“Everything is in context. My mother used to—she would give us a hard time sometimes, and she would say to us, "I don't know what's wrong with you young people. You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?" You exist in the context of...
ZACK CLOPTON'S 2024 FILM RETROSPECTIVE!”
2024 was certainly a year that existed. Like all rotations this great ball of dirt of our's takes around the Sun, it was a twelve month period full of heartbreak, pain, major losses, little victories, and everything in-between. 2024 certainly didn't work out the way I hoped it would, in many ways. By the same accord, I experienced a lot of joy in my personal life this year too. As with all things in the grand realm of existence, it can be summed up with three simple words from a man infinitely wiser than myself: So it goes. The Earth will continue to spin, life continues on both with and without us, our singular existences being nothing but a drop in a bucket in the massive web of all things and contradictorily also the only thing that matters.
I apologize. The end of the year always gets me philosophical. Another thing that gave me a lot of joy this year is what this often neglected, rarely visited little corner of the internet is all about celebrating: Motion pictures, the great art of light and sound, movement and stillness, recorded on film and broadcast on an enormous screen before our eyes. Reflecting both the sheer volume of films that come out now, as well as my continued devotion to keeping up with it, I have once again surpassed my previous record for number of new releases watched within one year. In 2024, I watched 180 newly released movies. What a spectacular waste of time! Presented before you is THE LIST, my ranking of all those films from my absolute favorite to my least enjoyed.
FOUR STARS
1. Love Lies Bleeding
The sexiest movie of the year because it so intimately understands the appeal of flesh, sinew, sweat, the warmth of being near someone, violence, blood, guns. The moral of “love makes you do crazy shit” is extended as far as it can, in a detailed portrait of a woman who has always dealt with everything and a woman desperate to be adored. Sensual direction, pulsating music, a plot that repeatedly makes you shout in disbelief, and a freewheeling surrealism that caught me off-guard pairs with Kristen Stewart at the best she's ever been and Katy O'Brien in a star-making turn.
2. Nosferatu
Robert Eggers transforms Bram Stoker's story of Victorian anxieties, about foreigners and suppressed sexuality, into an epic battle between light and dark, life and death, love and lower instincts, reason and belief, womanly intuition and masculine bluntness. Count Orlok becomes a diseased corpse, a demonic spectre that spreads a crushing atmosphere of doom over the entire movie. The often chaste relationship between Hutter and Ellen is given a shot of passion while also centering the heroine more than ever, making the repressed sexuality part of the text. Carefully constructed cinematography, sets, and costumes further extend the foreboding ambiance. An excellent cast – save a histrionic Lily Rose Depp – further centers this as maybe the “Dracula” adaptation most like the one I've always seen in my head when I read the book.
3. Timestalker
A simple story of “History repeating itself as farce, not tragedy” moves towards being a shockingly profound and poignant tale of how fantasies can become a cage, love is freedom and not possession, and longing as a one-way street. The script is frequently hilarious, in how pointedly specific its dialogue is, how it delivers violence as a punchline. The way some elements – heart shapes, canaries in cages, dogs on leashes – become reoccurring symbols, building on their own significance with each repetition, adds far more depth than anticipated. I loved each perfectly precise performances, the hilarious dialogue, the lavish costumes, the soft focus dream cinematography, a retro synth score that is actually justified.
4. Hundreds of Beavers
Been a while since a movie made me laugh this hard, this constantly. The term “live action cartoon” gets thrown around a lot but this one hundred percent owns that label, bending the environment, characters, and settings in increasingly ridiculous ways in service of producing as much hilarity as possible. Charming, home-made effects and a fearless lead performance combine with divergent styles – classic video games, silent comedy, Hong Kong action – create something looks and feels like nothing else this year. That makes this a celebration of cinema itself, to contort and bend reality in unexpected and hysterical ways.
5. The First Omen
Features a texture and grain to its frames that you don't see in most modern movies. Influenced by religious artwork, the images are carefully constructed to seem like paintings themselves. Takes its time to engineer an uncanny atmosphere, using the aesthetics of the Catholic Church to build dread. The film allows these freaky images to exist as visions right out of a nightmare. Margaret's entire life has been engineered to keep her under control. The greatest manifestation of this is motherhood itself. Turns the common facts of pregnancy into grotesque body horror. At the center is one hell of a lead performance. Nell Tiger Free makes for a likable but deeply disturbed protagonist, who goes on a journey through hell that destroys her innocence.
6. The Substance
Attacks the issues of youth, vanity, and women being discarded by the entertainment industry. The points are not subtle but, Fargeat isn't merely taking potshots at obvious inequalities. Instead, this is a far more personal story about self-hatred. Sparkles – played by a fearless Demi Moore – obsesses over her own image as much as the industry does. Every gross-out hits with maximum strength between the carefully constructed editing and often unrelenting visuals. By the finale, the film is reaching levels of spurting fluids and malformed flesh that would put a Troma movie to shame.
7. The Last Stop in Yuma County
Inexplicably, I must be nostalgic for nineties Tarantino wannabes because I thought this was fantastic. Fantastic character actors are allowed to play perfectly to type: Richard Brake is a psycho, Jim Cummings is a nervous wreck, Gene Page is a folksy old man. Exceptionally tight editing helps create a surprising amount of suspense. More than anything else, a script that constantly caught me off-guard, on the way towards a potent moral about the destructive powers of greed, is what makes this a bitter neo-noir delight.
8. The Beekeeper
Innately understands the appeal of Jason Statham, making him a largely physical force of retaliation that cracks bee puns during the rare times he opens his mouth. The villains are all the kinds of people anyone can agree on hating: Phone scammers, crypto bros, Wall Street jerks. Narratively structured like a video game, the script cooks up increasingly colorful and absurd bosses for Statham to dispatch. The last third features a gleefully absurd twist, the kind of turn a child would think up. (I mean that as a compliment.) The direction is colorful, littered with various honeycomb imagery.
9. The Vourdalak
Don't you love it when you stumble upon a movie that feels like it was made specifically for you? Based on the same Tolstoy novella that inspired Bava's “Black Sabbath,” this is a folk horror tale proudly in the gothic tradition. The cinematography is gorgeous, patterned after Rococo paintings. The costumes and sets are beautifully realized, the performances nicely stylized. Meanwhile, the titular monster is brought to life through a surreal, striking marionette that gifts the film with a unique atmosphere. A dryly hilarious satire about class division with an unsettling atmosphere and several fantastic jolts, this is a future classic.
10. The Bikeriders
Understands deeply that every signifier of masculine prowess is complete bullshit, based in emulations of pop culture and shallow visuals accessories. The original bikers are depicted as posers, wannabes, and hooligans. At the same time, Jeff Nichols' film never undersells the bonds between these guys, despite the dumb-ass honor code spiraling towards easily avoided tragedy again and again. More than anything else, this is an excellent collection of great actors, playing memorable characters, doing weird voices and specific dialogue while wearing highly detailed costumes. May Tom Hardy always find bizarre new affections to put on. Bitchin' soundtrack too.
11. Flow
While the animal protagonists are certainly anthromorphized, Latvia's first animated feature strives to make sure its cat, capybara, dog, lemur, and stork heroes all move and sound like real animals. That makes for a surprisingly expressive story, that often has the creatures acting as you'd expect animals to in surprising situations. The rising ocean waters and ruins of a past city bring anxieties about climate change and the world we humans are leaving to future generations to mind. This is also a spiritual tale, about how life is full of partings but nothing ever truly ends, told without a single word being spoken. While the animation isn't exceptional – comparable to a PS3 video game – the film is beautiful and soothing in its own way.
12. MaXXXine
Everybody wants to be a star. A desperate need to control sexual desire is what drives the murders, the need for stardom and the need for sexual expression practically being one and the same. Ti West manages to capture the unhinged energy of "Blow Out" or "Raising Cain" in an outrageous climax that keeps escalating in craziness. What I most love is the earthy specificity of the world it creates. Some may find this all a little-too-much, the movie collapsing under the strain of its own need to be the ultimate Hollywood Sleazecore throwback. Personally, how can I not be entertained by this?
13. In a Violent Nature
The walking is meant to put us thoroughly in the head of this silent maniac. The tedium of waiting for the perfect time to strike invokes an existential loneliness. By forcing us to consider "Johnny" in an empathetic light, "In a Violent Nature" also contemplates what role such a being plays in this world. By placing such brutal executions among the stillness of nature, it makes Johnny and all the masked murderers before him an expected part of the ecosystem. The film drops us into the middle of a myth that is still on-going. Stories like this are as much a part of the natural world as the trees or beasts.
14. Red Rooms
Chillingly accurate depiction of how isolating it is to spend all your life online. That the film willfully refuses to give us much insight into why our protagonist – Juliette Gariépy, beguiling – is frustrating but fitting, as it draws us more into her twisted world. The editing, cinematography, and score are as tight as can be, creating a sea-sick but deliberate sense of tension throughout. The grisliest stuff is kept off-screen but remains unsettling through sheer suggestion. A disturbing post-mortem of true crime obsession and how intoxicating it is to get sucked into the various layers of internet society.
15. Thelma
Josh Margolin uses the visual language of an action movie – quick cutting, energetic music, high-speed movement – to tell the story of an old woman who is wilier than she seems. June Squibb, as always, is utterly delightful. While the elderly not grasping simple technology or being overly friendly are played for laughs, the affection for its over-the-hill heroes is totally sincere. In fact, this might be the warmest and most unexpectedly likable film of the year, with even the petty squabbling and disagreements being based in reality. If you've still got one, hug your grandmother. You're going to miss her someday.
THREE AND A HALF STARS
16. A Different Man
A film with a great many things to say about how we perceive ourselves, how we are perceived by others, what others truly value in us, what society values in appearances, and to what degree an author owes their inspiration anything. It's also a hilariously dark, surreal comedy with fantastic performances from Sebastian Stan and Adam Pearson that only grows more nightmarish as it goes on. I wasn't crazy about the crash-zooms in the cinematography though.
17. Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire
"Godzilla x Kong" never stops barreling forward, introducing another dopamine stimulating bit of madness. It says a lot that Kong bludgeoning other huge apes with a juvenile giant simian doesn't even rank among the most outrageous moments. A non-verbal, wholly visual epic that tells its story through the body language and facial expressions of its giant beasts. Kong radiates Dad vibes throughout, Godzilla a lovable bastard who simply wants nothing more than to pummel his opponents, and they are united against a cartoonishly evil villain. This freewheeling style of sci-fi/fantasy storytelling has always been commonplace in the Japanese "Godzilla" films and I love that the American ones have picked up on it.
18. The Coffee Table
The darkest of comedies about one of the worst things that can happen to a person, this generates genuine gasps and tension by having the protagonist make a horrifying mistake... And then piling one petty inconvenience after another on him, creating the sickest sort of laughs. Strong performances and a memorable score allows everything that happens to operate as cruel humor of a sorts. Can't quite stretch this premise out for a feature runtime, the script eventually starting to eat its own tail, but it does deliver on a properly bleak final scene.
19. My Old Ass
Unexpectedly one of the most disarming and charming films of the year. Roots its gimmicky premise in some very real emotions, mostly in the idea of learning to appreciate how fast time goes by but also not becoming neurotic about it. The coming-of-age aspects are so well done, capturing that youthful spirit. Aubrey Plaza is fantastic and hilarious as the titular older ass, while Maisy Stella makes for a very relatable young heroine. Gets some big laughs with the wackier comedic moments while also being genuinely sweet.
20. Blackout
In "Blackout," the wolf isn't only a metaphor for alcoholism or father hang-ups but also the darkness that can well up inside any of us. The spectre of racism and xenophobia, which the powerful use as scapegoats, is merely another symptom. Fessenden attempts to understand the conditions that bred these problems, not merely invoke them as easily identified cultural boogeymen. Without the werewolf, this would be an effecting low-key drama about a wayward man once again learning that going home is not so easy. There is a werewolf in this movie though and it brings more than enough slashed faces and torn out throats to satisfy any Fangoria readers. As much as that wild animal lives in all of us, "Blackout" argues – with quite a degree of resigned sadness – that there has to be a better way though.
21. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga
As different from "Fury Road" as it was from the other "Mad Max" films, this origin story is a sweeping epic that covers a lifetime of events in a novelistic approach full of friendships gained, loves lost, betrayal, war, and power plays. All of which occur alongside the seat-of-your-pants, inventive action we associate with this series. Simply put, nobody is better at world-building and crafting a living folklore than George Miller, who continues to create a cinematic universe as detailed, lived-in, vivid, and colorful as any before it. Chris Hemsworth makes for a compellingly eccentric antagonist. Anya Taylor Joy's huge, staring eyes are put to good use as the title character, despite never matching the intensity of Charlize Theron. If "Furiosa" pales in comparison to its predecessor that's more a testament to the previous "Mad Max" installment's grandness than any knock against this thrilling, fantastically realized picture.
22. Heretic
Easily Scott Beck and Bryan Woods' best work, as the script rewards the viewer for paying attention, subtly setting up little details that become important later. Some very carefully constructed sets and patient cinematography help further raise tension, as a seemingly harmless situation gets increasingly threatening. Hugh Grant is perfectly utilized, his avuncular presence and easy-going charm disguising more manipulative intentions. The opening scene goes a long way to establish our two heroines, both of whom have more depth than they at first seem to project. As a film about religion and belief, it nicely winds towards a point about secular humanism but manages to make its discussions compelling. I wish the story didn't cut away from the house for several scenes, which delude the tension, and that it didn't lurch into slasher style stabbing and stalking at the end.
23. Badland Hunters
Watching big beefy lad Ma Dong-Seok power-punch thugs and decapitate zombies in the post-apocalyptic wasteland, while set to a spaghetti western inspired score, is a good time at the movies. The action scenes are dynamic, with acrobatic flips, tosses, and highly choreographed shoot-outs. The story, with its mad scientist villain, gets increasingly silly. (Certainly lacking the pathos of “Concrete Utopia,” last year's companion film.) However, Ma's easy-going charm and a wacky sense of humor gets us through any rough patches between those slam-bang action set pieces.
24. Chicken for Linda!
A chain reaction of misadventures, each set off by another mistake or a childish misunderstanding, that moves towards amusing anecdotes and a melancholy theme about memories and how they are formed. I suppose it shows how I've matured that I relate equally to the parent and the kids in these kind of stories now. The animation is adorably expressionistic and the film captures the specific feeling of childhood so accurately. The songs are sweet and touching, especially when paired with the charmingly sketchy fantasy sequences.
25. The Shadow Strays
A story of someone raised in a culture of death, trapped in an amoral universe, finding one innocent person and deciding to fight for them, no matter the cost. By which I mean this is almost two and a half straight hour of nothing but the hardest, most brutal fight scenes we're likely to see this year. The film never quite matches the enormous thrill of that first sequence, especially as it winds through a number of subplots. Sometimes, this feels like two movies – one about a secret society of modern ninjas, the other a gang-land saga in modern Jakarta – hastily fused together, especially during an additional fourth act and gratuitously sequel-teasing mid-credits scene. However, the sheer fact of the matter is nobody else is doing bone-crunching, insanely elaborate action sequences like Timo Tjahjanto and his gang. No one else is giving us images like a coke-fueled bad guy in a gimp mask firing a grenade launcher.
26. The Animal Kingdom
Gracefully conducted coming-of-age story whose magic realism metaphor can be read from a number of different outsider perspective that moves towards a genuinely moving conclusion. I also found myself touched by the story of a father trying to protect, and ultimately accepting, a child that is part of a persecuted minority. The make-up effects are fantastic, bringing a group of human/animal hybrids together with a mixture of body horror and whimsy.
27. Look Back
Guaranteed tear-jerker that manages to convey a lot of emotions – about friendship, collaboration, regrets, and why we feel the need to make art in the first place – with simple animated facial expressions and comic-like visual tableaus. At only an hour long, we get a mere glimpse of the relationship between the heroines and it feels frustratingly abbreviated in some ways. At the same time, I wouldn't want “Look Back” to be any other way, as its briefness speaks to the power of its themes and feelings.
28. Haunted Ulster Live!
What starts out as an extended homage to "Ghostwatch," but with a goofier sense of humor, soon embraces some Nigel Kneale-ian ideas to find the halfway point between found footage and folk horror. The characters are funny and likable while the slow escalation of creepiness is very well done. By the end, this is throwing out some genuinely creative, low-fi horror imagery and big ideas about how myths resonate and change through time.
29. Rebel Ridge
Smartly updates the “First Blood” formula for the modern day, of small town asshole cops hassling a random guy who turns out to be the biggest bad-ass in the world. Aaron Pierre absolutely lives up to that description, as an ultra-prepared action hero that is still empathetic, emotional, and unstoppably driven. A rage at the system that allows these injustices to happen, and continue, burns through every minute of the film as more ideally assembled sequences of suspense and tension roll on. Maybe this needed a little more of the visceral violence that characterized Jeremy Saulnir's previous work, and the last act lags a bit, but this is still a kick-ass ACAB actioner.
30. Tuesday
I, for one, like the personification of death as a rasping, anxiety-ridden, size-changing, talking macaw that befriends a teenager dying of cancer. The scenes of this spirit bonding and hanging out with the title character are funny and sweet. "Tuesday" is further bolstered by Lola Petticrew and Julia Louis-Dreyfus giving thoughtful, emotional performances that tug at the heart strings. The script kept me guessing as it runs through multiple scenarios on how human beings grapple with the inevitability of loss while giving attention to the little, mundane details that make up our lives.
31. Infested
Has an acute understanding of why so many people are arachnophobes. "Vermines" manages to blow that anxiety up as big as possible. The camera often gets into the tight spaces with the characters, and the spiders, emphasizing how little room is between them. The film takes enough time to grow its characters before pushing them into this life-threatening situation. This group is already on the outskirts of a society eager to discard and blame them before the spiders attack. Like the families in the apartment, the arachnids simply want to survive.
32. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
Eerily photo-realistic CGI figures moving about in a brilliantly realized alternate world makes this an absorbing science fiction fantasy. The script invokes Campbellian archetypes in its story of a young hero defining himself amid a traditional society and against a power-hungry villain. The ideas present in all the “Planet of the Apes” films, whether it's possible for humanity and ape to co-exist, nicely come to the surface several types. While mostly a stand-alone film, the way this explores the idea of how Cesar's words are used long after he's gone are fascinating.
33. I Saw the TV Glow
These kids are living in worlds where they can't be themselves. Instead of connecting with other people, both connected to a TV show. "I Saw the TV Glow" uses loving fiction so much that it starts to feel more real than reality as a metaphor for depression, malaise, and disconnection. The disturbing sense throughout that something isn't right feels like it's developing towards something. The film instead ends in a place of ambiguity, extending that feeling of displacement as far off the screen as possible. I'm not quite sure but Schoenbrun accurately captures the feeling of both an actual nineties TV and the overblown version that exists in its fans' head.
34. Riddle of Fire
Disarmingly charming, in that it lets its kid stars simply be kids. Whether they give “good” performances or not, they are having a great time. In fact, the film does an incredible job of capturing the way children can weave in and out of fantasy and elaborate play times with ease in such an intimate fashion. The rambling plot, which brings a fantasy quest structure into the “real world,” definitely goes on too long. However, the gorgeous, colorful cinematography and charming needle drops – including, of all things, a poignant use of the “Cannibal Holocaust” theme – makes this an easy watch nevertheless.
35. Oddity
"Oddity" properly draws the viewer in and builds eerie anticipation before deploying its shocks. That wooden mannequin is simply freaky, a horror prop that takes up full-time residence in the uncanny valley. McCarthy seems to have quite a grasp on how to make something look unsettling, as "Oddity" packs in multiple visuals like that. Told in slightly non-linear fashion, the script does a good job of giving the audience information only when we need it. All of this moves towards a plot with enough twists to keep us guessing and gives us a morally grey heroine and a proper bad guy to root against.
36. Enter the Clones of Bruce
Proves that “talking heads documentary” is not always a negative thing, as long as your subjects are compelling and the topic is fascinating. Hearing the behind-the-scenes process of how one man's death became a cottage industry is interesting, as told by the men who were there. Angela Mao, “Dragon Lee” and “Bruce Li” prove especially good interviewees, dropping personal anecdotes that are even kind of touching. Also, hearing enthusiastic genre historians talk about their passion, in-between clips and trailers for some absolutely insane movies, is always going to be a good time for me.
37. Monkey Man
A good example of a new director shoving lots of things he likes into one movie: Brutally violent melee action, martial arts movie training sequences, Hindu mythology, improvised weaponry, epic architecture, a gritty setting, a cute dog, and emotional lighting. All this pairs well with a deeply personal story raging against religious fundamentalism, nationalist politics, mistreatment of queer people, and the cops. That palatable anger and Dev Patel's sinewy performance carries us through an exhausting pacing and relentless grim plotting.
38. Inside Out 2
The cliché of all modern CGI family films including a realistic depiction of a panic attack is fulfilled here, though at least it's a natural extension of the story's themes. The depiction of Anxiety is well done, the new emotion not being portrayed as a villain so much as an overwhelming overcorrection. The other new emotions mostly result in some cute jokes. Honestly, this sequel might be funnier than the first, thanks to some extremely amusing sight gags about Riley's secrets. Yet, much like the first, I still feel like the central metaphor is oddly strangled and the teenage girl isn't as fleshed-out as you'd expect considering the story takes place in her head.
THREE STARS
39. Chime
Kiyoshi Kurosawa made a 45 minute long movie for some NFT-based streaming platform which is unfortunate. At least “Chime” is good though. The absence of anything explicitly malevolent makes the sense of dread build up faster. When something horrible or shocking does happen, the film manages to lull you into a mundane mood, making the more intense moments all the more surprising. If we are to believe that, sometimes, people snap into a homicidal rage for seemingly no reason at all, “Chime” stealthily invokes this idea as a communicable disease. Mutsuo Yoshioka gives a convincing performance as a totally normal guy who is either falling victim to this cancer – which may be a metaphor for modern life itself – or only aware in starts and fits that he's slowly losing his mind.
40. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
Does not entirely avoid the legacy sequel pitfalls but an actual attempt was made to recapture the look and feel of the original through practical effects and physical sets. The film is overflowing with slime, goop, and ooze. I did not expect a stop-motion flashback or a loving homage to Mario Bava. On a scripting level, this is a bit of a mess. But everyone is having such a good time! Perhaps most importantly, the sequel gives the impression that it exists for reasons beyond making money. Drawing parallels between this story and Burton's own career seems hard to dismiss. Beetlejuice remains a sleazy bastard who is only out for himself.
41. Kinds of Kindness
Yorgos Lanthimos' trilogy of absurdist nightmares features quite a lot of bizarre behavior, an often implacable sense of dread, weird bursts of funny dialogue or physical comedy, and no clearly defined connecting theme. The second segment – with its free floating sexual frustration, bodily paranoia, and random dog related intervals – is probably the creepiest and my favorite. The third features the biggest laughs though, thanks to the fearless cast embracing a line-up of weird running gags. Lots of moments that float between surreal laughs and unsettling sense of unreality overall. No, I can't tell you what the title – or any of it, really – means.
42. Farang
Sometimes all you need out of cinema is a giant French kickboxer rampaging through the Thai underworld on a quest to rescue his step-daughter. This is a motion picture that made me audibly yell out “Oh shit!” about a dozen times. The action only gets more brutal and gratuitously bloody as the story goes on. The plot is bare bones but Nassim Lyes is such a juggernaut of high-kicking punishment, his moves captured perfectly by the smooth direction and editing, that you don't mind. Not the first movie I've seen where someone gets stabbed with a protruding broken bone but probably the best use of that idea.
43. Sonic the Hedgehog 3
The script hits the ground running, breathlessly racing from one plot point to the next. There's a lot of characters here. The sequel is seriously invested in Shadow the Hedgehog, particularly how the loss of Maria weighs on him. I didn't expect a “Sonic the Hedgehog” movie to feature a touching depiction of overcoming grief. We get a double-dose of Jim Carrey, his buffoonery becoming difficult to sanction. My continued suspicion that these films would be a lot better if they were entirely animated is furthered by the last act. That's when “Sonic 3” becomes a colorfully directed action flick.
44. Salem's Lot
Once again, a Gary Dauberman movie benefits from low expectations. Yes, fitting Stephen King's subplots packed novel into a normal length movie was always going to be tricky. The resulting rocket sled pacing, that seems to race through a lot of the story, and thinly characterized heroes is an unavoidable side effect of this. On the other hand, Dauberman and his team know how to engineer a scary sequence. The vampires here are so effectively freaky and each attack scene is shockingly well executed. Moreover, the movie is full of striking images and a foggy, classic horror atmosphere. The finale set at the drive-in movie theater is one of several clever ideas implemented here. It goes a little overboard with the CGI – and I have no doubt that the rumored three hour long director's cut would be much better – but I would've loved to have seen this on the big screen.
45. Azrael
Another good entry into the fast-growing “Don't piss off Samara Weaving” genre. Deliberately keeping the details of this post-apocalyptic setting vague helps disguise that this is essentially a mash-up of a zombie movie – with twitching blackened demons, instead of walking corpses – and a religious cult movie. Nevertheless, Weaving's bracingly physical performance goes a long way, as does the joyfully wet and spurting gore effects. By the end, I wasn't entirely sure I had a grip on the story but some moody visuals and hard-hitting action made this a good time nevertheless.
46. Bramayugam
Moody folk horror about the corrupting influence of power, which seems to be a clear critique of India's caste system. Gorgeous, black and white cinematography emphasizes the isolation of the ancient seeming location. The cast fit simple, mythic roles and there's an odd beauty to some scenes. The move into more surreal horror in the last act is effective, despite the film not quite utilizing its long run time the best. I was ready to praise the sound design until a stock demonic growl noise was heard near the end.
47. The Sweet East
Picaresque adventure that references Nabokov and Carroll in its story of a young woman – who is either blissfully unaware or a master manipulator of everyone around her – exploring every end of the spectrum of American extremism. What point the film is making about all the political and social concepts it invokes is hard to say, other than all of these things exist as part of the same cultural condition and that youth is narcotically attractive to everyone. Either way, when paired with a laconic performance from Talia Ryder and warm cinematography, the result is hypnotic more often than not. Could have done without the spurt of Tromaian gore comedy though but liked the Bakshi-like animation.
48. Drive-Away Dolls
Now we know which of the Coen brothers is the goofy one! The intentionally wacky scene transitions, exaggerated accents, and quirky characters all take some time to get used to... However, this is ultimately too easy-going and fun not to be likable. Margaret Qualley and Geraldine Viswanathan have an amusing chemistry together. The classic Coen Bros. Influences of film noir and pulp fiction is apparent in the fast-paced, stylized dialogue. The story is intentionally shaggy, the script luxuriating in its own laidback vibes.
49. Y2K
We millennials are no better than the boomers before us, because the nostalgic signifiers in this totally worked on me. While this certainly gets plenty of easy laughs out of nodding at the relics of 1999, it also has a likable cast playing well-realized characters. I admire the slower second act, that takes the story's emotions seriously. Manages to make some amusing art out of unpromising ingredients like “Virus,” “The Lawnmower Man,” and “Idle Hands.” Like many broad comedies, this definitely runs out of steams before its over though.
50. The Order
Justin Kurzel applies his grim and gritty style to a seventies, cops versus crooks crime thriller. He finds the perfect leading man in Jude Law, whose receding hairline and hard-ass attitude makes for an ideally Hackman-ian protagonist. Smartly depicts white supremacy as an insidious belief system that appeals to man's needs for community and cause while keeping its villains as pure fucking evil. Meanwhile, the cops are depicted as mostly incompetent. There's a number of well orchestrated sequences – an armored truck jacking stands out especially – but the constant cutting between the two story threads dilutes the tension a bit.
51. Megalopolis
About what you'd expect from a forty years in the making epic from an over-the-hill auteur, in the sense that it's an utterly self-indulgent, overly ambitious ode to ambition itself. Uncomfortably horny, occupying a weirdly antiquated version of the future, and hopelessly ridiculous at times, it's also genuinely visually impressive and too entertaining in its nuttiness to be boring. Weaving in multi-layered references to ancient Rome, Ayn Rand, Fritz Lang, and Shakespeare in service of a story ultimately about how genius is its own justification. The performances are full camp, the cinematography is fantastic, the script is nonsense, and I kind of loved it.
52. Kim's Video
The story of one man's obsessive quest to bring a video store collection back home. That our documentarian sees his life through movies, and seems utterly fixated on his goal of retrieving Kim's Videos archive, makes this as much a reflection on a love of cinema as it does this specific story. Even better is how this story takes a number of bizarre twists and turns, involving the mafia and a daring heist finale. Seriously!
53. Exhuma
Korean slow-burn that has built up a properly foreboding ambiance by the time it starts deploying its big shocks. Those include a deliberate quote of "The Exorcist," that managed to put a genuinely new grisly spin on a very famous scene, and the first appearance of the suitably terrifying otherworldly villain. I'll admit, the highly specific discussions of feng-shui and folk magik largely went over my head but I admire how the characters treat their magical business with grounded, unsentimental practicality. I also can't say I totally understood the way this plays on the lingering post-war tension between Japan and Korea, though it's clearly another layer to the story. Accordingly, I felt lost by the time the bloody, theatrical climax kicks in after two hours. But it's still pretty damn creepy, can't deny that...
54. Terrifer 3
It should be easy to dismiss "Terrifer 3" as edgelord nonsense designed to bloodily waltz past standards of decency. However, Leone and his team do show a degree of skill. Obviously, the gore effects are well done and anticipation of this sickening violence is built. The sequel dedicates extensive time to Sienna's lingering trauma. Lauren LaVera gives a thoughtful performance. As much as "Terrifier 3" revels in cruelty and sadism, it's not nihilistic. If anything, it's about holding out hope in intrinsic goodness against an utterly black-souled world. God forbid, I think Art the Clown is winning me over because David Howard Thornton is so talented at expressing glee at what he does. The film ends by blatantly setting up "Terrifer 4" and I guess I'm on the hook for that.
55. Boy Kills World
Desperate to capture a cult audience and appeal to fans of Deadpool-ian flippant ultraviolence, I still had a surprisingly good time with “Boy Kills World.” The sets and costumes are colorful. The script's comedic instincts are nicely absurd, in decent gags like the deaf/mute hero misreading a character's lips, an appreciation for macaroons, or some wacky drug trips. I actually found H. Jon Benjamin's voice-over – supposedly a last minute addition – fairly amusing. Most importantly, the bone-crushing fight cinematography and bloody action deliver the fast-paced and brutal martial arts theatrics we want from a movie like this.
56. Juror #2
No frills court room drama all about how the U.S. justice system sucks, being dependent on random people being led to make life-altering decisions by a carefully manipulated group of professionals... And also some stuff about the malleability of the truth, whether mistakes are forgivable, and the ambiguity of right and wrong. All very grown-up, serious stuff that is delivered by capable, mature actors and directed with all the flair of a dramatically inert TV movie. At least Clint used an actual baby this time.
57. Sleep
Plays the premise of a husband's increasingly disturbing sleepwalking activities as much for humor as it does suspense. The lengths the couple goes to try and keep this weirdness under control is quite amusing. Jung Yu-mi and Lee Sun-kyun are both so charming in the leads, you genuinely want to see these two be happy. As the situation grows graver, a sense of sickly suspense is activated too. Not since “Fatal Attraction” has a boiling pot generated so much unease. I like the ambiguity with which the script approaches the possible supernatural element of the film, despite it resulting in a somewhat rushed finale.
58. Things Will Be Different
Stands alongside “Primer” and “Timecrimes” in the small genre of “low budget time travel mindfucks.” Admittedly, this one roots its story much more in family trauma drama, which it emphasizes without getting too heady about it. The audience is put in the same place as the protagonists, never entirely understanding the quantum mechanics of the paradox loop they find themselves trapped in, a clever subversion of the concept. More than anything else, some lived-in and layered performances from Adam David Thompson and Riley Dandy is what makes this truly worth seeing.
59. Blink Twice
Works best as a dark comedy, once it's revealed what exactly is going on and our resourceful heroines have to hide what they know from their hosts. The dynamics of power, reprisal, and rape culture confronted here are nothing new. However, the bloody payback makes for a cathartic sequence. A convincing cast of actors are assembled to play the hedonistic sociopaths while watching Naomi Ackle unravel this mystery is compelling as well. Not to sure about that last scene though... Also dig that James Brown soundtrack.
60. The Remarkable Life of Ibelin
A nice snapshot of the effects one person can have on the lives of many. The story of Mats Steen is one that tugs at your heartstrings, a kid born with a disease slowly took his body away from him and isolated him from the outside world. This documentary plays on that fully and, its decision to re-enact his interactions in the digital world with transcripts and animation, makes the true story feel manipulative in how it's told. However, it is a touching tale ultimately, of how the human heart and spirit can reach out beyond a broken body and the bonds we make in our lives.
61. My Monster
A romantic comedy about falling in love with the monster in your closet, that is obviously a metaphor with grappling with deeply held pain and learning some self-worth. Melissa Barrera – better here than in anything else I've seen her in – bounces off a likable Tommy Dewey as the laid-back beast she befriends. The premise is obviously insanely cutesy and the often self-aware dialogue causes this to border being annoying at times. Still, I found myself invested in the heroine's journey by the (kind of blunt and unsatisfying) end. Good soundtrack!
62. Krazy House
Clearly an absurd shock-comedy, what with its brutal violence, increasingly outrageous scenarios, and flippant treatment of Christianity. At the same time, this feels more intense than your typical Troma movie. As if the writer/directors were genuinely working something out, about faith and family. That the whole thing is wrapped in a largely unexplained retro sitcom framing adds an uneasy undercurrent. Nick Frost's off-beat performance centers a film that leaps between disgusting, darkly funny, graphically gory, and intentionally cheesy.
63. Orion and the Dark
Ways you can tell Charlie Kaufman wrote this children's movie: The meta nesting doll narrative that eventually presents a moral on the power of storytelling, an incredibly neurotic main character whose rampant anxiety orders on obsessive compulsive disorder, the way various abstract concepts are personified and the implications of that being followed to unexpected places, an ending that goes further into the mind and the past, a cameo from Werner Herzog and self-aware jabs at the Dreamworks formula. Despite Kaufman's best efforts, he can't overcome this being a feature length adaptation of a short picture book that has to keep adding stuff to keep the story going. It feels exactly like a typical kid's movie at other times, the weirder elements fighting to make it through.
64. Skincare
Doesn't say anything about the nature of fame, existing as a woman in the modern world, or the gender wars therein that hasn't been said before and better... But this is still worth seeing, largely for the pleasures apparent in watching Elizabeth Banks slowly crack up as a woman desperate to hold on to success. There's a few colorful supporting roles, especially from Nathan Fillion, and a twist in the middle of the movie is nicely revealed. Never gets quite as dark or crazy as I hoped it would, leaving the ending feeling a bit deflated.
65. Alien on Stage
Adorable ode to the amateur craftsmen and performers who practice their art strictly out of love. The behind-the-scenes struggle of community theater produce more than enough drama on its own to power a motion picture. The characters that emerge are colorful and amusing. The climax of this doc is made up entirely of a performance of the home-made stage production of “Alien,” which is exactly as charming as you'd hope.
66. The Wild Robot
By adding a little painterly smearing and naturalistic lighting, this is made so much prettier than it would've been otherwise. “The Wild Robot” definitely needs that additional visual flair, since its story – full of wacky animal sidekicks and an obvious moral about the challenges and compromises of parenting – is nothing especially new or novel. The dynamic between the titular machine and the gosling she adopts is still awfully adorable. Chris Sanders never doubts the emotions in his films, despite how formulaic they may be. This went almost its entire runtime without introducing a single person.
67. Founders' Day
Rather glossy for a modern day indie slasher and a big step-up from “She Came from the Woods,” Erik Bloomquist's previous throwback horror flick. The tone that's being imitated here is a post-”Scream” nineties flick but the vibes remind me a lot more of an eighties whodunit, what with its multiple subplots and sprawling cast of possible victims and probable red herrings. But the stalk-and-slash scenes are well executed. The political gimmick could've been utilized more and it collapses into awkward exposition in the last act – not unlike a “Scream” sequel – but I'll take it.
68. Humane
If your movie is going to be about awful people arguing with each other, at least make them funny. That's a lesson that the latest entry into the Cronenberg family cinematic dynasty follows with “Humane.” The cast is strong, with an acerbic Emily Hampshire and a nicely hammy Enrico Colantoni bringing far more humor to this than I expect. It all ends in rather tedious in-fighting. The issues raised by its dystopian, near-future set-up are never examined too closely. Still, it's interesting, especially when you think about the themes of familial resentment within the context of its director's famous family...
69. Humanist Vampire Seeks Consenting Suicidal Person
Aside from having the best title of the year, this is also an adorable little coming-of-age story whose protagonist happens to be a very sensitive vampire. The script has a lot of fun contrasting the typical perils of young adulthood – defining yourself, arguing with authority figures, falling in love – with the morbid bloodsucking nature of being undead. This produces plenty of laughs but Sara Montpetit goes for pathos in her lead performance, creating a lovable and sweet young woman you want to see succeed.
70. Monolith
Essentially a one-woman show for Lily Sullivan and she rocks it. The script does a great job of drawing us into this oddball mystery, finding ways to get the conspiracy surprising. We really feel the protagonist's growing disconnect from reality as they go deeper into this strange story, represented by the isolated setting getting more restrictive and the paranoid ramping up. After all that effective build-up, the ending can't help but be a bit underwhelming though.
71. Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story
Christopher and Dana Reeve led extraordinary lives, full of amazing success and heartbreaking tragedy who used their standing in society to help other people in similar situations. This doc has extensive access to home movies and interviews with Reeve's kids, family, and friends. You'd think that would give it a lot more depth than your average bio-doc but “Super/Man” isn't much more than your standard hagiography. I still got a little weepy at the end though, largely because of the way it cuts back and forth between Reeve's life before and after the accident.
72. The Exorcism
Jason Miller's son wrote/directed a movie about an actor – with the last name Miller – starring in a remake of “The Exorcist,” with themes of parent/child reconciliation, childhood trauma, and Catholic guilt. That makes an underlit film with far too many jump scares and a preposterous ending more interesting than it would be otherwise. An inexplicably excellent cast includes impassionate turns from Russell Crowe, a so very vulnerable Ryan Simpkins, and a suitably sardonic David Hyde Pierce. This sat on a shelf for years before being released to cash-in on “The Pope's Exorcist,” with evident hatchet job editing. Maybe a director's cut will emerge some day...
73. The Deep Dark
Handsomely produced French monster movie that makes good use of its period setting. The isolation and claustrophobia of its underground tunnel location go a long way in producing a creepy, tense ambiance. That the antagonist is still a big rubber mummy makes this some good schlock, that incorporates more Lovecraftian tones as it goes on. I do wish the characters – all archetypal – were more fleshed-out though I do appreciate the stabs at social commentary about class and race.
74. Civil War
Not sure how some people read this as being a positive portrayal of war photographers, as they are all depicted as either passionless observers or demented thrill-seekers. As a technical exercise, this is excellently done, with the editing and sound design making every cut and gunshot hit the audience hard. Contrasting common place American imagery with those of a violent war is utilized for ironic, absurd, and horrific effect. Several scenes generate a sea-sick sense of tension, such as the distressing sequence with Jesse Plemmons. Cailee Spaeny has the little sister quality necessary for her role but unfortunately I did not buy a huge personality shift her character undergoes in the last third. I'm not sure what value this has a statement on the morality of war or the political divide in modern America.
75. The Primevals
Sixty years after David Allen first conceived it, forty-six years after Charles Band first promised to produce it, thirty years after most of it was shot, and twenty-five years after Allen's death, the “lost” Full Moon movie finally emerges. Clearly indebted to Edgar Rich Burroughs and other pulp sci-fi, this follows a group of thinly sketched and broadly acted characters through a standard plot that involves a lot of pointing off-screen and speculating flatly on mysterious origins. Those stop-motion effects and matte paintings are lovingly created though, in such a way as to intentionally invoke feelings of warm nostalgia in aging monster kids like me. The Kong-like yeti and evil reptilian humanoids are clearly the real stars of the show. Stick this on a grainy VHS tape and send it back to 1994 and I probably would've loved it.
76. Lisa Frankenstein
A fusion of classic horror trappings, sick jokes, goth shenanigans, totally radical eighties aesthetics, alienated teen girl wish fulfillment, and a morbid take on the magical boyfriend premise. "Lisa Frankenstein" keeps it bubbly and fun. Cody's trademark exaggerated dialogue is present alongside some amusingly broad physical comedy. Williams clearly enjoys playing on this cinematic canvas, as she engineers several striking dream sequences. More than anything else, the film is kept afloat by an able-bodied cast.
77. Longlegs
Perkins engineers an unsettling atmosphere of quiet dread, accomplished by a sound design full of slowly mounting discordant noise that leaves the audience on-edge. This is paired with a visual perspective that emphasizes stillness that is often broken up by assaultive bursts. As a narrative experience, it takes a vague approach to its own story and a glacial pacing. Longlegs being an unrepentant Satanist feels like an unironic invoking of the Satanic Panic. For Nicolas Cage fans, the film is certainly worth seeing. The cast, cinematographer, sound designer, and production artists all do excellent work but "Longlegs" intentionally denying any insight into its characters or the events that starts these dominos falling makes it hard for me to truly connect.
78. Trap
That our cold and calculating serial killer is also a devoted dad and family man is the most interesting thing about this, highlighted by a simultaneously warm but also slightly unsettling Josh Harnett. The cinematography, obsessed with watching and observing, is extremely good. As long as this is confined to the concert hall, the audience watching this murderer practice his escape routes, it's compelling. Sadly, Shynamalan's inability to write characters that talk like human beings sinks an increasingly convoluted last act. Not to mention the attempts to delve into the Butcher's psychology are seriously underwhelming...
79. Sasquatch Sunset
There's an undeniable audacity in casting well-known actors just to cover them in elaborate Bigfoot make-ups and have them spend a whole movie grunting, scratching, humping, pissing, puking, and shitting. Deliberately gross, you're either going to find the willfully crude humor amusing or not. I appreciate the absurdity at play here, especially when contrasted against the scenic nature documentary approach and the growing poignancy in the story. Even if the rule of diminished returns is definitely in effect. Certainly a unique entry in the Sasquatch Cinema canon.
80. Deadpool & Wolverine
It's a Deadpool movie and you should know by now whether that will appeal to you, whether you find the non-stop self-aware quips and middle school level gay jokes amusing when paired with Ryan Reynolds' gratuitous level of smarm. I will say I think these films continue to get at Deadpool's Sad Clown act better than they get credit for. Hugh Jackman brings far more weight and pathos to this new Wolverine than was necessary at all – even though his character arc barely makes any sense – proving he's a movie star once again. As a self-congratulatory, studio I.P. slop circlejerk, it comes close to being too smug. Yet there is a degree of genuine affection for the bullshit this movie is built around, with many of the callbacks catching me off-guard and even surprising me. The action choreography is better than expected, I laughed plenty of times, the plot falls apart under a minute's scrutiny, the whole thing is shot like a TV show.
81. The Life and Deaths of Christopher Lee
In many ways, a standard bio-doc about the iconic performer, running through the background details of his life and the greatest hits of his staggering career. This is bolstered by interviews with the people who knew him and the man's words himself, taken from his autobiography. This is given a delightful framing device, in the form of Peter Serafinowicz doing a sturdy impersonation further given life by a marionette of Lee and a number of amusing animated sequences. The result is a fine and loving tribute to the King of Horror, a title the man himself roundly rejected despite his proper claim to it.
82. Frogman
Often feels like a “V/H/S” segment stretched out to feature length, padded out with some relationship melodrama and extensive backstory. Tedious first acts are not uncommon for found footage flicks though and “Frogman” at least uses its early scene to build up the mythology around its cryptid. Once the monster movie carnage begins, this proves to be a compellingly creepy take on the genre. The willingness to take this set-up into increasingly weird directions makes for a clever last act.
83. How To Have Sex
A naturalistic, ground-level depiction of teenage debauchery that attempts to capture a deeper truth about the pressures teenage girls face. This involves asking difficult questions about consent and expectations, mostly those that young women put on each other. What I mostly got out of this is the heartbreaking lead performance from Mia Mckenna-Bruce, who conveys so much inner storminess with just a look on her face, and how fucking awful Tara's friends are. Whether this says anything that other films haven't about the trauma and messiness of first sexual experiences, I'm not sure but it's a bracing, effective watch nevertheless.
84. Horror in the High Desert 3: Firewatch
The “Horror in the High Desert” formula is established by this point. We get an hour of somewhat dry mockumentary interviews with slightly ropey acting that expands on the mythology that this little franchise has built up. The movie then concludes with a sequence of humbly produced but extremely creepy found footage, that makes great use of the expansive desert landscapes, abandoned structures, and middle-of-nowhere isolation. I don't know how much longer writer/director Dutch Marich can keep this going but this is proving to be a reliably spooky series.
85. The Wait
Fittingly grim story of a man facing the consequences of his own actions and descending into madness. Victor Clavijo gives a strong performance as the increasingly desperate protagonist. The nightmarish visions he endures get surprisingly vivid. A sequence involving a bowl of beans keeps escalating in gross, unsettling ways. There seems to be some commentary about gun safety and masculine entitlement here and I'm not sure it arrives at any sort of focused point. However, the isolated, western-style setting creates a good canvas for this collection of clearly personal reflections on mistakes and responsibility.
86. Acid
Unsurprisingly, the French take on a classic disaster movie set-up – separated married couple and their daughter try to outrun an acid rain storm – gets far grimmer than any American studio would allow. The storm sequences are nicely visceral, an every day event made perilous. The script does a good job of making the emotional way people act during tense situations seem understandable, alleviating the tedium of token argument scenes. The pacing falters a bit after the protagonists take shelter in a random home but this remains a striking tale of ecological horror.
87. You Can Call Me Bill
I could listen to William Shatner pontificate all day. And pontificate he does, as "You Can Call Me Bill" is as much a movie about his philosophies towards life, death, animals, family, the fragility of the environment, and loneliness as it is about his career and iconic roles. Appropriate clips from all across his storied life are well chosen to illustrate the ideas discussed and we, certainly, get insights into the man we've never had before. If you find Shatner's self-important rambling to be insufferable, you might want to skip this one.
88. Tiger Stripes
Puberty being played as a horror movie isn't a new idea but “Tiger Stripes” puts a culturally specific take on it. This is a film about being a teenage girl coming of age in Malaysia. She grapples with bullying, religious oppression, and learning how much society everywhere hates women. However, the peek into the particular struggles – and folkloric connections – unique to this culture makes this one more than worthwhile to seek out. Some weirdo, lo-fi special effects and strong young performances further add to the interesting ambiance created here.
89. Abigail
Clearly designed to be seen without the audience knowing it's about vampires. The film is as much "Reservoir Dogs" as it is "From Dusk Till Dawn," mining tension out of the ensemble's inability to trust each other. The humor arises out of the interactions between the characters, the threat being played straight no matter how unlikely it gets. "Abigail" invests far more time and energy in its characters than a lot of horror films do. I do think "Abigail" is trying too hard in many ways, in its foul-mouthed dialogue, countless backstabs, and narrative right turns.
90. Interstate
Jean Luc Herbulot’s follow-up to “Saloum” is not the revelation that film was but is a sturdy piece of pulp nevertheless. The visuals remain stylish and the pacing is brisk and tight. When focused on classical scenarios of hard men in tough situations, such as a boat dock shoot-out or a tense car ride, this works extremely well. French rapper JoeyStarr has the right kind of gruff screen presence for the role of a hit man doing One Last Job. The last minute shift into supernatural horror doesn’t work as smoothly as it did in “Saloum,” the film working better when focused on the idea of a redemptive killer going up against an utterly sadistic one. Needed more Asia Argento!
91. Frankie Freako
Goes distressingly far to capture the look and feel of a Moonbeam Entertainment flick. The Freakos' partying involves lots of farting. The slapstick is intentionally pedestrian, the characters purposely exaggerated. However, a more deliberate sense of absurdity is apparent. If you have nostalgia for this specific niche of pop culture, you will find the aesthetic faithfulness amusing. Ultimately though, I kept waiting for the movie to get meaner, weirder, and funnier. Not that I didn't have a good time with this masterclass in committing to the bit.
92. Nightbitch
Messy in its construction, didactic in its themes, and utterly up its-own-ass about its ideas concerning motherhood, womanhood, married life, and artistic expression... But I still kind of liked it. Amy Adams manages to bring some pathos to the incredibly dorky prose. Some humor arises from gently mocking wine mom stereotypes. The touches of body horror can well done and it's a shame the film is too afraid to embrace that or the undercurrent of meanness in the material. But hey, it was nice to see Jessica Harper again and there is a random “Weird” Al needle drop!
93. Stopmotion
The puppets in “Stopmotion” are globs of tumorous meat, with crude little faces, ratty hair, and exposed sinew. Combined with the eerie twitchiness of stop-motion animation makes these character more uncomfortable to look at. There's no doubt that the visuals showing its mental decomposition are unnerving. Aisling Franciosi plays Ella with body language as controlled as the puppets she animates. “Stopmotion” gets a bit lost in its own sauce at times, foregrounding its nightmarish metaphors over telling a more personally realized narrative.
94. A Quiet Place: Day One
Shifting the location to New York City opens the scope of this story way up, the urban setting allowing for a number of impressively elaborate special effects sequences and decently executed suspense. This prequel also gets a lot of mileage out of two strong lead performance, Lupito N'yonga and Joseph Quinn packing a lot of grief and regret in with just their faces and body language. However, I still can't help but feel that the character arc is left frustratingly vague. The movie ends up concluding just as it was starting to feel truly alive. I like the cat and the pizza box gag.
95. Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire
"Frozen Empire" certainly contains its fair share of callbacks to the franchise's history but it actually expands on the ghostbusting premise in interesting ways. Definitely an ensemble piece that feels more like a proper legacy sequel, the old guys show up, get one more chance at glory, and pass the baton to the next era. In its best moments, "Frozen Empire" is a coming-of-age story about a teenage girl at a pivotal moment in her life. Phoebe is trying to define herself, to stand up to her parents, to become her own person. McKenna Grace says so much with just a glare. The biggest improvement this sequel could've made is more focus has been given to Grace.
96. Mike Mignola: Drawing Monsters
The most interesting scenes here are the earliest ones, devoted to talking to Mignola's siblings and how his father and family life molded his passions and art style. Hearing the behind-the-scenes tidbits from the artist is also compelling, especially his self-deprecating humor. However, once this becomes what's standard for these sort of nerd-friendly docs – high-profile admirers of the subject praising him and his creations – this definitely looses some of that energy. I wish these things could have some more depth but still worth seeing for a peek into Mignola's process and life in the Marvel bullpen in the eighties.
97. Never Let Go
Surviving the fall of polite society would suck, while "contagion-like demonic force" is one I can add to my list of ways the world can end. Connected it to the Southern Gothic tradition, this is a story of a mentally ill parent that has passed her condition onto one child, while the other struggles to correlate how someone he loves can treat him so badly. Aja pays homage to "The Evil Dead” but can't maintain those frantic thrills throughout. The script spoils its own ambiguity in the ever-more frustrating last third, repeatedly backtracking on what the truth is. Despite that wavering accent, Halle Berry adds some complexity. Percy Daggs IV and Anthony B. Jenkins, as Nolan and Samuel, give sturdy performances. There's also a neat looking monster in the finale.
98. Late Night with the Devil
A meticulous recreation of a seventies late-night talk show, with darker elements sneaking in. If not for the directors repeatedly abandoning their own conceit, via behind-the-scenes sequences. (Not to mention the AI bullshit, which is inexcusable.) This is a shame because I did find a lot to enjoy here. The special effects driven moments are well done, especially that bit with the worms. This is Jack Delroy's story, a Faustian bargain playing out within the entertainment industry. David Dastmalchian plays him as an anxious man barely holding onto his public persona while his inner demons take hold. He makes the final scenes better than they would be otherwise.
99. The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim
Warner Brothers' desperate scheme to hold onto the film rights to “Lord of the Rings” at least gave a Japanese studio a chance to animate some cool shit. “War of the Rohirrim” looks gorgeous from beginning to end, with lush environments, expressive characters, and dynamic action. I have little investment in the deep lore of MiddleEarth but a warrior princess eager to define herself and a selfish villain motivated by a broken heart are nicely universal themes. It drags horribly in the middle, when winter strands the characters inside and suddenly a wraith appears and I don't know why the king had superpowers, but it comes back strong for a kick-ass finale.
100. Milk & Serial
Curry Barker makes a convincing psychopath, with an especially unhinged smile. The way the character of “Milk” justifies his actions are an intriguing glimpse into the way a mind like that works. As a general indictment of the casual sociopathy of modern Youtuber culture, this could stand to be deeper. (Though seeing people of that profession get tormented is satisfying.) That conceit keeps you guessing for a while but this eventually rambles towards a directionless conclusion, feeling uneven at only an hour long.
101. KILL
Distinguishes a premise that isn't much more complicated than “Die Hard on a New Delhi Subway Train” with some especially bloody, brutal action. There's A LOT of gnarly stabbings, arterial spray, and smashed heads here. It does get repetitive eventually, largely thanks to thinly sketched characters – multiple characters here that can be described as “guys in cardigans with beards” – and a relentless pace. Still, when the title card drops at the forty minute mark and proceeds the hero becoming a ruthless killing machine, that's damn satisfying.
102. Witches
A documentary about the various emotional disturbances that effect woman shortly after giving birth and how it connects with historical, mythological, and cinematic portrayals of witches. As a short video essay, this would have been interesting. As a feature film, it never quite establishes a meaningful connection between its two themes and is overly reliant on interviews. However, Elizabeth Sankey's story is deeply personal and deserves to be told and contains intriguing thoughts and observations.
TWO AND A HALF STARS
103. Memoir of a Snail
I admire the grubby, hand-made quality to the stop-motion animation, as well as the grotesque-cute character designs. The script itself I'm less certain of. The entire film walks a very unsteady line towards sympathizing with its often depressed, mistreated characters and playing their eccentricities and misfortunes for dark laughs. The misery the characters experience is so non-stop that the film often feels like a slog on the wat to a hopeful, life-affirming ending.
104. Cuckoo
I am not one who tries to outsmart a movie. "Cuckoo" still managed to create a properly off-center ambiance. However, figuring out what is going on before the characters do does drain some suspense. Singer and his team have the tools to engineer suspense. However, "Cuckoo" greatly overestimates how frightening a woman with a handkerchief around her head is. Gretchen's character arc involves accepting Alma as her new family but I didn't quite buy it. Dan Stevens is a perfectly wicked villain, adopting a ridiculous accent. When you factor in the puking and shoot-outs, the ingredients were here for a fine B-movie. Sadly, horror flicks that balances cheap thrills and deeper ideas are not as common as they used to be.
105. Challengers
Peaks early with the hotel threesome sequence and never tops it yet I still can't help but feel I'd be more into this if it was told in linear order. Luca Guadagnino directs the hell out of it, throwing in more visual gimmicks in the frenzied last act. I love the way the excellent, electronic score kicks in any time the characters are dueling, whether on or off the tennis court. Despite the sensuality evident throughout, I never felt the characters had any interiority. I wish I could see in Zendaya what the rest of the world sees in her...
106. Club Zero
Sums up well how New Art-y, pseudo-scientific fad diets and “wellness” trends can be used as an avenue for cult leaders and other types of manipulators to get their hooks into young people's brains. If you've done any reading on cults, you'll see that the fictional tribe of “Club Zero” hits all the trademarks, by creating an us versus them mentality, instilling a strict set of rules to follow, and isolated people from their families. It's well thought out, with at least one exceptionally well done scene of gross-out horror, but the film approaches its topic in a distant way, with very deliberate pacing, which makes it hard to get involved here. I'm also not sure what's up with Mia Wasikowska – otherwise very good – doing a funny accent.
107. One More Shot
A sequel that can't maintain the frantic intensity of the original. For a movie all about Scott Adkins hurting people, this has far more plot than is necessary. The locomotive pacing falters any time the film stops to focus on the various betrayals or negotiations. (Once again, any coherent political point within this mishmash of reactionary ideas is impossible to find.) The action scenes – which composed nearly the whole movie – are still good, especially the showdown between Adkins and Michael Jai White.... Though you are starting to notice that these guys have been doing this for twenty years and maybe their bodies aren't as agile as they once were.
108. Hostile Dimensions
Brings some clever ideas to the found footage format, creating some truly bizarre images with low budget but likably surreal special effects. There's an attempt at a deeper story here, which the likable leads can not exactly make into anything solid. Once a proper antagonist is introduced midway through, the film starts to loose its footing, wrapped up a little too much in its own abstract ideas. There is an off-beat sense of humor here, which helps make the more outlandish ideas and unfocused script go down more easily.
109. Kraven: The Hunter
What if Tarzan was also John Wick? When focused on lengthy action scenes, devoted to this hyper-violent antihero slashing through an army of goons, "Kraven" actually becomes mildly entertaining. The constant need to remind us that Sergei has animal-like superpowers result in multiple, borderline hilarious scenes. That ridiculous atmosphere is further supported by hammy performances from Russell Crowe and Alessandro Nivola. The script is equal parts convoluted and obvious, desperate to tease its comic book source material that it's also reluctant to embrace. As a figure of macho toughness and lady-charming charisma, Aaron Taylor Johnson falls totally flat.
110. She Is Conann
Making “Titane” look conventional and restrained in comparison, this endlessly bizarre and aggressively confrontational film is too bold to be dismissed as only self-indulgent arthouse fuckery. (Which, no doubt, it absolutely is too.) A series of vignettes that regurgitates exploitation movie and pulp fiction tropes as a miasma of non-stop transgression, this clearly has many thoughts on its mind. About artistic expression, sexuality, self-actualization, authority, cruelty, and the cycle of death and rebirth. Impossible to react to this with anything but a dropped jaw or total bafflement, I don't think I'm French or gay enough to appreciate it fully. But it's definitely an achievement, one that would send Robert E. Howard into convulsions.
111. Faceless After Dark
What begins as a clearly personal reflection from Jenna Kanell on the strange level of fame being a horror convention regular brings eventually reveals itself as a revenge fantasy against a garden variety of shitty people online: Trolls, perverts, conservative fuck-wits, Karens. It's entertaining for a bit but never quite gets as angry or edgy as it clearly wants to be. Kanell is fine in the lead up until she has to become a giggling lunatic, a shift that isn't justified and that she can't make works. Totally collapses by the end, with a politically incoherent and uneventful last act.
112. Vincent Must Die
A good example of a premise that easily could've supported a solid short film but eventually runs out of juice as a feature. The first half, devoted to a man mysteriously becoming the victim of violent attacks from everyone, plays out as absurdist comedy with a proper edge of paranoia. Developing this as a look at the mindset of someone who believes themselves to be a “targeted individual” is an intriguing idea. However, spinning this into a romantic-comedy in the second half never quite takes off. That proceeds a last third that increasingly feels like a desperate attempt to expand on a premise that worked better the least we understood about it.
113. Moana 2
Far too much of “Moana 2's” plot hinges on magical visions from the spirits of ancestors, glowing vortexes that take our heroes to other dimensions, and magical plot devices. The primary villain never actually appears on-screen, making the plot feel increasingly shapeless. Moana is pushed around by the plot, not a protagonist that directs it. She gets a whole host of sidekicks, characters lacking actual personalities. The film does presents some decently engineered action sequences but is seriously lacking in the chuckles. The songs mostly fall flat, without emotional melodies or a memorable lyrics. “Moana 2” feels like a sequel designed mostly to remind the viewer of what they liked about the first one. .
114. Transformers One
A film divided against itself. “Transformers One” manages to create a compelling brothers-to-enemies story for Optimus Prime and Megatron, as archetypal as good guy and bad guys come. The action scenes are also creatively directed. When the movie allows itself to go dark, it gets surprisingly grim. At the same time, this is constantly held back by being just another big studio cartoon for little kids. The celebrity-filled voice cast is bad, the actors all sounding so bored. Aside from the two leads, all the characters are obnoxious quip generators, deflating any sense of drama or tension in the story with lame jokes. Most annoyingly, the movie is scripted like a video game, with super-transformation and last minute power ups galore.
115. Smile 2
As dumb and cynical as the first “Smile” but embraces its inner trashiness to more entertaining results while relying less on annoying jump scares. (Though the ones that remain are a source of comedy.) There's still no interior logic to how the nebulous villain works but the first film's moronic “mental illness as a demonic disease” conceit works better when applied to a narcissistic, drug addicted, deeply unlikeable pop star. Naomi Scott goes for full camp in her shrieking performance, the gore is mean-spirited and creative, and swooping camera movements are bold. At 127 minutes long, I definitely got tired of the obnoxiously loud approach and they whiff it hard with the final death scene.
116. Self Reliance
A romantic comedy about gang stalking that could stand to be weirder, and meaner, more often. When Jake Johnson really goes nuts, or the threatening vibes elevate, is when this is at its best. (Though the celebrity cameos, funny at first, get overbearing by the end.) As an indie comedy about a guy opening his heart to human connections again, it's much more standard. Anna Kendrick marching out her Manic Pixie Dream Girl bit again wasn't going to change that.
117. Mudbrick
Serbian folk horror that chooses a suitably isolated and eerie location, a place where pagan worship and blood sacrifices still going on seems totally possible. Andrew Howard’s scowling, spiteful performance gives this one more forward-momentum than it probably would’ve had otherwise. I wish the film connected more of a line between its theme of generational trauma – broken parents producing broken children – with its ideas about ancient deities and demonic spirits. Eventually, this slips into abstraction and unclear time loop nonsense, which is a shame as the first hour builds up a decently creepy ambiance.
118. Immaculate
Utilizes the creepy weirdness of Old World Catholicism to create a decently spooky setting, which is frequently interrupted by loud jump scares. Sydney Sweeney is never believable as a naïve babe-in-the-woods, while her acts of rebellion feel like those of a petulant teenager. The film does not capture the sense of paranoia that its protagonist feels and her shift from loyal child-of-God to a woman who will do anything to escape never feels earned. However, once this becomes a brutally violent survival-horror film in its last act, I was finally won over. I guess the whole movie needed more crucifix bludgeonings and rosary garroting. Gutsy final scene!
119. Between the Temples
Directed in the rough mumblecore style, this is a messy character-driven dramedy that only works on any level thanks to some likable performances. Namely, Carol Kane's infinite charm largely helps make a character who is little more than a collection of quirks into someone you enjoy spending time with. Similarly, Jason Schwartzman's lead is defined by neurosis and tossed into a love story that makes little sense, leading towards an unbelievable finale... But I did enjoy the specificity of the Orthodox Jewish setting.
120. Jim Henson: Idea Man
Says a lot about this that, even with far more access to Henson's family and associates and far more resources, that this still lacks the depth of Defunctland's series on the dame topic. Yet this is still a relatively insightful retrospective on Jim Henson's life, career, and ambitions. Eventually, it turns into a fairly standard run down of his work and events, leading to a weaker second half. You can tell Ron Howard was really invested in the visual gimmicks of the framing device.
121. Wake Up
The premise of an unhinged survivalist security guard versus a group of teen activists in an IKEA after dark is a great idea. The decision to delve into the guy's psychological hang-ups is an interesting approach to the slasher formula. However, downplaying the kids' personality makes the film drag a lot in its middle half. The focus on the boobie trap aspect is not so interesting, moving towards a downbeat ending and nihilistic finale that isn't very satisfying.
122. Black Cab
The second would-be cult flick of the year that recognizes that Nick Frost's teddy bear-like physique could also be rather intimidating, given the context. “Black Cab” runs with this contrast more, Frost's character being both a pathetic, blokey man-child and an unpredictably violent brute. “Black Cab” combines this with the classic Vanishing Hitchhiker urban legend, an element it doesn't do nearly as well. The ghost scenes are full of visual clichés and obnoxious jump scares. Sadly, the film clearly runs out of ideas before its short runtime is up and ends up having little to offer outside Frost's burly physicality.
123. The Platform 2
Takes the effective metaphor for society the original presented and adds a new layer to it: Religion. That is enough to expand on the concept for a bit, especially watching the belief system inside the prison quickly go from reasonable practice to fanaticism. Also like the original, I'm impressed at how grotesque the violence and carnage becomes. Ultimately, this lacks the compelling protagonists of the first and gets increasingly muddled in its last third, despite containing some impressive imagery.
124. Sting
Frustrating, because it's so close to being my kind of thing. I like the apartment building full of quirky tenets, each one more fleshed out than you'd expect. The emotional story, of a dad trying to win over his frustrated foster daughter, is surprisingly sincere in its sweetness. Alyla Brown is likable as the bug-obsessed monster kid heroine. Yet "Sting" rarely feels like it takes off, instead playing like a lengthy prologue to a short-lived climax. Maybe this is because the titular giant spider is never developed into a personable threat and the film holds back on the gory, monster movie effects it clearly aspires towards
125. The Strangers: Chapter 1
Harlin's version can never capture the same foreboding as the original. It's heavier on the jump scares and drops the ball on the sense of isolation that was so important to the original and shows a sweaty attempt to build up a mythology around a trio of villains who were intentionally thinly sketched. As the movie goes on, it gets a little better at building tension. Madelaine Petsch and Froy Gutierrez have decent chemistry together. That "To Be Continued..." appears before the credit can't help but leave the film feeling unfinished and the audience unsatisfied.
126. Creeping Death
Extremely low budget slasher that draws its villain from Celtic folklore. The practical gore effects range from well-done to rubbery. Some scenes are a swirl of incoherent shaky-cam and others have some genuinely impressive imagery. I think the characters are supposed to be teenagers but are all played by thirty-somethings, making the whole film seem to be about man-children. An attempt is made to play their personal lives for pathos but it largely comes off as goofy. Despite all its flaws, there's a home-made sincerity to “Creeping Death,” most apparent in its insistence on packing every single frame with as much autumnal/Halloween atmosphere as possible. I'd like to see what this filmmaker could do with more time and resources.
127. The Beast
Three movies stitched together: An extremely slow costume drama, that verbalizes all its themes rather than depicting them; a relatively well done thriller about an Elliot Rodgers-inspired violent loner slowly closing in on a woman who has no idea she's his target; and a sci-fi framing device with fuzzily defined logic that I never entirely understood. Clearly, this is a film with a lot on its mind about loneliness, the need for human connection, emotion, and the recursive element to history. It's all conveyed in a detached, often vague fashion seemingly designed to test your patience. George MacKay is compelling, especially as the pathetic incel, but I think I'm too dumb to understand what this is going for. Features a good pigeon jump scare.
128. Backspot
“Whiplash” but for competitive cheerleading, in the sense that it shows an obsessive desire to get better destroying the body and eroding the soul. The detached, documentary style direction prevents us from getting a grip on the moral toll of these events however. The performances are mostly interior, keeping the feelings of our protagonist further away from the viewer. It ends in what feels like a meaningful place but a lot of this still gives the impression of simply watching stuff happen.
129. The American Society of Magical Negroes
The gulf in ambition between this film's first act and its second half is almost impressively wide. A cheeky premise that promises to tackle thorny topics of race and how black people exist in a white-led culture soon degrades into a standard romantic-comedy with some limp corporate satire thrown in. Justice Smith's deadpan delivery generates a few laughs, David Alan Grier gets some amusing moments to himself, and An-Li Bogan is cute but the script rarely gives them much depth. Not to mention this feels incomplete without an appearance from Morgan Freeman, Hollywood's foremost magical negro.
130. The J-Horror Virus
An improvement over Sarah Appleton's previous Shudder documentary, if only because it actually has access to the important filmmakers behind the chosen subject. Those interviews provide the best moments here, such as Shinya Tsukamoto describing a meeting with Gasper Noe or the original actress to play Sadako discussing (and then demonstrating) the character's body language. As a history of the subgenre, I'm not saying you won't learn anything as the scope is fairly deep... But it's also frustratingly narrow at other times, limiting itself mostly to the atmospheric ghost films of the nineties and 2000s. This is combined with at least one supposed expert who says some things that made me furrow my brow in frustration.
131. Strange Darling
A game of misdirection between the viewer and the filmmaker. JT Mollner is intentionally using our preconceived notions to catch us off-guard. As an exercise in non-linear storytelling and cinematic subversion, "Strange Darling" is reasonably well executed. The question must be asked though: To what purpose is this trickery invoked? There's no attempt to delve deeper into the villain's warped psyche, which is paired with some half-assed anti-#MeToo propaganda. Willa Fitzgerald and Kyle Gallner make convincing leads. The headshots and throat stabbings catch you off-guard. All of this suggests that "Strange Darling" could have been a fleshed-out story if it wasn't so enamored of its own twists and turns.
132. Twisters
As a disaster movie, this features some mildly distracting digital mayhem. As a rumination on climate change or the rich profiting over the poor's misery, it repeatedly refuses to comment. As a romantic comedy, in lovable hunky cowboy Glen Powell warms the frosted over heart of traumatized Daisy Edger-Jones, it works a bit better. "Twisters" is more knowingly campy than the original but nowhere near as funny. (Though it maintains the hilarious premise of "woman seeks revenge on the tornado that killed her loved ones.") Features a horrendously bad country soundtrack. The guy who made "Minari" directed this, not that you'd be able to tell if his name wasn't on it.
133. Dario Argento Panico
In many ways, a standard talking heads doc, where famous fans of Argento wax nostalgically about his influence on them. The behind-the-scenes tidbits we get from his collaborators are a little more insightful, at least from a historic perspective. However, this will occasionally feature an interview with a family member that sheds more light on the personal themes and neurotic quirks of the director. Dario himself is mostly relegated to a handful of cutesy scenes about his day-to-day life. I wish this engaged more with the artistic sensibilities of Argento's work, even if it is kind of funny that the interviewees do acknowledge how much his films dropped off in the nineties and 2000s.
134. I.S.S.
Hell of a hook here and it's enough to sustain some tension for about an hour. After a while, you start to realize that the characters never truly come to life, despite the efforts of a worthwhile cast. This builds towards an ending that is underwhelming, perhaps the unavoidable result of having such an eye-catching but fatalistic inciting incident. Doesn't help that so much of it is filmed like a TV show.
TWO STARS
135. The Devil's Bath
Glacially paced period drama about how much it sucked to be a depressed woman in 17th century Austria. Handsomely photographed and costumed with an occasionally moving lead performance from Anja Plaschg, it's also a motion picture were very little happens over what feels like a very long stretch of time that is content to keep its protagonist's interior life entirely interior. I feel like we could've gotten an autopsy of patriarchal control systems that constrain and punished women without risking putting me to sleep so often. The last movie I expected to have a dance party ending.
136. Ultraman: Rising
I hate to be this guy but I must ask: Why is an “Ultraman” movie about being a single father? Our protagonist is rather obnoxious for most of the movie, with a bizarre amount of the runtime focused on baseball. Lots of bathroom humor results as the baby kaiju is raised. The script seems to think simple nods towards a back story is the same as giving their villain actual depth. The tone shifts towards severe and downbeat suddenly in the last third before quickly undoing most of what might've been daring about all that. Some of the animation is flashy but I found the character models truly ugly.
137. Speak No Evil
Transplanting the original's critique on a culture of politeness was, obviously, not going to work with American characters, no matter how closely this remake copies several scenes. Instead, the far less incisive theme of toxic masculinity and a stupid husband not listening to his much smarter wife is presented. I don't think this is an especially clever observation but at least it's an idea! No use, the icy grimness of the original ending gives way to an utterly tedious extra act that fully Americanizes the story. By which I mean it adds shoot-outs, an explosion, trite home invasion tension, and explaining away everything ambiguous about the villains. It's a bummer too, as some decent cinematography and James MacAvoy's blustering, sinewy performance suggests this remake wasn't necessarily doomed to the mediocrity it eventually embraces.
138. Tarot
Teen-friendly horror junk that might've been fun if not for a few things. The large cast of one-note but colorful characters that get picked-off in bloody fashion basically makes this a slasher movie... Except the PG-13 rating means the camera always cuts away from the gory stuff. The monster designs seem decent but the overly dark photography makes them hard to see, more often than not. The jump scares push into the silly often and the mythology cooked up is nonsense. The cast isn't bad though, the settings are mildly atmospheric, the ironic stalking scenes are almost entertaining. In other words, if this had been made in the eighties, it might've been fun slop and not tedious slop.
139. Dune: Part Two
Doubles down on everything I find insufferable about “Dune:” An emphasis on long-standing rivalries between royal families, prophecies and engineered fates, arcane rituals and magical visions. All of it is delivered with a lumbering pace and a stiflingly seriousness. An attempt is made to invest the archetypal characters with some genuine heart but it's largely smothered by the sheer enormity of the material's self-importance. This leaves me with little to appreciate, outside of the obvious skill in the costumes, effects, sets, and cinematography and a handful of actors who go for camp. Such as Christopher Walken playing the Emperor of the Universe like Shakespeare and Austin Butler's performance as a glowering, shrieking cartoon cenobite.
140. Look Into My Eyes
A documentary on psychics that never acknowledges that, ya know, psychics aren't real. Instead, the focus here is on letting the subjects and their clients speak for themselves, only occasionally nodding towards the unlikeliness of what is happening. Neither smug mockery nor serious inquiry is the goal here. The film seems most focused on lulling us into a peaceful slumber, with its deliberately quiet tone and sleepy pacing. The result comes off as more indecisive than anything else.
141. The Front Room
As a supernatural horror movie, this is unforgivably half-assed. Exploiting creepy Southern Baptism bullshit for creeps is one thing but the script never resolves any of the otherworldly elements it presents. The presentation is obviously in the vein of “elevated horror,” with the opulent cinematography and set designs and how the social commentary is foregrounded. Instead, the actual goal here appears to be camp. Kathryn Hunter goes to grotesque lengths as the farting, shitting, screaming old biddy. The roommate from hell scenario is clearly played for absurd laughs. The tonal balancing act is seriously off and the film is never as funny, smart, or scary as it wants to be.
142. Compulsus
Absolutely impossible for me to have an opinion on this but: This is “Death Wish but for women,” in the sense that it refuses to form a coherent point about any of its ideas. All the dialogue is painfully didactic, making the film feel more like a Twitter thread than a motion picture. The decision to never show the men clearly is such an overwrought choice. The violence is kept all off-screen, another ponderous artistic decision that also can't disguise how awkward and terrible the fight choreography is. Features what must be among the year's most self-satisfied endings.
143. Alien: Romulus
The latest example of a sequel that operates more as an extended homage to the franchise's history, so determined to operate as a best-of reel that it literally reanimates a dead actor's likeness. This deficit of imagination is most evident during that climax, which lazily cobbles together monster parts to create its final boss. Tosses in expostionary dialogue exchanges that exist solely to tell us who these people are. The result is a series of set pieces centering on people it's difficult to care about. This is all the more frustrating because Fede Álvarez clearly understands the mechanics behind creating thrills.
144. Apartment 7A
In its best moments, "Apartment 7A" outlines how a patriarchal society sets up a structure of control designed to debase and manipulate women. It's a good looking movie, with opulent costumes, lovely sets, and cinematography that is claustrophobic. The highlight is a full-on Bugsy Berkeley style dance scene. James isn't ignorant on how to engineer some scares but makes the classic mistake of showing us too much. Julia Garner makes for a likable heroine, getting a lot of dramatic tension out of Terry feeling both lucky and increasingly trapped. Ultimately, can't stop itself from following too closely in the footsteps of the film it's connected to.
145. Werewolves
Most of the pre-release hype for this revolved around its heavy use of practical creature effects, which probably is the best thing about the movie. It's certainly not a script that essentially boils down to “The Purge with werewolves,” thinks calling things “motherfucker!” is the height of action movie one-liners, and feels vague allusions to social issues qualify as cutting commentary. While the werewolves look cool – especially those that get a defining gimmick – this is mostly composed of drably photographed, choppy action sequences that never pay off on whatever trashy fun the premise might have provided.
146. The Feeling That the Time for Doing Something Has Passed
Never before has BDSM seemed so boring! There's a deliberate contrast between the humiliations the protagonist undergoes in her sex life and what she faces in her professional and personal life. However, I'm not sure what point I'm suppose to draw from that. In general, I'm not sure what this practically plotless, largely dispassionate series of scenes is meant to represent. Clearly a portrait of a self sabotaging, unhappy young woman but it might've done too good of a job of conveying her malaise to the viewer...
147. Out Come the Wolves
Adam MacDonald made a second movie starring Missy Peregrym that foregrounds a dysfunctional man/woman relationship against a wild animal attacking in the middle of the forest. The first act establishes both men as extremely unlikable in different, passive aggressive ways. The wolf attacks are shakily directed and edited, robbing them of a lot of intensity. The last act features one of the worst motorcycle crashes I've ever seen, before winding towards an ending that seemingly confirms this script as somewhat incomplete. Peregrym gives a decent performance and there's some well-done gore gags but it's not enough to justify this one.
148. The Crow
Largely ditches the gothic romanticism of Proyas' “The Crow” for grounded, SoundCloud rapper tattooed realism. (But inexplicably keeps the Darkwave soundtrack.) Which is, you might have guessed, boring! In accordance with that philosophy, fucking everything is explained into the ground. Devoting more time to Eric and Shelly's relationship is an understandable instinct. Having Eric be a hesitant hero who takes a full hour to put the make-up on grinds the first half of the film into a miserable slog. This is also true of the decision to add a supernatural – though not especially colorful or interesting! – villain, grafting ungainly talks about a balance between heaven and hell, self-sacrifice, and magical mind control onto what should be a simple story. Bill Skarsgård clearly can't get an emotional read on the material and comically mumbles through a lot of his dialogue. The action scenes, when they finally arrive, are creatively gory but it all precedes a descend into murky, CGI myth-making that lacks any tragedy or heart.
149. Joker: Folie à Deux
The musical numbers, with their bright colors and stylized sets, almost tricked me into thinking this had some substance. The idea of someone unwittingly becoming the face of a movement is an interesting idea but Todd Phillips refuses to elaborate on what Joker means to anyone. As it did last time, the script gestures at big ideas, such as how society treats the mentally ill, desperate to mean something without saying anything. Instead, the formless narrative repeats the self-hating nihilism of punishing its protagonist. Oh yeah, it's also all the fault of heartless women. That approach sticks "Lee" – calling her Harley might remind viewers they are watching a comic book movie – with an incoherent arc. Why is she attracted to Joker, what does he mean to her? It doesn't matter, as she only exists to be another cross for Arthur to bear. All of this is a bummer because, when Joaquin puts on the purple suit and actually starts acting like Joker, he's good!
150. Hellboy: The Crooked Man
Certainly attempts to create a scary folk horror flick but the protagonist being a nearly indestructible demon child goes a long way towards draining any thrills. The 20 million budget which is reflected in the mostly interior sets that could be cheaply assembled. The action scenes are modest, with underwhelming CGI. Jack Kesy does an okay job of embodying the blue collar sensibilities of Hellboy but directly emulates Ron Perlman and flounders into melodramatics when trying to wring pathos out of the material. Unfocused and meandering, the script does not do a great job of tying its various subplots together and the cast members it introduces aren't compelling.
151. Wolves
One of those low-key thrillers so low-key that it's debatable whether anything much at all happens during most of its runtime. A decent attempt is made to take us into the protagonist's isolated world but Mark Nocent's performance is too stilted for that to truly work. One or two competently engineered moments of suspense can't make up for a story that's too vague, implying everything without actually giving the viewer much to latch onto. At least the turtle was okay...
152. Venom: The Last Dance
Mostly made up of stupid bullshit, a cobbled together story that is beholden to hacky clichés and tiresome foreshadowing. Multiple elements are introduced with grave importance before being forgotten a few scenes later. Action scenes become hard to follow thanks to the choppy editing and murky cinematography. Tom Hardy's commitment to playing an awkward loser is shown in the repeated humiliations he suffers. In the rare times the sequel puts aside its doofus storytelling and visual incoherence, I did laugh and enjoy myself. A slapstick heavy buddy comedy is hiding within this lumbering, preposterous attempt at a blockbuster.
153. Booger
Once the central joke reveals itself – a were-cat situation as some sort of metaphor for refusing to grieve – you quickly realize “Booger” has no other ideas on its mind. An attempt is made to play a human woman acting like a cat for both gross-out horror and comedy. Neither idea expands far beyond some gnarly hairballs or feline behavior. I kept waiting for a twist or for the script to do more with this idea. Instead, this degrades into surreal lighting and uneventful hallucinations. Considering it's all of 78 minutes, I suspect this was a short film hastily expanded into a feature. They sure got their money's worth out of licensing “The Pina Colada Song.” Good Heather Matarazzo cameo!
154. A Sacrifice
Strikes me as very funny that Eric Bana plays a respected author researching cults that gets so distracted by his new German girlfriend that he doesn't notice his daughter has been recruited into the very cult he's investigating. Knowing this was directed by Ridley Scott's daughter makes me tempted to read into the parental distance and Daddy Issues floating around this one. I wish the characters were more defined, the pacing wasn't so slow, the subplots weren't unnecessary and lacking tension, and the ending was not so abrupt.
155. You Can't Run Forever
“J.K. Simmons as a psycho on a senseless killing spree” is a good hook but, sadly, also the only thing this indie thriller has going for it. Truthfully, a lot of this is devoted to our teenage protagonist running away while Simmons slowly pursues her. Any tension this might have is voided by frequent cut-aways to other characters. When combined with a needlessly messy last third, it's apparent the film's writer/director – Simmons' wife, by the way – didn't have enough material for a feature runtime. The themes of trauma, betrayal, and a chaotic universe are hopelessly dopey, more so when the focus turns to the girl's routine back story.
156. The Watchers
M. Night's other daughter inherits some of his least desirable quirks as a writer. Namely, a penchant for deeply unnatural sounding dialogue, heavy-handed exposition, and lame twist endings. The film sets up so many concepts, rules and theories about its world, that it never bothers to follow. The natural end point of the story is reached and then the movie goes on for another twenty minutes. The laziest invoking of folk horror concepts I've yet seen, reducing the fair folk to generic boogeymen. Seriously unfocused stuff with a wildly overqualified cast but I did like the chase scenes through the shadowy woods.
157. Trim Season
An indecisive film. Despite ostensibly being a horror movie about marijuana – and featuring pot in almost every scene – it doesn't actually have anything to say about use of this particular substance. It has a classic slasher movie set-up, with a bunch of characters in an isolated location, but isn't a slasher movie. Instead, it's about a “Suspiria” riff with an incredibly underwhelming evil witch. The cast are all quite annoying, reduced to a few irritating personality quirks. Nice use of color though.
158. Woman of the Hour
Throws most of the actual true story away in favor of a highly fictionalized examination of seventies sexism, which leaves little room for subtly. Which is strange, when it reduces all of Rodney Alcala's actual victims down to summarized set pieces. Playing Alcala as a charming “nice guy” who hides his misogyny better than most, and Cheryl as a hyper-aware feminist, is the most obvious choices that could have been made. Attempts to make this into a proper thriller are as heavy-handed and overdone as its social commentary. Watching the original Dating Game episode is much more disturbing and informative.
159. Doctor Jekyll
A new decade brings with it a new attempt to relaunch Hammer horror. The cinematography and set design here suggests some understanding of gothic horror atmosphere. However, the narrative is disappointingly flat throughout, the characters never coming to life. This builds towards a muddled and deeply underwhelming climax. Worst yet, the filmmakers have mistaken loud musical stings, dull reveals, digitally distorted monster voices, and twitchy CGI for proper scares. Despite casting a trans actress as an explicitly trans version of Doctor Jekyll, the script refuses to engage with the queer elements of the premise! You're gonna have to try better than this, guys.
160. Starve Acre
We, as a society, officially have reached maximum capacity for moody, atmosphere-driven, English folk horror movies about grieving parents, set in isolated and chilly countryside, where most of the dialogue is said in hushed whispers, terse glances take up a large amount of screen time, and nothing much happens until the last half-hour. Not to say that “Starve Acre” isn't a decently photographed example, with some alright performances from Matt Smith and Morfydd Clark, and a mildly creepy animatronic rabbit. I simply do not believe we need anymore movies like this, is all.
161. Out of Darkness
A great premise – a monster movie set during the stone age – is squandered. As long as the threat is kept off-screen, as a merely suggested presence, some tension builds. The minute the truth is revealed, all the wind goes out of the movie's sails. That makes it clear that this is yet another indie genre movie that wanted to be about one thing – culture clashes at the dawn of mankind – but threw a monster in out of difference to horror's commercial appeal. The characters always seem like they are just about to become interesting. The title is apt, as much of the movie is way too fucking dark. Nice use of landscapes and some cool naturalistic lighting.
162. Wild Wild Space
Greatly overestimates how sympathetic I find Silicon Valley tech CEOs to be. Some mild tension is mined from the story of two companies with opposing approaches to space travel competing against each other. The handful of pessimistic predictions about low-orbit satellite technology stand in sharp contrast to the rhapsodizing tone this doc mostly takes towards its subjects. In general, far too much of this is devoted to simple one-on-one interviews with a handful of the same people.
163. V/H/S/Beyond
Sees the series once again getting bored with the video gimmick that is ostensibly its entire point. Several segments feature multiple camera angles that casually violate the found footage concept. The framing device is done like a television series and “Stork” reminds me of a video game in bad ways. “Fur Babies” ultimately lays its cards down too early. “Live and Let Dive” eventually becomes too focused on silly looking extraterrestrials and their weirdo powers. “Stowaway” eventually descends into incoherent weirdness.
164. It's What's Inside
If you're going to do a body swap premise, a few things should be certain. First off, your large ensemble should be defined enough that you immediately both know who these characters are and how they normally act. Ideally, such a collection of characters should be likable. “It's What's Inside” fails on both counts, as these people al range from terrible, to boring, to forgettable. As the script grows more dependent on the in-fighting, melodrama, and petty disagreements between the cast, the less and less I cared. There's a minorly clever twist at the end and the film certainly features lots of fast-paced editing.
165. Arcadian
Post-apocalyptic creature feature badly hampered by incoherently shaky visuals. The monsters are mildly neat looking, during the brief times we get a good look at them. The script feels greatly indebted to "A Quiet Place" and several other sci-fi coming-of-age narratives that came before. Features far more dune buggy action than anticipated but, predictably, far less Nicolas Cage than you'd hoped for based on his prominent placing on the poster.
166. Handling the Undead
The focus is so much on creating a chilly mood that the characters – of which there are far too many anyway – are always kept at a distance from us. We never truly get to know any of these people. Considering this is a rumination on grief, that makes it a lot harder to care about what they are feeling in these moments. The film is also glacially paced, made up of slow pans across the interiors of homes or far-off landscapes. There's definitely some powerful ideas in here, about the ability and inability to accept loss, but it's almost impossible to get involved with.
167. The Beach Boys
A great band and their great story is reduced to a series of talking heads – some of whom don't have much of anything to do with the Beach Boys – and a surface level reading of their existence. To the point that, whenever the film does acknowledge the weirder and harsher turns in the band's history – hey, Charles Manson – it feels like a complete left turn. Of course it is entirely too fair to Mike Love. Aside from some interesting archive footage and one or two good interviews, this offers very little to fans.
168. Argyle
Sam Rockwell and Bryce Dallas Howard are decent leads but have no chemistry together. The outrageous action sequences are ostensibly fun but are overpowered by globs of CGI and a lack of visceral punch. Not a single one of the jokes across the overlong runtime land. Every musical choice falls flat. Mostly, a narrative that prioritizes an endless series of eye-rolling twists over everything else, including basic coherence, is this one's undoing. Also, for a movie about a bestselling writer, the prose we hear is pretty bad.
169. Night Swim
Manages to make the incredibly goofy premise of a haunted swimming pool sillier the longer it goes on. There's exactly one decent jump-scare , one solid shock, and a whole lot of tedium. The film crosses more and more into unintentional humor, especially following a ridiculous exposition scene and a focus shift to an “Amityville” style personality change in the father. God bless Wyatt Russell and Kerry Condon for keeping straight faces throughout this.
170. Dirty Angels
There was a time when Eva Green starring in and Martin Campbell directing a women-led action ensemble should've been a sure shot. Alas, that time is not now. You'll have to wait over forty minutes for the action scenes to start. Once they do, you'll notice quite a lot of mediocre digital effects in them. A simple shot of a motorcycle jumping a trip-wire looks unforgivably bad. The melee action scenes are slightly better. Green doesn't do much but grimace, Ruby Rose stares blankly through a handful of scenes, Maria Bakalova seems like she might be having fun. The writing is so horrendously Islamophobic, you'd be forgiven for assuming this was made in 2005.
171. Time Cut
An extraordinarily sauceless motion picture, that utilizes its time travel premise for two or three easy laughs and nothing else. I wasn't blown away by “Totally Killer” but at least it had jokes! This draws attention to how little has actually changed since 2003, making me wonder what the fuck the point of nostalgia as a concept is. Anyway, the slasher scenes lack any passion whatsoever, reflective of a complete absence of tension in the plot. I guess who the murderer was within five minutes, this loss of creativity apparent in a boring mask choice too. Shot like a CW show except the night scenes are so fucking dark, I had to turn the brightness up on my TV to see anything happening in them. Half a star for the make-over montage scene. That was cute.
ONE AND A HALF STARS
172. Madame Web
By far the most egregious example of a studio trying to build a modern, blockbuster franchise around almost nothing. Dakota Johnson is so clearly, deeply uninvested in the material. The script foreshadows as many of its events as possible, while also leaving many plot points badly underdeveloped. A complete failure as a superhero movie, in that it barely features any costumed crimefighting and little in the way of compelling superpowers. I think all of the villain's dialogue is dubbed in? Ultimately, the movie never justifies its own existence, why we should care about the origin story of Spider-Man's uncle's co-worker.
173. Imaginary
What made me turn on this one, more than anything else, is the writing. Oh sure, the film greatly overestimates how scary teddy bears, kids making growly voices, and big black eyes are. There's more than a few goofy jump-scares. However, the utterly stilted exposition and groan-worthy dialogue – which renders the performances often unintentionally hilarious – constantly takes me out of the story. Moreover, more twists are thrown in until an already ridiculous plot is rendered totally shapeless. A better director could have added more genuine whimsy and creepy ambiance while a more polished script would've been less insulting to my intelligence.
174. Borderlands
Knowing that Eli Roth shot this as a hyper-violent R-rated flick, only for Tim Miller to reshoot almost the entire thing as a PG-13 “Guardians of the Galaxy” wannabe, explains some things about “Borderlands.” Such as why the dialogue seems to constantly have been ADR'ed or why the action scenes are incoherent mishmashes of green screen and mediocre stunts. Or why the plot is a chopped-up mess laden with exposition. (Not that this attempt to forge a coherent narrative out of video game bullshit had much of a chance...) It doesn't explain why the characters are simultaneously so thinly defined and also incredible annoying. Jack Black's Clap Trap is only the most blatantly irritating member among a group of one-liner spewing cartoon characters. Why is Kevin Hart playing a generic action hero, who occasionally lapses into typical Kevin Hart schtick? Mostly, how does Cate Blanchette maintain her dignity despite being smack-dab in the middle of this mess? All questions we'll never have answers to...
175. We Are Zombies
A world where zombies aren't violent flesh-eaters but second class citizens is an intriguing idea... Which “We Are Zombies” never truly explores. Instead, it spends time with its aggressively annoying characters, who are defined entirely by a handful of faux-comedic quirks. The script leaps across several plot points, none of which feel fleshed out, on the way to a senselessly gory finale that barely makes any sense. The zombie make-up is kind of cool and the premise of zombie sex workers – another hopelessly underexplored idea – had potential.
176. Rumours
Do you consider the observation that world leaders are self-involved narcissists hopelessly preoccupied with meaningless ceremonial gestures, driven by ego and their frustrated sex drives in the face of mounting apocalyptic circumstances, to be cutting edge political satire? This is the primary joke of “Rumours” and it is stretched out over an increasingly tedious runtime. There are more absurd touches here – lunch meat in a pocket, texting with a pedo-baiting chat bot – but they are mere distractions as the movie makes its primary point over and over again. A shame that such a top-shelf cast, including a very funny Charles Dance as the inexplicably British U.S. President, and some pretty cinematography is wasted on such a hopelessly self-indulgent, ponderous script.
177. AfrAId
An anti-A.I. movie that feels like it was written by A.I., incorporating every hysterical fear about modern technology in the most overheated and melodramatic way before heading towards a weirdly ambivalent ending. (Not to mention seemingly featuring actual A.I. “art,” undermining the premise.) Any time the story strays away from the home, it gets sillier in more childish ways, with every additional twist feeling hopelessly tossed in. The way overqualified cast can't get a bead on the flimsy material. Has Chris Weitz always been this big of a hack/
178. Mr. Crocket
Youtube videos and internet memes have begun to influence horror movies and the results are as dire as you'd expect. “Mr. Crocket” feels like an episode of “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” but with gore and swear words. By which I mean it has an overwhelmingly childish tone, an incredibly simple and silly script that flatly explains every aspect of the story, and all its attempts at scares come off something a ten year old would imagine. The monsters look kind of cool but this loud, annoying, extremely dumb movie proves the theory that we do not need more subverted children's shows with analog fuzz over them.
179. Destroy All Neighbors
Obnoxious attempt at a gore-soaked comedy that seems to think screaming "fuck" is the pinnacle of humor. The dialogue is grating, the editing is punishing, and the characters are incredibly annoying. Every joke falls flat and the writing is half-assed. Even a prog novice like me can tell that this has nothing but a surface understanding of the genre. There's some decent creature effects – I like the dancing intestines – and good for Jonah Ray for losing so much weight.
ONE STAR
180. Festival of the Living Dead
The Soska Sisters are now directing Tubi Originals and writing “anti-woke” comic books, because the film industry doesn't respect women, I guess. This is another one of those “unofficial sequels” to “Night of the Living Dead,” merely capitalizing on the classic's public domain status. The results are dire. The dialogue is a cacophony of screamed profanity. The characters are obnoxious zoomer stereotypes, always finding time to bicker in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. The actors have to pretend the lame pop-punk songs on the soundtrack are beloved classics. The setting must be the most sparsely attended music festival I've seen. Sometimes, plot points that weren't mentioned before are brought up or characters will change locations with little explanation. The gore is pedestrian but there's a neat moment where a zombie's face dangles off. Camren Bicondova has an adorable haircut and MacKenzie Grey shows up for one amusing scene.
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