6:53 - Hello and welcome back to Film Thoughts' annual live-blog of the Oscars ceremony! I'm a little late starting this because I had to choke down some pizza. This is the climax of a full month and a half of me watching and reviewing my way through all the nominees, so it's been quite a journey, I guess. I don't know how many years I've been doing this and I'm sure two people are reading these words right now. Nevertheless, I love giving a minute-by-minute reaction to the glitziest night in Hollywood. Conan O'Brien is a good pick for host, I hope he delivers!
Here's who I would vote for in every category, if the Academy ever gets with it and make me a member.
7:02 - And off we go with the first of what will surely be many heart-touching montages.
7:03 - I'm going to come out being an asshole first thing this year by admitting that I don't especially like Ariana Grande's style of singing! She is overdoing it so badly right now.
7:05 - Enrivo's nails are certainly making a statement.
7:06 - How much of the ceremony tonight is going to bank on a pre-established fondness for "Wicked?" Cause if it's a lot then.. Gonna be a rough night.
7:08 - By the way, it is sort of fun going into the Oscars genuinely having no idea what will win best picture. Let's see the Academy completely blindside everyone and hand it to "Nickel Boys," just for funzies.
7:09 - Alright, the cut to "The Substance" made me laugh. This is a pretty good bit! Are we to expect more bizarre skits like this? Hope so.
7:12 - I like the way Conan pronounces "Nosferatu."
7:13 - Lots of jokes incoming tonight about "The Brutalist's" runtime?
7:15 - Is, uh, Karla in attendance tonight? Can't blame them for going with the easy punchline with her. I do think I've laughed more during this opening monologue than I have in the last few ceremonies.
7:17 - Gotta give Timothee some credit: He pulls off the yellow tux.
7:18 - I love the sparse, uncomfortable chuckles after he made mentioned about how a man unable to give his wife an orgasm. Don't even get me started on Amazon buying the Bond rights...
7:20 - The withering stare of John Lithgow is very effective.
7:21 - Damn, Guy Pearce had a rockin' mullet.
7:22 - Adam Sandler's fluffy sweatshirt rubbed up against his mic there. He's having fun, I respect that.
7:25 - Conan getting serious 25 minutes into his set. But I appreciate what he's saying here. See, that really is what the Oscars are all about. Celebrating the little guys! That's why you don't cut the Shorts categories from the boardcast!
7:26 - This bit isn't very good. The audience is hating it, lol. But I do have to admire the audacity and stupidity of this. Especially the piano playing sand worm!
7:28 - RDJ stopping by at the Oscars on his way to collecting another ten million from Marvel.
7:29 - In a year that didn't have stand-out performances like Culkin or Strong or Pearce, I would agree with the estimation that Edward Norton should just get an Oscar at this point. But "A Complete Unknown" is such an nothing movie and it's such a bland performance. Come on, Kiernan, get that gold!
7:31 - Been a fan of this guy since "Igby Goes Down," so it's nice to see him winning. The sound just cut out on the Hulu feed. How many siblings does he have?
7:33 - Maybe acceptance speeches should have more rambling anecdotes like this.
7:38 - Andrew Garfield's brown suit is bitchin'.
7:40 - Awwww, aren't these two cute together? I'm really rootin' for "Flow."
7:41 - Hoo-ray! May we have more winners from Latvia in the future!
7:43 - I'm rooting for "Magic Candies" but one of the lamer ones will probably get it. As long as it's not "Beautiful Men."
Not surprised that the most Serious, definitely not the best, of the nominees won though.
7:46 - Seeing these two bicker over their cellphone was amusing.
7:54 - Honestly, I'd probably vote for "Conclave," if it was me. But I'm still hoping for a Sweepferatu. But "Wicked" had the Most Costume Design, so it'll be deemed the Best Costume Design.
7:57 - Oops, passed the camera over to Bowen by accident for a minute. I'm really appreciating the general tone of the ceremony this year, of paying tribute to all the artisans in the industry.
8:00 - "Conclave" Bros, it's not too late. We can still make this happen!
8:05 - I love Conan's commitment to stupid bits. I'm glad Nick Offerman's resounding voice has paid off for him.
8:07 - The opposite of joy: Screenwriting! Now I'm curious who would win Best Hair...
8:09 - People on Twitter have been extremely normal about Sean Baker all week, so I'm sure they are overjoyed with it winning anything.
8:12 - Desperately hoping we have a complete "Emilia Perez" lock-out tonight. Can "Nickel Boys" pull it off?
8:13 - "Conclave," huh? Probably wouldn't have been my first choice but I'll take it.
8:15 - Time for the yearly tradition of Janet Yang appearing on-screen.
8:20 - Hell yeah, let's keep Conan changing tuxes all throughout the night!
8:21 - June Squib supremacy! "The Substance" will get it and probably deserves it but "Sweepsferatu!" Alas.
8:24 - I like the little green flowers on this lady's jacket.
8:25 - "I had the pleasure of working with them on the worst Bond movie ever." This tribute was real weirdly timed, in light of the Amazon news. Also, I love the way Halle's dress keeps reflecting the light back at the camera.
8:27 - Margaret Qualty's tooth-gap? I'm just sayin', it DOES things to a man.
8:28 - Okay.. "Lisa."
8:30 - Hey, Doja Cat can actually belt it out! Boy, this is going on for a while, isn't it? I don't know who this person is and I don't know why they invited her. Her hand motions are distracting me.
8:37 - Conan has been killing it tonight. A building devoted to streaming movies! What a concept!
8:39 - "The world's sexiest Daryl." Jesus, twenty years since "Kill Bill Vol. 2?" I am crumbling into dust.
8:40 - Really gotta give Editing to "The Brutalist," right?
Okay, "Anora" for Editing. Huh. That's a choice, I guess. How many more times is Sean Baker going to be up on stage tonight?
8:43 - Seems like a little bit of a long shot but I'm hoping Isabella Rosalleni wins Best Supporting Actress. Come on, she wore blue velvet to the show tonight!
8:45 - Category fraud! Saldana was clearly the lead of "Emilia Perez!" Also, that movie sucked!
8:47 - Oh my god, this is a very intense acceptance speech! Maybe don't ladle it on so much, Zoe, jeez.
8:53 - "The Substance:" The first movie with an extended homage to "Re-Animator" to be nominated for Best Picture?
8:54 - We need to get Ben Stiller out there, doing bits again. He's been behind the camera too much. "Sweepsferatu!" Come on!
8:56 - Uggggh, "Wicked" is just going to bulldoze the technical categories, isn't it? Booooo!
8:58 - "Please welcome, Mick Jagger!" Okay, I don't know why he's here but why not? His eyes have gotten squintier over the decades.
8:59 - I'm sure they'll give it to "Emilia Perez" but can we just give it to Diane Warren, so we don't have to think about her again next year?
9:01 - Best Original Song is a pretty weak category this year but "Like a Bird" is probably the actual best of the nominees.
9:03 - Can we make sure that "Emilia Perez" wins for nothing else tonight?
9:05 - Singing your acceptance speech is a nice touch, I'll admit. But fuck that movie!
9:08 - Damn, Drake is so washed that he's getting dragged at the fucking Oscars!
9:09 - I love the commitment they are showing to this stupid-ass Sandworm bit. "Samuel L. Jackson and Selena Gomez team up in what will hopefully be next summer's wackiest buddy comedy!"
9:10 - "Incident" probably won't win but I sincerely hope it does.
9:11 - Lots of powerful filmmaking on display in the Best Documentary Short category this year and the Academy gave the Oscar to the thing that was on fuckin' Netflix.
9:13 - Personally rooting for "Black Box Diaries" but it'll probably go to "No Other Land."
Yep. I had read online that Gal Gadot was going to present this category but looks like someone changed their mind. I WONDER WHY????
9:16 - I can't help but be cynical about these things. I don't think giving a film about the topic of Gaza being destroyed and suppressed by Israel helps the people actually under that regime much. Good movie though. Donate money to Palestine instead. I no longer believe that simply watching a movie about a topic counts as activism.
9:22 - The wild fires are still on-going, yes? Sort of crazy that the news cycle just moved on from that. Ralph Fiennes does not look like he wants to be here.
9:24 - The show has been kind of middle-of-the-road tonight but Conan is such a natural pick for host. Most consistently funny ceremony in years!
9:26 - "Kilometers and Kilometery!" A writer wrote that joke.
9:29 - I'm very blase on the "Dune" movies but, I'll admit, I probably would've voted for them in Best Sound too. They straight-up turned that last guy's mic off! Rude.
I've never heard a single person pronounce Gal Gadot's name the same way.
9:30 - Come on, APES!
NO! Let the apes take the stage and steal the Oscar anyway! Chimp solidarity! APES TOGETHER STRONG.
9:32 - The German starts talking and then they play da music to get him off da stage. "A legendary movie duo reunite!" I'm so glad that Clint and Clyde are getting back together after all these years...
9:37 - They got Sterling K. Brown to partner with Ana de Armas because Daniel Craig won't return their calls anymore.
As always, Best Live Action Short is a super weak category. "The Man Who Could Not Remain Silent" is my pick.
9:38 - "I Am Not a Robot" was solid. Surprised to see the Shorts branch award the one nominee that wasn't a heavy-handed issues movie!
9:39 - "But I love you." And they start to play them off. NO DUTCH AFFECTION AT THE OSCARS!
9:41 - Nothing but complete respect for Gene Hackman for living to 95 and still dying in a mysterious fashion. In all seriousness, an icon. Time to get sad. I'm glad Roger Corman made it into the broadcast montage.
9:43 - Cheng Pei-Pie died???
9:44 - Lou Gossett Jr., one of my all-time favorite "That Guys!" Sad he won't be randomly popping up in stuff anymore. Shelley Duvall, you are missed! And the loss of David Lynch leaves a hole in my heart the size of a small town with a dark secret.
9:50 - Did that non-controversy about A.I. really one-shot "The Brutalist's" chances in every category? Pretty bogus, says I. Let's give Lol some love at the very least!
9:52 - "Maria's" cinematographer has THE DRIP. That fedora, the side burns, the turned-up collar? Dude looks like a Batman villain.
9:54 - COME ON, SWEEPSFERATU! GIVE ME SOMETHING!
Alright, also an acceptable choice.
9:57 - Absolutely zero chance for "The Girl with the Needle" to win Best International Feature but it's a movie I like the more I think about it. Please, not "Emilia Perez!"
9:59 - All I care about is that "Emilia Perez" did not win. "I'm Still Here," a totally cromulent motion picture. Kind of mean to play that guy off when he was being very sincere!
10:05 - Absolutely brutal shade on the current administration there, Mr. O'Brien.
10:06 - Oh hi, Mark Hamill.
Once I saw the movie, "The Brutalist" score totally won me over. I hope it wins, not the least because it's competition is underwhelming.
10:08 - Don't play this poor man off, he's about to burst into fire in the sun.
10:12 - Damn, the show was almost running on time for once! Quick, throw in an unnecessary musical number to crush the pacing again!
10:19 - Awww don't be hard on yourself, Conan. I'm sure your mom thinks you are handsome.
Sebastian Stan is my pick for Best Actor, who has no chance at winning at all. Timothee probably will get it because the Academy is so boring.
10:22 - Is Adrien Brody going to go up on stage and French kiss Cillian Murphy?
I love the anecdote about the make-up artist who tried to remove Brody's nose, assuming it was a prosthetic. How do you know who Adrien Brody is and not know that snoze? Anyway, I hope this means Neil Cicirega does a BrodyQuest sequel now.
10:27 - Brody strong-arming the orchestra. That's star power, baby!
10:29 - Awww, Conan getting sincere about Tarantino! I would to.
10:36 - This deep into the show and Hulu's live stream goes cold!
10:37 - Alright, my friends on Discord saving my ass. I'm sure Demi has got it in the bag but rooting for Mikey!
10:38 - Heeeeey Mikey! Boy, all the other nominees doing or saying something stupid really worked in her favor!
10:39 - She's absolutely delightful and I hope she becomes a huge star.
10:41 - "The best Oscar host ever." Okaaaaay, suuure.
10:43 - Watch them still give it to "Emilia Perez" just to infuriate me, personally.
10:44 - Honestly, I'm quite pleasantly surprised that "Anora" ended up sweeping. "The Brutalist" or "Emilia Perez" seemed like the more obvious favorite. Back in January, I picked "Conclave" as the "safest" choice. I've already seen a ton of people debating the merits of "Anora" already so I don't think it's a safe choice at all. But I really liked it! Good for these guys. Can't wait for the months of debate and discourse over this film and Sean Baker now.
10:30 - Third time Sean Baker has been upon that stage. I guess this seals the deal on "Anora" winning Best Picture. I would not have expected it a few months ago!
10:51 - General thoughts on the show tonight: Conan was great! Could've done without the musical tributes! The winners were very weird! No bizarre stage antics or fuck-ups, which I guess is good! Hulu can suck my ass! That's another award season in the books. Good night, everybody!
No comments:
Post a Comment