OSCARS 2020 LIVE BLOG

7:45 - Welcome to Film Thoughts' eleventh annual live blog of the Oscars ceremony!

As I posted earlier today, I managed to see every single movie nominated this year. So, needless to say, I am very excited for this year's ceremony. No host again, so hopefully this will be as smooth and well-paced as last year. Who will win? Who will be snubbed? Will I drink too much tonight? All will be revealed soon enough! If you've followed along before, remember to reload often to see my meandering, bullshit thoughts tonight.

7:59 - And here we go!

8:00 - This is the surprise guest they were just talking up. I'm old and don't know who she is.

8:01 - Well, she's a good singer whoever she is! And this is a pretty cute opening.

Lots of good, not-nominated film represented in those back-up dancers.

8:03 - I don't know who this guy is either! I am a fucking dinosaur!

8:05 - Celebrating black artists and women by... Not nominating many of them.

8:06 - Welcoming back some former host, to celebrate the fact that we don't have to hear any of their stupid jokes tonight.

Whooa, topical humor.

8:08 - Why the fuck is Jeff Bezos here?

8:09 - Lots of swings and misses in this opening monologue.

Lol, they couldn't find Eddie Murphy in the audience.

8:11 - Alight, a few jokes and right into the categories. Good.

Heading into Best Supporting Actor. Looks like Brad Pitt will be our first winner of the night.

8:13 - The montage editor is working hard this year.

8:15 - Joe Pesci couldn't be here tonight, I guess. And a well-deserved first win of the night.

The first of what will be, I'm sure, many jabs at the Impeachment fiasco.

8:16 - Yes! Give Stunt Coordinators an Oscar category! Awesome speech, Brad.

8:20 - Of course, as much as I want a Stunt category at the Oscars, it's not like the Academy would actually nominate the films that deserve it the most. What are the odds of something like "John Wick: Chapter 3" or "Triple Threat" getting nominated? The Academy would just nominate all the same shit they always nominate. "Joker" and "The Two Popes" would've been nominated if that category existed.

8:22 - Yeah, Animated Features! Mindy repping for cartoons tonight in a nice speech.

"I Lost My Body" was fine but I'm still annoyed Netflix stole GKIDS' token slot. "Klaus" sound like it'll win.

8:23 - Or they could just do another year where they give it to whatever Disney/Pixar put out. To be fair, "Toy Story 4" probably was my favorite of the nominated movies. It was a weak category this year. So many good films the Academy could've nominated instead.

8:25 - And now Animated Shorts! I hope Pixar wins this one too. "Kitbull" was frigign' cute.

"Hair Love" was cute, so This is Fine.JPG. Does this mean the director of "Bebe's Kids" has an Oscar now?

8:27 - The first of what will probably be several Kobe shout-outs tonight. Josh Gad repping for dub actors out there. I was really hoping we'd get an Adele Manzel call-back tonight.

8:30 - The Castilian Elsa has a nice voice. You can tell these lyrics do not translate the smoothest into some of these languages.

8:32 - That was an interesting performance. Kind of worked better in theory than execution.

8:34 - These M&M commercials are mildly annoying.

8:36 - Kelly Marie Tran's enthusiasm is infectious. And here comes Keanu to double-down on those chill vibes.

Is Diane Keaton okay? She seems nervous.

8:38 - I have no idea what will win Best Original Screenplay but I'm hoping "Parasite" gets it. I love Tarantino but he has two of these already.

8:39 - Loved Diane Keaton's little pratfall there. Bong!!! Please let this be a start of a wave of wins for "Parasite."

8:42 - Wait, they haven't played a single person off yet this year? Good lord, I'm shocked.

Best Adapted Screenplay is a really weak category this year. Christ, I hope "Joker" doesn't win, considering it's barely adapted from the comic books. I guess I'm rooting for Greta.

8:44 - "The Two Popes," for some reason. I didn't know it was based on a play but I am not shocked.

I think I called this one. I'm glad Taika Waititi won an Oscar but I wish it was for one of his better movies. Did the camera guy just have a stroke?

8:45 - A few minutes in and Taika's speech is already utterly delightful.

8:46 - "Please welcome Actual Cannibal Shia LeBouf!"

In Best Live Action Short, I rooting for "Nefta Football Club" but I'm betting one of the sappy ones win.

8:48 - That wasn't awkward at all. "The Neighbor's Window" wasn't very good but the best shorts almost never actually win.

8:52 - Oh fun, a Oscar-specifics "The Conners" ad. Apparently they are doing a live episode?

8:53 - My Mom just said "One is wearing a shower curtain and the other is wearing drapes." What the fuck is this bit they are doing?

8:55 - I'm glad the audience is loving these jokes because they are physically hurting me.

The Production Design in "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood" was so amazing.

8:56 - And it just won! "Parasite" also would've been an acceptable answer, Oscar.

8:58 - Oh god, they are gonna sing. I loved Billie Eillish's reaction there.

8:59 - Humor is so subjective. Congrats to everyone who enjoys the comedic stylings of Kristen Wigg and Maya Rudolph. As for Costume Design, I have no opinion on who wins. I'm just glad "Joker" didn't win.

9:01 - Oh wow, that was a short speech.

I love how they just go randomly into the song from that random Christian movie that was nominated for some damn reason. (Apparently, the Academy has a hard-on for Diane Warren.)

9:03 - It's a mediocre song from a bad movie. But at least Chrissy Mitz is singing her heart out. Good for her.

9:06 - Can Google tell me where the Jean Rollin beach is?

9:07 - I'm assuming we are headed into Best Documentary now? "American Factory" is my pick, though everyone else seems likelier to get it.

9:10 - Oh nice, I'm glad "American Factory" won! My favorite of the bunch.

9:12 - The co-director swooping in there to get his speech in. Which lead us to our first play-off of the night!

9:13 - The Documentary Shorts was a much stronger slate. "Walk Run Cha-Cha" was my fave of the bunch but I'm betting "In the Absence" or "Learning to Skateboard" win it.

9:15 - "Learning to Skateboard" was probably my second favorite of the slate, so I'm okay with it winning. Good speech.

9:16 - Best Supporting Actress! It's almost definitely Laura Dern's night but I honestly wish ScarJo would get it. She was the best part of "Jojo Rabbit." "Richard Jewell" and "Bombshell" were middlebrow movies but I genuinely thought Kathy Bates and Margot Robbie were great.

9:18 - I love Laura Dern and I know a lot of other people who do. But she's given so many better performances than "Marriage Story." It was such a self-consciously showy part. Dern was better in "Little Women," honestly.

9:20 - All of that aside, Laura Dern's speech is fantastic. Of course it is. Laura Dern is amazing.

9:25 - Hello, Anthony Ramos! I don't know who you are!

9:26 - HOLY COW, A "T.U.R.T.L.E. POWER" SHOUT-OUT AT THE OSCARS!

9:27 - I know I'm always hard on the Oscar montages but they are genuinely good this year. Shrugs

9:29 - I am unironically adoring this Songs montage. God, I like Oscar montages now. I must be old now. And here's Eminem for some reason!

MOM'S SPAGHETTI!

9:31 - I don't know why Eminem is performing but it is admittedly enlivening the evening some. Is this an anniversary year for "8 Mile" or something? Or is this to make up for him not being there to accept his win for this song?

9:32 - Martin Scorsese does not look like he's appreciating this, lol.

9:37 - Salma's pun game is strong.

I would love "Ford V. Ferrari" to win some technical awards but I fully expect "1917" to sweep these.

9:38 - ...or not! I'm glad so many of my picks are winning tonight.

And some shout-outs to the late, great 20th Century Fox. Yes, let's not accept Disney's erasure of film history.

9:40 - I'm surprised this is only "1917's" first win tonight. Have we just not gotten to that many technical categories yet?

9:42 - It is a little weird that they are just going directly into the musical performances with no announcements tonight. But I did like that slow zoom-in on the Buzz and Woody toys.

But let's be honest: Randy Newman was totally phoning this song in. The Academy just loves him so much though! It's sort of adorable.

9:44 - It was a decent performance though.

9:48 - Goddamn, it's someone else I do not recognize! When did I get so incredibly old?

9:50 - A Wild Rapper Appears!

9:51 - I think this Best Cinematographer joke is the first one to make me laugh really hard tonight.

9:52 - Rooting for "The Lighthouse" but this seems like Deakins' night. And, to be fair, "1917" did have amazing cinematography. It's not like he doesn't deserve this one.

"I'm a pretty good cook, actually." Deakins is awesome.

9:55 - "I hate this award." Okay, that made me chuckle.

I really want "Parasite" to win.

9:56 - But "Ford V. Ferrari" got it instead, which I don't mind.

9:59 - "Mr. Excitement!" I love myself a good museum but I'm kind of wondering why they are taking up time in the broadcast for this. Hanks is killin' though.

10:00 - No, Tom, I'm Spartacus! And, alright, that museum does look cool.

10:03 - Awww, Zazie Beetz is just like us. She forgets things too!

10:04 - Cynthia Enviro's dress has a very large collar. This is one of the better Best Song nominations tonight. But I still hope Elton wins.

10:07 - I'm not sure I understand the costume themeing here.

10:12 - Oh joy, I was hoping there'd be some "Cats" jokes tonight.

10:13 - Listen, I thought "The Irishman" was great but the de-aging effects were awkward, at best.

10:14 - As for "1917's" totally expected win... I loved the movie but was anything in it seriously more impressive than creating entire alien races in "Avengers: Endgame" or a whole cast of talking animals in "The Lion King?" The AMPAS' logic behind this category frequently baffles me.

10:16 - Hair and Make-up! I've got to tell you, I honestly think "Maleficent: Mistress of Evil" had the best practical effects in this category but it's also, unfortunately, a terrible movie.

Also, holy shit, what did Ray say that prompted a six minute long bleep?

10:17 - The make-up in "Bombshell" was good. John Lithgow's jowls looked excellent. But I still feel like there must've been more impressive practical make-up effects last year.

10:23 - Sounds like Best International Feature is next. If "Parasite" wins here, does that mean it won't win Best Picture? I guess we'll find out soon enough.

10:24 - That final fist fight in "Corpus Christi" was fucking amazing.

If "Pain & Glory" could get Best International Feature and "Parasite" could get Best Picture, that would be great.

10:25 - But this is fine too. Also, this is the first Korean film to win an Oscar? Insane. So much good cinema has come out of Korea in the last decade!

10:27 - "I'm ready to drink tonight!" Bong is so pure, so good. Also, his translator deserves an Oscar too for being such a good sport.

10:28 - Elton's purple suit is bitchin'. I genuinely love this song but I've always had a soft-spot for John's music. I was hoping Taron would perform with him though...

10:30 - I love how much Antonio Banderas is loving this song.

10:36 - Apparently Wes Studi got an Honorary Oscar this year. I knew David Lynch and Geena Davis got them. Either way, very cool.

10:38 - I would legit watch a movie about Gal Gadot, Brie Larson, and Sigourney Weaver forming a fight club.

10:39 - The only thing about "Joker" I really loved was its score. "Little Women" and "1917" both had great scores though. Any of those three would be fine winners.

10:42 - Sigourney bumping that mic stand. I enjoyed watching her attempt to pronounce the composer's name.

10:44 - Hildur's speech was super wholesome. She seems super sincere.

10:45 - Nice aluminum foil jacket, Diane Warren.

10:46 - I'm honestly glad Elton won. Best Song of a pretty weak lot.

"Well, this didn't suck!" Haha, you rock, Bernie.

10:48 - Elton and Bernie's bro-mance is utterly inspiring.

Elton was rambling there at the end of it was completely adorable so I can't even complain.

10:51 - Spike Lee presenting a category they've never given a damn win in.

And if fucking Todd Philips wins, I swear to god...

10:52 - FUCK YES, BONG!

"I thought I was ready to relax!" Haha, you are the man now, Bong.

10:54 - What a class act is this man. He wins an Oscar and commands everyone to give someone else a standing ovation.

10:55 - Tarantino signing "I love you" to Bong. I would like to "Texas Chainsaw" the Oscar into five pieces! "I will drink until next morning!" This boi... So pure.

10:56 - Alright, so who gets left out of the In Memorium montage this year?

10:58 - I genuinely love Billie Eillish's voice. Is that okay?

10:59 - Rutger Hauer. That one hurt.

11:03 - I think the show might actually be wrapped up before midnight? What a miracle.

Olivia Coulman is just an absolute delight.

11:04 - I hope Antonio gets it. Even if Joaquin is definitely going to win.

10:06 - Yeah, that was totally expected. And it's certainly a titanic performance, I just wish it was in a better movie.

11:07 - So it was obvious that Joaquin was going to use his time to make some sort of political statement. Here we gooooo...

Okay... Going to bat for cows. Alright. This is weird.

11:10 - Is this an anti-"Cancel Culture" thing? That speech was fucking somethin', man.

11:11 - Saorsie is my dark horse pick for Best Actress but Renee was amazing, so I'm fine if she gets it.

11:13 - I hope this means we'll be seeing more of Zellweger in more stuff again.

11:15 - Everybody thank Renee's big brother Drew.

I'm starting to miss the play-off music, you guys. Lots of rambling tonight.

11:17 - The stage managers looking at their watches, thinking "We gave Joaquin fifteen minutes, we have to give Renee fifteen too."

11:20 - And here we are, going into the last category of the night. I don't want to say the show has zipped by this year but at least it's been very... Orderly.

11:22 - It's been a great night for "Parasite." Can it pull off Best Picture? That would be amazing.

11:24 - They very awkwardly edited the "fuck" out of that "Joker" clip.

11:26 - Alright, here we go. Can "Parasite" do it?

YES! FUCKING YES! THEY ACTUALLY PICK THE BEST PICTURE FOR BEST PICTURE FOR ONCE!

11:28 - My Mom: "A whole stage full of Korean people... And Jane Fonda."

11:29 - The audience insisting Jeong-eun Lee stand up is delightful.

11:31 - When they panned over to Jane Fonda, my first thought was "Oh god, did they read the wrong name again?"

11:34 - As far as Oscar broadcast goes, this one was very straight-forward. Nothing egregiously bad. Most of the winners were fine, even great choices. Just enough crazy bullshit in the speeches to entertain. The show was somewhat slow but it also got everything out of the way without too much complication. I guess this is how Oscar broadcast probably should be.

11:36 - And that's the night! It was a great Oscar season! Thanks to the twenty people who read this. Good night!