Director Report Card: Neveldine/Taylor (2024)

8. Hellboy: The Crooked Man

Directed by Brian Taylor

Within the world of comic book, Mike Mignola's “Hellboy” comics are beloved for their highly stylized, heavily shadowed artwork and pulp influenced writing. Comics remain an insular world, Mignola's “Hellboy” stories belonging to an even more niche circle of characters outside the iconic worlds of DC Comics and Marvel Comics. When Guillermo del Toro adapted the books into two films in the 2000s, the character and his world became much more of a beloved cult classic. However, while the del Toro “Hellboy” films are adored among a certain audience, neither were massive blockbusters on the scale of “The Dark Knight” or “Spider-Man.” Del Toro, Ron Perlman, and the fan wanted a conclusion to this trilogy... But studios were indifferent. Moreover, it seemed Mignola and del Toro had a falling out of sorts. This began a long journey to make another “Hellboy” movie but not del Toro's “Hellboy III.” 

The motion picture that eventually emerged from this development was Neil Marshell's 2019 “Hellboy” reboot, starring David Harbour. And nobody liked it. Critics absolutely slammed it, the box office receipts were not stellar, and nearly every review expressed much more interest in seeing a third film with Ron Perlman over this. Only four years passed before rights-holder Millennium Media – still best known, in my mind anyway, for “The Expendables” movies and action movies of much lesser prestige – announced another reboot. An actor nobody had heard of was cast as Hellboy. Brian Taylor, ostensibly the more respected half of the Neveldine/Taylor duo that still hadn't made a movie in seven years, was hired to direct. Filming took place in Bulgaria, where Millennium Media shoots a lot of low budget schlock. Early reports repeatedly emphasized that this was going to be a grittier, more horror-centric take on the character. The exact same promise that was made about the previous reboot. 

In other words, every piece of news that came out about this new “Hellboy” reeked of cheapness and desperation, of some producers trying to squeeze a little more blood out of this brimstone. That impression wasn't dismissed once images, posters, and trailers started to crop up, each one making the film look more like it was designed for television than theaters. The idea that “Hellboy: The Crooked Man” – as the reboot was entitled – was the cheap, cash-in, straight-to-video “Hellboy” movie occurred to many. That prophecy was fulfilled when the negative buzz around the film had distributors pulling “The Crooked Man” from theaters a few weeks before it was scheduled to come out and instead sent it to video-on-demand. Now that the movies has been out a while, the few people who have watched it seem to like it even less than the previous reboot. As a fan of Mignola and sometimes Taylor's work, it's time for me to weigh in on whether this new “Hellboy” is worthwhile. 

Perhaps to further distinguish itself from previous “Hellboy” movies, “The Crooked Man” is set in 1959. Hellboy, that half-human and half-defender paranormal investigator for the B.P.R.D., is travelling via train through the Appalachian Mountains. His companion is Bobbie Jo Song, a new B.P.R.D. Agent eager to get out into the field. The strong evil presence in the valley causes their cargo – an accursed, giant spider – to go berserk. Hellboy and Song crash out of the train car and find themselves in the poor communities of the area. They soon come across a bewitched young man. This leads them on a quest into the local witchcraft community. Teaming up with a young soldier named Tom Ferrell, they cross a witch named Effie Kolb and a demonic entity known as the Crooked Man.

The “Hellboy” comics are definitely darker than the most well known cinematic adaptations of the character. Mignola's work draws extensively from world mythology, usually pulling threats and plot points from obscure folklore from all over. By making its setting in Appalachia – a corner of the globe I have some familiarity with – “The Crooked Man” explores concepts from folk magik. Witch balls are plot points, the ingredients to make one explained in one scene. We see a witch crawl into her abandoned skin, not unlike the Boo Hag of Carolina lore. Mason jars full of creepy bugs, zombies in abandoned church yards, and underground tunnels full of hostile spirits all put in appearances. In other words, “Hellboy: The Crooked Man” falls soundly into the subgenre we now know as folk horror, a premise Mignola's work has always been in discussion with. 

Another question is more pressing though. Does “The Crooked Man” successfully move the “Hellboy” film series into horror? Del Toro's film were more on the side of dark fantasy, while the previous reboot leaned on edgy, metal album cover imagery. “The Crooked Man” is certainly attempting to created scares. Ominous figures emerge from the darkness. As you'd expect, the titular villain is depicted as a creaking, cackling corpse. A notable sequence has Hellboy doing battle with a horde of zombies in a spooky church. The reboot has some visceral imagery up its sleeve, such as a cackling witch ascending up into the treetops, crows pecking someone's eyes out, or a snake emerging from, well, a very sensitive part of someone's anatomy. The atmosphere is more on the foreboding side here, invoking something closer to a seventies Hammer movie than a comic book blockbuster. The make-up effects used to bring the ghouls and creeps to life are, it must be said, decent too. 

Not that any of it is scary. I mean, most horror movies aren't. That the protagonist of this movie is a nearly indestructible demon child goes a long way towards draining any thrills. It's hard to build tension when you know that your hero won't be seriously hurt. At one point, Hellboy shrugs off getting run through with some iron fence posts. Moreover, Taylor and his team can't inject any of these scenarios, no matter how transgressive they might be, with any sort of dread or foreboding. Sequences, such as Hellboy being tossed through the air or the evil forces closing in on the heroes, are too flatly presented to generate much thrills. It certainly doesn't help that, in general, “Hellboy: The Crooked Man” is too fucking dark. I mean that literally. Like far too many movies this day, it's seriously underlit and a number of scenes are hard to follow on account of being so badly illuminated. Maybe this was an attempt to replicate Mignola's black ink heavy artwork but it backfires.

Since the Neveldine/Taylor partnership has been dissolved for a while now, both having made several movies as solo acts now, a few things have become clear. First off, the over-the-top and willfully offensive comedy that energized the “Crank” films seems to have mostly come from Neveldine's side of the collaboration. Brian Taylor, meanwhile, seems to be the one largely responsible for the distinctive, feet-on-the-ground visual approach of those movies. You can see a little bit of that in “The Crooked Man.” The opening titles occur suddenly on-screen, over some shots of the foggy, desolate landscapes. Bulgaria isn't not a perfect one-to-one duplicate of Appalachia but, if nothing else, it does provide a distinctive ambiance all its own. Moreover, you can see some of the frenetic camera work and editing here. Only in a few scenes and the film could stand to be a lot more distinctive. 

Unfortunately, it's very clear why “The Crooked Man” is both so darkly lit and so visually underwhelming. Wikipedia lists the film as having a 20 million dollar budget which is, in the scope of modern Hollywood blockbuster filmmaking, a pittance. This is reflected in the limited settings for the film. A large portion of “The Crooked Man” takes place in that spooky church, underground tunnels, nondescript cabins, or a – admittedly decent looking – dilapidated mansion. Mostly interior sets that could be cheaply assembled. The action scenes are modest, with little of the computer generated flash and bang we expect from a superhero flick. This is probably a good thing, as the CGI that is in the film is... Underwhelming. The opening scuffle Hellboy has with a giant spider is not the most convincing, the enormous arachnid rarely seeming to occupy the same plain of existence as the red-skinned hero. A large snake that shows up later looks faker. The more of “The Crooked Man” I watched, the more I began to suspect that the reboot emphasized the horror angle of the material because it was a lot cheaper to bring to life than elaborate action scenes. 

A clear lack of funds and an inability to generate much thrills from its assortment of horrors is not the only thing keeping this “Hellboy” from being better. An actor named Jack Kesy dons the blunted horns and Right Hand of Doom, who seems mostly known for television and supporting roles in bigger movies. Kesy, admittedly, does an okay job of embodying the blue collar sensibilities of Hellboy as a character. He groans the character's catchphrase of “Ah crap” with the right level of designation. If nothing else, Kesy is an improvement over David Harbour's petulant, angsty teenage boy take on the character in the previous reboot.. However, Kesy still stands in the shadow of Ron Perlman's pitch perfect Hellboy. In fact, from the inflection of his voice to his burly body language, Kesy seems to be directly emulating Perlman. “The Crooked Man” was doomed to remind viewers of better, earlier movies but a star who can't make the protagonist his own makes that all that more glaring.

Ultimately, “The Crooked Man's” plot seems a bit unfocused and meandering at times too. The script does not do a great job of tying its various subplots together. This is very clear in the detours it makes towards explaining Hellboy's origins. Throughout the film, the demonic hero is haunted by visions of his witch mother, who underwent a horrible sacrifice to bring him into his world. If Kesy is decent when grumbling as Hellboy in the face of danger, his performance flounders into melodramatics when trying to wring pathos out of the material. In fact, the scenes devoted to this subplot drag horribly. There's a thematic thread in “The Crooked Man” about sin and guilt, which these moments are obviously playing off of, but the film struggles to make us care about them.

Previous “Hellboy” movies also built up a lovable supporting cast, from lovesick fishman Abe Sapian to pyrokinetic Liz Sherman. Much like the previous reboot, “The Crooked Man” lacks both of these characters. The cast members it introduces to compensate simply aren't as compelling. Adeline Rudolph makes for a decent enough foil for Kesy's Hellboy to bounce off of. However, the script's attempts to build some pathos around her backstory – done via another awkward flashback – is never convincing. In fact, all the new characters would probably be a lot more interesting if the film didn't devote so much time to setting up their origins. Jefferson White as Tom Ferrell and Joseph Marcell as the blind Reverend aren't giving bad performances. The script simply mistakes exposition for development. The further into “The Crooked Man” we got, the more I was forced to conclude that I simply wasn't that invested in any of these characters.

I can certainly understand why so many people are deriding “The Crooked Man” so much. The film can't defeat the impression that it was quickly and cheaply rushed into production before an option or something expired. Trying to move “Hellboy” more into a horror direction isn't a bad idea. At times, when focused on its hero smacking zombies away, it actually almost works. In a more forgiving film, I could even see Kesy's take on Hellboy growing on me. However, much like the Marshall/Harbour reboot, “Hellboy: The Crooked Man” simply can't overcome a seemingly insurmountable expectations: I'd rather by watching del Toro's “Hellboy III.” Mignola co-wrote this script and it's probably more faithful to the source material than previous adaptations. It also can't recaptured the unique charm of the earlier, better movies. It is less obnoxious than the other “Hellboy” though. I'll give it that much but falls to much the same failings, in that it stands unimpressively in the shadows of the Hellboys that came before. [Grade: C]