider.” The incident causes the program to be shut down, with the order that the experiments are destroyed. Director Malceno considers the Outsider too valuable to destroyed and stages a fire and outbreak by animal activists. Einstein quickly meets up with Paul Ferguson, a Marine taken to military prison for punching a superior officer. The Outsider is close behind, pursuing the dog and killing anyone who gets in the way. That includes Paul's ex-wife, Ferguson soon suspected of being responsible for the murders. Einstein leads him to Dr. White, an odd trio forming as they work to keep the dog safe and stop the bloody rampage of its monstrous “brother.”

“Watchers II” utilizes the same trick you see in a bunch of eighties and nineties action movies. The hero is a soldier, someone who obeys orders and serves as part of a strictly organized system. However, Paul is introduced with his hands cuffed together, being escorted off by some M.P.s. See, this establishes that he's a bad-ass trained in war craft and killing but he's also a rebel with no use for authority, the kind of lone-wolf underdog Americans love to root for. When it's revealed why he slugged his commanding officer – he was ordered to take men out on a dangerous training mission that got people injured and killed – that makes him an honorable rebellious trained bad-ass. His moral scruples are established immediately, when he protects innocent Einstein from getting run over by some assholes in a Jeep. It's a hacky trick but it totally works here. Not the least bit because Marc Singer, a while off from his “V” and “Beastmaster” glory days, gives the guy a more personality than your standard John Rambo rip-off. Singer plays Paul as something of a smart-ass who mostly stumbles into danger, never seeks it out. He's got a laid-back charisma and sense of humor to him.

When you pair a likable leading man up with a dog that can type, well, that's a winning formula. As in the first movie, “Watchers II” gets a lot of mileage out of the natural adorableness of its canine co-star. The sequence where the dog drives a car is definitely a highlight. When Einstein is trying to communicate with Singer, who plays his bafflement well, that's another good scene. Singer and Einstein are paired up with Tracy Scoggins as Dr. White. The trio have good chemistry together. Such as in the amusing scene where Paul discusses the artillery he has to buy. I like the way Einstein nudges the two humans to get together. As well as how Scoggin's female lead actually listens and understands when it looks like her new guy friend might be a serial killer. “Watchers II” corrects a big mistake the first film made but actually having the girl and the dog get involved during the final showdown with the monster too. 

The cute dog and likable heroes are the main element that makes “Watchers II” a slight improvement. As a monster movie, it's still fairly standard stuff. The suit used to create the Outsider is quite awkward. That it looks like a humanoid figure covered with tumors or malformed flesh is cool but the elongated snout is distressingly aardvark-like. The P.O.V. shots are still obviously inspired by “Predator.” However, I do appreciate that “Watchers II” takes a little more from Koontz' novel, in the sense of making the monster a bit sympathetic. This genetically engineered beast rips people apart, gouges eyes out, and bursts through a window when some teenagers are about to have sex. The script repeatedly clarifies that the Outsider is an unloved abomination. Malceno is the closest thing it has to a friend and he's only keeping the monster around because of its military value. Both Einstein and the Outsider are fond of little teddy bears. Which is cute and typical for a dog but, for a monster, gives it a child-like quality to contrast with its murderous rage. That doesn't make scenes where the Outsider wears a trench coat and walks into a corner grocery store or chats with two bums any less silly. Still, an effort was made.

Lastly, “Watchers II” has far prettier cinematography than a Roger Corman production from 1990 required. Edward J. Pei, who has mostly worked in TV, was the D.P. here. He includes several sequences of rays of light crisscrossing through blue-black rooms. A sequence where Singer stalks the Outsider through the sewers is also well shot. Director Thierry Notz hasn't done much else of note but his work here is competent enough. As with the first shot at “Watchers,” I think the super smart dog still gets side-lined by the more standard monster movie shenanigans. The action theatrics are nothing all that special, save a solid dive out a window. Right after the climax ends, the film goes right into credits, which is somewhat abrupt. No one will mistake this for high art. However, for those of us with a taste for direct-to-video junk of the early nineties, “Watchers II” makes for a more-than-serviceable way to waste an hour and a half. [7/10]

The House At the End of Time (2013)

When you think about it, the idea of being transported through time is kind of scary. You are being picked up from the only period in history you know and are familiar with and put down in a foreign land. If you are lucky, you haven't gone back so far that the language is still somewhat compatible. Getting dropped only a hundred years into the past will still leave you with a lot of changes to adapt to. Another century or more and forget about it. Limiting time travel within your own life time still presents challenges. Such as how much changing one event can effect another, leaving you dealing with the fallout of countless ripples in time that could make your future unrecognizable. Not to mention bringing up some existentially terrifying questions about the nature of fate. While most time travel stories are more on the sci-fi adventure side of things, a few films have attempted to explore the horror potential in the premise. Such as “The House At the End of Time,” supposedly the most successful horror film ever made in Venezuela. 

Back in the eighties, Dulce traveled into the basement of her home. Her husband, Juan Jose, has been stabbed in the neck with a butcher knife. She is then helpless to watch as her eldest son, Leopoldo, is carried into the darkness by an unseen person and vanishes. Authorities find Dulce's fingerprints on the knife and she is arrested for the murder of both Jose and Leopoldo. She is imprisoned for thirty years. Now an old woman, she is allowed to serve out the rest of her sentence under house arrest... In the same house that the murders occurred in. Three decades before, Dulce and Juan Jose's younger son, Rodrigo, died in a playground accident. The tragedy put greater stress on their already failing marriage. That's when the haunting started, the family being visited by strange figures and assaulted by bizarre noises. In the present, Dulce finds the supernatural activity has resumed. A friendship with a local priest reveals the history of the home and how its secrets might hold more answers than Dulce could expect.

At least for its first half, “The House at the End of Time” seems to be a fairly standard haunted house flick. The titular structure, an imposing building of stone with a distinctive tower, certainly looks creepy enough. The paranormal activity is nothing we haven't seen plenty of times before. The disturbing figure, of a semi-nude old man with a knife, is glimpsed in mirrors and over shoulders. Hands reach between the gaps in locked doors, grasping at those inside. Director Alejandro Hidalgo and his team are adapt at engineering scares like this. A fittingly spooky ambiance is created within the dark hallways of the house. While Hidalgo is not above using loud blaring musical scores or sudden intrusions of faces or figures to get a sharp jump out of the viewer, they are well done. A sequence involving a medium, fairly standard stuff for a ghost movie, is quite well orchestrated. A moment where an obscured figure moves through Rodrigo's bedroom towards him is the creepy highlight of the movie. What truly elevates the film, however, is the directions the story twists and turns in. The time travel narrative sees “The House at the End of Time” revisiting many of its previous scares and gifting them with a deeper meaning on their second appearance. Making the audience jump isn't too difficult. Giving that jump scare unexpected emotional resonance later on is a lot harder and a far more noble goal.

While “The House at the End of Time” is definitely a horror movie, the film doesn't allow itself to be narrowed by genre conventions. A lot of other scenes in the film play out like they're from a drama about a family struggling in eighties Venezuela. Juan Jose can't find work and Dulce is starting to resent him for it. Leopoldo and Rodrigo spend their days playing baseball with a number of local youths, including a little tomboy they both harbor a crush for. That bond is what accidentally leads to Rodrigo's passing, the kind of simple mistake that can haunt a kid for the rest of their lives. These scenes are overly sentimental, not helped by a rather mawkish score. The sequences of domestic drama can be rather slow-paced. However, “The House at the End of Time” is invested in its characters and their emotional journeys. The clever script brings almost all its ideas full circle by the end, at which point you truly care about what happens to them. When the true threat, which is very human, is revealed, it works because the script has taken the time to build up meaning behind the emotions and actions of its characters.

I'm writing around some of the surprises “The House at the End of Time” has in store because I want people to discover them on their own. The script is fantastically concise in the way many details introduced in the first half come back around before the end credits. To say much more might dilute the satisfaction of watching it play out. However, I was impressed with the method of time travel the movie invents. Rather than go the science fiction route or utilize your standard magical spells, this is film about one of my favorite fantastical plot points: Architectural magic. The script knowingly invokes Masonic ideas, in how the construction of a structure can effect the events that take place within. This is combined with the idea of significant times and dates, numbers that reoccur throughout history. What if events could reoccur in a similar fashion? It all suggests the occultic idea that symbols and patterns link to a higher, more mystical level of operation. Whether you can actually believe in that stuff or not, it's a way more interesting idea than your standard time travel shenanigans. 

“The House at the End of Time” is further supported by strong performances all around. Ruddy Rodriguez stars as Dulce. While the old woman make-up they have her wearing in the present-set scenes leave something to be desired, she still gives a heart-felt and sincere performance. The child actors also do a good job too, never getting too broad or silly. The musical score is a bit sentimental, some of the kid-centric scenes feeling like they're from an Amblin wannabe. The film, in general, is a bit too slow and gentle-handed at times. However, I was ultimately won over by this one. A Hollywood remake was discussed at one point, with Hidalgo attached to direct that too. That must've fallen through and he instead made another horror film in his home country. Based on the strengths of this one, I'm very interested in checking it out. “The House at the End of Time” is well done. [7/10]

Hollywood Off-Ramp: The Flying Wahoo

Last October, I reviewed an episode of extremely obscure anthology program, “Strange Frequency.” That was an attempt by VH1, a network still best known for music videos at the time, to make their own “Twilight Zone.” Presumably somebody thought it was time for this network not known for scripted programming to give it a shot. Clearly, something was in the air that time among execs of cable channels that specialized in shit other than speculative fiction anthology shows. A year before “Strange Frequency” debuted, the E! Network – a channel known primarily for celebrity gossip and making fun of talk shows – would also make their own “Twilight Zone.” It was called “Hollywood Off-Ramp,” telling twisted tales of fame and fortune, as hosted by a very sarcastic Brian Unger. Much like “Strange Frequency,” it was not successful and failed to redirect the focus of a network that would soon be dominated by reality show slop. While “Strange Frequency” at least got a handful of episodes released on DVD, “Hollywood Off-Ramp” would completely disappear after it finished airing. Copies of the episodes probably reside in some studio archive or producer's basement but the show is, as far as anyone else is concerned, “lost” media. 

Except, that is, for one episode that somebody happened to have on a VHS and then slapped onto Youtube. “The Flying Wahoo” stars David Arnott as a former child star . After a company known as Smiley Time bought the production house of the sitcom he worked on, his part was recast. While this failure still stings, David has a new passion. He is the Flying Wahoo, the costumed mascot for basketball team the Fresno Flyers. Nobody else understands his enthusiasm for wearing a purple raccoon suit, least of all his mother nor the residents of the bar he frequents. When Smiley Time also buys the Fresno Flyers, they play to take the team to San Francisco. David is not expected to come along. Feeling despondent, he continues to insist that he is the Flying Wahoo, which soon prompts an unexpected transformation. Alas, some wishes shouldn't come true.

Aside from the fact that nobody was watching the E! Network for dark fantasy stories, the obvious reason nobody remembers “Hollywood Off-Ramp” is that it wasn't very good. The show was obviously very low-budget, taking place mostly on generic sets. Despite being about a sports mascot, we never actually see the inside of a sports arena. Bizarrely, shots of any actual basketball games are replaced by extremely shitty looking CGI animation of a ball going into a hoop. The acting is overall extremely mawkish, with David Arnott being obnoxiously upbeat and cloying in the lead role. In general, “The Flying Wahoo” seems to occupy a cartoonish and exaggerated version of reality. I guess this proceeds the magical events happening in the last third but it mostly makes the show annoying more than anything else.

Mostly, the writing is what fails here. The way the narrative of “The Flying Wahoo” is structured gives the impression that we are supposed to feel sympathy for the main character. He's constantly being shit on by his griping, hateful mother. His career fell apart through no fault of his own. Now, the next thing he loves, being the Flying Wahoo, is being taken away from him by the same corporate assholes. However, the script portrays him as unlikable, clueless to the point of idiocy with no honest perception of himself or reality. He's more pathetic than sympathetic. The magical event that takes place seems like it should present a solution to his problem. Instead, it only ends up making his life worst. The episode then wraps up on an ending so vague as to be almost meaningless. When combined with Unger's sardonic host segments, the impression “Hollywood Off-Ramp” gives is one of mean-spirited mockery. As if the moral of the lesson is “Look at this dumb-ass fail at his dreams and laugh!” I have foggy memories of watching “Hollywood Off-Ramp” as a kid but this episode suggests the series isn't worth remembering. [4/10]

Born of the Wind (1964)

Before creating exceedingly bizarre cult curiosity “Sins of the Fleshapoids,” filmmaking duo Mike and George Kuchar created “Born of the Wind.” The twenty minute film's plot is simple enough: A mad scientist discovers a mummy princess and falls in love with her, despite his maid clearly holding feelings for him. He realizes that a potion made from blood can bring the mummy to life. After a quick trip to the local blood bank, he's cooked up the right elixir and has himself a cute mummy girlfriend. However, she has homicidal tendencies of her own. Things really start to fall apart when a burglar breaks into the doctor's castle and quickly wins her heart. The attempted break-up that follows ends in a twist that nobody is going to predict. 

You can't talk about the work of Kuchar brothers without first talking about what it looks like. This film and “Sins of the Fleshapoids” were both shot silently, on 8mm film. In order to work around this, “Born of the Wind” operates essentially as a silent movie, hand-written title cards describing what dialogue is necessary to tell a story mostly conveyed through visuals. Though the quality of the film is scratchy and dark, a bizarre visual panache still shines through. The home-made sets and special effects of “Born of the Wind” are charming. A rubber skeleton is wrapped in bright white linen to replicate a moment. Blood is runny red water. A mad scientist's laboratory is recreated in an apartment. Most strikingly are several extremely crudely animated sequences of a bat flying over a gothic tower.

Moments such as that point at what the Kuchars were likely doing with “Born of the Wind.” The film is a DIY regurgitation of horror tropes, randomly remixed in a freewheeling style that recalls kids at play. That's why otherwise unrelated ideas like a mad doctor, a rather vampiric mummy, and newfound love collide so wildly. All of this is done with a degree of camp, everyone involved clearly aware of the limited resources they are working with, compensating with theatrical gusto. It's not surprising to read the Kuchars were an influence on John Waters, as their films carry a similar tone of self-aware outrageous. At twenty minutes, “Born of the Wind” definitely wears out its welcome before the utterly nuts ending. As crude as the Kuchars' later work, ti's still more refined than this. Yet it is an intriguing experiment in micro-budget horror myth-making. [7/10]