CHUCK'S ROUNDHOUSE: Invasion U.S.A. (1985)

There are, interestingly enough, two different movies entitled "Invasion U.S.A." Both are about forces from Communist countries attempting a mass attack on the United States. The first is a terse melodrama from 1952, that depicts this situation as an all-too-possible hypothetical that Americans must be vigilant to guard against. The second "Invasion U.S.A.," on the other hand, is an exaggerated action movie from 1985 in which one super-tough, all-American bad-ass is nearly enough to defeat the Communist forces single-handedly. The contrast says a lot about the difference in how America was feeling about itself in the two eras. In the fifties, shortly after the end of World War II, atomic bombardment and invasion by Soviet forces was horrifyingly plausible. Knee-deep in the Reagan era, America was secure in its position as a superpower and extremely confident that its hyper-macho strength was more than enough to repel any challengers. Both films are propaganda but with pointedly different reactions expected from the viewer. Let's delve into the latter some more, as the 1952 film has a distressing lack of high kicks in it. 

After gunning down a raft of Cuban refugees, a Soviet-backed guerilla named Rostov arrives in Florida. He trades smuggled drugs for heavy artillery, with which he arms a small army of Russian, Latin American, and Asian solders. Rostov's forces begin a full-scale campaign of terror against the Southern United States, annihilating a suburban town and attacking crowded public spaces. While Rostov hopes to dismantled democracy, his scheme has another purpose: To find and destroy his old arch-nemesis, CIA agent Matt Hunter. Hunter, having already lost his best friend and gator farm to the terrorists, personally takes on the invading army. As chaos breaks out throughout the country, only his twin Uzis, indestructible pick-up truck, and extremely tight blue jeans may be enough to stop the violence. 

Norris and his brother, Aaron, would conceive "Invasion U.S.A.'s" screenplay with "Missing in Action" and "An Eye for an Eye" co-writer, James Bruner. It was the first of six films the star would make under a newly minted contract with the Cannon Film Group, commanding the biggest budget of his career. (Two million of which went to Chuck himself.) If any of Norris' eighties films can be said to have emerged directly from his mind, it's this one. The story was inspired by Norris' own fears that America was vulnerable to terrorist attacks backed by hostile superpowers. The villains in "Invasion U.S.A." do not represent a merely tactical threat to this country. They dress as cops and gun down Latin-American businesses, with the intended goal of turning Americans against the police and each other. We hear off-screen mentions of race riots and wide-spread chaos breaking out as a result, martial law being put into effect. These Red Commie Bastards are not only attacking America's infrastructure but attempting to destroy the ideas that build this country as well. 

This is evident in the movie's most histrionic sequences. The villains strike in common places, targeting families and children. They blow up a peaceful suburb and we see children injured in the aftermath. Key sequences have them attempting to destroy a church full of praying Christians and a school bus packed with singing kids. The film is set around Christmas, carols and festive decorations contrasting with the mass violence that ensues. This is done not only because it means shopping malls are full of shoppers but also to demoralize us by destroying a holly, jolly celebration. The terrorists – who are depicted as Soviet, foreign, and directly involved in drug and sex trafficking – in "Invasion U.S.A." are an existential threat to American identity. An identity which is pointedly Christian, capitalistic and submissive to authority. (And, to give Chuck and his team some credit, multiracial. Though the bad guys also being made up of different skin colors, and the local Latin community being so easily invited towards violence, kind of muddies any intentional message there.) "Invasion U.S.A." directly reflects the paranoid, right-wing viewpoint of its leading man, in which innocent red-bloodied Americans who only want to shop and pray to Jesus are under threat by Marxist lunatics determined to undermine everything we hold dear. 

Many people believe these things utterly sincerely, now as then. However, it is difficult to take “Invasion U.S.A.” too seriously. Part of this is because of budgetary restraint. Golan and Globus spent twelve million dollars on the film, quite a lot by Cannon standards. You can certainly see that money up on the screen. The final act features an entire fleet of tanks clogging the streets of Atlanta. When the explosion arrive, they usually of an impressively massive size. At the same time, this siege still seems rather quint by international standards. This is less an invasion of the entire United States than it is several parts of Florida and Georgia. The only credits play out over Chuck sailing across the Everglades in an air boat, his glorious locks blowing in the breeze. This clarifies early on that, by “U.S.A.,” the title is referring more to the rural corners of this country, rather than the centers of its economic and political power. The final battle takes place mostly inside a non-descriptive office building, with some bloody squabbling on the street below. In many regards, “Invasion U.S.A.” got a proper amount of bang for the buck expended. At the same time, the film's scope falls far short of what it is clearly meaning to intend. 

The other reason one can laugh at such blatant, fairly unhinged propaganda is the degree of ridiculousness that infest every aspect of it. Joseph Zito is back in the director's chair again, after “Missing in Action,” and he indulges in even more orgiastic displays of pyrotechnics. The suburban neighborhood and shopping malls were real locations about to be demolished and refurbished, meaning the production team were allowed to truly blow them up. The fireballs are massive, the debris tossed into the air generous, the flames consuming a helicopter and multiple embankments. One notable blasts has a burst of flame coming through a wall and right at the viewer. Every time Chuck fires his machine guns, there's a spray of bullets, sparks, and bloody squibs. At one point, he blows through an entire wall with some bullets. Lots of stuntmen earned their pay by tumbling through the air. Multiple car chases and crashes ensue, the camera often attached right to the sides of the careening vehicles and proudly displaying the twisted wreckage hurdling towards us. The film's mayhem is so excessive that it leaves reality far behind, rising to a level of cartoonish carnage. 

What truly makes “Invasion U.S.A.” a display of delirious camp is Mr. Norris himself. His previous heroes usually had romantic subplots or family members to add some degree of humanity to him. “Code of Silence” and “Missing in Action 2” both showed the star playing fallible men capable of being injured and humbled. Not so in “Invasion U.S.A.” Matt Hunter wears skin-tight denim that often leaves his chest hair fully displayed but it seems to be the most effective armor of all. He rarely has to reload his firearms. Not that he needs guns, as his equally impervious pick-up truck smashes through enemies on multiple occurrences. At two separate points, the film seemingly depicts Hunter as able to teleport, disappearing from the enemy's line-of-sight and reappearing on the opposite of them. Chuck is never anything but a steely-eyed murder machine here, croaking incredibly goofy one-liners like “I'll hit you with some many rights you'll be begging for a left.” He doesn't even kick people that often, though when he does the film treats it as a visual punchline. He's more brutal than Braddock and more of a Lone Wolf than J.J. McQuade. 

Some token attempt is made to provide Matt Hunter with identifiable human emotions. He banters with his alligator hunter friend for two scenes before he's killed. He gets annoyed with the CIA recruiter who reaches out to him and occasionally expresses grief over the senseless destruction he witnesses. Melissa Prophet appears as the reporter who seemingly follows Hunter from action scene to action, a character that would be a love interest in a less insane movie but merely bugs him here. (Chuck wanted Whoopi Goldberg to play this part and was so annoyed that Zito wouldn't cast her that he refused to work with the director ever again.) Instead, the only truly meaningful relationship Hunter seems to have with anyone is with Rostov. The promise Hunter made to him that it's 'time to death” is repeated over and over, like an echo the two men can't escape. The guys are so obsessed with destroying each other that it seems to drive them more than any political ideology. Destroying capitalism is a bonus for Rostov and saving America is a side gig for Hunter on the way to finishing the business he started. If Norris' performance is one of steely faced, macho determination, Richard Lynch plays the villain as a wide-eyed, teeth-gritting lunatic. 

The mere thought of Hunter is enough to drive the already unhinged Rostov to uncontrollable acts of violence. Such as slamming a coke sniffing straw into a woman's nose before throwing her out a window or shooting Billy Drago in the dick. Upon dictating that Hunter is in the same room as him, Rostov begins blasting wildly and erratically with a machine gun. It's as if he has no control over his passions. Neither Rostov nor Hunter have any interest in the women. When they finally prepare for their final confrontation, Hunter extends a phallic rocket launcher and Rostov's raging face seemingly shows a moment of satisfaction. That is before exploding in an orgasmic fireball, body parts fluttering out a window as the smoke and flames fade. And then “Invasion U.S.A.” abruptly ends, its purpose complete. 

In other words, “Invasion U.S.A.” is a film that one can either dismiss as totally brain-dead nonsense, vulgar popular propaganda with little redeeming value, or action entertainment so absurd as to become ecstatic. If “Missing in Action” was Chuck Norris' “Rambo” moment, then this is his “Commando” moment, playing a practically amoral ubermensch that slaughters a tidal wave of thugs on the way to dispatching his homoerotically obsessed nemesis. It's not as brilliant as that camp masterpiece, because Norris only has a fraction of the charisma of Arnold. However, it is a hysterically goofy piece of excessive explosion cheese that must be treasured by fans of things such as these. Norris would later say he regretted the movie a bit, finding it a little excessive for his taste. Cannon would try to make a sequel, recasting Matt Hunter with Michael Dudikoff and basically making an unrelated film. It's not Chuck's best movie but it is one of his most ludicrous and that itself is an achievement. [8/10]

[THE CHUCK OF NORRIS: 4 outta 5]
[X] Facial Hair
[X] Jumps or Kicks Through a Window or Wall
[X] Performs Spin Kick or Spin Punch to Enemy's Face
[X] Shows Off His Hairy Chest
[] Sports Some Cowboy Getup*

*The female lead repeatedly refers to Chuck as “cowboy” but only the oversized belt buckle screams giddy-up to me.