John Kruger is an agent for Witness Protection. He is an Eraser, someone who destroys all the evidence of a target’s life so that they may start a new one. He usually accomplishes this by faking deaths and making real deaths, of those who get in the way. Kruger’s latest mission is to protect Lee, a worker for weapons contractor Cyrez. The company has developed super-deadly, high tech rail guns and someone inside is selling them to terrorists. While Kruger’s mission seems simple enough at first, it quickly becomes apparent that a mole inside Witness Protection is helping sell the guns. Teaming up with Lee, Kruger has to fight against his own agency, clear his name, get the guns back, and kill the bad guys.
Now, “Eraser” is nowhere near as good as “Commando.” However, it does feature some amazingly over-the-top, spectacularly ridiculous action sequences of its own. There’s some good stuff in the first half. Arnold ninjas into a house and crushes a guy’s head in a refrigerator door. There’s a solid shoot-out in a wood cabin, with a mook getting shotgunned out a window. Once Kruger gets on a plane, his boss turning on him, the conspiracy being revealed, “Eraser” goes totally fucking nuts. Arnold tears open a door, tosses a seat into the engine, and clings to the outside of the jet, a digital effect that does not hold up. He somehow avoids the flaming jet engine, gets on a parachute, and shoots the pilot of the plane before it flies into him. But wait, there’s more! Our hero does a free fall drop, getting tangled in his own parachute, before successfully landing on a car in a junkyard. (One of the film’s best moments: Arnold asks a little girl where he is. Her response? “Earth.”) Amazingly, that’s not even the most ridiculous thing that happens in “Eraser.” Afterwards, there’s a gun fight in the New York Zoo, climaxing in some very dicey CGI alligators munching on the bad guys. When a gator tries to munch on Arnold, he blows it away and utters the immortal line, “You’re luggage!” It’s awesome.
Chuck Russell, a reliable popcorn filmmaker who previously gifted the world with “A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors” and the 1988 version of “The Blob.” This is the right kind of big budget picture for Russell, a director talented at stretching ideas to their most entertaining point. (Russell would later make “The Scorpion King,” which is in roughly the same mode.) The film is a huge, silly, stupid crowd pleaser with the dial cranked up to “maximum ridiculousness.” As the last hurrah of eighties action, and for Arnold as the icon of those types of movies, it more then satisfies. [8/10]
[THE SIGNS OF SCHWARZENEGGER: 4 outta 5]
[X] Performs Ridiculous Feat(s) of Strength
 Says, “I’ll be back.”
[X] Shows Off Buffness
[X] Unnecessarily Violent Opponent Dispatch
[X] Wields A Big Gun or Sword With One Arm