Last of the Monster Kids

Last of the Monster Kids
"LAST OF THE MONSTER KIDS" - Available Now on the Amazon Kindle Marketplace!

Friday, October 7, 2022

Halloween 2022: October 7th



Where does science fiction end and horror begin? In the 1950s, when drive-ins were flooded with movies about bug-eyed invaders from space, the genres were almost one and the same. Even into the modern day, they remain sister genres. High-minded sci-fi authors would hate to admit this but themes of rapidly advancing science, extraterrestrial intelligence, and speculative technology can be used to horrify as much as they can to inspire. Years back, I recall seeing an illustration of iconic movie monsters from the fifties. Alongside unquestionable horror icons like Godzilla, Christopher Lee's Dracula, and the Creature from the Black Lagoon was “Forbidden Planet's” Monster from the Id. Now, “Forbidden Planet” is a landmark sci-fi movie but does it qualify for inclusion in the horror genre too? Let me investigate further. 

Twenty years after an expedition team is sent to distant planet Altair IV, a spaceship led by Commander John J. Adams is sent to investigate. They find the brilliant but secretive Dr. Morbius as the sole surviving member of the original crew. Morbius lives with his beautiful daughter, Altaira, and his robot servant, Robby. He continues to investigate the mysterious technology left behind by the planet's former occupants. Adams and his crew are soon threatened by a strange, partially invisible entity. The more Adams digs into what Morbius has been up to, the clearer it becomes that this monster is responsible for the death of the previous crew... And that it's connected more to Morbius than even the doctor knows. 

Watched in 2022, “Forbidden Planet” feels like the archetypal 1950s sci-fi movie. It has a perfectly circular flying saucer, a cartoonish monster, a stout-chinned hero, a space-babe in fantastical outfits, goofy ray guns, and sparks flying off obscure devices. Yet “Forbidden Planet” was far from some low-budget cheapie. It was a major studio production, in brilliant color and shot in super-wide CinemaScope. In fact, the film's production design is impressive to this day. The blueish green skies and desert-like landscapes of Altair IV are still eye-catching. The colorful, eccentric interiors of Morbius' swinging sci-fi pad are pretty cool. The deeper into the alien laboratory “Forbidden Planet” goes, the more immersive its world gets. The buzzing technology, bridges, and towers of the planet's inner working are still incredible visuals. 

I guess the main difference between horror and sci-fi is intent. Horror seeks to horrify, obviously, while sci-fi is more about presenting these futuristic ideas. For most of its run time, “Forbidden Planet” is definitely about exploring this setting. While it might be a forbidden planet, it looks pretty hospitable at first. Robby the Robot escorts people around on a cool, hovercraft device. The soft-spoken, deadpan robot can replicate any food or material, providing the perfect housemate. There's a goofy, frankly easily excised subplot about Robby helping the ship's cook create whiskey. Glamorous Altaira can have any fabulous outfit she wants and is friends to all the animals, ranging from deer to tigers and monkeys. Altair IV is a paradise of sorts. (A very 1950s paradise, as Commander Adams chastises Altaira for tempting his men with her female wiles, right before seducing her himself.)

While “Forbidden Planet” definitely feels like a cozy sci-fi travelogue at times, with scenes of Robby zapping a mischievous monkey or Altaira skinny-dipping, conflict sets in eventually. About an hour in, after Morbius shows off all the technology of the extinct Krell race, the monster appears. The unseen creature is only visible when pressing against a force field, revealing a demonic and fearsome face. It makes an impression when attacking one of the crew, tossing his body through the air. Its feet leave hideous prints in the sand. Yet the reveal that the Monster from the Id is exactly that, a manifestation of Dr. Morbius' subconscious desires, is the film's most powerful idea. Horror, in its base form, is about turning unconscious ideas into the flesh. This makes the Monster from the Id a frightening concept, a terrifying projection of the thoughts and feelings we can't control. 

Much has been written about “Forbidden Planet's” connection to Shakespeare's “The Tempest.” (Which is definitely overstated.) The cast maybe doesn't take the material as seriously as the Bard but they are clearly focused. Walter Pidgeon's resounding voice is well utilized as Dr. Morbius, as he makes even the dullest sci-fi exposition sound grand. Anne Francis earns her place in the “Rocky Horror” theme song, projecting a nymph-like quality that is teasingly sexual but also entirely innocent. A young Leslie Nielsen has the unenviable position of playing Commander Adams, the character that most reflects the movie's antiqued morality. It's hard to like this guy too much when he's telling his men not to have fun, murdering a tiger, and slut-shaming the female lead. He settles into the role of sci-fi hero eventually. 

Robby the Robot would be the movie's break-out star, starring in one other film and getting countless guest spots afterwards. It's easy to see why. Marvin Miller's voice gives the machine a quietly deadpan quality that is endlessly charming. Not to mention he just looks immediately striking. I've got a soft spot for the bucket of bolts myself. Elements designed to comfort or inspire awe, like Robby, ultimately keep “Forbidden Planet” out of the horror genre entirely. Yet the Monster from the Id is still an impressive, scary creature that probably deserved a little more screen time. “Forbidden Planet” is still a classic regardless, whose special effects and experimental theremin score make an impression to its day. [7/10]




Four films in, Blumhouse was clearly confident in the “Paranormal Activity” series. With box office totals still running high, it was decided to create a sub-series to the found footage franchise. This new strain of “Paranormal Activity” would be specifically targeted at the Latino community, in hopes (I assume) of capitalizing on horror's evergreen appeal to non-white audiences. And then “Paranormal Activity 4” made 65 million less than part three, becoming the lowest grossing and worst reviewed entry thus far. At which point, “Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones” went from being the kick-off to a new spin-off series to just the fifth movie. Signifying Blumhouse's loss of faith in their trademark money-maker, “The Marked Ones” would see the series moving from its trademark October release date to the dumping grounds of January. 

In 2012, recent high school graduate Jesse Arista becomes fascinated with a camera. He uses it to document the strange things his downstairs neighbor, rumored to be a bruja, seems to be doing. After she's seemingly killed by a former classmate, Jesse and his friends investigate. They discover tapes, books, and notes about the occult. Soon, the trio is using these artifacts to perform magical acts together. Yet it becomes apparent that Jesse has made himself the target of a demonic conspiracy by letting these forces into his life. As an evil force takes him, his friends work to rescue him from a familiar coven.

It must've been evident to Jason Blum and his underlings that the familiar “Paranormal Activity” scares were starting to loose their bite. “The Marked Ones” does attempt to move the series in a new direction. It abandons the nighttime footage gimmick and pulls back on the fake-out jump scares. There's at least one excellent jump scare in the movie, when someone unexpectedly emerges from a trap door in the floor. A simple bit of technology is still used to communicate with the demon – a Simon game this time – but “The Marked Ones” has a little more fun with the series' hallmarks. As the film goes on, an element of squirming body horror is introduced. Jesse's possession has a physical effect, pulling a black thread from his eye in one scene. There's even a little bit of action in the last half, with a car crash and a shootout. It's a nice change of pace. 

“The Marked Ones” might set out to mix things up after part four's underwhelming response, it does take something from that otherwise mediocre sequel. It centers likable young people as the main characters of the story. Jesse and his friend Hector, the usual cameraman, are goofy teenagers. They are interested in girls, doing dumb-ass stunts, and hanging out with friends. When suddenly developing demonic powers, Jesse uses this to mess around. He makes Youtube videos of him doing spiritually assisted skateboard tricks or hovering in mid-air. This brings “Chronicle,” a superior found footage film, to mind. The kids are mostly pretty likable and watching them screw around provides “The Marked Ones” with its most entertaining moments.

Unfortunately, the fifth “Paranormal Activity” is destined to repeat the mistakes of the last few sequels. At first, the demonic subplot is treated like a mystery the kids are investigating. There's a hot minute where I was almost invested in this stupid bullshit. The youngsters treating the occult as their plaything, digging more into this unusual discovery, is a fun idea. Yet , once the possession angle takes precedence, the doldrums kick in. Watching Jesse loose himself to demonic influence is uninspired. There's a frankly embarrassingly bad scare, where the boy floats in the air. The last act turns the focus on those witches again, a ridiculous element that only gets sweatier as the story progresses. I know I sound like a broken record at this point but I simply don't care about this stuff. I don't understand how a series about ghostly activity occurring while we sleep turned into a franchise about comically evil witches and reheated demonic bullshit. 

By this point, the found footage aspect of the series is nothing but functionary. You could tell this entire story as a traditional narrative film without changing a thing. I don't know why half this shit was being recorded. Changing the cultural background to a Latino community is a welcomed shift of scenery. Yet I do question the cultural sensitivity in eventually bringing gang-bangers into this story. The on-going moral of this franchise – don't invite the supernatural into your life and witches are real and evil – is also increasingly worthy of an eye roll. Yet “The Marked Ones' still earned some positive notices in 2014, even if the downward slide at the box office continued. The film starts out stronger but looses sight of things too quickly. [5/10]



Tales of the Unexpected: Royal Jelly

Here's a rare episode of “Tales of the Unexpected” that unambiguously moves into the realm of the supernatural. Beekeeper Albert and his wife Mabel recently welcomed a daughter into their lives. Mabel is worried that their baby is underweight. After giving a TV interview about royal jelly, Albert gets an idea. He begins to feed their daughter royal jelly behind his wife's back. It works and the baby begins to flourish. In fact, she grows so quickly that Mabel becomes concerned. After Albert reveals the truth, she notices something terrifying about both her husband and their daughter. 

“Royal Jelly” works best when playing up the natural anxieties of parenthood. Susan George plays Mabel as a raw nerve of a woman, worried sick about her baby. At first, it seems her husband – a fittingly boorish Timothy West – is ignorant to her suffering. He watches himself on TV as she puts up with a screaming, fussy baby. Yet once he takes over feeding their daughter, that's when things shit starts to get weird. There's a suggestion here that men have no place caring for children but “Royal Jelly” seems to speak to a general fear new mothers have. That neither they nor their partner aren't good enough to be parents and that their offspring is going to suffer because of it. 

As an episode of horror fiction, it's easy enough to predict where “Royal Jelly” is going. As the inevitable reveal grows closer, things start to get a little silly. Albert starts to pepper his speech with buzzing. The TV show only hints at the strange transformation that is more explicit in Roald Dahl's story. It does lead to a memorably bizarre ending, even if the production values of seventies British television can only hint at things. Yet I still enjoyed watching this play out, even if its text counterpart is far more unsettling. Once again, Roald Dahl's host segments are deeply sardonic and avuncular, contrasting in a quirky way with the episode's far darker content. [7/10]




Nineteen episodes into the series and “The Munsters” finally does an episode really about Eddie. The boy is mad about “Eddie's Nickname,” storming home from school because the kids have started calling him “Shorty.” Grandpa decides to help by mixing up a potion that's supposed to make Eddie taller. Instead, the concoction makes the grade-schooler grow a full beard on his face, making him more embarrassed. Eddie remains the focus in “Bats of a Feather.” When Spot refuses to go to the boy's school for show-and-tell, Grandpa insists his bat Igor go instead. When Igor flies away, Grandpa to turn into a bat and goes in his place without telling the boy. This becomes a problem when Eddie trades the bat for a squirrel. 

I don't know why a werewolf would worry about hair sprouting from his body yet Eddie rocking a full beard is still worth a laugh. The sight gags and dialogue are balanced here. A scene where Grandpa trains Eddie how to box has more than a few good lines it. Butch Patrick gets a good line about going to bed early. Paul Lynde comes back as the family doctor and his exasperated shock at the Munsters' appearances is a fun good. This episode is unusual featuring several references to then modern pop culture. Herman is reading Little Orphan Annie in the first scene and Eddie references it again later. The Frankensteinian dad compares himself to Robert Young and there's a shout-out to a baseball player I should probably recognizable. Lily is still being written kind of bitchy.

“Bats of a Feather” is an episode that nicely escalates in silliness as it goes on. Only on this show could a premise begin with a dragon not wanting to go to school and end with a grandfather, in the form of a bat, nearly being sent into outer space. (This is the first time we get a good look at Spot, who resembles a fire-breathing T-Rex. Igor also appears to have undergone a growth spurt.) There's even a moment of two bats speaking with each there, their squeaking subtitled for our ears. It's also hard to undersell the inherent comedy in a rubber bat flying into a wall. That's a extremely silly subplot that comes full circle in a totally absurd way at the very end. 

This is one of the “Munsters” installment mostly devoted to normal people reacting to the monstrous brood. When its a stewardess on an airplane, getting more freaked out by the family, it produces laughter. The air-and-space scientist backing through a glass wall when Herman shows up is another solid gag. When its Eddie's teachers reacting to his pet bat, or some soldiers confused by Grandpa's style of dress, it's a bit more tiresome. Still, I laughed plenty at this one, so I can't complain. [Eddie's Nickname: 7/10 / Bats of a Feather: 7/10]

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