Halloween 2022: October 15th

Master (2022)

As Halloween draws closer, the conversation around “elevated” horror has crystallized into a debate over the merits of the genre pushing themes of trauma and grief to the forefront. Even I think it's a little silly that new franchise entries and shitty mall-horror are also all about trauma. Within this debate, there is a growing consternation against horror movies that seem to put serious, real world concerns over their status as horror. Some have said that “Relic” – which I really liked – was basically a drama about Alzheimer's in horror drag. I disagree with that example specifically and, generally, this philosophy. Horror is elastic and I think the boundaries of the genre are blurrier than most. Yet a recent indie horror flick that gained some rave reviews on the festival circuit, before a little hyped streaming debut, seems to fit. “Master” is a drama about race that does the bare minimum to classify as horror. 

Gail Bishop has recently been appointed as head of college – colloquially known as the master – at prestigious Ancaster University. Among her many concerns is Jasmine Moore, one of the few black students in the school. She's living in Room 302 in the dorm, which is said to be haunted by the spirit of Margaret Mitchell, a supposed witch who was hanged in the 1700s. In the same room, back in the sixties, another black student was driven to suicide. Jasmine begins to experiences strange visions and suffer from nightmares. As Bishop gets closer to Jasmine, she also has to deal with racist vandalism on the campus.

“Master” seems to operate from the perspective that being black in America is horrifying enough. The movie packs every interaction Gail and Jasmine have with white students and staff with micro-aggressions, racist presumptions, and patronizing comments. Jasmine's white roommate talks over her before her friends assume she's the daughter of every black celebrity they can name. The also black cafeteria worker greets every white student by sneers at Jasmine. Later, she goes to a party where a bunch of white students get a little too enthusiastic as they sing along to an expletive-laden rap song. Even the metal detector in the school library seems racist against her, as it always goes off whenever she walks through. Gail, meanwhile, gets condescending looks from her white co-workers and has to put up with every obnoxious white person stereotype possible. It's remotely subtle but it also, seems to me, an accurate crystallization of an all-too common experience any person of color has lived through in this country. 

While it absolutely feels like writer/director Mariama Diallo was far more interested exploring the racism black students face on college campuses than making a frightening film, “Master” does have some effective horror sequences. A moment where Jasmine is haunted by a hooded figure in a public shower, atmospherically lit in red, builds tension nicely. Another scene subtly builds some creeps with the image of a withered, corpse-like hand reaching out from under Jasmine's bed to grab her arm. The film effectively creates the feeling that an otherworldly force is closing in on the young heroine, which peaks during the moment where she's chased from her room by the witch's spectre. These scenes are far stronger than Gail dealing with maggots squirming around her clothes and a painting in her office, though even those sequences have some squirm-inducing values.

What's most frustrating about “Master” is not that its observation about racism in America aren't potent or that its supernatural horror isn't effective. It's that these two elements never converge in a meaningful way. One assumes that the witch's spirit is a symbolic representation of the college's racist underpinnings but this never solidifies into a coherent point. The film is full of story threads that aggravatingly remain unresolved. There's a cult-like, closed-off religious community living near the college. Whether they are the origin of Margaret or directly responsible for the curse isn't made clear. A subplot about seemingly the only other black woman on the faculty veers in some unexpected directions, providing the emotional climax to a story that basically already ended. Instead of arriving at a clear conclusion, the film abruptly ends afterwards. 

If you cleaved the haunting premise out of “Master,” you'd still have an observant drama about being black in modern America. If you presented the fright scenes isolated, they would be fairly creepy little vignettes. Together, they never make a meaningful connection. Worst yet, the script feels vague for vagueness' sake, suggesting the filmmakers' just didn't have a good ending in mind. It's no fault of the cast. Regina Hall and Zoe Renee are both very good as Gail and Jasmine. The cinematography and production design are decent. In the quest to make the next “Get Out,” people are perhaps loosing track of the delicate balance of tone and narrative that made that movie work so well. [6/10]

Class of Nuke 'Em High 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown (1991)

Lloyd Kaufman is a savvy marketer. He must've realized, early on, that the only way Troma would ever survive is if they established a devoted fan following among the hardcore weirdos who ate up their aggressively crude, endlessly vulgar, and crassly confrontational movies. This is, presumably, how the studio still exists in the 21st century. Despite that, Troma has produced surprisingly few sequels, usually the most important element of establishing a film brand. “The Toxic Avenger” would spawn three follow-ups, an inexplicable Saturday morning cartoon, and an upcoming Hollywood remake. “Class of Nuke 'Em High,” meanwhile, is really the only other on-going series Kaufman had a hand in. Five years after the original batch of freaks ravaged Tromaville High, a sequel would be unleashed into the world.

Following the destruction of Tromaville High and the neighboring nuclear power plant in the previous film, the Nukamama Corporation has stepped in to rebuild. On the site of the previous location, they've built the Tromaville Institute of Technology and another nuclear reactor. The student body have, once again, been mutated into tattooed and pierced ruffians that reek havoc all over the campus. This has made it hard for student reporter Roger to find a girl. That all changes when he participates in a sex study and meets Victoria. Victoria, however, is a subhumanoid: A radioactive mutant created by Professor Holt and Dean Okra deep within the school, to sell around the world as mindless slaves. It all comes to a head when a giant, mutated squirrel gets loose.

Troma movies always exist in an chaotic, nonsensical, and outrageous alternate universe. Yet the original “Class of Nuke 'Em High,” no matter its flaws, at least built up to the craziest stuff with some degree of escalation. The sequel begins with its most outrageous image: A kaiju-sized radioactive squirrel destroying the school. The opening minutes plunge the viewer right into the film's insane world, with car crashes, explosions, crushed action figures, “Twin Peaks” references, and lots of rampaging lunatics. Within minutes, there's a scene of topless women being chased by a big fat guy, both of them accompanied by boinging sound effects. While the students in the original grew more mutated and depraved as the film went on, “Subhumanoid Meltdown” starts with the Tromaville residents being madmen. There's another morbidly obese fellow who wears a leather vest and a hubcap around his neck, who farts directly into the screen. All the women wear punk rock, S&M, bikini gear. It's hard for any sort of comedic tone, even one as obnoxious as the Troma house style, to build when the movie begins in that mode and never stops for ninety-five minutes. 

That opening barrage of chaos sets the precedence for what is an almost plotless progression of dumb-ass and sleazy gags. “Subhumanoid Meltdown” has a vague outline, of Roger falling in love with Victoria and attempting to free the genetically engineered subhumanoids before they all melt down. Mostly, this is a clothesline to hang increasingly dire jokes on. The most annoying bit is Dean Okra having a high-pitch, squeaky voice. There's a tidal wave of naked breasts, multi-colored vomit, and more dubbed-in “funny” voices and sound effects. There's obvious, smug meta jokes too, including shout-outs to other Troma flicks, a cameo from Toxie, and several attempts to shatter the fourth wall. 

It's mostly obnoxious, with only a handful of jokes sticking out. Such as random mentions of dolphin meat. Or Roger being hated by everyone, despite being a normal guy inexplicably played by a pro-wrestler named “Brick.” His relationship with Victoria is so ridiculously contrived that it becomes kind of funny. Mostly, “Class of Nuke 'Em High 2” surfs by on a handful of creative special effects. Among the subhumanoids are a collection of human/animal hybrids, brought to life through suitably bizarre stop-motion animation. The subhumanoids can be identified by having mouths where their navels would normally be, a freaky bit of body horror. When one melts down, there's lots of slime, green pus, and melting skin. That's pretty memorable. When there's a green, ball creature floating around on a string, that sticks in the mind too even if it looks intentionally shitty. 

I know, from reading Lloyd Kaufman's books, that Tromie the giant squirrel was intended to be an in-person costumed character, like Toxie or Sgt. Kabukiman. Instead, the performers kept overheating in the suits, prompting cancelations of such plans. The sequels seem to find squirrels inexplicably hilarious, as the violent gang are also named the Squirrels. As I've gotten older, my tolerance for Troma's shenanigans have waned. “Class of Nuke 'Em High 2” doubles down on the obnoxious, in-your-face attitude that made the studio infamous. I almost admire the movie working as hard as it does to be continuously annoying. Yet it's hard to get much entertainment value out of something so limited in its wit and so overwhelming in its loudness. [5/10]

Freddy's Nightmares: It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To

I haven't liked a single episode of “Freddy's Nightmares” but I'm still irresistibly drawn towards it. I guess the idea of Freddy Krueger as a horror host is so promising that I'm hopeful it'll produce a decent episode eventually. The first half of “It's My Party and I'll Die if I Want To” concerns Mara, a phony medium. While at a psychic research convention, she successfully channels the spirit of Freddy Krueger... Who then takes over body and starts to commit murders with it, beginning with her debunker archenemy. The second half follows a Hollywood screenwriter and his date, who are in the same hotel for a 20 year high school reunion. This turns out to be Freddy's graduating class and he decides to attend, targeting the girl who promised – and then backed out – to be his prom date. 

“It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To” is easily the best episode of “Freddy's Nightmares” I've seen thus far. This is faint praise, as it still looks as cheap and feels as awkward as every episode. The first half manages to be amusing strictly because it allows Robert Englund to be his natural, hammy self. His interaction with Mara, played by an energetic Gwen Banta,  feature lots of goofy one-liners and mugging deliveries from Englund. I was surprised network standards of the time allowed Freddy to drop his trademark dialogue – ending sentences with “Bitch!” – so often. Then again, this show was known for pushing the standard for sexiness and violent. Freddy slashes a throat, beats a head-in, and twists a head around 180 degrees. Meanwhile, Banta spends most of the episode in a low-cut negligee. It's extremely dumb and ugly looking but Englund's overacting and enough murder makes it worth seeing.

The second half is not as good. It lacks a main character, as the girl is the focus at first before the screenwriter takes over. The question of what Freddy was like as a teenager is an interesting one and his high school years would probably be worth exploring more. This episode doesn't really have much of a chance to do that, aside from a few spare lines of dialogue. Nevertheless, Englund's involvement is the main attraction here. There's a deliriously dumb scene where Freddy crashes the high school reunion, which is shortly followed by a surprisingly graphic heart ripping. There's a meta element here – the script being written ends up being for “A Nightmare on Elm Street” – but that's not developed much. I maintain that “Freddy's Nightmares” was a great idea for a show that is badly hampered by shitty production values. Nevertheless, “It's My Party...” bleeds enough entertainment value out of Englund and Krueger's charisma to earn a half-hearted recommendation. [6/10]

The Munsters: Herman's Happy Valley / Hot Rod Herman

Happy Valley, Kansas was referenced in a recent episode of "The Munster" but "Herman's Happy Valley" is about something else. Herman buys a vacation property sight unseen, not realizing it's a Western ghost town owned by two scammers. The Munsters, of course, feel right at home there. This is a problem for the fraudsters when a missile manufacturer plans to buy the land for a testing site. In "Hot Rod Herman," Eddie says his dad can beat Sandy Baylor's dad at the drag strip the following weekend. Unaware that Mr. Baylor is a professional racer, Herman sups up the family car into a race machine and bets it to Baylor should he loose. Which, naturally, he does. This forces Grandpa to build his own race car and win the family Koach back. 

Pretty much every episode of "The Munsters" has normal people responding to the family with shock and fright. "Herman's Happy Valley" does switch things up a bit, by placing the family in a location they fit right in with. Sadly, once the plot about the scammers trying to run them off by pretending to be ghost kicks in, you see exactly where this is going. However, the required scene of normies running in terror, via sped-up footage, does feature a neat stunt of someone swinging from a chandelier. The funniest moments in this episode are more character driven. Such as Herman's reaction to Eddie reading him a comic book or the raven in the family clock actually getting in a good punchline. Also, this is the second episode to feature a reference to Nick Adams for some reason. I guess he was a bigger deal in the sixties than I realized...

"Hot Rod Herman" is easily the most famous episode of "The Munsters," thanks to Rob Zombie naming his biggest hit after Grandpa' dragster. (They even did a series of action figures based on this episode alone.) Indeed, the Drag-U-La is quite cool and the climatic race features an amusing gag, when Herman has to help Grandpa put on the brakes. Yet there are other quality laughs here too. Herman dressing up in a leather jacket and dismissing his wife in the manner of a street punk features some great buffoonery from Fred Gwynne. I also got a chuckle out of an earlier scene, where Grandpa is presented with a burning breakfast. Probably not the funniest episode of the series I've ever seen but a fair representation of the general tone of the program. [Herman's Happy Valley: 6/10 / Hot Rod Herman: 7/10]